Hot Weather Heroes for When It’s too Hot for Clothes
The Tesco fridges are ransacked of Pornstar Martini cans, your skin is constantly sticky with SPF and the faint 'it's coming home' chants can be heard far and wide from pubs up and down the country- yep, you guessed it, the heatwave is HERE!
The Tesco fridges are ransacked of Pornstar Martini cans, your skin is constantly sticky with SPF and the faint ‘it’s coming home’ chants can be heard far and wide from pubs up and down the country- yep, you guessed it, the heatwave is HERE! After possibly the longest winter of all time in which you’d be forgiven for entirely forgetting what a full dose of Vitamin D felt like, the sun is out and it feels bloomin’ fantastic. There’s nothing like a forecast of pure sunshine and good vibes to make you realise the U.K. ain’t half bad after all, and you best believe we’ll be soaking up every last bit of sunshine and pub garden Pimms we can get our paws on.
In these desperate times cotton, linen and easy breezy fabrics are your BFFs.
We know what you’re thinking- what could there possibly be to complain about in this sun soaked scenario? We hear you, and the answer: getting dressed. Everything is hot, so very hot, and if wearing nada was a possibility it would probably still be too warm. In these desperate times cotton, linen and easy breezy fabrics are your BFFs, along with white t-shirts you can be 200% sure your inevitable sweat marks aren’t showing through and smock dresses that essentially feel like a ginormous tent billowing in the wind. Dressing practically for these unusually pleasant conditions is the priority, but there’s also no time like a heatwave to rock a bold print you might normally shy away from or to expose a little extra skin (if you feel comfortable) to lap up the rays and add some colour to those limbs.
Add a bucket hat and your fave sunnies and you’re officially picnic/beach/beer garden/mini golf ready!
18 Of The UK’s Best Airbnbs & Boutique Stays To Add To Your Wishlist Immediately
Sure, we can’t wait for the day we can take off to the Med for a week at a moment’s notice but for now, these locations will cure the holiday hangover nicely.
With holidaying abroad up in the air and most of us feeling reluctant to make any kind of far-flung travel plans until the green list is officially popping, it looks like UK staycations are still the one.
For those hankering for a room with a sea view or a staycation beyond your trad hotel, we’re here to help you with your search. From cosy handmade cabins to quirky regal residences and bougie apartments for your girls’ weekend away, the UK has plenty of cool accommodation and unforgettable weekend breaks going for it.
Sure, we can’t wait for the day we can take off to the Med for a week at a moment’s notice but for now, these locations will cure the holiday hangover nicely.
Take a scroll to see what cosy cottagecore cabins, barns, gypsy wagons, treehouses and blissful escapes take your fancy – and join us in never underestimating the UK ‘holistay’ ever again.
Isle of Anglesey, Wales
Surrounded by hundreds of acres of estate farm and parkland, this rural bolthole is ideal for wildlife lovers, walkers, families, friends and adventure-seekers looking for a 10/10 peaceful outdoorsy getaway. Book it through Airbnb here!
Scottish Highlands
You know it’s a good spot if it’s been featured on The Crown. This impressive fully catered lodge is steeped in history and even played host to Queen Victoria back in the day. Overlooking the breathtaking Cairngorms National Park, it’s the perfect place to switch off and embrace the wild beauty of Mother Nature. Book it through Fish & Pips here.
Lymington, Hampshire
Tucked away in a secluded plot in the New Forest, you’ll be spoilt for choice for woodland walks and country pubs at this place. Boasting beautiful grounds, rustic interiors, shared tennis courts, a sleigh bed for a restful night’s kip and a charming terrace for you to enjoy breakfast al fresco or balmy sundowners, it’s the perfect post-lockdown escape. Ah, and breathe! Book it through Airbnb here.
Margate, Kent
With September availability still going strong, why not reserve this bohemian beauty for a weekend by the beautiful briny sea? Just a stone’s throw away from the Old Town and the beach and featuring thoughtful details such as a meditation corner and board games, the immaculate townhouse has everything you need for a relaxing British holiday. Book it through Airbnb here!
Machynlleth, Wales
If you’re after something a bit different, this handcrafted gypsy wagon will steal your heart. Think wood-fired showers, stunning mountain views, birdsong, a natural plunge pool and plenty of cosy reading nooks. A truly beautiful slice of Wales that lends itself wonderfully to a digital detox or a romantic couple’s hideaway. Book it through Airbnb here!
