For those who have ever felt self-conscious of their teeth, everyday activities such as smiling for a photo or wearing a statement red lipstick can feel like a battle against insecurity. Our smiles- wonky, gappy and all- form an integral part of our identity, and for those who would rather avoid looking at theirs, adult braces or retainers are likely something that’s cropped up in your Google searches a handful of times over the years. But what’s really involved in the process, how long will it take to give you a smile you feel truly proud of, and possibly more pressingly, how much will it actually cost? We spoke to SmileDirectClub– pioneers in the world of dentist-directed, dentist-prescribed at-home clear aligner orthodontic therapy- as well as deep diving into your other adult brace options to get the lowdown you need before taking the plunge….

What types of braces are available?

Metal Braces:

The more traditional type of braces, but used less so in adulthood, metal braces or ‘train tracks’ are fixed to the teeth and use constant, gentle pressure to move the teeth over time. The process works by brackets- a piece of ceramic or metal placed on each tooth- that are connected by an arch wire that threads through and is bent to suit your ideal bite. The arch wire applies pressure on one side of your mouth, and with time the tooth moves and a new bone tissue grows in behind it. Although not used in every case, sometimes small rubber band ties are used to help keep the arch wire fixed to the brackets.

Ceramic Braces:

Ceramic braces are similar to metal braces however use clear or tooth-colored brackets as opposed to grey or metallic silver brackets and wires. As a result they tend to be preferable for adult patients, however do tend to be more expensive.

Lingual Braces:

Sometimes called ‘hidden braces’, lingual braces are the same as traditional braces except they are fitted to the inside of the teeth rather than the front, making them practically invisible. Sadly, not everyone is suitable for this type of brace, particularly those with a deep underbite.

Clear Aligners:

Aligners are thin, clear, removable trays made to fit your teeth and are often preferred as a result of being less noticeable than metal braces. They also require less upkeep or dental appointments as the process is typically much simpler. Aligners work in a similar way, creating micro-movements of each tooth; however this is achieved by a series of aligner trays that are worn for a particular period before upgrading to the next tray within the process. 

Despite the individual needs of each patient impacting their specific treatment choice, it’s clear that the adult braces industry is booming, with a 2018 report from the British Orthodontic Society finding that 80% of members were seeing an increase in adult patients, up from 75% in 2016. 

If you’re thinking about starting your own journey with adult braces and are considering the route of clear aligners, bookmark this Q&A with SmileDirectClub for all you need to know before taking the plunge…

Q: First things first, does it hurt? Be honest!

“Like muscle soreness after a good workout, wearing new aligners may cause short-term tooth soreness. This is perfectly normal. It is a sign that the aligners are working by moving teeth into a straighter position. Your aligners have to put pressure on your teeth to get them moving, and that can feel uncomfortable. They’ll need some time to relax into wearing clear aligners.  

If things feel really awkward, or even painful, you might take some dental wax to the aligners, so they shift smoothly over your gums.”

Q: How far in advance should someone think about getting aligners for something like a wedding or big event in which they want to look their best?

“On average, SmileDirectClub treatment takes between 4-6 months, depending on the treatment plan and severity of a patient’s teeth. However, patients generally tend to see a difference in their smile within 60 days.”

Q: Are aligners an option for everyone or will some people’s teeth not be suitable for this process?

“SDC clear aligners are best suited for those with mild to moderate crowding and spacing issues with a minimum age of 12 years old. On some occasions, the affiliated network of UK registered dentists or orthodontists will determine clear aligners are not the best option for a patient because their case is too complex for teledentistry. In those instances, we’ll refer customers to a treating dentist in the traditional setting who is convenient to the patient. ”

Q: What are the benefits of clear aligners vs traditional braces? Is the process quicker, longer or the same?

“SmileDirectClub straightens smiles for 60% less than traditional straightening methods and the average treatment plan works 3X faster than braces. This model eliminates the need for customers to go into the office for time consuming checkups!”

Q: How do the aligners actually work?

“Each aligner is designed to gently and gradually guide your teeth into their desired position in accordance  with what you and your treating dentist or orthodontist have determined is best for you and your treatment goals. You’ll begin wearing a new set of aligners as prescribed, (usually you change to a new aligner every 1-2 weeks) advancing you through your smile journey. 

“After customers have completed treatment with SDC clear aligners, retainers are needed to maintain the smile you love. We recommend you purchase a new retainer every 6 months to keep your teeth in the desired position.”

Q: Let’s talk pricing. What is the cost of opting for aligners later in life?

“Customers have the option of paying a one-off price of £1639, or they can spread the cost over 25 months at £69.43 per month, with a £69.44 deposit.”

Q: Should those who have sensitive teeth be more wary?

“We recommend everyone have a check up with a dentist before undergoing treatment, to assess whether your teeth are healthy and suitable for teeth straightening. Customers with sensitive teeth may find the first week of wear more painful than expected, but this is perfectly normal as your teeth start to shift position.”

Q: Are aligners an option for everyone or will some people’s teeth not be suitable for this process?

“SDC clear aligners are best suited for those with mild to moderate crowding and spacing issues with a minimum age of 12 years old. On some occasions, the affiliated network of UK registered dentists or orthodontists will determine clear aligners are not the best option for a patient because their case is too complex for teledentistry. In those instances, we’ll refer customers to a treating dentist in the traditional setting who is convenient to the patient.”

Happy smiling!

Summer, you’ve been great, but you know what sounds really appealing right about now? Sleeping, without a fan on. Drinking hot coffee. Popping on a jumper. Have a cosy day indoors. Does anyone remember what these things felt like?

The weather may still be warm, but as we look towards September and the autumn months ahead, the prospect of a day lounging on the sofa after lighting a new Homesense candle whilst delving into a cinnamon-covered snack sounds positively dreamy.

If you too are fantasising about time at home after possibly the most sociable summer of your life, may we suggest some addictive new watches to fill your alone time with? From Marilyn Monroe-inspired Blonde, to edge-of-your-seat series like The Thai Cave Rescues,  Netflix really did understand the assignment when it came to their September releases. Check out the below new titles hitting ‘Flix throughout the month, and get ready to cancel your plans…

Love In The Villa, 1st September. 

Although it somewhat sounds like a reworked title of Love Island, Love In The Villa is in fact a fictional tale that’s basically rom-com heaven. The film follows a young woman who takes a trip to romantic Verona, Italy, after a breakup, only to find that the villa she reserved was double-booked, and she’ll have to share her vacation with a cynical (and very good-looking) British man. Although IRL this sounds pretty terrible and like a formal complaint email in the making, in the world of romantic movies it’s the perfect setting for an inevitable love story to blossom.

Featuring The Umbrella Academy‘s Tom Hopper and The Vampire Diaries‘ Kat Graham, save this watch for a rainy September day when a serotonin boost is top of your ‘need’ list. 

Off the Hook, 1st September

Netflix Originals hit different, and with the Stranger Things shaped hole in our heart that’s only got bigger since the Season 4 finale has been and gone, it’s time to welcome a new obsession into our lives. 

