26 Small & Curated Ear Piercings to Bookmark This Summer
We’ve rounded up 26 deliciously delicate and striking earscape designs to inspire your summer piercing appointments.
Earscaping: The combined art and science of decorating one’s ear with personalised piercings and earrings, resulting in a form of extreme self-expression.[Studs]
If you were curious about the latest jewellery trends, may we point you in the direction of earscaping, also known as curated ear-piercing design. With a ‘more is more’ approach, earscaping is about curating a selection of earrings that can span lobe, cartilage, rook and any other pierceable location to create a striking, statement design that’s completely personalised to the ear in question- they’re all different don’t you know!
The size, shape and intricacies of each ear will determine how many piercings look best, whether you opt for studs or hoops and how your personal style weaves into your jewellery choices, which may sound complicated, but earscaping specialists at spots like Astrid and Miyu andMaria Tash are on hand to advise you before you commit need to skin. We’ve rounded up 26 deliciously delicate and striking earscape designs to inspire your summer piercing appointments, adding a certain je ne sais quoi to your look and guaranteeing compliments galore. You’re welcome!
Father’s Day Gifts You’ll Actually Be Excited To Give Him
June is here and the two week countdown to Father's Day (the 19th June, FYI) is on- don't say we didn't warn you.
June is here and the two week countdown to Father’s Day (the 19th June, FYI) is on- don’t say we didn’t warn you. Whether your dad is most likely found pruning his prized allotment, or bopping along to Harry’s House whilst completing his weekend taxi duties (aka dropping you off at pre drinks), there’s nothing like an enforced day of celebrating to make you forgot all their hobbies and passions when looking for a present.
From the tech loving dad to the one who feels most at home in the B&Q paint aisle, keep scrolling for a present guaranteed to score you some brownie points and an irresistibly wholesome smile= what more could you want?!
10 of Netflix’s Wildest Documentaries that Will Leave you Saying WTF
Let us introduce 10 of the quite frankly *wildest* documentaries currently available on Netflix that are sure to keep your brain ticking over their smallest details weeks down the line.
Netflix has a lot to answer to when it comes to our procrastination habits, but would we have it any other way? Unlikely. If your Jubilee Bank Holiday calendar is in need of some serious R&R thrown into the mix (along with the obligatory bunting hanging and afternoon tea consumption), consider your ‘to-watch’ list covered- albeit with some slightly terrifying recommendations.
From the weird to the wonderful and everything in between, the documentary and docuseries industry has boomed in recent years, with research fromParrot Analyticsrevealing true crime was not only the biggest documentary subgenre, but was also growing faster than nearly any of the others between the period of January 2018 and March 2021. Interest piqued? Let us introduce 10 of the quite frankly *wildest* documentaries currently available on Netflix that are sure to keep your brain ticking over their smallest details weeks down the line. Spoiler: most are not advisable to watch before bed…
Our Father
Netflix’s latest disturbing doc Our Father has been trending Internet-wide since its release in May of this year, and viewers are still reeling from the surely-too-f*cked-up-to-be-real tale. The 90-minute episode follows the case of former fertility doctor, Donald Cline, who for years had been repeatedly swapping out donor sperm with his own to inseminate women in secret, as a result fathering dozens of children. The documentary closely follows Jacoba Ballard, revealed as one of Cline’s children, and the unsettling truth that was exposed after she completed a simple DNA test to learn about her paternal lineage. Suspicions were raised after Jacoba’s test revealed she had seven relatives in nearby parts of Indiana, immediately signalling alarm bells and exposing Cline’s deceit, which is still unravelling to this day.
Eye-opening and chilling, the terrifying truth of Dr Cline’s malpractice is one that will keep you gripped even when it becomes difficult to watch.
Don’t F**k with Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer
Two weeks after its debut, Don’t F*ck with Cats became one of Netflix’s Top 5 most-watched documentaries of 2019, and over 3 years on the story remains just as shocking as when it first aired. The three-part docuseries follows an online amateur investigation, sparked after a series of videos surfaced online of an anonymous individual abusing and killing cats, eventually leading to more serious and shocking crimes to be uncovered as a result. From the type of plug sockets in the background of videos, to photos of petrol stations posted in later online statuses, the amateur Facebook detectives dedicated to finding the mystery killer stopped at nothing to reveal the identity of the individual behind the sickening videos.
No spoilers here, but the tale gets wilder the more you watch, and remains one of the most unbelievable true crime stories on Netflix.
Tinder Swindler
Ever been on a bad date? Times that by around 1,000,000 and you might just arrive at Simon Leviev. Another gem from 2022, the two-hour documentary tells the story of Shimon Hayut- the real name of ‘Mr Leviev’- who posed as a wealthy, jet-setting diamond mogul, allegedly using the dating app Tinder to fund his life of luxury by defrauding women across Europe. Hayut would match with women on the app, take them on an impressive and mesmerising first date, charm, finesse and scheme his way into building what would appear to be an authentic and loving relationship, all whilst flying around the world to secretly date and scam other unsuspecting women looking for love.
The documentary chronicles the journey of multiple victims who lost millions of dollars in total after Leviev would pretend to be targeted by ‘his enemies’, telling his partners he was in harm’s way and needed money to escape- unbelievable, but it worked. The documentary clocked 45.8 million hours of views globally between the 31st of January and the 6th of February this year and hit the top 10 on Netflix in 92 countries.
Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened
If Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid and Hailey Bieber tell you something is worth your time, chances are we normally believe it. Unfortunately, in the case of Fyre Festival, celebrity endorsements galore weren’t enough to save what turned into possibly the biggest festival flop of all time. Yikes.
With promised luxury accommodation, “the best in food, art, music and adventure” in the Bahamas, musical guests including Tyga, Desiigner, Blink-182, Major Lazer, Disclosure to name a few, the reality of the festival was in fact an unfinished building site with no access to food or water, no stage, and definitely no music. To blame? Think a severe lack of planning, the total underestimation of throwing a luxurious event on a remote island and CEO turned fraudster, Billy McFarland, and boom, you have the perfect recipe for disaster.
The one part documentary earned nominations for Outstanding Documentary or Nonfiction Special and Outstanding Directing for a Documentary/Nonfiction Program amongst other accolades, and combines the festival’s promotional materials, footage from guests and behind the scenes of the ‘planning’ process which ultimately caused the event to fall apart. The shocking but mesmerising look at how the event went from bad to worse, and worse again, feels somewhat like a dramatic thriller IRL. Phew.
Making a Murderer
Exonerated after spending nearly two decades in prison for a crime he did not commit, Making a Murderer follows Steven Avery- a Manitowoc County resident- who after being released from prison, unbelievably finds himself behind bars again, this time accused of the murder of 25 year old photographer Teresa Halbach who disappeared after she photographed a vehicle at Avery’s salvage yard. The series also explores the connected story of Brendan Dassey- Avery’s nephew- who was also accused as an accessory in the murder.
Columbia graduate students Laura Ricciardi and Moira Demos read about Avery’s case and decided to pitch his story as a documentary, which after being turned down by PBS and HBO was eventually picked up by Netflix. The 10 part series released in 2015 was filmed over the course of 10 years and was later followed by a second series in 2018 exploring the aftermath of the trials and convictions.
The show gained so much attention on social media that a petition was created asking the White House to pardon Avery and garnered more than 500,000 signatures. The White House’s statement noted “the President cannot pardon a state criminal offence.” For true crime lovers out there, the 20 episodes in total are not to be missed!
Abducted in Plain Sight
Look up the dictionary definition of ‘wild AF’ and you might just find Abducted in Plain Sight. Possibly the most unbelievable story of all, the documentary follows the kidnappings of Jan Broberg Felt, an Idaho teenager who was abducted by her neighbour Robert Berchtold in the 1970s on not one but two occasions. Told you it was unbelievable.
Over the years, Robert Berchtold- whom the Broberg family considered a trusted neighbour and close friend- spent his time creating a bond with the family so strong that it would allow him to spend time with Jan in plain sight, eventually kidnapping her to Mexico before marrying her, at age 12.
With more sordid details of this twisted tale (we haven’t even mentioned the aliens part), it might not be one to watch before bed, but will certainly have you talking about it to anyone who will listen for weeks to come…
Unsolved Mysteries
First airing in 1987 and with its later rebooted series showing on Netflix in 2020, Unsolved Mysteries uses reenactments, interviews and the little evidence available to authorities to retell the circumstances of murders, disappearances and paranormal activity that to this day has remain unsolved. The 12-part reboot released in 2020 was “refreshed” byStranger Thingsexecutive producer Shawn Levy and his company 21 Laps Entertainment, which is only another reason to click play once gobbling up Season 4 of ST!
From a mother who went missing from her hair salon within a 13 minute time window to a former White House aide found dead in a landfill site with no obvious motive for a killer, the series will by nature leave you asking endless questions, and tirelessly hoping for closure for the victims of each case.
House of Secrets: The Burari Deaths
Suicide, murder… or something else? This 2021 docuseries examines the chilling truths and theories around the deaths of 11 members of one Delhi family on 30th June 2018. The three-part series is said to be “an uncomfortable watch” with “brilliant storytelling”, and explores what led the 11 family members to be found dead in their home, blindfolded, gagged, and with their hands tied behind their backs. The production covered a total of 400 hours of interviews, and the “emotionally draining” research process was said to have taken its toll on the crew, as the truth behind this disturbing and impossibly sad case came to light.
The Great Hack
Data gone wrong, this 2019 documentary film follows the Facebook–Cambridge Analytica data scandal and the way in which personal data belonging to millions of Facebook users was collected without their consent, predominantly to be used for political advertising. Big yikes.
The documentary explores how data from up to 87 million Facebook profiles was accessed, and the ways in which Cambridge Analytica used this information to provide analytical assistance to the 2016 presidential campaigns of Ted Cruz and Donald Trump. Offering an alarming glimpse into the way social media shapes every part of our lives, The Great Hack is a terrifying insight into how deep online surveillance can go. The documentary was nominated for both an Emmy for Outstanding Documentary Or Nonfiction Special and for Best Documentary by the British Academy of Film and Television and Arts.
Worst Roommate Ever
Your home should be your safe space, but unfortunately for some, that couldn’t be further from the truth. This five-part documentary series covers four cases, and from murder to stolen belongings, squatting to unrequited love turned violent, it’s a terrifying look at how unsuspecting and innocent renters can get wrapped up in scenarios that end in the worst possible outcome. From a prominent member of the Sacramento community in the 80s whose shelter for those seeking housing was more reminiscent of a slaughterhouse, to a serial squatter who used false identities to turn the lives of his victims upside down (in some cases even kicking owners out of their own homes), it’s probably one to avoid if you’re currently browsing SpareRoom for a new housemate …
BRB Sobbing! Reviewing The No-Show by Beth O’Leary
Want to know if The No-Show is worth reading? Keep scrolling for the team’s reviews…
Meticulously plotted, fresh and surprising but thrumming with that signature Beth O’Leary warmth we all adore, The No-Show is a dream of a novel from start to finish, even if it is a total enigma until the very end.
