Butter is taking over TikTok, and we’re not mad about it. With over 289 million views on the #ButterTok hashtag (we promise only 200 million of them are us…), the Internet is going wild for all things flavoured butter.  Be it garlic, truffle, pumpkin or cinnamon, the viral videos currently doing the rounds look particularly mouthwatering and surprisingly easy to make. What’s not to love?

Whether you can’t take your eyes off a classic garlic and herb combination or are dreaming of some freshly baked bread covered with a layer of pistachio, pesto deliciousness, keep reading for a selection of the best that Buttertok has to offer…   

Bloody Mary Butter

London chef, author of Food You Want To Eat and King of Buttertok itself, Thomas Straker is the original creator of the ‘All Things Butter’ series on TikTok, and it’s safe to say he makes a great case for incorporating butter into every meal. What he doesn’t know about butter simply isn’t worth knowing. 

Coming in at the number one spot of ‘things we want in our mouth immediately’: Bloody Mary Butter. This spicy, salty and tangy take on the classic cocktail is one for all the bottomless brunch girlies out there, offering something a little different to serve to guests who love any excuse for a drink, and aren’t afraid of a little *kick*. Deliciously creamy and perfect served in the sunshine with a freshly baked, toasted slice of sourdough, surely this is as close to heaven as any of us are getting. 

Steak Flavoured Butter

For the carnivores out there, steak-flavoured butter is possibly as meaty as it gets…

The juices of your steak form the basis for this butter, combined with the holy trinity of garlic, fresh thyme and rosemary to create a creamy, delicious and moreish addition to your dinner. Once you try it, you won’t want to eat your steak any other way. Don’t blame us, blame Thom.

Butter Confit Garlic

Gorgeous, gorgeous girls smell of garlic at all times, and you’re sure to be stinking of the stuff after a portion of this butter confit garlic that is surely the definition of *chef’s kiss* 

Garlic, rosemary, chilli, salt and a whole lot of garlic roasted with clarified butter is all it takes to create this dish sent from the heavens, and let’s just say shop bought garlic bread will never be the same again.  Warning, do not prepare if you wish to be in close proximity to someone within 3-5 working days. You have been warned. 

Pistachio Pesto Butter

Pistachio Pesto Butter, that’s it, that’s the tweet. Creamy, fresh and perfect for summer soirées when a crowd pleasing dish is top of the agenda, add it to fish, veg or crostinis and you just bagged yourself the position of star baker (read: butter maker). You’ll need a food processor for this one, but consider it a purchase well made because we guarantee you’ll be recreating this green dream on a weekly basis. Bellissimo!

Red Wine Butter

This 3 ingredient red wine butter is one to grab from the recipe book (aka TikTok saved folder) when sophistication is on the menu- perhaps you’re cooking for a date or hosting your annual family get together for the first time, whatever the occasion, this recipe has you covered. 

Perfect served with lamb dishes, goat’s cheese or duck, this rich and creamy butter makes for a delicious addition to warming recipes in the winter or to add a kick of flavour to lighter summer meals too. Spoiler: don’t wear white whilst whisking it. 

Garlic Jalapeño Butter

For those who live for that extra bit of *spice* in life, this one’s for you. Once again heavy on the garlic and just as good both on a slice of toast or melted over a tray of crispy new potatoes, this garlic and jalapeño butter is as easy as it gets when it comes to a simple recipe guaranteed to be a crowd pleaser. Enjoy alongside a glass of jalapeño rosé for those really committed to the brand, and voila, consider your hot girl spicy summer activated…

Pumpkin Butter

Craving autumn during the heatwave? This recipe has your name written all over it. For lovers of cosy nights, fluffy pyjamas and hot chocolate in bed, this recreation of the famous Trader Joe’s pumpkin butter is undoubtedly going to be your newest obsession. Although *technically* not actually a butter, this rich, moreish spread is filled with pumpkin, vanilla, lemon and honey and makes for the perfect topping for toast or pancakes for the most decadent brunch of all! 

Spicy Butter

If you opt for Nando’s ‘hot’ when ordering your butterfly chicken, then consider this spicy butter one you’ll be adding to all your meals for the foreseeable future. Using habanero chillies, harissa, parsley and Dan-O’s spicy seasoning, this butter is not one for the fainthearted. Pair with a cooling margarita on the side to balance it out and your dinnertime is guaranteed to be giving vacay vibes. 

Black Truffle Butter

One for those with some time on their hands or lovers of the finer things in life, this black truffle butter is one of the most indulgent condiments of all. Serve with steak, mashed potato, grilled vegetables or a fancy slice of toast and consider your meals levelled up x1000. Truffle isn’t exactly cheap, but this one is perfect to have on hand at the end of a bad day – sometimes food solves everything. 

Roasted Garlic Rosemary Butter

Anyone else find themselves dreaming about Pizza Express dough balls and garlic butter in moments of extreme hunger? Same. Recreate their deliciously garlicky, herby dip with this roasted garlic and rosemary butter, perfect with homemade dough balls or served with seafood, steak, chicken, or once again on toast (the elite). This super simple recipe is one you’ll be making for years to come. 

Vegan Butter

Vegans, you don’t need to miss out! This super simple yet creamy butter recipe is one to keep in your fridge at all times. Whether you choose to spread it in a sandwich or use it as the base for a creamy sauce, Lisa of @okonomikitchen has perfected this everyday recipe to a tee. 

Cinnamon Honey Butter

Another recipe recreation on the cards, this time in the form of Texas Roadhouse’s iconic Cinnamon Honey Butter, which the American steakhouse is somewhat famous for. Taking less than 10 minutes in total to make, this addictive, sweet spread goes perfectly with buns, muffins, banana bread and, you guessed it, your morning toast!

Wild Garlic Butter

Wild garlic has definitely had its moment over the past couple of years, and this vibrant green butter recipe is the perfect way to let its fresh, delicate flavours do the talking. Balanced with parsley, lemon zest and a pinch of salt, the wild garlic is the star of the show in not only flavouring this butter with its distinctive garlicky taste, but also colouring it a beautiful, pistachio-like green. Y-U-M. 

A stress-free period doesn’t exi… 

Tricky periods, meet your match! As a trained medical herbalist specialising in women’s health, Natasha Richardson has helped hundreds of people suffering with PMS, painful periods, persistent fatigue and chronic stress to reclaim their menstrual wellbeing. 

After suffering with prolonged period pain which seriously interfered with her life and being ignored by the medical profession, she discovered the amazing pain-alleviating properties of the botanical pharmacy right on her doorstep. 

Natasha has since gone on to create Forage Botanicals, a business aimed specifically at helping people with periods alleviate and manage the stress and symptoms of period pain and other menstrual cycle issues through health coaching, education and natural remedies.

Her powerful guide Your Period Handbook draws on her personal experiences of crippling period pain and her clinical expertise to educate you on everything you never knew about your period, whilst providing a comprehensive overview of relevant herbs and their uses. 

From reconnecting with your cycle to understanding the impact of chronic stress on your hormones, here Natasha gives her expert insight, practical tips and herbal hacks for managing heavy and painful bleeds, with a little help from mother nature. 

Q: Hi Natasha! First up we’d love to hear more about who you are, what you do as a trained medical herbalist and why you started Forage Botanicals?

Hi! I’m an intersectional feminist, mother and to-do list junkie. I trained in herbal medicine at Lincoln University, qualifying in 2010 after 3 years of training and 500 hours of contact time with patients. Recently, I graduated from Oxford after studying for a masters in Design History where I researched medical objects that have changed the modern woman’s body, such as the speculum and the contraceptive pill. I struggled with very painful periods when I was first at university, through my studies with herbal medicine I was able to get myself pain-free within 6 months, results I then later repeated with my own patients. I started to see clear patterns among my patients, similarities in triggers and herbs that were beneficial. Over the years of seeing results with particular herbs, I decided to bring the blends I was creating to the market, which is how Forage Botanicals was born. We now offer products alongside one-to-one treatments with professional herbalists. 

Q: What are your top tips and natural home remedies for period pain? 

Hot water bottles are my go-to, the most simple and most effective. We have a product in the range called Moon Time Belly Balm, which we created for period pain, using cooling peppermint and majaroam which helps with cramps and they are great to use together. If the pain increases, an orgasm can bring instant relief and the natural endorphins work wonders. Also, taking anti-inflammatory supplements like evening primrose oil or fish oils can help too, we recommend taking them daily for at least a month to make a difference. 

Q: Can holistic remedies help manage conditions such as Endometriosis, Fibroids, PCOS and Adenomyosis? 

Yes, I treated all of these conditions in my practice, working to manage triggers and symptoms. Typically Fibroids and PCOS  take 6 months to treat and once you know how to manage the condition you will see continued results. Whereas, with our Endo and Adeno patients treatment is often required longer-term as the condition can be reactive and flare up. 

Q: How can we reconnect with and reclaim our menstrual cycles? 