Off the Hook follows roommates Lea and Manon after realising their relationship with the Internet is getting seriously toxic before deciding to abandon devices for a full 30 days. The romantic comedy provides a much needed dose of light relief in what feels like a very intense world, and dropping on the 1st of September, the series can help you can shake your end of festival season and heatwave blues. 

Dated and Related, 2nd September

The category is *sounds gross but will press play anyway*. Netflix’s new reality TV show is a spin on the traditional dating show, this time involving siblings- get your mind out of the gutter people, not like that! The show sees 16 single contestants – all pairs of siblings – enter a villa in the South of France before going on a series of dates in front of their brothers and sisters. It’s a niche concept, but someone’s gotta do it …

The show’s title is purposefully provocative, but since Love Island wrapped at the beginning of the month the floor is open for a dating show that’s not prepared to ruffle feathers and spark some trending tweets. Drama- we’re ready for you. 

Do Revenge, 16th September

Camila Mendes and Maya Hawke aka two of Netflix’s existing golden girls (we’re talking Riverdale and Stranger Things) make a powerful duo in this dark comedy landing mid month. The film follows Drea (played by Camila) and Eleanor (Maya) as the two set out on a quest to get revenge on those that have wronged one another after following a series of unforgivable decisions made by their fellow classmates. From a leaked intimate video to a summer camp bully that needs to be put in her place, Do Revenge is a tale of female allyship through a Gen Z lens that sits somewhere between Heathers and Mean Girls. 

Directed by Someone Great writer Jennifer Kaytin Robinson and her collaborator, Celeste Ballard it’s set to include a killer soundtrack thanks to help from Gossip Girl music supervisor Rob Lowry and eldest Haim sister, Este Haim. We love! 

Patton Oswalt: We All Scream, 20th September

More light relief incoming thanks to this Netflix Original Stand-up Special with Patton Oswalt, covering everything from the hazards of ageing, who he could have been had he just followed the list he created during the lockdown and more. Filmed at Paramount Theatre in Denver Colorado, this is Patton’s directorial debut and his fourth comedy special. Add to your list when you’re in need of some serious feel-good energy and get ready to LOL, literally.

Thai Cave Rescue, 22nd September

Inspiring, heartfelt and emotional, the 2018Tham Luang cave rescue that captured the attention of the world is coming to Netflix on the 22nd of September, and it’s set to be intense. 

The story follows the real life tale of a dozen boys and their football coach who became trapped in a cave after it flooded during a sudden monsoon in Northern Thailand in 2018. The incident sparked an international rescue effort as TV crews from across the world documented the unbelievable two weeks during which the boys were trapped in limestone caves near Chiang Rai. Filmed entirely in Thailand by an international group of filmmakers, the series unravels the boys’ stories, and those of their families, over the course of six episodes. 

“I am very proud to have this opportunity to tell the stories behind the faces and names we have come to know well over the course of this world-famous rescue operation.” says Co-Director Baz Poonpiriya. Prepare to be on the edge of your seat from start to finish. 

A Jazzman’s Blues, 23rd September

An investigation into an unsolved murder unveils a story full of forbidden love, deceit and secrets, meaning this Netflix Original film has all the ingredients for a juicy, enticing watch worth setting reminders for. 

Soundtracked by juke joint blues, its story is set in post-World War II South where a young Black jazz singer leaves his rural town in search of fame. Although we don’t know much more about the plot ahead of its release, it’s set to be a memorable one having been in the works in one way or another for over 2 decades! The film was the first screenplay that director Tyler Perry ever wrote 26 years ago, with Netflix finally snapping it up and creating the perfect partnership to bring its tale to the screen. 

Blonde, 28th September

You have been warned, this Netflix film is almost definitely going to be your September obsession…

Blonde aka the adaptation of Joyce Carol Oates’ 2000 novel of the same name is debuting on Netflix on the 23rd September, offering a fictionalised chronicle of the life of Marilyn Monroe in the 1950s and 60s, and it’s set to be a corker. Following Monroe from her traumatic earlier life to her move to Hollywood and the glamour, exploitation and tribulations that came with it all, the film provides a look into the world of the pop culture icon who defined blonde for so long.  Directed by Andrew Dominik and starring No Time To Die star Ana de Armas, the highly anticipated biopic is set to be one for the history books. It’s worth noting that although Blonde is centred around Marilyn’s life and career, much like the book it is based upon, the story is considered to be a ‘reimagining’, including added creativity and fantasy for that extra bit of *spice*. And spicy it sounds, thanks to its 18+ rating and reportedly graphic sex scenes, the film is not one to watch on your commute home…

Premiering at Venice Film Festival before dropping on Netflix on 28th September, block out your diary and get a Domino’s on speed dial for this one. 

And If all that wasn’t enough, you can also catch all of the below!

1st September

Snow White and The Huntsman

This Is 40

Fast and Feel Love

2nd September

Devil in Ohio

You’re Nothing Special 

The Festival of Troubadours

9th September

Cobra Kai, Season 5.

14th September

Heartbreak High (Season 1)

16th September

Drifting Home

The Brave Ones

Santo

21st September

Designing Miami

Fortune Seller (A TV Scam) 

23rd September

Lou

Athena

The Girls at the Back

28th September

Too Hot To Handle (Brazil)

The weather forecast has you in a chokehold, the Girls’ WhatsApp group is abuzz with chaotic mentions of prosexy and sunshine and you’ve fully accepted that your bank holiday weekend will burn you in many, many ways. The bank? We don’t know her. 

Grab a friend (or a friend of a friend) with a Soho House membership and your floatiest, waft-worthy gingham dress for crying out loud, the August bank holiday is finally here. And we’ve obviously gone all F. Scott Fitzgerald on you and penned a modern-day love letter for the occasion. If it doesn’t feel like McDonald’s and BeReal, we don’t want it. 

Lay-ins. Day drinks. Peaking too early. Sunburnt shoulders. Do you want me to do your back? Booking beer gardens. Looks a bit overcast. Last-minute road trips. Carefree. Arms flung around necks. Bellowing ‘I love yous’. Immaculate outfit vibes. Making a 5L jug of Pimm’s. Blue Doritos and dip. Eating out. Truffle fries. Live music drifting through the streets. Group pic everyone! All the seasons in one weekend? Yeah, sounds like a British bank holiday. Seventeen spenny brunches later and not one of them will you remember. Wait, was that rain? *puts hand out to feel* Panic buying a paddling pool, just in case. Fry ups with all the trimmings. Does anyone have a portable speaker? Picnic in the park. Cider? May as well. Ransacking Tesco of all its tinnies. And its umbrellas. Oh, quick my BeReal’s going off. Pringles, Pringles everywhere. Impromptu bbqs. Cracking playlists. Balmy beach days. The wine fuzzies. Break My Soul on repeat. Potato salad with every meal. Obligatory family walks. Cleaning the whole house so you’ve got something to show for the weekend. Floaty dresses. Ripping into a pack of cocktail sausages. Getting all deep with your besties. Might even slop wine all over them a little bit. Sunday rolls into a sleepy Monday.Snoozing in the garden. The stories recounted over multiple croaky voice notes. The lost property pile at someone’s house. A shoe. A vape. A bracelet. Inky stamp stains on wrists. McDonald’s? Obviously. 

