If you're planning to channel Woodstock vibes this summer then crochet should absolutely be on your shopping list...
Shaggy hairdos, roller skating in flared jeans, Fleetwood Mac and knitted hot pants- yep, you’ve landed in the ’70s, and the obsession with all things retro is here to stay this summer…
TikTok and Instagram are abuzz with all things 1970s and honestly, we’re not mad about it. Crochet is one such trend, and if you’re planning to channel Woodstock vibes then it should absolutely be on your shopping list this season. One of the best parts about rocking crochet is the versatility of the trend and how many items it spans, whether it be full-on holey dreaminess in the shape of a co-ord, maxi dress or skirt, to smaller nods to the trend as bucket hats or beach bags, there are big and small ways you can get in on the hype whilst still making it wearable for you.
House of Sunny’s iconic Hockney Dress sparked a love for all things knitted everything during 2020 and crochet is the next fun and fabulous extension of that, guaranteeing you a cute AF Insta pic and some “she looks great!” glances in the street.
Zoe
This is definitely my favourite fashion trend this summer! I need stopping at this point as I just want to fill my entire wardrobe with crochet knit items. Especially good for pregnancy as it’s pretty stretchy and very airy on those hot days! haha! Zara has some particularly lovely pieces.
I’m not sure I love the very extra Coachella vibe crochet (probably just because I’m salty I’m not at a festival this year) but I’m all over a subtle nod to the trend! This dress from Zara is so chic and sexy and would look so gorgeous on holiday with a tan *cries. I’ve paired it with some Shrek worthy accessories to add a little somethin’ somethin’ and I honestly love it!
I’ve always loved a bit of crochet in the summer for those boho beach vibes but it’s definitely having a bit more of a moment this year! I always think if you’re just wanting to dip a toe into a trend it’s best to start with accessories, so I’ve picked this pastel blue floral bucket hat and tote. You could probably pop these on with most summer outfits but I’ve gone for fresh white dress and pastel strap sandals.
I am living for the crochet comeback – what a cheery summer staple. Zara & Mango have some gorgeous pieces in at the moment and since my summer wardrobe is still in the loft, it would be rude not to add this lot straight to my basket. I’m just being practical if anything. The cornflower blue set would be great for throwing on as a cover-up after a dip in the sea!
Not sure how I feel about the crochet trend, I like some of it but the majority of it looks like something my nan would wear. Not that there is anything wrong with what my nan wears but not my style… I think the key is to get exciting colours/patterns. So I’ve picked a few items here which I would wear. Likely to some kind of festival or day event.
I am loving crochet this Summer I just think it looks so cool and it’s also very versatile, perfect for beach days but also would look banging at a bottomless brunch, we love to see it! Crochet always trickles back every Summer too, although it’s really blown up this year, but it’s absolutely something that can be worn for many Summers ahead too.
The Sport of the Summer: Paddleboarding for Newbies
This is multi-tasking at its best, only instead of compromising your mental health, it complements it.
Stand up paddleboarding or SUP is the lockdown water sport everyone wants to have a go at and who can blame us? It’s a full core workout with the added benefit of not feeling like a workout (we’re sold), you’re free to explore the great outdoors, you can do it on just about any body of water – pa’s pond might be pushing it – and it’s perfect for all ages and skill levels.
With sunshine making a comeback, pootling along all the best coastlines, turquoise bays, rivers and lakes the UK has to offer is a glorious way to dive into the weekend, top up your tan and explore new places at the same time. This is multi-tasking at its best, only instead of compromising your mental health, it complements it.
If you’re a paddling newbie looking to test the waters, keep scrolling for your SUP 101.
The benefits of paddleboarding
From the shore, it’s very easy to assume that the SUP life is an easy life but don’t be fooled, those pros make it look effortless and once you’re on the water it is a top-notch form of cardio, especially if you’re racing friends or going at some speed to get your heart rate up. Hello abs of steel. The low impact sport is kind and gentle to your body, making it the perfect activity for anyone looking for something less strenuous than a couch to 5K.
The water has a relaxing effect on the mind and body
Beyond the endless physical benefits of moving your body, getting your exercise in the open air provides unrivalled mental clarity, too. The water has a relaxing effect on the mind and body, coupled with breathing in fresh air, getting a boost of vitamin D and socialising or making the most of the time to yourself, stand up paddling with nature as your backdrop is a great way to destress, switch off, boost your mood and work your entire body whilst you’re at it.
SUP requires mindfulness – it invites you to anchor yourself in the present moment, acknowledge the rhythm of the ocean and tune into your awareness. If your mind wanders at any point, it’s never too long before the water brings you right back to the board and the beauty that surrounds you. At a time when anxiety and emotional overwhelm is at an all-time high, it’s important to manage the pressures of daily life and find time to disconnect from social media and work. Taking the plunge is an excellent way to take charge of your mental health and grant your mind the sense of peace and space it needs to not only function but thrive.
Types of board
A stand up paddle board is much thicker and longer than your average surfboard. For newbies, the wider, thicker and longer the board, the more stability it has on the water and the easier it is to master the paddleboard basics.
Inflatable boards are typically less expensive than a standard hard paddleboard and are easily transportable
If you’re a first-time paddler, an All-Round SUP is great for all levels and conditions. Inflatable boards are typically less expensive than a standard / epoxy hard paddleboard and are easily transportable so if you’re planning to travel around a lot, the inflatable would be a great option for you. When it comes to performance, you can’t beat expoxy boards – particularly good for serious paddlers looking for increased speed and glide but more of an investment than your trusty inflatables.
For those who have some experience in SUP or other board sports and are looking for their next adrenalin adventure, you may want to explore the sport / performance board category.
There are also boards designed for particularly activities such as racing, yoga and fishing, so if you want a paddleboard for a specific use, this will narrow down your search.
Getting ready to SUP
First, you’ll need to adjust your paddle. The handle of your paddle should be able to reach the wrist – open the latch, put your arm above your head, bend at the elbow and reach for the handle to test it. Adjust your paddle height accordingly then close the latch.
Start on your knees
Once inside the water with your leash attached to your ankle, begin on your knees to get your balance under control and build confidence with your paddling before standing up.
Come to standing, placing your feet in the middle of the board with your chest forward and your eyes looking straight ahead at the horizon or something stable (not down at the water). Feet just under hip width apart, bend you knees slightly and engage your core. Bend forward slightly from your pelvis rather than your back and plunge your paddle into the water with the blade angled forward away from you to get the most power from your stroke. Pull the paddle back with your lower arm until you reach ankle-height, then reach forward and begin the movement again, switching sides every three to four strokes.
Some of the best SUP spots to get your paddle on:
Derwentwater, Lake District
It’ll come as no surprise that the Lakes are perhaps the best playground for stand up paddleboarding. Explore the secluded bays and river mouths and keep an eye out for the otters, kingfishers, ospreys and other wildlife. The world’s your oyster!
Windermere, Lake District
Another jewel in the crown of stand up paddleboarding in the Lake District. At 11 miles long and with easy access into the River Brathay, it’s the perfect spot to learn how to SUP.
Viking Bay, East Kent
Viking Bay is a beautiful spot to hop on your SUP and explore Broadstairs’ picturesque coastline. If you want to take to the water with confidence, you can even have a 2-hour group lesson with Kent Surf School for £35 or a private / couple’s session for £80.
The Norfolk Broads,
With 120 miles of navigable waterways, the Norfolk Broads are a haven for stand up paddleboarding. As part of the conservation and protection of the Broads, you will need to pay a short visit toll, which can be done online or at a number of outlets on the Broadshere.
Cuckmere Haven, East Sussex
For a gentle and relaxing paddle, dip your toes in the River Cuckmere. The mouth of the river flows close to the Seven Sisters chalk cliffs, the perfect place to end your paddle, especially at sunset. You can also head towards the historical village of Alfriston and pull your board out at the footbridge behind the church. Book various classes with Buzz Active from taster sessions to cover the basics to SUP yoga, social evenings and breakfast paddles.
Paddleboarding in the big city, who knew? Paddington Basin is a cute little spot for exploring the canals and stopping at a waterside pub or café for a well-earned refreshment. You also pass Camden Town, ZSL London Zoo and Regent’s Park so it’s a great way to do some sightseeing, too. Pub-to-pub paddling is our cardio now. End of.