As joyful as it is heart-breaking, Beth’s fourth novel tackles some hard-hitting themes, and it’s all the richer for it. In its opening scenes, Joseph Carter – the titular ‘no-show’ – leaves three women jilted on Valentine’s Day but there’s more to this story than meets the eye, with events unfolding out of sequence and a stunning plot twist that’s guaranteed to leave you guessing until the very end. If you like your romantic comedy with a side of mystery, The No-Showis your love language.
We say it every time but *this* is Beth at the top of her game. We said what we said (but will no doubt go back on our word as soon as she writes her next novel). Word of warning: Prepare to be put through your emotional paces. You will need 3-5 working days to recover.
Want to know if The No-Show is worth reading? Keep scrolling for the team’s reviews…
The blurb
Content warnings: self-harm, alcoholism, obsession, stalking, sexual harassment, miscarriage, dementia.
Three women. Three dates. One missing man…
8.52 a.m. Siobhan’s been looking forward to her breakfast date with Joseph. She was surprised when he suggested it – she normally sees him late at night in her hotel room. Breakfast with Joseph on Valentine’s Day surely means something… so where is he?
2.43 p.m. Miranda’s hoping that a Valentine’s Day lunch with Carter will be the perfect way to celebrate her new job. It’s a fresh start and a sign that her grown-up life is finally falling into place: she’s been dating Carter for five months now and things are getting serious. But why hasn’t he shown up?
6.30 p.m. Joseph Carter agreed to be Jane’s fake boyfriend at a colleague’s engagement party. They’ve not known each other long but their friendship is fast becoming the brightest part of her new life in Winchester. Joseph promised to save Jane tonight. But he’s not here…
Meet Joseph Carter. That is if you can find him.
Lareese Says…
Beth O’Leary does it again! I’m a HUGE O’Leary fan but I have to admit, I wasn’t convinced she’d be able to trump her last novel, The Road Trip. Lo and behold I was wrong – This. This is O’Leary at her best!
I foolishly read The No Show over the course of a couple of weeks, dipping in and out which was my downfall. For that reason, I felt like it was a bit of a slow burner to begin with, but I put that down to my erratic reading schedule more than the story itself. Initially, I was a bit disenchanted by the long build-up and multiple POVs but I’m not afraid to admit I did a complete 180 on this book and its titular ‘no show’, Joseph Carter. We get to know this womanising cad through three leading ladies Siobhan, Miranda and Jane, all of whom have been stood up on Valentine’s Day. Men, eh. Who’d have ‘em?
I won’t elaborate too much on the plot because I would hate to spoil it for anyone but let’s just say there’s more to this story than meets the eye, so sit tight and stick with it. Things really take off and fall into place around the 200-page mark.
The No Show is O’Leary’s savviest book to date (and dare I say her best)Lareese
The No Show is O’Leary’s savviest book to date (and dare I say her best), and although it’s not quite as ‘cosy’ as The Switch, it’s equally as heartwarming and joyful. Kudos to O’Leary for her meticulous plotting too. This is the most satisfying conclusion I’ve read in a long time and a wonderfully original take on the romance novel. My advice? Go into it blindly, and avoid spoilers because when you get to the plot twist you will launch your book across the room. Ladies and Gentlemen, Her!
Rating: 4.5/5 Would you recommend it? It’s a need not a must.
Charlotte says…
BRB SOBBING FOREVER. I devoured The No-Showin record time, powering through its pages despite wanting to save the deliciousness that is a new Beth O’Leary novel for as long as possible. In some ways, it felt a little different to the other books I’ve read from Beth and I can’t put my finger on why, perhaps because of the three-character perspective format and at times not feeling overly drawn to all its protagonists, but regardless it still stands as my favourite book of the year so far!
The best way to go into reading The No-Show is without expectation- although it’s tempting to rush through its chapters and see how each character’s story falls into place, to me its charm was the slow unfolding of each relationship which left me curious and gripped by every small detail. I was totally enthralled by each women’s experiences and relationships with Joseph, and somehow never felt any bad blood towards him despite his mysteriousness and at times emotional unavailability. His big smiles and charming nature melted my heart, similarly to Siobhan, Miranda and Jane (of whom his interactions were my favourite) and despite its sadness, The No-Show made me feel like I was enveloped in the warmest of hugs from start to finish. It certainly wasn’t as steamy as The Road Trip, but the planning and time that must have gone into intertwining the lives of so many ‘real’ feeling characters whilst never once being confusing is a skill I think only Beth possesses!
I read the final few chapters in public and let me just say, this was not a wise choice. Charlotte
I read the final few chapters in public and let me just say, this was not a wise choice unless crying alone with a passionfruit margarita in hand is something you also aspire towards. Consider yourself warned. Once again I’ll be counting down the days to Beth’s next book already, and wondering what I can read to fill the void in the meantime. Recommendations on a postcard, please!
Rating: 5/5- if I could score higher I would! Would you recommend it? DUH.
Darcey says…
I absolutely ADORED this book. I read The No-Show on my most recent Holiday and spent the entire 5-hour plane journey home finishing this book and let me tell you turbulence was knocking me left, right and centre and not even that could stop me from turning those pages!
