Saturday, 1 September 2012

Just Say Yes

"Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back"



How often do you turn things down or shy away from doing things a little out of your comfort zone? How often do you say NO? For me, this word would crop up an awful lot more than the word "yes". 

As most of you may or may not be aware, I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks (read more on that here), so for me, sometimes saying no, I believe, is the only option. My mind takes control and makes me think that I will be safe doing the things that are within my comfort zone, things that don't scare me. But, what kind of a life is that? Do I really want to be confined to doing things with baby steps over and over? Life is too short for that. Do I want to live my life turning things down and missing out on so many opportunities just because it scares me a bit? No, and neither do you. 

If you are reading this, and you suffer with anxiety disorder, have panic attacks, depression, have social anxiety or are just a very negative or shy person, then I know full well, you want more than anything to be able to say yes to so many things, but the way your mind works, means you are terrified to do this. What is the worst that could happen though? Will you drop down dead? No, the chance of that happening are slim to none. 

It's taken me so long to try and push all my negative thoughts surrounding different activities that are linked with my panic attacks, but i've just reached a point in my life where I think "SOD IT". So what if I have a panic attack? What's going to happen to me? I would rather do more things, that I can look back on and think "I'm so glad I did that" than think "I really wish I'd done that". I don't want to ever be left with that awful question floating around in my head of "what if?". There may be times when you do panic, or you do get in a flap about something, but if you know that ultimately you're going to be okay, at least you can say you did it, or you tried it, and at least you won't be left thinking "what if?".  


I've had so many panic attacks I can't even keep count, but do I remember all of these and relive these panic attacks every day of my life? No I don't. What would be the point? Anxiety is really rubbish, panic attacks are really rubbish, but you can't let these things take complete control of your life or you will be consumed by nothing else, and it will make you desperately unhappy. You are more likely to remember all the amazing times, than you are to remember times where you felt anxious. Why miss out on any opportunity to make happy memories you'll keep with you forever because of this?

One thing I find very difficult about living with anxiety, is the hold it takes over you without you even realising. You get used to it, and you get used to the way of living, and you don't see how your behaviours are so varied from the norm. I am very jealous of people that ooze confidence. I sometimes think "If only I never had to worry about anything", but then do I really have anything to worry about anyway? Are the things I worry about really significant in the grand scheme of things? The answer is no, probably not.


I hold back on so many things, that I feel like I can never 100% enjoy myself in any situation. There are very rarely times in my life, where anxious thoughts are not floating around in my head, ruining a situation for me. Sometimes i'll even be driving to Asda and they'll be there. I feel like my anxiety is a little demon living inside my head (I know, i'm getting slightly freaky on yo asses, but you know what I mean), and the only way to ever destroy it is to be like "LOOK, SEE, I'M FINE, I CAN DO THIS, NOW GO AWAY", and eventually he will get bored, and leave (I'd just like to make it clear at this point that I am not possessed, all clear on that? Yes? good).

More recently, I've had a bit of a wakeup call. I felt myself becoming too consumed by certain aspects of my life, certain people, situations and mostly, my anxiety. I stopped going to events in London, I stopped meeting my friends as much, I stopped eating out in restaurants as much, I stopped getting the train. I let my anxious mind take complete control. Some days, I just spent on my own, speaking to nobody and doing nothing, because I felt safe that way. Nobody should be living their life like this, and sometimes it takes a small (or large) slap in the face for you to realise which path you were heading down. Consider this yours. 

Over the past few weeks, I feel as though I have turned over a new leaf. I want to be more positive about things. Being anxious means you are more likely to find the negatives in any situation before the positives, and this becomes so draining. Not just for you, but for others around you. 

I have started to say YES to things I'd never normally say yes to. I'm not saying yes to absolutely everything, but i'm making a conscious effort to agree to more things. I recently went to a Festival, and yes, it was only for the day, but I have a slight fear over festivals. Large crowds, drunk people who will probably end up vomming (fear of vomit), but I put all this to the back of my mind, and just went. I had such a good day and got to see one of my favourite bands and make happy memories. The alternative to that, would have been to stay at home doing nothing, which a few weeks back, is exactly what I would have done. I went on 3 trains to meet a friend to film YouTube videos to a place i'd never been before. I know most of you reading this will raise an eyebrow here and think "Zoe, that really is no biggy", but for someone who couldn't even get on one train, to one stop without being on the brink of an anxiety attack a mere few weeks ago, this is a huge achievement for me, and again, had such a good day!

I feel so much better for saying yes to things. It has improved my confidence drastically, and it's made me want to go out and do more things that i'd normally never think/want to do. It's making me feel a lot more positive, and with positivity, comes happiness.



I guess the point i'm trying to make with this post, is please think about this for a second, try and step away from your anxious/negative mindset, and look at the bigger picture...

You get ONE life (unless of course you are a feline), one chance to do anything and everything you want. Do not let something like this control your decisions or ruin experiences for you. The same goes for people. Don't let people ruin things for you, or control your behaviours or your life choices. 

It's YOUR life. Share it with others but don't let anyone, or anything take over the control you have.

Say YES. Make it your mission, to do things you'd never normally do, go places you'd never normally go, meet people you'd never normally meet. How can you make memories, and take new paths in life if you turn everything down?

Taking the quote in the song in THIS blog post "Do one thing everyday that scares you". I probably wouldn't take this too literally if you have severe anxiety, but apply it to making decisions every once in a while to begin with. So what if it scares you? Think about how you'll feel when you accomplish it, think about the opportunities it could bring you. Think how happy it could make you!


Now, after reading this blog post, there are a few things I want you to do:

Say YES to something you wouldn't normally say yes to, and let me know in the comments what it was
Listen to the song posted below, I likes it!
Watch the film "Yes Man"
Alternatively, download/buy the book "Yes Man" written by Danny Wallace & read it
Put your favourite song on and dance around to it (not for any reason other than i'm sure it will make you feel at least 10x better than you did before reading this)
Remember that you are not the only one feeling this way, and that only you can change the outlook you have on life




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668 comments:

  1. Fantastic post! I'm also making a conscious effort to say yes to more things; it is time for me to branch out a little bit =) xo

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  2. Such a lovely post, I've really needed a little push recently to have the confidence to take more risks and live my life to the full! I especially love the last quote! x

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  3. Good stuff, I need to make more of an effort to do this too! x

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  4. great post! & I totally agree with everything you've said - I used to never to do anything because I was so shy, & it's only recently I've started saying yes to most things :) x

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  5. this is such a lovely, warm and positive post. everything you said i could really relate too and ill definitely be trying to yes a lot more! xo

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  6. i love this song! thanks you have really made my day <3 xx

    chloe-clobo.blogspot.com

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  7. This is such an inspiring post Zoe! I suffer from anxiety incredibly badly and probably 9/10 of the closest people to me don't even know this.. so it's comforting to read a post by somebody who understands xxx

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  8. This is fantastic zoe!
    I have never had anxiety, but recently things have happened in my life that have made me scared of doing things I used to do. I have had no choice but to force myself to go through with them anyway, but it does get distressing, and I hope this will help someone with more sever anxiety than I to get through their day a bit easier! well done! xxx

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  9. Brilliant post! I've suffered with really bad anxiety since I had a big spine operation a few years ago, which meant that I went months with out leaving the house because I was too scared too, and then when I did I wouldn't go out when it was busy. The last few months I've pushed myself to go to busier places to get used to it all again, but it's really scary! I'm starting a make up course in London which is one of the worst places for my anxiety to crop up, but this post has helped calm me down on it so much, thank you! :)
    Rosie xx

    www.withlove-rosemarie.blogspot.co.uk

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  10. wow..i felt exactly the same for a long,long time. makes me feel better to know that there are other people who have to fight against the same fears. I`m sure you are helping a lot of girls with this post..

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  11. Aah this is such a good post! I have social anxiety and I do avoid so many social situations because I'm just too scared, then sit and feel sorry for myself while everyone else has a good time. I've recently been trying to change that too, but it is super hard!! One day at a time, i'll get there! :) xx

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  12. This post is a real eye opener, I think sometimes we all get trapped in our own little bubbles, I need to make more effort to get outside of mine :) lovely post xoxo

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  14. This is a fantastic post Zoe and you should be mega proud of yourself for the attitude you have to life, despite your panic attacks! I also suffer from anxiety and even silly things (like driving across a roundabout I've never driven across before) scares me to death, as stupid as that sounds. I have actually worked myself up so much that I've burst into tears (about a roundabout) or going somewhere I haven't been before, or putting myself in a situation I feel comfortable in. Like you, I would much prefer to be in an environment I feel 'safe' in and turn down situations that throw me out of my comfort zone. So you should be really proud of yourself for turning over a new leaf, even if it's small steps - because sometimes it's just the small things that make the big difference, as silly as that sounds!

    Contrary to you, I say 'Yes' to things that are quite far away in the future, out of anxiety of disappointing everyone and then work myself up when the event in question gets close (how silly!) but you're right - we shouldn't live our life in fear of what's to come. Inventing situations in my head that are hopefully not going to happen is no way to live a life - and I think I just need to get my head round that!

    As much as anxiety does rule a life, I think its just about finding a way to manage and control it, putting yourself out of your comfort zone, but perhaps with a group of friends who you feel comfortable with (hypothetically) perhaps?

