Whether you consider yourself a low-key, casual bride or have hopes of a big weekend to end all big weekends, there are endless options to fill your itinerary, both budget and boujie, to help see in your final days as a single lady.
So, you’re engaged?! Ahhh! Marrying the love of your life, committing to forever with your best friend, getting to wear the big, white dress of your dreams and dancing the night away with your nearest and dearest- what’s not to love? But let us not forget the one pre-wedding ritual that you may (definitely) have planned perhaps as much as the big day itself – the hen do!
Whether you consider yourself a low-key, casual bride or have hopes of a big weekend to end all big weekends, there are endless options to fill your itinerary, both budget and boujie, to help see in your final days as a single lady.
And with every good party comes a theme or aesthetic to tie it all together, and what better chance to go a little extra than a weekend with your fave ladies?! The style of the wedding in question will likely give some direction to the hen party vibes, be your bride one for some tacky but timeless penis straws or a chic and sophisticated soiree, gauging the feel of the party will be led by her.
So, get your notebooks at the ready and let’s get planning…
The Boho Bride
The Cottagecore lover, the beachy wave queen and friend with endless floral midi dresses, this theme is for the nature loving, wholesome bride-to-be in your life. A day or weekend with your boho bride involves activities designed to bring you closer together, allowing you to relax and converse over a glass (or 4) of wine during wine tasting, pottery painting or flower arranging. If your bride is a lover of all things calm and her love language is quality time, then tapping into wholesome activities that encourage memories worth scrapbooking will always be a winner.
Why not also try:
Spa day
Pottery painting
Cosy dinner
Wine tasting
Yoga
Flower arranging
Jewellery making
It’s all in the details:
The Boozy Bride
Chin chin ladies, this one’s for the life and soul of the party kinda brides who love nothing more than sinking a cocktail or two with the girls – let’s raise the roof! A typical hen involves drinking aplenty and for this bride, feeling the effects of a Pornstar Martini is a priority. Start with a bottomless brunch to get the good vibes a’flowing and make sure your stomachs are lined for a no doubt heavy hangover to come. Love a night out? Going ham on the disco-worthy decor, balloons and glitter for the occasion will ensure you get that 10/10 Insta pic ticked off before you’re knee-deep in Sambuca shots and straddling the stripper.
Why not also try:
Boozy Bingo
A stand up comedy night
A secret bar crawl
Hot Tug Hot Tub Party
Cocktail making class
Drunk karaoke
It’s all in the details:
The ‘Can’t Sit Still’ Bride
Go, go, go – when there’s group fun to be had, there’s no time for relaxing! Who even needs sleep anyway?! For a bride that can’t sit still and prioritises getting her 10,000 steps in over a night on the sofa, a jam-packed weekend of physically testing activities and team-building fun is what gets her pulse racing. A summer hen might involve glamping in a dreamy countryside location, paddleboarding into the sunset and horse riding through the hills, whilst a winter party sees you battling an escape room, 90s dance classes or disco dodgeball. Let’s keep it moving ladies!
Why not also try:
Scavenger hunt
Murder mystery
Go Ape
Axe throwing
Kayaking
It’s all in the details:
The Food Lovin’ Bride
A girl after our own heart, the theme of this hen is all about eating real good and we can’t think of a better use of our time or money tbh. Wedding season is a great time for food in general and there’s no reason the hen can’t be an extension of this, especially for the bakers, chefs and takeaway enthusiasts amongst us. Start the day with an indulgent brunch (Mimosas on repeat), followed by a late afternoon tea and finally a boujie tasting menu and cocktails to boot. Make the most of an excuse to go all out in the food venues you visit and you can guarantee it won’t be a weekend you’ll forget in a hurry!
Why not also try:
Walking food tour
Chocolate making
The Big London Bake
Cookery class
Luxury picnic in the park
It’s all in the details:
The Pampered Bride
This bride sure knows how to take care of herself, and looking her best is understandably a priority for her hen. A pamper party feels like the ultimate in throwback sleepovers, complete with face masks, mani/pedis, open-air rom coms and bubbles on tap, and there’s no better time to indulge in some serious self-care than in the run-up to the big day. A failsafe crowd-pleaser for besties, mothers-in-law and grannies too, a day or weekend spent enjoying some serious TLC makes for ultimate hen party success.
Why not also try:
Duck & Dry Blow Dry Party Spa treatments Hot tub by the sea Face gym Open air cinema
Between You and Me: Your Problems Answered Part 18
Trained therapists we are not but what we lack in PhDs, we make up for with our honest hunks of friendly but fair advice. We’re all fallible humans just trying to muddle through life as best we can!
From struggles with home life after uni to dealing with a break that turned into a break-up, we’re back with our monthly serving of life advice… because sometimes you just need to ask someone impartial on the internet what they would do in your situation.
Trained therapists we are not but what we lack in PhDs, we make up for with our honest hunks of friendly but fair advice. We’re all fallible humans just trying to muddle through life as best we can. Mistakes are inevitable, breakups suck and anxiety happens but when you have a system of support around you and the space to talk it out, positive change and personal growth doesn’t seem like such an impossible thing to wrap your head around, after all.
Consider this your window to rant – we’re all ears!
Holly
Hello lovely human,
I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling, I completely get how you feel. I met my best friends in the world at uni and you bet it’s a shock from seeing each other every day to only a few times a year. They all live at least 2 hours away from me.
I know how daunting it is to find new friends and you might feel like you’re being annoying but trust me that is not the case! After almost 18 months of not leaving the house, everyone is craving new relationships and meeting like-minded people. I’ve had people reach out to me online that I’ve not spoken to in 10 years and now it’s like those 10 years never happened. Try and put yourself out there, if you have a genuine connection with someone it doesn’t tend to go away.
Try and make a conscious effort to go out more. If you’re ever invited to go out with work friends, family or even just random meetups, do it! You might not make a connection with someone the first time but keep at it and you’ll get there. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is so good for confidence too!
Most areas now have Facebook groups for likeminded people, I’m part of a Brighton based one and there is probably a post about once a week of someone saying they don’t have many close friends, writing a little bit about themselves and then people comment if they want to meet up. It’s great, I know so many people who have moved and used this as a way to make friends. I hear that bumble BFF is great for making friends too. And a bit less scary because you know the other people on there are looking for exactly the same thing.
I think also talk to your current best friends about how you feel. It might be that you can make effort to see each other more often. Even if it’s not all of you together. It might sound dramatic but I’d also consider moving to be closer to one or two of them if you’re really struggling!
Good luck and know that everything works out in the end.
Danielle
Hey Anon, thanks so much for sharing your story with us, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I would be one of the friends that moved away from the group, first to London then to Brighton and because I arrange to see my family and home friends or London friends so often I was pretty complacent when it came t making friends in my area.
I’m busy every weekend I want to be, but I completely agree with you that I really miss that feeling of spontaneous nights in or popping to the cinema on a whim with friends as everything I do has to be organised. I’m probably not the best person to give advice on this as I have not succeeded in doing what your asking, but I have done a lot of research into it in case I’m ever feeling brave enough!