I loved every female character in this book, but I must admit my heart really did fall for Jane!Darcey
Throughout the book you get to know the three leading ladies Siobhan, Miranda and Jane, I really enjoy a book from the different characters’ perspectives, I find it incredibly interesting as it really speeds up the pace of the book for me. I loved every female character in this book, but I must admit my heart really did fall for Jane, the sweetest character with a lot of self-doubt and worry, I was really rooting for Janey and so the ending (if you’ve read the book) made my heart swell!
Throughout the book you also get to know Joseph Carter, I think I felt every emotion under the sun towards this man ha! I must admit my opinion on him greatly changes about halfway through the book, without giving too much away, the character development of Joseph is actually really quite moving.
I can’t even imagine how long it took Beth to write this book, the skill behind unravelling so many stories at one time and getting that onto paper is remarkable to me, she is so unbelievably talented and her work is such a pleasure to read. This book is 100% worth reading this Summer, if you like romance, drama and a large plot twist that makes you audibly gasp, you’ll love this!
Rating: 5/5 baby! Would you recommend it?: Absolutely!
Lizzy’s Platinum Jubilee, the Four-Day Weekend & M&S Picky Bits: A June Mood
Bunting and Ju-Bellinis at the ready, here’s 20 things to do in the month of June.
After seventy years on the throne, the Queen is celebrating her platinum jubilee and who are we to skip a party? Pass the scones, dallyn. If you manage to make it through June without a two-day hangover, it’s *you* who deserves a crown. Bunting and Ju-Bellinis at the ready, here’s 20 things to do in the month of June.
1 Manifest a life when you can be severely retired.
2 Add approximately 87 events to your calendar for the four-day weekend *back on my bullshit*
3 Celebrate Her Majesty The Queen and get into the platinum jubbly spirit. Throw a Corgi party, wear blue for the occasion, rock up in a gold state coach and cut a cake with a ceremonial sword. Here’s to our Lizzy!
4 Reunite with the unhinged tequila girl (that’s you). We ride at dawn.
5 *Announce that you fancy a ciggy* Objection your honour, hearsay.
6 Return to work after the big Bank Holiday – an unprecedented milestone. Bare minimum? Don’t mind if I do.
7 Turn up late due to foreseen circumstances well within your control. Iced coffee, a thread.
8 Try to book a coastal air bnb for summer…
9 Weep when they’re all booked out till 2027. How are we meant to be coastal grandmas in these conditions? The audacity.
10 Don’t make unnecessary journeys. Don’t take risks on treacherous hangovers.
11 Tell all your friends the only thing you want from them before you die is a Miriam Margolyes cameo.
12 Place an order for the SheSpot X Zoella box. Truly the gift that keeps on giving. It’s hot satisfying summer, guys!
13 Run, don’t walk to M&S to get your picky bits when it reaches 15 degrees.
14 Lose your mind over Harry Styles’ new accent. This is his cowboy era and it’s giving Matthew McConaughey.
15 Buy your dad the same thing you get him every year: a pouch of Revels, socks and a bottle of 19 Crimes. The Father’s Day starter pack.
16 Get your first sunburn of the season. It’s a British Summertime tradition.
17 Plan a girls holiday that actually makes it past the group chat. Twelve years in the making but once you’re on that balcony with your lemon Fanta and your packet of Lay’s, it’ll be perfect, perfect, perfect.
18 Until it’s been 4 days since your last bowel movement. Holiday constipation hits different.
19 Find yourself in one of those dangerous moods where you’re either going to sign up to a silent retreat, cut your hair off or buy a house rabbit.
20 Allow yourself to enjoy nice things. That’s it, that’s the tweet.
Featuring a distinguished lineup of market-leading sex toys, intimate care products and holistic self-love treats, the edition is worth over £160 and available while stocks last!
As launches go, here’s one to get hot under the collar about. Featuring a distinguished lineup of market-leading sex toys, intimate care products and holistic self-love treats, as well as small female-founded businesses, the SheSpot X Zoella box has been meticulously designed for optimum pleasure and pampering. Christmas has indeed come early. Merry hot, satisfied summer everyone.
Worth over £160 and available until 31 August (or until stocks last), the limited edition boxes can be bought as either a one-off treat for £85 or as part of an ongoing subscription every 3 months for £70 per box. Run, don’t walk! Snap up your box here.
Here’s a product-by-product breakdown of everything in the box. We ride at dawn!
Jet setters, we’ve got your back! Thanks to the limited edition canvas travel bag designed by Written By Emily, all your sexual wellness products from the SheSpot X Zoella box can go with you on all your summer escapades, so if you’re heading off on your travels anytime soon, rest assured that your prize possessions will be in safekeeping. Airport security? Completed it.
Emily says: “The inspiration for the design was the perfect summer beach holiday: bright sunsets, warm waves and sand between your toes. It was a treat to design a product that will go on so many adventures.”
2. Biird Evii External Vibrator (worth £77)
Meet Evii, your new bedside bestie. This exquisite tear-shaped specimen boasts the softest silicon on earth for an unparalleled pleasure experience designed to enfold the clitoris. Merry Christmas in June.
From feather-soft to deep and powerful rumbles, Evii’s dual motors, 6 intensities and 8 vibration modes can be fine-tuned to your liking, so you can switch up the sensations all whilst staying whisper quiet. The toy, not you. You can make as much noise as you ruddy well, please. Totally waterproof, rechargeable, and equipped with its very own self-charging base designed like a jewellery tray (the folk over at Biird really have thought of everything), it can sit proudly and discreetly on your nightstand, or even your drinks trolley if you should be so inclined. Now tell us you wouldn’t be positively buzzing to receive *that* in the post next to reminders to clean your gutters and lost cat posters. Screaming Orgasm, anyone?