    Hope you feel lots better, and although I'm sure you have lots of support from your lovely friends :) there are lots of blog readers who are here for you too (which I'm sure you know!).

    Love Scarlett xx

    xxxx

    scarlettlondon.com

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  15. Owww, loved this post - so motivating! I don't get panic attacks but sometimes do have anxiety and make excuses not to do things because of it - but trying much more to take the bull by the horns and say yes to things! Loved your post Zoe, I've followed your YouTube channel for a while, but just come across your blog! x

    http://cosmetic-queen-bee.blogspot.co.uk/

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  16. Zoe you are true inspiration. I'm always scared of things and I even find it hard to order a drink (my friends think it funny) or be in crowded places. Yesterday I talked with my mam and said to her that I want to say yes to things that scare me because I feel like I'm not making any memories. It's sad because I'm 18 and I should be having the best time of my life. Thank you one more time for this post. I would really like to do an interview with you for my blog but it's a little bit hard to actually contact you. Have a beautiful day Zoe :)x

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  17. This is a fantastic post Zoe and you should be mega proud of yourself for the attitude you have to life, despite your panic attacks! I also suffer from anxiety and even silly things (like driving across a roundabout I've never driven across before) scares me to death, as stupid as that sounds. I have actually worked myself up so much that I've burst into tears (about a roundabout) or going somewhere I haven't been before, or putting myself in a situation I feel comfortable in. Like you, I would much prefer to be in an environment I feel 'safe' in and turn down situations that throw me out of my comfort zone. So you should be really proud of yourself for turning over a new leaf, even if it's small steps - because sometimes it's just the small things that make the big difference, as silly as that sounds!

    Contrary to you, I say 'Yes' to things that are quite far away in the future, out of anxiety of disappointing everyone and then work myself up when the event in question gets close (how silly!) but you're right - we shouldn't live our life in fear of what's to come. Inventing situations in my head that are hopefully not going to happen is no way to live a life - and I think I just need to get my head round that!

    As much as anxiety does rule a life, I think its just about finding a way to manage and control it, putting yourself out of your comfort zone, but perhaps with a group of friends who you feel comfortable with (hypothetically) perhaps?

    Hope you feel lots better, and although I'm sure you have lots of support from your lovely friends :) there are lots of blog readers who are here for you too (which I'm sure you know!).

    Love Scarlett xx

    xxxx

    scarlettlondon.com

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  18. thanks for this post Zoe! I haven't suffered from anxiety attacks in the past but I have terrible nerves and worry to the point where I'll make myself ill. It's was becoming too much in my life and I was no longer thinking about all the things I had to be thankful for (there are lots!). Like you, I've kind of turned a leaf and thought, as you said, 'Sod it!'. Someone said to me the saying, 'Don't think, just be' which I'm trying to think of when I feel that horrible worry feeling.

    xxx

    http://123charmthebees.blogspot.co.uk/

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  19. Such a lovely post! I sure see myself in this I'm such a softy!
    I need your effort :)

    Http://throughchelseaseyes.com/
    Xxxxx

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  20. i had the same problem, at one point i was even afraid to leave my own house (!!) but one day i realized that i had enough, well why should i be afraid that something will happen to me, as they say worrying won't change the outcome. so i went with my friends to paris because why not, and then we went to london, and nothing bad happen i just had amazing time, something i will never forget and it feel amazing. :) wish u the best Zoe :)

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  21. ZOE!!!!! the timing is so perfect!! i have to leave my country and study in London , but i have such a great fear that smth will happen to my parents or to people close to me while im there . now that i read your post im no longer having 2nd thoughts, this is my chance , my opportunity , it will get difficult but thats what life is about.
    thank you so so so much Zoe you just helped me to make the greatest decision in my life.
    I am going to London on the 18th woooooooooooooohoo! time to start living responsibly all to myself and creating a path . no more "staying where im comfortable" aka my bedroom&pjs&laptop. im gonna exlore the hell out of it. thank you so much.

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  22. Amazing post! It's so nice to know I'm not alone in my little anxious boat and that other people battle with similar things. Sometimes knowing that is enough to take positive little steps - it's a kind of "we're all in this together" type feeling. Well done on conquering your train fear! You've inspired me to tackle my fear of buses :) xxxx

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  23. I suffer from anxiety too, i've only ever had one panic attack and it was horrible, in the last 3/4 months i wouldnt go out with my friends because i'd rather be at home in the "safe zone" but im going to put the negative thoughts away and start thinking positively :D inspiring post!xx

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  24. I looove this post. I don't have an actual anxiety disorder or panic attacks but doing things out of my comfort zone make me very anxious and before this year I used to say no to a lot of things. But one of my new years resolutions was to put that behind me and say yes to things and go out and do things I wouldn't do no matter how small or big and it has been such a great experience. I just feel better and don't get scared of every little thing :)
    xx

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  25. You've done it again zoe! You have written a blog post that i can totally relate to (massive anxiety sufferer) and I have bookmarked this post to come back to when I need a little confidence, I agree with everything you have said. Thank you so much for writing this!
    xx

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  26. I just needed this :) Thank you, Zoe!

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  27. Beautiful post! I find myself missing out on a lot, because I am so worrisome. I need to actively try to "just say yes" before there's no time left to live my life to the fullest. Thanks for your post!

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  28. Great blog post, just tweeted you to say how good it was :)

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  29. this is so perfect, and just what i needed. <3
    going to try say yes to everything from now on! x
    http://eleanorcos.blogspot.com/

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  30. this is the best post i've read in a long time! thank you so much zoe xxx

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  31. amazing blog post, especially as its about something i can completely relate to, as i suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, so love it, thank you for being such an inspiration to me!
    xoxo

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  32. What a positive post! I love reading the posts on your anxiety problems. I suffer badly from depression myself and know exactly how it feels - how you want to find a safe place where nothing can harm you. Unfortunately, I live my life with endometriosis and so a lot of the time I cannot just say 'yes' since I live each day as it comes due to the pain. Well done to you though for making such an effort to overcome the problems in your head. It can be hard but over time doing things like this will make it easier to cope with.

    Endometriosis my life with you

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  33. I love this post. I suffer from OCD and anxiety. Every once in awhile I will have a panic attack. It is the worst. Deep breathing and reciting a bible verse usually helps me. I also ALWAYS play it safe. I'm such a worry wart. And i can't believe I found someone else that is terrified of puke. I'm terrified of getting sick too. When someone around me throws up, I have serious anxiety. Anyways, thanks for the encouraging post!

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  34. I suffer from bad anxiety too and I'm having CBT sessions now to help me as it has gone on since I was 16! I'm now 20 and I have passed up so many opportunities already! Now I try my best to do things that I wouldn't normally - it feels amazing to overcome something that scares you! Good luck Zoe! Xx

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  35. Such a good post. A lot of people could learn something from this, including myself!You should be proud of yourself Zoe.
    I decided to put myself out of my comfort zone by creating a blog. I'm way too chicken to start youtube! But its a step in the right direction. The idea that someone I know in real life could read my blog scares the crap out of me! I'd appreciate it if you could have a butchers if you get time.
    Megan xx
    http://britishbeautygeek.blogspot.co.uk/

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  36. I could have written this. Zoe you have literally written down what I wish I could tell myself. I, like you, suffer from anxiety, panic attacks and emetephobia. I also have bad health anxiety and when I feel ill I will literally stay in my room and not go out until I feel better for fear of having a panic attack. I have had a tough time since April since a car accident. I was beginning to say yes to more things, getting a new job, going out in the evenings. But after the crash I am back to being a recluse because of the increased panic attacks. I only live half an hour away from London, yet haven't been into central London in almost a year because of panic attacks on trains and the tube (I suffer particularly with throat problems where it feels like a lump in my throat is gonna choke me). I have got a friends birthday next week and more than anything I would like to go. I'd already decided weeks ago that I wouldn't go because a)I know I'll have a panic attack b)I'll probably feel ill anyway. After reading your post I really want to just say yes now. I wish I had people who understood anxiety, unless people have had panic attacks or anxiety, it's hard for them to understand what we go through. So thanks Zoe :) You've really made me feel less lonely and as tough as anxiety is, there's always people out there who understand if we look xxx

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  37. I think this is the best blog post I've ever read. I don't suffer from anxiety issues but I am scared to step out of my comfort zone. I think this post will help me when I start uni next week and give me the confidence to make new friends and say yes to situations I would normally say no to!
    So thank you. Very inspiring lady <3

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  38. Such a great post :) I actually said to myself this summer that I would do more things and go to different places and say YES!
    Have you ever thought about being a motivational speaker/writer? because you're really good at it :) Just saying!! x

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  39. Great post and good to hear you are overcoming your anxieties :) xx

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  40. I might just take this advice. Thank you.