Now that we’re coming out of COVID imagine it as a re-birth to making friends and try and put yourself out there, which is much harder than it sounds! For me most of my friendships have come from work so maybe try to get something social together outside of work with your colleagues, you do see them every day which means you can grow a really strong friendship quite quickly.
We wrote a really great article for navigating friendships as an adult that I think you’ll find super helpful, I also remember reading a little piece from Charlotte Jacklin that helped me feel less alone, simply by understanding that there are so many people who feel similar to you! Good luck love, I’m sure you’ll be sending that Saturday night takeaway text before you know it! x
Charlotte
Hey anon! I wish I had better news for you but even reading the subject line of your dilemma made my heart sink a bit having been the girlfriend in a situation like this, so although my immediate reaction is maybe a bit more emotional than most, I do think fundamentally anyone would agree it’s not okay.
The dynamic you’ve found yourself in is entirely his fault, let’s get that straight first. He should never have engaged in that kind of conversation with you as someone in a relationship, and I think the fact he has crossed that boundary at all is very telling of his character. Is that the kind of person you could really trust or rely on? Also the fact you were talking to him for a while and he managed to conceal this from you is really concerning in my opinion! Not good vibes.
You’ve definitely done the right thing in taking a step back, and if you both really do like each other it will have to wait until he is ballsy enough to end his relationship because he cannot eat his cake and have it too sadly! My advice would be forget about the guy, find someone available and with no baggage and enjoy spending time with someone knowing there’s none of this background noise going on.
If you’re meant to be together then I think the universe will draw you back into each others lives when he’s ready. Good luck!
Darcey
Hey anon! If I’m honest, I really don’t think you should talk to him about it. I think for something so little, that you think he might like you too, just isn’t enough of a reason to potentially create all this drama and upset. It sounds as well to me that he’s a bit of a flirt, potentially with other people too, as it’s super weird to have been speaking to him for so long and to have had no idea about his partner?! Aka, he didn’t want you to know, but is that a good sign? Not particularly as it shows a lack of respect for his partner from him. I think this kind of behaviour can really show someone’s true colours, it’s all very sneaky and when something has to be kept secret, it’s usually because you know you are doing something wrong.
I do totally emphasize with you as liking someone who you can’t be with really sucks, but at the end of the day they have a partner and that person’s feelings have to be considered as well. I truly think the best option is to take a step back from this guy and have some space. There are so many people out there who would be happy to give you all of them, not just a tiny slice! I just think this relationship isn’t particularly fulfilling for you and I’m not sure it ever will be as it sounds like they don’t have any plans to break-up with their partner anytime soon. The only person that will end up getting hurt in the long run is you, and we would like to avoid that please! If you are truly meant to be together, you’ll find each other at the right time, but I think for the time being, this isn’t the right time. It’s going to hurt not speaking to them, but I do think it will be for the best, but you know your gut and you have to trust your own instincts sometimes too! All the best Xx
Lareese
Hello my love,
First of all, huge congrats on getting through the first year of uni in these crazy times. I can’t imagine how disruptive trying to study during these last 18 months must have been! Bloody well done to you for getting through it. It sounds like everyone’s struggling in their own way in your household and that can’t be easy to be around. You’re right to address it. It’s far too easy to sink into a negative mindset very quickly when you’re around that tense energy 24/7, that said, I think there are definitely ways to support the others whilst being mindful to respect your own boundaries and keep something back for you.
Could you suggest doing something fun as a group to lift the mood and shake up this routine of waking up and feeling crappy? If they’re struggling with depression, they might not have that get up and go energy or motivation to plan a day out together but it could be nice to have a change of scenery and have a bit of bonding time, even if it’s a simple day at the beach or a picnic with games. Test the waters and see what they say but equally, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be the mood-lifter or the life and soul all the time because that in itself can be an exhausting role. Do your bit to be there for them as all friends should (as much as your emotional capacity will allow) and if nothing changes, don’t feel guilty for removing yourself from the situation, going on walks, doing the things that make YOU feel good and respecting your boundaries. Also, talk it out – I know, eye roll, it’s such a basic thing to say but as is this case with Between You & Me, I feel like the majority of people aren’t necessarily looking for answers to their problems, they just need someone’s space and time so they feel heard and understood. I hope you try to find some pockets of joy this summer whilst you’re home. Look after yourself xxx
Charlotte
Hey, anon! Congratulations on finishing your first year at uni- what an achievement! I hope you find some comfort in knowing that the way in which you were able to adjust to going to uni in September for the first time is very much the same as adjusting to coming back, and so although it feels difficult, I know you have it in you to do it. It can be really challenging to support those around you with mental health problems without it impacting you too, so I’d say prioritising your free time and making sure you can get out of the house when you can is essential for you. You mentioned that aside from your boyfriend you can feel quite lonely so I think making some new friends in your hometown would be just the ticket. Bumble BFF is great for this, and most towns have local Facebook groups for women in that area and I often see people posting in the Brighton equivalent looking to meet up with like-minded people for a walk or some drinks so it’s absolutely worth putting yourself out there if you can. I think having some balance in the time you spend with family and time dedicated to freeing up a bit of your headspace is key.
I know you’re a student so I imagine you’re on a low budget but I wonder if looking into therapy is an option? As I mentioned it can be really taxing to take on the emotions of others, no matter how much we love them, and having a bit of mental health support for yourself would go such a long way in my opinion! If not then I find journaling to be a really useful outlet for my emotions and it’s a free and easy way to vent those and feel some release. Take a pen and paper, set a timer for 20 minutes (or however long those feelings keep coming for) and write an unfiltered account of everything that’s troubling you- even the stuff you wouldn’t say out loud to anyone else. You can rip it up or scribble it out at the end and it might just help to give some space to any difficult feelings.
Remember that your experience at home is so valid and being able to vocalise what you need is okay and necessary and a priority. Sending lots of love and light.
Holly
Ahh, the old break to break up dilemma. Let’s start by saying although you probably feel very isolated at the moment, this happens to sooo many people and you aren’t alone in how you feel.
There is genuinely no pain like a break-up and the break is awful, you just sit there for however long, feeling helpless and hoping your other half makes the right decision. I’m all for breaks to get your head straight but when it’s not a mutual decision, it’s hard to get your head around. The fact that he took time to really think through your relationship shows that he respects you and definitely still cares for you so please find some peace with that.
At the moment your emotions are so raw, you can’t be expected to know exactly what to do or how to act. What you’ve done so far is amazing, it’s so hard to distance yourself from someone you love but deleting his contact details was 100% the right thing to do. That isn’t to say you’ll probably try and get in touch in a moment of desperation (we’re all human) but for now, you’ve done the right thing.
Surround yourself with good people, your friends are family are vital right now and just let yourself be sad. 6 years is such a long time and it will take you a while to get over that. Eat loads of chocolate, watch sad films but also try and make yourself happy too. Put on some powerful music and get a drastic haircut. Al the cliche things really do help.
So often people get complacent in their relationships and when someone new and exciting comes along, they think it’s what they want. I give it a few months before he realises it is likely just a fling and comes running back. By which time, you’ll be a strong, independent person who can make an informed decision on who you want to be with, and I’d put money on it not being him.