The number one way is to simply track your cycle. Not only track your bleed but also how you’re feeling, along with the day of your cycle so you can look for patterns month on month. Studies have shown that simply tracking symptoms can improve them because it helps people see any patterns and understand they are transient. 

Q: How can we have a ‘better’ period?

The best way to have a better period is to work hard at relaxing. Schedule time to do nothing. Literally, block out time in your diary time where you’re going to say no to social engagements. It’s a miracle worker. Our bodies need physical, emotional and sensory rest. If this is challenging and it is for so many of us with work and family commitments, help your body out with herbs that support your unnatural stress response, adaptogens like Ashwagandha and herbs such as hawthorn and oat tops which we blend in our Rested Resilience chai latte help to regulate the nervous system and promote rest.  

Q: What causes heavy periods (medically known as menorrhagia)? 

There are many causes but the most common is DUB. DUB means ‘dysfunctional uterine bleeding’ and sadly nobody knows what causes it. If you’re told your heavy periods are because of DUB it can feel like a big question mark. There are also perfectly natural reasons for heavy periods, like perimenopause which is important to talk about. However, just because heavy periods can be caused by something natural doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything about it. Iron supplements can really help, this is because when we have low iron levels we can be prone to bleed more, which then also reduces iron levels again, it’s a vicious cycle. Another reason for heavy flow is fibroids, these are relatively common and can be diagnosed through a scan. Fibroids tend to be more common later in life and will most likely dissipate when periods stop.

Q: What would your advice be for anyone suffering with particularly heavy or painful bleeds? Can a natural remedy help? 

Anyone with particularly heavy periods should try an iron supplement like Floradix. I also created our Aunt Flo drinking chocolate to boost your iron levels during and after your period, a chocolate that’s good for you, what more needs to be said? Painful periods also need long-term stress relief, an anti-inflammatory diet and on-the-day pain relief. 

Q: Our cycles can often provide the best insight for what’s going on with our overall health and wellbeing. What are some period ‘red flags’ to be aware of when tracking your cycle?

Any sudden changes are a big red flag and we recommend booking in to see your GP. 

Q: In your book The Period Handbook, you explore the effects of stress on our hormonal balance and wellbeing. How much does stress impact our periods and how can we ensure we’re living in a way that works with our cycle, rather than against it? Have we really become out of touch with the concept of relaxation?

In ten years of working with patients, stress is the number trigger of painful periods that we see time and time again. High and prolonged levels of cortisol in the body can impact everything from delayed periods to exacerbating PMS symptoms and worsening period pain. Our bodies are struggling to keep up with our busy lifestyles in ways we’re only just beginning to realise. Fortunately, herbs can help better equip our bodies to adapt to stress and reset, but ultimately we also need to redefine rest. Our bodies not only need physical rest but also sensory rest away from screens and devices to recalibrate. Good quality sleep is also incredibly important because it’s where we reset the whole body and heal from the day. Rest can be one of the hardest things to do for ourselves with daily demands and productivity guilt but we really need it. 

Q: There’s a long history of dismissing women’s pain in the medical industry, it’s routinely underdiagnosed and undertreated and we know you’ve sadly had first-hand experience of that. What can those going through something similar do to advocate for themselves? 

I sometimes joke that the best thing to do is bring a white middle-class male with you to do all the talking but it absolutely should not be the case. In order to advocate for yourself, you first need to have boundaries and knowledge about what you think is and isn’t acceptable. To adhere to those boundaries you’ve got to feel strong in the moment and sometimes, when you’re in pain, haven’t slept etc. you can’t do this for yourself, so bring a friend to an appointment for support. Also taking notes, logging symptoms and cycle tracking can arm you with the information that your doctor may ask you for. 

Q: We realise it must be like picking a favourite child but… do you have a soft spot for a particular herb / flower? 

Lady’s Mantle has to be my favourite, it has such a rich history in women’s health and first opened my eyes to the power of hormone-balancing herbs. 

Q: What’s your ultimate period self-care routine? 

Mine, without a doubt, is resting and having time to myself to reflect on life. I like to do that in the bath, or on a walk in nature. 

Q: What does menstrual wellbeing mean to you? 

I’ve made my mission of raising awareness around menstrual well-being shape my entire life so I guess it must mean a lot. Personally, I’ve found that menstrual well-being forms the very centre of my healthy lifestyle and that helps me keep on track with the habits I put in place.

Ever wondered what it’s really like playing Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck at Disneyland? We spoke to an anonymous former fur character to find out! 

From the intense audition process to the emotional reactions from parents and children and the reality of life behind the giant fuzzy costume, here’s what a once-upon-a-time Mickey Mouse had to say about their time in the parks. 

Q: Which character did you play and which Disney were you located in?

I worked at Disneyland Paris for a year and was friends with a whole variety of characters! (Translation: being friends with a character is Disney speak for portraying a character). These included Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Timon, Stitch, Winnie the Pooh, and Piglet – these were the main ones, however, you used to get trained to be friends with additional characters if they needed them for special events or occasions. For example, Thumper used to meet during the Christmas season so you would have an afternoon of training to add him to your pack!

Q: What’s the hiring process like?

So, you attend an audition, which is usually held in London or Leeds. Once you enter you get measured – this then determines what characters you can be friends with. Everyone does an animation round which is a lot of improvising as different characters to show that you actually can act! People are then cut and a dance round begins. You’re taught a short piece of choreography that is still character-based so then you can show your dance skills whilst still portraying a character. After this, you’re then split up into two groups, those who can be friends with the characters and dance on parade and those who are only sticking to character sets – this is decided by how well you scored in the rounds.

People are then called up who potentially could be friends with face characters (princesses/villains) and are closely inspected and asked for any additional information like visible tattoos. If they’re successful they then go to another room for fittings to see if they’re able to be friends with the characters in mind.

Everyone else signs forms to say when their availability is and if there’s anything people should be aware of like asthma or being claustrophobic.

Q: Do you need to do a character study or go to Disney School?

Once you arrive you do a class called Traditions, this is where you learn about the Walt Disney Company and all about the parks. You then do a week of training which includes all the information you need to know about working there. You also do animation training and learn your friends’ autographs – need to see if you actually have eligible writing and can make your handwriting look different! After the week, you then are given a friend and you head out into the parks to see if your training has paid off – if not, you’re then sent home.

Q: What are the physical requirements for the role?

Face character roles revolve around your height and your look massively – after all, you are having to portray some of the most loved characters out there and children aren’t afraid to point things out! There’s such a wide height range between all the characters though so there is something for everyone. 

Q: How did you deal with the pressure to maintain the ‘Disney look’ you’re hired for? 

It differs between parks with this one. Some parks are ok with you having non-visible tattoos but other parks will give you a straight-up no and the same with coloured hair! It’s all changing a bit now as well with the Walt Disney Company bringing in inclusion as one of their keys (they call their brand values ‘keys’) so some of the Cast Members, especially in the States are truly portraying this now – a friend of mine met a male Cast Member on her recent holiday who was wearing glittery eyeshadow which I just LOVE!

Q: What experience do you need to land the part?

A lot of the Cast Members have had either acting, dance, or musical theatre training and that’s how they’re so quick on their feet with improvisation and are able to dance on the parades. However, a few people I knew just went to an audition on a whim and were naturally good at improvising so got the role! 

I’d say that improvisation is the biggest part though. You have to be so quick on your feet to think of your next move – pointing out people who have your characters’ faces on or dancing with little children. It’s important that each guest has a different interaction as they can all see you in the queue so you want to interact with them in a way that’s special to them!

Q: Is it true that you have to fit into costumes that already exist?

Yup! Your friend’s costume is shared by the whoooole company so if you don’t fit (even when you’re already backstage!) then sorry, it’s time to pack your bags.

Q: How long does it take to get into character before a shift?

This varies between your role. If you were friends with fur characters, you’d usually come in with your hair ready and bare-faced, find out your shift allocation and then get your stuff together – they allow you 30 minutes prep for this type of shift before your taxi comes and gets you.

If you’re friends with face characters, you’re given extra time because of having to sort out cosmetics etc. & before the parade everyone who is on has a run-through at a certain time of their routine a) so they know you can do it and b) so they know you still look good doing it.

Singers in the shows will do warm-ups to help them prepare as they tend to do multiple shows per day.

Q: Is there a certain amount of guest targets characters need to hit?

Nope! You’re on set for 30 minutes and the goal is to just keep getting the queue down whilst giving the guests a fun and memorable meet! If you’re too slow though it will get picked up on – same if you’re too fast!

Q: Did you have to practise your official Mickey signature?

You have to practice all your friends’ signatures to make sure they’re as close to the original as can be! & if they’re not, people will snitch on you for a bad signature!

Q: On a scale of 1 to FIRE, how hot is it under the costumes?

In the Winter it can be quite cosy! But in the Summer it can get pretty sweaty! However, when it reaches over a certain temperature they’ll lower the meet and greet times and cut choreography on parade for health and safety. When it’s too cold, they’ll also swap out characters so characters like Donald and Daisy will stay indoors because their legs are on display whereas characters like stitch will be able to go out and play!

