Photo taken from weheartit.com
This isn’t the typical type of post from me today, It’s a somewhat controversial post, that I hope plenty of you can sink your teeth into (do not bite too hard, this is not a debate).

Let me start by saying that I am 5ft4″ and weigh 7st5lb (if you are unsure of these measurments, by all means convert them yourself) and have been the same height and weight for 2 years. Before I hit puberty, I’m pretty sure you would have taken one look at me and said “She is WAY too thin”, and let me tell you, I was. I was 5ft4″ before I even sprouted boobies, hips and bottom and I looked HIDEOUS. I would look in the mirror and despise what I saw.

“why don’t I have boobs like my friends do?” “why do all my bones poke out at every angle?” “where are my hips?” “why am I so skinny?”

I absolutely HATED it. I’d also like to point out, I in no way, shape, or form have ever had an eating disorder, those of you who know me, will know I eat whenever I like and whatever I like. Even then, I ate like a normal 14/15 year old girl. Pizzas, Burgers, Chips, Mcdonalds, Fizzy drinks. I ate no less than the average kid…yet why was I so incredibly skinny? The answer here is simply “Metabolism”. My metabolism is what i’d like to call “super metabolism”. For those of you who don’t know what metabolism is, it’s basically a chemical reaction that happens in all your living organisms to help maintain life, in non scientific forms, the rate at which your body burns calories and breaks down fat. Having a high metabolism means that it is impossible for me to put on weight, and maintain it. My body breaks down fat and burns calories at a stupidly fast rate. Now I know for a fact, that many of you will be reading this thinking “Shut up Zoe, I’d absolutely LOVE to have a high metabolism”..but let me tell you, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Whilst going through my teen stages of being a skinny bean pole, it had serious affect on the way I saw myself and the way others saw me. It’s pretty steriotypical that the fat kid in class doesn’t want to get into a swimming costume or be seen getting undressed for P.E, or get bullied or called names. I felt exactly the same way. I hated having to go swimming as people would point and stare at me for being so skinny, I’d hate having to get undressed and I did get called things and when I tried to put on weight, it was absolutely impossible. It also made me feel like crap. Think the reverse of a diet. I was essentially eating shit, crap, fatty foods to try and put weight on, therefore feeling groggy, tired and miserble.

You always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever really thinks of that.

“Are you anorexic”, “you need to put some weight on”, “You are a bag of bones”, “why are you so boney”, “why are you so skinny”, “get some meat on your bones”, “are you okay?”

All this you would kind of expect from curious school children, but what astonishes me, is that people still ask me these things. People I don’t know. Quite strange as I now have boobs (of a generous size), hips, and wobbly bottom (yes, it wobbles…Just being honest haha) and I have filled out quite noticeably. Yet people still think it’s okay to say these things? Would you say these things to someone who was noticeably larger than the average person?

“Are you obese?”, “You need to lose weight”, “You are a big bag of fat”, “why are you so fat?”, “You need to get some meat off those bones of yours”, “Are you..okay?”

No. You just wouldn’t would you. So why is it acceptable to ask a skinny person questions of the same criteria? Do you think it doesn’t affect them the same way it would someone who was fat?

I was at the doctors 2 days ago, getting my prescription contraceptive pill, and as a standard procedure every few years, they weigh me, and check my height; just so they have the most recent details as possible. I had a different nurse than I normally do, and she made me feel really awkward and a bit, down. She measured me fine,

“Oh, 5ft4, yep, you’re exactly the same height”.

But when it came to weighing me, she made me feel very uncomfortable.

“When was the last time you weighed yourself? Recently?”
“No, I never weigh myself”
“Okay, well, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to weigh you, you don’t have to look”

Now I felt confused. Why wouldn’t I want to look? I don’t care what I weigh, but this nurse clearly thought I did.

“No, it’s fine, I don’t care about looking”
“Okay great…just step on then…hmmm”
“What?”
“You’re the same weight exactly”
“Oh really! Okay”
“Yeh…are both your parents very skinny?”
“er..yeh they are actually”

She was now looking at me with concern.

“Okay, well, your BMI is lower than it should be”
“I know, it always has been”
“Oh okay…well, keep your eye on that”

I then walked away thinking, “had this been someone with a BMI that was slightly over average, would she have asked the same questions?”, would she have asked “Are both your parents fat?”

I hate that we have a BODY MASS INDEX, that we must all live by? Who decides what BMI we should be anyway? Who cares if i’m “slightly” below average, who cares if you’re slightly above it? As long as you feel happy in the skin you are in, is that not all that matters? Yes, I may seem smaller and skinnier than the average person, but I’m happy at the moment. If I put on any weight (which is impossible for me to do anyway) I’m almost sure it would all just go on my face and bottom. If I was to exercise, I’d be even skinnier, which as a result, means I’m incredibly unfit. Seriously, I’ll run up a flight of stairs and need to down a litre of water and catch my breath for 5 minutes. How bad is that?

There are still things I absolutely hate about my body, and they won’t change. I hate my hands. Who wants boney, old lady, veiny hands? haha. I also hate my legs, It’s pretty impossible for me to put on weight, but for some reason, any weight I do carry, is everywhere BUT my legs. Skinny little ankles and shapeless legs anyone? I am however, much more content with the way I am at the moment. I still wish I could be a little bigger, but I have the joy of being able to scoff a whole tub of ben and jerrys and not have to worry. Trust me though, my skin and organs probabaly do not appreciate this, and I’m very unhealthy. You won’t ever catch me eating a bowl of salad or nuts & raisins. I am almost sure my metabolism will not stay this way forever, it will all catch up with me, and then my decade of eating rubbish food, and having little exercise will probabaly result in me waking up and being 10x bigger. Think “Shallow Hal”.