Chelmarsh, Shropshire
A rural retreat set in a peaceful barn conversion. Enjoy a daily doorstep delivery of fresh eggs, a charcoal bbq, homemade treats waiting for you on arrival and beautiful views of the Shropshire countryside. Hikers will be in their element here. Book it through Airbnb here!
Bathwick, Bath
A must-stay for any book lovers, this beautiful apartment was home to Jane Austen between 1801 and 1805 when she was writing her unfinished novella ‘The Watsons’. With rustic stone floors, original Georgian panelling, a Louis IV bed and shelves teeming with artwork and curious objects, the eclectic and thoughtful interiors have their very own story to tell. Just a 10 minute promenade down Great Pulteney Street into town, it’s ideal for anyone looking to explore the city on foot but equally great for those who’d sooner spend their whole stay curled up indoors with a good book. We’re sure the previous owner would absolutely stan. Book it through Airbnb here!
Scottish borders
After the year we’ve had, why on earth wouldn’t you want to make like Mary Queen of Scot’s and stay in her castle chamber, for crying out loud? On arrival, you’ll have a tour of Neidpath castle and then you’re free to explore every nook and cranny privately throughout your stay before retiring to your regal boudoir for a glass of wine by the open fire and nodding off in the antique four-poster bed.
Enjoy a relaxing soak in the roll top bath overlooking the spectacular River Tweed and tuck into a lip-smacking continental breakfast the next morning whilst deer-spotting from the bedroom window. And if you really want to dine like Kings and Queens, dinner can also be booked in advance. Whether you’re a history buff or simply hankering to stay in a fairy tale castle in Scotland, bucket list Airbnbs don’t get more magical than this. Book it through Airbnb here.
Blaenau Ffestiniog, Wales
Located in Snowdonia National Park and surrounded by waterfalls, mountains and woolly neighbours aplenty, this romantic 17th century Welsh longhouse would make for an unforgettable staycation. Book it through Airbnb here!
The Cotswolds
Get back to nature with this countryside bolthole, nestled in 400 rolling acres of countryside. From magical treehouses to hideaway huts complete with your very own paddle boat and private lake to float around on, The Fish is the ultimate rustic woodland retreat. You may have to wait patiently until next year to catch this Fish but it’ll be worth the wait. Book The Fish here.
Suffolk
Located on a 5000 acre country estate, this seriously bougie (and pet-friendly) barn conversion has been kitted out with all the luxuries you could ever need. Roam the remarkable Wilderness Reserve on two wheels on your very own Pashley bicycles stocked in each property, have a paddle on the lake and learn about the natural inhabitants with the ranger. This is the ultimate in countryside living. Book through Fish & Pips here.
Kent
Located in the former home of 50s piano legend Russ Conway, this Art Deco guesthouse by the sea ticks all the staycation boxes. Just a 15 minute saunter from Broadstairs town and three stunning Blue Flag Beaches pretty much on the doorstep, it’s well placed for exploring the coast, though the tropical garden with large patio area makes sunbathing with a cold one just as appealing. Book through Airbnb here.
Upper Wye Valley, Wales
Escape city life and recharge with Mother Nature at this cosy hillside hideaway surrounded by bird song, ducks and Shetland ponies. If babbling brooks, cosy log burners and valley views resonate with. Book it through Airbnb here!
Margate, Kent
A calming olde worlde home in the heart of Margate, flooded with natural light and lovingly restored. Situated in the picturesque Hawley Square, it’s within easy walking distance of the Old Town, the seafront, eateries and coffee shops. You’ll be very at home in this peaceful seaside sanctuary. Book it through Airbnb here!
Little Sodbury, Gloucestershire
Sandwiched between Bath and the Cotswolds and set in its own private woodland, camping and glamping doesn’t get much better than the Dome on Woodcock Farm. It’s the arboreal off-grid retreat everyone needs after a lifetime of lockdown. Book it through Airbnb here.
Aldeby, Norfolk
A quiet and secluded location on the southern edge of The Broads National Park with stunning views over the fields, perfect for spotting wildlife and watching the sunset. Leaving could be a problem. Book it through Airbnb here.
Ceredigion, Wales
Dolphin watching from your balcony, what’s not to love? We challenge you to find better sea views in the whole of New Quay. Book it through Airbnb here.