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  41. Great post and good to hear that you are overcoming your anxieties :) xx

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  42. This is a fantastic blog post. Depression and anxiety is something I suffer from and this post really summed it all up for me. You can easily get into a vicious cycle and you can only see the negatives in everything. You feel too scared to do certain things and then become more and more withdrawn. You feel less and less like "normal" people so you feel even worse and your confidence gets knocked more and more. I have got to the point now where I've realised I've got to push myself out of my comfort zone or things will never improve. I've been on medication and had counselling but ultimately I know a lot of it comes down to myself and how determined I can be to not let it take over my life. I have to force myself into situations which I'm scared of so I can get through them and realise they're not as bad as I thought and then bit by bit, my confidence and self esteem rise and go back a little closer to where they were before I got depression and anxiety. It's a horrible thing to suffer with and it's a constant battle but if you can try the things you've said, it will help you get closer to happiness and peace within.

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  44. An excellent topic and very encouraging. It's like a page out of your diary! You've made me be more conscious of my own decisions on whether to do something or take up an invitation. I am one who says 'no' most of the time or 'maybe' and then never do it. I dont suffer from anxiety attacks, but I do lack confidence and can be a bit awkward in social situations as a result. Coincidentally all in the same day, I watched Fleur's vlog about confidence, read your blog and watched Louise's video about beauty vs brains where she talks about how your own problems can seem overwhelming but also how miniscule a thing it actually is when you realise that your existence in the world is so small. You have all really helped me to focus on being a better me and to direct my energy into things that actually matter. I want to thank you for sharing and giving your time to us and want you to know that I for one value and appreciate the time and effort you put in to blogging and making videos. You inspire me to express myself more and provoke reflection on myself. So BIG thank you!

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  45. This is such a brilliant blog post, the song is amazing and the way you explain your anxiety so freely really is inspirational, you seem like such a lovely, gorgeous lady and I am so not sure what you have to worry about! Have fun doing things you wouldn't normally and never regret it! After all; YOLO ;)

    beautyfashionequestrian.blogspot.co.uk

    XXX

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  46. I really needed this post right now. Thanks so much, Zoe :) xx

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  47. Wow how inspiring, great to hear things have turned around for you :)

    Sophierosehearts, currently having an 100 follower giveaway! x

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  48. I am cheering for you right now! the way you describe yourself and your way of thinking about things just hit home really hard. i am a negative person and dealt with rock bottom depressions all my life and lately i wanted to change that. you really helped me by writing this! it's amazing how you can describe the way i feel when someone asks me 'hey, wanna go out tonight?' or something like that because for me that's really difficult to explain to people who don't have to deal with anxiety/depression. i am going to think positive and say yes to things i'd usually say no to because you made me take that step further and i thank you for that! i am sure that you will be doing great and have lots of good things coming for you! (: xxx

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  49. This post is exactly how I want to be. I suffer with anxiety and have done since I was young. It has ruined a lot of things for me and I have avoided so many things because of it. It in a way rules who I am and doesn't let me be who I want to be. Recently I said yes to going on a summer camp and now I feel like I can beat the anxiety. The summer camp was amazing and I made so many friends and did so many things I never normally would do. I also watched yes man when I got back from the camp haha. Anxiety is a horrible thing and anyone who suffers with it understands how hard it is to take control of. I hope others read this post and feel as inspired as I do. Awareness also needs to be raised! Not just for anxiety but for mental illnesses as a whole!

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  50. Love this post!! ...i say no to alot of things but ive got better since starting uni. even my boyfriend is happy with the change :)

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  51. This is exactly the motivation I'm needing at the moment. Playing everything safe is getting me absolutely nowhere and I want to go places in life! Recently, I took the leap and signed up to participate in my college's drama production as acting is such a huge passion of mine but one I'm scared to pursue. Thank you, as this post has given me the inspiration to make the most of this opportunity! xxx

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  52. I love this post Zoe, i can soo relate to you. As i have anxiety and can get palpitations. i wont do SO much because im just too scared... i wish i was at your point and to just say yes and do what i want to do.
    Keep it up Zoe and i hope you achieve what you want :D x

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  53. This is such an inspiring post! xx

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  54. Zoe! This post was the thing i needed right now! I'm crying here because i just realised how bad my anxiety is! I'm always scared, afraid and worried. i'm always overthinking. This post just made me feel 10 times better! And now I'm going to go and try to do all the things you wanted us to do!
    Lots of love,
    Krislin xx

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  55. This is an absolutely perfect post. I've definitely needed something like this post to make me really stop and think, I can get bad panic attacks and I'm just a generally shy person around new people and new things because I feel like I'll be judged but there's a point when you've just got to stop that and really try your hardest to snap out of that and make your life more enjoyable for yourself.

    The next time I'm asked to do something I'd usually say no to I will definitely think back to this amazing post and really try my hardest to do whatever it is.

    Thanks Zoe.

    Vanese
    vanzthemachinee.blogspot.co.uk
    xx

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  56. This is the exact motivation I need right now. I cannot tell you how much this will help me, I needed this so so much. Thank you Zoe, I know you will inspire SO many people with this, me being one of them. I was planning to go to the Cinema with a group of friends yesterday and almost cancelled at the last minute because I was scared of feeling ill there and getting panicky.. In the end I just went and had an amazing night and was absolutely fine the whole time. It just goes to show it's some stupid thing in your mind than you can easily control and prove wrong and do the things you love.
    xx

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  57. Loved this post! Its like you wrote half of my life's story in it! And you are right, its time to start saying YES and taking risks and enjoy life. Thank you xoxo

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  58. I was thinking to myself that my anxiety seems to have gone, but then i relaised it's because i haven't been out of the house much these holidays. You give such great advice, phrases such as 'Yolo' don't really have much affect on me, however when i'm in two minds about doing something, i'll think of you zoe in my head saying "Just say yes!" Thank you xx

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  59. i don't know what to say, other than thankyou... thankyou for being honest and open. thankyou for taking your time to write this. thankyou for showing us to live our lives. just, thankyou

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  60. Amazing post, thank you so so much for this! I suffer from social anxiety and I completely relate to everything you said. It's so lovely to hear from someone who has to face some of the same issues!

    I'm starting Sixth Form next week and although I love all my classes a part of me is dreading it because it's completely out of my comfort zone! It's so silly to feel that way so I'm really determined to change things. You're absolutely right about not letting anxiety control you, and saying 'yes' to more things - it is difficult, but it's so so true that you are the only person who can make a difference. I'm determined to make a real effort to push myself this year! :)

    I'm so pleased you've been able to start to get rid of those negative thoughts that were holding you back from trying new things! It's a difficult thing to do so it's so inspiring to know someone else has been able to do it. I know it sounds a bit strange but seeing someone else overcoming a problem like this is really helpful! I feel more confident now that it's something I can do.

    This post has really made my day, and I'm sure it will help lots of other people too <3

    Abby xxxx

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  61. I'm reallllyyyy shy and starting uni in 3 weeks (in bath, which just happens to be near you :P) and my dad keeps telling me exactly this. So that if somebody asks me if I want to go out somewhere I should just say yes and then hopefully I will make lots of new friends :)

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  62. This was such a great post!! its very positive to hear someone be able to confront an issue of panic attacks! I started suffering around two years ago from them and was so embarrassed for months because I was such a strong and fearless person before. I would use everything as an excuse not to go on nights out or camping trips with friends because i hated people seeing me so helpless and out of control. Eventually I got to the point where I had to tell people, my friends and family were so supportive and helped bring me back out of my shell and realise that you can't help having a panic attack or feeling anxious BUT you can change they way you feel about having them! I now say YES to a lot more things - like i am currently now on exchange to Montreal and living 1000 miles away from home , having to meet new people and fly alone and I haven't had one attack! Its liberating and I love reading your posts as they are liberating too!!!!

    Sxx

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  63. I discovered you blog yesterday. I was searching for new blogs to follow in Blogloving and I saw your blog and really got my attention, so I followed.
    And today it's my birthday (Semptember 1st) and just to read this at my 20th birthday, I can honestly tell you was the biggest gift ever. You know, I'm 100% what you wrote, it's so much better and safe to say No and be in your comfort zone, but what's for? just stay at home doing nothing? how am I suppose to live my life like that? What stories am I suppose to tell my kids if I'm living like that? Or not-living right?
    I can't say in words how this text really got into my deepest emotions.
    My 20th birthday resolutions is to say more Yes now on in my life!

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  64. gaaahd, im so happy you made this post! Knowing that someone else has this little person in the back of their mind convincing then that everything different is a bad idea is such a relief. Ive put off so sooo many things that seem like such a good idea because i think of all the little negatives that could possibly(but are highly unlikely) to happen, and NEVER focus on the positives.

    From now on i will make such an effort to try new things and do things i was afraid to do before. Im about to go into my first year of sixth form so its the perfect time to start and make (hopefully) a bunch of new freinds.

    thank you so much zoe

    love Carmen xx

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  65. good post Zoe :) i did the other day all about saying YES more :) x

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  66. Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe. <3

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  67. Fantastic post! I've been doing better these past few weeks but the last months have been awful and at some point, even going to the little grocery shop across the street (literally across my street!!) was becoming too hard. But it upset and frustrated me, so I'm trying to do more things, like you said, and say yes before I even start thinking of all the horrible things that could happen if I go. It's hard, some days more than others, to step out of your comfort zone. But yes, it's very necessary.