I recently got upset by someone I hardly know, in fact they may aswell have been a stranger, approaching me and saying “Zoe, you are SO skinny”. For a start…how the hell do you even respond to something like that? I think I just stood with my mouth open, wondering what on earth made it okay to say something like that? What was going on in this persons mind? I eventually just walked away. Sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to do. This person then returned to say “You need to put some weight on..no seriously”. C’mon? Really? I was firstly very embarassed, and secondly gutted. Would this person have said the same thing to a fat person? Nope. Because calling someone fat is seen as an insult, but calling someone out to be too skinny…is apparently acceptable? I think commenting on anybodies weight is unnaceptable. Who are you to judge someone by the size of them?

“That person is fat, they must eat nothing but mcdonalds and sit on their arse all day”
“That person is skinny, she probably has an eating disorder and needs help”

It’s really not fair. Nobody ever takes into account genes, metabolism, bone structure, medical problems. There are thousands or reasons people are how they are, and why people are the size they are. The above statements may be true in some cases, but for the majority, it’s probabaly not.

So, is calling someone skinny really acceptable? Or, do you agree with me that it’s just as insensitive as calling someone fat? As as naturally skinny person, I can tell you that it’s not very nice being called out for being “too skinny”, especially as i tried so hard to put weight on, and wanted so desperately to be “of average size” as I was growing up. It’s a bit of a touchy subject but one I wanted to address. I get a weird amount of people asking me my height and weight, and a part of me thinks they are trying to suss out if im underweight in a very sly and kinda creepy way. So now at least i’ve answered that for you…weirdos. ;)

Moral of the story here though, is that I don’t really think it’s ever acceptable to comment on anybody’s weight, skinny or fat. Why should you ever be allowed an opinion on someone else’s body or way of life? You can think it in your head, but the minute you open your mouth it becomes very dangerous, that is of course unless you are opening your mouth to give a compliment, by all means do this. haha. If YOU are happy with the way you look, that’s all that matters, and if you aren’t, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know you will make you happy.

Everybody is different, and nobody is perfect. It would be a very boring place if this wasn’t the case.

  • Rachel

    Hi Zoe. I am really worried that my weight doesn’t match my body as I am quite skinny (nobbley knees, boney hips, just yuno..a bit boney), but what I don’t understand is that I weigh 8stone! I don’t feel the need to do much exercise apart from what I do in PE. But I can’t seem to understand why I am fairly skinny but weigh this amount. By the way I am 13. xx

    • Emma O’D

      How tall are you? That could be a reason why you feel as though you are fairly slim for your weight.

  • Amy

    hi. okay, so i’ve had an Instagram account for a while now, on where i am anonymous so no one knows i’m me. i use it to explain my feelings and let out the emotions and thoughts that i can’t tell anyone in person; but yeah i guess i am one of those quotey accounts. i love going on there and posting and looking through other peoples (like me) posts. However, i have been struck by how negative we all are about ourselves and other people. We are all trying to reach the perfect weight or size; but what is that? What goes through our minds that makes us believe how insecure and so set on it all: the media itself. Most of the time people behave the way the way they think they should and the way they have seen others behave, and sometimes people comment because they are paranoid, paranoid that the person they are talking too will also create the same eating disorder or paranoia, and they would to check and check again that everything is fine. other times people do it to try to get the other person to switch the question and ask them. That last one is me… constantly helping others see better in themselves but hating myself at the same time, with no one to help me. The essence of the media is tricking us and i don’t know what to do… i need someone to ask me for once.

  • Khaiden

    HELLO ZOE!! Everything you have discussed I completely and utterly agree with, it is like you stole those words out of my mouth because that it is what I constantly think. However I am a guy and things work a bit more differently for men that have this issue. I have always been so thin and it hasn’t been easy to live with the constant remarks on my weight from all people including my own parents! You think they wouldn’t care but apperently they do…😒👌. I have been called anorexic and accused of doing drugs by “friends” which really stabs me in the back. As a guy there is a constant feeling to be big and muscular and just to look “manly” in general but it is hard to look and feel like this when it is nearly impossible to gain weight and maintain it. It is quite the struggle you see. So I wish there was just some people in society that would recognise men as feeling this peer pressure to look and feel masculine and the anxiety that comes with it. But I might be ahead of myself. Do you agree with this?
    And to the people in the comments you don’t need to change but I completely agree with you if you want to seek change in your appearance because we all should have the right to look like as we please, girl or guy. And thank you zoe for this post and the video you made with Louise, it really helped me in knowing that other people shared these issues. BYE!! 👋👋

  • Mia

    Hi Zoe, I’m not skinny (at all haha ) and I worry about my image far too much! I’m trying really hard to lose weight ( by running etc ) but this made me realise how many people who are skinny feel the same way as me – unconvident, insicure etc it’s made me feel like I’m not alone:) thank you xx

    • Rainbow Unicorn

      Seriously, I bet you are not even that big.