In the height of summer, Brighton beach is a 10/10 spot to take your SUP. Plus, we get a pretty decent sunset round here. Polish off your water sports with an ice cream on the beach and you’ll have a pretty big smile on your face. A word of warning: don’t be tempted to go and explore the West Pier ruins though, as there are many sharp obstructions under the water which would cause serious injury.
Stackpole Quay to Barafundle Bay, Pembrokeshire
For a particularly scenic paddle with wildlife aplenty, try Pembrokeshire’s spectacular National Park coastline. Join the Outer Reef Surf School on a guided paddle past the rugged cliffs and caves and with a bit of luck, you’ll spot some dolphins and porpoises along the way. Book ahead, here: https://bookings.outerreefsurfschool.com/en/product/surf-lessons
Safety first:
• If you’re new to stand up paddleboarding, make sure you take a buddy along with you to keep an eye on you, or better yet, paddle at a busy spot with a lifeguard. It’s also a good idea with any watersports to let someone know exactly where you’re heading in case of emergencies.
• Always wear the ankle leash to connect you to the board so if you come off, the wind won’t blow your board away from you and you’ll be able to get back into shore.
• Look out for shallow rocks and reefs
• Off-shore wind can be dangerous – always paddle up-wind first so coming back will be easy.
Tattoo 101: Everything You Need to Know Before Getting Your First Tattoo
Getting your first tattoo can feel like a leap into the unknown as a total tattoo newbie, but you wouldn’t be alone if the itch to get inked has heighted since being in lockdown. The desperation to do something new and adventurous and tick that first tat off the bucket list means the books of […]
Getting your first tattoo can feel like a leap into the unknown as a total tattoo newbie, but you wouldn’t be alone if the itch to get inked has heighted since being in lockdown.
The desperation to do something new and adventurous and tick that first tat off the bucket list means the books of sought-after artists are likely to be filled with eager first timers and well-versed tattoo lovers alike, hankering for their fix of fresh ink. So, whether it’s a declaration of love to your favourite band, a tribute to your childhood pet or a fun design you like ‘just because’, here’s everything you need to know before getting your first tattoo.
What To Say When Making An Enquiry
Okay, so you’ve found an artist you love and you’re about to slide into their inbox: what do you say? It’s preferable to be as specific as possible in your initial email as most artists’ inboxes will be full of requests and enquiries and streamlining the process makes it easier for both you and them. Describe your design and attach reference photos if you can, although be aware that most respected artists won’t directly copy an exact design from someone else, so be prepared to adapt and work on a bespoke design specific to you. Be sure to include an estimation of the size you want the design to be (inches are usually the go-to measurement here) and specifics of the placement of the tattoo, too. Include your upcoming availability and you’re good to go.
It’s also important to remember tattoo enquiry etiquette and know that individual artists will have different systems and ways they want to be contacted. Although Instagram is a go-to spot for seeking out artists that work in your style, many don’t book in new clients via Instagram DMs, so it’s always worth checking their bio for the best way to reach to out to them. This might be an online booking form, email or indeed direct message, but do your research and approach them in the best way possible to hopefully ensure a speedy and happy response.
Before Your Appointment
It might be tempting to head to the pub for a G&T to calm your nerves or to pop some Ibuprofen if you’re feeling particularly anxious about the pain, but there are a few hard nos to take into account in the lead up to your appointment. Drinking, even the night before your tattoo appointment is never advised, as alcohol thins the blood and can lead to excess bleeding which could compromise visibility for the artist and therefore impact the quality of the design- not something you want to have to contend with, especially as a first-timer. Aspirin and ibuprofen are also off limits up to 24 hours before your appointment for the same reasons, so if you do end up with a mega migraine the day before, you might just have to push through the pain.
The Aftercare
Once your tattoo is complete it’s time to contend with the next stage of the process: aftercare and healing. A tattoo is essentially a wound, so it needs to be cleaned, looked after and treated as one to ensure it heals properly and to prevent any problems with infection or irritation. Your artist will either use plastic wrap or a clear, medical-grade bandage, like Saniderm or SecondSkin to protect it during healing, and these two options come with different guidance on how quickly you can remove them. Most artists will give you a handy at-home help sheet to take with you detailing all the relevant information for the next couple of weeks, but don’t be afraid to make notes or ask questions if you’re unsure about looking after your tattoo.
Avoid baths and swimming for two weeks following your appointment and wash the tattoo with warm water in the shower only – over washing can cause the skin to dry out and potentially damage the tattoo during this period. Different artists will have different preferences when it comes to moisturisers but keeping the skin hydrated and preventing peeling is the name of the game here. Some industry favourites include Aveeno Daily Moisturising Lotion, Lush’s Dream Cream Body Lotion or Palmer’s Cocoa Butter. Avoid picking, scratching or peeling at the surrounding skin at all costs and stay out of the sun for this initial healing period, too.
Feeling tempted? We spoke to the brilliant Charlotte Mallory of Rose of Mercy – an East London based tattoo studio run by artist and musician Frank Carter – to get the full lowdown on the most frequently asked questions on everything from deciding on tattoo design style, to the cost of getting inked. [The following images are Charlotte Mallory’s work]
Do you have any tips for choosing a tattoo design you won’t regret later down the line?
I think sitting on a few designs for a while is a good idea. Maybe making a mood board of designs you’ve seen and loved. Even drawing a few ideas onto your skin to live with it for a little bit of time. That being said – some of my favourite tattoos I turned up with no idea what I was going to pick. I think choosing the right artist is essential. Pick an artist you know you can collaborate with or who has done something similar to what you’re looking for.
What should you look for when choosing the right artist for you?
Choose an artist who does a similar style and line thickness to the kind of tattoo you’re looking for. A fine line tattoo artist won’t necessarily be great at thick-lined traditional tattoos and vice versa. It’s not always the case but it’s better to pick the artist based upon the work they’re displaying on their Instagram page and then you can be sure they’ll be able to give you the tattoo of your dreams.
What are the main tattoo styles to choose from?
Fine line tattoos
Traditional tattoos
Blackwork tattoos
Neo-traditional tattoos
Linework tattoos
Geometric or ornamental tattoos
Realistic tattoos
Black and grey tattoos
Micro realism
I could go on! There are a fair few more subcategories but I think those are the main ones!
There are also differences in the way a tattoo is made. For instance, machine tattoos (most people outside of the industry know these tattoos as ‘tattoo gun tattoos’, but within the industry, the ‘tattoo gun’ is known as a ‘tattoo machine’
And then there are hand poke tattoos – this is hand poked into the skin using the same needles that are used in tattoo machines, but they are made by hand and without the machine. This is a more homemade looking approach which some people prefer.
Do colour tattoos wear differently to black tattoos?
Yes, sometimes pale or light colours can fade out more quickly than black tattoos. However your tattoos can always be refreshed further down the line (in say, 10 or 20 years), and touch-ups are usually free up to a year after you’ve had the tattoo. (This isn’t always the case so check with your tattoo provider).
What’s the difference between machine tattoos versus hand poked and how do you know which is right for you?
Tattoo machines can provide a cleaner look than the more homemade made hand-poked approach. However, I have seen some hand-poked tattoos look almost as clean as a machine tattoo. Hand poked tattoos are placed into the skin one poke at a time with a needle (creating a single dot each poke), where a tattoo machine is making the needle move up and down extremely fast creating a line effect. Hand poked tattoos take longer and require less concentration from the tattoo artist so it can be a more relaxed approach during the session and you can have a longer chat with your tattoo artist. In terms of pain, I don’t find hand-poked too painful but some find it more painful than machine tattoos. It also depends on your artist and where you’re getting tattooed.
Will I need to get a tattoo touched up over time/how can I make sure it stays looking 10/10 for as long as possible?
The most important thing for your tattoos is SPF! Honestly, I never sunbathe because I love my tattoos! If you do like sunbathing, cover your tattoos up or put on a high SPF. Something to be aware of is that tattoo ink can minimally expand in the skin over the course of your life. Tattoos also look as young as your skin looks young. It sounds funny to say, but I’ve tattooed much older people up into their 70’s and the tattoo will look older even freshly done just based on the fact that the skin is already old.