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  68. Dear Zoe, you are, in one word, amazing. This blog post says every little thing I needed to hear. I usually just say "No" to most of the things in life. For example I often want to go cycling, but then I think "maybe I'll meet other people and I don't want them to see me cycling" so I just don't go, I'll stay at home and sit on the computer. Or when I want to go to the local grocery store, but won't, because I'm afraid I'll meet someone I know there. It's actually really horrible to think like that... I'm overall a very very positive person, you'll almost never see me being sad, but I get anxious about being surrounded by lots of people and this needs to stop. I need to live a little.
    Really, thank you, this post was a wake up call I needed :) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Maarja xx

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  69. Such an inspiring post Zoe! As for the train, I understand completely, it is a real biggie so well done!! :) I had my first ever panic attack on a train all alone miles away from home, it was horrific! Unsurprisingly I never got back on a train again and still haven't. I have recently done a course of CBT and have been doing things that I haven't done for years. You are right, the small amount of time you spend panicking is nothing in comparison to how much better you feel once you've done it. I still have a way to go but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm glad you can too :) xx

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  70. this is the most inspirational thing i think i have ever read! your story is incredible zoe! this has really helped my way of thinking, im really going to try to make an effort to do more things outside of my comfort zone! :D xxx

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  71. Fantastic blog post :) I will definitely be trying this! Well done zoe! Hope saying yes from time to time makes you feel better as you're so lovely :) xxx

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  72. I loved this post, It is exactly the attitude I have been coming around to lately and it is so motivating to see others doing this as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! xx

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  73. Amazing amazing post zoe. Thank you for this. I really mean it, I also get anxious and yesterday a friend asked if I wanted to go to this party next week, I didn't want to go because I am a little overweight and always feel so self conscious, also I am kinda shy in large groups of people and this post just really have me the confidence to say yes and go. I don't usually go out alot, but I'm looking forward to this and am so glad I said yes, what's the worst that can happen right?;)

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  74. A beautiful post. Thank you so much for the inspiration. I'm in my last year of University and I feel like I've wasted so much of my youth not acting young, not taking risks and instead being afraid. It's time to change that. Part of growing up, anyway, is learning to do the scary things in spite of everything. :)

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  75. Great post Zoe! I'm glad things are better for you:) I have had some anxiety/panic attacks, but probably about 4 in my life so I can't compare to how you must feel, but I can relate to this. I am overall a positive/confident person but I get the little negative voice in my head sometimes too. All the points you wrote at the end are a great motivation. This whole post is an inspiration, probably gonna bookmark it or something lol.
    This is a little silly, but I thought I've always been scared of heights. I don't know what triggered it but when I was in Paris I could not get to the top of the Eiffel tower and had to sit under it. That was like 6 years ago and since then I didn't want to do anything involved with heights. But about 2 years ago we had this thing at school where we had to do military stuff, which was fun. It was just for a day and we had to do everything because the guy didn't take no for an answer. I had to do abseiling from a building.. and I guess I overcame my fear. I guess that things that just stick out from the ground like the Eiffel tower worry me, they are so monstrous haha. Also, I got some backstage festival passes and was worried to go cause I didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of the bands and was considering not going, but then I was like 'ok, just man up, you're not gonna die..' and everything worked out great, even better than expected. Thought I'd give some of my experiences too :) Whenever I'll feel a bit down, I'll read this instead of staying at home for a week xx

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  76. What an uplifting and inspiring post Zoe! Tonight i shall be saying yes to sleeping in a caravan, which usually freaks me out being in such a small space!!! Small step but a good one in my new effort to saying YES to life!!! Thank you Zoe!! XXX

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  77. This is such a great post and I'm so glad you wrote it. Anxiety is something people can struggle to talk about and get help for because they think their anxiety is unfounded or potentially a 'trivial' thing that you can't get help for. It's really sad when you start compromising on your life because there's so many amazing things to see and do. It's inspiring to see you move forward and saying yes. I really wish you all the best!
    xxx

    Nina from little nomad

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  78. This is the first blog post I have ever commented on but I found your post so inspiring and positive that I couldn't not leave a comment. I can relate to so many of the things you have written. It is as if I am reading something written by myself. I will remember this post every time anxiety comes creeping in. Thank you Zoe. x

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  79. This post helps a lot, I'm overall a really anxious person and I over-think everything. After reading this, I'm going to put more effort into doing the things I want,but am holding back on doing. You are very inspiring to a lot of people.

    Thanks for being so open and writing this post

    xxx

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  80. Until i stared uni i panicked about everything, i would always make up an excuse as to way i couldn't go out with my friends or do something new with them. Also one summer my brother had crazy panic attacks, how ever they only lasted a year or so, but watching my big brother panic to the point he would be shaking and crying wasn't nice. . . . . when i moved to uni 2 years ago, i just started to think what is the point of waisting my life being bored and scared to do anything, if i could move 3 hours away to uni where i didn't know ANYBODY, i can do anything.

    it just takes something small to change you mind round to a hole different way of thinking, and i think this blog post could be that thing that changes someones life.

    xxxx

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  81. Thanks so much for posting this! I am 25 and have had pretty much zero social life for the last 3-4 years now, and just hang out with my bf 99% of the time - I don't get to see my BFFs much cos they live so far away. I get so panicky in social situations and always need to have an escape route, if you know what I mean! People I don't know or places I don't know really freak me out - I need to have an easy way to run away if need be! I'm making baby steps, but like you I really just want to say f**k it, I WILL go see a movie/get a drink/go dancing/whatever...but people just don't realise what a big step that is for me!
    Although, I made massive progress a fortnight ago - I got on the train by myself (miracle), to go to a different city (are we talking about the same Tali?) to catch up with my friends and sister.. I went out on the saturday night and my anxiety was totally non existent! So it is possible, I guess, I just need to constantly challenge myself like you say :)
    Thanks again for the post, you don't know how nice it is to realise I'm not the only one going through all this! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  82. got me to tears. Zoe, can I send you an email to ask for a personal opinnion, please?

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    1. opinion*
      sorry. english is not my first language.

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  83. "Being anxious means you are more likely to find the negatives in any situation before the positives, and this becomes so draining. Not just for you, but for others around you. " - this is my favourite sentence from the post. Thank you, Zoe, I have been thinking about my attitute towards life recently, and there you write a lovely note on being positive. I'll do my best and follow your plan to say yes to things that scare me or I don't usually like. Have a great weekend! :) xx

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  84. Zoe, thank you so so much for posting this. Reading through the comments other girls have left and reading about how youve 'turned over a new leaf' has really uplifted me. Im currently having 'therapy' with a lady once a week to 'overcome' my panic. I usually have a full on panic attack maybe 3-4 times a week, silly things like sitting in the back of a car or going in a lift at work. Panic is such a horrible annoying thing and its such a shame so many people have to live with on a daily basis. I have a horrendous fear of being sick - see i cant even type that horrible 'v' word! Its amazing how much my fear impacts on my life, like not going to the cinema incase im sick, not eating chicken in a restuarant - incase im sick. Youve started saying 'yes' and doing things you wouldnt normally do - incase you panic. On YouTube and on your blog your such a confident lovely girl and I hope you keep saying 'yes' and ill do the same.

    Take care, Steph xxx

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  85. Brillant post Zoe. I've recently come to find I've been getting really anxious after having my baby, like where I stress out at even going for a walk with her in a her pram, around the corner. I need to step up and sort it out for her if anything! Louise actually helped me loads with it too but yeah. :)
    I'm a super shy person as well, I've found this loads at events and just generally meeting new people. I'm going to try better to be a little bit more confident.

    THANK YOU FOR THIS :):)
    Hope you're feeling loads better now, and keep well! xxx

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  86. This is an amazing post and has really put a positive spin on my day. I struggle from anxiety and it has been hitting me so much lately that I am suffering from weekly panic attacks and only have one friend that I am in semi-regular contact.

    I think you are an amazingly strong woman and I am rooting for you. Definitely inspired to try and start being a Yes person, and I know I will be referring to this post when it gets difficult.

    Thank you for writing such an inspiring post. x

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  87. Beautiful post. Definitely resonates with me a hell of a lot. What a wonderful and inspiring lady you are Zoe. xo

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  88. Amazing blog post Zoe! It was such a great read and I'm so happy for you! I've been reading your blog for a while now and its nice to read about you other than all the beauty and fashion. I couldn't agree with you more. I used to be really shy and quite negative about a lot of things, but it has been more than a year now since I decided that this is my life and that it is my choice to be happy. Like you mentioned in your post, to say yes to opportunities. I believe the more you start believing in yourself, the more happier you'll be. I think because of that I've changed so much over the year as well. I'm definitely looking forward to watching your new videos! Stay awesome Zoe! xx

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  89. I did this after watching Yes Man and it's amazing what a difference it makes to your life. I don't suffer from anxiety or ever get panic attacks but before I did this I didn't have a clue how much I was missing out on, mostly from just being lazy!
    Excellent post! I'm glad to hear that you're trying to conquer your anxiety :)

    www.northoflondonblog.com

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  90. this is really helpful thank you thank you. i wrote loads of other things here about my anxiety, but i shall spare you the life story haha! x

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  91. without sounding cheesy or overly emotional, I've been suffering with certain issues regarding social anxiety and OCD (such fun things :P ) and I'm doing exactly what you said you used to do ... sitting on my own instead of going to the pub where i was invited to go. I just hope I can find the same strength you've clearly found in time for my third year at university. Thank you, more than you probably realise, you're an inspiration xxx

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  92. First of all I admire anyone with the technical skills to put anything up on you tube in the first place.( Ido have a you tube channel and a blog, blog occasionally blue moon type of consistancy and you tubeing well I have no idea how to upload) Also by the amount of people who also you tube and have anxiety disorders also surprises me...However
    my point you are amazing young lady who is extremely articulate and intelligent.
    Sometimes you have to let the Demons come, let the wave hit as some people say. The day I did that, never looked back.
    However I do reccomend Bachs Rescue remedy on occassions.
    Thank you for an amazing post that will empower more people than you will ever know..