Sending you a big cuddle, it gets better I promise.
Holly xx
Danielle
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with a breakup, heartbreak really is the worst kind of pain and there’s barely anything that can cure it other than time which as we all know can’t be put on fast forward. It sounds like he had checked out of the relationship when he started having feelings for this person he worked with, which adds another layer of heartbreak as you’re probably feeling rejected which is always a terrible feeling.
I’d start your journey to happiness without him ASAP and kick things off by blocking him on every platform as well as his number, not to be petty but seeing him come up on your timeline and stalking him while you’re drunk is not a good move, you’ll end up going 10 steps back. You probably have a ton of people telling you this but it really sounds like you dodged a bullet, and this break-up will be the making of you. The next thing is to just feel what you’re feeling, if you want to spend Saturday night watching romcoms crying then do it, but try and lean on your friends for support. Try and get some exciting things in the diary with your mates to look forward to, and start journaling your thoughts and feelings, things that make you sad and things that make you happy about the situation.
Finally, I just want to say relationships that start when you’re 17 truly have the smallest chance of making it long term, one of you will 100% end up changing and the fact it’s happened now is probably a massive blessing. Think of your life ending when your 100, and all the amazing things you want to achieve and do in between now and then, this guy will be a blip in your timeline and when your walking down the aisle and having children you’ll think back to how you thought it would be with this guy and actually laugh I guarantee you.
Lareese
Hello lovely,
Thanks so much for writing to us and being bold enough to open up about it, that’s a huge step in the right direction. I feel like you need to hear this: you’re braver than you know! Look how you just opened up about your mental health, just like that… all those baby steps mean you are making progress and you should absolutely acknowledge how far you’ve come already. It’s incredibly easy for someone who isn’t struggling with mental health conditions to say seek help and talk about it, and by sharing what you have with us today, you’ve actually made me all the more aware that even getting to the point where you feel comfortable to trust someone professional with your feelings is a milestone in itself. Even if that first hurdle felt terrifying and anxiety-inducing, you did it.
I would hazard a guess that what you went through on the phone call is incredibly ‘normal’, especially as you were not expecting it, which ultimately left you feeling panicked and unprepared to discuss your mental health, hence why you wanted to shut it down and block the number to avoid the situation happening again. Anyone would feel the same. This is all new to you and phone calls are awful at the best of times haha, let alone when a stranger is putting you on the spot about the tough stuff you want to work through. Owning the way you’re feeling and making that decision for yourself to get therapy takes guts and self-worth, and I think on this occasion, it was just really unfortunate that the way the conversation came about wasn’t conducive to sharing intimate details about yourself – it didn’t provide the calm and safe environment you need to have that dialogue in the first place.
Reaching out to this organization to begin your therapy journey says to me that you’re ready for it, but I think this sudden phone call has just thrown you a tad and chipped away at your confidence. Maybe email the organisation and explain that you’d like to continue with next steps in your own time and in a way that allows you to ready yourself to open up. Explain that the initial phone call was triggering for you given that you weren’t expecting it, but if you can get a set time and date to discuss things further, you’d like to try again (if you’re comfortable with that of course).
It’s not going to be an easy or instant process but at least if you know when to expect those phone calls, you can prepare yourself adequately and get into the mindset that allows you to think right, I’m ready to talk now and prepared to answer the questions they may need to ask to help me.
I have everything crossed for you and your future, it sounds like you’re on the brink of making some really positive changes for yourself. Please keep us posted with how you get on as we’d all love to hear from you in a few month’s time because you absolutely WILL do this. Go surprise yourself! Loads of love xx
Darcey
Hey anon! I’m so sorry you are having a difficult time with your mental health, but even thinking about going to therapy is a step in the right direction, so you should be super proud of yourself! This a really great question and I think more people feel this way when looking to start therapy than you might think. Starting therapy can feel so daunting and to be honest it actually can feel pretty scary at first. I started therapy in September last year, after similarly like you considering it for about a year. Something quite big in my life happened that pushed me to seek help and if I’m honest I was pretty scared to start looking because it’s admitting you are having problems and knowing you are going to have to speak about them.
Therapy is hard and it takes a lot of facing yourself and learning to open up, especially with a complete stranger! So, I’m not surprised you left that call feeling panicked, if I’m honest I think them calling you at random doesn’t seem all that professional either. Whenever I’ve spoken with a therapist, we organise a time together to meet and discuss my needs, this way it feels like you are more in control. I can tell from your question that you are serious about wanting to start therapy and you are so brave! So, I think put yourself back out there and contact some therapists yourself, have a big goggle sesh looking at local therapists and find some who 1) specialise in what you are wanting help in and 2) have a face that to you seems friendly and like someone you could potentially talk to and lastly 3) check they have the correct qualifications! I think having more control over the situation will make you feel more safe and secure. You’ve 100% got this and I can promise you that you won’t regret starting therapy, just got to make that final push! Wishing you all the best in the future Xx
Swirling into this week's team picks are sensory overload items from our faves at Jaded London, Boohoo, Nasty Gal and more, offering budget to boujie options to jump on this trend in time for the heatwave- let's go ladies!
No you’re not stuck on the funky funhouse after one too many beers at the fairground, you’re simply looking at summer 2021’s hottest trend: swirl print. This psychedelic 80s dream is everything a maximalist dresser could need and more in the wardrobe department, and high street brands and indie small businesses alike have jumped on the trend quicker than Shannon was a contestant on Love Island (too soon?).
Swirling into this week’s team picks are sensory overload items from our faves at Jaded London, Boohoo, Nasty Gal and more, offering budget to boujie options to jump on this trend in time for the heatwave- let’s go ladies!
Charlotte
I’m SO into this trend it’s unreal! Jaded London is a brand I’ve only come across recently but am well and truly head over heels for and this romper is an adorable representation of some of the funky prints and designs they have going on in their summer collection. A piece like this really does all the talking, and so as much as I like a clashing print I’ve kept it relatively simple with the accessories and just tied in some bold colours to finish off this heatwave appropriate look.
I’m loving trousers this summer, I think they’re a bit cooler than dresses or skirts so I’ve gone for these swirl flares from Nasty Gal, they’re quite 70s and fun, they’d be great at a festival. I’ve carried the swirl theme through to the rest of the outfit with this cute cream cami from Weekday, wavy gold hoops, and sweet Fendi bag I absolutely cannot afford.
I love this trend so much I think it’s super fun and summery! I really like this swirl print shirt dress from ASOS, especially because it’s neon green. Paired with some white trainers and this beautiful hot pink Jacquemus bag, proper Summer vibes, add some gold jewellery and you are good to go!
Confession: I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to styling swirl print. Admittedly, it’s not something I’d usually wear but I can appreciate the power of the print, nonetheless and I am ALL here for the 70s vibe. I’m dipping my toe into the trend with a ruched satin top, straight leg jeans, sneakers and sunnies.