Finger tattoos are very popular but they always seem a bit blurry, does the ink bleed in certain places on your body more than others?
The tattoo probably looks blurry because it has either ‘blown out’ where the tattoo artist has been heavy-handed to make sure the ink stays (because fingers are prone to ink drop out due to all the movement in the fingers and tendons and things like that). Or maybe it looks blurry because the ink has dropped out during the heal. Personally, I like to go with a happy medium and not go too heavy-handed or go too light. However, I would rather go too light if I had to pick between either as the fingers can always be touched up.
What’s the process like from start to finish? Does the artist typically design the piece before you arrive or should you expect the final design to be done on the day when you arrive?
Most artists prefer to have something ready for the client to look at on the day (just because there is a lot of back and forth if there are alterations and the alterations can be made a lot faster on the day with the client there). Make sure you’re happy with the design on the day, it’s your body and a good tattoo artist shouldn’t mind about any alterations you have and will want to work with you to give you a great tattoo and create the tattoo you have in mind.
What are the biggest misconceptions about getting a tattoo?
I think a lot of people think it will hurt a lot more than it does! It’s good to pick a place that hurts less or medium for your first tattoo. In my opinion, fine line or single needle small tattoos hurt less so maybe something like that is a good first tattoo idea.
Another misconception is that it is the tattoo artist pressing their opinion too much on you or being overbearing – a good tattoo artist will give you the space to express yourself and collaborate with you. You should always feel safe and happy when getting a tattoo. Perhaps go to a tattoo artist based upon recommendation, or go to a tattoo shop with great reviews. Do your homework, check out the tattoo artist’s Instagram page, the shop they work at and the reviews that the shop has.
Is getting a tattoo a bad idea for someone with a low pain threshold? What can someone do to help make the process easier?
There are numbing creams that you can use (not all tattoo artists provide this so it’s a good idea to provide your own or liaise with the tattoo artist or studio). Single needle tattoos are not particularly painful in my opinion so that is a good option. The least painful location for a tattoo is the forearm. A lot of pain can be the mindset you are in. Go fully prepared to the tattoo shop having eaten, and have a little chat with the tattoo artist before the tattoo begins to express your concerns and they should take that on board and perhaps do a little ‘dot’ with the tattoo machine on your skin where the tattoo is to start with so that you know how the rest of the tattoo will feel. Never be afraid to let the tattoo artist know that you’d like a break for a moment. The best tattoo shops are safe spaces and designed to put you at ease. Rose of Mercy (where I work at) was designed specifically with this in mind and to give the customer the safest and most relaxing experience.
Which part of the body is typically seen as the most painful to be inked?
I had a really detailed tattoo made on my knee cap with a coil machine. (This is a tattoo machine which hits a little harder than a rotary tattoo machine. They’re often used for creating traditional tattoos) – so that hurts a lot! That took three hours! Ribs can hurt if you are getting thick lines there. Feet can hurt also. Honestly a lot of pain can depend on the artist, their technique, the location, the style of tattoo you’re getting. There are many factors involved! I would say legs or arms is a good first tattoo location. I also do a lot of side boob/rib tattoos as first tattoos and the pain honestly isn’t too bad if you’re going for fine lines and something less detailed.
What happens if a tattoo artist makes a mistake?
Hmm… mistakes can happen if there is a misspelling. Especially so if the word isn’t in the language either the client or the tattoo artist speaks. Really double check spelling, grammar and translation is correct, and then triple check!
How are tattoos priced? Is it by design/size/expertise of the artist?
Yes, all of these things are taken into account. The tattoo artist may have special expertise in a specific style which may account for their pricing. Design, detail and size are also taken into account. Tattoo artists will charge either by piece or by the hour.
More detailed pieces like realism or micro realism may be charged by the hour instead of by piece. Tattoo artists often have a minimum spend per tattoo as well. This is because of the cost of their whole set-up, needles, and also the cut they are giving to the shop they work at.
Tattoo shops can take anywhere between 20-50% of each tattoo you do (depending upon the cut you have worked out with them) so it’s important to take this into consideration when a tattoo artist is giving you their pricing before the tattoo! The tattoo artist isn’t taking all of the money! Also needles, tattoo machine and other tattoo equipment the artist provide themselves. The shop will provide everyday things like razors, Vaseline, cling film, gloves and paper towels.
You can find Charlotte at Rose of Mercy, London, or book in with any of her other talented colleagues via their website: www.roseofmercy.com.
Sashay Into the Season of Love with These Failsafe Wedding Guest Looks
Besides wearing white and anything likely to upstage the bride (big no-no), dressing for a wedding is one of the best excuses out there to bag yourself a new outfit and go all out in contrasting your well loved loungewear- RIP joggers, you won't be missed.
Love isn’t cancelled! After a year of uncertainty and heartbreakingly postponed big days, weddings are slowly but surely filling our calendars again and we couldn’t be happier to celebrate with our nearest and dearest this year. Besides wearing white and anything likely to upstage the bride (big no-no), dressing for a wedding is one of the best excuses out there to bag yourself a new outfit and go all out in contrasting your well loved loungewear- RIP joggers, you won’t be missed.
Whilst it may feel that there are endless choices in the wedding attire department, dress codes and sticking to the well worn tracks of pastels, florals, silk and tailoring mean you can’t stray far wrong in dressing appropriately for the big day in question. If you have multiple celebrations to attend this summer, consider renting a ‘fit that you otherwise might not be able to justify purchasing outright (FYI you can check out our previous post for the details) or opt for a two piece suit that you can mix and match in the future. Attending a wedding might leave you feeling pressured to buy something shiny and new for the occasion, but if the Klarna emails are piling up then consider opting for a cotton dress that can be worn more easily day to day layered with a t-shirt, or a classic slip dress design that will be in style for decades to come.
SJ Strum, the founder of Baby Name Envy, the UK’s number one baby name consultancy, is on hand to answer all our baby-naming dilemmas.
Naming a tiny human for the rest of their life… it’s a walk in the park, right?
Not only do you need a title that suits them when they’re but a cute tiny hiccupping doughball attached to your hip but you also need a name that takes them right through to adult life and complements all their professional pursuits, whatever they may be. Ever met a lawyer named Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock? We rest our case. It is a high stakes decision and quite frankly, it gives the indecisive amongst us (@me) heart palpitations just thinking about it.
LuckilySJ Strum, founder of Baby Name Envy, the UK’s number one baby name consultancy, is on hand to answer all our baby-naming dilemmas. Naming little ones is in her wheelhouse, so whether you’re after something boho, earthy, minimalist or gender-neutral, SJ’s tips and unmatched expertise will help you make up your mind once and for all.
Get your shortlists and your best ‘veto’ voice ready!
What themes can be used to help identify the style of baby names that resonates with you?
My naming style has definitely evolved the more I’ve had children – most people I consult with get braver as they go along! But I’ve always looked for Vintage names with a free-spirited, outdoorsy vibe that aren’t super popular. But I had a lot vetoed by my minimalist Swedish husband!!! We agreed finally on Freddie David, Finn Barnaby Bo & Evelina Blossom
Has the pandemic affected baby names trends, at all? Nature-inspired names seem to be having a moment!
The “new earth” trend is booming names like Forest, Avani & Wilde inspired by our desire to go back to basicsSJ Strum
Yes, the “new earth” trend is booming names like Forest, Avani & Wilde inspired by our desire to go back to basics, embrace nature and enjoy the freedom & calm associated with the great outdoors that was cut off for so many of us during lockdown. Also “nowstalgia” a shift in mindset during the pandemic to make the most of what we have now in the moment sees parents picking more living relatives and friends names; so we’re hearing John, Richard and Jane on name lists – often with the ask of “upcycling” them; maybe Johan, Richie and Layne will be hugging their beloved grandparents soon.
A lot of parents struggle with finding a name to complement a surname or a sibling name, have you got any dos and don’ts in that department?