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  93. Brilliant post Zoe! Having suffered from anxiety/panic so badly that I actually had to drop out of high school, I totally relate. Just being in a car or on the train can make me so uncomfortable that I'm willing to open the doors and jump out! The only way to improve it really is to just go ahead and do things. My favorite motto came from my dad: "Do it anyway." The more you just so things anyway, the easier they become and eventually they do not bother you quite so much. It's easier said than done, but it CAN be done and it will change your life! Thanks so much for sharing your difficulties as I suspect they are more common than most think. Keep up the good work!!!

    www.MakeupGuineaPig.blogspot.com

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  94. Me and my boyfriend actually decided to be more 'yes!' people the other day, for totally different reasons but hopefully it will result in the same outcome of a more fulfilled life. We've been discussing the future of our jobs and where we live for a while but, frustratingly, were never able to decide what we wanted to do over the next few years- so we chose to pick something and go with it. We said a big fat yes to moving cities, moving jobs and getting a new home. In order to make the most of the time left before we move, we've been saying yes to every chance to see our friends, something that we probably don't do enough as sometimes we're horribly lazy and just choose a night in on the sofa rather than a night out. In just the week or so since we started, it's already made a difference and I'm so pleased we have.
    I've never experienced a panic attack so can't fully appreciate how terrifying they are, but from reading yours and others posts I know how dreadful they seem, you must be so proud to be overcoming that fear and knowing that you're in control, not the anxiety, must be amazing and totally liberating.
    This was a lovely post to read Zoe :) xx

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  95. Thank you so much for writing this post Zoe! I have been really anxious lately after I had the worst year of my life in year 10 - I was bullied which deflated a huge heap of my confidence - I mean I was never the most confident person, but I really went into my shell! I then became so petrified of things like exams that I made myself so ill over the first part of my GCSEs. This summer, I've been sat here petrified of going back to school and having to do all my GCSEs this summer! However, reading this has really inspired me to get over it! Reading about you and reading the comments left, I have realised I am not the only one who feels this way and I've realised how much of a burden being anxious is! As of september now, I am turning over a new leaf to, I'm gonna go into year 11 with a fighting attitude and get those GCSEs I want! Woooooo! Thanks Zoe! I hope it works out good for you and everyone reading this xxxx

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  96. Aa what a lovely post Zoe!

    thebeautymist.blogspot.com

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  97. This is amazing Zoe! I started a new job 2 months ago which involves a lot of phone calls, up until this point during my training my colleagues were doing the big ones for me and didn't push me into doing my first big call with a candidate until I was ready which I really appreciated (I feel very anxious when phoning someone I don't know, so much so that my chest gets those red splotches, i stutter and shake...and im usually a really confident person). Well this week I had to do my big call, I had already scheduled it with the candidate for wednesday, done my preparation with my colleague who was very supportive with how genuinely scared I was! The candidate didn't pick up due to sudden meeting, so I had to do the call on Thursday...but I felt like i'd broken a big barrier and then after I was thinking...what was I so scared about? It's a simple phone conversation to find out a bit more about the candidate and their experiences...nothing could possibly go wrong, it's not a test!

    In terms of going out, I usually find if I go to something I really really didn't want to go too...it ends up being a great day/ night. Thank you for this post it's really inspired me! xxx

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  98. I have to say that reading your post made me a little bit disturbing. Probably because of the fact that - once again - I feel like a dumbass. I never had real friends in my life. I am literally spending my day with working, coming back home in the evening and being all on my own in my bedroom. I never go out with friends - cause I have none. I never do anything extraordinary because I am just too afraid of doing it.

    But I am pretty sure this will never change. This is also one of the reasons why I started my blog. Because I like to get to know new people. Maybe even becoming friends. I am hoping to find someone who can be my best friend. Most of the time I feel like I don't fit in.

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    1. Pretty much the reason I started blogging too. Let's be friends :)xxx

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    2. "I never had real friends in my life." Me too, people just don't understand how it's difficult for us :/

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  99. Zoe!!! What a beautiful post. You were the first blogger I found writing about panic attacks when I first began my quest to recovery. To see you write such a positive and inspiring post now is so motivating. It's funny how we can grow so fond of someone we see snip its of through their blogs or vlogs, oh the beauty of technology lol.
    I know you get loads of responses from hundreds of girls you've touch through the years on the internet but I must let you know that I'm one of those girls. You have such a genuine and lovely way about you that is uplifting really. I follow many other youtube and blog personalities but you are my favorite because I can relate to you so much, not just with this but with your quirks and sweetness. The friendship you share with Louise is just moving and deep and hopeful. Those kind of raw and uninhibited friendships are really hard to find. It has reminded me to stay true to myself and not lose myself through trying to please others or fit in. At times its been lonely but staying true to oneself is priceless. I hope that we have helped you as much as you have helped us through those bump in the roads. Even though lending yourself to the public eye of the internet and may have encountered the energy suckers that are haters, there's also a supportive community that does share a connection with you. I wish you better days and that this "yes" state of mind stays forever!! lol.
    Thanks again Zoe.

    Kind Regards from the states :)

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  100. This is a really great post! Now that I'm reading you, it makes me realize that I suffer a bit from anxiety as well... Since last year (around october) I began to think about death. And I couldn't stop imagine how it would be to feel "nothing". It happened like that, for a second I had a revelation that some day I won't exist anymore... At the beginning it made me really scared, but then I started thinking about it every day. I even thought about it today. It's a weird sensation, my heart beats really quickly when I think about it. So I'm glad to read about your fears and solutions, and I'll try to apply what you said. This post is so inspiring for me.
    By the way, I'm sorry for my bad english ;) I speak French (xx from Belgium)

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  101. I suffered depression and anxiety for a few years. Before this I was the loudest, most outgoing, confident teenager at school and around peers. Although I no longer feel depressed the anxiety is still there and the whole thing has made me so shy that I say no to so many things (even walking by myself through the tiny town I live in freaks me out a bit), I worry that because I'm so shy people will think I'm rude/stuck-up or just a bit weird. I hope that I can build up a bit of confidence to say yes to more things. Thank you for writing this post, I think/hope I will take some inspiration from it. x

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  102. What a lovely post Zoe! I'm just about to start uni and this will definitely help me out A LOT as I can feel quite anxious in unfamiliar situations. It's so inspirational that you are being so positive regardless of your anxiety. Just saw that you're almost at 25,000 followers and after this post, I think it's clear why. You are AMAZING Zoe :) xx

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  103. This is such a lovely post! I have never suffered from panick attacks but the more I read your post the more I understood that I avoid most of situations because I'm scared. Fear always stops me from talking, from taking part in events or even going out, it's so bad and I look like a shy person when I'm not!

    At the end of the post you said "Say YES to something you wouldn't normally say yes to, and let me know in the comments what it was" and well, I just said yes to my new flatmate when she invited me to a festival haha! I'm so happy I did now :) Thank you!

    Daria xxx

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  104. It's funny how, as you describe, can be more challenging than anything. I've spend most of my life saying no, because I've been too scared to say yes or just do something. I even had a period where entering the bus in the morning would make me so scared that I'd consider doing it, more than twice. I really think it's great you speak openly about it.

    xx, Natascha
    http://littleprettyyou.blogspot.com/

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  105. This was beautifully written :) When I was younger I was so much less likely to do things that scared me. I've since then changed, and now I'm much more adventurous, outspoken, and willing to do new things. There's a certain kind of satisfaction you get when you accomplish something that you have not only never done, but something you've feared doing. XO

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  106. I love this Post! Having recently been diagnosed with anxiety myself I know exactly where you are coming from. I'm perfectly happy to stay at home and not do things, but recently I was put on the transplant list as I'm waiting for heart and lungs, and they told me I had to carry on living my life. I kind of realised I haven't been living my life at all really so it was kind of my wake up call, so now I've been planning things to do that I normally wouldn't. I still can't be really spontanious because I have to let my doctors know where I'm going if it's far away from house but I'm doing much more things that before I wouldn't have. I'm actually going to London, on a train, by myself for the first time in October to see a friend which before I know I would never have done.

    This post is really wonderful and I commend you for trying to get others to sa yes to more things :-)

    Stacie xoxo

    http://stacie-lifeisworththefight.blogspot.co.uk/

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  107. I have to say that I would never though you have some anxieties. You seem to be a very confident person. I don't know why but this post really made me feel better ;) I though "If Zoe says say yes, then I'll do". I think that we must try new things everyday but we must be sure that we want it and nobody tells us to. Thank you Zoe for this post. I'm sure that many people will find it really helpful as much as I did :) Whenever I feel sad or depressed I'll read it again and again till the smile will appear on my face!
    Love you Zoe, don't ever change and be the great person you are!