I am all for the swirls, I feel like I’m living my whole 90’s dream when I am on the swirl hype. I’d wear this top for a sunny BBQ day paired with some black shorts. Perfect to dress it up with some chunky necklaces and nice boots.
We Spoke to Two People Who Found a Relative Through a DNA Service
In this blog post, we spoke to two people who’ve used a DNA website to make sense of their past, discover their ancestry and find long-lost relatives they never knew they had.
We’ve all sobbed over episodes of ITV’s Long Lost Family before – twins separated at birth reunited decades later, young mothers who had to give up their babies meeting their children once again, now fully grown incredible humans, and adoptees tracing their biological parents to find out how their story came to be, we will never know how Davina manages to hold it together. It’s beautiful to watch.
In the age of Facebook, Google and at-home DNA tests, building our family trees and uncovering our genealogy has never been easier. In this blog post, we spoke to two people who’ve used a DNA website to make sense of their past, discover their ancestry and find long-lost relatives they never knew they had.
Whether you’re hoping to trace your own ancestors someday but don’t know where to start your search or you’re just here for the heart-warming stories (grab a multi-box of tissues), we hope this feature will inspire you to find out more about your own family history and heritage.
Cassidy
Tell us a little bit about why it was important for you to find your relative, what inspired you to start looking into your ancestry?
I have been interested in genealogy ever since I was in middle school and that is when I got my DNA test. I convinced my mom and grandmother also to get theirs done. It wasn’t really until my senior year of college that I researched deeper into my ancestry and that is because I created a genealogical documentary for my senior project. You can watch it at this link.
It was important to me to find more relatives because I had very little information about my mom’s dad’s side of the family because everyone died very young except distant cousins.
How did you start your search? Talk us through which website you used and what the step-by-step process involves…
I started my search by looking through my DNA matches on FamilyTreeDNA, which is the site that I used for my DNA test. I then created a family tree on Ancestry with the knowledge that I had. Ancestry then helped me fill in some blanks and a distant cousin of mine also gave me tons of photographs and information.
What did you do once you had found your relative. Mixed emotions, we imagine?
It was exciting for me! I loved discovering new cousins from all around the world. I have a very small family and I have always wondered what it was like to grow up in a large family.
Did you always want to meet them in real life or was knowing that they existed, enough for you?
Yes, I for sure want to meet them in real life! I, unfortunately, discovered them during the height of the pandemic so it was impossible for me to travel to Italy, which is where most of the family I’ve met online is from. I have become Facebook friends with a multitude of distant cousins and I love seeing what they’re up to and finding common connections between family members that I knew or my mom or grandmother knew. I plan to meet up with some cousins in Illinois and Italy once the pandemic has settled down.
How did you feel going into the process compared with how you feel now? Was there any element of expectation vs reality, or was it exactly as you thought it would be?
I didn’t know what to expect going into this process because of my tiny family. I didn’t think I was going to find any cousins at all because of that, or any living cousins that is. I am so glad they have all been so friendly because I can imagine it be sort of weird when a distant cousin messages you on social media wanting to connect! I am so grateful for the connections I’ve established through this process.
Did you find out everything you wanted to know?
There is still, unfortunately, a lot of mystery surrounding my relatives because of their deaths at a young age. I also have a great-great-grandfather that went under a pseudonym for awhile so there is some craziness and a lot of unknowns pertaining to that!
How is your relationship with your relative now?
It’s fantastic! I’ll message them whenever I come across any photographs that I think they would appreciate or any documents I find. They all are very interested in genealogy also so I will give them my tips and tricks for creating a family tree.
Is there anything you weren’t emotionally prepared for?
The great-great-grandfather I previously mentioned was NEVER talked about when my mom was growing up so I don’t think I was emotionally prepared to all of the secrets that I uncovered. There were secrets that not even my mom or grandmother were aware of.
Did finding your relative change how you feel about your family history and your story, at all?
Finding my relative made me appreciate my family history and story even more. I learned all that my ancestors went through to make it to the United States from Italy and I’m very grateful for their sacrifices. I am glad that now I am older, I started to reach out to the names that I would see when I would get DNA matches online.
What advice would you give to anyone who wants to trace a long-lost relative?
I strongly encourage everyone to research their ancestry and contact any long-lost relatives that they come across. It definitely is scary at first because they are a stranger, but the conversations that come from your connection are such a blessing. I loved hearing new stories about my grandfather because he, unfortunately, was not able to speak for as long as I can remember and passed on twelve years ago.
Genealogy is commonly stereotyped as a boring hobby that only old people participate in, but that’s so not the case. Genealogy is for all ages and it is important to connect with people that may no longer be living when you are older. You don’t want to regret not developing a rapport later on!
Kathy
Tell us a little bit about why it was important for you to find your relative, what inspired you to start looking into your ancestry?
I didn’t know I would find a sister. Honestly, I was hoping to find my maternal grandfather. We’ve never known who he is. I never found that out. At the least, I wanted to know my ancestry as far as where I came from. 64% British, 22% Irish, etc.
How did you start your search? Talk us through which website you used and what the step-by-step process involves…
23andMe but the results came from ancestry.com. Once you buy the kit, you create an online account, spit in a tube and mail it in. It took several weeks for the results which I accessed through my account.
What did you do once you had found your relative. Mixed emotions, we imagine?
Yes, I was thrilled to find her but it was definitely a shock. My 2 full blood sisters that I grew up with still doubt the validity that she’s our half-sister because our dad was such a religious and wonderful person, he would give his shirt off his back to a stranger in need, he saved a mans life once who was burning in a car, of course risking his own. He worked so hard to provide for all of us. So bursting his perfect image is too much for my eldest sister especially. But DNA doesn’t lie.
Did you always want to meet them in real life or was knowing that they existed, enough for you?
No I definitely wanted to meet her in real life! Not only for myself but for my dad. And I’m so happy I did. Seeing the way she moves her mouth when she speaks and walks and smiles, it was like seeing my dad and grandma alive again somehow.
How did you feel going into the process compared with how you feel now? Was there any element of expectation vs reality, or was it exactly as you thought it would be?
I feel great about it. I was a little apprehensive to be honest because it was a bit unnerving to have my DNA “out there” but I’m glad I did it because I would have never known about her. I partially expected to find at least something about my maternal grandfather but didn’t so that was a bit off from reality.
Did you find out everything you wanted to know?
No I wish I could have found out who my maternal grandfather was.
How is your relationship with your relative now?
Wonderful. We text all the time and we’re planning a trip together with my other sisters. I think once they see her they will lose all doubts.
Is there anything you weren’t emotionally prepared for?
I believe my dad knew about her and that’s hard to understand. He wasn’t the type of man not to be involved in his child’s life. But her mother was married to another American soldier so he probably didn’t want to upset their family dynamic. Her dad didn’t know she wasn’t his biological daughter as far as we know.
My cousin once asked me about her at a family reunion many years ago. I told him that it wasn’t true and must be just a rumour. So it was always a family secret. My cousin recently told me no one spoke of it out of respect for my mom.
Did finding your relative change how you feel about your family history and your story, at all?
Yes it shook everything. My brother passed in May 2020 and she and I matched DNA that June. I think he had something to do with us finding her from the “other side”.