Finding a complementary name is my favourite bit! I’ll listen to the sounds and match the emphasis like Tabitha might have a brother Bertie using the B and T sounds. Or meanings for siblings, for Travis meaning ‘bridge over water’ I recently recommended Nixie meaning ‘water sprite’ to the parents: the V & X make cool siblings as well as the linked meaning. Also syllables, we have a lot of blended surnames now that don’t always go together! Gingerich-Donna was a memorable one on the podcast! It makes balancing a first name hard so one-syllable names are on the rise (give them a chance of spelling the full name correctly!) but they don’t need to be boring; I love Sage, Nell, Mack and Blythe. Gingerich-Donna also wanted a whole new family name suggestion so I recommended Dorich – it’s so exciting to be part of their whole new family tree.
How important is it to consider how initials work together, should contemporary uses in the digital age be something to consider when naming little ones?
We thankfully don’t hear many tales of modern bullying due to names, but lots and lots of parents come to me with initials to avoid as they were BJ or HOE and it haunted them. You should 100% consider it and sometimes we even find people embracing it; one family we heard from all have initials of a theme like CAT and ART. Also, consider your sibling names – you don’t want a necklace with initials of your children Vida & Dylan.
How do you feel about non-traditional spellings – Elle rather than Ellie for example – is it making life harder for your child?
I polled teachers for a fun video on my YouTube channel that turned out to be so popular as it uncovered a lot of mistakes with the number one pet peeve being non-traditional spellings. SJ Strum
I polled teachers for a fun video on my YouTube channel that turned out to be so popular as it uncovered a lot of mistakes with the number one pet peeve being non-traditional spellings. It doesn’t achieve the object of making it a more unique name sadly; teachers say to go for a less traditional name spelt correctly like Winter they are happy with but Emma-Leigh or Jaxsyn was constantly being corrected. I personally love the look of eigh at the end of names but have seen a new trend online for things being called Tackeigh after this unique name trend!!! I’d suggest sticking to the traditional but looking outside the top 50.
Does every baby name have to have a significant meaning, or is it enough to like a name simply because you like how it sounds?
Go with what you love the sound of as you’ll always love it. A meaning can help people going from liking to loving a name; or as a tie-breaker. I loved the name Finn because it meant “little blonde soldier” in Sweden which tipped it to the top for me but I already loved it. Some names have negative meanings; this comes from when having a forename was very rare & words were given due to a characteristic; so Calvin means bald head and the lovely name Mallory means unhappy taken from the French Malheure a nickname for an unlucky, miserable person. So if that would put you off; do a quick check!
Would you recommend using celebrity baby names or will they date pretty quickly?
I absolutely love celebrity names. Harper has boomed after the Beckhams used it and Louis has had a big uplift since Kate & William cleared up confusion of how it was pronounced – the silent S had confused some parents to be! That being said rare names being picked up by a celebrity can have the opposite effect as it’s no longer “hipster enough for the hipsters” so Bear became less cool once Cheryl Cole used it, people were gutted that trendy August got snapped up by traditional Princess. I look to the celebs as the runway of trends then suggest adapting it to your style. True Kardashian made modern virtue names boom and James Reynolds daughter of Blake lively and Ryan Reynolds rocketed the boy name as girl name trend.
We’re all influenced by trends and baby names are no different. Do you have any top tips for knowing if you really like a popular name or if the current baby name trends are swaying your decision?
While you’re falling for Daphne after miss Bridgerton it’s good to remember lots of other people are too!SJ Strum
We all love to Netflix & Name! While you’re falling for Daphne after miss Bridgerton it’s good to remember lots of other people are too and a name can become “fast fashion” which is a trend we’re seeing more than ever. It might be the character Connel you’ve fallen for in Normal People and when the show ends, your baby name might not really be “you”. So keep going back to your original list but trends are fantastic for discovering new names that feel really special to your birth. Especially names like Iris, goddess of the rainbow, which was used to celebrate the NHS throughout the pandemic and is having its moment. It’s nice to ground yourself in history
Your top 3 baby envy names you’d want to pinch for yourself?
At the moment Jericho (city of the moon for boy or girl) Alma (meaning soul is so vintage and stunning) and I recently heard the name Hamlin meaning “little home lover” which is a gentle boy name but the meaning is so perfect for a lockdown baby.
Do you need to consider how aesthetically pleasing a name is when written and how easy it is to spell?
Oh yes!! It needs to be perfect on paper! I’m very aesthetic with names and names even have fonts and pictures in my mind’s eye. If you don’t want to give away your name but want to check it – pop to Starbucks and see how the barista writes and spells your baby name. It’s a good litmus test of how it fares in the real world.
Finding one name is hard enough finding twin or triplet names… send help. Would you recommend sticking to a theme for all babies, sticking to alliteration or going off-piste and just going with whatever you like?
I always gravitate towards individual names but the tough bit is making them equally special. Emily may not pair with Phoenix but Emily and Amelia could feel less of their own identity. I love a theme link that’s special but not obvious like friendship; Winnie, Auden and Dakota all mean friend which is a lovely symbol for siblings.
Is it wise to keep baby names a secret, even from family and close friends, to avoid influencing your decision?
Friends, colleagues and even family members asking your name then shamelessly announcing it. Keep it close or risk losing it!SJ Strum
I’m a total name secret squirrel while my podcast Baby Name Envy cohost my sister Naomi wanted lots of input and was glad to get it! People all have strong associations and therefore opinions on Names and we get so many dilemmas where parents are devastated by a negative reaction – one mother in law got a dog and named it Beau to show her pregnant daughter who planned to use it that it was in fact “a name only for a dog”! Then there are the baby name stealers!!! This is off the scale and the number one dilemma we get at Baby Name Envy the podcast. Friends, colleagues and even family members asking your name then shamelessly announcing it. Keep it close or risk losing it!
How many names do you think every expectant parent needs to have on their shortlist?
I’d aim to go into labour with a top 3-5 maximum. We hope they will look like a name or something will seem right – it did for me which was amazing; Freddie was going to be called Oskar but when I held him I called him Freddie out loud for no reason – and that was it!! But sometimes with babe in arms and so many things to take in and absorb; indecision sets in so I would encourage parents to shortlist before and pick quick. I also find throwing in a brave name right after labour means zero chance of a veto – ha ha – Blossom was agreed after a back to back natural labour on gas and air. I could have thrown anything at her dad then!
Any advice for partners who can’t agree on a baby name they both like?
Write to us! We do daily name ideas on Baby Name Envy the Instagram or personalised name lists on the podcast. Also, you can write a top ten list each, swap lists and tick your top two on each other’s lists…it brings about compromise which we all need to do as parents!
What do you think will be the next big trend for baby names?
Sanskrit Names are popular due to our love of yoga and soul searching during the pandemic, Bodhi is the poster name for this trend and Fierce Animal names; we’re seeing Falcon, Lynx and Griffin take over from Wren & Fox. We want our little ones to take on the world with a kind spirit but who won’t let anyone get in their way!
If you love positive affirmations and inspiring sayings to help your mental health on Instagram, then you probably follow Stacie Swift! Find out how she got started...
First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?
I am good, thank you! I think busy is the best word to describe my state of mind and year so far!
I have three young children so there has been lots of juggling through the changing restrictions this year. Work-wise I’m lucky to have been working on some really fab projects and loads of really fun promotion and products for my soon-to-be-published second book, The Positively Awesome Journal.
Can you tell us about the work you do as an illustrator?
I create bright, positive, colourful designs often with a self-care or mental well-being theme. My illustrations serve as a reminder that we are never alone in our struggles – drawing is a really cathartic process for me and illustrating my thoughts and feelings allows me space to work through my ups and downs.
What steps did you take in your education and career to get you where you are today?
Initially I wanted to be a lingerie designer so after my A Levels I went on to study for an Art Foundation at London College of Fashion… and then I didn’t get a place on the degree course I’d hoped to join and so I took some time out. While I was working in non-creative jobs (but always finding time for drawing!) I fell in love with the idea of illustration. I enrolled on an Illustration short course at Central St Martins and used the projects to build up my portfolio and then successfully applied to study BA Illustration at Middlesex Uni. It wasn’t the most straightforward route but the journey was invaluable!
What inspired you to start your Instagram account and was it always illustrations?
When I first started using Instagram I was running a much more product-based business, selling greeting cards and prints online and wholesaling to retailers. I used my account to promote my products but also shared a lot of photos of my cats! I already knew a lot of other creative small business owners so it was a brilliant way to stay connected and inspired with the creative community – I’m glad that aspect of IG hasn’t changed for me.