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  108. I realy love your post, a lot of my friends an myself experiance this continious problem. It should be better when we just say yes. I'm trying to do this for a couple weeks and it realy makes me feel better. Looking forward to your next post xoxo


    http://evenbijkletse.blogspot.nl/

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  109. For someone who is extremely shy and just about to start Uni this is a great post. I watched Penelope the film the other day and they had this quote that I think is so good... 'Its not the power of the curse but the power you give the curse' I think that it applies to so many different things and especially this post. This is really great and thank you so much xxx

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  110. This is an amazing post and I've written so many that are similar to this! I've suffered with anxiety for a few years now and couldn't go to high school but now after turning 16 I've 'said yes' to going to my local Sixth Form College and I feel great about it, it really is worth pushing yourself for good things! :-) xx

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  111. This is an amazing inspirational post! I have slight, mild anxiety and this post has made me feel so much happier! I will definitely read this whenever I feel anxious :) xx

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  112. Great post, I am shy, and unconfident, and this post has motivated me to do more with friends, and go out more!

    Lauren,
    Laurensbeautydepartment.blogspot.com

    xx

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  113. Such a great and inspiring post! I'm really shy and it keeps me from going out doing things and meeting new people. I have thoughts that everyone is judging me when in reality its just my own negative thoughts. Hopefully, I will get up the courage to go out and truly live!

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  114. Thanks for this post Zoe, I really needed it :) So inspiring xx

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  115. I love how this post is so uplifting. I definitely turn things down far too often, I really should change that and stop worrying so much!

    xxx

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  116. This is probably going to sound really strange seeing as I don't know you personally, but i feel oddly proud of you for sharing this. Although I myself don't suffer from anxiety I do often find myself saying no to something I probably should have said yes too. You are an inspiration to so many people and your blogs always have such an honesty and positivity to them which make it so i can't help but go away smiling, so thank you! xx

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  117. I wouldn't usually comment because I'm a french-speaking girl and my english isn't very good but I thought I would make an exception for this post. I wanted to thank you for writing this because it's the first time I feel like I'm not the only one in this situation. Some people know about my anxiety issues (I'm on antidepressant medication since I was 11 - now I'm 23) and they think they understand but actually it's not totally right. I feel like you can't really understand it if you don't struggle with it every single day. They know I am an anxious person but they can't imagine that I'm afraid of taking the bus to meet a friend or go shopping... For me, little things like that are worse than tests and exams: I just finished my 5 years cursus at university and for an exam, everyone is anxious and panics, but for those little daily things, noone thinks it's an issue you can struggle with. The problem is that it keeps me from being well integrated into my group of friends...
    Anyway, this post really inspired me, so thank you for reminding me all of this, I kind of lost a little bit my way because of the new life I'm facing and the unknown of finding a job, a place to live, etc. Thank you for making me feel that I am not alone.
    Greetings from Belgium <3

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  119. Awwwwhh!! Well done Zoe!! Its such a nice post! even though i dont have anxiety i do panic sometimes! This was inspirational to me! You are AMAZINGGG zoe!:)xxxx

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  120. Thank you so much for sharing this with us Zoe! It makes me feel a bagillion times better just to know there's other normal, lovely people out there that suffer from the same things as I do, often I just feel like the biggest weirdo ever! I'm starting uni in a few weeks and I've honestly had the worst anxiety about it for the past year, sometimes I feel so sick I just want to say I'm not going, even though I really want to. This has helped me realise I've just got to say yes and do it, and nothing horrible will happen to me if I do. Lots of love xxx

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  121. Lovely post. I really relate to you!

    www.betsyboat.com

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  122. You are an inspiring person, Zoe! Thank you so much!

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  123. Thank you Zoe!

    I have suffered from Anxiety my whole life. And i've let it ruin alot of possibley amazing memories. I fear going places i've never been, meeting people I don't know and so much more. I can pick something out of what most would call a normal situation and just get myself sick over it. I am so happy to see I am not the only one, I feel so alone sometimes and hate myself for being the way I am. Tommorow im going to be brave when I have to face an issue that in the past would freak me out. Sometimes I just hate it because I don't like the un-known, Or feeling out of control.

    I can be strong! Zoe I don't know if you believe in God or not which is fine.
    But i've found that this verse to repeat over really helps

    "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

    ~Emily
    http://thechiccountrygirl.blogspot.com/

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  124. Zoe this is such a good post, I feel the same way as you and always turn things down to avoid feeling anxious! I'm 31 and felt like this a few years now (I used to be a real party animal!) it's nice to know that you're not alone and people can help by just sharing their fears. Thank you for sharing this post, you've made a lot o people feel more positive! xxx

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  125. This post has really made me feel like I can do a lot more. Just recently my friends told me I should start up a youtube channel of me singing because they've heard my songs and covers and really enjoy them. I still have anxiety attacks about performing but I think gradually with help and positivity (this post especially) I will overcome those and make the people who believe in me proud. I would love it if you would watch them and let me know your thoughts? :) You are a real role model Zoe and I really enjoy watching your videos and reading your blog posts! :) XXX

    my youtube channel:
    http://www.youtube.com/user/GeorgiaMaeMusic1/videos

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  127. Ahh Zoe this is such a lovely post! Although I put myself forward as confident, I'm always worried about stuff and get really nervous about putting myself out there. Glad I'm not the only one, and really impressed that you're liberating yourself from those tiny worries that seem so big when we give them attention! :) x

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  128. Fabulosa post Zoe, I've been pushing myself to take risks and try new things this year in general and have felt much happier and 'me' than ever before, strangely. So pleased that you're shaking off the anxiety, lovely! xxxxx

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  129. Am i the only one that got really emotional about this post? i feel like such a sap, haha.

    But thank you for writing this post, because its honestly boosted my motivation to do things.
    Im supposed to be applying for uni at the start of september, well, start looking at uni's, and last night i sat there and had a panic attack at the thought of moving away from home. I got myself in such a state that the only way i could get myself to sleep that night was to think "right, well it looks like im not going. Oh well" but i know thats not ok. I want to go to uni, i want to do well, and i cant let mind control what my heart wants.
    I see youtubers vlog when they're in london on tubes, alone, and they seem perfectly happy and the thought of that scares the actual shit out of me. (excuse my lanuage)but after reading this post, and hearing you getting on trains to see your friend it made me realise that maybe i could get on a train/tube by myself.

    like you, i love snow patrol, and i should definetly take a tip from that song.

    You really are so inspirational writing such a personal post.

    If you can do it, we all can do it.



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  130. Great post! So glad you're feeling better enough to do more things! You are going to reach many,many grateful people...how's that for an accomplishment? I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts.

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  131. What a great post ! I think your anxiety and the problems you've had to face in life have made you a stronger person.
    Love your blog and videos ! You are amazing ! xxxx

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  132. i dont suffer from depression or anxiety but I'm just ridiculously shy and negative. You have literally slapped me in the face from this post. Think i needed it and i will say YES to anything that i would normally say no too. Us Zoe's have to stick together :) thank youuuuuuu plus your amazingggg :) xxxx

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  133. Amazing post i can understand this very well I don't have panic attacks but i do have severe IBS sadly since i gave birth to my son, most people don't really understand IBS and just think you need the loo but it's so much more than that. It's took a massive grip on my life and now im incredibly anxious about everything, sometimes the bus can trigger an attack so i get taxi's everywhere however when i simply can't afford one and have to get a bus i find myself having to convince myself for about half an hour just to simply leave the house and walk up to the bus stop. Me and my partner can't go out for a meal and the last time we did i had to leave basically everything on my plate and when the waitress asked if anything was wrong i was so embarrassed i made up that i was pregnant and had a bit of morning sickness!
    Before my son i use to say no simply cause i was shy, now looking back on it im angry i didn't say yes cause nothing would of happened to me but having fun. Now i say no to basically everything cause im scared i'll have an attack out in public. I do try and make myself do certain things for my son though, this illness may have a powerful hold over my life but i wont have my son missing out because of it too. It may sound silly cause i don't personally know you but im very proud of what you have achieved and that your trying to change your look on life. Im also terrified of sick and anxious around drunk people so i will try and avoid situations where i would have to face it, so well done! I wish you all the best xx

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  134. thank you for writing this! it really helps me xx

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  135. Such an inspiring post Zoe!! I am about to start college and I can feel myself getting anxious and nervous before the day even arrives. I am definitley going to try and say 'Yes' to more things as I normally turn things down because I don't know anyone who is going! You such an inspiration!! :) xx

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  136. This is really brave post and congratulations!!! I know how hard it can be. I had family problems and sort of recoiled in to myself because I didn't think I could trust anyone to talk about it and it has really affected me and I am trying to fix that. Since moving back home it is getting easier but this gave me a confidence boost :) thank you.

