Queen of the at-home vlog, lo-fi photo dump and getting a ‘love ya’ out of Jack Harlow at the top of the Met Steps (*faints*), Emma Chamberlain is Internet royalty at its finest. Transitioning from challenge videos and vlogs with friends to becoming synonymous with iconic French fashion house Louis Vuitton, Emma has done a 180 in cementing herself as a style A-lister who can pull off a floor-length gown at the Oscars, or slay just as hard in a casual denim short and vest look. Combining Y2k aesthetics, dopamine dressing, and a mix of indie and high fashion brands, her style is eclectic, playful and effortlessly cool at its core.

From micro-mini skirts to itty bitty crop tops, puffer coats and ironic graphic tees, keep scrolling for the ultimate rundown of Emma-approved wardrobe essentials you need in your wardrobe if channelling Gen-Z cool is your aim…

The Rich Coastal Auntie Look

You’ve heard of the Coastal Grandma trend, but if Rich Coastal Auntie were a thing, you’d find this photo next to the dictionary definition. Channelling the ultimate French Riviera vibes, Emma makes a case for the 60s hair scarf and sunnies combo, and looks effortlessly cool whilst doing it. All that’s needed to complete the look is a red convertible Ford Mustang, a winding seaside road and a certain mysterious man at the wheel. We can dream, right? 

Justice for the Jort!

No one does denim like Emma. A staple in most of our wardrobes, there’s something about denim on Ms Chamberlain that just hits different. Styled simply for the summer months with white vests, bikini tops and minimal accessories, turns out Jorts aren’t an ick after all! Jorts might be synonymous with the early noughties and less-than lovely trends we’d rather not revisit, but with Emma’s expert guidance, they work perfectly styled with more form-fitting silhouettes and relaxed beachy looks. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it! 

The Ironic Noughties Vest Top 

The backdrop is possibly the most beautiful view on earth but are we still just looking at Emma? Yes, yes we are. Slaying as hard in a thrift shop tee as she does in Louis Vuitton, graphic tees may have had their heyday in the 2000s, but once again we’re heading straight to Google to recreate this look, stat. The 2022 revival of ironic ‘meme’ worthy tops originally inspired by celebs like Britney Spears wearing the iconic “Dump Him” shirt, or Paris Hilton in her famous “STOP BEING DESPERATE” tank top is here to stay, and Etsy, Depop and thrift or vintage stores are the place to go in securing your own Internet approved version.

All Hail The Micro Mini Skirt

Micro skirt, maximum impact. Bare leg weather is here (if the British weather got the memo) and Emma certainly makes a case for the ultra mini-skirt trend. The Y2K aesthetic that has consistently been taking the fashion world by storm over the past 12 months is here to stay, with brands such as Miu Miu at the forefront of the mini-mission. Grab yourself a matching barely-there top and follow in Emma’s footsteps with a seriously leggy ‘fit that serves serious wow factor.

Dad Vest, But Make It Cool

Giving BDE (Big Dad Energy), have you ever seen a gilet and linen pants look cooler? Us neither. A more mature look for autumn in ‘Pah-ree’, the combination of the yellow tinted lenses and neutral garms is the ultimate in chic streetwear that’s both practical and looks divine. A different vibe for Emma who is more commonly seen sporting a playful vibe, it seems there’s simply nothing she can’t pull off. Dad dressers unite! 

The Ultimate In Loungewear Lovin’

Now whilst 2020 might feel like a (somewhat) distant memory, our love for loungewear is one part of lockdown living we have gladly carried over – what is the meaning of life if not to be comfy?  In the same way that Emma so effortlessly nails Met Gala and red carpet looks like a pro, it seems the off-duty model aesthetic is one that comes to her similarly easily. A white tank, grey joggers and classic Emma visor shades are giving COMFYchella in the best way. Proof once more that basics done right can look chic as ever. 

A Gen Z Love Story: Tucker + Emma + *The* Black Puffer

The internet imploded after Emma’s cameo in boyfriend Tucker Pillsbury’s (known professionally as Role Model) music video for neverletyougo, and the one-shot magic that showed the pair walking through city streets in matching black vinyl puffer coats- a work of art. Emma has long since loved a puffer jacket, from styling them with her classic ultra mini skirts or a laid-back pair of straight-leg jeans, the queen of layering strikes again providing all the inspiration for easy-breezy looks that are both stylish and practical. Get a girl who can do both!  

A 90s Itty Bitty Top Resurgence

Finally, it wouldn’t be an Emma Chamberlain style roundup without mention of her crop top collection and her less is more approach to styling. The 90s style influences are most evident when looking at Emma’s itty bitty tops- we’re talking Beyonce, Britney and Jennifer on the red carpet vibes-  and although we may have been reluctant to see low rise fashion make a comeback, Emma makes a strong case for its resurgence.   

On the Day of the Dads, aka Father’s Day, we can think of no better gift for the man who’s notoriously hard to buy for than some loving words that sum up the history of dadness. 

We’re celebrating just some of their weird and wonderful ways – the idiosyncrasies, sayings, unique rituals and precious personality traits that make dads who they are. From the way they tolerate spiders (and our bullshit tbf) and their questionable SPF application to their obsession with basic car maintenance, airport timings and *dramatic* sneezing, let’s hear it for the darling DIY-loving dads who rule our world!

The thumbs-up emoji is his preferred and often only form of communication. Likes ginger beer. On great terms with Siri. “Have you got enough petrol?” Obsessed with the bin days. Lawn care is his self-care. Must shake food before eating. Usually nuts. Takes the BBQ very seriously. Must get to the airport 10 hours early just because… he’d rather get there early. Insists on telling the taxi driver the fastest route. Aggressively RUNS ahead of you in his cargo shorts, because his airport mode has been *activated*. Refuses to sit down. Owns a dedicated folder for holiday insurance, boarding passes and all other miscellaneous airport admin. Loves a National Trust day out. Your personal taxi. And biggest hype man. B&Q’s most valuable player. Bumps into someone he knows everywhere you go. DIY is his love language. Passionate about basic vehicle maintenance. Deeply and spiritually connected to the thermostat. Crocs? Oh, they’re into them. Deals with spiders so you don’t have to. Inhales food. Owns the biggest bunch of keys you’ve ever seen. Applies sun cream with reckless abandon. Obsessed with the family dog, you know, the one he didn’t want. Can build anything. Has only *one* volume for sneezing, coughing and snoring. Dad decibels simply cannot be matched. Loves car boots. Rubs his head when stressed. Sensible birthday present requests? He doesn’t know them. Strangely protective over the fire. Will likely always have a measuring tape on him, just in case. Has a degree in reverse parking. Endless dad jokes. Terrible dad dancing. Utterly perplexed by your ripped jeans. Always a phone call away. Will always have change in his pocket. Drops an inspirational quote whenever you need to hear it. Always remembers the things you loved 10 years ago. Uses the one finger tap on all devices. Sings weird old songs. Wears the same 5 t-shirts on repeat but won’t get rid of anything. TK Maxx is his entire personality. Prefers to do the food shop in person. Tells you to be sensible whenever you go out. “Don’t drink too much”. Never sleeping, only resting his eyes. Still asks you to pull his finger after all these years. Gives the best hugs. 

Basically,  love you dad.

Hello hot girl summer, it’s nice to see you again. Summer is well and truly underway, and with that comes beach trips, making eyes with the floppy-haired guy across the pub garden and last-minute sun-soaked getaways. It’s a great time to be alive. If you’re partial to hair removal in the summer months when high-rise bikinis become part of your weekly wardrobe, consider this your 101 for all things waxing. Offering a longer-lasting, smoother finish, with fewer ingrowns and finer regrowth than shaving, waxing can be a great option if your preference is no hair down there and you’re looking for long-lasting results.  