3. Oomf Water Based Lubricant with CBD (worth £24.99)
Not all lubes are created equal. Oomf is a silky smooth, 100% natural lubricant infused with organic CBD to help promote blood flow to the intimate area and heighten pleasure. CBD has also been shown to help manage discomfort during sex, easing tension and supporting comfort where it counts. The probiotic-enriched formula helps maintain the healthy microflora and improves natural lubrication, pH balance and microbiome while providing long-lasting moisture. Vaginal dryness? We don’t know her. Basically, it’s the full package and a great companion piece for the Evii.
4. Ilapothecary – Feminine Happy Oil (worth £46)
With maca extracts, jasmine, rose, sandalwood and Brazilian ginseng, Ilapothecary Feminine Happy Oil is a mood-balancing blend powered with soothing essential oils for all over body nourishment. Perfect for moments of stress, fatigue, or whenever you feel out of touch with your feminine spirit, it can be applied to the skin directly or even added to a bath… as can Evii.
5. Luna Daily – The Everywhere Wash (worth £6)
Many shower gels contain harsh chemicals that can disrupt the skin’s delicate microbiome and irritate intimate skin but in 2022, you shouldn’t have to use a separate ‘feminine hygiene wash’ specifically for your vulva. Enter: Luna Daily, the gentle pH balanced shower wash you can use everywhere. It’s been expertly developed by gynaecologists and dermatologists, and designed to nourish and protect the whole body, including sensitive intimate skin meaning less fannying around with different products. Here for it. Note the travel-friendly design is perfect for slipping into your liquids bag, too. With that 10/10 discreet branding, they’re not gonna know.
Name a better way to close the rings on your self-love session than by slathering on a face mask and winding down for the evening with a good film. The vibes are simply immaculate. The Mallows Beauty Enzyme Peel is TikTok famous for a reason it purifies, brightens and exfoliates dead skin cells, which can help reduce blemishes and acne scarring. The hype is real! It also contains antioxidants such as Vitamin A, known for helping to reduce visible damage caused by free radicals. Get ready to glow inside and out.
7. Ferly Digital Discount!
Get to know the sex-positive app dedicated to helping you have a more confident, pleasurable sex life. Whether you’re struggling with pain, experiencing sexual difficulties or would like to prioritise sexual wellness in your life, Ferly is here to help you connect with your body and explore pleasure safely, with practical techniques, expert programs, touch-based practices, sensual stories, and audio recordings by real therapists. Visit weareferly.com, or download Ferly on the App Store to claim your 7-day FREE trial!
Use code SHESPOT to unlock an exclusive 10% discount on your annual Ferly membership.
What product are you buzzing to receive through your letterbox?
The time is now to get your inking booked in and ready to show off with your bestie all summer long. Which are you adding straight to your list of ‘must-haves’?
For your ride or die besties, sisters from another mister and till death do you part girlfriends who just ‘get’ you, sometimes big gestures of love are necessary, and it doesn’t get much bigger or more permanent than the decision to get a matching tattoo…
Celebs like Emma Chamberlain and Dixie D’Amelio have been jumping on the tiny tattoo hype over the past few months, so it seems that if you’ve been considering immortalising your friendship for good, the time is now to get your inking booked in and ready to show off with your bestie all summer long. Which are you adding straight to your list of ‘must-haves’?
1. Catching waves AND feelings with a bestie you know will never break your heart.
For the uninitiated and the downright curious (that’s just about all of us then), here’s what it’s really like to attend a sex party in real life, from a couple who know… and there’s not a pampas bush in sight.
When you think of sex parties, what comes to mind?
Sweaty orgies? Elite masked events for kinky couples in costumes? Or dingy fuckfests where grubby single men can rock up in their oily overalls willy-nilly to watch you whilst they strum their penis in a corner? Maybe *that* Sex/Life scene has skewed your idea of what a sex party entails: the one that starts with a frenemy blowjob from Trina and ends with Cooper in a sling…
Thanks to the many, many myths out there and unrealistic on-screen depictions (Eyes Wide Shut anybody?), what you believe about sex parties and partaking in the swingers’ lifestyle *probably* isn’t true. Spoiler alert: It’s not like the movies. Kink events cater to all kinds of different tastes, preferences and sexual orientations these days, from the vanilla right through to BDSM, with some focusing entirely on the pursuit of female pleasure, whilst others have specific themes, fetishes or dress codes. There’s truly something for everyone! And when we say everyone, we mean people from all walks of life. Contrary to popular belief, sex parties aren’t reserved for the sex-mad, they’re for ordinary folk: lawyers, teachers, writers, doctors, stylists, financial advisors and accountants.
For the most part, it’s a pretty close-lipped community too, with those in attendance keeping the location and intimate details hush hush. It’s a sacred space with mutual respect for one another’s anonymity, and it’s certainly not reserved for the crazy wild sex addicts of the world. In fact, the sex (if it happens, as it’s by no means mandatory) is only part of the appeal. Most party-goers are seeking something else entirely from their experience, whether that be connecting with a partner or building friendships with like-minded people who understand and respect you.
Feeling curious? You’re not alone. As a team of people who’ve never been cordially invited to such a bash (more’s the pity), we are fascinated. Like, where do you hang your coat? Truly a pressing question we must get to the bottom of. Do you have to exchange naked niceties beforehand, strolling around butt naked making polite conversation about what you do for a living whilst knocking back a Prosecco and trying (read: failing) not to make eye contact with the sea of vulvas on the chaise longue across the way?