  • Clo’s Blog

    I completely agree with this Zoe, 100%. Well done for standing up against everyone and helping others out with the same thing. This is why your my role model xxxxx

  • bob-le-nutella andouillette

    first of all, I wanted to say I completely agree with this article. but I don’t know if it’s because I’m from a different country (I’m french) or for something else, but here no one ever called me names because I was too skinny or anything (1,73m, 50kg). It is true that when I was 14 some boys made fun of me because I had no boobs (and still don’t), but it was only once. It did bothered me a lot back then, but I just know it was because I was such an easy taget to make fun of. Otherwise, people are mostly impresse (well, if they even bother noticing I am skinny) as I can eat as much as I want.
    What I want to say is, there will be always people making fun of you, for a reason or an other, but being skinny doesn’t have to be an issue, and personnally I am proud of how I am and accept my body as it is

  • Adriana Tarri Vajová

    Hi Zoe,
    I am 13, and I past anorexia. I tell you I have very skinny friend Vera. She always want to gain weight and I was jealous that she has so fast metabolism. She is so skinny, so perfect. She is eating more than me even if I am eating normal. (before anorexia and after). And because I want to be like her my restriction started. I weighted (sorry I dont know past tense of word weight :). I dont know english very well) 10s1p and my high is 5´ 7´ or 171cm.
    My mom said that: “You wasnt fat, you was pretty skinny.”
    Me: “But my friend has faster metabolism than me!”
    Mom:” But you are not her!”
    But I want to be. So I start with hard sporting, fitness and this whole stuff. I ate less and less and my weight was 7s8p which was BMI: 16.5 for me. I was liing to doctors, parents, granny, auntie that I am fine but I wasnt. I was killing myself and I know hospital is the next step. So I started to eat. I eat pancakes, ice cream, water melon, apples, potatoes….. I started to gain weight. I was so happy cause my bones still looks like I am anorexia girl but I born with it. Now I am happy and healthy ( when I lost weight I lost also period and I colapse for about 4 times plus my breathing was very hard to do that) and I know this is the weight that I should have. Actually it´s 9s0p and my BMI: 19.5. Now I read this and I cried. A lot. I never think about how Vera could feel when I told her skinny skeleton or I want to change with you. I really know how to be skeleton (actually in bad way) and I am telling you. You are not skeleton Zoe. You look healthy and that is that thing that you need to know. I thought that I will be healthy even if I am going to weight so low. But I wasnt. If you feel good with your weight you are fine. And I totally accept your opinion with BMI. It is important when you ´ve got problem like me. But if you are healthy and happy it doesn´t matter how big or how low your BMI is. I know some people just born with fast metabolism and they are very rare. You are very rare Zoe. I love you. :) <3
    P.S. I love your book.
    P.P.S. I wrote this to you cause this post open my eyes right now. And I past anorexia I could help people who have trouble with loosing weight. I think I was stupid because I could ruined my whole life. Dont do the same wrong that I do.

    Your fan Aďka

  • Sydney :)

    Hi Zoe! I am 4 foot 7.5 (every .5 counts :)) and I weight 55.5 lbs. I was born with a growing disorder called Russell Silver Syndrome and I am super short and also super skinny. On my bus ride home from school one day this girl was asking why I was so skinny and if I had an eating disorder. I was upset because it’s not my fault and I try to gain weight just like you did by eating all that crap. I feel like people judge me all the time. Also I’m 13 years old and just starting to show slight a bit of boob (barely anything). I have not yet really grow to much. I have bone hips, super thin legs (I’m very insecure about them) and thin arms. I always feel so small around other people. In pictures I always look so thin and super short compared to my friends. The worst part is that both my parents are really tall ( 5 foot 10 and 6 foot 2 ). I am also a triplet and when I stand next to them I feel like I’m not even the same age as them. Its a terrible feeling. Being so small and fragile limits a ton of sports that I would like to try but my parents don’t want me getting hurt. Also clothing is a big problem. Somethings are so baggy on me. Your blog really helped and I related to you so much!

  • Pinky

    Hi Zoe,
    I am really short and more than a head shorter than most of my friends! I always feel selfconscious because I’m so short and i don’t have any boobs where as most of my friends do.I have been trying to put on lots of weight because my BMI is apparently too low (according to my doctor), but my weight always goes on my hips making my body look uneven. I am saying this as i know that there are other people who are self-conscious about their body need to know that they are beautifull! Thank you so much Zoe for making this post! I think it is really nice to know that you when through the tough times as well as many of other people!
    Thanks again, Pinky, xx( Im 13)
    P.s- keep a look out for a letter that i am about to send you!

  • Megan

    Hi Zoe, me and one of my very best friends feel the exact same way all the time. Some comments are really nice but calling some one skinny is an insult. Finally some one feels the same as what we have been saying through the whole of high school. 😊 xxxx

  • Amaris Waltho

    Hi Zoe, I just wanted to say I understand most of what you say I’m 13 and just entered year 9 I’m 5ft5-6 and I weigh 7st and a bit, to me honesty hips are slightly wider than some other skinny girls but not much because I have quite a small waist I have different weight proportions to though my thighs and legs have a nice is curve shape and thin ankles, sadly I have shortish legs and a longish torso. Because I’m mixed race I have naturally light tan skin and curly hair but I still have long piano hands, I have a strong super metabolisms and I get offended slot when some girls try to pinch skin on my back then say I need to gain weight… It’s my life and you inspire me to look at myself and say “I’m okay” I might have smaller boob’s than my friends and I’m in a situation where I don’t fit in an A but a B cup is slightly to big I have a bubble butt and people always say they envy me… But I always say if I could I would swap because you’re perfect and trust me your gonna miss it. (σ≧▽≦)σ
    Thx