    Lots of love xo

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  137. This is a great post Zoe, very motivating. just reading the title of the post i thought of the film "Yes, Man", I'm yet to read the book, but i'm gonna watch the film again now! You're an inspiration, i do often say no to things that scare me and never sure why, i should say yes!
    Thanks Zoe! :)
    xx

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  138. This is such a great post...it's great that you have approached this topic, as sometimes it's easy to feel like you're the only person experiencing the feelings you've mentioned! I've been given a push in the right direction after reading this :) Thank you Zoe! x

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  139. Zoe this has inspired me so much! Thank you :) I will definitely be saying yes to things more often! <3 x

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  140. i absolutely love this post, because i can relate.. i was suffering from depression, because i said one 'yes' to a really big thing.. 3years ago i moved around 1500miles away from the place i was born in and at first i hated it and that's the reason that caused my depression, but if i really think about it, it's been the best time of my life.. i've learned so much in these 3years and if i hadn't moved i would never learn what i have because of moving.. also because of my depression i was anxious, i still am and that's why a lot of times i don't say yes to a lot of things, that might make me happy in the end, but your post has inspired me and i will try to take the risk more often, as it made me realise that even if you take the risk and at first you may regret it, but in the end it will make you happy ((: much love from http://cuntsnorlax.blogspot.co.uk/

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  141. Thank you for this post it is very inspiring, I'm a shy person too and get anxiety.

    http://perlaxmakeup.blogspot.com/

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  142. Dear Zoe

    I don't really suffer with any of these things, have had a few situations.. this post made me realise that I have turned things down, just because of other people or because I was scared.. And I regret those things so badly! I have a huge problem with other people (being my parents, my family and friends) thinking I can do things, that I don't think I can. So I don't do them because I fell like it has to be perfect (I think they ekspect that I do perfect... they don't) it scares me so.. I turn things down, I crie for stupid reasons.I turned art down, because I was scared of meeting new people (strange, because I'm quite out there.. actually alot, but it scared me) This year I'm going to join the art school in my town. I stoped dancing ballet because I had a mean teacher, I dance on my own now.. and i LOVE it. I stoped dancing other styles because I had an emberesing moment, I do it on my own and in front of my family and friends.. and every time they tell my how good I am.. it makes me happy. So YES i have turned a few things down because I was scared, but I'm getting back to do things i LOVE. Other people do effect me, they can tell me to change and I will, they can tell me to do dum things I will. But that is going to stop. I will stop thinking so negative, turning things down because I'm scared and I will start to do things that scared me before.

    I WILL SAY YES, even if the pressure on me is high (or i fell it is, or i'm scared)

    THANK YOU ZOE. thank you for being so sharing and helfull. Every time you put something up (youtube, blog, insagram or facebook) it makes me happy, you are a huge inspiration!

    Sorry for being all over the place, and for the bad english (i'm danish)

    + I have done all things on your check-list (- the first one because I don't say NO all that often)

    Love Lotta

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  143. Thank you so much for this Zoe, it was just what I needed to hear and I'm sure I'll be re-reading it again and again. I hope to gain some strength and courage and confidence as time goes on and I think (hope this doesn't sound patronising) you should be really proud of yourself, it's not easy having and anxiety and it must certainly not be easy writing about it. Having dealt with some not-so-fun issues lately, as I'm sure you can relate, I need to keep in mind that life does go on and it's up to me to make it good again :) thank you so much again, I hope you see this :)
    Katy xo

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  144. Zoe, thank you for this:) the posts and all the comments after have been so helpful. I'm in the no phase at the moment as I have anxiety, bad IBS and fear of sick. I am trying hypnotherapy and will let you know how I get on:) I need to say yes more and be brave. As you can see...you have inspired lots of people and use your blog in such a positive way. Thank you:) emxxx

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  145. wow thanks!

    This had made my day, we really do only live once so we got to remember to live every moment

    http://thepescetarianpantry.blogspot.co.uk

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  146. thankyou for writing this zoe, i suffer with anxiety to the point where i dont like planning events or leaving the house and meeting up with people, and even going to school makes me feel anxious, its ridiculous how much anxiety can affect a person, but tomorrow i have made plans to meet up with my friends, im feeling anxious about it, but i feel like i dont care anymore and im just going to try and do whatever i want! and i know i need to realise nothing is going to happen! anyway, well done for turning over a new leaf in your life! you should be proud! all the best :) xxxxx

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  147. Thank you Zoe for posting this. I have social anxiety and always think that I should push myself out of my comfort zone, but never do. It's nice to hear that you're doing so and in the process enjoying yourself! You should be proud and I will definitely try to take a few leaves out of your book and say yes more. x

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  148. ......................................................
    SOO true!, that's the kinda think I like to hear!
    'Do one thing a day that scares you' :)

    please read and follow me!
    http://loraphilp.blogspot.co.uk/
    ......................................................

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  149. Kisses from Poland Zoella! I love you!!!:*

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  150. I developed agoraphobia this January, it changed my life a lot. Although I have anxiety I also have a chronic illness (chronic fatigue syndrome) so I don't go out or do things a lot but when I got this anxiety it was awful. Looking outside even brought on a panic attack! I have been doing this a lot recently due to it being the summer holidays, I thought to myself 'why should I sit inside for 6 weeks upset and lonely?!' my biggest thing was going to Liverpool to meet Louise (SprinkleOfGlitter) and it was a MASSIVE step for me as I got agoraphobia after going there. The reason I went was because you said Louise helps you with your anxiety and I just kept telling myself that, if I was having an anxiety attack she would understand. I've also been seeing my friends more and just making more of an effort with them and I must be honest, you have helped me a lot. After I read your post about anxiety I felt so much better and you've helped me a lot so thank you so much. I'm glad you're doing this. xx

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  151. I recently decided to start saying yes myself too. Having finished university and knowing I was going to have to start living in the "real world" I realised that it was NOW or never - my anxiety HAS to go or I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life.

    This is an excellent post. I think all us anxious ladies know this is the truth deep down but sometimes, what we really need, is to see someone else, someone else, who knows what it's like to tell us it's the truth.

    I'm glad you had a good time at the festival! I hope your new yes saying skills bring you many more excellent memories.

    Emily Jane xo

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  152. So inspiring! In fact, you were the one who convinced me to start a blog. I even started a tag today! I love the whole message of this post.

    www.fairylightsandotherthings.blogspot.co.uk/

    ;-)

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  153. This has totally inspired me and from now on i'm going to be taking advantage of new opportunities x

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  154. Zoe, you are the best. And thank you.

    Xo Saar

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  155. Thank you so much for this Zoe! You have no idea how much you've helped me with this blog post <3

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  156. such a good post, and totally agree with what you've just said!
    x

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  157. Hi Zoe!! I think what you just posted is so inspiring!!! I personally don't suffer of Panic attacks but I always had problems with my self esteem, and it is very weird because I don't usually have low self esteem, but I do have some days I feel sooooo bad about myself! I say no to many things because I'm scare of how I'll look in those kind of situations.

    You inspire me! You are one of the reasons why I started blogging and you encourage me to say YES! More often and to more things!

    Wish you the best of luck always and forever!!!

    xx

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  158. Thank you so much for this post, it has really changed the way I think about things. I am generally a very shy person and turn things down without even thinking about it. unlike you I don't suffer from panic attacks but get so worked up about the most stupid things. In the future I will just relax and live in the moment! hahah! thank you again :)

    please check out my blog I am just starting out and it would mean a lot! <3
    sashamarie101.blogspot.com

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  159. This post has really helped me to believe in myself more. Recently I have been told by my friends and various people I have met, to make a Youtube channel of me singing covers and my own songs, as people have really enjoyed them. I still have anxiety attacks about performing but I think over time with help and positivity (this post in particular) I will overcome those fears. I would be really happy if you were to watch my videos and let me know your thoughts! :) You are a role model Zoe :) XX

    My Youtube channel:
    http://www.youtube.com/user/GeorgiaMaeMusic1/videos

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  160. This makes me soo happy! I am going through the same thing!! I take only online classes because I am so anxious to get called on in regular classes. Last week all my friends planned a party for my 21st birthday (i live in the states so this is a big one!) and I got all ready and...stayed home because I had a panic attack. Your post really helps!

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  161. a very inspiring post

    xx

    http://ravingbeautyx.blogspot.co.uk/

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  162. Lovely inspirational post. I'm a person who always goes for 'the safe way', no matter how much i want to do thing and step out of my comfort zone. It's like i'm completely brainwashed and i automatically say no to everything. Which sucks really badly and i already missed out on so many things in life, which frustrates me even more. So about 2 months ago i've made a to-do list for myself, with all the things i want to do in life, what are completely out of my comfort zone. Sounds pretty crazy if i think about it, but it really helps. And always when i'm about to say no, i think twice before answering and just say yes. Because life is simply much more exciting when you just say yes once in a while and you feel so much more satisfied with yourself. (:

    Lovely post Zoe! x

    http://bravebrunette.blogspot.com

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  163. I totally just bought the film Yes Man today! There's a plan for tomorrow!:) Oh and I've got that dancing around in my bedroom well and truly covered..