When it comes to actually making an appointment and showing your *bits* to a total stranger though- that part takes a little more courage. If the only thing holding you back from being a silky smooth seal for summer is fear of the unknown, let us demystify the experience once and for all. We spoke to Trish Coulton, Australia’s ‘hair removal queen’ and founder of Bondi Body, London’s premier waxing and hair removal studio, to find out everything you need to know before getting your first bikini wax…

“Before making any appointment do a little due diligence on the clinic. You want to make sure they are clean and sanitised. By reading reviews, you can gauge the consumer experience and feel confident booking an appointment and getting prepared for your first visit. 

“Ideally make the first appointment in person, either by walking in or calling on the phone so that you can ask any questions at the same time.”

If you say that it is your first appointment, then you should be automatically made to feel welcome and walked though what you need to prep and what to expect.

Trish Coulton

“I can’t speak for all salons, but at Bondi Body, you will be greeted, welcomed and with every new client we ask about your body hair history, if you have been waxed before, discuss any skin conditions such as eczema or skin tags you may have, sensitivity and see what the best direction is for you. All appointments should be tailored to you, and by that, I mean ensuring they treat your body as yours and not the same as the previous client. 

Side note:  If the treatment room is in any way dirty. Leave. Hygiene is paramount.

“Your hair needs to be longer than 1cm for your appointment, as the wax needs to be able to grab hold of the hair and get a good grip on the root. Do not trim.

“It’s also worth remembering that if this is your first wax, your hair root will be quite large meaning the first wax you ever have will be the most painful. From then onwards, the root of the hair reduces and it will become much less painful after a few sessions.

“So how do we wax your intimate area? Starting at the top of the bikini line we work our way down and around. Both legs are flat in the position of a V shape. Then we bend one knee out, away from the body, keeping the opposite leg straight. Repeat on the other leg. To work on the back area, we then bend the knee to the shoulder and work on the area behind. This is done whilst all the time moving the paper roll around the area we are waxing to keep you covered and feeling comfortable. 

“Aside from the obvious discomfort, not many of us enjoy taking their underwear off for a complete stranger …. let alone get into awkward positions. It is worth knowing that the treatment is super quick from the time you take your clothes off to pop them back on, it takes just 15 minutes!

“Post-treatment – we recommend having a cool shower and absolutely no hot baths. Do not use anything perfumed or chemical on the area and stick to natural unscented moisturisers and soaps. If you feel a little tender, then we recommend Sudocrem. Any concerns then reach out to your waxer directly. 

A little side tip – try to wax the week directly after your period- it’s the least sensitive part of your monthly cycle for hair removal.

The Different Types of Wax

Feeling more confident already? Good! Next up is deciding on which waxing style is right for you…

The Bikini Line Touch Up

If you’re not sure how much hair you’d like removed but fancy a little more of a manicured look, a bikini line touch up might be the one for you. The perfect option if you’d like to keep things a little more natural but fancy some definition on the edges, hair will be removed from anywhere outside of the modest knicker line. 

Full Bikini

A step up from the above, the full bikini wax usually refers to the standard bikini line and waxing some hair on top to make a more defined ‘triangle’ area, while trimming down leftover hair. If you still want to keep some hair but want more definition and hair removed deeper into the bikini line, this is the wax for you.

French

If you want down there to be smooth and have a significant amount of hair removed without feeling too bare, French is the way to go.Your aesthetician will take off most of your pubic hair in the front—leaving a small, rectangular strip (aka a ‘landing strip’)—and all of your hair in the intimate middle area. It’s worth noting that the French bikini wax does not include any hair removal in the back!

Brazilian

A Brazilian wax removes all the hair from your bikini area (top, sides,and front), and the hard-to-reach spots in the back you never quite get to. FYI- they’re one of the most popular options when it comes to hair removal down there! Unlike the French version, when you go Brazilian they take the hair off the top and sides of the bikini line, but also all the way under and around the back, too. 

Hollywood

Goodbye hair. The Hollywood wax removes all pubic hair, from the front, between the legs, and between the buttocks. If you’re looking for a total hair removal solution, this is it…

We all have different preferences when it comes to body hair, from keeping it natural to slightly more manicured, but remember that feeling confident and like your best self this summer is all about doing what you feel most comfortable with!

In an interview with Biird – the female-led, sex-positive brand on a mission to dispel the taboo around pleasure – we caught up with Co-Founder Andrea Rey de Viñas to find out everything there is to know about designing one of the best sex toys on the market, aka the main character in the SheSpot X Zoella box. 

We are of course talking about Evii, the one and only! The exquisite, whisper-quiet external vibrator for clitoral stimulation. It even comes complete with its own wireless charging tray, designed to house your jewellery and other precious trinkets whilst refuelling your vibe! What a time to be alive. As for the Evii toy itself, incognito mode is her middle name, with unsuspecting guests guaranteed to think she’s prime to blast out Harry’s House or blend out their blush… Joke’s on them. 

After working with industry-leading pleasure brands for more than 20 years, Biird has come to know the restrictions and barriers placed on sex toys all too well, so designing a product range that is first and foremost about delivering pleasure while being beautiful, powerful, and challenging the status quo is at the forefront of everything they do as a brand. 

From clit-led toys to breaking taboos, here’s a look at everything Biird bring to the bedside table… 

Q: Why did you start the company and what’s the story behind the brand?

We started Biird now over 2 years ago as we felt there was room for products that were a bit more playful, colourful and most importantly, more relaxed about sexuality. When we looked at what was available, we often saw other products portraying sexuality and self-pleasure as this perfect thing, this darker and mysterious feel around self-pleasure with a lot of lace and lingerie. We believe in a broader approach to self-pleasure. Is it nice to sometimes really put in effort, wear lingerie, play music and light some candles? Absolutely! But there are times when you just want some alone time to relax and just simply have a quick fun moment! Biird is there for all these situations. 

Q: What does the average day look like in the Biird office?

Haha. Working at Biird is indeed a bit different than working for a company in a more traditional industry. We get to bring pleasure to people and that really gives a special feeling. Everything we do is geared towards the users and every day we ask ourselves, what can we do that would truly make a difference? But it’s not like all kinds of wild things happen in the office. We still work with spreadsheets, have product development meetings and have to show up for a full day of work. 

Q: What gets you out of bed every day?

We’re definitely an a-typical company. We make products people love and getting to work on those products and with our users, every day is just such an incredible feeling. We often hear heartwarming stories from our users and that’s not something you get at many other companies. 

Q: Evii is the main character in our SheSpot X Zoella wellness box. Can you tell us a bit about what inspired this design and who you had in mind when creating this award-winning toy?

Evii came to be when we were looking to design an easy-to-approach vibrator. We went to the drawing board knowing we wanted to make something that would give off great vibrations. Not only from a literal vibration standpoint but also the whole experience connected to using Evii. We looked for shapes that would be comfortable to hold in hand, as well as feel great when using it on your body. That’s how our pear/avocado shape came to be. From there we added the ribs and the crease to create different zones on Evii that would invite the user to explore their body and find what works best for them. There’s no real “right” way of using Evii, we want users to use it however feels right for them. We’ve also added the wireless charging base that doubles as a jewellery tray so that Evii could sort of become part of your room decoration. Looking at Evii it doesn’t immediately become apparent it’s a pleasure toy so you can just place Evii on your nightstand and always have it ready to go. As a cherry on top, we’ve just won 2 of the biggest design awards this year, an iF Design Award and an A’ Design Award, which goes to show that our design philosophy is being appreciated.

Q: The jewellery tray design for Evii is *chef’s kiss* How much does your mission to dispel the taboos around pleasure and open up conversations play a part in the work you / inform the designs and the creative process?