Somerset
Full of Georgian charm and set within 800 acres of sprawling woodland with a deer park, a working farm and beautiful manicured gardens for a backdrop, The Newt invites you to indulge in the slower pace of life. Truly one of the best places to stay in the country. Book it through Fish & Pips here!
We discovered Jillian from @Queensofeve when researching our intimate health articles on zoella.com and fell in love with her mission to destigmatize vaginal and vulva health through sharing her experiences and shining a light on those that aren't discussed enough.
First off, how are you, and how is your 2021 going?
I’m doing well thank you! There have certainly been some challenging times but I’m feeling much more positive now restrictions have begun to ease more. I’m loving all the time I’m getting to spend with my friends who I’ve been separated from during the pandemic, you really take things for granted until they are taken away from you. Also loving this sunny weather! I really hope it stays.
Can you tell us about the work you do online?
I primarily run my Instagram page Queens of Eve where I aim to empower, embrace, and educate on intimate health. Specifically vulval health, and the medical bias we experience as women (it’s so interesting to learn about the history of women’s health, however also quite enraging!).
I share my own experiences as I suffer with several gynaecological conditions and Queens of Eve has become not just my own space to share my pain, but an online community of fellow sufferers or simply people who are interested in knowing more about my journey.
Throughout my time running my page I have learnt so much about other gynae conditions that I don’t personally suffer with (such as Endometriosis) so I also try my best to raise awareness on those topics too! I’m really happy that by speaking up it has shown to a lot of people that these topics should not be taboo, and I hope it’s encouraging others to go and seek the medical help they may need or talk openly to their own friends & family about vaginal & vulval issues.
Would you be able to share your personal story with intimate health?
Of course! I’ll give a brief summary as I tried to write my own blog post about this once and it exceeded 7 pages or so (yikes). I believe I’ve always had some degree of vulval pain/irritation even as a child, which I think could be closely linked to my allergens. However it wasn’t until I was sexually active that the relentless issues began.
It started with recurring thrush infections that even left the doctors baffled as to why I kept getting them so often, and then in around 2014/15 I started to experience tearing with sex, literally every single time I tried. Alongside this my vaginal discharge changed to become really heavy and watery which was incredibly distressing and embarrassing for me to cope with. With both of these issues combined I didn’t want anyone to touch me, I felt disgusting and was in constant pain because I had to wear a night pad every single day.
My skin became even worse as it was constantly wet and then had the addition of a sanitary towel tightly pressed against it day in day out (the discharge was so heavy I had no choice but to wear thick protection) and it would feel like mini papercuts around my vulva even just walking around or exercising.
It took 4 years for professionals to discover the discharge issue was caused by a cervical ectropion, and after undergoing two different minor surgeries in 2018 to remove it I can confirm that issue is resolved (as well as stopping contraception). Unfortunately, the answer behind why my skin is so prone to tearing is still something I am on a journey to discovering. I have been passed around multiple departments, sexual health, dermatology, gynaecology but so far no one can figure out what my problem is exactly. My current gynae is amazing and was one of the first people who really took time with me to listen to my worries, reassure me and do her best to help. She diagnosed me with vulvodynia (explains the daily pain/nerve pain) and possible vulval dermatitis.
Why do you think it’s so important we de-stigmatize and educate people on intimate health?
I think by openly talking about these issues it shows others that it’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, because it’s very common and nine times out of ten someone else will be in a very similar position to you. It also helps others to identify whether they could have a more serious problem. For so many years women and vulva owners have been very oppressed when it comes to sex, sexual/intimate health and were perceived as ‘hysterical’ when coming forwards with vaginal/vulval symptoms. In fact, the word ‘uterus’ comes from the Greek word ‘hystera’ meaning hysteria! Similarly this word ‘hysterectomy’ which is a medical procedure also derives from the same background. Unfortunately even today, many people are dismissed by medical professionals and told their issues are in their heads, something I have also personally experienced.
In addition to this, women or people with vaginas could be causing themselves further harm by not being aware of key things to avoid. This is not helped by some brands within the feminine hygiene industry. Things like believing a vagina ‘smells bad’ and then going on to be self conscious by over washing and using harmful soaps/deodorants/wipes thinking that this is helping them, when in fact it is hurting them through a higher risk of contracting infection, which in turn can then make you smell worse!
What are some of the most common misconceptions you see online when it comes to intimate health?