A strange feeling comes over you when you spot a stranger reading your favourite book. Your walk gets quicker, your upper lip might even develop a certain sheen and you find yourself peering over their shoulder, desperate for them to peel their eyes away from the page for long enough for you to start a conversation about *that* book. 

Excitable indistinct squawks ensue. 

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, A Little Life, The Book Thief, White Teeth, Normal People, Everything I Know About Love, The Secret History – we are living in the golden era of contemporary fiction; an age when Sally Rooney has us in a mumblecore chokehold and whatever Dolly Alderton writes is blindly added to our baskets without so much as giving the blurb a once over.  

Bibliophiles will understand the term book hangover to mean the feeling you get when a good book ends and moving on to your next read is considered an act of violence. You don’t know if you’ll ever love read again. However hard you try, you just can’t get over them. Personally, we’re still trying to fill the Atlas Corrigan-shaped void. Suggestions on a postcard, please. 

There are certain authors whose work is guaranteed to leave you high, dry and hanging. Colleen Hoover, Sally Rooney (obviously) and Margaret Atwood, we’re looking at you – they are millennial catnip. 

Amongst the page-turners and the Tik Tok crowd pleasers, every so often a book you thought you’d love somehow misses the mark and off to the DNF graveyard they go, leaving you feeling cheated of the 5-star read you were expecting. Are these the proverbial Hard Times Dickens warned us about? Probably. 

Here we cover the highs and lows of the reading experience, from the books we’ll never stop recommending to the ones that gave us no choice but to download Bumble again out of sheer boredom. 

Let’s get stuck into Snog, Marry, Avoid: The Book Round!  

Lareese says…

Snog: The Behaviour of Moths by Poppy Adams

I love a book with echoes of Daphne Du Maurier and this one had me at hello with its strange title. Set in a crumbling Victorian mansion, it tells the tale of two estranged elderly sisters, Ginny the reclusive moth expert and Vivien who left the family home some 50 years ago. Upon her return to the house, the sisters revisit the tragedies of the past, uncovering deeply buried resentments and family secrets that may destroy their relationship forever. Strange, unsettling and atmospheric, it’s a great rainy day autumn read!

Marry – Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

“There are some who can live without wild things, and some who cannot.”
Urgh, will I ever recover from this book? Not likely. The nature-infused descriptions of the marsh, the imagery, the plot, this book has all the ingredients of a 10/10 page-turner. At once a coming-of-age murder mystery and a love song to the natural world, it’s got a little bit of everything that I love. Kya, the protagonist, known as Marsh Girl, is a reclusive young woman who has been abandoned by her family and must learn to survive alone, in the wilds of the North Carolina marsh. When she becomes entangled in the murder of her ex-lover Chase Andews, a juicy plot twist unfurls, and Kya must once again fight for survival. With its stunning sense of place and exquisite storytelling, I’m jealous of anyone who’s yet to read it. All aboard the hype train.

Avoid – Exciting Times by Naoise Dolan

Fyi, I’m a huge fan of character-driven plotless books and after all the Sally Rooney comparisons, I thought I’d love Exciting Times but it just didn’t grab me. There were elements I enjoyed, particularly Naoirse Dolan’s writing which is so irrefutably brilliant and emotionally aware, but for all its insightful observations on modern twentysomething love, it proved a little too slow to excite this disgruntled reader.

Charlotte says…

Snog – The No-Show by Beth O’Leary

Fave book of the year alert! I laughed, I cried (in public) and have recommended it to everyone I know, The No-Show by Beth O’Leary is a masterpiece if I ever did see one. A genius plot that keeps you guessing until the very end, you’re guaranteed to fall in love with Beth’s always endearing and beautiful characters and become invested in their lives from the off. I’m a sucker for a romance and this unconventional story of love, loss, heartbreak and friendship is my definition of the perfect holiday read. Everything Beth creates is a work of art but the seamless overlapping plots of the book’s three protagonists was executed what felt like such ease that it may just have made its way into my top O’Leary spot!

Marry – Manifest by Roxie Nafousi

This book = life-changing. I’d seen it all over social media before I got my hands on it and let’s just say the hype is real. I’d always been interested in manifesting and knew the basics of it but this book was the deep dive I needed to really start putting it into practice in my daily life- it’s basically a manifesting bible that you’ll find yourself referring back to again.

I loved the emphasis Roxie placed on self-worth practices and the importance of these in successfully manifesting your dreams, and learnt so much from her wisdom about flipping the script and transforming your life and the belief that truly anything is possible! If you’re in a rut, in need of some serious motivation or are freaking out about a milestone birthday, this book will see you through it all.

Avoid – Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman

Controversial, I know. I adore the Call Me By Your Name movie but something about the book just didn’t do it for me. I actually read it a few years before seeing the film and I can’t put my finger on what didn’t click for me, but it certainly didn’t have the same impact as the cinematography and storytelling in the film which left me in a haze of Italian summer love for days. I’m definitely the odd one out in not loving this iconic love story, but I will stand by this unpopular opinion and choose the movie adaptation any day.

Maddie says…

Snog – The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

I am a huge self-proclaimed greek mythology nerd. I find the stories fascinating and for me, this is the ultimate greek fantasy novel. That being said, I assure you, you don’t need to be a mythology expert to enjoy this book. It tells the story of friendship between Achilles and his best friend Patroclus which eventually turns into a really beautiful story of love. I was immediately hooked and think about reading it again all the time which is always a sign of a book that’s captured my heart.

Marry – One Day by David Nicholls

I absolutely loved this book, the way it’s written whereby each chapter falls on St Swithens day for 20 years is pure genius. I couldn’t put it down and much like real life, some chapters (days), you wish would continue forever and some days you wish had never happened. The characters evolve so brilliantly through the years both with their ups and downs, by the end I loved both of them.

Avoid – Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

This is going to be a very unpopular opinion based on good reads general consensus and the amount of hype this book had when it came out. It just really wasn’t for me and i couldn’t get to the end of it, which probably makes this quite an unfair choice as the end could have turned it around…i guess i’ll never know!

Danielle says…

Snog – Beautiful World, Where Are You by Sally Rooney

Even though this book had mixed reviews from Sally Rooney stans (how can you ever compare after the normal people show came out) I really enjoyed this book. I got really stuck into the character’s situationships and Rooney always manages to build that sexual desire between them SO well. It also tackles so many different subjects through the letters the two female protagonists write each other, that it really makes you ponder life!

Marry – Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

This book needs no introduction. What a powerhouse of a novel. I read this book later in life after I’d watched about 3 different iterations in movie form and it’s just such a beautiful story. I love the characters with all my heart and the way Alcott describes homey comforts and seasonal delights never fails to make me feel cosy. You can probably pick this book up in a charity shop, highly recommend for when it starts to get colder and darker outside.

Avoid – I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max

Probably quite an unknown book for the Zoella audience but believe it or not, this book was on the NY times bestseller list every year at the end of the 00s and has sold over a million copies! I read this book on a holiday in 2009 (when I was 18) and took it as a lighthearted man’s narration of sexcapades and drinking to excess. But when I look back at it now I have to say it would not age well at all! Privileged white guy drinking through his insanely expensive University life, taking advantage of women (whom he had little respect for) and basically doing whatever the f*ck he wanted at all times. CRINGE.