What advice would you give to anyone who wants to trace a long-lost relative?
Do it! It’s thrilling and even though you might learn dark family secrets it’s definitely worth it in the end. It’s important to know where you came from.
We caught up with Lizzy, the author of the Zoella Book Club July pick 'The Summer Job'!
First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?
Better than 2020. I really struggled last year with the pandemic, and I don’t know if I’m just used to it now, or what, but things are really picking up mentally for me. I’ve been working on my next book which is due in a few weeks (!)
We’re super excited to be The Summer Job for the Zoella Book Club, can you tell us what the process was like for writing your first adult novel?
I have no process. I am a sit and stare at an empty page with a vague idea kind of person, and then the story starts to come and I just go with the flow. It’s not a process I would recommend though because it’s extremely stressful! I often finish a draft and realise the entire premise has shifted, or the main character is a totally different kind of person and I have to go back and redo the start. I am untrained and it shows!
How did the jump go from writing YA to Adult fiction?
I struggled to find my place as a YA writer, and always knew that one day I would take the leap. For me, it felt natural and more free to write adult fiction, but some of my favourite books and authors write YA.
We adore the characters portrayed in The Summer Job, who did you find easiest to write?
I wrote so much of myself into Birdy. I wanted to pay a kind of homage to myself as a lost twenty-something (and yes, lost thirty-something too). I wanted to write a character who actively took decisions that would hurt people – but was a decent and good person regardless. I have a lot of regrets about decisions I’ve made, people I’ve hurt and in a way, this was my way of forgiving my younger self.
Having spent your early twenties in hospitality in Scotland did writing The Summer Job bring back fond memories of your time there?
Oh, my time in Scotland was just a dream. I had so much fun and learned so many life skills working in hospitality. It might seem strange if you’ve grown up eating in restaurants and with wine at your table, but I hadn’t. Hospitality gave me those basic skills and that knowledge that really forms a part of who I am today. I also spent a lot of days walking with my Aunt’s dog Teal, a gorgeous, sprightly black and white cocker spaniel, drank whisky, went fishing out on Loch Ness and fly fishing on the rivers. I love it. It’s part of who I am now.
Why do you think so many secretly dream of packing up and moving somewhere quiet and peaceful like Scotland?
Life is too fast and we cram too much into a day. I think lots of people want to move away from the responsibilities, the social pressures, the noise. Far from the madding crowd. I love where I live in rural Austria, but the isolation has its downsides. I miss people – terribly. The pandemic has meant my social trips to visit friends have come to an end. Although our three chickens provide some slapstick humour, they’re not great to share a bottle of wine with.
What are you currently working on?
I’m working on An Unfortunate Date, my new novel about a girl called Mara (31, Capricorn), a pregnant fortune teller, a hot European cellist, and a stargazing builder called Mike. It’s, hopefully, a story about love, destiny and our need to believe in something.
What have some of your top reads this year been?
The Push by Audrey Audain, You and Me on Vacation by Emily Henry, The Split by Laura Kay, Uncoupling by Lorraine Brown and Where the Rhythm Takes You (YA) by Sara Dass. All these books are out now!
Did you have to read wine tasting for Dummies like Birdy, or do you have some experience in sommelier life?
I learned a little working in restaurants, but no, not really. I had to do an awful lot of research on wine for that book!
What does your perfect weekend look like?
Saturday morning brunch, followed by a stroll around a farmers’ market. A pint at a pub mid-afternoon and maybe a dinner out somewhere in the evening. Sunday is the day for papers and coffee and catching up with family on skype. If it’s hot, a swim somewhere with my girls Billie and Georgia, and the afternoon lazily picnicking in a park.
I’ve just realised I have described the perfect weekend in London. I MISS LONDON.
What do you always carry with you?
My notebook, a very specific type of pen. Lip gloss.
What would your last ever meal be?
Anything by Ottolenghi. Literally anything. He could put mud into a shoe and hand it to me and I’d eat it.
What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?
Give yourself a break. Nobody ever said ‘I wish I’d spent more time on social media’ on their deathbeds. Not yet, anyway.
Spotlight on Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) & Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
If there’s anything out of the ordinary going on with your vagina, bacterial vaginosis is probably your prime suspect but as with most things affecting our anatomy, we don’t talk about it enough.
The vagina is a sensitive soul. All it takes is some high-waisted jeans or some bougie bath products and bam, it starts acting up and, let’s be real for a sec, smelling very down in the face.
If there’s anything out of the ordinary going on with your vagina, bacterial vaginosis is probably your prime suspect but as with most things affecting our anatomy, we don’t talk about it enough.
The best way to counteract any shame and misinformation about your vagina is to get to know all of it, and to dismantle the idea that a vagina must be a perfectly peachy smelling thing, on its best behaviour at all times. BV happens, sometimes for no apparent reason, but it’s no biggie, and it certainly shouldn’t hold you back from living your life.
A mild vaginal infection is crazy common, as is the Human Papillomavirus (HPV), so to help you deal with these common viruses and infections, understand your intimate pH levels and do right by your vagina and your vulva, here’s the what’s what of BV and HPV.
What is Bacterial Vaginosis?
Most people have heard of thrush and cystitis, but BV? Not so much!
Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) is not an STI. Let’s just set that record straight. BV is an infection of the vagina caused by an imbalance in the naturally occurring vaginal bacteria. It’s the most common type of vaginal infection (affecting one in three vagina owners in their lifetime) and nothing to be embarrassed about, even if it is annoying af.
Good bacteria known as ‘Lactobacilli’ is vital to maintaining the health of a vagina. It’s this bacteria that keeps your vagina moderately acidic to prevent bad anaerobic bacteria from growing. The pH scale ranges from 0-14, with anything below seven considered acidic and anything above seven considered alkaline. A typical vaginal pH level should hover between 3.8 and 4.5.
Whenever there are low levels of Lactobacilli, the vagina’s acidic environment or microbiome is all out of whack and the BV-causing bacteria called Garderella has its time to shine. Hello BV. It’s the ultimate tale of good vs evil, and in this twisted fairytale, our vagina is the Disney villain.
Around 50 – 70% of people who have BP are asymptomatic, but when symptoms do appear, they can include an atypical, thin grey, white or yellow vaginal discharge with an unpleasant smell, often described as ‘fishy’. Some people also experience burning when urinating and itching around the opening of the vagina. So yeah, pretty annoying and inconvenient but we move!
Whilst anyone with a vagina can get BV, you may be more at risk if:
You’re pregnant
You have multiple sexual partners
You do not use condoms for protection
You have an intrauterine device (IUD)
You douche your vagina
You have prolonged or irregular menstrual cycles – menstrual blood has a slightly alkaline pH and can therefore disrupt the “normal” vaginal pH levels.
Treatment
In some cases, BV clears up on its own however, to rule out other infections and avoid further complications you should always see a doctor. You don’t want to self-diagnose BV only to find out you’ve actually got a yeast infection or an STI with comparable symptoms.