Oooh so many! My BIGGEST gripe which I’m sure anyone who follows me will know is the misconception that your vagina should smell like a rose. We have a naturally acidic pH which will give off a slightly tangy/musty odour but that is normal! All of these wash products that contain fragrance, deodorants (such a weird concept to me that these exist) wipes, and now a new ‘odour eliminating gel’ are all so dangerous because not only do they heighten an already very common insecurity, they actually CAUSE bad odour through the contraction of infections like bacterial vaginosis. Not to mention the ingredients cause irritation and pain, especially for those of us with pre-existing health conditions.
Absolutely nothing should be inserted up into the vaginal canal apart from a tampon/menstrual cup or any approved medical treatments like pessary tablets for thrush.
There’s also a misconception around Endometriosis, firstly there is no cure, so any information or products out there claiming to cure the condition are extremely false. It’s also NOT the same as the endometrium (tissue that makes up the lining of the womb) . It’s tissue similar to the endometrium, but really important to know that it is not the same!
It’s usually hard for women & vagina owners to get a diagnosis, do you have any tips to help people feel more confident?
I completely can relate to this, especially as I don’t really have a diagnosis for my tearing. It can feel so frustrating, tiring and isolating having to constantly repeat yourself to different doctors and to sometimes be easily dismissed. Although it’s so hard to keep motivated and hopeful, my biggest tip would be persistence. You have got to just keep pushing and fighting until you are taken seriously, which really shouldn’t be the case but unfortunately it is.
Also the fact that you know your own body best. If you aren’t confident about advice a doctor has provided, seek a second opinion. If I went by some of the first advice I have been given in my past then I would have made myself a lot worse, but I knew in myself that the issues I was experiencing were more than what I was being told.
Secondly, sexual health clinics are amazing. I have found them so much easier to get appointments within in comparison to GP appointments and they still have the power to be able to refer you to gynaecologists. I was referred to my current gynaecologist through my local sexual health clinic!
What do you hope to achieve in the next few years with Queens of Eve?
I have so many ideas up my sleeve but unfortunately a lot are subject to cost, I don’t have the budget to get started at present so most of these ideas are something I aspire to reach in the future! I would absolutely love to write a book, or e-books on my own story but also covering different ‘taboo’ topics to help destigmatize and empower people to embrace vaginal health.
I’m currently working on my own blog website, something I have had in the past but was never happy with so am taking the time to get it right. I would love to have something similar to Mumsnet but for younger women and covering topics like day to day vaginal health, discharge, periods, conditions and not just about pregnancy and motherhood, my audience is definitely a younger bracket and I don’t see anything quite like this online yet so hopefully I can fill that gap!
For now I am just focusing on growing my platform so that my exposure increases and to help as many women as I can. I’m so pleased with how positive and lovely everyone is and want that to continue.
What are you currently working on?
I’m currently working on my blog website behind the scenes, there’s a lot of work to do for a one woman band with a full time job! I love it though because it’s something I’m truly passionate about. I signed up to a couple of courses at the center for women’s fitness which I need to finish as well, focusing on pelvic floor exercises and myofascial release.
I’m also continuously working on my own social media content, Instagram, TikTok (I feel far too old for this platform at times and it shows haha) and I also have a private Facebook support group & page. I’ve done a couple of podcasts with some lovely ladies, blog posts for the Just Girl project & have hosted some of my own virtual events. Now that COVID restrictions have eased more I may be planning some in person events/meet-ups so watch this space….
Who are some of your current favourite follows?
Can I say Zoella? I don’t know if that’s cheesy but it’s true! I’m so happy that sex, women’s health etc are topics that are being covered by larger platforms so thank you so much.
I love @samtalkssex who co-owns the sex toy retailer Jo Divine. I did a live with Sam & she is so knowledgeable and equally passionate about ingredient safety and I just think she is fabulous and really confident in talking about sex which I find really inspiring!
@drjengunter is INCREDIBLE. I have her book ‘The vagina bible’ and encourage anyone and everyone to read it. She also has her own blog ‘the vajenda’ where she covers vaginal myths, calls out awful products, answers the questions that everyone wants the answers to.
There are so many and I don’t want to leave people out but I’ve also connected with so many amazing people who share similar problems to myself, some of whom I’m excited to meet in person soon! @sugardancegang and @klairedoyleart are two very special ladies that I met through Queens of Eve. We’re having a meet up next month and I can’t wait! Beckie sells her own gorgeous handmade marble candles at Sugar dance gang inspired by film & tv characters, and Claire is such a talented artist who has also done some empowering female body pieces.