Liv says…

Snog – The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

I got gifted The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by a friend for my birthday and I was obsessed! And when I say I am excited for the film, I AM EXCITED. The old Hollywood glamour, the characters, the twist! It is such a visual book so I can’t wait to see it come to life on screen. I did manage to guess the twist but it didn’t change the build-up that this book creates and I would read it again.

Marry – The Guest List and The Hunting Party by Lucy Foley

I love a thriller and both these books delivered on the thrill level. They are both similar in style, you switch between different characters’ POV and the timelines jump from past to present so it does keep you on your toes. They are nicely complex so it keeps you guessing right until the end. I found myself looking forward to my commute so I could continue reading these books and I can’t wait to read the Paris Apartment.

Avoid – The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien

LOTR fans please don’t come for me. I absolutely love all things Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit but I just found this book a really hard read. I have the utmost respect for J. R. R. Tolkien and the world he was able to create for us all to enjoy but I personally preferred the films… I’m sorry…

Darcey says…

Snog – Wahala by Nikki May

This book was so, so good! I loved following the lives of Ronke, Simi and boo, three friends in London who all equally have some kind of personal issues that they are trying to work through. I particularly felt a real connection to Ronke, who was dating a guy her friends didn’t really like and so desperately wanted him to be the devoted boyfriend she quite frankly deserves! I also really enjoyed getting to learn more about Nigerian culture, especially the food which sounds bloody delicious! What made me not marry this book is I didn’t really enjoy the thriller side of it, it was compared to a “Sex and The City but with a thriller twist” but I think this was such a disservice to the book, as these three women are actually way more relatable than 4 wealthy women living in New York. I also disliked Isobel and think the book could have done without all her drama and the crazy ending which was pretty unrealistic, I actually think I would have married this book if it just followed Ronke, Simi and Boo’s lives with no crazy ending or twists.

Marry – My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

TW: sexual abuse, paedophilia and suicide. I absolutely adored this book, I wish I could erase my memory of it and read it all over again, this book moved me in so many ways and Elizabeth Russell is an extraordinary writer. My Dark Vanessa covers a lot of really difficult topics such as sexual abuse, paedophilia and suicide, but it is all narrated by the victim who is struggling to come to terms with the abuse she experienced as a teen at the hands of her English teacher. It follows her exploring their relationship as an adult and coming to terms with the realisation that in fact, it was not a loving and consensual relationship between two adults. This book is stomach-churning, you want to close the book on multiple occasions feeling unable to read any more of its disturbing content, but you continue as you want so badly for Vanessa to find justice after the awful things she was subjected to. Would really recommend this to anyone who feels they are in the right head-space to read this book.

Avoid – Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyers

I wanted to love this book so much as I am a massive Twilight fan, but I unfortunately just didn’t get along with it! I don’t know if it was the book being from Edward’s perspective and not from Bella’s, but I just didn’t enjoy the narration. I did find it interesting at points being inside Edward’s mind and I have always been Team Edward (weren’t we all really lol?) but this book just did not hit the spot for me.

Lily says…

Snog – The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han

It all started when my friend said “have you read The Summer I Turned Pretty…” and well, this book now lives very close to my heart. It is a warm, funny, heartbreaking, coming-of-age story. Providing its reader with a beautiful conflicting love story, and of family and friendships! It speaks to all who remember that one year when you notice how much your body changed from a child to a teen, and growing up officially kicks in…

I am not always a romance/coming-of-age book kinda gal, however, this was the book that swayed me!! It made me giggle, cry, fall in love-then out-then back again… IT’S A MUST READ (if you haven’t already).

Marry – 1st To Die by James Patterson (Women’s Murder Club Collection)

I AM OBSESSED! I am a sucker for crime, drama and thriller and James Patterson never disappoints. The collection is still going as well, which is music to my ears!! The chapters are short but filled with suspense and incredible writing that making this an absolute page-turner. It is based around the only female homicide inspector Lindsay Boxer and is set in San Francisco. When faced with gruesome murders Boxer turns to her friends (aka the Women’s Murder Club) Claire, who is a leading coroner, Cindy a journalist and Jill, a top attorney for help!

Avoid – Autobiographies

None in particular, but I’m just not drawn to autobiography books! I just don’t choose to pick them up and read – although I’ll happily listen to my parents tell different anecdotes from some juicy sections!

The Ick. That loaded three letter word pertaining to the horrendous feeling you get when you’re suddenly repulsed by a love interest. Usually a cis heterosexual male (just saying)….

Not to be confused with red flags, icks are usually innocuous and irrational turn-offs but also, ya know, perfectly valid – a biological response you can’t shake once you’ve ‘caught’ it. 

In Urban Dictionary terms, the ick is when ‘You THINK you like them but then you suddenly catch ‘The Ick’. From then on you can’t look at the person in the same way, you just progressively get more and more turned off by them, weirdly & maybe for no reason in particular grossed out by them. You’ll cringeeeeee at the thought of you and them together. Nothing will be the same, you won’t be able to do it any longer and eventually have to cut it off.’

Maybe he uses too many emojis where words would suffice. Or he has the fingernails of an unruly wizard. Or maybe, you feel violently ill at the way his arms swing wildly when he’s walking up a hill… put them by your side at once, sir. Let your legs get to work, for crying out loud. 

Turkish veneers, can’t parallel park for shit, no Spotify Premium > new icks unlocked. Another honourable mention: meal prep. It’s all fairly surface-level stuff but what happens when you catch the proverbial ick in a long-term relationship? Does it have the gravitas to put you off them for life and prompt a breakup? Team Zoella are getting stuck into this very dilemma in this month’s BYAM, where we’ve also got a case of never have I ever… had an orgasm, to which we say let us introduce you to the entire contents of our sex and health section! It’s a pleasure to be of service. 

For the team’s take on all of the above and more, keep reading August’s Between You and Me! 

Darcey says…

Hey Anon! If I’m being totally honest, I don’t think anyone really shows their true self on a first date, a mix of nerves and wanting to make a good impression means we are all a bit different to say how we’d act with an old friend. Of course, it’s best to be as much yourself as poss on a first date, but actually, if your bubbly personality started to show more by date 2 or 3 that’s probably something that would be quite endearing to the other person, it would show you are coming out of your shell and people like that! I don’t think you should put yourself down about this, to me it sounds totally normal. I’m definitely not 100% me on a first date so I really do relate to you, some people are just naturally more confident and can be more themselves, but that’s just not the case for everyone (and I’d say for more people than you think!).

Liv says…

Firstly, you should always be proud to be who you are! It’s definitely easier said than done and I think most of us have done this at some point in our lives. The first date feels a little bit like a first interview, they’ve seen your CV (dating profile) and want to get to know you a little better off paper (or phone screen) and you feel like you want to be what they are looking for so it’s easy to slip into putting on a facade. If you feel more confident and comfortable putting out this version of yourself that’s absolutely fine. Most people come out of their shell more on the second date anyway. But if you are wanting to get more of your bubbly personality out there don’t be afraid to do that either! At the end of the day, you want to be going on a second date with someone who likes you for who you really are.