For the uninitiated and the downright curious (that’s just about all of us then), here’s what it’s really like to attend a sex party in real life, from a couple who know… and there’s not a pampas bush in sight.
(This article speaks to Abbie and Emma’s experience and their relationship, and does not reveal locations or compromise anyone else’s anonymity.)
Abbie & Emma’s story
We were sitting on the sofa watching tv, having a conversation about Amsterdam and the red light district, we had both been to see a sex show and found the concept interesting. It led us into a conversation about whether we would be interested in going to a sex party and we both agreed we would. So, with that, our best option to find one locally was… Google.
We didn’t actually discover much, and it made us realise that it is quite a private community. After some searching, we found a hotel that was hosting a “sex party” near us.
The details said people would be meticulously vetted and single men were not allowed and had to either be with a partner or accompanied by a woman. Straight away, our reservations were put to rest, we bought the tickets there and then. Abbie & Emma
We went through the details regarding the party as we were both clear that being two lesbians, we didn’t want to go into an environment with lots of single men just watching us and making us feel uncomfortable, and this party didn’t seem that way at all. The details said people would be meticulously vetted and single men were not allowed and had to either be with a partner or accompanied by a woman. Straight away, our reservations were put to rest, we bought the tickets there and then. The dress code was *very* specific, no casual clothes allowed. They wanted everyone to be very dressed up, men in shirts, trousers and shoes and women in whatever made them feel sexy.
The build-up to the event was super exciting for us as we had no idea what to expect, whether it would be a “fuckfest” or casual drinks and a bit of naughtiness thrown in. Turns out, there was a lot of sex on the cards, and we very much enjoyed that!
We got all dressed up and ordered an Uber, both shitting ourselves on the journey there but equally excited, too. We pulled up to the hotel and there was a bouncer on the door which took us by surprise but also made us feel that the event was safe and secure.
The hostess approached us and took our names, turns out we weren’t on the list even though we had bought tickets. The event organiser came out and asked how we knew him and how we found out about the event. We explained that we had found out about it online and he then went inside to discuss it with his wife.
At this point, I was already backing out the door telling Abbie I didn’t want to do this, he came back out, apologised for the mix up and invited us in. With our free glass of Prosecco in hand, the hostess gave us a tour of the areas, firstly being the bar area where everyone was mingling, drinking and seemingly catching up. It suddenly dawned on us that most of the people at this party either knew each other or knew someone who knew them. I felt like a fish out of water whilst Abbie took it in her stride.
The hostess then led us past a room where professional pictures were being taken, explaining to us that we also get a “free shoot” if we want. We proceeded downstairs to the “play room” which had no-one in it at that point. This was a large room with a lounge area, off the side to this was a large bedroom with a circle bed and mirrored ceiling, and the opposite side of the room was a large bathroom that had a bath you could easily fit 6 people in. She said we could come down anytime we wanted and do anything we felt like but there was no pressure.
People seemed supportive and friendly, giving us advice and stories about their own adventures into this lifestyle. This helped us to relax and start to open up more, and get excited about where the evening’s antics might lead. Abbie & Emma
Back upstairs we went, walking past the photo room which by now had 2 ladies, half naked getting snapped, and then onwards back to the bar. We grabbed a few more drinks and started chatting with everyone, introducing ourselves, what we did etc … after a while the conversations turned more sexual: what did we like, what were we interested in, what did we want to try, had we done this kind of thing before. People seemed supportive and friendly, giving us advice and stories about their own adventures into this lifestyle. This helped us to relax and start to open up more, and get excited about where the evening’s antics might lead. Through these comfortable conversations we built up enough courage to go back down to the play room which would make your jaws drop to the floor!
We entered the door to see a sea of half-naked people, some females with females, some threesomes, some people giving oral and we couldn’t help but smile! It isn’t every day you walk into this kind of party. We didn’t feel ready to dive straight in, so we headed to the bathroom and thought maybe we could start with getting into the large spa bath, we started running the water and undressing which started to attract other people into the bathroom. We took some of our clothes off but weren’t fully naked and perched on the edge for a while whilst having conversations with some of the other people. Two girls got undressed and got into the bath fully, we chatted but nothing piqued our interests, so we thought it best to go get another drink. A bit of Dutch courage might help us achieve what we had fantasised about when we booked this night.
The second time we came back down to the play room, we both wanted to see and do more than we had before so we pushed our way past people having sex and made ourselves at home in the centre of the circle bed. We started kissing and before you know it we were naked, having sex in front of strangers. We discussed our boundaries before we attended the party so we had both agreed that, as this is our first time, we wouldn’t do anything with anyone else.
Whilst on the bed, kissing and touching each other, we had people come and ask if it was a private party (this is their way of asking if we are interested in playing with other people, specifically them!). We politely declined all offers and they had no problem with that at all. Some of them were just happy to watch and we certainly didn’t mind that at all, in fact it made the whole experience even more exciting! Who would have known having to put on a bit of a show for people would be such a turn on for both of us. We took our own toys to the party, but being new to this scene we were unsure on the etiquette, we doubled checked with someone that toys were allowed (getting a laugh and then quickly an answer of, “of course they are, you can do whatever you fancy!”)