Q: With fur characters, you’re using your body language to react and mime, how was that element of the role?

Yes, you’ll often see people asleep backstage! And it’ll also depend on who you’re friends with, as some are incredibly energetic (like Stitch) but some are tamer like Scrooge McDuck. You have to adjust stances as well so if you’re friends with Scrooge, you’re a weak old duck do have to adjust your stance to an elderly person which can then hurt the next day as you aren’t used to it!

Q: What’s the team energy like?

Depends who you’re on shift with! If you score lucky and end up with your friends you can have the best shifts ever but if you get people you don’t really know and there’s a language barrier it can be a pretty lonely day.

Q: How long are you guaranteed to be ‘friends with’ a certain character?

You could be friends with a new character that’s in your pack each day! Sometimes you would already know who you’d be friends with from what your timetable says (it would say a location) but if you were on character dining then it could be a gamble on who you would end up with.

Q: What’s the best / weirdest reaction you experienced from a guest?

There was a lot… I guess the most common one would be children when they don’t know where they’re putting their hands, so that’s something you have to manage!!

The best interaction would be an evening dining shift I did and there was a child who just wanted to cause mischief and of course, Donald Duck wasn’t going to say no. So Donald and this child spent some time sneaking up on other characters and scaring them, playing hide and seek, and getting up to all sorts! It’s those shifts that really do make you realise what joy you’re bringing to people’s lives.

Q: Does anyone ever try to get you to break character?

Absolutely! People try to tickle the characters to make them laugh, they try to sneak up on them, attempt to trip them up – no idea why!

Q: It’s pretty cool to make someone’s day! How was that side of the job?

It’s rewarding but it can be very emotional and hard. A lot of children use their Make a Wish experience to come to Disney and ask to see a specific type of character. As heartbreaking as it is, I’m also grateful that these moments can fulfil that child’s last wish. 

Q: Was anyone ever disastrously fired whilst you were working there? 

There actually wasn’t – the most excitement was people kicking off when they didn’t get the shift they wanted.

Q: Did it pay well? 

Yes, in terms of the fact that your rent was like 400 euros per month, including your bills!!! So it felt like you had lots of spare money because you weren’t paying normal rent!

Q: What was the best and hardest part of the job?

Best was definitely seeing how truly happy the characters make the guests. Whether it was on parade or in a meet and greet, the smiles the characters got back were magical to see!

Hardest was being away from friends, family, and partners. As much as everyone says ‘we’ll come out and see you’, the reality is they can’t because it’s expensive! Some days you work awkward shift times so it’s hard to catch up with people but thankfully you make lifelong friends whilst you’re out there to distract you.

Q: Biggest misconception about working as a friend of a Disney character?

That it’s easy work! A lot of people think anyone can do it and that it sounds like a dream life but it’s incredibly hard work! A lot of mental and physical energy goes into it and it can get quite testing at times.

Let’s face it, baby clothes are 10/10 cuter than adult sizes, and that’s a fact. Whether it’s an adorable summer dress or a teeny, tiny knitted romper, shopping for clothes for little ones- be it your own or those within your family or friendship group- is one of the most wholesome activities of all. Who needs a massage to relax when you can look at a tiny pair of socks and suddenly feel like everything is right in the world?!

From independent stockists on Etsy to the best of the high street, these easy, breezy summer picks are just a few of the adorable new additions Zoe has added to Ottilie’s wardrobe for the warm months ahead. Be it to catch some rays on Brighton beach or splash around in the paddling pool at home, it seems Ottilie’s always dressed to impress (and already way cooler than we’ll ever be).

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

Whether it be viral TikTok videos or Instagram infographics, hormones are a hot topic on the Internet at the moment, and for good reason…

The phrase ‘hormone hacking’ suggests that we hold the power to drastically change both how we feel and our body’s reaction to different scenarios, but what does it really mean to influence your hormones, and is it truly possible to change them in the long term? 

We spoke to Functional Medicine Doctor and founder of the Lantern Clinic, Dr Margarita Kitova-John, and Marisa Peer, world-renowned therapist, best-selling author and developer of the therapeutic method Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), to find out more…

What are hormones? 

“Hormones are essentially chemical messengers in the body,” says Dr Margarita. 

They travel around and affect different organs and tissues, working slowly and over time affecting various physiological processes including:

• Mood
• Growth and development 
• Metabolist: how the body gets nutrients and oxygen 
• Sexual function and reproduction.

“Hormones are produced by endocrine organs, which are groups of specialised cells, situated in different locations across the body. The endocrine glands include the pituitary, pineal, thymus, thyroid, adrenal, pancreas and sexual organs such as testes in men and ovaries in women. 

“Hormones are powerful substances! Even a small quantity of hormones can trigger a big reaction in cells across the body. For example, Insulin, produced by the pancreas is a response to food ingestion. It facilitates the digestive processes and controls the transfer of glucose from the bloodstream, into each human cell that needs it to function.” 

So, is it really possible to control or alter our hormones?

“While technically hormones can’t be controlled, certain lifestyle choices can influence them strongly,” says Dr Margarita. 

“For example, intermittent fasting has been scientifically proven to be an effective way to maintain healthy blood sugar levels, by reducing the release of insulin. A raw diet, higher in protein content and lower in processed carbohydrates, is also beneficial for lowering Insulin, as well as the stress hormone, cortisol. 

“When cortisol and adrenaline are high due to stress, their levels can be brought down effectively by deep breathing, cold water immersion, laughter and meditation. These interventions activate the rest and digest mode via the parasympathetic nervous system.

“While attempting to influence individual hormones with specific foods or activities, we must remember that hormones typically rely upon and play off each other. Rarely can you influence one hormone in isolation, without having an impact on others, since they work in an orchestrated way. Imagine the domino effect!” 

Whilst all hormones are necessary and helpful in our human experience, some undoubtedly feel nicer than others…

“Survival hormones adrenaline and cortisol are released when we are scared or in an intense situation, putting us in a “fight and flight mode”. Sweaty arms, butterflies in the stomach, high blood pressure and pulse and shallow breathing are all good signs that our body is getting a jolt of stress hormones. We are meant to experience these symptoms of “mobilisation” for short periods. In today’s 24/7 society, most of us function in a permanent fight and flight mode, leading to a multitude of biochemical changes, leading to diseases,” says Dr Margarita. 

One group of hormones are nicknamed “the happy hormones”, because of the happy and sometimes euphoric feelings they produce in us. Introducing: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins. 

Marissa Peer, best-selling author of Tell Yourself a Better Lie and world-renowned therapist and relationship expert, has spent much of her career exploring the ways in which we can individually create positive emotions by stimulating the happiness and love chemicals.

So let’s break down what these so called happy hormones are, and the times in which our bodies create them… 

Oxytocin

Known as the love hormone, oxytocin is produced when we have physical contact not only with a partner but also when our skin is caressed or touched, such as during a massage. Oxytocin is also an important hormone linked to childbirth and breastfeeding. We also create oxytocin when we stroke a pet and it’s responsible for that warm fuzzy feeling that also helps to combat stress. It creates a sense of trust and bonding.

Serotonin

As well as helping with sleep, it also affects your mood, your digestion and your ability to learn. If your serotonin levels are low, you can feel anxious or depressed, have trouble sleeping or constant fatigue as well as potential problems with your digestion.

Dopamine

Known as the ‘feel-good’ hormone, dopamine is associated with your motivation, your reward for that motivation and self-affirmation. If you had promised yourself the last scoop of ice cream once you’d done your chores only to get to the freezer and find someone’s beaten you to it, that could lower your dopamine levels. Dopamine plays a role in all sorts of the body’s functions from your response to stress, how you process pain and even your heart and kidney function.

Endorphins

Endorphins help boost happiness as well as acting as a natural pain reliever and means to cope with stress. They work in a similar way to opioid drugs and a reduction in endorphins can cause depression.

“You may think you can never have too much of a good thing but like life generally, maintaining a balance is always the best thing and the same is true of hormones. Your body is like a finely-tuned instrument so too little or too much of any hormone can have a negative impact on you,” says Marisa.

“Doing things to support the production of your happy hormones and trying to avoid stress or, being realistic, learning coping techniques, is the healthy way to approach life.”

So what can you do to positively support your body’s hormone production?

Exercise – aerobic exercise that gently increases your heart rate is a great mood enhancer, especially if it involves getting out into the fresh air and letting Mother Nature lift your mood. Swimming, dancing, group exercise classes and yoga are all great ways to contribute to a feeling of well-being.

Eating – pack plenty of healthy protein into your diet including oily fish like salmon and mackerel, nuts and white meat. Fresh fruit and vegetables are also good but especially dark leafy greens. Fermented foods are another good way of boosting your body including kombucha, homemade ginger beer and kimchi. 