Danielle says…

Don’t feel sad! Your body works! My best advice is to get REALLY good at cumming on your own first, before worrying about it during sex. Get to know your body and what you like and don’t like and then try and replicate that when you’re with someone else. A huge percentage of women don’t cum during penetrative sex and only get there through clitoral stimulation, so you may need to face the fact that you’re one of many, which is nothing to be ashamed of! Do whatever you can to relax and feel comfortable, and as hard as it is to do, try not to worry about it. Godspeed!

Lareese says…

Oh babes, please don’t be sad. This is SO common and nothing you should feel bad, sad or ashamed about. I don’t know the details of what kind of sex you’re having and with whom but I just want you to know, you’re not on your own. Women put so much pressure on themselves to cum during sex when actually, if you’re enjoying it then why should orgasm always be the measure of a great sexual experience? In an ideal world, we’d all be cumming together like the movies would have us believe but real life simply won’t allow for a cinematic shag like that.

As someone who doesn’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone (which is presumably what we’re talking about here), I would say never skip foreplay and introduce toys into the mix. You can then enjoy longer sessions that are equally satisfying for both partners, and hey if you don’t orgasm then so be it. Enjoy the pleasure for what it is and the intimacy of being with a partner or yourself! If you’ve never experienced orgasm during self-sex aka self-pleasure, can I be so bold to give you the task of experimenting with what feels good for you? I feel like you owe it to yourself to find out what makes you tick and hopefully, then you’ll be more comfortable with communicating your wants and needs during partnered sex, or pleasuring yourself and involving a partner (always fun). In the meantime, have a read of these articles – How to Close the Pleasure Gap and Get the Finish You Deserve & Let’s Talk About Clitoral Orgasms!

Maddie says…

Sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time with your friend. If it gives you any comfort I will say that this is incredibly common, especially when a really good friend gets into a new relationship it’s natural to feel a bit jealous. They go from talking to you and seeing you all the time to wanting to spend all of their time with this new person. They’re likely experiencing what is known as the “honeymoon period” and the good news for you is it won’t last forever. Unfortunately, you’ve got to let your friend go a little bit during this time. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you anymore, they’ve just gone a bit tunnel vision for their boyfriend. Soon enough you’ll probably be the person she’s moaning to about said boyfriend and things will feel back to normal again. Try not to take it too personally and instead spend lots of time doing fun things with your other friends, she’ll soon realise that the best of both worlds is much more fun in the long run.

Liv says…

This is such a tricky situation to be in and so many people find themselves in it. It’s amazing that you have a friend so close to you that you miss them being in your life so much, she obviously means a lot to you. When people get in relationships it’s so easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of it and focus a lot of your attention on it as it’s so new and exciting. But sadly this means that you sometimes stop spending as much time with the people you did before, it doesn’t mean that they mean any less to you. I know you say that you keep on arguing over it and that isn’t a nice situation to be in and I can imagine it’s making it more difficult. If I was you, I’d get some friend dates in the diary, find out their availability and book in to do some things that you love doing together. Also, try and fill the time that you feel like you’re missing with things for yourself, do things for yourself and spend time with other people that are in your life. I’m sure you both mean a lot to each other and it’s just a change that you can make work for both of you.

Darcey says…

On the surface, I don’t think this is particularly bad as you are both consenting adults and I don’t see why you couldn’t sleep together, however, I do question why you think your friend would be annoyed and why he doesn’t want her to know either, do they have some sort of history? Or is it because he thinks it could make things awkward? I’m sure secretly sleeping with him is probably quite exciting, but maybe if you think it would upset your friend if she found out it’s best to stop. I think if you were all open and honest about the situation it would be okay, because if they have no history why can’t you sleep together if it’s not hurting anyone else, but the secrecy is making it seem to me like you both know you shouldn’t be doing this and there must be a reason for that. I’d say either stop completely or be honest with your friend about what’s going on but speak to the flatmate first, I really don’t think you two sleeping together is a big deal but the secrecy could make it a big deal!

Lily says…

Hello! Uh Ohhh, not the ick!! We have ALL been there :/

First things first though, what’s the ick that you have with your partner?? I ask because it might be something that you could get past over time… is it something that’s bugged you for the entire relationship or only recently? Although, I will point out, that by what you’ve said (and for raising this) it sounds like you’ve made up your mind already. But either way, speak to your s/o about how you’re feeling, as after 5 years you owe it to one another to speak about how you’re truly feeling – however, awkward or sad it feels. It’s the uncomfortable conversations that are the ones to be had. Sending you lots of support, its a tricky situation but you have to trust your gut and go with how you truly feel!!

Lareese says…

Oh no, not the dreaded ick! The team were talking the other day about ‘the ick’ and how it seems to be dominating conversations at the moment. It’s an unexplainable phenomenon that plagues millions and it seems the general consensus is there’s no coming back from it once you’ve caught it. Five years deep, is tough though and I can totally understand the feelings of guilt you might have around that, especially as it seemingly came out of nowhere for you. If we forget that the ick even exists for a second and strip it back, I think it’s just a sign that there’s a disconnect between you and your bf and only you will know if that’s a temporary or long-term thing, and if your relationship can move past it.

Is it surface-level stuff or is it deeper than that? Is it something minor that’s irritating you right now but will likely fade or is it a total deal-breaker you can’t recover from? Take stock of where this ick came from and why you’re feeling this way at this point in your relationship. It might be that your relationship has just run its course and you’re different people, but if you feel physically repulsed or cringed out by your partner, I think it’s fair to say they’re not the one for you, as hurtful as it is after 5 years of loving him. Ultimately, it is a gut reaction by another name and that’s pretty hard to shake! I’ve gotta s/o my pal Anna’s book here, The Little Book of Ick – it might be the laugh-out-loud read you need at a time like this. Sending you love and hoping that whatever happens from here, you both enjoy a happy, ick-less life, whether that’s together or apart <3

Danielle says…

It sounds like your partner has some pretty extreme views when it comes to climate change, and there’s nothing wrong with that but I think to be in a relationship with someone like that, you have to be on the same page. If getting married and trying to have a biological child are non-negotiables for you (which you are absolutely entitled to have them be) and the opposite is true for him, then it sounds like you’re just not compatible. There’s only so much compromise a couple can do without totally giving up to much of their wants or needs. If I was in your position I’d bite the bullet and find someone whose life goals align with yours. Sending love and strength x

Maddie says…

This is a really tough one and I think it comes down to what both of you are and what you aren’t willing to compromise on. If getting married and having your own biological child are non-negotiables for you, and by the way that is completely fine and justifiable if that’s the case. Then it sounds like your partner may not be the one for you. I think you need to be really honest with your partner and let them know how serious these things are to you and work out whether or not you both see your futures the same way. I really hope you can work through these things but try and be really honest with yourself and be strong when it comes to the things that really matter to you.