A lot of your infamous IG quotes revolve around mental health, why do you think social media is such a great outlet for this content?
I think the accessibility of social media makes it a great resource for conversations around mental health and wellness. I also think feel-good and thought provoking content can be a great antidote to some of the less inspiring and comparison-inducing posts we see in our feeds.
There’s also something really reassuring about people you are familiar with online discussing topics that can be hard to navigate in real life – so it’s a great way to normalise and de-stigmatise mental health. It makes me so happy that the posts I share are able to offer people validation and comfort.
What has been your biggest ‘pinch me’ moment during your career?
I think the first time I held my books – and then seeing them in actual bookshops – was so surreal. Such dream come true moments!
Can you tell us about your book “You are Positively Awesome” and the journal that sits alongside it?
Of course!
My first book You Are Positively Awesome published in July 2020, at the height of the pandemic – that was a steep learning curve! The book is very much an extension of my Instagram posts; I wanted it to be as bright and colourful as my feed but with prompts and reminders that make it a really useful self-care resource that you can keep going back to through all of life’s ups and downs. It has chapters covering everything from self-love to saying ‘no’, imposter syndrome and the importance of kindness.
My next book, The Positively Awesome Journal, is publishing in a few weeks (July 8th 2021). It is just as bold and rainbow-filled but is super interactive and full of activities, inspiration and self-care prompts. It’s a book that will help you work through your own experiences and support your well-being – it has lots of space for writing, drawing and reflection so you can really make it your own.
What are you currently working on?
I’ve been working on some fun freelance projects, including a collaboration with Great Ormond Street Hospital Arts that I’m super excited about. And then the plan is to finalise some ideas for my next book(s)!
Who are some of your current favourite follows?
@simplepolitics have been my go-to for making sense of the news this year
@nina_tame is fun, stylish and shares so many informative posts
@munyachawawa – his reels are genius (and hilarious)
@mollyjforbes her body-positive anti-diet culture messages are always spot on
What does your perfect weekend look like?
In a dream world, it’d involve lie-ins, brunch and a market or exhibition.
In reality, I have three children (my eldest is only 6) so a weekend that includes pancakes, a trip to the park, an afternoon film and plenty of hot coffee would be fab!
What do you always carry with you?
My phone and a Diet Pepsi – I’m probably a little bit more addicted to both than I’d care to admit.
What would your last ever meal be?
I am so indecisive when it comes to choosing what to eat! It’d probably have to be Macaroni Cheese or my mum’s roast dinner, followed by lots of mini desserts – I’ve got a really sweet tooth.
What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?
Make time to prioritise your mental health. Nothing is more important that your well-being.
What To Read This Summer – The Ultimate Books To Throw In Your Beach Bag
From new publications to perennial feel-good fiction, these beach-side companions will punctuate your ocean dips and sunbathing sessions rather nicely.
Picture this. Your out of office is on (aggressively on. You may as well have written please hesitate to reach out to me), you’ve got a few days off and the forecast is a full house of fat yellow suns, so you decide to take yourself off down the beach to read your book. Instant mental health boner, right?
The gentle lapping of the waves, the sand in between your toes, the vitamin D, the uninterrupted sunshine and plot twists, the obligatory Calippo vs Magnum vs overpriced Mr Whippy conundrum. Gah, there is no escapism so pure, so ingeniously simple as unfurling a new buzzy book whilst lounging by the seaside like a sun-kissed siren on the rocks.
There is no escapism so pure, so ingeniously simple as unfurling a new buzzy book whilst lounging by the seaside
As for the reading material, anything goes when it comes to easy breezy beach reads but there are certain balmy novels we gravitate towards at this time of year. Light-hearted (for the most part), unputdownable, fast-paced thrillers, true-to-life memoirs and juicy contemporary romances – those are the kind of stories we are all too glad to share with our SPF 50.
From new publications to perennial feel-good fiction, these beach-side companions will punctuate your ocean dips and sunbathing sessions rather nicely.
The Summer Job – Lizzy Dent
Want to escape real life for a while? Run away with Birdy Finch, a messy heroine who blagged her best friend’s identity to land her dream job. A hot new voice in contemporary fiction, Lizzy Dent’s heartwarming debut will have you honking with laughter. Fans of Fleabag, Bridget Jones and Bridesmaids will gobble up this highland (mis)adventure in no time at all. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Ruthless Women – Melanie Blake
Glitz, glamour, drama, humour and suspense, Melanie Blake’s Ruthless Women has it all in spades. Hailed the hottest book of 2021, it’s sure to be the addictive page-turner you need in your life after a long and horny lockdown. If you like your beach reads on the raunchy side, dive headfirst into this bonkbuster. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
You Have A Match – Emma Lord
A modern take on the Parent Trap trope, You Have A Match follows the story of Abby Day, who discovers she has a secret Instagram influencer sister. The pair hatch a plan to meet up at a summer camp to get to know each other and unravel this big juicy family secret. If you’re hankering for some feel-good fiction, this coming-of-age story will make for the perfect deckchair sidekick. Purchase here.
The Road Trip – Beth O’Leary
From the queen of beach bag reads herself, Beth O’Leary’s latest novel is the bookish summer staple you can’t miss. With echoes of Normal People, you’ll have no problem inhaling it in one sunny sitting. Just make sure you’ve secured a spot close to the sea to cool off after the sexy south of France scenes dabs forehead. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Open Water – Caleb Azumah Nelson
A tender and ambitious debut novel about the relationship between two young black artists. At once an intimate love song to black artistry and a powerful exploration of race, masculinity, loss and trauma, Open Water is dripping with an elegant rhythm all of its own. If you loved Normal People, you’ll adore this delicately crafted masterpiece about love and all its nuances. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Seven Days in June – Tia Williams
If you like your romances on the raw and gritty side, send your heartfelt thanks to Tia Williams. In Seven Days in June, we’re introduced to two writers who reunite at a literary event 15 years after they shared a whirlwind romance, only they’re pretending they don’t know each other. Cue the undeniable sexual tension. Not only is SDIJ sexy as hell, Williams’ writing manages to shift effortlessly between light-hearted interactions and sensitive subject matter with effortless tact. A sappy and predictable romance this is not. Its deliciously witty dialogue, fully realised characters and deft handling of love, race and second-chances will stay with you long after summer. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Miss Benson’s Beetle – Rachel Joyce
Margery Benson, a socially awkward forty-something teacher, and Enid Pretty, a yellow-haired bombshell in a hot pink suit, form an unlikely duo in this intoxicating tale of female friendship, rebellion and self-discovery. The two women leave 1950s Britain on an expedition to New Caledonia to find the elusive golden beetle Margery’s father taught her about in her childhood. Enid Pretty is everything Margery hates and the last person she’d want assisting her on this once-in-a-lifetime adventure but as the two share the setbacks and successes of this hilarious jaunt, it turns out they make quite the team. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
The House on Fripp Island – Rebecca Kauffman
Slap on a fresh layer of SPF and have your cocktail of choice within reach because once you start reading this, you’re not moving until you finish it. For 336 glorious pages, Kauffman treats us to a family saga of epic proportions. This is the ultimate tell-a-friend book you’ll be waxing lyrical about all summer long. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Malibu Rising – Taylor Jenkins Reid
From the best-selling author of Daisy Jones & The Six and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo comes Malibu Rising – a juicy riptide of a book about four famous siblings and their epic annual end of summer house party. What could possibly go wrong? By midnight the party will descend into drug-fuelled chaos, by morning, the family mansion will be engulfed in flames. A fast-paced, unputdownable family drama, destined to be read with a beachy backdrop. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Beach Read – Emily Henry
One look at the cover and you’d have every reason to believe this is a fun and flirty summer read with absolutely zero chance of making you weep into your Mr Whippy. Is there another name for that? Yes: wildly led astray in the best possible way and texting your friends at 1am with a message that simply reads: “I will never read again. F*cking sobbing”, just about covers it. It’s not A Little Life howling bad but it’s raw and it’s honest and the lump in your throat will have to come out somehow.