Laughing – laughter is one of the best ways there is to produce happy hormones. It lowers your blood pressure, strengthens your abs, boosts special immune cells called T-cells and reduces stress hormones. Swap out gruesome true crime shows for something funny and make time for laughter at work with your colleagues.

Sex – as well as being great aerobic exercise, it will give your body a boost of oxytocin. “I call orgasms nature’s face cream as it helps women combat ageing as well as making them feel good,” says Marissa. 10/10 advice if we ever did see it.

Sleep – when we’re asleep our body produces less cortisol, the stress hormone. However, our bodies also work in sync with the amount of light we’re exposed to which is known as our circadian rhythm and functions over a 24-hour period. Our bodies like consistency so unless we get a regular night’s sleep at roughly the same time every night, it can knock our endocrine system out of balance.

Pets – once the stressful part of pet ownership is over (particularly the demands of puppies or kittens), they can support our mental well-being simply by their presence. When we stroke an animal or engage with them, we produce oxytocin.

Massage – whilst massage is a great way to relieve aches and pains as well as get our lymphatic system moving, the very fact of being touched by another human is one of its greatest benefits. It releases oxytocin and endorphins which is the reason we feel relaxed after a massage.

Get creative – whether it’s listening to music and having a dance or trying your hand at something new, letting go or challenging yourself in a different way will see your happy hormones dancing along with you.

Dealing with the downers

Focused breathing – when we’re feeling stressed, a great way to get those feelings under control is through focusing on our breathing. This will help reduce cortisol levels. Box breathing is one such approach where you breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, breathe out for four and then hold for a further four before beginning the exercise again. Make sure you breathe deeply into your diaphragm but don’t overdo it otherwise you risk hyperventilating. Breathing like this helps to turn your focus away from the stressor and create space to let go of the flight or fight instinct and look at a problem in a more considered way.

Natural light – getting out into the natural light, but especially sunlight, makes us feel good as it helps in the production of dopamine. Obviously it is important to adhere to the guidelines when we’re in direct sunlight. Come autumn and winter, many of us are noticeably aware that our mood alters when there is less sunlight. Getting outside whatever the weather will help but it’s also worth considering a specific light to help tackle SAD.

“There is plenty we can do to affect both the happy hormones and the ones that make us feel stressed. However, it’s probably better to try getting your happy hormones working harder for you as that way you’re making less room for stress to get in your way. Having said that, don’t expect miracles if you try something once and it doesn’t work for you – incorporate these positive approaches in your daily life for at least a month until they become habits. This will certainly bring the most benefit,” says Marissa. 

The bottom line 

“Hormones are involved in every aspect of human health and well-being and the body requires very specific amounts of them to function optimally. Hormone imbalance may increase the risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease and other health conditions. While the factors that affect the hormonal balance are beyond our control, we can take several steps to help manage the hormonal levels. Consuming nutritious foods, exercising regularly, and engaging in other health-promoting behaviours such as meditating may go a long way toward improving our hormonal health,” says Marissa.

Happy hormone hacking!  

This is a guest article written by The Know, for content pitches please email contact@zoella.co.uk

Let’s set the scene…

You’re watching TV on a Sunday morning, and decide to flip to the news channel. Immediately, flashing banners warn you that breaking news is on the way. The presenter speeds through a seemingly endless list of horrors. A scrolling bar at the bottom updates you on issues you didn’t even know existed. You turn off the TV to take a breather, and half-consciously start scrolling on your phone.

Social media only makes you more overwhelmed. Your habitual Instagram scroll feels like an obstacle course, filled with urgency, sensationalism, and negativity (accompanied by jealousy-inducing photos of your high school friends’ glamorous summer holidays, of course). You’re interested in some of the news you scroll past, but the stressful language and echo-chamber comments make you wonder whether it’s any good.

It’s overwhelming to say the least. Some headlines remind you of all the things that you’re already anxious about. Other headlines introduce people and problems you’ve never even heard of: anxiety yet to come. You lock your phone, turn it face down next to you, and declare once again that trying to keep informed is wrecking your mental health. You decide to break up with the news once and for all.

Sound familiar?

You’re far from alone. A recent report By Reuters and the University of Oxford found that almost half of Brits avoid the news. You can’t really blame them – who wouldn’t want to distance themselves from a constant barrage of negativity? 36% of people say that the news negatively impacts their mood, which makes it a hard sell – especially with our own financial, family, and mental health issues to deal with. 

But we also know that staying informed is extremely important (which might explain the bit of guilt that hangs around when you quickly scroll past a BBC post). We simply can’t work towards a better future if we are totally out of the loop. We need to understand the world we live in – after all, how can we vote on important issues if we don’t know much about them?

At The Know, our goal is to help people stay informed without getting overwhelmed – so, we’re basically experts on this subject (if we do say so ourselves). That’s why we know it’s truly possible to have it all: you can keep aware of current affairs, curate informed opinions, and still stay as stress-free as possible. 

How, you ask? We’ve got some tips! Here’s what we’ve found works for us and our readers as we build a healthy relationship with the news…

1. Choose sources you trust and limit the amount of time you allocate to them

The number of news sources competing for your attention can feel completely overwhelming. Pick two or three outlets you trust (and that don’t cause you too much anxiety), whether it’s a news app or a digestible daily newsletter. Build some time into your routine that’s dedicated to getting caught up (we recommend reading on your commute or while you drink your morning coffee!). Limiting news exposure to an allocated time will prevent the never-ending doom scrolling.

2. Take an axe to your Instagram feed

Unless your preferred method of keeping up with the news is on your socials, unfollow the news accounts that trigger your anxiety. Social media is already hard on our mental health – try to make it a more positive space by following upbeat or purely informative accounts, and leaving your actual news reading to other platforms. 

3. Seek out solutions and positive stories

While it’s certainly important to know about the not-so-good things that are going on in the world, it’s equally important to protect your mindset by finding the bright side of life. Traditional media tends to favour doom-and-gloom sensationalism, but some news outlets, like The Know, spotlight positive stories and the solutions that exist. It’ll help you remember that things aren’t *all* bad. 

4. Take part in your community

With a global news cycle, we can sometimes forget to focus on the issues that are under our nose – but the truth is, you’re much more likely to make a meaningful impact in your own town or neighbourhood. That’s because you know the needs and norms of your community better than any other – plus, you can see the positive impact first-hand and stay motivated to keep making change. Seek out Facebook groups that organise community-building activities, or look for opportunities to get involved on websites like Do It Volunteer.

5. Ditch the idea that you need to be an expert on everything. 

One of the fallacies that can make the news so overwhelming is that you need to know the ins-and-outs of every single issue. But the truth is that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to become an expert on every story. Make intentional choices to block out some of the noise that feels less essential. As for all the other stories – trust us, you won’t be quizzed on them.

But above all, remember not to be too hard on yourself! If you’re a total news junkie (like us!) it might be hard to break your consumption cycle, even if you know it’s doing you no good. Have some grace and remember that everyone can handle a different level of engagement – there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.

If you’re looking for a digestible way to stay in touch with current events, check out The Know’s free 5-minute daily newsletter. It’s easy to understand, extremely entertaining, and we start every day with a positive news story, guaranteed. 

POV: it’s hotter than the Med, you’re pedicure fresh and you’ve managed to align your annual leave with this glorious heatwave. There’s only one place to be – at the beach, dipping in and out of the sea and drying off in the sun all day. Potentially with that excessive floral parasol, you bought on a whim. What can we say, it’s a genre. 

No beach? No problem. These sultry reads are just as enjoyable on a grassy knoll in Primrose Hill as they are with a sea breeze and a sandy crotch. 

Whether you’re hankering for some armchair travel or here for the juicy romance, these are the books worth squinting under a bucket hat for.

Here’s our pick of carefree beach reads serving immaculate vibes only! 

1. A Theatre For Dreamers by Polly Samson

For a truly immersive read, look no further than A Theatre For Dreamers. Set on the bohemian island of Hydra in the 1960s, amongst a circle of artists and writers, this captivating story will transport you to the balmy days and intoxicating nights of Grecian summers past. Samson skilfully blends fact with fiction, creating an absorbing story with a glorious sense of place. It’s the ultimate hot weather read!

2. Until I Met You by Amber Rose Gill

Leave it to former Love Island star, Amber Rose Gill, to deliver a rom-com you’ll be desperate to couple up with this summer. 

Dubbed the most heartwarming, escapist romance of 2022, this binge-worthy debut, written in collaboration with Nadine Gonzalez, will certainly turn your head. 

It was meant to be the holiday of a lifetime for Samantha: the launch of her travel blog, her best friend’s wedding and – hopefully – her own marriage proposal. Until she finds herself on her way to Tobago – single.

Disillusioned with his corporate job on Wall Street, Roman is starting afresh in Tobago. He doesn’t need a distraction, especially a free-spirited travel blogger. But something about Samantha intrigues him.