    • Tessa

      I promise you’re very healthy. You’re only 13 which means you have a lot more growing and developing to do so you will get curves don’t worry(I weighed exactly the same at your age) I now weigh 7.11 stone but I’m a lot shorter than you and 17 but trust me you are very healthy :) xx

  • KATIE moore

    Hi Zoe I’m 15 years old and I have a low BMI and I’m so glad to hear someone knows how I feel in class the boys call out who has the figure of a twig and then look at me and laugh and the same as you I probably eat more rubbish than most people I am 5.8 and I have long legs so it looks worse! Today one of the boys pushed another one of his friends into me and I bump my head they don’t realise that I am much weaker than them and it realy hurt I wanted to cry! But I just want to say thank you for helping me to reply to them horrible questions and I adore your blog and YouTube channels xxxx

  • Lady

    I know you’re unlikely to see this, but I wanted to sincerely thank you for this post an the video you made on the subject. I’m 15 and going through the same thing. I’ve always been super slim. I’m 5’4, and tiny everywhere. I can never find shoes that fit (I finally was able to get my first pair of heels, but had to put things in them so they wouldn’t slip off) and clothes shopping is awful. Thankfully, my mom knows how to alter clothing.

    But the things people have said to me ring in my ears every time I look in the mirror or wear a swimsuit. When people imply, or even just plain ask if I’m anorexic, it hurts more than they seem to think. I mean I get that they mean well, but it’s uncomfortable and just confirms how I think I look to others. I’m beginning to fill out a tiny bit, but my body is certainly taking its time. Reassurance that I will fill out, knowing I’m not alone, and a reminder that everyone is built differently is extremely helpful. :)

    • Bex Gaffer

      OMG!!!!!! I get the same questions from people and feel the same way xxx

      • Samanta Rizzi

        Me too! Sadly, the people don’t think before they speak. Hopefully that changes soon. Every size is the right size, if you’re not dealing with some health issues. Have a nice day, ladies! ;)

  • Gwen Hammett

    Hi Zoe, I am 15 and I get asked this question by many people…including one of my so called “best friends” who always points out my small bum and boobs by making fun of them constantly. I was a sort of chubby child when I was in primary, not over weight but slightly bigger than most of the girls in my class. When I moved to secondary school I had a growth spurt, like any normal teenage girl would and naturally that ‘chub’ distributed evenly across my body. I was happy with my figure even though my boobs where small and I didn’t have much of a bum. All my friends would say things like “I would love to have your figure” “your figure is amazing” etc. Then when I was 14 I noticed that I started to get a bit more weight on the bottom of my stomach. For some reason this really bothered me so I started to cut down on my portion sizes…unfortunately because I was quite a sporty person and did a lot of exercise (and still am) so I dropped a lot of weight. Luckily my mum and athletics coach noticed because I looked hollow and sickly in the face. I got back on track and fortunately I wasn’t anorexic. Like you, I have a fast metabolism which meant it has been quite difficult to put the weight back on. I am now back to my normal weight but still don’t have big boobs haha. But even though I’m my normal weight and is healthy some people still seem to think I’m under weight, even though my doctor has proven otherwise. It really bothers me when people call me “skinny” because I feel like I’m not ‘womanly.’ Especially now in the media everyone seems to like curvy. I feel like people look at me and think that I don’t look like a girly girl because of my small boobs and bum. It never used to bother me but recently I’ve been self conscious of my appearance because people point things out that I never thought about before. You probably won’t see this but I just wanted you to hear my story and how I can relate to your blog post. No one should have to feel ashamed of their body, whatever shape or size they are! xxxx
    PS: your videos always cheer me up when I feel like this :)

    • Rainbow Unicorn

      same here ;)

  • Helena

    Hi Zoe! I just wanted to let you know how inspirational this is to people of all sizes :). I’m on the taller side (5’8″) and I always used to feel uncomfortable with my weight. I don’t weight much for my height (120lbs) but always significantly more than my shorter friends. Reading through this really helped me see everything from a different perspective! Kudos on everything, keep up the good work :)

  • Bex Gaffer

    I love this post because I can totally relate I’m 14 and I’m not even 5 foot yet and I have size 3 feet. Reading this post always makes me happy and makes me realise that I’m not the only one feeling this way and that there are others who are small and slim(not skinny)like me. Thankyou Zoe!!!!! You have made a massive difference in my life and I’m so glad I found your video with Darcy on my recommend section. Love you and never change xxxxx

  • simplyella

    dear zoe,
    i get picked on at school because i am a bit fat i am only 9 years of age i also suffer from anxiety

    • Alisha

      It’s OK, don’t listen to any of them who insult or pick on you. The only reason they do this is because they are jelous of something you have that they haven’t. There is not an ‘average size’ and therefore it is important that you are who you are don’t try and change that. I hope this helps x

    • Rainbow Unicorn

      Poor you. I am 11 and I used to have that problem until recently (like November time), but luckily I didn’t get anxiety. But magically, I had a few massive growth spurts: one in May time (I grew two inches in a month), and one in November time (I also grew alot then!) I understand how you feel; it is really horrid. I hope those bullies stop. Now, I am having another growth spurt (it aches my arms so much -even carrying a book hurts them) Just ignore the bullies! They’ll soon stop!!