What does your perfect weekend look like?
I would say a really peaceful secluded getaway, those tree house lodges you can stay in are right up my street. Lots of scenery, relaxation and having that time to unwind as I’m always so busy. I also love nothing more than going out for dinner, so a lovely evening meal with a few gin and tonics wouldn’t go amiss either! Does anyone have a sausage dog I could take with me? They are my dream.
What do you always carry with you?
Sadly, my phone. I definitely spend way too much time on it but in fairness, my social media channels are what I work on the most so I struggle to put it down. I also always have a little emergency bag in my handbag, full of different medications I may need, tampons, liners, a bit of lip balm, spare contact lenses and sometimes even a spare pair of pants. You just never know when you will need them!
What would your last ever meal be?
Sushi hands down. I think sushi is the only thing I could happily eat for breakfast lunch and dinner. Smothered in soy sauce of course.
What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?
I would say, given the last year and other things I’ve had to go through recently, to just live your life like it’s your last day, every day. There is no time to be unhappy, whatever that may be, try and cut it out. Don’t feel guilty in putting yourself first, you are important and your happiness even more so. As my mum always says, you aren’t here for a long time, you’re here for a good time, so if you want to do that thing you’ve been putting off for whatever reason, just DO IT.
Mental Health During Pregnancy: Looking Out For You
From conception to birth, looking after your baby is a full-time job but this is your reminder to tend to your own heart and disregard any shame or guilt around getting the necessary professional help and peer-to-peer support you need...
Preparing to have a baby is an exciting time but also a challenging one and not every parent-to-be will feel overcome with joy throughout the experience. Becoming a parent is a profound life event and it’s completely natural to have periods of low mood and overwhelming emotion, particularly if it’s your first baby.
The pandemic has amplified feelings of isolation and anxiety amongst new and expectant parents, so it’s never been more important to be honest about how you’re feeling and be kind to yourself.
One in five people have maternal mental health problems during pregnancy and up to a year after birth and it can affect both expectant mothers and people and their partners.
From conception to birth, looking after your baby is a full-time job but this is your reminder to tend to your own heart and disregard any shame or guilt around getting the necessary professional help and peer-to-peer support you need, particularly if your mental health is being compromised.
Here’s everything you need to know about looking after your perinatal mental health during and after pregnancy.
What is perinatal mental health?
‘Perinatal’ refers to the time between conception up to three years after giving birth. Effectively, any mental wellbeing difficulties associated with pregnancy, birth and beyond can be defined as perinatal mental health conditions.
It is less known that people experience depression while they are pregnant.
Common perinatal problems include perinatal depression, perinatal anxiety, perinatal OCD, postpartum psychosis and p¬ostpartum PTSD. Whilst most people are aware of postnatal depression (PND) it is less known that people experience depression while they are pregnant. Prenatal or antenatal depression can be caused by nausea or trauma from a miscarriage or stillbirth in a previous pregnancy.
The baby blues differs from PND. It refers to the brief period of low mood following the birth when new parents are sleep deprived and adapting to the demands of parenthood. Though it can feel exhausting and emotional at the time, hormones are usually to blame and it passes within a few days. Postnatal depression, however, is a deeper, long-term depression that usually develops within six weeks of giving birth and can come on suddenly or over time.
Trust yourself and listen to your intuition – if what you’re feeling is beyond your norm or you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to speak to your GP or midwife straight away.
Recognising the symptoms & how you might be feeling
If you’re experiencing perinatal depression, you may be feeling some of the following symptoms:
Tearful Agitated or irritable Isolated and alone Lacking self-confidence and self-esteem A sense of hopelessness Feeling on edge Recurring worrying thoughts A sense of dread Insomnia Panic
Reduced appetite Lack of interest in sex and intimacy Feeling disconnected from the world around you (derealisation, a type of dissociation) Finding no pleasure in the things you would usually enjoy Numb Feeling a sense of detachment from your baby / your partner Suicidal thoughts Fear of being alone with baby
Treatment
If you are going through perinatal depression, you may be offered various types of treatment but the core options are usually short-term talking therapy including cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or interpersonal therapy (IPT), and medication.
Your midwife will be able to help make a support plan for you if you’re concerned about how pregnancy will affect your mental health.