As romance blossoms, Roman and Samantha must learn to risk their hearts. But when secrets are revealed, their new relationship is put in jeopardy. Now Samantha and Roman must decide what they really want. They came to Tobago to find themselves, but could finding each other be what they needed all along?

You’ll be rooting for Samantha all the way through. 

3. Honey & Spice by Bolu Babalola

Bolu Babalola understood the assignment because this book has everything you could ever want from a romance and more. It’s got the satisfying enemies to lovers trope, it’s got the strong female lead, it’s got the uni setting, it’s got h-e-a-t and it’s got banter – the vibes are simply immaculate.

It follows the sharp-tongued (and secretly soft-hearted) protagonist Kiki Banjo, a young Black British woman who has no interest in love. As the host of the popular student radio show, Brown Sugar, it is her mission to make sure the women who make up the Afro-Caribbean Society at Whitewell University also do not fall into the mess of ‘situationships’, players and heartbreak. But when Kiki meets the distressingly handsome and charming newcomer Malakai Korede – who she has publicly denounced as ‘The Wasteman of Whitewell’ – her defences are weakened and her heart is compromised. A clash embroils them in a fake relationship to salvage both their reputations and save their futures, and soon she finds herself in danger of falling for the very man she warned her girls about…

4. One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid

If you need any further convincing that Taylor Jenkins Reid is a goddess of the highest order, then allow One True Loves to settle the fact. 

In her twenties, Emma Blair marries her high school sweetheart, Jesse. They build a life for themselves, far away from the expectations of their parents and the people of their hometown in Massachusetts. They travel the world together, living life to the fullest and seizing every opportunity for adventure.

On their first wedding anniversary, Jesse is on a helicopter over the Pacific when it goes missing. Just like that, Jesse is gone forever.

Emma quits her job and moves home in an effort to put her life back together. Years later, now in her thirties, Emma runs into an old friend, Sam, and finds herself falling in love again. When Emma and Sam get engaged, it feels like Emma’s second chance at happiness.

That is, until Jesse is found. He’s alive, and he’s been trying all these years to come home to her. With a husband and a fiancé, Emma has to now figure out who she is and what she wants, while trying to protect the ones she loves.

Who is her one true love? What does it mean to love truly?

Let’s just say, it’s a good thing you’re at the beach so you can blame the ocean and the aggressive coastal hay fever for your sopping wet face because this book is straight up emotional damage territory. We do not deserve TJR! 

5. One Last Secret by Adele Parks 

From the Sunday Times Number One bestselling author of Both of You, comes a new addictive thriller and domestic noir about power, sex work, money and revenge. 

Set in a beautiful French chateau, One Last Secret follows Dora, a glamorous and whip smart escort who decides to take on one last job before leaving the industry, and all its dangers, for good. It should be a straightforward job, spending a week in the South of France, pretending to be the girlfriend of her ex-client Daniel but when Dora arrives at the chateau, it quickly becomes obvious that nothing is what it seems as she comes face-to-face with someone from her past…

Prepare to be on the edge of your sun lounger the whole way through.  

6. The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren 

The honeymoon of a lifetime… with her sworn enemy! 

Olive is always unlucky; her identical twin sister Ami, on the other hand, is probably the luckiest person in the world. While she’s about to marry her dream man, Olive is forced to play nice with her nemesis: the best man, Ethan.

Yet Olive’s luck may be on the turn when the entire wedding – except for Olive and Ethan – gets food poisoning, there’s an all-expenses-paid honeymoon in Hawaii up for grabs. Putting their mutual hatred aside, Olive and Ethan head for paradise. But when Olive runs into her future boss, the little white lie she tells him spirals out of control.

Forced to play loving newlyweds, she and Ethan find themselves in closer proximity than they ever expected. Soon, Olive finds that maybe she doesn’t mind pretending. In fact, she’s beginning to feel kind of . . . lucky.

Fun and fluffy to the max, The Unhoneymooners is the ideal read for anyone who needs to be rescued from a reading slump. Just prepare to go off buffets for a while. 

7. Every Summer After by Carly Fortune 

This book is getting all the buzz right now, as it should. Set in a lake house in Canada and told over the course of five years and one weekend in alternating timelines, Every Summer After is a big, sweeping look at love and the people and choices that mark us forever.

Five summers to fall in love. One moment to fall apart. A weekend to get it right.

A magazine writer has to make a choice when she returns to the lake she grew up on, and to the man she thought she’d never have to live without, in this achingly nostalgic debut.

They say you can never go home again, and for Persephone Fraser that has felt too true for the last decade, ever since she made the biggest mistake of her life. Instead of glittering summers on the lakeshore of her childhood, she spends them in a stylish apartment in the city, going out with friends, and keeping everyone a safe distance from her heart. Until the day she gets a call that sends her racing back to Barry’s Bay and into the orbit of Sam Florek.

For five summers, through hazy afternoons on the water and warm summer nights working in his family restaurant and curling up together with books-medical textbooks for him and work-in-progress horror short stories for her-Percy and Sam had been inseparable. And slowly that friendship turned into something breathtakingly more, before it fell spectacularly apart.

When Percy returns to the lake to attend Sam’s mother’s funeral, their connection is as undeniable as it had always been. Percy must confront the decisions she’s made and the years she’s spent punishing herself for them, in order to determine, once and for all, whether their love might be bigger than the biggest mistakes of their past.

Nuanced, poignant and utterly readable, this tantalising debut will have you in a chokehold. All aboard the hype train!

8. The Set Up by Lizzy Dent

If there’s one book you buy at the airport this summer, make it The Set Up. Fresh, funny and feel-good, Lizzy’s Dents hot new rom-com is the perfect companion for lazy afternoons in the sunshine. 

Astrology-obsessed Mara Williams’ story begins when she finds herself on an accidental solo holiday to Budapest, impersonating her fortune teller. Josef, a gorgeous Austrian cellist, sits down for a reading and before she knows it, she’s telling him his destiny will be sitting in a pub in the English seaside town of Broadgate on the last Friday of August and her name is Mara.

Enter Project Mara: three months to turn herself into the stylish, confident woman she’s always hoped to be. Meanwhile, the crumbling, formerly glamorous beachside pool club where she works is under threat and her eccentric colleagues enlist her help to save it, just as a handsome new housemate casts doubts on her ideas about “the one.” Can Mara pull off the transformation of a lifetime? And by summer’s end, will she know who is her destiny?

A warm uplifting read with Dent’s trademark dynamite wit! 

9. The Poet by Louisa Reid 

TW: Abusive relationships 

“Give me the confidence of a mediocre white man 

who thinks he has the right to 

a woman’s work – 

her words 

and womb – 

and everything else”

Written in verse and wildly original, this passionate tale of coercive control and female solidarity is nothing short of a work of art.  

Bright, promising Emma is entangled in a toxic romance with her old professor – and she’s losing control.

Cruel, charming Tom is idolised by his students and peers – confident he holds all the cards.

In their small Oxford home, he manipulates and undermines her every thought and act. Soon, he will push her to the limit and she must decide: to remain quiet and submit, or to take her revenge. 

The Poet is a portrait of a deeply dysfunctional relationship, exploring coercive control, class and privilege, but it is also a page-turning exploration of female solidarity and survival.

10. Outline by Rachel Cusk 

Fans of plotless books, we’ve got you! Outline is the first instalment in Rachel Cusk’s fictional trilogy, also featuring the novels Transit and Kudos.

Set during an oppressively hot summer in Athens, the story follows a novelist teaching a creative writing course. Whilst in Greece, Faye encounters all kinds of characters who talk to her intimately about their lives, whilst she remains largely silent on the subject of herself. It’s only through her observations and reactions to these personal tales that the reader gleans any sense of the narrator’s own story. She is, for the most part, “an outline”. 

Spare yet full of introspective brilliance, it’s already cemented itself as a 21^st century classic that any beach bag would be *blessed* to have. 

For fans of the Netflix favourite, Selling Sunset, you’ll remember Mary Fitzgerald sharing her fertility journey on the show and undergoing treatments to freeze her eggs so that she and her husband Romain Bonnet could have the best chance of having a family when they’re ready. 

In a video posted to her Instagram last month, the real estate agent, 41, opened up about their recent struggles and urged younger women to think about their fertility sooner rather than later. 

Captioning the heartfelt video, she said, “Update on my embryo freezing journey. This was definitely not the news we were hoping to get and while it is super disappointing, we are just keeping our heads up. PLEASE consider doing this at the youngest age possible if you know/think you want to have children. Sharing my experience in hopes of helping anyone who is interested in doing this process.”

So, when is the ‘right’ time to consider egg freezing and what are the next steps? 

For women and folks with wombs, your chances of conceiving naturally decrease as you get older because the quality and number of eggs drop with age. Egg freezing is a way of attempting to preserve a person’s fertility so they may try and have children at a later date. 

With that in mind, anyone who’s yet to meet the right person, unsure about having children, focusing on their career or undergoing treatment that can affect your fertility, egg freezing can be a great option if you’re not ready for pregnancy right now but want to preserve your eggs for future use. 