  • Alisha

    I feel exactly the same way. I want to really thank you so much for this post as I am 15 nearly 16 and have the height and weight of a 9 to 10 year old (my 10 year old brother is nearly the same height and weight as me!!) My height is 4″10′ and my weight is 6 Stone 3 . When I was younger it didn’t find it so bad, but now being a teenager with all my friends going through puberty, and me well still looking like I’ve just stepped out of primary school it’s very difficult for me. I was very insecure about my body, I never have liked to go swimming or do any sport really because it means that people will have to see me in skin tight clothing or see me in a way i don’t want them to. I also suffer with several health conditions that limit what i can do and how i go about doing day to day activities, these conditions mean that i can’t do certain sports, therfore meaning that i can’t put on weight.
    This has really made me feel better about who I am and has made me realise that it’s not how we look, it’s who we are on the inside. 😊 . Thank you again Zoe this has helped me so much. Love you Xxxxx

  • Nikki

    Hi Zoe, I realise that this is a very old post so I’m a bit late to the discussion but I thought I’d add my two pennies worth anyway. Obviously it is unacceptable for people to cast judgment on anyone based on their physical appearance and I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had such negative experiences in the past. I clearly don’t know the exact circumstances of the interaction, or the tone in which things were said but I do feel perhaps in the case of the nurse you may have taken it the wrong way. As a medical student I have some experience of how health care professionals are taught to handle certain procedures. Rightly or wrongly, we are taught, and the media unfortunately seems to perpetuate, that weight is a sensitive issue that can make some people very uncomfortable. This, coupled with your comment about never weighing yourself, is probably what caused the nurse to react in the way she did. Instead of not weighing yourself because you don’t particularly care, she may have thought that you didn’t want to know so was trying to make you more comfortable about the situation. I have had the exact same thing said to me at the doctors and I’m definitely not “skinny”! I think it’s just one of their routine phrases. In terms of asking about your parents, I think she just wanted to make sure that there was unlikely to be underlying pathology to cause a lower weight, since it could be accounted for by your genetics. Finally, being advised to “keep an eye” on a measurement that is on the borderline of an expected range is not uncommon at all. Whilst you are unlikely to do so, if you happened to suddenly lose enough weight (perhaps through illness) it could have serious knock-on effects, e.g. dampen down your immune system (more prone to getting infections and wounds taking longer to heal), thinning of bones (more brittle and prone to fracture) and even stopping your menstrual cycle/infertility – obviously these are not nice things to happen so it would be almost irresponsible of her not to mention it. I hope this makes you feel a bit better – I wouldn’t take it so personally next time, although I know that’s easier said than done when it’s concerning an issue that you’re/”one is” sensitive about. I’d say, when it comes to size it doesn’t matter what number it is so long as you’re healthy and happy! Anyway sorry for the long comment and thank you to anyone who actually read down this far, I hope you’ve found it useful! Best wishes

  • Lottie’s Life

    OMG! I know just how you feel I am crazy thin and I am literally scared of myself I mean I have Pizza twice a week I eat chicken etc. But I am still stick thin. At least I now Know I am not the only one…

  • Rachel

    I’m 5’9 and 9st but as soon as I do any exercise I drop down to 8.5st. I’ve been between this 8.5-9st for at least six years now. At the age of 22, I find it hard to believe I’ll ever change. :( Most people don’t say anything but every so often, the same people will comment how I’m not eating enough. At the moment, I’m on a really healthy diet because I was really sick for a while and I also found out I was allergic to a lot of foods. I had hoped that my allergies might have been the reason why I couldn’t put on weight but unfortunately, it didn’t seem to make any difference. Before that however, while I was in school, I drank coke and some form of chocolate every single day. I also went home and had four or five biscuits with tea. Every day. Besides that, I seemed to eat more than any of my friends, yet while I stayed skinny they all got curvier. Sometimes I really hate myself, but other times I try to love the way I am and most likely, will always be. People act like we’re lucky but whenever I go out on nights out with my friends, most of whom would be shorter and usually a size 12-16, they are the ones who get noticed by lads. They’re the type of people that clothes are designed for. So it’s not like there are any advantages to being skinny. I would never comment on someone else’s weight because I know how hurtful it can be. My own brother, who knows me, feels the need to tell me I’m too thin on a regular basis. :'( I too hated swimming in school because everyone would look at me in disgust…actual disgust!

  • Natalie Newman

    I’m 24 and this is everything I’ve always felt and never known how to put into words. Thanks so much, Zoe! <3

  • Alexandra Evangelia

    Zoella, I know this is from a while back. But I was watching some of yours and Louise’s old videos. And, I absolutely related to this as well as I’m underweight and I feel very self-conscious because everyone says “You’re so small”, “You’re so skinny”, “Are you anorexic?”. And this to me is offensive and it makes me feel horrible because even my family does it, and tells me that I’m starving myself, when in reality I just have a greatly high metabolism. Let me just tell you that I’m 14, I’m 5’0″ and I only weigh around 83lbs. I don’t really have curves or boobs, nor a “great” bottom. I really try to gain weight though, but whilst I do this I still gain nothing. It feels better knowing I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I am trying to work towards a weight that I’m happy with. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories and showing your support. I hope everyone has a very nice day!

    • Rainbow Unicorn

      Seriously…. I’m way younger than you and the same height and a similar weight and they say I’m healthy.

    • Lauren

      I know right? Its so difficult! :( <3

  • alisha khan

    Hi Zoe I think the people that comment on people’s weight are bullies. They judge you by the way people look, and that is really nasty. So you haters just back off, ok.(btw I’m 11)

  • mollie copeland

    I think the same being fat. I can’t help it as I am disabled. I have Asperger’s Syndrome (a type of Autism) and I am missing something in my brain that tells us we are full so I over-eat without relising.