In most cases, doctors will prescribe an antibiotic and the infection will clear up within a few days. Even if your symptoms have gone away, make sure you finish your course of antibiotics to ensure it doesn’t come back. A male partner will not need to be treated but if you have a female sex partner, she may also need treatment.
If left untreated, BV can make you more susceptible to STIs such as HIV, herpes and gonorrhoea and pelvic inflammatory disease (PIV). If you’re pregnant, it can also lead to premature birth and low-birth weight babies, so it’s important to be tested and treated at any stage in your pregnancy if you think you may have BV.
There are some measures you can take to lower your risk of getting BV:
Avoid douching – the vagina is self-cleaning, so douching can upset the natural balance of good bacteria present in your vagina. Using just warm water to clean the outside of your vagina is the best way to avoid upsetting your pH levels. Avoid scented or heavily perfumed products and limit your bubble baths. Sorry, Chandler.
Use condoms / dental dams every time you have sex
Wear breathable cotton underwear
Clean sex toys after every use
Increase intake of rich probiotic foods
Wipe from your vagina to your anus (front to back is the golden rule, people!)
Quit / cut back on smoking
What is Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Unlike BV, Human Papillomavirus is a viral sexually transmitted infection, and a very common one too. Most women and men will be infected within months or years of being sexually active, even if they’ve had few sexual partners.
It can be spread during skin-to-skin genital contact and vaginal, anal and oral sex, even when an infected person has no signs or symptoms.
There are around 200 varieties within the HPV group and though usually harmless, there are two types of low-risk HPV that can lead to genital warts and at least a dozen high-risk HPVs (particularly types 16 and 18) that can persist and progress to cervical cancer or cancer of the vagina, anus or throat. Men are also at risk of penile cancer.
Treatment
In most cases of HPV, your immune system will get rid of it on its own and you will never even know you had it. However, you can also still pass HPV to your partner(s), even if you don’t have any symptoms.
High risk HPV can usually be easily treated before it turns to cancer, which is why attending your regular Pap smears / cervical cancer screenings is important as they can detect abnormal cells on your cervix, often caused by HPV. However, they don’t detect the HPV infection itself.
There’s no treatment to cure the infection itself but the conditions caused by HPV, such as genital warts, cervical cell changes (abnormal cells) and cancer, can be treated.
You can do several things to lower your chances of getting HPV:
Get the HPV vaccine – there are currently three HPV vaccines available in the UK:
Gardasil Cervarix Gardasil 9.
When given in the recommended age groups, the vaccine reduces the spread of HPV and reduces the risk of diseases caused by HPV, including cervical cancer. Children who start the vaccine between the ages of 11 – 15 have two doses over a 6 – 12 month period, whilst teens and young adults who receive their first dose at age 15 – 26 need three doses over a 6 month period to be protected. If you are female and have had the HPV vaccine, you still need to attend your cervical cancer screening as the vaccine protects against 7 in 10 cases of cervical cancer. The smear test helps detect any abnormal cell changes caused by other HPV types.
The vaccine is recommended for anyone age 11 through to 26 if they’re not already vaccinated. The vaccine can be given to anyone between 26 and 45 who didn’t receive all their vaccine doses, though it is not routinely recommended because they are more likely to have been exposed to HPV already. The vaccines provide maximum benefit if a person receives them before he or she is sexually active.
Men who have sex with men (MSM) are currently offered the vaccine for free up to the age of 45 and some transgender people, depending on their individual situation, can also have the vaccine for free.
Wearing condoms can reduce the risk of HPV but they don’t offer complete protection as HPV can infect areas not covered by a condom.
If you’re concerned about HPV, have any questions or need some emotional support, call the free Jo’s Trust helpline on 0808 802 8000
24 Beautiful, Budget Friendly Wedding Dresses to Say ‘I Do’ In This Year
Whether you're newly engaged and are living in your bubble of lurve or have had your big day pushed back so many times you gave up on finding the dress, it turns out the good ol' British high-street has well and truly got you covered in finding the perfect number for your once in a lifetime day.
We don’t mean to alarm anyone but weddings are a THING again and saying ‘I do’ to your boo just became a reality once more after 18 months of uncertainty and cancelled plans- we love, love! Whether you’re newly engaged and are living in your bubble of lurve or have had your big day pushed back so many times you gave up on finding the dress, it turns out the good ol’ British high-street has well and truly got you covered in finding the perfect number for your once in a lifetime day.
Money Saving Expert estimates the average wedding can cost anywhere from £18,000 to £32,000, making the rise in high-street brands stocking beautiful and both contemporary and classic wedding dresses all the more appealing. Brands including ASOS, Whistles, Monsoon and Next are killing the game with their dreamy selections starting from as little as £90, as well as slightly pricier destinations such as Reformation and Olivia Rubin offering gorgeous gowns for considerably less than the average price.
Silky, chiffon, short, long, jumpsuit or mini dress, the high-street gems available to help you wow on your big day mean you’re spoilt for choice in the white (/ivory/cream/baby pink) dress of your DREAMS. Which one do you have your eye on?
These 3 Summer Interiors Trends Will Make You An Instant Homebody
From small soft furnishings updates that make a big impact to structural changes for dramatic change, there's no better way to play around with this season's biggest trends than by visualising and creating them on Redecor. An interiors game you won't want to put down!
This article is a part of a paid promotion with Redecor.
Summer switch-up anyone? The annual spring clean might be most synonymous with getting your home in order, but there’s something about the transition into the balmy summer months in which iced coffee takes precedence over hot that can inspire changes in your environment as well as daily habits. From small soft furnishings updates that make a big impact to structural changes that make a more permanent, dramatic change, 2022’s interior trends are all about creating a peaceful, sanctuary-like space you can truly unwind in.
Whether you’re a commitment-phobe who freaks out at the idea of change, or simply in the process of deciding which interior updates to make in your home this summer, Redecor could just be the helping hand you’re seeking. Redecor is a free home decorating game which offers you a chance to get creative and complete daily design challenges, styling photo-realistic spaces with various design styles and allowing you to switch out wallpaper, upholstery, throws, pillows, floors and more! Vote on other people’s designs and be part of an inspiring community, and help visualise the updates you want to make to your own IRL home. Available in the App Store and Google Play Store for free, download today and get ready to improve your design skills ready to try out this summer’s hottest interior trends in your own space…
Since the claustrophobia and intensity of the 2020 restrictions, the desire to spend as much time as possible outdoors has grown tenfold. Studies have shown that simply seeing the colour green can lower stress levels and increase alertness, and spending time in nature is known for improving mood, reducing feelings of stress or anger and improving your physical health (check outforest bathing for more on this). If you’re in need of some zen, it might be time to consider bringing the outside in…
Bringing nature into the home has since become one of the biggest trends in the land of interior design, from adding natural textures to upping your plant mum responsibilities, there are plentiful ways to create a nature-filled haven in your home. For those who can kill a plant within a week of getting it home, try using colours that are inspired by the outdoors- greens, blues, tan and neutral tones- to inject the feeling of peace into your space.