Abbie grabbed some clothes and ran off back upstairs to grab our bag. Now we’ve attended a few gatherings, we know people always bring their own toys, some even bring whole suitcases full of stuff. Bondage, fetish, toys, lingerie changes, as far as we can make out most things are on the cards, and rightly so. These people have all come together freely and openly to express their enjoyment of all things pleasurable, so who are we to say what is acceptable or not.
Our performance seemed to go down well as there were a few comments about how good we looked and how hot our sex was, which gave both of us a complete buzz! Abbie & Emma
I waited on the bed for Abbie to return with our bag, to the left of me on the circle bed was a woman giving oral, to the right was a threesome that looked a lot of fun. I saw Abbie fly back through the door. I’m sure my face was beaming when I saw her, for obvious reasons. We got out our toys and started fucking. Our performance seemed to go down well as there were a few comments about how good we looked and how hot our sex was, which gave both of us a complete buzz!
Once we were done, we got dressed and that was that. Our first sex party! In our opinion, it was great. We both had a relaxed fun time and on the ride home agreed that this is something we liked and would explore again. We woke up the next day, slightly hungover and horny, and after discussing our night we had more amazing sex which pretty much confirmed that we wanted to do it again.
Whilst chatting with some people that night, we were directed to a few online websites that would help us if we ever wanted to attend any more parties or socials. We’ve now been connected to other open-minded people and have attended another social. This one being very different from the first one, as we had all been chatting to each other on a large group chat for a few months before, so we knew who we were meeting before we had even got there. There were a few familiar faces but we got to know a lot more people and it feels more like a community. We’ve gained so much support and advice from people who have been in the lifestyle for a long time.
The second party we attended was in a club, it had a large jacuzzi that you could fit about 30 people in, with a lot of beds dotted around it. There was another room to just chill with sofas and beds and then the bar area with a dance floor and a DJ. That party was much more of a social setting and we were chatting to a lot of couples about their sexual fantasies and desires and what they were looking for. We had decided this time we would be more open to the idea of playing with another couple and so we did! We met this lovely M/F couple and took to the bed with them, again me and Abbie spoke to each other throughout to check we were both happy and comfortable. Speaking to a lot of couples this is a massive thing when opening a relationship up.
We had another successful party and will probably plan to attend more. The first party we attended blew our minds to the possibilities and we had such a great time. It was a lot smaller and a lot more intimate, whereas the second one was on a larger scale (100 people) and involved less sex and more socialising, although we did have to leave about 1am so it might have been that we took off before all the action started.
At most parties, clubs will allow a single woman to attend, and she would be called a unicorn. Abbie & Emma
I don’t think there are many do’s and don’ts – there aren’t specific rules in place per se, just that you respect everyone and don’t judge. Some parties are couples only, some evenings the clubs have a single male attendance where they are allowed in. At most parties, clubs will allow a single woman to attend, and she would be called a unicorn. For us, we wouldn’t attend an event or party that allowed single men but that’s our personal choice.
The two parties we’ve been to have been ticketed, although the club takeover event opened its doors to their regular customers at 9pm but I believe you have to be a member to get in. There are places “spas” that you can just walk in and out of as you please, to watch or to have sex. These places would normally be where the single men attend.
Once everyone is relaxed, some people decide to undress and walk around in their underwear. Some of the women look amazing in their sexy lingerie. They’ve worn it to this kind of party, so why not walk around and show it off! From what we’ve seen, there aren’t too many people just walking around naked, this normally only happens when you’re in bed playing.
We both enjoyed the experience and are definitely open to doing it more. We are both sexual people and are open to letting other people into our bedroom, but not into our relationship. We are open to having sex with other people, within our own rules but we don’t want to have an actual relationship or anything more with them. We’ve both discussed the fact that we find it a turn on seeing each other getting or giving pleasure to others as long as both of us are involved. We wouldn’t be happy to say bye at the entrance and then go off and fuck other people, it all has to be done with both of us involved.
The whole process itself is exciting, and when we speak about it together, we get turned on and then end up having great sex. Abbie & Emma
The whole process itself is exciting, and when we speak about it together, we get turned on and then end up having great sex. We are both comfortable with each other, we trust each other, and we are open to trying new things. I don’t think anyone should be judged for enjoying these kinds of experiences but also, this isn’t a thing we want to do every weekend, every now and again yes, but not all the time. We don’t need that, we get what we want and need from each other and attending these parties just adds another level to our relationship.
We’ve even spoken about attending a fetish club and getting dressed up to see if that’s something we would enjoy. The possibilities are endless, and it’s great to have found others who are open enough to try all these new things out with us.
The only tip I could give would be to just be open minded, get chatting to people because everyone we have met so far has been so lovely. There should be no shame around people’s sexual preferences and fantasises, and if you can respect what you’re going into and have a willing partner who you can communicate with, then you’ll be in for a great time!
One big misconception about these kinds of parties is often that they’re just one giant orgy or fuckfest. This isn’t quite accurate, yes people have sex maybe multiple times with multiple people but it’s also about chatting and connecting with other couples and people. Most of the people we spoke to say they have to have a connection with someone else which isn’t just sexual. Of course, you want to fancy the person but also you want to be able to hold a conversation with them as well. Perhaps this is why a lot of them become friends.
We have spoken to people about this lifestyle and some are completely on board and think it’s great that we are open enough to do this kind of thing, and we have had some people that make us feel like it’s wrong or disgusting, that we should be ashamed.
There is still such a stigma attached to this lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy, when in fact, for some couples, it’s because you have so much love for each other and trust that you are willing to open that up and share that with others which I think is kind of beautiful!