    I decided to go to Moot adventure camp in a couple of weeks even though the person I will be sharing a tent with is someone I don't get on too well with. I don't see why someone else should spoil my chance to have a great time and do some things I've never done before! Thank you Zoeeee, I'm gonna make a conscious effort to jump right in there and make the most of every opportunity! I love you <3

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  164. Oh my gosh Zoey, when you said: "I want to be more positive about things. Being anxious means you are more likely to find the negatives in any situation before the positives, and this becomes so draining. Not just for you, but for others around you" you just described myself and this post is the best I've ever read. I don't know, it's so good to know that I'm not the only one who feels like, axious all the time... I have to confess anything: I cried reading this, seriously, THANK YOU! "Do one thing a day that scares you" is exactly what I need to... My life is so boring because I'm always in my confort zone, aka at home and on the internet, that I don't even have friends :/ I just promised myself that right now, things will be different. And hey, I'm proud of you! (It's so good to hear/read it from someone, isn't it?) Keep brave, I'm here to support you, even known that you don't know me and we'll probably never meet because I live in the other side of the world, but I just wanted you to know that :) Thanks one more time, I love and admire you so much <3 Thanks, thanks, thanks xx

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  165. Hi after re-reading your post from last year on panic attacks did you ever get private CBT, if so did it help in any way? (:

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  166. What an inspiring post! Well done :) I started saying 'Yes' to more things once I read 'Yes Man'- great book! x

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  167. This is such an inspiring and generally lovely post. New favourite song, by the way! I've been wondering recently if I've made decisions that I wouldn't have done if I was more confident- but I'm going to try and not get to that point anymore. I'm ready to say yes!
    Cheesiest thing I've said all day, but I love it.

    Katie xo,
    www.beautdaily.blogspot.com

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  168. I definitely think at 10.40pm it's a bit late to be dancing around to the song, but I'd just like to comment on what a lovely post! I'm definitely one for sticking to my comfort zone and hate routine to be disrupted, so little things like this are just great. Well done for what you've achieved so far with saying yes!
    xx

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  169. i definitely find that my fear of the unknown holds me back from so many fun and exciting opportunities, thank you for this post zoey xxxxxxxxxxxx

    http://catsandcurlers.blogspot.co.uk/

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  170. Got a feeling that this post will be one that will stick in my mind for a long time, I hope so anyway. Such inspiration to LIVE the only life I have. Enjoy all your 'yes' escapades, Zoe :)

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  171. I'm so glad I've read this blog post of yours, because recently I've been contemplating whether to do something completely out of my comfort zone. Now, I'm definitely going to do it. I now know it's the things in life you don't do that you regret :) xx

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  172. For as long as I can remember I have had a very large phobia of dogs. A lot of people don't understand why/how, and I can understand that. I don't even know why really.. It's stopped me from doing a lot of things, I wouldn't go to a sleepover in fear of them having a pet dog, I wouldn't go on a family trip to the beach in fear of there not being a 'No Dog' policy. The other day my family got invited to a garden party.. And when I got asked if I would like to come along, my immediate thought was dogs. Would people be bringing there dogs with them? Would there be lots of dogs? Would they be allowed of there leads? I decided, like you have done, that it was stupid to hide away from the world just because there may be a dog around the corner, so I said I would go to this party. And I had an amazing time! There was one dog there, but he didn't come near me the entire time.. At times I was anxious about it, but overall it was a great day!xx

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  173. I instantly thought of the film 'Yes Man' when i saw the name of your post - how funny to get to the end and see youve included it! I suffer with panic attacks too - I have to go down to London next year for a 4 day exhibition and although im lookinbg forward to it in some ways - im also terrified of getting the train there from where i live, staying in an unknown place for 4 nights and being on my own. Ive considered not going but Im forcing myself to do it because i know in the end, ill thank myself and ill be glad i went

    I can relate so much to this post, Zoe. I'm exactly the same - im often the one sat alone at home whilst my friends are out in town (im terrified of drunk people throwing up around me too)! and i hate being in unfamiliar places. Its good to know its not just me who feels like this and youve taken the words right out of my mouth with this post - i found it really inspiring and its something i will be trying to do more often from now on

    thankyou for this post beautiful girlyy :)

    lots of love xx

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  174. This is so relevant to my life right now it's unreal. Thankyou xxx

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  175. I also suffer from anxeity issues and am currently sitting at home watching tv after having made up some ridiculous excuse so I didn't have to go to a work party. You're so right though. Today I handed a notice in at my current job and it took me two hours to work my way up to telling the manager. I kept thinking about all the ways it could go wrong and agonising about what to say to him and in the end he was ttly fine (as any normal person would be). I worried so much and in the end all that happened was everybody told me how much they were going to miss me... I completely understand the thing you were saying about getting a train to somewhere new. New places drive me crazy. On my way to a new place I'll be obsessing about where to go, what to do, who will be there and if theyll be looking at me, judging me. When I'm just about to enter a new situation, even if its just a restaurant i've never been to, my eyes water and I feel as if I am a nudge away from breaking into uncontrollable tears. I have to remind myself to breathe and remind myself that everybody goes to places that they aren't familiar with. Last year my anxiety got so bad I couldn't be anywhere that was up high for fear of falling. I couldn't climb stairs in the local mall, it was so embarrassing. The only way I've managed to control my issues is to run frequent and often. Running is a form of stress relief and I love the endorphins and the feeling after that I've worked hard and I should be proud.
    I really admire the way you write about your issues here. You're right, some people just won't understand how something that seems so simple can be such a big deal! I'm glad you're so open about it. It's really refreshing :). Anyway, I hope this comment didn't get lost in the sea of comments but I just wanted to take the time to thank you for the posts you do on this subject. It really makes me feel as though I am not alone. xxxxxxxxxxxx

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  176. Thanks for such a positive and inspiring post - sounds like you are doing so well and it really is such a confidence boost saying yes to things. I have been trying this year to say yes to more, so I can experience different things and am really enjoying it. Like you say how can you make memories if you don't experience anything.
    Lianne x
    rubyrubyslippers.blogspot.com

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  177. Very inspirational blog post! After coming back from a recent holiday where I said yes / did things I wouldn't normally do (including being in a very small carriage very very high above the ground) I decided that when I got home, I wanted to do more things! I have been saying yes a lot more lately and am loving not just bring at home all the time. I have suffered from anxiety in the past and had a couple of mild panic attacks last year - and even now before going places I can still feel the anxiety start to creep up inside me. But now I have learnt what helps me to make it go away (always having water near me, and having a very supportive boyfriend!) and I feel comfortable doing a lot more with my life!!

    alittlebitofthis04.blogspot.com.au

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  178. (Sorry this is long, but I just had to write this, I've never written on here before =S , but I can relate to pretty much everything you wrote)
    Hi Zoe, I know a lot of people have already written this, but that really is inspiring and a good kick up the butt! So, alike most of these other replies, I also suffer from anxiety, it's shocking to think that you’re not the only one (lol) because sometimes it feels like you are. Although I don't have the same anxiety as you, my main anxiety is a fear of choking (amongst many others). It sounds so silly to say that "fear of choking" but it seriously scares the pants out of me, to the point where I think I could choke to death. Nice huh?!? If you met me you'd probably never know though, but that little anxiety devil voice is pretty much always there when I don't want it to be (cinema, car, clubs…). Mine all started when I was about 15 too (I'm 20) with assembly’s at school, you know the whole hundreds of people surrounding you where it's unbelievably quiet. Eek! I used to get all hot and fidgety sitting at the end of my seat ready to bolt.

    But anyway, thank you for writing that, I will definitely re-read it when I'm feeling low and try to 'say yes' more often, although it's tough trying to convince yourself that you'll be fine, It's good to remember that you're not the only one. Xx

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  179. Such an amazing post. I've suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember and it all stems down to a fear of fainting. It used to be so hard for me to even leave the house as I was scared that I would pass out and something bad would happen to me. I started having counselling when I was 16 when my mum actually started to realise that it had become a massive issue. Since then, I've tried to live my life as 'normally' as possible and be positive and do things I might never have said yes to a few years ago! Yes, I still get the odd panic attack, but I now try to keep myself calm and remind myself that it will end soon, they always pass eventually.

    It's so lovely to read that other people feel like this too sometimes. It makes me feel less abnormal and reminds me that we are all human and all capable of feeling these things.

    Thanks for this post xxx

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  180. This is such a wonderful post Zoe, one that I find easily to relate to. When I was a little younger I was extremely confident, too confident. I would yell things out in class, crack jokes at inappropriate times, I was overall just an annoying kid. And then one day my confidence shriveled and I developed Paranoia. The paranoia itself then leads into severe states of anxiety. I worry about the smallest things, about my life, future, decisions, things I say and do. It's torturous, I don't WANT to worry.
    I have seeked professional help for it and I did come good for a little while. But more often recently I'll find myself in a situation where I'm enjoying myself and my paranoia and anxiety will creep up on me, I feel like it's constricting my breathing. I'll be no longer happy, but consumed in anxiety.
    This post, however, has opened my eyes. And for that I have to say thank you Zoe, for not only sharing your personal stories but actually caring about your subscribers and helping us.
    x

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  181. gerat post. you give me such a big inspiration after recovery of my depression. I hard to deal with it but at least I feeling much better than before.
    3lin

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  182. Thank you for this post. I suffer from anxiety, and possibly OCD and I have said no to many things because I was so afraid. Thank you for this, it made me feel so much better.

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  183. I said yes to going paintballing a couple of months ago. Big mistake. Wouldn't recommend it. But at least I know to say no in future!! xx

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