If you’re ready to commit to a bigger change in your home and have the luxury of an outdoor space, why not add bifold doors into your garden or terrace, creating an open plan, flowing space where the outside literally blends seamlessly with the indoors. Additionally, floor-to-ceiling glass panels are a beautiful way to flood your space with natural light, creating a portal to the outdoors and a light and airy feel during the cooler months too. For more inspiration, search Pinterest for peekaboo and picture windows, living walls, trailing plants and internal courtyards.
Self Spaces
Self-care is cool, period, and this next trend is something we have absolutely no problem getting on board with. Our space innately impacts our mood and wellbeing, and newresearch shows that over a third of people in 2022 have created a place in our homes that is dedicated to wellness or hobbies, with 48% saying that they would look for such a room or space as a priority in their next home. Yay to ‘me’ time!
From reading to working out, unwinding in a spa-like bathroom to hiding away in a nook that feels like pure escapism, creating a self-space in the home is a design choice you’ll never regret. According to retailer Not On The High Street, the UK’s top 10 preferences for self-spaces, are – Reading corner, Gym, Walk-in wardrobe, Cinema room, ‘Man cave’, Music room, Arts & Crafts studio, Gaming room, Study room, Mini library. The era of self-care is now.
Arch Allure
Another lockdown phenomenon – the painted arch. Whilst shops were closed and boredom levels were high in 2020, TikTok exploded with videos of DIY colour block arches being added to homes across the world. And turns out the trend is here to stay, with everything from mirrors to entryways, windows and fireplaces appearing in delightful arch forms, this characterful trend can either feel delightfully romantic or strikingly minimal. No matter the size of your home, there are plentiful ways to introduce the humble arch and a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ whether in a way that takes centre stage as a dramatic feature or more subtly adds to the overall style of your home.
Not sure whether you’re more Parisian chic or pared-back minimalist? With the Redecor game, you can create two different designs within one interior space, helping you streamline your personal taste and experiment with a range of furnishings before making those all-important changes in your own home.
Improve your design skills and get inspired this summer by downloading the Redecor game via the App Store and Google Play Store.
As a nation, it's time to manifest some serious warmth, and when that time comes we need to be prepped and ready to hit the Lidos, parks, garden sun loungers and British beaches in a swimsuit or bikini that leaves us feeling 10/10.
The buzz of an airport and stomach flipping motion as your plane jets off towards warmer climates might still be an unfamiliar feeling for many of us this summer, but it doesn’t stop us getting our hopes up every time we feebly check BBC weather in the hopes of some well-needed sunshine. Football’s coming home, Love Island is back on our screens and all we need now is a heatwave to complete a proper, British summertime celebration.
As a nation, it’s time to manifest some serious warmth, and when that time comes we need to be prepped and ready to hit the Lidos, parks, garden sun loungers and British beaches with our best-pedicured foot forward and in a swimsuit or bikini that leaves us feeling 10/10. Whatever your swimwear concerns (because God knows it can be a nightmare to shop for) the team have compiled their current add-to-basket worthy picks to see you through the rest of the summer season, and ensure we all get a fire Instagram photo as soon as the temperature hits anything above 22 degrees. Hey, we’re in the Euros final, anything can happen in 2021!
Zoe
Being pregnant, I’ve found the offering of maternity swimwear a bit dire, but have found that the “crinkle” style is my favourite to wear! They mostly come in one size which means the stretch they have to offer is SO good and still comfortable. I also like that you can different styles of crinkle costume too, so you still feel somewhat stylish with your beach ball tum and enlarged boobies out the front!
I do a lot of sea swimming in the summer months so swimwear leaks will not be wasted on me in 2021. I’ve had my fair share of camel toe slips and see-through disasters, so at this point I’d rather invest in a few trusty pieces that will make this water baby’s ocean dips a plain sailing, blush-free experience. Sezane have got some beautiful cozzies in at the moment (I’ve full on coupled up with this floral number) and Monki have got some great separates you can mix ‘n’ match with different bikinis. Always a win when you’re in rush to get to the beach. Just grab whatever’s at the surface of your underwear drawer and go!
When it comes to swimwear I’m usually much more adventurous with colour than I am with the rest of my wardrobe. I’ve gone for a couple of options, this lilac bikini in that material I can’t quite describe as well as a costume in a similar palette with a cool straight neck line. I’ll alway pair swimwear with an oversized lightweight shirt, it’s such a good holiday vibe and great when I want to get my skin out the sofa. Love these lilac sunnies and some sandals that go with everything to finish the look!
We might not be jet setting anywhere exotic this year but Brighton beach is where it’s AT in my opinion no matter the travel restrictions. The weather has been somewhat lacklustre this summer so far I have to say but I love a little dip in the sea even when it’s not scorching outside so having a few good swimwear options I can rely on is essential. Swimwear is definitely something I’ve scrimped on in the past but the older I’ve got the more I’ve realised the importance of investing in certain items and I really do think swimwear is one of those things- no one wants a saggy bottom or see through boob! I see Frankies Bikinis a lot on Instagram and I think they’ve absolutely nailed Gen Z/trend driven but classic bikinis- if I was going on Love Island this is where I’d shop.
I love getting new swimwear as it feels like I’ve come so far in body confidence when wearing it! I used to hate buying swimwear when I was in my teens and I always felt so insecure wearing bikinis, but now I love parading around in little bikinis because who actually cares! Everyone is too busy having fun to even focus on what you are wearing on the beach/round the pool. I found this really cute pink bikini from AsYou, who isn’t loving pink at the moment?! I also love a crinkle style, so this blue set from Weekday and this swimsuit from 4th & Reckless were perfect finds.
I’ve struggled to find any swimwear pieces I really like this year. I like bright colours and bold patterns but most plus size swimwear is really boring and bland. My go to style is a bikini with high waisted bottoms and a very supportive top otherwise my boobs scrape the floor and they get in the way when I diving to the bottom of the pool doing handstands. I’ve got a few here that I would wear but to be honest, if there was more of a selection I’d still go for bolder, brighter.
The Year Of The Micro Wedding: 2021’s Trending Flowers & Colour Schemes
We spoke with Kate Symington, the floral designer at Gloam, to get her expert opinion on the colour combos and floral fancies to have on your radar for 2021 and beyond.
After a year-long hiatus, wedding season is back with a bang and soon-to-be married couples will finally be able to have their confetti moment. Alexa, play Etta James.
Despite roadmap delays and England’s big (freedom) day getting a postponement of its own, weddings will go ahead this summer, albeit on a more intimate scale and with less dancing. Probably a good thing for those of us who think we’re Patrick Swayze after a couple of sherbets. Nobody needs to see that.
So, what does the birth of the micro-wedding mean for this year’s floral trends and colour schemes? We spoke with Kate Symington, the floral designer at Gloam, to get her expert opinion on the colour combos and floral fancies to have on your radar for 2021 and beyond.
From seasonality and sustainability to elaborate cottagecore tablescapes, there’s a whole new dawn of wedding day trends to ensure your special day is larger than life in spirit, no matter how small the guest-list is.
Get saving these ideas to a secret Pinterest board immediately.
How have the current wedding regulations influenced what people want for their wedding flowers and colour palettes?