To find out more, we had the pleasure of speaking to the fairy godmother of fertility aka Zita West, internationally-renowned fertility and conception expert and Founder of the Zita West fertility clinic. 

From what to expect during the procedure to success rates and the optimum age to go for it, here’s everything there is to know about freezing your eggs, so that you can consider your options and get strategic with your fertility!

Q. Why would someone want to consider egg freezing? 

Increasingly, I see more and more women coming into the clinic wanting to freeze their eggs, particularly if they have reached their late thirties but don’t feel ready to have children, haven’t met the right partner or have been diagnosed with an illness such as cancer.

Q. How does the egg freezing process work?

The egg freezing procedure works in a very similar way to IVF but without having the embryo to put back. There is an initial consultation where a woman will have her egg reserves assessed by blood tests looking at AMH, which is the Anti Mullerian Hormone, and an ultrasound scan, which is called an antral follicle count, which counts the number of follicles on the ovaries. This gives the doctors an idea of how a woman is likely to respond to treatment and to decide on the protocols and drugs to use as well as a rough indication of how it will go.

It’s quite an intense procedure and many women underestimate what is involved – the only difference with this and IVF is that the eggs are then fertilised at this point and made into embryos when you’re undergoing IVF.

Once you decide you want to use them, the process would then be the same as IVF where the egg is then fertilised with your partner’s or a donor’s sperm. 

Q. How long does egg collection take and is it a painful procedure?

Egg collection takes place around 37 hours after the trigger injection and it requires only light sedation, not as strong as a general anaesthetic. You can expect to be at the clinic for around 4 hours and you will need someone to take you home afterwards.

Q. How long is the recovery / downtime after the procedure?

You wouldn’t go back to work that day so you may have a day or so off, but it depends on how many eggs have been produced and collected. If you’ve had a lot, then you’re going to be quite sore abdominally and you need to rest. 

Q. Is there an ideal age to freeze your eggs?

Age is the biggest determining factor in the success of egg freezing. Typically, the younger the eggs, the more chromosomally normal they will be, while the older you are, there is an increasing chance of more chromosomally abnormal eggs and a likelihood of lower reserves.

Q. How many rounds are required for egg retrieval?

If you’re 37 or younger and have a normal ovarian reserve you’re likely to retrieve around 13 eggs per cycle. If you’re older than 38 however and have a low ovarian reserve, ideally you will want to freeze 20-30 eggs in order to achieve a baby and this is rarely possible in just one egg freeze cycle.

Q. How many eggs would you be looking to retrieve to be able to freeze for future use?

It’s important to realise that a number of eggs will be lost during the thawing process, so if the count is low, it will mean that you will have to do the procedure more than once in order to get the amount needed to increase your chances of getting pregnant. It is also important to understand that it is not just about the production of eggs, it is about ensuring we get mature eggs that are viable for freezing.

Q. Once a patient has decided they want to use the eggs they’ve frozen, what’s the next step? Is it the same as IVF at that point? 

Many women I see are unaware of the fact that egg freezing involves going through a similar process to IVF in order to collect the eggs. To collect the eggs, your ovaries need to be stimulated, which involves injections and you will also have a number of scans to check how your follicles are growing. You produce lots of eggs in any one month during a natural cycle but only one egg is usually released, so for egg freezing the aim is to produce a larger number of eggs. 

Q. What’s the success rate for IVF with frozen eggs? 

To date, there have not been enough live births in the UK to be able to satisfactorily assess the success rate of egg freezing, but indications suggest it is between 30 – 50%.

Q. How much does egg freezing cost?

On average, it costs around £5,000 to do the procedure. So you can imagine, if you’re doing two or three rounds of egg collection then it can become rather expensive.

Q. Once your eggs are frozen, how long do they last?

UK regulation only permits eggs to be frozen for 10 years. There is the possibility of obtaining an extension for up to 55 years, but only if you are able to demonstrate that you have become prematurely infertile. However, it is important to understand that if you experience normal age-related fertility decline then you won’t be considered prematurely infertile and would not be able to extend the storage period of your eggs.

Q. Do you have to pay to store them, at all?

This is definitely something that needs to be considered when first thinking about egg freezing, as it is worth bearing in mind that once your eggs have been harvested, you’ll need to pay for storage. This can be several hundreds of pounds per month, but many clinics offer egg freezing packages, which include storage for two to three years. 

Q. Can you do anything to improve your chances of a successful outcome / improve egg quality? 

I am a big believer in the importance of preparation on every level – mentally, physically and emotionally – prior to undergoing the egg freezing procedure to help improve the quality of your eggs.

One of the most important ways a woman can prepare for egg freezing, is to ensure the specific nutritional requirements of an egg are being met.

Zita West

This means building nutrients into your diet or looking at supplements such as antioxidants and inositol where necessary, as they can really help in that preparation process and make sure you give yourself the best chance of success.

Q. Would you recommend egg freezing for someone who is considering it?

In my opinion, I think egg freezing is a good solution. I think it offers women options, which they haven’t had before, and for many women it is about looking back and having no regrets.

For so many women, they may be ambivalent about having a baby, they may not have met the right person or be at the right stage in their lives, then they wake up at 40 and decide that they do want a baby, so egg freezing does offer them hope. The biggest factor I try to get across to women is they should prepare for delays in fertility – as, on average, it can take eight months to get pregnant and miscarriage is quite common. So, then a year has gone by without a pregnancy, and you pick yourself up and start again, which is very hard to do – it’s all about looking ahead and being strategic about your fertility.

Imagery in this article was sourced from Depositphotos

So you said ‘yes’- congratulations! If you recently got engaged and are flying high in a bubble of love and well wishes, welcome to a period of your life you’ll treasure forever. Amongst the excitement and anticipation there will likely be some anxiety too, as you wonder where the f*ck to begin and how to make your Pinterest vision board a reality- if that’s the case, you’re not alone. 

If you’ve recently got engaged and are in need of some hand-holding at the beginning of your wedding planning journey, look no further. With advice from professional wedding planners, florists and party experts, consider this your one-stop-shop for all things getting started in saying ‘I do’!

Firstly, the key thing to remember is to enjoy this stage – there are so many exciting aspects of a wedding to get prepped and ready for! This is your special day and no one else’s, so take opinions with a pinch of salt and remember what you’re aiming for. Deep breaths!

Now down to business. 

Type of wedding & budget

“Firstly, you need to decide what type of wedding you want i.e. church, registrar or a celebrant-led one, as this will determine your venue,” says Kate Beavis, Founder of the contemporary wedding blog Magpie Wedding and The ECO Wedding Shows. 

“The venue is the largest part of your budget (about 48% including food) and needs to be booked first. It is also a good idea as a couple to consider how you are going to plan it – what the budget is, and who will be doing what in the process, ensuring you plan it as a team. 

“Before the pandemic, the average wedding cost was over 30K, but since Covid hit it’s anticipated that 2022’s average will be way lower. This is partly due to money being tighter for many, but also many are choosing to have smaller weddings or choosing less “stuff” for the day. Food and venue is the largest part at about 48%. Then the next biggest spend is your photography and your dress (about 8% each). You can actually get married for £35 each if you choose to have a registry office wedding and nothing else! 

The venue 

The venue is the big one, so what do you need to know before deciding on yours? 

• What dates are available? 
• What do you get for your budget – some have their own caterers, some don’t. 
• Are you able to bring in your own suppliers as some prefer to use their own? 
• How many guests can it cater for? 
• How accessible is it in case any of your guests need better accessibility?
• Also, don’t forget to try the food!

Speaking of budget, when is the most expensive time to tie the knot? “Traditionally summer was classed as peak season and therefore more expensive but this really is a thing of the past,” says Kate.  “What you do need to consider is the weather (do you want a larger risk of snow, heatwaves etc) and what will be in season especially if you want to choose local suppliers to make a more sustainable day. For example, peonies are in bloom in late spring, so if your heart is set on them, bear this in mind Blair Waldorf’s of the world! Christmas, New Year’s Eve and bank holidays are not necessarily more money but more sought after so get booked fast if a winter wonderland is on your vision board. 

Photography

One thing you won’t regret splurging on? Photography! 

“It’s so easy to think your friend can do it, but the photos are with you forever. Choose a photographer you get on with and create images that you love rather than simply choosing the cheapest one. Also do think about hair and makeup – you may think you can do it yourself but you want to look amazing all day, in all lights, so I would suggest using a pro,” says Kate.

Flowers

Next up, flowers. UK Bride estimates you should allocate around 15% of your overall spend for flowers, and sustainable wedding florist Imogen Stuckes is here to explain why…  

“Wedding flowers are usually created completely bespoke to the couple, you’re not just buying a standard pre-made bouquet from a shop, and so it takes a lot of time to design, hold consultations, do site visits, create proposals, source flowers, organise logistics for the day. As well as the time and creative expertise required, weddings require a lot of actual flowers to create the designs. Even bridal bouquets have a multitude of individual different types of flowers to make them as varied and beautiful as possible, when you’re getting onto installations such as an arch that could use over 300+ stems of flowers.