Two authors, who also happen to be frenemies and beach house neighbours, are struggling with writer’s block. January is a happy-ever-after romance author, Gus is a serious literary fiction author. So, they decide to take on the challenge of writing their respective genres to see who gets published first which requires hanging out (a lot) and learning to be vulnerable with one another. With whip-smart dialogue, unforgettable main characters and all the tongue-in-cheek hilarity, it has everything the title promises and more. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Girl A – Abigail Dean
TW: child abuse, childhood trauma
A gripping psychological thriller and a searing portrait of survival, Girl A is a haunting pitch black novel, punctuated with moments of life-affirming humanity. It tells the story of an eight-year-old girl named Lex, one of eight Gracie siblings, who escaped from her parents’ House of Horrors after years of abuse. When her mother dies in prison, naming Lex as the executor of the will, she must contact her surviving siblings and work out what to do with the house they in which they all suffered. Lex’s resilience in the face of such harrowing devastation will stay with you for a lifetime. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Animal – Lisa Taddeo
The debut novel from the author of the bestselling phenomenon Three Women is written with the same signature intensity and truth. The stories that Taddeo couldn’t tell in Three Women find a place here in this cleverly constructed thriller, albeit through a fictive filter. Sure, lend to a friend to discuss in-between mouthfuls of chips and glugs of house white but ask for it back. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
That Summer – Jennifer Weiner
A novel about the transformative power of female friendship? We’re in there like swimwear. From the boss of beach reads, Jessica Weiner, That Summer is a story about surviving our pasts, confronting our futures and the sustaining bonds of friendship. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Threadneedle – Cari Thomas
Anna’s Aunt has always warned her of the dangers of magic. Its twists. Its knots. Its deadly consequences. Now Anna counts down the days to the ceremony that will bind her magic forever. Until she meets Effie and Attis. They open her eyes to a London she never knew existed. A shop that sells memories. A secret library where the librarian feeds off words. A club where revellers lose themselves in a haze of spells. But as she is swept deeper into this world, Anna begins to wonder if her Aunt was right all along. Is her magic a gift … or a curse? Thread Needle is the perfect YA fantasy for anyone hankering for a summer of magic. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
The Other Black Girl – Zakiya Dalila Harris
Twenty-six-year-old editorial assistant Nella is tired – tired of being the only black employee at Wagner Books, tired of the micro-aggressions and tired of the marginalisation. So, when newcomer Hazel joins the company, Nella is thrilled to have another black woman on the team until she becomes the rising star and undermines her role. Then the menacing notes start appearing on Nella’s desk advising her to leave her job unless she wants bad things to happen…
From jumpsuits to dresses and shorts to crop tops, Terry toweling is a surprisingly versatile material that thanks to brands like Jaded and Skims have taken over our Insta feeds and bridged the gap between comfort and cool.
New summer trend alert! If you were still feeling a little sceptical about leaving loungewear and the comfort of elasticated waistbands behind, never fear, Terry towelling is here to save the day. Praise be! This comfy yet chic trend is everything you need on a day when you really cba but still want to look somewhat put together, and can be both dressed up and dressed down to suit your every post lockdown need.
From jumpsuits to dresses and shorts to crop tops, Terry toweling is a surprisingly versatile material that thanks to brands like Jaded and Skims have taken over our Insta feeds and bridged the gap between comfort and cool. Whether it’s to throw on after a dip in the sea or with a high pony for bottomless brunch, all things Terry towelling heaven won’t be one you regret adding to basket.
Zoe
Okay, I flipping love this trend! I actually already own a Terry towelling co-ord that I ordered a few years ago so managed to find a great dupe on ASOS! It’s comfortable to wear, not as thick or warm as you might think. Would wear this with chunky trainers, some sunnies and then also found this tote which could be overkill with the outfit, but a nice little nod with something else.
I love the plush terry cloth fabric, especially for carefree summer days down the beach or by the pool. In fact, I just snapped up this blue terry cloth playsuit from Mango and have worn it to death ever since. It’s so easy to throw on with trainers or sandals, a tote bag and sunnies and head out for the day.
I love the look of these rompers for summer, unsure on whether I’ll look like a giant baby but I’m sure id still rock it in my garden. I’d love to pop this on for a beach day or down to my local lido with a swimming cosi, sandals, classic beach tote and of course a chunky gold necklace.
I love this trend, especially for unpredictable British Weather. This Co-ord would be perfect for a long day at the beach. Chuck the shorts on when you’ve just been for a dip and want to cover up a bit more. Then as it gets into the evening, perhaps having a cheeky BBQ, chuck on the jumper. Paired with some sexy, comfortable, practical crocs and you’re all set for a day at the seaside.
I honestly couldn’t possibly love this trend more! I have a pair of Terry towelling shorts from a Warehouse X Shrimps collab a couple of years ago and they’ve truly been one of my most ever worn summer items so I’m absolutely on board with adding more of this texture to my wardrobe. I’ve gone for a warm colour palette that makes me think of holidays and some little sandals I think are perfect for a day out shopping or brunch with the girls. No look is complete without a tote bag IMO and I love this one from ASOS so much!
I love this trend so much! Towelling is so versatile, it’s great for the beach too and looks super cute. I’ve styled two outfits with the same accessories because I loved both so much. This lilac playsuit is so cool and paired with white trainers is such a laid back look. Also obsessed with these yellow towelling shorts from Collusion paired with this floral bralet from Monki!
As well as providing truly endless entertainment, the explosion in popularity of the app since lockdown first began has seen it take centre stage as the place to find all things new, innovative, novel and one of a kind when it comes to hacks and new products and brands.
There are endless reasons to love a daily (read: hourly) scroll on TikTok, from the animal videos that make you teary to the trending dances that seem easy but couldn’t be further from the truth, it’s a hub of feel-good (take that with a pinch of salt as with any social media platform) and many of us would have felt a whole lot more isolated throughout 2020 without it.
Small business TikTok has seen new brands go from zero to hero quicker than Hercules himself.
As well as providing truly endless entertainment, the explosion in popularity of the app since lockdown first began has seen it take centre stage as the place to find all things new, innovative, novel and one of a kind when it comes to hacks and new products and brands. Small business TikTok is one such facet of the app that has seen new brands go from zero to hero quicker than Hercules himself, with the humble For You Page helping give exposure and love to Gen Z businesses taking the world by storm.
Keep reading for the lowdown on the small business beauties worth adding to your saved folder …
Founded by London style blogger Jodie Marriott-Baker, Carb Club is the ultimate gift for a foodie friend or pasta lover that wants to add a little bit of spice to their kitchenware. Carb Club’s collection of colourful bowls took Tiktok by storm earlier this year, with the initial launch selling out in just 17 minutes! These coveted carb lovers dream designs are hand-painted in London, and have the option to be personalised too if you’re lucky enough to secure an order. With mugs potentially joining the lineup of products for the next drop too, we see big and bright things for Carb Club’s future.
If amassing 52 million likes (yes you read that correctly) wasn’t enough, perhaps their features in Forbes and Buzzfeed, in combination with their highly sought after designs are enough to cement DBL Jewelry as a key player in the affordable jewellery market is. At just aged 19, Liv Portillo (founder of the brand) says “free, organic social media marketing on Instagram and TikTok at the height of the pandemic helped catapult her sales”. Give them a follow for peak hot girl summer accessories.
With almost half a million followers on TikTok, the name Brownie God really does speak for itself as to why the business has catapulted to success with their indulgent, personalised and unique brownie designs. The business started from humble beginnings, selling handmade brownies at a market stall in St. Pauls, London which now seems a far cry from their international following of thousands and engaged community who just freaking love brownies!
Maximalist interior lovers, this one’s for you! Selling funky prints, stickers, homeware and stationery, Prints by GG encapsulates everything bold, bright and beautiful about shopping small and the individuality of products that can be found on TIkTok. The brand is a one-woman show founded by Georgia who lost her job during the pandemic and turned to her love of art and design to see her through. Her mantra trinket dishes are true hot girl bedside table vibes, and with over 1 million TikTok likes in total, it’s not hard to see why the brand has gained such huge popularity.