The Covid wedding rollercoaster has been challenging for many couples, and we have found many people have definitely had a change of outlook. They have opened themselves up to exploring seasonality and have relished playing with colour and texture. Couples have wanted more personal floral elements so that everyone feels part of the occasion. There has been a genuine wish for floral designs to emphasize the joy of finally getting married.
In the age of the micro-wedding, it’s all about the detail. How can you use colour to really marry (excuse the pun) all your elements together to complement the style of your wedding?
When most couples think of colour – they focus on details like flowers and wedding attire. But the colour palettes that form part of a Gloam style brief really do ‘marry’ the whole celebration together. Elements that we always consider include stationery, draping, table linens, signage, candles, statement furniture, and bespoke installations. Colour becomes a journey and a vital element of the story of your day. From the moment you send out your save the dates to that moment when guests arrive at your venue – colour can be the thread that connects it all.
What are the need-to-know colour schemes this year and what’s the best way to incorporate them into wedding decor and flowers?
We’ve seen several elements at work with colour palettes for 2021. Bright, Vibrant, and Joyful – couples are turning their back on safe. They want to make a statement – they really want to mark the occasion as, for many, it’s been a long road full of delays and cancellations. We have been making colourful signage, bright bouquets, and tiny colourful table details. It brings a wonderful kitsch feel to the fore.
Neutrals – this is a soft, relaxed palette made up of beige, ivory, smokey coppery pinks, terracottas and nudes. Ideal for those couples looking for a more chilled and relaxed feeling. These earthly tones add warmth and depth and pair well with a boho feel. These tones can be added with the use of dried elements, vintage rattan and textured fabrics. Details like ceramic bowls, woven placemats and copper detail can accentuate this vibe.
Seasonal Meadow – this isn’t really technically a colourway but a framing of your style. Couples commit to their seasonal, buying locally and sustainably. For example, in summer, you will have buttery yellows, vibrant lilacs, zesty greens and fizzy pinks. The look will be floaty and full of texture. This look can be paired with playful signage, low-level floral installations and gathered wild bouquets.
Any advice for anyone who doesn’t have an affinity with any colour schemes and flowers – where do you start?
When it comes to flowers and colour schemes – the best place to start is to follow the season. Speak to your florist about what’s going to be available. This might open you up to something you’d never even thought of. Each season has something wonderful to offer and you’ll be getting these elements at their best.
Other things to consider include your venue – some have quite a distinct decor while others can be more of a blank canvas. You might also want to think about the mood you are trying to set – festival vibe vs. romantic or party vs boho. This can help you define your colour palette. And a biggy – what colours do you actually love!
What have been the most popular flower requests for 2021, so far?
Peonies are always a firm favourite, but the season is so fleeting. And Ranunculus are so dreamy. We can’t wait to hit dahlia season! We try to advise our couples that the way to get the best out of our local supplies is to give them a colour spectrum to work with and let them select the finest blooms of the season. The results can be magical.
Has there been a rise in single stem floral arrangements or are big fairy-tale bouquets still enjoying their long-standing reign?
I think what we’ve seen when it comes to the design of bouquets is a sense of freedom. Couples are totally thinking about what they want and what makes them happy rather than being on-trend. We’ve made more single stem bouquets this year but also greenery only, wild and small, wild and large, dried mixed with fresh and dried only arrangement. We love that our couples feel so expressive.
Have you seen a shift in demand for wild nature-inspired arrangements over curated bouquets?
Our in-house style is wilder, gathered and a little unruly. We find that most of our couples are already very open to less curated arrangements. This trend also reflects the fact that wedding planning has been a little wild over the last year and a half. With all the rules and compliance that’s been involved in actually getting married, couples have definitely wanted to express themselves more and have achieved this by getting more creative with the details they could control.
We were initially surprised by the wish to increase the level of investment when it came to smaller weddings – we had expected people to reduce, reduce, reduce! But they wanted things to feel even more unique, and with the smaller numbers, they could re-look at certain elements they had discounted when dealing with a 100+ guest list. We had one couple create personal florals for all the guests who could not attend the ceremony – they were then delivered to those who were unable to be there.
What are your best tips for anyone having a monochromatic wedding?
Why pick one colour when you can have all the shades! We would definitely recommend picking ‘shades of blue’, for example. Don’t close down the design from the get-go – one rigid colour will make selecting items for your day so much more complicated and could leave things feeling flat. By using different tones, you can incorporate subtle contrasts and visual interest.
For anyone who’s not necessarily into traditional bouquets and flower arrangements, what other decorations can they incorporate to create a focal point at their wedding?
We are seeing couples really tuning into their venues when it comes to floral decor. Rather than thinking we need an arch or some urns – they are looking at their venue’s features and really trying to shine a light on those things that made them fall in love with the space. For example, a venue could boast a beautiful staircase or some rustic window ledges. Beautiful doorways might be the perfect spot for a romantic entranceway. Couples may want their guests to appreciate a great ceiling – making hanging installations a great asset. There are some powerful fireplaces in many venues just waiting to be adorned.
Due to limited dancing and restrictions, guests are spending even more time seated at the table. What’s your advice for nailing that tablescape magic?
If you want to make your tables sing, surprise your guests, make it personal and add texture and delightful hints of colour. With guest numbers, lower than normal, couples have invested in statement glassware or decorative plates. Adding little gestures like a floral detail to each individual plate always raises a smile. And adding a tiny handmade element that guests can take as a keepsake always adds a bit of magic.
The aisle meadow has proved pretty popular this year, it’s like cottagecore on heat! What are some things to consider if you’re going for this floral style?
Many of our couples are opting for floor-level arrangements rather than the classic arch or hanging installations. Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re thinking of opting for an aisle meadow: Firstly, consider the space – you will want to ensure that you still have enough space to walk down the aisle comfortably – you don’t want you or your guests getting tangled in them. You may need to direct your guest into their seats in a slightly different way – have someone on hand to help do this.
Think about how to maximise your investment because a full aisle meadow is a statement piece and will be a central part of your floristry budget. Depending on the meadow’s construction, your florist might be able to reposition elements of it after your ceremony so they can be enjoyed throughout the day – but this will need to be agreed upon in advance.
Have you seen a shift of focus on sustainability and using local seasonal blooms this year, at all?
There is a clear shift towards sustainability and seasonality. Many of our couples list this at the top of their must-haves. Venues like Guardswell Farm are also helping to drive this trend with their in-house sustainability policies.
What’s the best way to dress a micro-wedding in terms of decor and flowers – any strict dos and don’ts to adhere to?
When it comes to a micro wedding, the number one requirement is that the couple gets exactly what they want. This simple requirement can often get diluted when dealing with an extensive guest list. In terms of dos – focus on the detail and the personal touches. Focus on things you couldn’t do with lots of guests, invest in the things you really love.
One of our recent couples had armchairs and sofas for guests to sit on during the ceremony, making it feel so welcoming and informal. Do away with seating plans. Instead, you might want to create bespoke menus for each guest. Be flexible. There’s no focus on a schedule – take time with your guests – enjoy the surroundings. You don’t need a rigid order of events.