Abbie & Emma
There is no shame in what we do, it isn’t for everyone, but we enjoy it. The friendships we’ve made, the conversations we’ve had, the places we’ve seen, and the sex we’ve had is fucking great! So I feel sorry for anyone who isn’t at least willing to be open to the idea of sex parties as empowering sex positive spaces for individuals and couples to explore their sexual fantasies safely.
From La Creuset goodies so cute you'll probably want to keep them, to photo albums ready to fill with polaroids of their big day, consider this your one stop shop for memorable, practical and downright beautiful presents the happy couple will always look back on fondly.
‘Tis the (damn) season for joyous celebrations and free bars galore- you guessed it, wedding season is here and the summer feels all the more fun because of it! The not so fun parts? Deciding what to wear, and securing a 10/10 wedding gift. Thankfully we’ve got you covered when it comes to finding the perfect outfit, so that just leaves a present that feels a little more inspiring than the traditional choice of a 50 piece cutlery set which frankly, does anybody want?
From La Creuset goodies so cute you’ll probably want to keep them, to photo albums ready to fill with polaroids of their big day, consider this your one stop shop for memorable, practical and downright beautiful presents the happy couple will always look back on fondly. You’re welcome!
What to *Actually* Expect When You’re Expecting: 50 Things No One Tells You About Being Pregnant
From weird body changes (hello bigger feet) to the first postpartum poop and hot porno dreams, growing a baby is frankly full of both sweet and shitty surprises in equal measure.
The discharge, the fire crotch, the chronic constipation and the second-trimester LUST (what a combo, seriously) – you bet they failed to mention any of those things at NCT group.
In a quest to find out what you really need to know when you’re expecting, we asked 50 straight-talking mums what they’re biggest WTF moments were during pregnancy. From weird body changes (hello bigger feet) to the first postpartum poop and hot porno dreams, growing a baby is frankly full of both sweet and shitty surprises in equal measure. Who knew the simple act of trying to shave your legs would be a three-part mini-series, for example? Or that your belly would be fondled by the local butcher, baker and cappuccino maker on a daily basis. As for the pregnancy glow? That’s the greatest fucking gestation myth of them all.
Without further ado, here’s all the glorious unfiltered stuff no one tells you about being preggo…
1. That not loving every minute of it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.
2. Take photos! My pregnancies were a long time ago and I only got a few photos of pregnant me.
3. You DO NOT recover after 6 weeks… more like 6 months, especially with forceps!
4. That bit of jam on toast you have after the baby is born is the best meal you will have in your whole life.
5. That sometimes labour doesn’t progress. 50 hours of labour and I still didn’t get past 5cm.
6. You will be constipated most of the time.
7. The morning sickness isn’t just for the AM, it can be at any time and all day long!
8. Just how much your sleep can be affected. As early as 2-3 weeks pregnant, my insomnia started!
9. You will probably tear and most likely prolapse but you WILL heal and it WILL get better.
10. How isolating the first trimester can be.
11. Every checkup feels like a huge relief.
12. That after having a baby the best thing to wear is massive black comfy knickers and that you will still be wearing them 2 years on. Come through M&S full briefs.
13. That energy just vanishes from day one. No second-trimester energy for me.
14. That getting/staying pregnant isn’t as easy as they make out.
15. That not everyone gets morning sickness and home births really are safe!
16. That morning sickness can be triggered by smells – even nice ones.
17. Your belly button might stretch so much it disappears.
18. That you have to push a big ol’ placenta out after your baby.
19. Piles. So many piles.
20. That the stool softeners they offer after a c-section are just as important as the pain meds.
21. It’s a lie that you will get big tits… instead they will stay an A cup and the empty skin will just sag down to your belly button.
22. You will have so much saliva in the 1st trimester. Get ready to drool!
23. Caesarean recovery with your first is nowhere near as bad as people say.
24. It’s ok to not enjoy it. I hated being pregnant.
25. What postpartum bleeding is actually like…
26. Not everyone gets cravings even though it’s the main thing anyone ever asks about.
27. Yeast infections are so common in pregnancy but no one talks about it.
28. Your discharge can be strange and confusing but fear not, it’s normal.
29. Morning sickness might make you unable to drink plain water.
30. How many more boogers you get…
31. That it is possible to tear from your vagina to your bum hole and you will forever regret not appreciating just how nice your vagina looked pre-kids
32. That the hair growth is real. You feel like an ape at all times.
33. The intense heartburn!
34. That incompetent cervix is a thing. Just because my baby is healthy doesn’t mean my body is able.
35. That the ‘waddle’ is from pelvic pain and not a heavy belly.
36. Your pelvic bone might separate early.
37. You can leak milk while you’re still pregnant. Catch it and save it for when the baby is here.
38. The extreme exhaustion. It deleted my personality for months!
39. That your feet can grow / stretch.
40. The sex drive!
41. How much you’ll hate your significant other in the middle of the night.
42. The swelling. You will need to sit knickerless in front of a fan for fanny ventilation.
43. The night sweats.
44. How much you can accomplish on so little sleep.
45. After a C-section, they get your partner to milk you like a cow with a syringe… Bye bye dignity. Not one of my highlights, pretty sure it wasn’t his either!
46. The brain fog – your brain literally stops working.
47. You will need to pee in the shower or bath for a while.
48. Lactulose was my best friend.
49. Labour pains after birth after twins. I thought I had another in there as the pains were ridiculous.
50. The first poo after a C-section. I thought I was gonna split in half!