“Weddings usually take up a whole weekend, even weeks with preparations (and the months before that designing and organising), as well as coming back and taking it all down the next day and so the cost of time for all of that has to be taken into consideration too. I would say most florists have at least a £500 minimum spend for weekend weddings, as it takes up so much time creating something so bespoke. This would get you a bridal bouquet, a couple of bridesmaid bouquets, a few buttonholes, some minimal table décor for the reception venue. I would advise saving between £1000-2000 minimum if you’re looking for installations too such as urns, a flower cloud or arch.

“Ideally having a venue sorted is great if you want a lot of reception flowers, as your florist can then design/quote the florals bespoke to the venue. The main thing I would suggest is contacting your florist as early as possible as they do get booked up! Having a Pinterest board or something similar is a lifesaver for florists to get an idea of exactly what you are after. Also ensure you have looked at their website/Instagram so you know their style and ensure it aligns with what you want before you contact them. Florists don’t tend to deviate from their style, so don’t go to a sustainable wild, garden style florist if you want a bouquet of dyed blue roses and orchids!

Timings

Finally, and most importantly when at the start of your planning process- timings. In terms of a schedule, set yourself a realistic time frame, say Fizzbox– the Brighton based online marketplace for group experiences from bottomless brunch to Cabaret- perfect for hen and stag dos! There will be lots of weddings scheduled for the following year, so don’t rush the process and add unnecessary stress if you don’t have to. It’s a good idea to start planning about 18 months beforehand if you want a big wedding, especially as wedding venues are booked up for two years ahead and wedding dresses can take 6-8 months to make! Smaller and simpler days can be turned around far quicker, but to avoid disappointment it’s best to allow more time than less.  

The Quick Fire Round!

With Kate Beavis from Magpie Weddings…

What is the etiquette on the bride buying the bridesmaids dresses?

No rules, it is your wedding! Many couples now ask the bridesmaids to buy their dresses but this really is up to you. What is more important is to communicate with them to see what they want to wear, what they would wear again (more eco!) and also what suits their shapes.  

…. and plus ones!

Plus ones – again this is down to the couple and the budget. You may feel that a certain guest that you really want to be there will only come if they can bring someone and therefore choose to let them. As long as you have the budget.

How do you cut the guest list if needed?

Start with you HAS to come and work from there. Maybe reduce plus ones and children if needed

Advice on making the table plans!

Many couples now don’t have a top table or indeed seating plans. My advice is if people don’t get on, let people sit where they want. Think about who knows each other and who will get on – and put couples together. I hate it when I am split up from my husband and left with people I don’t know!

Kids or no kids? What should be considered… 

Totally up to you! If you have kids there, think about how to entertain them as it can get boring for them. How about hiring someone to look after them or creating a  kids zone with activities for them to enjoy. Remember also many parents would love a day child free and it may be more relaxing for them!

What’s the typical running order of the day? 

Ceremony, then drinks reception. Photos then food, then more photos, then party! Really there should be no rules for this – do what you want!

Post-pandemic, is it still possible to get wedding insurance? 

Yes and you should! You won’t get one that covers Covid but you still need insurance in case any supplier goes out of business or lets you down.

How to avoid planning burnout?

Work together – you are a team! Delegate things to close family too. Remember you are getting married and this is what is important – so focus on the two of you. Plan dates and breaks from planning.

Is it okay to ask family members to help with costs? 

This totally depends on your family and affluence. Some parents still pay for weddings, but many cannot afford to so it shouldn’t be expected.

Are wedding hashtags still a thing?

They are a great way for finding images on Instagram after the event – so yes they are! But many couples are trying to have unplugged weddings with no phones making the wedding # a thing of the past!

And enjoy! “It’s so important to make sure you soak up every single moment of your big day” says the Fizzbox team. “Make sure you’re surrounded by all your favourite people, particularly in the run-up to the ceremony. They’ll be the ones to calm your last-minute nerves, hand you a glass of something crisp and bubbly and to iron out any last-minute wrinkles (be they in your outfit or solely metaphorical!)

“Don’t be afraid to give people jobs to do on the day to minimise your stress as much as possible – it’s what your bridesmaids and groomsmen are there for! As we mentioned earlier, the most important two people throughout the day are you and your partner. Everyone else is going to want to help you both have the best and smoothest running day as possible.

“Last of all – take a breath! You’re finally there. Amongst all the hustle and bustle of choosing flowers and dresses, deciding on menu options and what the song you should have your first dance to should be, it can be easy to lose sight of the whole reason why everyone has congregated together today: to celebrate love.”

Ibiza, Cancun, Shagaluf – wherever their party destination of choice, lads’ holidays can feel like the real life Casa Amor test, striking fear in the most trusting of partners and creating sleepless nights for the one left at home sniffing their aftershave-soaked jumper. Alexa, play All By Myself.

For anyone going through a similar situation and dreading their S.O boarding that flight, Team Zoella are on hand to reassure you that a) trust is king, and b) the worst confessions usually involve poo, not pussy. Whatever happens on a lads’ holiday rarely stays on a lads’ holiday, more’s the pity. 

In this month’s BYAM, we’re also answering your questions on how to handle mixed-income friendships. Klaxon: money differences between friends don’t have to be awks. To paraphrase Louis Theroux’s iconic rap, letting them know that your money *does* in fact jiggle, jiggle whilst theirs *folds* is no biggie, and whilst you’d love to be their Soho House guest of choice, chugging back £16 picantes like the cost of living crisis doesn’t exist, that champagne lifestyle won’t fund itself. Have you seen the price of butter lately? Outrageous. Quality time with your besties doesn’t have to be fancy – the best things in life are free (ish) after all, and nothing unites pals quite like a cheap day at the beach, with a warm cup of wine and a full heart. 

Keep reading for the team’s two cents on all that and more, in this month’s Between You and Me agony aunt column. 

Darcey says…

Hey anon! This is quite a tricky situation and I wish I had more info on why you hate it so much, but I can imagine feeling a bit left out is probably quite high on the list of reasons? It must be quite strange seeing two of your friends date because they were people who were solely there for you and now you have to share them in some new way, so I totally understand disliking it. I do think though you should give it some time, you might find it brings you all closer together or your individual friendships aren’t affected at all, I suppose the worry also is that they might decide to split at some point or things end badly and you end up in the middle. There’s nothing wrong with implementing some boundaries, maybe explain to them both that you are happy with them dating (white lies hurt no one haha) but that you really value the one-on-one time you get with them and also never want to be put in a position where you have to pick a side. Unfortunately, you can’t tell them they can’t date and I think you know that too, there’s a chance your friends have both found their soulmates and how beautiful is that? Ride it out for now and see how things progress with them, while still making the same effort you would with your separate friendships and see how it all goes.

Lily says…

Hello Anon! So the questions running through my brain are: is this just from feeling left out? Do you subconsciously have a crush on one of your friends? Or perhaps you just don’t like how the friendship dynamic has changed since they started dating?

If it’s just purely feeling left out or left behind and it is really upsetting you then you can either give it some more time or if you have already made this step then this can be sorted through clear communication. Sit them both down and express how you feel. Tell them that you want to spend more time as a group like it was before and that you want to feel more included! It might just be that they are getting carried away with this new flame and forget to make time as a group!?

Lily says…

First things first, feeling this way is very common, so don’t feel alone in this! Not everyone will be earning the same amount (at any age/stage) and will have different finical outgoings. So, with that in mind, be prepared for different incomes/money situations within a friendship group to be a challenge. However, the best thing you can do is be honest with your friends if you’re unable to join things that you can’t budget. Explain what you are comfortable affording/doing if the next plan is one that you will struggle to participate in! Compromise is key within any style of relationship.

Keep in mind though that if you are in the right friendship group then there will be no issues once this has been raised!

Liv says…

Firstly, this is a super common worry to have. Remember that iconic episode of friends? The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant? It’s a tough thing to bring up with your friends and it can take some confidence. I think you need to fully accept the stage of life you’re at and be confident in your path then it’s something that will feel easier to discuss. When you do feel like you can speak to your friends about it, as your friends they should be understanding and you never know, some of them might be feeling the same way. Please remember that salaries, ingoings and outgoings are different for everyone and can change a lot! Hope the conversation goes well when you speak to them!

Danielle says…

OOF I absolutely feel you with this one just the words ‘Lads Holiday’ sent a shiver down my spine, I’m sure we all saw this year’s Casa Amor antics on Love Island and have collectively come to the conclusion that men really ain’t sh*t. I also did two seasons working in Malia when I was 19/20 and saw the absolute worst of the worst when it came to men openly cheating on their girlfriends without a shred of remorse. It’s such a bizarre fallacy that guys use the opportunity to do whatever they want and know their mates won’t say a word, cowards! The tough part is that there really isn’t anything you can do to stop if if your BF is one of “those” guys, you just have to trust him try and relax as much as you can and look out for some signs when he’s back because realistically you have to trust him like you’d want to be trusted – it’s the foundation of your relationship.