Lucy discovered a gap in the market when she was on her way to meet her bestie post lockdown 1.0 for a vino in the sun! By the time she got there, her wine was warm and she couldn’t find a product available that kept her 750 ml beverages chilled that also looked great, and so Partner in Wine was born. As well as bottles you can also pick up tumblers in an array of amazing colours as well as their latest launch – a 550ml insulated cup with a straw, perfect for your iced coffee. The Partner in Wine TikTok account is great for seeing BTS content and the product in use, but you can also see loads of great wine recommendations and of course hilarious vids.
Our love for handmade, small scale bespoke fashion is no secret and Sherbet Lemons have nailed much sought after trendy styles but with sustainable roots- what’s not to love?! With everything from hot pants, to halter necks and scrunchies to cycling shorts, it’s a one stop shop for outfits that really do the talking. In need of a Pride look? Sherbet Lemons have got your back.
Founded by 26-year-old Liverpudlian Allie Davies, Allie Josie Studio makes handmade home accessories for a “groovy, happy home”. Punch needling is the name of the game here, offering adorably retro wall art and coasters that draw on 70s influences and feel-good quotes. Perfect for a pal moving home or to brighten up a sparse looking shelf or wall.
A true one of a kind product that only TikTok could blow up, the Contour Cube is designed to “contour and sculpt your face, tighten pores, de-puff eye bags and add radiance to your skin”. Created, patented and produced in Australia, the Contour Cube is a unique and intriguing innovation that has us questioning if we’ve been doing skincare wrong all this time.
Currently sold out due to their popularity Alexander Row handbags are beautifully crafted by Rowanne. Structured bags with silver hardware, these beauties go with every outfit. Rowanne packages them up herself with a branded dust bag and a gorgeous navy luxury box. The first collection is now sold out but you can find sneak peeks of what’s to come in the second as well as outfit ideas and satisfying packing videos on TikTok.
Mama Claudia was started by, well, a mum called Claudia who wanted to provide other parents with good quality baby essentials at a great value. Her pastel silicone weaning selection is both adorable and genius so we know exactly where to go when our babies are done with the bottle. All run from her hometown of Portadown in Northern Ireland Claudia’s TikTok is packed full of product demos, packaging videos and brilliant baby content.
Between You and Me: Your Problems Answered Part 17
From losing your virginity and being more accessible to finding out your boyfriends OnlyFans bill, we're back with our big sister advice.
This month we asked for your summer-loving woes and you didn’t disappoint with some good old juicy stories. From losing your virginity and being more accessible to finding out your boyfriends OnlyFans bill, we’re back with our big sister advice that absolutely should be taken with a grain of salt because hey, we’re not trained therapists, just a bunch of women who want to listen and help.
Charlotte
Hi anon! First things first, it sounds like you have a fair bit of dating experience which I think is really positive when looking for ‘the one’ or a long term partner because you truly know what you’re seeking from a romantic relationship, so you have a great foundation there already! However, because you have this experience it also might feel like you inherently ‘know’ what’s out there, what to expect from guys and have written yourself a version of the future which hasn’t even happened yet. You didn’t mention how you’re meeting your dates but if it’s via dating apps then I think the issue of age is one that can be quite easily resolved by adjusting your preferences and only agreeing to meet men of a similar age. Alternatively, do you have any friends in relationships who’s boyfriends might have single friends that could work as potential dates? Working with your existing pool of contacts in the city might mean you’re more likely to find someone at the same stage in life as you and could reduce the chance of any more non starters ruled out because of age.
I know that where you live can absolutely have an impact on your dating life, as for example I’m fully aware that if I were to date in my family home town the options would be severely limited, but I guess I’m wondering if you feel it would make enough of a difference to consider uprooting your life entirely? If you’re itching for a change in general (it sounds like this could be the case as you mentioned coming to the UK which really would be a dramatic change in the course of your future) then I don’t think moving is a terrible idea, I’d just be sceptical of doing so purely on the basis of dating. If you think it would enhance your life in other ways too (work, friends, life experiences) then I think it’s absolutely worth a shot, but don’t turn your world on its head purely on the basis of finding a partner- I’m a firm believer that the universe times everything as it’s meant to be and maybe things are in the works that you just don’t know of yet.
Keep positive, hopeful and most importantly confident in yourself and be safe in the knowledge that things WILL work out. Don’t lose hope and don’t rule things out just because it feels like you know better- sometimes the universe works in mysterious ways.
Danielle
Hello, anon!
Thanks for writing in, especially from across the pond! I’m glad you included the information about where you’re from in your question as I think it’s the most important bit. To decide that there are no suitable romantic prospects in an entire state that you’re about to move to sounds like a huge generalisation but I’m sure you already know that. It seems like you’re worrying about it and writing it off before you’ve even got there which isn’t the best state of mind to be in. A lot of people will tell you the universe hands back the energy you’re giving it, and if you keep thinking there are no potential partners for you I don’t think one will magically come along. I think the most important thing is to move somewhere that makes you happy, forget about relationships and finding a partner and just focus on where you feel comfortable and inspired, where you can make friends that you have fun with, your vibe attracts your tribe and all that! I know New York is a lot more modern and fast-paced than Utah/Salt Lake City so maybe now is the time to decide if you should get used to where you are or make the move for happiness somewhere else?
Either way, don’t write off every prospect you never know what’s around the corner!
Holly
Hello my love,
Thanks for sending in your question, I can imagine that’s tough to open up about. Firstly, I don’t think fancying older men is odd (I mean it depends how old we’re talking) but each to their own. There is definitely some people more than double my age that I would like to go on a date with or more…
There is also absolutely nothing wrong with not having done more than kiss before. I have friends that are almost 30 and have never even kissed somebody. They just haven’t found the right person they want to be intimate with, the important thing is to wait until it’s right for you. There is no right or wrong time.
To answer – how to tell them, I genuinely don’t think it needs to be a big deal. Just meet up with someone with the intention of having fun, if it comes up in conversation naturally then mention it. Then if it comes to the point where you’ve found someone you want to sleep with, hopefully, you feel comfortable enough to share your past. I do think it’s important to be honest beforehand just so whoever you’re with knows to be gentle, but it’s also not something you have to share with just anyone.
Generally speaking, any decent human being wouldn’t judge you for being a virgin. In my experience, boys under 30 tend to be not that emotionally mature so I think they would probably be a bit weirder about it. Older people understand that everyone’s life experience is different, and that’s OK!
The main thing is don’t pressure yourself either way. You like who you like. And for the right person, how experienced you are won’t matter.
Sending you lots of positivity and luck, go get ’em!
Holly xx
Darcey
Hey anon! Firstly, absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at 21, we all do things at different points in our life, I have friends who are the same age as me (23) who haven’t had sex yet and that is okay. I said this in another answer, but virginity means different things for different people and there shouldn’t be this societal pressure to lose it. Losing your virginity can be nerve-wracking, but honestly, there isn’t anything to be nervous about, those nerves will go when you know it’s the right moment for it to happen. I think the build-up if anything brings on the nerves, the “when will it happen” jitters.
Secondly dating older men also is fine if the relationship is consensual and you are both happy within that relationship. Obviously, you are 21, an adult, you can make decisions for yourself, but I’d be interested to know why you like older men. As I think if it’s a case of seeing them as more mature, that is not always the reality. I’ve dated guys who are the same age as me who have been super respectful and mature, I’ve dated guys who are like 7-8 years older than me, who have not been respectful with their actions and behaved childishly if I’m honest. I just wanted to put this out there in case you were kind of in the mindset of the older the more mature, as some people never grow up ha! But absolutely I see nothing wrong with dating older men, we all find different people attractive.
When it comes to dating older men and being a virgin, I honestly don’t think that matters at all. Mature men won’t care that you are a virgin or see it as an issue, if they ask you then you can tell them if you feel comfortable in doing so, if they act weird about it, see ya later! There’s no wrong or right answer to when you lose it, or who you lose it to. As long as you feel happy and comfortable with your decision, that is all that matters. Best of luck with everything! Xx
Danielle
Hello love,
Thank you so much for writing in, especially about a subject that could be affecting a lot of relationships these days! Firstly let me say you are absolutely enough, and no one – especially your partner – should make you feel like that.
Secondly, if I was in your situation I have to say I’d be absolutely fuming. I think if I knew if/how much my partner spent on OnlyFans I’d have to just deal with those uncomfortable feelings because essentially there’s nothing wrong with your partner consuming pornographic content especially when it means sex workers are getting paid. You have to trust that your partner is consuming the content responsibly and obviously it crosses a line if they’re messaging someone one on one.