    • Lauren

      You look pretty tho :) <3

  • Amelia

    Zoe, you are such an inspiration for me. I often feel insecure because of my weight and people at my class often make fun of me for having a skinny body. But I feel way better now because of this post:)<3

  • Emily Gwin

    Zoe, I know this is a fairly old post, but I really would like to make a comment.

    I am 14, and for years I went through exactly the same thing. It was more prominent when I was around 9 or 10. My ribs protruded inches out from my body, I was completely flat chested, and I looked very pale and ill 24-7. My own sister would say things to me like “you look anorexic.” and I didn’t understand why. I also have a very fast metabolism, and I still don’t eat very much- which isn’t by choice, I simply get full very fast.
    The kids in my class would throw me around and toss me from person to person, just because I was so tiny. It wasn’t that I didn’t work out either. I was (and still am) a competitive dancer, and I danced around 7 hours a week. I was (and still am) also an intensive ski racer, and trained every weekend from Christmas to March.

    I am trying to make a change. I don’t want to get “big”, i want to get fit. I now do upwards of 14 hours a week of very hardcore dancing, and as I already mentioned I am skiing. I am so happy that I’m not just that sickly little girl anymore. I’m tall (i’m 5 foot 7), and still lanky, but I have lean, strong muscles. I’m proud to say that I can challenge every boy in an arm wrestling competition ;).

    If you are reading this, I just want to make sure you know how much better I feel about myself now that I am able to call my self strong and powerful. I hope you feel this way as well :)

  • Cat x

    I know you probably are not going to see this but I can’t help but comment, I have just spent ages reading and rereading this blog and I am amazed that anyone else can feel the way I do. I am the skinniest in my year group and at Primary I used to get bullied about it. I’m 12 and tall for my age too, sometimes I find this even worse because I have to get clothes for thirteen to fourteen year olds and they’re far too baggy. This blog has made me see that I’m not alone and I am so thankful for you putting it on. I have been shopping and my friends always say I have anorexia or diabetes type 3 (which doesn’t even exist) and although they don’t know it but it does hurt.
    Can’t thank you enough for this! xx

  • Ashleigh

    hi zoe, my name is Ashleigh, im 13 and i live in wiltshire. Im am definitley not underweight, in fact, im a little bit overweight, not that much, i fit into most 13-14 size clothes (childrens size) i dont look that overweight but i certainly am.

    There was a time when i was extremely unhappy about it. i was so ashamed i wouldnt go outside, or even get dressed because i just didnt want to look at my body. i was even considering suicide at one point. im very lucky i didnt go ahead with that one, or i wouldnt be here right now, writing this. i used to envy pretty, slim girls so much, and i just thought that being called “skinny” was a compliment.i just thought that skinny=good. fat=bad. i didnt even think about what it must be like for girls that are being called skinny by people like me.there are people experiencing exactly the same things as i did, slim and curvy.

    i remember dreaming that if i had 1 wish, it would be to have a flat stomach and look “skinny” i just used to watch your videos all the time just thinking and thinking of ways i could loose weight and look like you. i tried diets, juice cleanses, only eating kale and even starving myself. i starved my self for 9 days only living on 5 pieces of kale a day before i passed out and went into intensive care. i had anorexia. i thought anorexia only happened to “skinny” girls and i thought it couldnt be right. “im not skinny, how could i have anorexia?” i thought. maybe while i was unconscious i had lost weight and become “skinny” but that was not the case. i was exactly the same weight as before. i realised being “skinny” isnt the answer to happiness, being comfortable and proud of your body is.

    i still think sometimes i need to loose weight. i even have family telling me i need to. i sometimes think to myself, what even goes through their minds when they say stuff like that? when they know what i put myself through to try and loose weight. they are my family for goodness sake. why do they even care about my weight? why cant they just love me for me? i would understand if they said that to me if i was extremely obese, and had not tried to do anything about it. But i just got so angry i didnt talk to them for 7 months until they apologised. Even my mum once called me obese on my birthday infront of all my friends. i just had enough. i decided to go and live with my dad because he experienced weight issues before, he doesnt mind my weight, that im a little bigger than the other kids. he still loves me unconditionally. Even though i am only young and still exactly the same weight now, i have found my happiness. And if your an unhappy person reading this, if the answer is so simple, stop putting yourself down. why make yourself so unhappy when the answer is easily fixable. you are beautiful no matter what anyone thinks. the only thing that matters is if you love yourself. once you do start to love yourself, you instantly feel better. happiness is different to everyone, you just need to find what yours is. i

    if you have read this really long paragraph, then first of all, thank you, and second of all well done. it was really long! i hope you have found my story helpful in anyway, if so, im glad to have helped. there are lots of people suffering the same sort of thing i did, and usually the answer is very simple. Find your own happiness. Love Ashleigh xxxxx

  • Lorraine Desmond

    Hi Zoe
    I’m super skinny and worry about it quite a lot. One time I was trying on some clothes and I came out to show my friend but she was picking up some more things to try on so I just waited outside the dressing room. While I was waiting a complete stranger came over and said “are you okay”. I didn’t know what she meant but before I had time to reply she said “you should get help”. i just stared at her with my mouth open. I turned around and went into the dressing room. Now I never go into dressing rooms anymore.

  • angie

    Oh Zoe , just read this post for the first time and I can relate to you so much! Family gatherings are terrible. And, once in my 15’s (now I’m 22) I went to the hospital , I don’t remember why exactly, and they measured me. My measures are like yours. So they asked me how I eat, and I said about everything, normal amount, and my mum complemented me saying that I did enjoy lettuce (I do. It’s a family thing) . They sent me to a psychiatrist, with eating disorder suspition. Found out later, because other symptoms, all I ever had that time was mononucleosis. Oh, and the psychiatrist told me , “you’re fine, why did they even sent you here?”.