September’s signature new term feeling is almost upon us, and with that comes memories of fresh notebooks, squeaky clean shoes and a sharp AF uniform ready to tackle a new year of learning. Whilst thankfully the days of algebra and anthology revision are behind us, that breath-of-fresh-air feeling that hits as soon as September approaches is one that never gets old. If you’re looking to turn over a new leaf as autumn creeps ever closer and transitional dressing makes it way onto your Pinterest suggested searches, the high-streets new-in sections are sure to have you covered.

From light knits perfect for your last few alfresco dinners to tailored trousers that go with literally everything, high-street heroes including H&M, Weekday, Arket and & Other Stories are primed and ready to swing into action as the next payday approaches. Including wardrobe basics and fun, of-the-moment designs sure to amp up your clothes rail, this new-in edit is almost as hot as this summer’s heatwave.

Our top picks from H&M…

Our top picks from Weekday…

Our top picks from & Other Stories…

Our top picks from Arket…

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

This is a guest article written by Celebrity Hair Stylist and Presenter Tom Smith, for content pitches please email contact@zoella.co.uk.

You’ve decided to invest in some new hair products, but where do you begin? A Shampoo can cost £2 or £50 or even more and what about a heat protector? Do you really need that as well?

I’ve been hairdressing for over 15 years and have always been passionate about the home haircare products I recommend to my clients. I’ve also had the opportunity to work with various global brands throughout my career to date and have learnt first-hand that there are some wonderfully innovative and unique products that are well worth investing in, and others that are just not worth the hype. 

Here are my go-to product recommendations that are worth adding to cart!

The science-led products that ARE worth the hype

First up, let’s talk about the most ground-breaking launches of recent years. In the hairdressing industry, when new technology appears, it makes waves throughout the best salons globally. Those who have their finger on the pulse become intrigued by the latest launches. That was me in 2014 when I started hearing about Olaplex for the first time. Patented technology and a new, unique way of repairing the hair that sounded too good to be true; I got my hands on some, tested it, and was blown away by how unique and powerful the treatment was. Eight years on, it has cemented itself as one of the most popular developments in hair science ever and I still recommend it daily. 

So which Olaplex products are most worth your investment? Where should you spend your money? The reason Olaplex became famous is thanks to a patented compound that relinks broken di-sulphide bonds in the hair, the products that are available for home use that contain this in the highest percentage are Olaplex No.0 and Olaplex No.3. I highly recommend using both when aiming to dramatically repair damaged, fragile, or weak hair, or hair that has an irregular curl/texture pattern. You apply No.0 to dry, unwashed hair and layer on No.3 after 10mins for an additional 20mins – or as long as you can. Their other products are also great, but I would prioritise these first within your ‘haircare budget’. For instance, No.3 alone is good to maintain healthy hair or repair moderate damage.

The next most innovative scientific development of recent years is the K18 Leave In Mask. Designed to repair damaged hair, it’s marketed in much the same way but works in a different way to Olaplex. Simplifying the science; if the molecular structure of the hair is like a ‘ladder’, Olaplex will help to relink the ‘rungs’, while K18 relinks the ‘sides’ which they say, in turn, helps to relink the rungs. 

My top tip is to use the products in tandem; Olaplex No.0/No.3 before shampooing, then K18 Leave In Mask afterwards. For me, this combination is the ultimate, complementary solution to getting the most from your hair on a molecular level. This will build strong foundations and can be done every wash or every 6 washes depending on how needy your hair is and how much heat styling or chemical processes you subject your locks to.

The best heat and humidity protection products

On the topic of heat styling, the next most valuable place to spend your money is on protective products. Olaplex and K18 are what I would describe as ‘reparative’, meaning they have the ability to properly repair damage. But once that damage is repaired, or while the repairs are in progress, it is super important to prevent further damage from occurring, hence the need to invest in protective products. 

The most obvious of which is a heat protector (for those of you who use hot tools, such as, hair dryers or straighteners), but also products that provide UV protection, protection against humidity and protect your colour from fading. When it comes to heat protectors, I always recommend the lightest possible product – hear me out; if you’re putting a couple of drops of oil with a view to get some heat protection, how much are those two little drops going to do? Putting a lot on is surely going to make your hair oily, and the same can be said for cream-based products or heavy serums. My go-to Heat Protector recommendation is Evo Icon Welder, which is a light mist that boasts high heat protection plus light hold and style memory. You can use a generous amount of this without noticing weight or stickiness on your hair – meaning the more you use, the more protection you’re getting. 

When it comes to humidity and UV protection it’s got to be Color Wow Dreamcoat – a cult product that fights frizz and humidity in a totally unique way. Typically, all ‘anti-frizz’ products use heavy moisturising agents or ingredients called ‘film formers’ that coat and weigh down the hair to flatten it and fight the frizz, this is no good for fine to medium hair types as it can be far too heavy, even for coarser hair. Dreamcoat uses an invisible, fine matrix that seals the hair and protects from humidity, heat and UV, keeping the hair frizz free in a totally weightless way. The trick is to use a lot of it – really saturate your hair all the way through, and always follow with heat to seal the deal. It’s heat activated, so anything from a light blow-dry to meticulous straightening with irons will get best results.

The best colour maintenance products that tackle colour fade

Colour protection is two-fold. Investing in a good quality shampoo is essential when it comes to minimising colour fade (washing in cooler water, and minimising heat on your hair will also help) as your hair colour is most vulnerable when it is wet and being ‘cleaned’. Shampoos by nature are designed to remove dirt and oil build-up but can’t differentiate between that and unstable colour molecules – this means a high-quality shampoo that has a low pH to complement the hair whilst cleansing gently yet efficiently is the best option.

There are various I could recommend depending on your hair type but my top three would be Evo Gluttony Shampoo and Conditioner for fine to medium hair types, Pureology Hydrate for medium hair and Oribe Moisture and Control for coarse or highly textured hair types. If you want to prioritise your budget on the reparative and protective products recommended above, (and I have listed all my recommendations in order of importance for most people) French pharmacy brands are a great choice for a lower cost option. Klorane does some lovely gentle shampoos that will cleanse your hair while respecting its colour and moisture levels. I really like their Gentle Oat Shampoo for almost all hair types.

The other way to tackle coloured hair and protect it from fading is to actively ‘top it up’. Evo Fabuloso is a fantastic system of Colour Boosting Treatments that are available in various shades and double up as a conditioning treatment plus a home toner. These can be used in place of conditioner and left on for a few minutes to actually deposit pigment back into the hair. There is also a professional only system called Evo Fab Pro which is available at high end salons where your colourist can mix a bespoke shade just for you – if you can’t find these products in your salon, I offer online consultations through Billi Currie’s online store where I can mix the appropriate shade for you.

The stand-out conditioner & masks

Typically, these products can be interchanged – if your hair prefers a mask over a conditioner, then just use the mask every time. If you prefer to use a conditioner daily and a mask from time to time, that’s fine too. Evo Great Hydrator Moisture Mask is incredibly nourishing and leaves the hair feeling like silk and totally detangled – plus, it smells like a French bakery in the morning! Redken All Soft is a very friendly and caring conditioner that suits most hair types. Authentic Beauty Concept Amplify Conditioner is a conditioner that isn’t really a conditioner at all – it is a gel-like consistency that ‘calms’ the hair with zero weight; ideal for very fine or flat hair that struggles to be happily conditioned. If your hair is perpetually dry (and remembering Olaplex 0/3 or K18 won’t tackle the moisture levels of your hair at all) a product I recommend a lot which has been around for decades is Philip Kingsley Elastcizer (or elasticizer extreme for an even stronger option). This treatment is the most moisturising product I know and is used before you shampoo. Properly massaging it into brittle or coarse areas will really soften and hydrate them – just make sure to wash it out well afterwards.