The jewellery tray absolutely plays a big role in this. Every time we design a product we go back to the very basics of what brings pleasure and how. And a big part of our time designing is spent on how do we make this product truly accessible to a large audience. We’re often asked if Evii is a good toy for “beginners” or if it’s more for “experienced” users but we don’t really look at that in those terms. If as a user, you look at Evii and you think, “Hey, this looks cool. I think I could have some fun with this”, then Evii is a toy for you. No matter your “experience”. We’re also always looking to add a little bit of humour, a little bit of food for thought, and that’s why we create products which have this extra use case. In Evii’s case, that’s the jewellery base. This way you don’t have to hide your product in a dark drawer and can have it ready for action any time.

Q: What’s the designing and testing process like – How long does it take from concept to completion to create a toy?

Designing a new product takes quite some time! Evii took us nearly a year. We started with the basic idea of vibrations and then added layers of requirements around that cuteness, squishiness, versatility, ease of use,… We then experiment with shapes, modelling them through the use of 3D printing. This helps us to narrow down to a handful of design options as seeing something on a screen and being able to hold it in your hand are still two very different experiences. Once we have narrowed down the design options enough we start testing the different vibration feelings we can add as well as the silicone feel. We have a panel of testers who’ll give us feedback on every last little detail of the product. The process up to here takes about half a year. Then we start looking into what is needed to manufacture this at scale. The materials, the moulds for all the different parts. More finetuning of the product design as well as the features and then after nearly a year, Eviis start rolling out of our production facility. Looking back at this process is always mesmerising. Seeing the very first drawings and comparing those to the final product, seeing how far the design has come, never ceases to amaze.

Q: What materials do you use to create your sex toys?

We use medical-grade, body-safe silicone and specifically go looking for manufacturing processes which reduce the odour of the silicone to the minimum and we all love squishy silicone here so we usually add an extra thick layer of silicone to our products. It adds this nice texture that most other products don’t have. 

Q: How do you compare to other sex toy brands on the market, what’s your USP?

Biird is really more like a passion project for us. So when we’re creating a product we look at it and constantly ask ourselves: can we make this material better? Can we add something that would benefit the user? And that’s the opposite philosophy that many other companies use. We really aim to create products we can be proud of ourselves. 

Your favourite toy to design so far…

Haha. That’s like asking which of your children is your favourite. We love them all equally. And we mean that!

Q: We’ve just seen you’ve launched a brand new toy, the Namii. Tell us why we need this in our lives and the inspiration behind the newest addition to the Biird family!

Namii is a clitoral suction toy and a vibrator in one. You can expect the same Biird hallmarks as in our previous toys: Super quiet, squishy, great build quality, a wireless charging base that this time doubles as a mood light. And of course, Namii feels great. You can use it hand free thanks to its unique shape and you can even use the vibrations and the suction at the same time. That feeling… it gets intense.

Q: What’s the best thing about working in the sexual wellness space? 

Hearing the feedback from customers. How using one of our products helped them to discover or rediscover self-pleasure, how it helped them to discover their body or become more self-confident. How they introduced a pleasure product in their relationship… Those stories and hearing from the people who use our products, that’s really something unique.

Q: And the worst…. 

There are no real downsides to working in our industry. Sure there can be stress like in any other job and some weeks feel longer than others but overall, working in our industry is great! Telling others what we do for a living can sometimes be a bit challenging. You never know how they’ll react but in general, the reactions are great!

Q: What changes would you like to see happen in the sexual wellness space to help combat the pleasure gap and de-stigmatise female pleasure more specifically?

We’ve come a long way already. Just a few years ago, there was a much bigger stigma around self-pleasure. Every year, we’re moving in the right direction. But there still is room for improvement. One of the main areas would be how the social media platforms police posts about sexuality. There is still a very big gap there. It’s clear that these rules were written through a male gaze on sexuality. Scantily clad women advertising a service is allowed but when talking about pleasure, be it sharing your experience with self-pleasure or even sexual educational content, then suddenly a line is crossed and you risk having your post taken down or worse, getting your account banned. 

We’ve created a petition and a page with more information about this here, so those that are interested in learning more about the topic should definitely check it out. 

Q: What does self-love mean to you?

Self-love is such a broad topic. For me it goes much further than sexual pleasure. It’s about being happy. About taking care of yourself in a way that brings you joy. Not thinking about what others will think of you, but doing things that make you happy or relaxed or feel pleasure. That’s eating that ice-cream you really want, that’s splurging on that dinner, that’s going to yoga, that’s masturbating when you feel like it without feeling guilty… 

Q: Where do you think sex toys will go from here?

Having been in the sex toy industry for so many years, I start to see a shift of a sextoy world being dominated by men to one where more and more women are starting their own pleasure product companies. So we’re starting to see more and more products designed by women for women. There will definitely be new technologies coming up, new products, new materials and it’s a future I’m very much looking forward to!

Q: What’s next for Biird?!

We’ve got a few products in development so that’s exciting. I can’t share much yet so definitely keep an eye on our Instagram. And we’ll keep on working on demystifying and de-stigmatizing self-pleasure through our products and our campaigns. 

Fifty Shades of Grey may have catapulted BDSM into the mainstream, opening up conversations about dominance and submission, but was it an accurate representation of how the experience goes down in real life? Hardly. In fact, most players (BDSM practitioners) would consider E.L. James’s depiction to be woefully inaccurate, especially where Christian Grey’s character is concerned. Despite the stigma and stereotypes attached to the BDSM community, there is nothing inherently wrong with people if they’re into it – you don’t need to have had a ‘dark’ or sexually abusive past to get off on dominance and submission. Beyond the cliches and misconceptions, there’s a world of Safe, Sane and Consensual sex, and this is the cornerstone of any BDSM encounter. 

There’s so much more to the lifestyle than just Red Rooms and nipple clamps. In reality, BDSM, which stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism, covers a range of practices, including but not limited to bondage (handcuffs, blindfolds, rope), impact play (spanking, caning) and role-play, all of which rely upon emotional connection,pre-determined boundaries and consent. 

BDSM isn’t a monolith for rough, deviant sex, rather it encompasses a whole spectrum of experiences from the vanilla through to the alternative and the downright artistic – no two BDSM relationships look the same!

From how to introduce BDSM in your relationship to safe words and aftercare, We spoke to Lohani Noor, renowned relational psychotherapist with a specialism in psychosexual therapies and author of 12 Steps to Sexual Connection, to find out everything you need to know about BDSM.

What is BDSM?

“Many of you will have heard of the term BDSM, even if you are not aware of exactly what it is. The letters themselves have multiple meanings. The ‘B’ and ‘D’ traditionally stand for bondage and discipline, which includes activities related to restraining and feeling extreme sensations in the form of punishment meted out by a partner. The ‘D’ and ‘S’ stand for dominance and submission and refers to the psychological aspects of control in which one person hands over authority to the other.

This often takes place with a written social contract, and this contract may outline protocols, expectations, limits and boundaries. The ‘S’ and ‘M’ stands for sadism and masochism, more commonly referred to as SM or sadomasochism, which is the giving or receiving of pleasure, often sexual, from acts involving the infliction or receiving (or both) of pain and/or humiliation. Finally, the ‘M’ and ‘S’ stands for master and slave. This relates to a relationship dynamic between two consenting adults, where one assumes authority, power and responsibility over a willing partner. 

Physical activities included in BDSM may include bondage, spanking (otherwise known as percussive practices), penetration, and obedience and/or service to a master or mistress or dominant partner. Fantasy and role play are an intrinsic part of these practices.

Lohani Noor

“When people engage in BDSM, they refer to it as ‘playing’ or having a ‘scene’, and while many people practise BDSM in private, others prefer public spaces such as dungeons or BDSM clubs or parties, either for reasons of exhibitionism or for safety when playing with a new or unknown partner. The activities represented by BDSM fall along a continuum ranging from mutual sensation play, represented by bondage and domination, to total authority exchange, as in the master-slave relationship, which may or may not include sensation play or fetishist activities.