The medication prescribed is most likely to be an antidepressant. If you have reservations about taking medication whilst pregnant or breastfeeding / chestfeeding, talk to a healthcare professional as early on as you can to discuss your options and make an informed decision about which treatment is right for you, your mental health and your baby. Your GP will be able to advise you on taking a different type or medication or changing the dose. Your midwife will also be able to help make a support plan for you if you’re concerned about how pregnancy will affect your mental health.
Managing your mental health
It’s easy to forget the self-care basics when you’re doing your best to grow and look after a tiny human so try to be realistic about what you can achieve day-to-day. Even eating regular healthy meals, keeping physically active and getting showered and dressed every day can make the world of difference to your emotional and physical wellbeing.
Learn to say yes to offers to help with shopping, child-care and housework, you can’t do it all and no one expects you to.
Get a good quality night’s sleep whenever you can, limit screen time, avoid caffeinated drinks and wind down at least an hour before bed to recharge properly. Learn to say yes to offers to help with shopping, child-care and housework, you can’t do it all and no one expects you to. Being a new parent can be lonely business so connecting with other parents can be all the reassurance you need that you’re not the only one. Spend time with people who support you wholeheartedly without judgement and try not to take on any extra stresses such as moving house or changing jobs unless you absolutely have to.
You don’t need to be a perfect parent who gets it right every single time and soldiers on without anyone to lean on. Everyone is muddling through for the first few years and plenty of new parents will share and validate your experience. There is no shame in asking for help. A healthy parent – who priorities their mental health – is a healthy baby. Talking about how you’re feeling with the people that understand both the positives and the negatives of what you’re going through will give you the space and self-compassion to be honest.
Hypnobirthing and breathing techniques
Many expectant parents find hypnobirthing is a great way for them to relax and enjoy pregnancy more by learning about ways to manage pain and fear through self-hypnosis, breathwork, deep relaxation and guided visualisation. Essentially, it’s intuitive or mindful birthing under another name.
It provides a toolkit for pregnancy and gives the birthing person and their partner the self-trust and confidence they need in order to feel in control and more prepared for the birth. Often partners can feel helpless during the birth but hypnobirthing has been developed with your birth partner in mind to give them an active role during labour.
You can find a whole range of virtual hypnobirthing courses, apps, audiobooks and podcasts, so do your research and go with whatever feels appropriate for you.
For more maternal mental health support, check our list of resources below…
This week the team are sharing the essential (yes Monopoly Deal IS essential) items that we refuse to pack a bag without, both as a reminder for our future holiday going selves and to inspire your own travel bag contents this summer.
It’s vaxxed girl summer everyone and you know what that means? Travel! Within the confines of our country! But travel nonetheless! It might not be the meandering streets of Mykonos or the botanical beauty of Bali, but when you’re in great company, escaping the confines of your day to day and there’s a wee bit of sunshine involved (please Met Office) then who cares the destination, you’re on holiday baby!
Before a staycation might have felt like a last resort, it’s not something we’ll ever take for granted again.
Gratitude and appreciating the small moments of joy in life has been a common theme in the past year or so, and we’re sure you can agree that whilst before a staycation might have felt like a last resort, it’s not something we’ll ever take for granted again. Whether it be The Lake District, Margate, The New Forest, Cardiff, Brighton (our personal favourite) or The Cotswolds, there’s beauty to be found in the big sights and the small, undiscovered experiences and memories that only the U.K has to offer. Wholesome times ahead, people!
And with the endless smiles and photos to come is the also endless organising, packing, repacking and worrying you’ve forgotten something that is universal to every trip away from home. This week the team are sharing the essential (yes Monopoly Deal IS essential) items that we refuse to pack a bag without, both as a reminder for our future holiday going selves and to inspire your own travel bag contents this summer.
What’s a non-negotiable item you would absolutely turn the car around if you forget? Snap if you also said the snack supply.
Zoe
I’ve just got back from a staycation in Suffolk so this has come at the perfect time! Most of the things I took weren’t totally out of the ordinary but I do feel like depending on the type of staycation you’re going on, being able to drive allows you that little bit more space for some home comforts that you’d usually leave behind! I think having cosy joggers with a matching top is good, because if the weather drops in the evening, it works, but also looks great as an out-and-about outfit too. SPF! Just because you’re staying in the UK, don’t forget it! Chunky, comfy slip-on shoes! Qwirkle cubes is also a great game to play with friends and family too!