Manage your hair at home with these essential tools

Now you’ve got most of your product regime clear, let’s go over some of the essential tools I think are worth investing in to manage your hair at home. 

When it comes to blow-drying the biggest investment of all would have to be a Dyson Supersonic hairdryer. I know it’s pricey, but it really is worth it for various reasons but mostly because of its internal temperature gauge which literally prevents you from accidentally burning your hair. Another great option for a hairdryer is a Parlux – but only if you’re disciplined enough to use it on the medium heat setting, unless you’re a professional hairstylist! 

My favourite straightening irons are the Cloud Nine Standard Iron – you can adjust the temperature easily, meaning you can control how much heat you’re putting on your hair – for anyone with finer or bleached hair, make sure you stay below 150 degrees. Cloud Nine also do some lovely curling wands which are extremely easy to use – I find a cylindrical barrel easiest; the conical wands can tend to be a bit slippy. 

Finally, for easy hair-drying at home or when you want to lessen your blow-drying time Kitsch do some fantastic ‘Quick Drying Hair Towels’ in which you can scoop up your freshly washed locks to help them air dry faster while you’re getting ready. They also have clever towelling scrunchies that are useful for the same purpose.

A hair care regime is extremely personal and a lot of finding the right products for you can be a bit trial and error but start with some of these recommendations which are tried and tested by me, and you’ll know your money is being well spent.

For more hair care tips and styling inspiration, follow Tom Smith on Instagram and TikTok. 

This article is in partnership with Butternut Box

They say do a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life and when you take one look at this typical 9-5 day in the life of an office pup, you’ll realise these dogs have got it sussed. 

The grind? They don’t know it. The work-life balance? They’ve completed it. A so-called working day centred around food, tasty snacks and power naps, yep these lot are truly living the dream. If you have never looked at a dog and wished you had their life with every fibre of your being, prepare for that to change in the next 2-3 minutes…

Here’s a glimpse at a very demanding day in the life of an office dog (there’s not a violin small enough).

9am – Arrive at Zoella HQ

The so-called working day begins, and it’s off to a strong start with Milo and Nala in charge. They hotfoot it into Zoella HQ via the VIP entrance – aka the puppy gate – and much like humans and their ever-complicated relationship with revolving doors, seeing them try to navigate it never gets old.  

10am – Creative Meeting 

10 am is reserved for impawtant pupdates and key takeaways from the previous week. Nala leads on the creative, whilst Milo the esteemed grey bear chimes in with a couple of invaluable tips on how to work a room like a Frenchie. A Zoella exclusive: It’s all in the side-eye but a bandana helps. 

11am – Water Cooler Chat 

A quick break to socialise, procrastinate and chew each other’s ears off about the increasing number of sausage dogs in the city.
-XOXO Gossip Girl. 

12pm – Lunch Break 

Grub’s up at the office, and today, Milo and Nala dine like kings and queens. 

With the help of Pip the pug, the lovely people at Butternut Box have delivered a bona fide banquet and rumour has it, tender Beef It Up is on the menu. Woof, woof. 

Lovingly cooked with care using human-quality ingredients, Butternut Box is changing the way you feed your four-legged friends by creating fresh, tasty recipes tailored to suit them and delivered straight to your door – with healthy treats too if you choose. Easy for you, delicious for them!

As the UK’s first fresh dog food subscription service, they’re on a mission to deliver health and happiness to dogs and their humans all over the world. In fact, the ingredients they use are of such high quality that you can get stuck in too (literally). To ensure their recipes are up to scratch, they’re taste tested by humans for optimum quality assurance, so you can trust that what your doggo’s eating is good enough for human consumption. When it comes to their products, they’ll only ever make things that taste good and contain the right balance of vitamins and nutrients to nourish your dog from the inside out, whatever their age. 

With a wide range of tasty recipes, fuss pups couldn’t possibly turn their noses up once they get a sniff of what’s on the fine dining menu here, whilst farty Mcfarty dogs can enjoy balanced nutritious meals to help curb the afternoon trumps. Whether you’ve got a pup with flatulence issues (we’re looking at you, boxers, bulldogs and pugs) or a fussy eater on your hands, Butternut Box can put your pooch on a meal plan that’s tailored just for them. 

Choose from 10 fresh recipes including aromatic lamb with green beans to plant-based feasts and sustainably sourced white fish and kale. The carefully curated recipes make mealtimes as tasty as they should be for your pet, ensuring that they’re well fed and supported throughout every stage of their life. 

They use only the best quality sourced ingredients, gently cooked at 90 degrees to make them easier for your dog to digest and then frozen to lock in the natural goodness without relying on any nasty preservatives. For any dogs who prefer a warm meal in their bellies, all the recipes can be heated in the microwave making the at-home dining experience even better. 

With 65% of dogs in the UK falling into the overweight category, Butternut Box’s perfectly portioned pouches also take the guesswork out of feeding your dog, providing them with the right amount of sustenance to suit their needs. It’s the *chef’s kiss* food delivery service every dog parent needs to subscribe to. 

1pm – Walkies 

A quick screen break and a leg stretch past the pavilion, taking in the sights of Brighton. It’s a great place to be a dog, even if the seagulls are bigger than any broom, Hoover or cat they could ever come up against. They are the Great Danes of the skies and they rule them with an iron, doughnut-robbing beak. 

3pm – Afternoon Nap 

Too blessed to be stressed! Never one to pass up on the opportunity for a power nap, Milo rests his adorable weary chops and enjoys a well-deserved forty winks. This is usually a tense time for the humans in the vicinity, but miraculously, he doesn’t startle himself awake with his own farts today, so whatever’s in that gourmet beef is working. For the first time in a long time, the humans around here can inhale without fear. Praise be for Butternut Box, protecting nostrils since 2016. 

4pm – Pick Me Up Treat

A little something to fuel the afternoon slump. This is pawfect. Pawfect, pawfect, pawfect *TikTok voice*

5pm – Home Time 

The school bell sounds, and the pups shut their laptop lids at 5pm on the dot. They’ve got people to see, balls to seize and butts to sniff. Emails? Meh, that’s a Monday problem. 

We don’t deserve dogs and that’s a fact. They enrich our lives no end with their unconditional love and emotional support, so it’s only right that we enrich theirs right back, starting with the basics: their food. Switching up their meals has never been easier with Butternut Box on speed dial. In three easy steps, you can ensure your pup is eating clean and thriving from head to tail:

1. Introduce your pooch

Fill out a few questions about your beloved pooch, from how active they are to how many treats they get, and Butternut Box will calculate your personalised plan and pricing, creating the perfect meal plan to complement their breed, age, activity levels and dietary requirements. 