How to Know If BDSM Is For You

For newcomers, BDSM can feel intimidating but it doesn’t have to be. The key is communication and education. Discover what elements of BDSM make you tick and talk at length with a partner about your boundaries and expectations before any encounters. 

Lohani says, “You might want to take a moment to think about any activities you and your partner have introduced into your sex life that are outside of what is known as ‘vanilla’ sex.”

• Do you like your partner to dominate in certain scenarios? 

• Do you like to be dominant? 

• What kinds of fantasies have you had? 

• Have you ever broached these with your partner? 

• Does the idea of being restrained appeal to you?

• How about extreme sensations or role play?

• Perhaps you secretly want to submit to another person but want to feel safe in doing so?

“These are just a few questions to consider in determining your sexual orientation. Many people who participate in a BDSM lifestyle claim that aspects of BDSM represent their sexuality and are not a choice but defined in their DNA much like the sexual desires of the heteronormative.

“If you just have an interest in sexual play, you may be inclined to act out some low-level fetishistic behaviours with a willing partner. However, people who consider BDSM as a part of their personal and sexual identity are more likely to identify and affiliate with a common BDSM community and frequently practise BDSM activities. 

Talking to Your Partner About Your Fantasies 

“If you feel okay to do so, simply ask your partner what they like in the bedroom – ask if they have ever had any fantasies. Their preference may not always be about acting out a fantasy scene; sometimes it’s about a little physical stimulation – perhaps one of you would like to bite or nibble the other? Or perhaps you like it when you are scratched or spanked? 

“I would open up the conversation away from the bedroom and, if it feels good and you are on the same page, go ahead and try out some of these sensory experiences, communicating all the time during new interactions to be sure that you are both okay with the intensity. You will hear me say this time and time again… if you can’t say the words, should you really be doing the deed?”

Introducing BDSM Into Your Relationship 

“It’s worth noting that fantasy means it is not real, and so some fantasies are best kept as a fantasy. I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t act out some fantasies, so long as you remember to ensure you and your partner are okay. If you harbour a rape fantasy, acting it out involves pretending with a consenting adult with predetermined limits and a safe word. It doesn’t mean raping your partner. 

Some examples of role-play would be

• Being a stripper – male or female.

• Being paid or paying for sex. 

• Being a police officer, vicar or teacher, where the sex is essentially off-limits but a person is eventually seduced.

• Being a complete stranger.

• Having sex with a superhero or heroine.

• Animalistic sex, with one or both of you being the animal.

• Master-slave sex.

“If you would like to take your sexual experience up a notch and try out a BDSM scene, then all the communication skills you’ve learned to date will be really important. My advice is to talk, talk and then talk some more. Plan as you would do any sexual encounter, but be even more mindful that you have built trust in your relationship. If you are unsure about boundaries or the experience itself, think about visiting a sex-positive therapist who is confident and informed on all things sexual, look online for videos, or join a BDSM forum or community who can guide you. Remember, you and your partner must set limits, and determine a safe word before beginning.”

It’s Ok If Your Wants & Needs Change 

“Many couples engage in some form of BDSM, even if they don’t recognise it as such. Tying each other to the bed, using handcuffs, or spanking all form part of the BDSM repertoire and, nowadays, these activities are considered relatively mainstream. Walk into any high street sex shop and it will sell a range of BDSM paraphernalia, whether it’s a riding crop, leather gloves or a collar and lead. 

Myths & Misconceptions: Everything BDSM Is NOT

“BDSM is an emerging phenomenon in mainstream society and is becoming more prevalent in the media. However, the publication of material like Fifty Shades of Grey is one example of how unreliable sources lead to profound confusion and controversy. In the novel, the main character, Christian Grey, exerts power over Anastasia Steele and, at times, subjugates her against her will and with manipulation. However, as I’ve discussed, BDSM is not about this. It is about the collaboration of two or more people to create a mutual experience where each person maintains their power, only one or more may choose to temporarily hand over authority to the other within agreed settings. 

Please be warned: similar media messages about BDSM as a device to ‘liven up your sex life’ may lead to experimenting with an alternative sexuality without much forethought or understanding of essential concepts relating to your own, or your partner’s, psychological and physical safety. For this reason, I want you to be very clear on the difference between SM and abuse. Abuse is any violent or aggressive behaviour within the home or between a couple, often involving abuse of an intimate partner, spouse or individual unable to care for themselves (for example, a dependent elder). Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviour, actions or threats of actions that influence another person in any relationship that is intimate or sexual in nature, and is used by one partner to gain and/or maintain power and control over another. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, economical or psychological.”

Here’s a useful list of BDSM scenarios versus abusive scenarios to illustrate the difference:

• A BDSM scene is controlled. 

• Abuse is out of control.

• Negotiation occurs before a scene to determine what will or will not happen. 

• Abuse is when one person determines what will happen.

• Knowledgeable consent is given by all parties. 

• Abuse happens when no consent is requested or given.          

• The ‘bottom or submissive’ has a safe word that allows him or her to stop the scene at any time for any reason. 

• Abuse is when the person being abused cannot stop what is happening. 

• Everyone involved in an SM scene is concerned about the needs, desires and limits of others. 

• Abuse happens when no concern is given to the needs, desires and/or limits of the person being abused. 

• People in a BDSM scene ensure they are not impaired by alcohol or drugs during a scene. 

• Abuse often happens when alcohol or drugs are used before and/or after abuse. 

• After a BDSM scene, the people involved feel good. 

• After an episode of abuse, the people involved feel bad. 

“So, the key elements in BDSM dynamics are those of control and informed, consensually negotiated situations, where everyone involved cares about each other’s needs and limits. Specifically, informed consent requires that all parties are fully aware of the impact of the specific type or method of play that will take place during a scene or relationship and the skill or level of ability needed. By contrast, abusive relationships are out-of-control, non-consensual situations where there are no agreements in place, or any concern about meeting each other’s needs or limits. Abusive situations lack meaning – for example, they lack the ritual or community involvement that I’ve talked about. Most importantly, after a consensual SM scene, the people involved feel good. It is well documented that, afterwards, individuals experience a reduction in the physiological stress hormone cortisol and report feeling closer to their partner or group. 

“Community support is essential to healthy BDSM relationships; not only to learn safe techniques but also to combat shame. BDSM communities are known to devote a great deal of time and effort to educational workshops and community forums for people to engage, learn, build community, and find support with one another. These core values, principles and social frameworks all indicate that the practice of BDSM operates within safe and ethical limits. As such, it is defined and upheld by the individuals in the relationship and agreed limits of the community. Generally speaking, safety involves not inflicting permanent damage or unexpected/unintended outcomes. This involves the participants knowing the limits of their capabilities with any given scene, ritual, or play. 

“As I mentioned, in long-term BDSM relationships, there are often contracts that involve considerable negotiation and forethought. Therefore, people who practise BDSM tend to be more introspective and thoughtful regarding what is important to them: what they want, and what they do not want. To negotiate a sexual scene related to their fantasies, they require strong, intact personal boundaries. As it happens, a recent finding from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom survey found that people who practise BDSM generally tend to have a higher level of self-esteem, are healthier than the average person, and have better than average communication skills, imagination, and self-awareness. 

Kink vs BDSM 

“Kink comes under the umbrella of BDSM, it is a broad colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour. These general behaviours may include fetishistic interests – for example, an intense sexualised interest in feet or hair or some other body part. Then there are fetishes that may include wearing rubber, or animal role play.

For instance, people who might identify as ‘furries’ escape into a world where animals are anthropomorphised, be it a wolf or a cartoonish character such as Mickey Mouse. Dressage Involves equine role play, and puppy play draws on a similar theme, only with participants taking on the persona of a young dog. Leather-sex culture and age play includes ‘little play’ where one or both partners play the role of someone not their own age.”