    These days, I think of the amount of food I eat, and the pizzas, burguers and fatty stuff without putting on weight and I kind of feel good about that . But as you say, my skin and organs must be mad at me sometimes. And my female friends hate me.

    I reached a point where I feel comfortable about my body, and I do enjoy wearing tiny stuff and having tiny feet, and when people reach me about my weight , I just say to them “metabolism” and “It’s great isn’t it?”

  • Alexandra Roberts

    You are beautiful the way you are! In fact, I am soooo jealous of your body. I am 13, (btw, I come from a tall family) and weigh 67kg. I keep going through phases where I say, “Ok, I am going to loose however many kg in however many months.” But then I can’t stop eating fatty foods every now and then. So anyway, you are perfect the way you are, so stay that way xxxx

  • Kirsten Earles

    I was the girl who was slightly above normal weight and everyone wanted to be my size. then i gained 40 pounds and have stretch marks.. everyone says ‘what happened to you?’ i feel ashamed, so i work nights to hide from people.. words like that stick with me.. now i know im not alone.. thank you zoë.

  • JustAFangirl

    Zoe It’s horrible people can be so inconsiderate..but what you MUST understand is that most people would KILL to have your figure. Being skinny is way more socially acceptable than being fat. That’s why people don’t realize that they may be upsetting you. We have been brainwashed into thinking that skinny=good and fat=bad. So you can always be sure that the people who insult you are just jealous. Really, you are very lucky. Being a bit underweight is NOTHING compared to being fat.

    • ginie

      Not trying to be offensive, but being underweight is not healthy. I went through a eating disorder and I’m still really skinny and bony from it. Everyone goes “oh you have such a great figure I’m so jealous!” It’s not like that.

    • Lauren

      Being underweight is actually really stressful :(

    • Bella Brunton

      i totally agree! X

  • Rainbow Unicorn

    I’m not even fat but I’m so heavy. Its soooooo annoying!

  • Kat

    Hi Zoe, I am going through exactly what you have been through. I don’t have any friends because of my skinniness ( don’t know if that’s a word). Constantly having people ring in your ear ”why do you nearly look like a skeleton” ”Are you anorexic?” ”do you have an eating disorder?” Every day I would go home and cry, cry and cry because of my appearance. I am 15 now and still have no hips or boobies. And for me to got to school and be stared at and whispered about is a really hard thing. Even if I eat a burger king, KFC or McDonalds I stay skinny, and I know it is good to be skinny but not as skinny as me. Especially because I have scared kidneys I have to got to hospital 24/7 and even the nurses and doctors say ”are you really that skinny?” ”your bones stick out” it’s not nice to have that as your life. You should not be treated like dirt because of your appearance. To have negative experiences now is Crap but as I get older I hope to sprout boobies and get hips and also friends :).
    You’re not alone you can always have someone to chat to
    Lot’s of hugs
    Kat xxx

  • sxharx

    I to face the same problem, I’m 14 years old and I have such bony wrists, knees, elbows and back. I hate wearing t -shirts as it shows it off, I feel so insecure about it but it’s impossible for me to gain weight. I always get family coming up to me and asking me to eat more. I love eating and it’s all I pretty much do but my mum complains that I need to gain weight. It’s horrible, I’m also very short. If I got £1 every time someone called me small I’d be rich. I mean I guess it’s something I have to live with.

  • Taylor Skinner

    Oh my goodness Zoe! I agree with you 100%. This blog post touches me deep inside because i have always struggled with body image. I’m 14 and I’m quite comfortable in my own skin. But there where some years in my life where i was not comfortable in my own skin at all! I used to wear clothes that would cover every part of my body up. I used to be flat chested and had a “bony bum” as my gran would say. I used to be scared of clothes that would show off how thin i was, and if someone would bring up the topic of being thin, i would some how squeeze my way out of it.

    I still struggle with body image today (as does everyone) but i have grown to get somewhat used to it. I’m a bit curvier now, and have hips, i still have a tiny waist and bony bum, and I’m still super skinny. But if i look in the mirror and see all bad things at first, i look closer to try and see the good things. Like i have a thigh gap, and have pretty eyes with long lashes etc.

    So if anyone has taken the time to read this, all i have to say is, if at first you only see yourself, look closer because you will soon see how beautiful you really are, and don’t ever try to change your image for society. You do you. <3

  • Alicia Hakin

    Hi Zoe, I know you are probably not going to see this but still…, anyway I’m almost 12 years old and I’m the tallest in my class and I’m not the fittest person in the world now I know most people are going to be like your 11 don’t worry about your weight but I don’t worry about it but I don’t understand why I get called a pig or fattest person alive and I’m not really the biggest person in my class but i think its because I have hit puberty early and it annoys me that the boys don’t get picked on for weight its just the girls. if anyone else has some advise please reply xxx

    • Bella Brunton

      im not saying u r chubby but i found when i hit puberty i had a huge growth spurt and lost weight, but with some ppl its different my advise is just to quit snacking (to an extent) but don’t take it personally it reflects on them more than u xx

  • thtcherzoe

    I absolutely love this post, I’m skinny and I eat a lot, yet my friends stepmum thinks it’s okay to say I have an eating disorder?! I most certainly don’t, I eat more food than all of my friends, it’s just silly how people think that calling people anorexic is an okay thing.