2. Your dog’s meals are delivered straight to your door 

Build your box and the perfectly portioned meals will be delivered to your door on a day that suits you, every few weeks. No waste, no fuss, no nasties. 

3. Update your plan as and when you need to 

Adjust your pup’s meal plan or pouch size according to their needs and eating habits, and change, pause or cancel your plan anytime. No commitment. You are in full control of your account. 

This article is in partnership with Butternut Box.

Driving anxiety, also known as amaxophobia, motorphobia or amaxophobia, describes the excessive, irrational fear people develop while in a vehicle. According to Anxiety UK, there are varying degrees of driving phobias, with some people struggling to drive on motorways, whilst others fear roundabouts, parallel parking, or being caught in traffic and not being able to ‘escape’.

“I think most new learners have a little bit of fear and mainly this is born out of the fear of the unknown, learning a new skill, tackling what for many are alien concepts,” says driving instructor, Mark Steeples.

The biggest triggers are mostly the fear of getting it wrong, the fear of crashing or in extreme situations, a memory of a close friend or family member who was killed or seriously injured in a road accident. There is also the constant tension of dealing with tailgaters; they exert undue stress and pressure on any driver let alone a learner. As an instructor my job is to alleviate those fears and help them find new pathways in the brain, hence learning muscle memory as with any new skill, but particularly so with learning to drive

Mark Steeples

Driving is undoubtedly an overwhelming skill to learn, with so much to think about and do seemingly simultaneously, there are countless scenarios a nervous driver can imagine getting themselves caught in, particularly after stressful past experiences that can see confidence being knocked from the off. But as with most things, consistent practice and tackling the problem head on can lead to incredibly positive results, and flipping the script on anxiety behind the wheel entirely… 

“For the vast majority, anxiety does decrease over time- it starts though with good instructors doing a good job. I take the view that what I’m teaching is a life skill and not just a process of getting through the test and then onto the next one on the list! As a consequence, I really take what I do seriously. Driving is a privilege and a huge responsibility to ensure safety of oneself and others. So good teaching is paramount in minimising risk. If the foundations to learning are correctly laid from the off, then much is done to lessen fears. Part of this is always considering the ‘what if’ questions – how does what’s happening in the road ahead affect what I may have to do and how I should control the car? It’s like a concert performance, rehearse well and there is less room for error.

“How do I deal with these? Well, it starts with reassurance; making it patently clear that I’m never going to put them into a dangerous or hazardous situation beyond which they can naturally cope. Moreover, why would I put them into such a place when I have an expensive motor car that could get damaged and result in me not being able to work as well as shattering their confidence! Starting learners off on quiet roads and building up their skill levels and gradually feeding them busier roads as their confidence and competence grows is the way forward.

Whilst sometimes driving anxiety can be caused by imagined scenarios, a recent survey from young driver insurance company Marmalade found that a whopping 81% of learner drivers experience abuse or intimidation. Aside from making learners more anxious, the most worrying impact is that it is making learners more prone to mistakes. Sadly, it has led to 12% taking a break from driving, with 90% of instructors saying behaviour from other drivers has impacted their learners negatively.

Instructor Mark is confident that despite the worrying stats, even the most nervous drivers shouldn’t allow fear of intimidation to get in the way of their driving successes. 

“In truth, I have so many positive stories from over the years, but two that particularly come to mind. I can think of one lady who’d not driven for several years following a really bad rear-end shunt which had caused severe neck and back injuries. Additionally, she lived with the trauma of always thinking that the car behind would go into her. So my job involved a huge amount of encouragement, early preparation for hazards ahead and regular mirror checks, following the MSM process. Her objective was to drive again to be able to drive to work once again and transport young children to various after-school activities. I’m pleased to say that together we worked on these issues and her confidence was restored.

Another lady who’d suffered a severe stroke had to learn to drive again with a specially adapted mobility car. She’d lost much of the use of the right side of her body and thus needed to drive with adaptations tailored to her left side. She was, after several lessons, able to become fully independent again, behind the wheel. Her review on my website speaks volumes!

Beyond these, I can think of many new students who were initially very nervous at the prospect of driving and then to see them having successfully passed their test, driving independently in their own cars is very satisfying, both for them and me.”

London-based blogger, author of The Insecure Girl’s Handbook and self-proclaimed previous anxious driver, Liv Purvis, often speaks online of her experience in overcoming debilitating driving fears and transitioning from panic induced stalling at traffic lights to road trips to the seaside with passengers in tow, and the radio firmly switched on! 

“I wasn’t anxious in the sense that, y’know, I’d rather not do it but still would. Anxious as in leaving my car outside my parents house for so long it had to be given away, and the thought of driving anywhere solo would leave my hands in a state so clammy you’d think I was resitting my GCSEs every time I thought about getting behind the wheel. And that’s without even thinking about hill starts, finding the bloody biting point or approaching a roundabout.

I catastrophised every thought about getting behind the wheel, and continually told myself I wasn’t able to do it. I wasn’t a good driver and I’d be more trouble on the road than off of it. But the mounting pressure of things I’ve wanted to do, people I’ve wanted the ease of seeing and places I’ve wanted to visit- as well as a shamefully groaning Uber account and new responsibilities meant that getting back behind the wheel (even more so as someone with a licence) felt like a now or never moment. 

Liv Purvis

“Making a plan (including booking some refresher lessons and finding an instructor that could offer support on a flexible basis) and approaching these aims with a slow, considerate mindset was game-changing. Giving myself little goals, but acknowledging that they’re free of watertight deadlines and it’s okay if it’s not all easy and linear has made things so much easier too. And that’s just it- because it has gotten easier.

“I continually try and remember that I don’t have to feel comfortable doing things straight away, and although it’s good to make progress; progress comes from time and experience. That’s not a bad thing, but it won’t happen immediately either. Confidence takes patience, and remembering that you properly learn to drive only once you start driving (mostly after you’ve passed your test) has helped a lot too.”

Motoring journalist at The Daily Telegraph and campaigner for closing the gender pay gap in auto, Erin Baker, shares her practical tips for overcoming anxiety on the road:    

• Take time finding the right instructor, ask around friends and family for recommendations. Especially ask how they handle nervous drivers and don’t feel like you need to settle if you’re not comfortable, you’ll find the right match eventually!
• Go at your own pace, don’t feel the need to compare yourself with others and their learning journey.
• If you find that friends or family make comments that make you feel uncomfortable, you can stop discussing details of your lessons with those people. You don’t need external judgement when learning a new skill!
• Take control of your own learning, if you want to spend time focusing on certain aspects of driving, for example clutch control, then communicate that to your instructor – they are there to help facilitate your learning. You should take an active role in participating in the pace and approach to driving. 

“I always advise newly qualified drivers to consider taking the PassPlus course or advanced driving course; at the very least to ensure they don’t venture out onto a motorway until they have been given some guidance by a parent or family friend,” concludes Mark.

“Failing that, practical tips are, planning the route to be taken with reference to a map and not just relying on the sat nav; allowing plenty of time for the journey; perhaps choosing quieter times to travel and avoiding rush hours where possible, also consider driving accompanied to help with route guidance and reassurance on the road until the driver feels more confident.”