The Dos and Don’ts of BDSM Parties

Some general rules applied at BDSM parties are:

• Don’t touch anyone or anything (such as another person’s toys) without permission.
• Don’t assume that anyone you meet is single or available.
• Don’t interrupt anyone else’s “scene.”
• Don’t perform acts of “play” or nudity, except in designated areas.
• Guns or illegal drugs are not permitted.
• Don’t take pictures or videos unless you know it’s allowed.
• Don’t smoke unless it’s a designated smoking area.
• Don’t open closed doors. They may be off limits.
• Don’t engage in sexual penetration of any kind.
• Don’t discuss details of the party after it’s over. A good rule of thumb: “What happens at a play party stays at a play party.”
• Follow the dress code (if there is one).
• Negotiate your role in a scene before entering it.
• Make sure play is safe and consensual.
• Clean up after yourself.
• Follow any additional rules that the organiser specifies or posts.
• Thank the host before you leave.
• Be polite to everyone you encounter.
• If you choose to play, observe designated safe words.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) offers guidelines to help protect hosts who choose to organize BDSM events. Political activists, religious extremists, or law enforcement officials can sometimes disrupt a planned gathering.

For larger events, the NCSF recommends the following:

• Before the party, contact law enforcement and alert them about the upcoming event. This will also give you the opportunity to ask questions about specific laws that guests will need to observe at the party.

• Be careful about what you post online. Many hosts choose to password protect their websites, so only those who have registered and paid can gain access to information about the event.

• Designate an event spokesperson who can speak to your community on behalf of your group (if needed).

• Protect your event by keeping it private. That means only registered attendees can enter at the door.

• Observe a strict age policy. Many groups require that attendees be 21 or older.

• Enact a “no photography” policy at the event.

• If your event is targeted by religious or political groups, post a blurb on your website so that the media can contact the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom for more information.

How to Deal With Kink-Shamers and Judgement 

“Contrary to some beliefs, research does not support the notion that clients with BDSM have a greater history of past abuse or trauma that predisposes them to this form of sexual or relationship expression. 

6 Tips for Beginners:

• Communication is absolutely key for any BDSM activity. 
• Educate yourself, the world of BDSM is detailed and nuanced, give it the respect it (and you) deserves by understanding its limits.
• Use a safe word and absolutely honour it. Safety is not just about the physical but also the emotional and psychological, so if your partner uses the safe word honour it, you might not be able to see what your partner is experiencing psychologically or emotionally.
• Don’t rush, there is plenty of time to experience all your desires. As you gain confidence and learn to communicate, your capacity to experience will get deeper and deeper.  
• Understand consent. According to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, consent is an informed, voluntary agreement by two or more people to engage in a particular BDSM activity or to enter into a BDSM, dominant-submissive or master-slave relationship. In the realm of BDSM, consent can also only be given between adults at or above the legal age of consent, which in the UK is 16. In practice, it is not coerced or fanatical and is revocable, which means it can be withdrawn, by any party, at any time during the activity. No legal court will uphold BDSM lifestyle contracts, and so maintenance of these contracts requires the continued consent of the submissive, be it throughout a shorter experience or a longer-term agreement. Claiming that the submissive consented is not a viable excuse to abuse another person. The boundary is simply adhering to the communicated and agreed experience. However, let’s be clear: maintaining a submissive role for extended periods of time could detrimentally affect your internal sense of self. In other words, your beliefs about your actual freedoms and what you can and can’t do might blur.
• After care is such a key part of the BDSM experience. Take time to process the experience, talk about the details, what you both felt, when and how. The verbal intimacy and vulnerability expressed after the BDSM experience will strengthen the bond you have with your partner

Your BDSM Starter Kit

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Season 4 of Stranger Things, one of Netflix’s most iconic original shows, dropped on May 20th, and it’s safe to say the Internet has been awash with Kate Bush, Steve Harrington and Jopper (that’s Joyce and Hopper, duh) edits ever since. What a wonderful time to have a Twitter account.

If you’re not quite up to date, let’s set the scene. The year is 1986, hair is getting bigger and fashion is getting bolder. Season 4 is split between instantly recognisable Hawkins, Indiana, and the brighter, warmer and all round more sunshiny backdrop of California, as the Byers and Eleven make the move away from their troubled pasts. Or so they think.

The show’s costume designer Amy Parris had to work hard to combine these two worlds, creating a different aesthetic for viewers to differentiate between. “There’s a lot more plaid and more autumn colors on the Hawkins people, so they stand out against the sun-bleached, bright colors of California,” Parris says. “Hawkins, Indiana, is a little more drab, a little bit more old-fashioned — in California, you see the surfer style and the skater style.” 

If finishing S4 Volume 1 isn’t enough to fulfil the 80s fire now ignited inside of you, then look no further for a selection of wearable yet retro inspired clothing pieces nodding to the 80s era in a way that doesn’t scream leg warmers and spandex. Think more along the lines of oversized blazer dresses, statement bow blouses and athleisure cycling shorts and bingo, the 80s just had a 2022 makeover.

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Does anyone else feel like they should be paying rent to TikTok because it’s basically home at this point? *Raises hand*. From potato recipes that have us convinced it’s surely the only food group we need in our diet, to book recommendations that have us crying, laughing and just about every emotion in between, there’s simply nothing the app can’t provide in the way of entertainment, education and recommendations you may even trust more than Google…

Latest on Team Zoella’s FYP: HairTok. Doing pretty much what it says on the tin, HairTok is the corner of the app where you’ll find content surrounding all things heatless hair styling, DIY colour tips, festival styling and maybe even some dodgy fringe cuts thrown into the mix for good measure too. 

Courtesy of the side of HairTok we trust, today we’re rounding up 15 dreamy ‘must recreate immediately’ hairstyles that we instantly added to our saved folder and will be seeing us through a summer of bottomless brunches, festivals and mini-breaks galore.

A hairstyle that takes less than a minute to perfect? Sold! Claw clips have had a major resurgence in 2022 and if you’re seeking a new way to get some use out of a no doubt ever growing collection, look no further than this tutorial. Easy to achieve and getting your hair out of your face whilst still looking stylish AF, consider this your new go-to… 

Another that even the most inexperienced hair stylists amongst us should be able to nail, if you’ve got knowledge of a simple plait, you’re good to go. A fun variation of a classic ponytail, this look is perfect for in-between hair wash days and times when feeling comfortable is the number one priority. Got an important deadline coming up? Get that hair off your face and serve Parisian chic with this look.  

5 braid styles in one video, these easy yet elevated ways to style existing braids are perfect for warm summer days and adding a certain je ne se quois to your look. Which are you trying first?

Does anyone else get flashbacks to 2020 at the sight of curtain bangs and hair rollers? *Shivers*. If you can put the lockdown memories out of your mind then this style is one to save for the short hair girlies looking for new ways to style their more limited locks. Sleek, glam and sexy- tick! 

Another style where all you need is knowledge of a basic braid, this half up, half down look is perfect for later in your hair wash cycle when your hair isn’t feeling its freshest and needs a little helping hand. Grab some small elastics next time you’re in Boots to help achieve the neatest plaits! 

Long haired ladies, this one’s for you. If you’re partial to emulating Rachel Green’s ‘90s ‘fits then let us introduce the most ‘90s hairstyle of all. Medusa but make it chic, all this look needs is a black slip dress, red lip and a date at the fanciest cocktail bar in town for you to feel a million bucks! 

Who doesn’t love a hairstyle that looks far more impressive than it actually was to create?! *Raises hand*. This braided updo is the perfect style to bookmark for summer weddings, Pinterest inspired picnics and for all the cottagecore lovers who plan to spend the next 3 months frolicking through nature in floral smock dresses. 