However, in your case, I think subscribing to someone you both know is really inappropriate, it’s no longer a stranger on the internet, the line is crossed. The part of your story I find most upsetting is that when you confronted him he tried to minimize it, act like it wasn’t a big deal and after you told him it was, he ‘didn’t understand’ why it would make you feel shit.
I think if the shoe was on the other foot and you were soliciting dick pics from one of his old school mates he’d have an issue! The fact that you were also lending him money during this time makes my blood boil. Make sure you’re only ever lending and never straight up giving a boyfriend money. If he’s stopped and you’ve both agreed to move past it then that’s what you need to do. Maybe you just need to have one more conversation about why you found it so upsetting and also get a sincere apology from him? I’ll finish by saying this is a bit of a red flag, maybe not breakup worthy but don’t forget it in a hurry and stay alert for any other bad behaviour that makes you feel less than. Hope you feel better lovely! xxx
Darcey
There’s a lot to unpack here! Firstly, I want to say that I don’t blame you for feeling hurt still, it’s a really shitty thing for your boyfriend to have done. I wouldn’t mind my boyfriend using OnlyFans, because I see it as a more ethical platform then say PornHub, sex workers get paid and it’s a safe environment for them. However, there’s a line and there sure as hell is boundaries to who you subscribe to on OnlyFans. People you went to school with and who was a close friend of yours? Firm no, absolutely overstepping the boundaries. Not only does this make you uncomfortable, I bet it made the other women uncomfortable too, especially because he paid for extra photos.
Being curious too just seems like a strange thing to say, so basically, you’ve always wanted to see these women naked, so you took the first chance you got? Like there’s a difference between using OnlyFans for sexual pleasure and using it to see women you went to school with naked you know? I’d also be surprised if he didn’t realise the £100 leaving his account like if he’s strapped for cash, £100 is a LOT to just leave your account unnoticed. I think the issue is, he has deleted the app, which is good of him to have done, to me it seems he realised he messed up and has made it right. However, you are still hurt and that’s an issue as this feeling will fester. I want you to know straight up, this has nothing to do with you or how attractive he finds you; you are always enough. But if you are with someone who makes you feel as if you aren’t enough, that’s an issue.
The problem is if you have said you have forgiven him, then rehashing it might cause more issues because he will probably be thinking “well I thought we resolved this, why is this coming up again?”. I think you either must decide to let it go and move past it, or if you can’t move past it, think about if this relationship can move forward with you holding this grudge. I think in the future if you face any other issues that really hurt you, be super vocal and let him know how much he has upset you, honesty is always the best to try and move on.
You are always enough and if he doesn’t see it, well his bloody loss! Sending you lots of love and best of luck with everything in the future Xx
Charlotte
Hello anon! Thank you for writing in on such a vulnerable subject which I would disagree with you on and say is not weird at all- it’s something so, so many people will relate to and will have worried about previously so you’re absolutely not alone in this feeling.
I think it’s really natural to only want your first sexual experiences to be with someone you connect with, but as Darcey says I don’t think this necessarily has to mean relationship status. It might be that you date someone for a few weeks, get along with them really well and it naturally leads to something more intimate together. You might not be able to imagine that you could feel this way with someone fairly soon into meeting them but I’d say don’t rule out the possibility that this is how things might unfold for you. If however as you said you really do want your first time to be with someone that you end up being with afterwards, then the next natural step feels like putting yourself out there a bit and getting the wheels in motion for this to happen. Dating is a different experience for everyone, but I’d say downloading some apps and getting chatting to people is probably the easiest way to build a bit of confidence and get in the headspace for romance! You can take this at whatever pace you like, whether it be just seeing what’s out there for a while and having some casual chats, or diving in the deep end and arranging an IRL date straight away- I think you’ll know what feels most natural and right for you.
Ultimately I think this is something so many people experience and in the end, things tend to fall into place naturally, but I can definitely understand the sense of urgency and wanting to get the ball rolling- you and me both sister! Get yourself some cute date outfits in your repertoire, practice a killer make-up look you feel good in and most importantly feel confident and content in yourself as you start this process. It will be so fun and I can’t wait for you to hopefully update us at some point with the happy ending!
Enjoy hot girl summer!
Darcey
Hey anon! This is such a good question and I think something a lot of people will be pondering post lockdown. Whether you have sexual experience or not, it sometimes can be difficult to pinpoint if you are wanting something casual or serious. I think for you because this isn’t just about dating this is about your first sexual experiences, there’s more to consider. I think if you are saying from the offset, you don’t think you could have sex for the first time with someone and it be casual, take that feeling at face value.
I think if you are hoping for a deeper connection with someone to sleep with for the first time you should try and seek that. I know you said someone you are in a relationship with, but actually even it being with someone you know and trust can be just as fulfilling. Also, you don’t have to jump into sleeping with someone straight away, you can always casually date, do some bits and bobs here if you know what I mean haa, and if the right moment arises with the right person, then go for it! At the end of the day (in my personal opinion) virginity is a bit of a social construct which was created in order to keep women as something that can be ‘owned’, because virginity means so many different things to different people, it’s not just vagina and penis penetration. I think the pressure of losing your virginity can make the experience so intense that you end up not enjoying the experience or feeling regret after due to societal ‘norms’ of how it should happen and when.
I think get yourself out there on the dating scene, Hinge and Tinder fired up, start lining up some dates and see what happens? There really is no wrong or right answer to whether you should keep things casual or serious. I do think try and have somewhat of an idea going into it, as it’s good to be open about what you want early on. Even if that’s saying “I want to date and see what happens, but my end goal is a relationship” or “I am looking for something more casual but open to seeing what happens” as long as someone knows roughly what you are after, dating someone on the same page as you is waaaaay easier, saves all the “what is this, what are we” drama down the line. I think enjoy meeting new people and enjoy the moment! Hope you have the best Summer! Xx
Danielle
Heya love! Great question, I think ‘being accessible’ can mean a few things, but I think of it like the lottery “You’ve got to be in it to win it” which is to say if you want to meet someone at a bar and have an amazing conversation then you need to be at said bar. If you want to meet someone whilst you’re running out for coffee you need to be present and out there and not on your phone. So my best advice is just to say yes to life, go out with friends, get out the house, hit the gym or an exercise class, pick up a new hobby if there’s something you’ve been wanting to try! BUT, and here’s the hard part, try to completely forget about meeting a partner. Don’t do these things desperately searching for a man, they can smell it on you. The most attractive you can be is when you’re just living your life happily, I guarantee as soon as you stop thinking about trying to find a boyfriend they’ll all start to swarm. I WISH someone had given me this advice when I was younger as I remember being so consumed by boys instead of just enjoying the moments with my friends for what they were. The nights I was having the most fun were always the nights people asked for my number. I’ll stop rambling now, just get out there and focus on fun!
Holly
Hello lovely person,
Well, I guess there are 2 ways to look at the term ‘accessible’. You need to be physically out there, meeting people, going new places and confident in talking to new people. On the other, much scarier hand, you need to be emotionally ready to be in a relationship and willing to open up to somebody.
I’m by no means an expert, but from my experience, actually physically meeting people is the easy part. My top tips would be to put on an outfit that you feel confident in and go out with the intention of making new friends. Not everything has to be so serious looking at it like you’re going to find the love of your life. Making great new friends can be just as fulfilling as being in a relationship.
I think now is also the perfect time to put yourself out there and meet new people. Everyone is desperate to socialise after a year of not meeting anyone new. I know it’s scary but most people will be receptive. I know personally if someone came up to me wanting to be my friend I’d welcome them with open arms.
The much harder part is making sure you’re actually emotionally ready for a relationship. Letting someone in is HARD especially if you’ve not been in a relationship for a little while. I really think you have to be happy with yourself before getting into a relationship. It’s so easy to get carried away when you are dating someone that you forget what you really want in a partner. Work on yourself and make sure you’re in a good place, you should be content being alone. A partner should add to the happiness rather than be the basis for it.
I’m also a strong believer that if you’re desperate for a partner, you’ll end up settling which is never good. You deserve to be with the perfect person so don’t rush it.
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