  • Ocean

    Zoe, I’m 13 and I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Everyday people ask me why am I so skinny and when I’m eating where does it all go. People don’t release how much it hurts when they comment on my body and because of this I have some anxiety about what I look like. I feel different from others especially in dance.
    Thank you for writing about this it has inspired me and it was great knowing that I’m not the only one, there’s other people like me.
    It would be really good if you could do a video on this.

    -Ocean

  • Carmen

    Hi Zoë
    I’m Carmen and live in the Netherlands. I’m 158 cm and thats is a thing that i really dont like. What i also dont like is that i have got short legs and thick upper legs but since i was young i always have these legs. My upper body is just normal but the thing is people think that I’m fat and i hate that because i know that that Is not richt. I’m running and i watch my food ( i’m also rating fat things domeinen ) .People draw to quickly aan opinion and nowadays by the internet we have “rules” for the perfect body. For example: you need a big ass, big boobs, skinny long legs. I think that the internet is just make us uncertain but we make each other also certain. And how cliché this sounds we need to accept each other for inner. Every single person is built different, i have got short legs, thick upper legs, skinny upper body. But you got skinny legs and all those things and i think thats beauty starts with to accept yourself and let the world know that they are need to accept you like how you are. Zoë i also want to say keep up with YouTube, i love your videos.

    Lots of love from The Netherlands
    Xoxo Carmen

    • Bella Brunton

      i am the same as u carmen and i completely agree xx :)

  • ginie

    I do not have the same thing, but I have gone through a pretty hard time with weight. When I was in primary 6, my belly inflated. The rest of me was skinny, but my stomach seems to have grown. I was embarrassed and went through an eating disorder. I would eat almost nothing throughout the day. But the worrying thing is, I’m moving on to high school now, and it hasn’t gotten much better. My stomach has caved in completely and you can see my ribs. My best friend is really jealous and says she wishes she was more like me. I don’t agree and find this torture. I’m filling out a little more and eating more often, but my body hasn’t recovered yet.
    A TIP FOR ANYONE WITH EATING DISORDERS:
    I find that taking lots of snacks I love around with me encourages me to eat more. I take relatively healthy (but very tasty) snacks around, eat one, and find that I really want more. Just remember to limit yourself or you will got obese.

  • Marta

    I understand how awful being skinny can be.I am so skinny and I really hate it.One day,I was at school and my teacher started asking me things like ”Why are you so skinny?” ” What do you usually it?” ”Have you been anorexic?” and then my friends started talking about how skinny i am like ”Wow you’re right”.
    I am 15 and I am afraid of going to the beach because bikinis look weird on my body because of how skinny I am.
    This blog really helped me realize that it doesn’t matter how I am if I am healthy.And I do feel healthy.

    • Bella Brunton

      don’t worry that ppl judge u, they can think what they want. you are at your prime age and when ur like 35 u will think ‘i wish i wore that bikini’ cuz I am and was perfect the way am am. x

  • Chloe

    Omg this is the same as me I’m 13 and I’m asking myself all these questions X

  • stranger

    i am also facing the same situation even worse than your case zoella. i am 23 year old .i never attend any party because i feel people will look at me they will comment on me.they will say bad things about my body (as am very thin)i and actually they do all the time . i have tried all the time all the things required to gain weight but all in vain . this issue spoiled my career. every night i dream one day this will change but it is not happening. know i have only one option left in the bank to die die and die ……………….i will commit suicide . i got nothing in the world . no reason to live more….

  • Bella Brunton

    I’ve always been slightly above average on weight and I have been bullied about it so much…I would rather be skinny and self conscious because I was skinny than fat…Zoe you are so lucky, your gorgeous, your like a model…id give anything to look like you, you look amazing in all the clothes you try on/wear whereas when I try something on and I think it looks bad I literally break down and cry so much about it..I just want to be skinny, i know I’m not obese but I’d rather be anorexic than how I am…I have tried almost everything, like you but opposite, I want to lose it so badly I could die…I often think if I had 3 wishes I would wish to be skinny and beautiful first. Then I’d wish to stop poverty and so on…I don’t even know why I’m posting this comment, but whatever you probably won’t read it but if you do, if anyone does, just know that your absolutely beautiful inside and out..no matter what: Zoe you should be grateful for your incredible beauty, talent and personality as should everyone else🙂 Ps: love girl online-I can really relate to penny xx

    Bella 13

    • Lauren

      I’m sure your beautiful the way you are, its not fun being under weight or over weight, but you CAN rock you! If your skinny, take advantage of it and be happy, if you a bit on the bigger side, trust me, LOTS of people love that, as long as YOU are confide t!! <3

      • Bella Brunton

        thanks so much you’ve really helped! xx <3

  • Millie

    I’m 13 I’m 5’3 and I’m almost 9 stone. I feel so fat

  • Abbie Bainborough

    I get called names like sheet of paper ( I’m also super pale) and pancake. 😞

  • Clare Arthur

    I totally agree Zoe! It’s so rude when people call you skinny! I have been ‘skinny’ all my life and no matter what I do, putting on weight is a major mission. It just doesn’t go on. If I get sick (like the summer I got a wicked stomach bug and lost 4kg) it takes months to get anywhere near where I was. My Mum is the same, my daughter is the same. If we all just stopped commenting on other people’s weight, the world would be much nicer! Such a great post from a perspective that isn’t often talked about (My daughter and I LOVE watching Zoella and ‘Zalfie’ videos. Thank you for making the world a friendlier and more positive place )