If you’re in a time crunch (always) but need to look effortlessly put together, this simple braided look will always have your back. For a little extra volume, plait your entire head of hair whilst still damp before bed and undo the next day for super cute crimped locks.

Another one for the claw clip lovers, this style was made for long days at the beach, sundrenched skin, hot afternoons that draw into warm evenings in a haze of salty hair and skin. Cute on both long and short hair, it’s giving Pinterest IRL. 

The first look in this video is giving the ultimate 2022 Clean Girl aesthetic, whilst also letting its ‘90s influences shine through. Ideal for times when you want your outfit or make-up to do the talking, this simple updo is so chic you can guarantee it will never go out of style. 

Curly girls, this one’s for you. Complete in under 5 minutes, this style is perfect for days when you want to show off your gorgeous curls whilst still getting the majority of hair out of your face. Would also look cute finished as a bun!  

Glasto called, it wants its festival styling back. Whether you plan to live it up at Latitude or scream along to ‘good 4 u’ at Olivia Rodrigo’s gig in Brixton this summer, this super nostalgic bubble ponytail look screams Gen Z cool. Get yourself down to Claire’s for a selection of adorable butterfly clips and consider this your go-to style of the season. 

Faux thickness? We’re sold. This two layer pony adds some serious length and the appearance of thickness, making it perfect for days when low maintenance but high impact is the aim. Save for an airport style that will leave you looking hot to trot as soon as you touch down. 

The perfect beachy waves don’t exi … never mind. This look might require two different heated tools, but who said perfection was easy? Beautifully undone and proof that the prettiest styles don’t have to require waist length hair, this look is one we’ll be attempting to recreate, stat! 

Side fringe, but make it cool. This easy breezy, half up half down look is a simple way to switch things up if you’re someone that’s loyal to a classic middle part, adding a new option to your weekly rotation of styles, and taking less than 5 minutes to perfect! 

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If you’ve ever used Fenty Beauty, Florence by Mills or Rose Inc, you’ll understand the mystical hold these celebrity makeup lines have on us all too well and, according to TikTok, Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez is another one guaranteed to dominate our makeup routines. 

Founded upon self-love, Rare Beauty aims to break down unrealistic beauty standards and champion individuality over perfection. The curated selection of beauty products has been developed to make you feel good in the skin you’re in, without masking what makes you unique. Amen to that. 

Offering all the makeup must-haves from tinted moisturisers, bronzer sticks, soft radiance setting powder, 48 foundation shades (we love to see it) and liquid blush, the collection includes everything you could ever need to create effortless day-to-night looks. 

The feel-good formulas aim to highlight your natural beauty whilst delivering ultra-wearable, buildable coverage, so whether you’re into barely-there makeup or full glam, Sel’s got you covered. 

Not only are the products 100% vegan and cruelty-free, but 1% of all sales will go to the Rare Beauty Fund to connect underserved communities with access to mental health services, cementing Selena’s brand as one that’s committed to making a difference. 

Two years after its debut in the US, it’s *finally* exclusively available to shop at Space NK, delighting beauty-loving Brits everywhere. Naturally, we had to see if Miss Gomez’s brand lives up to the TikTok hype. Here’s everything we’re using and loving from the Selena-approved collection. Bring on the pigment!

To shop the Rare Beauty range, head to Space NK stores or the website.

Charlotte’s Review

Consider me OBSESSED. I’ve been using Rare Beauty for a couple of months now and it honestly might be my new fave brand- so many of the products are now part of my daily routine! My number one pick has to be the Warm Wishes Effortless Contour Stick in the shade Happy Sol. I’ve never been one that’s super confident with contour as I’m usually as pale as anything but this shade is perfect for me, and despite how pigmented it is when first applied to the skin it blends so seamlessly thanks to the ultra-creamy formula. A real joy to use!

I’d been seeing so many cream blush products on my TikTok FYP and had been super eager to try some, and let’s just say I’m a total convert from powder products! I’ve been loving the shade Hope which again is really pigmented and a little goes a super long way but gives the prettiest finish. I’ve then been finishing my base off with a few dabs of the Positive Light Liquid Luminizer in the shade Transcend and I truly don’t think my skin has ever been so glowy in a way that actually looks quite natural. This combo of products are simply chef’s kiss!

Other notable mentions go to the two lip products I’ve been reaching for most- the Stay Vulnerable Glossy Lip Balm in Nearly Neutral for day-to-day wear and the Lip Soufflé Matte Lip Cream in the shade Inspire for the evenings- it’s a very Taylor Swift shade of red which obviously makes me love it even more.

Selena, you’re a genius.

Lareese’s Review

The stand-out product for me had to be the Matte Souffle Lip Cream. This took me by surprise because I’m not usually one to get excited by lipstick or lipgloss, it’s the last thing I’d gravitate towards in a collection like this as I’m such a sucker for a good base, but I LOVED this air-whipped formula. It glides on like silk for a just-bitten finish that dries like a lip stain. Unlike other matte products that often flake throughout the day, this felt hydrating and comfortable on the lips. I also didn’t realise how much of a simp I am for a chunky doe foot applicator. Using this product is an experience and my life (and my non-existent cupid’s bow) is all the richer for it.

TikTok was telling the truth about the liquid blush, it’s not just hearsay. You really only need a dot as a little bit goes a long way but once you get it right, the colour payoff is real. Go in with a light hand for a gorgeous healthy flush of colour but rest assured, if you do overdo it, you can easily blend it out with your foundation brush. For £19 it might seem steep for a blush but the colour pigment is seriously long-wearing – a tube will last you all the way to the next platty joobs. I’d love to try the pinker shade (Hope) as my pale skin can easily give ‘clownfish’ with a coral-like this (I used the shade Joy) but like I said, it’s actually super wearable and easy to blend out.

Moving onto base! The pore diffusing primer does exactly what it says on the bottle, mattifying and blurring the appearance of fine lines and pores. The gel formula goes on like a dream, evening out skin texture and creating a smooth canvas ready for your foundation. My only gripe with this product is that it’s not glowy enough for me. If I wanted to wear this alone without makeup, I’d like it to give a healthy dose of radiance to make my skin look dewy and hydrated sans makeup, but for anyone using solely as a primer for makeup, it’s a solid product that fights shine and ensures your base goes on seamlessly and lasts all day.

The cream bronzer stick is another highlight from the Rare Beauty collection. Creamy, easy to blend and non-greasy, it provides a natural sun-kissed glow that feels weightless on the skin. As someone with aggressively hooded eyes, I can also vouch for the smudge-proof Perfect Strokes Matte Liquid Eyeliner. The pen is great for anyone scared of eyeliner flicks as the continuous flow tip makes for easy application. If mascara clumps are your nemesis, you’ll love the mascara from this collection, too. I’m a little weirdo who prefers a new mascara after it’s dried out a bit so it’s not quite as wet on application but there’s no need to wait for the best part with this one as it’s ready to roll, conditioning your lashes, lengthening and volumizing but never weighing the lashes down with product. Right up my street! I’m always pretty dubious about celebrity makeup, there are so many to choose from these days, each with their own fair share of TikTok hype but I’m pleased to report Rare Beauty exceeded my expectations, particularly for those who prefer the ‘my skin but better’ approach to makeup. For fresh girl skin with a lit from within glow, look no further than Gomez.

Danielle’s Review

I’ve heard a lot about Rare Beauty, especially the contour stick and blush and I have to say they did not disappoint. The primer is lovely, but always trickier to know how much this is affecting my routine but it went on super smoothly under my base and didn’t upset my makeup for the rest of the day.

I popped on my usual base and went straight in with the Effortless Bronzer in shade Happy Sol which blended in SO easily with a beauty blender, the shade was great but what I loved most is the speed at which that step was done. Usually, I spend a lot more time with fiddly products and blending. Over top, I applied the Liquid Blush in shade Joy which is a beautiful orangey toned blush, and I was just as impressed! A little goes a long way so I’ve learnt to use it sparingly as I don’t identify as a hardcore blush gal, but the colour and texture it gives you is amazing, and once again it was so speedy.