Everyone loves the phrase if he wanted to, he would and you can apply it to cheating – if he wants to stay faithful he will and trying to micro-manage your relationship before he goes will only be frustrating and tense. Maybe have a chat before he goes and re-iterate that cheating will most definitely end your relationship and if you find out you will immediately end things without taking him back, tell him you deserve a certain level of communication like texting you when he gets in from a night out and texting or calling every morning. When he’s home keep an eye out if he’s distant or not his usual self as these are tell-tale signs something has happened! I’m sure everything will be absolutely fine, try not to stress yourself out <3

Darcey says…

Ah the lads holiday! I have seen this topic all over my TikTok fyp recently and it’s making these holidays look like something straight out of a horror movie. However, I do think we are being shown the worst of the worst online when probably most lads holidays are just them and their mates wanting to have a good time together. I don’t think lads holidays are all about sex and pulling as many people as they can, but I know some are, which is of course only fine if they are single. I do get that the notion of a lads holiday does give off big wanting to shag only vibes and I must admit if I had a boyfriend and he wanted to go to Magaluf as an example for a week with all his single mates I’d be a bit like, but why? But like I said earlier, they might just genuinely want to spend time with their mates, drinking and enjoying the beaches etc in the day.

If you are stressing I’d try and think rationally about how your partner usually behaves and if you trust him on any normal night out, I think it’s unlikely a loyal boyfriend will cheat just because they are on holiday (I’m assuming cheating is what you are worried about!). At the end of the day you cannot control what your partner will do on that holiday, you just have to trust they will respect you and your relationship. So don’t fret the whole time and stress yourself out, how he behaves and his communication with you while on holiday will be big indicators of his commitment, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about!

Lareese says…

What’s happened in America is dystopian to say the least. This is a war on women and people with wombs at this point and a violation of human rights, and I think we’re all collectively shocked, enraged and heartbroken that our bodies – the bodies of our US sisters – are still in someone else’s hands in 2022. It is barbaric and inhumane. As a fundamental expectation of being human, we should all have bodily autonomy and access to reproductive care, and there are so many things wrong with forcing someone to continue an unwanted pregnancy to term under the guise of ‘pro-life’ with absolutely no regard for the mother’s own. Overturning Roe v. Wade, thus removing the constitutional right to abortion and stripping 36 million US women of their right to choose, won’t stop them from happening, it simply pushes them underground, making them more dangerous, especially for the poor and marginalised.

Here in the UK, we’ve had the Abortion Act since 1967, meaning you can legally have an abortion up to 23 weeks and 6 days of pregnancy. From what I understand, the only way such a law can be repealed is if parliament wants to repeal it. This is extremely unlikely given that a political party would need to push through a proposal and get enough votes to make it happen. We could potentially see amendments to the original act but again, this would mean introducing private member’s bills / the Lords agreeing with the amendments, thus seems highly unlikely and controversial. Given that abortions are still technically a criminal offence in England and Wales under the 1861 Offences against The Person Act, meaning they’re only legal under certain circumstances, there’s still work to do here to make abortions more accessible for all.

Whilst the reality of this life-changing regression on reproductive rights in the US is impossible to absorb, the fight doesn’t end here. We can use our power, both in the US and the UK, to vote against arbitrators of such systems. Be loudly and unashamedly pro-choice, continue the fight for safe, legal abortions and sign petitions to put pressure on our government to do something. As Glennon Doyle said, “It is okay to feel afraid and tender now. Soon, the anger returns and we fight like bloody hell. First the pain, then the mother fucking rising.” Solidarity with you and the women of America, always xx

Maddie says…

At Zoella we firmly believe that women should have the right to do what they feel is best for their bodies and for themselves which includes complete autonomy over their reproductive rights. We were completely heartbroken to hear the news of Roe vs Wade being overturned. This decision will leave thousands of women and families without safe access to abortions and will disproportionally affect disadvantaged women from low-income backgrounds. Some of the stories we’ve all heard over the last few weeks are harrowing and absolutely archaic. I agree it’s incredibly frightening that this could even be possible but I hope it reassures you that the process of overturning bills in this country is very different to America where just 6 judges were able to make this decision themselves. I don’t pretend to know the political nuances however I found this video from James Cordon helpful and I hope you find some comfort watching it.

Charlotte says…

Hello! It’s super positive that you have strong feelings for your boyfriend and to be honest I think this situation can be remedied with a bit more communication and perseverance which is great! If you’ve never heard of love languages then it may be about to change your life …

The theory goes that the 5 love languages outline the general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, and are categorised as words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. There’s a test you can do online to see what yours is, but if it’s affection you’re after then it sounds like yours may be physical touch!

It can be really helpful to know, especially in new relationships, what your partner’s love language is, and to be honest until you do then relationships are essentially a bit of a stab in the dark! Your boyfriend might think he’s showing you love in the way he thinks is best, but if he’s buying you gifts and little treats throughout the month but all you truly want is to spend some quality, uninterrupted time together, you can see how things can get lost in translation. I would bring it up sooner rather than later and it might even be fun to take the test together- I have no doubt it will strengthen your relationship! Good luck!

Lareese says…

Like Charlotte, I’d be inclined to suggest getting to know both yours and your partner’s love language. It sounds like you might fall into the physical touch or words of affirmation camp, whist he may communicate his love and affection in other ways such as acts of service or quality time. If the concept of love languages is new to you, check out this blog post we did for reference. It might help you get your head around what expressing love and affection looks like to you, vs how your boyfriend ticks.

As with any relationship, new or old, communication is king, and understanding how you both give and receive love and affection can do wonders for ensuring you feel seen, heard and appreciated. It sounds like a good heart to heart is in order as usually (from my experience anyway!) they’re pretty oblivious to these things until you spell it out to them, haha. I want to reassure you that just because you show love differently to him, it doesn’t mean that you’re incompatible, or that your relationship is doomed. Just because your love language differs from his doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a wonderful, loving relationship full of affection and intimacy, it just means you get to experience love in a whole myriad of ways, some of which might be more subtle but just as meaningful as the lovey dovey declarations of love. As long as you’re on the same page with one another’s needs, and both do your bit to ensure the other person is fulfilled, that’s all that matters. Talk it through, express what you need, hear him out and manage your expectations of how he best communicates his love for you, and go from there. I’ve every faith this is nothing a good honest talk can’t fix.

Maddie says…

Sorry to hear that your brother-in-law isn’t treating his family as well as he once was, that must be really hard to witness. I wonder whether something has happened that could be the reason for his behaviour shift? I think if I was in your shoes I would speak to my sister 1-2-1 and gently ask her if everything is ok. Tell her you’ve noticed a few comments or behaviour changes recently and that you’re just concerned and want to make sure she’s ok but also that he’s ok. Try not to point fingers or come in too strong as that’s when people can quickly get defensive and protective which may lead to further tensions in the family. Often an outsider’s perspective is exactly what people need to make them realise what’s going on right in front of their noses. I hope things get better for them and it’s just a bit of a rough season, I think all you can do is be supportive to your sister and make sure that she knows you’re there for her if she needs it.

Charlotte says…

I’m so sorry to hear your friend is struggling and that it’s impacting your friendship. I have no doubt it’s proving difficult for both of you for different reasons so I hope you’re doing okay!

As someone who has struggled with their mental health on and off for 10 years now, I’ve definitely been through patterns of being a really present and good (hopefully!) friend, as well as times when I feel like I’ve probably made things harder for those around me, so I really do empathise with your pal in this situation. No matter what she’s battling, I can only imagine that she’s probably also aware of the strain it’s putting on the relationships around her and no doubt feels a sense of guilt and responsibility for that. I definitely understand it must be frustrating from your perspective, but I think a little time and leeway here would probably go a long way. In the words of Ronan Keating, life is a rollercoaster sometimes and having friends who can support you through the ups and the downs is so rare and special- I have no doubt that regardless of her current behaviour she appreciates you being that person for her.

If you’re finding her difficult to be around or her struggles are really impacting you then I’d suggest maybe distancing yourself from her a little if it feels like that would help you. It’s okay to prioritise yourself and your needs in this situation and simply take a breather so that you can help support her better when the time feels right. Before doing so I’d try to make sure she does have people around her to lean on, but I think finding a balance between supporting yourself and her is key! Best of luck!

Liv says…

This feels like a tricky situation for both of you. Your friend sounds like they are currently going through something that is impacting your friendship and I’m sorry that it’s having an effect on you. If I was in your situation I would try and speak to my friend and explain how I am feeling whilst being sympathetic to their situation. Take the time to explain how their actions are making you feel, they probably don’t notice that they are being unkind and are caught up in their crisis. I also think you need to know your self-worth in this situation and if they continue to be unkind knowing how you feel maybe start to focus your time and energy on those who are kinder to you.