I also gave the Perfect Strokes Universal Volumizing Mascara a whirl and thought it was fantastic. Extremely buildable with an easy application. I usually use two mascaras to get both thickness and length, but for a light face of makeup for the office, this was perfect on its own, highly recommend it.

My favourite product has to be the Positive Light Liquid Luminizer which I popped on the pads/base of my thumbs and lightly pat into my cheekbones. This gave the most beautiful glow and once again was so easy to blend without suddenly disrupting everything underneath it. Powder highlight has started to give me a bit too much texture and this liquid luminizer is perfect for giving a great glow, especially in these summer months!

Maddie’s Review

I’ll be really honest, usually, a celebrity makeup range wouldn’t be something I get that excited about or immediately gravitate towards. Being by Selena Gomez (as lovely as she is!) I assumed this range would be targeting a much younger audience than someone in their mid-30s. That couldn’t be further from the truth and I was very pleasantly surprised by not only the look but more importantly the quality of these products. No wonder Space NK has just snapped it up!

Now let’s get to the products. First things first, the primer is divine. So smooth, it glides on a dream and has gone straight to the top of my must-have primers, a definite repurchase product. I have been a cream blush girl for a while now as I have really dry skin, especially in the summer, so these have been lovely to try out. The nudey pink shade ‘Hope’ is very up my street and a little really does go a very long way. I am not a big highlighter girl typically but the liquid luminizer in the shade ‘Mesmerize’ is such a gorgeous product for summer. Super natural it blends into the skin adding more of a glow than a tin man effect IYKWIM. I honestly loved all the products I tried but the last one I wanted to mention was the setting spray.

Ever since doing my own wedding makeup, I have become a little obsessed with the stuff as it genuinely does work. The Rare Beauty spray is a 4 in 1 product that you can use under and over makeup as it contains skincare ingredients such as niacinamide and sodium hyaluronate which leave your skin hydrated and smoother. So far it’s been great at keeping my makeup in place and leaves skin feeling refreshed and dewy.

To summarise, my initial assumptions about what these products would be like were totally wrong. This is a real deal makeup range that needs to be taken seriously.

Darcey’s Review

I don’t usually go for celebrity makeup brands, but I was definitely converted when Rihanna brought out Fenty Beauty so I was excited to give Rare Beauty a go after seeing SO many people raving about it on TikTok.

I tried out the products for my everyday makeup look as honestly, I don’t go out that often anymore and get properly dolled up, so it felt more natural to give it a go for a day in the office. The primer was bloody delightful, it applied so smoothly and wasn’t tacky at all which I hate in a lot of other primers I’ve tried. My pores disappeared instantly too which was rather magical to watch, I was really impressed! Next up I gave the contour stick in shade Happy Sol a go which I know all the other girls are raving about too, it blends so effortlessly and it worked well on me with paler skin too. I usually use a cream bronzer so I was used to the texture, but I was still shocked at how easily it blended, much easier than other cream bronzers I’ve tried.

Now to my favourite product, the cream blush!! I loved the shade Hope, but Joy was equally as nice too but more of a coral pink which I didn’t think matched my skin tone as well. The cream blush blended so well like the contour stick and you need the teeniest tiniest bit of product as it’s super pigmented. I love cream-based makeup for Summer especially as I find it gives a much nicer glow than powder and works better with sweat, so these products are perfect!

Olivia’s Review

My make-up base has never been better! Over the last couple of years, my skin has changed quite a lot and I have struggled to find a make-up base that works for me. Rare beauty might be the answer to all my prayers!

Let’s start with the primer, I have really enjoyed using this product! It flattens my complexion and gives me a great base for my foundation. I’ve also found that it has really helped with my concealer creasing around my eyes so win-win!

I’ve never been one to contour, not from lack of knowledge but lack of skill, but this bronzer stick was the tool I was missing. Its silky formula blends so smoothly onto my skin and it looks incredibly natural. This will definitely be a repeat purchase from me.

Moving on to the highlighter (wow), this product sits perfectly on top of foundation and doesn’t displace my make-up when I blend it in and gives me the perfect glow.

Both the lip and blush products are super pigmented and blend out really nicely (there’s a theme here). My only tiny piece of feedback would be that a lot of product comes out on the applicators so if you’re going for a more subtle look wipe off a little bit of the product before applying!

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In Tantric teachings, our yoni – the Sanskrit word for vagina – is seen as the sacred symbol of the divine feminine and our juices are thought to have healing powers. The yoni is considered the cornerstone of creativity and the internal compass between our thighs, but in this digitally distracted world, we’ve lost touch with our intimate feminine intuition and the power it wields in our daily lives. 

The link between our mental and physical health is well-known and the effects of stress on the body can be far-reaching, presenting in many different ways including insomnia, migraines, chronic pain, chest pain and inflammation. But have you ever considered how stress could be messing with your vagina’s inner peace? 

We spoke to Pelvic Health Expert and Managing Director of Kegel8, Stephanie Taylor, to find out how stress can impact our vaginal health and what tell-tale signs to look out for. 

Here’s what your yoni is trying to tell you…

Vaginal dryness (atrophy)

Chronic stress (stress that stays with you for longer than it should) can reduce the amount of moisture in your vagina. 

When you experience stress, your adrenal glands make and release the hormone cortisol. This hormone works to increase your heart rate and blood pressure to allow your body to react to stressful circumstances. 

However, when you constantly experience high stress levels, this excess cortisol can cause several health concerns, including vaginal dryness.

Vaginal dryness (also known as atrophy) can cause a sore or itchy sensation around your vagina and pain and discomfort during sex, which, in turn, can stop you from reaching orgasm or put you off sex completely. 

How to tackle it:

Pay attention to what you’re drinking, as alcohol and caffeine can exacerbate the problem. If you aren’t properly hydrated, you’re likely to see signs around your vagina. Aim to drink at least two litres of water a day. 

Consider using a water-based lubricant during your intimate time. Alternatively, a vaginal moisturiser can help alleviate itching or pain and keep skin nourished.

For a longer-term solution, you can also use a topical oestrogen cream (prescribed by your GP) and take special supplements for vaginal atrophy rich in Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Beta Carotene (provitamin A) and Power Dophilus. 

Low libido

Libido (your sex drive) is sensitive, and when influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors, such as stress, you can lose it.

When under pressure, your testosterone levels dip as stress-related hormone levels like cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine rise. And as testosterone is also a big driver behind getting turned on, the influence of chronic stress can cause your sexual urges to drop or disappear. 

How to tackle it:

Testosterone can manage low libido in men – with good results. While there is some evidence that testosterone can boost sexual appetite in women, there isn’t enough data to say that it is an effective long-term solution.

However, making simple lifestyle changes, including getting more sleep, maintaining a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and giving up smoking, can help boost your libido. While these are beneficial for your sexual wellbeing – it may take some time to notice changes.

For more immediate results, some natural remedies, including maca, ginseng and fenugreek, have shown to be beneficial in boosting libido. Alternatively, consider testing out a new lubricant or masturbating to help arousal.

Increased infection

There are millions of bacteria living inside your vagina. While this may sound scary, it works to protect you from infection. 

The vaginal microbiome (the collective term for this bacteria) is extremely sensitive, and if the balance of bacteria is disturbed, this can lead to infection and inflammation.

The most prominent bacteria in your vagina, called lactobacilli, ensure that your vagina’s pH balance stays at a normal level (usually less than pH 4.5), preventing the growth of other organisms. 

One study found that an increase in cortisol (the stress hormone) affects glycogen levels in the vagina and harms the production of lactobacilli. Without the good bacteria acting as a defence, your body is more susceptible to infections.

Meanwhile, another study found that stress and anxiety can result in inflammation and a weakened response to fighting infections, including in your vagina. – which puts you at a higher risk of contracting bacterial infections and thrush. 

One of the tell-tale signs of an infection is a change in appearance, smell, and discharge texture. A fishy smell may indicate bacterial vaginosis, while thick, white discharge is a symptom of thrush. It’s important to not self-diagnose and visit your GP to discuss your concerns.

Healthy vaginal discharge doesn’t have a pungent odour; it should be clear or milky fluid or mucus that actually keeps your vagina clean and moist to protect it from infection. 

How to tackle it:

Bacterial vaginosis, or thrush, can be treated with over-the-counter remedies, but unfortunately, if your stress levels remain high, you may experience recurring infections. 

Focus on restoring or maintaining the balance of your vaginal microbiome by consuming probiotics through fermented foods and drinks like yoghurt, kefir or probiotic supplements.

Irregular or missed periods

While getting your period can be a pain or inconvenience, it can tell you things about your health. 

Irregular or missed period is a common first sign that something isn’t 100 per cent right. Research has found that the body’s reactions to stress are associated with enhanced secretion of several hormones that increase energy and help you adapt to new circumstances. However, this often means that parts of your menstrual cycle, like ovulation, are disrupted.

Irregular periods aren’t so sinister but can be an inconvenience. Although, one study found that those who are more stressed are up to four times more likely to experience moderate to severe PMS symptoms like water retention or bloating, stomach cramps and severe mood swings. 

Unsurprisingly, cycle changes can also cause fertility issues, often through a chain reaction – as irregular periods distress our ovulation schedules, and, combined with reduced libido, getting pregnant can be more difficult. 

One study also found that women with higher levels of an enzyme called alpha-amylase were less likely to get pregnant than women with lower levels. Researchers believe that the body releases this enzyme as a part of its stress response.

How to tackle it:

It can be hard to keep track of irregular periods, so consider using a period tracker to help you identify any unique patterns and recall details if you’d like to raise any concerns with your GP.

Lifestyle changes like exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy diet are great ways to help reduce stress levels and regulate hormone levels.

A tight pelvic floor

Stress can make us physically seize up. We all know that jaw clenching feeling, right? If excessively worked up, tension can reach your pelvic floor and cause serious complications. 

A hypertonic pelvic floor (when the pelvic floor muscles can’t relax) is often associated with stress. When your pelvic muscles are overworked, you will feel tenderness and deep aches in your pelvis as they tighten.

Certain activities and movements may aggravate this pain by putting pressure on trigger points. Constipation, pain during sex and lower back pain are some of the first warning signs that your pelvic floor is tight.

If your pelvic floor muscles are overloaded frequently, they can experience long-term fatigue from being contracted for long periods. Too much pressure can also lead to weakened muscles that subsequently will be unable to react quickly and result in the development of pelvic floor disorders, such as incontinence and even pelvic organ prolapses. 

According to a study, women experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression are more likely to experience urinary incontinence. Incontinence may also cause more feelings of stress and anxiety, which only exacerbate the problem. 

How to tackle it:

Try to spot the signs early where you can to avoid long term damage to your pelvic floor. 

Both weak and tense pelvic floor may show similar symptoms but can require different treatments, so it’s important to discuss your concerns with your GP to find the best solution. 

Low impact exercises like swimming and Pilates are a great way to strengthen the core and pelvis without causing more damage. 

And investing in a pelvic toner can be helpful in teaching you how to exercise and relax your pelvic floor muscles.

A soulmate. Your other half. The yin to your yang. Finding a loving, supportive and caring partner that you adore is akin to Disney IRL, and for those lucky enough to have scored their Prince or Princess Charming, life likely feels all the better for it.

Whilst some may see life as more fulfilling when living it purely on your own terms, a relationship with the right person can propel you forward, offer a constant source of support and compassion and bring out your best qualities, even when you can’t see them in yourself. 

But how do you know if you’ve found your other half for life? If your partner is ‘it’? If Tinder can be deleted for good? Some relationships may be great for ‘right now’, but knowing you’ve found ‘The One’ can be a life-changing realisation. Well as it turns out, the saying “when you know you know” is pretty apt on this occasion, as according to 30 lovebirds sure they’ve found their soulmate, you simply won’t find yourself questioning if they’re the one for you.

From knowing you can lean on them through thick and thin to feeling instantly comfortable in their presence, keep reading for 30 ‘awww’ worthy responses from those who know they’ve found their one. Happy National Soulmate Day, lovers!

• I feel calm when around him.
• I didn’t question anything. No doubts, I just knew immediately that it felt right.
• Because he’s my friend first.
• I knew pretty quickly after a few dates- I’d been picturing this man for years, manifesting him so I knew exactly who he was when I met him and I’m SO happy I waited and didn’t settle for the first guy who came along. I think your heart tells you when someone is right for you. When you can’t picture doing life without them, they’re probably the one.
• He feels like home. Wherever he is I feel safe, valued and protected. 
• Our energies match and being around him feels easy.
• I knew he was the one when it started to make sense as to why my previous relationships never worked out.

• In all of my previous relationships, I always had a feeling of forcing it to be something it wasn’t – because I was desperate to find ‘the one’. When I met and got to know my boyfriend, it felt right and I’ve never questioned our relationship or my love for him! That’s when and how I knew that he was my person!
• We are basically the same person.
• Friendship and love. I am inspired to be better every day.
• There wasn’t a moment but realising you can love someone more every day even after 8 years sums it up.
• I know he’s the one because he feels like home. He’s the calm to my chaos. The dolce to my vita. He’s unflappable when I’m… the mad unhinged artist with bull-in-a-china-shop energy (most of the time). 
• He’s the exact male version of me!
• You just know, cliche, but you really just know they’re the one, you won’t even have to ask.
• We clicked immediately and on every level, it’s an intense love even though we’re both laid back.
• When we first moved in together we quickly realised that we do not go to bed/sleep at the same time! But everytime I go up to bed he makes me a cup of tea and a hot water bottle then brings it up to me with the dog. I think it’s just something I sometimes take for granted, but it’s so kind and thoughtful and shows me exactly what kind of person he is.

• We spent 8 hours chatting in the car on our first date- everything felt so natural and comfortable.
• Sharing everything feels like the most natural thing in the world. 
• I feel like her first priority and she is mine. 
• We’re a perfect addition to each other’s lives. My single friend said the other day that being single is great, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and I said I can do that now! We respect each other’s wants and needs and never said to each other ‘no you can’t do that’. 
• I never had to question their feelings- there was no doubt in my mind that we were equals and loved and prioritised each other the same amount.
•  I know that sometimes I am not the most patient, calm or optimistic about life, but he shows me I can be.
• I find it incredible that he still looks at me and smiles the same way he did when we were teens, because we are almost 30 now and woah….
• He’s my number one cheerleader and supporter- no one has my back like him!
• Gut feeling- trust it! My body and intuition knew before I did. 

• When love just suddenly felt so simple and easy. The films always portrays love as a massive hurdle to get through and hard work (don’t get me wrong no relationship is perfect) but being with ‘the one’ never feels like a struggle.
• Your shortcomings or mistakes aren’t going to give them the ick- you know you’ve found your person when you can be 100% vulnerable and it only helps you get closer.
• When even years down the line there still aren’t enough hours in the day to hang out- I never get bored of spending time together. 
• I knew my partner was the one because he made me feel safe and wanted from our first date. Three years later and that hasn’t changed, I’ve never felt more safe and wanted by someone.
• Despite the distance and us both being from completely different cultures, we instantly clicked and I found a best friend from thousands of miles away. I knew if we could feel so connected when our lives were so different that it was meant to be.