SPF is always the first thing I’ll pack for a staycation, whatever time of year. This La Roche Posay one is my ultimate go-to, nothing else compares to it. The rest of my bag is usually filled with a mixture of swimwear (because if there’s water of any kind, you bet I’ll be getting in it), a good book, a camera, a nice face mask to do in the evening before getting ready to go out and some sort of cosy layers I can chuck on in the evening.
GET ME ON A TRAIN/IN A CAR/WALKING TO A DREAMY UK LOCATION STAT. As you can tell I feel extremely excited at the prospect of a home away from home trip this year and honestly I always love exploring the U.K. so it will still feel like such a treat! I’ve got a trip booked to Penzance in August and my Instagram saved folder is already packed with things to do and general wanderlust.
My staycation picks are kind of predictable, but what can I say, it’s good to be prepared! Tech is always a must in my ‘don’t forget’ pile and headphones and a portable charger are up there as two of the most essential items, especially during a long car journey. I’m manifesting a summer of sun, sun, sun so of course a cute new bikini is coming with me, along with SPF which of course I wear (mostly) all year round. Finally, are you even human if you don’t leave the house with a tote bag? Didn’t think so.
I just came back from a little staycay in Cornwall and it actually felt like I’d flown to another country after being in my own boring house for so long! Honestly if you’re stressing about booking a holiday abroad just save yourself the anxiety and find something fun to do in your home country, I guarantee it’ll be just as exciting. I bought these super chic white trousers with me and felt like a millionaire in them, I’m usually such a jeans wearer and have trouble finding trousers I like that fit me. Throw in a classic white shirt resort shirt you can wear with said trousers, jeans, midi skirt, or over swimwear! Never go anywhere without my trusty Monopoly Deal, and some sunnies, these hexagonal Ray-Bans are fun. I also came across this cold cream which can be both a cleanser and a mask that sounds dreamy for sunkissed skin. Pack it all up in this lovely green holdall from OB!
The girl guide in me really comes out when packing for a staycation. Most of my weekends away involve my uni friends who can be a bit wild so there’s no choice but to be prepared for every eventuality. And who knows what’s going to happen with British weather. We could need boots, we could need bikinis. Staycations also mean driving so I mean you need snacks and an eye mask for naps right?
I’m so here for the Summer UK staycations! It’s sad to not be able to travel abroad, but this traffic light system is proving… unreliable to say the least. I have a holiday booked for Broadstairs in July which I’m super excited for so these are some of the things I’ll be bringing with me. Number one, I never go anywhere without my La Roche Posay Anthelios SPF, it’s so good and lightweight! A large tote bag is your best friend on holiday, especially if you are heading to the beach and are like me and pack EVERYTHING you could possibly need. I always bring a face mask too, in case you are wanting an impromptu pamper night, also good for the skin when wearing so much sunscreen. Bikini packed of course (fingers crossed for sun ha) and some funky sunnies!
All The Gear, No Idea! A Guide to Camping for Beginners
Like most outdoor activities, the key to a good camping experience is all in the planning. If it’s your first time in a tent and you’re wondering what you need to pack for when you’re out in the elements and at one with nature, we’ve got you covered.
Planning a getaway closer to home has never felt more like a treat as we trade in our resistance bands (we used them a grand total of: never) and threadbare pjs for the thrill of the open road and the great outdoors. Ah, we’ve missed you fresh air and freedom.
The key to a good camping experience is all in the planning.
With the promise of a heatwave on the way (finally. What time do you call this?!) and staycations going nowhere for 2021, you might be thinking about making the most of summer by pitching up in a secluded spot and heading away on a cheap and cheerful camping holi-stay.
Like most outdoor activities, the key to a good camping experience is all in the planning. If it’s your first time in a tent and you’re wondering what you need to pack for when you’re out in the elements and at one with nature, we’ve got you covered.
Here’s a post created with first-time happy campers in mind.
Decide on your vibe
There is more than one way to camp, so the first thing to do ahead of your adventure is decide what kind of camping trip you’re after. Are you down for going back to basics, living off-grid and pitching up in the wild for a while, or is kicking back on a campsite more your cup of tea? If you’re new to camping, you’ll probably be more at ease finding a campsite with amenities to make your first experience straightforward and stress-free. With campsites all over the country from the woodlands to the coast, you’ll have plenty of cool backdrops to choose from. It’s also worth considering whether you need the campsite to be child-friendly or dog-friendly as this might determine where you can stay.
These websites are a great place to start your campsite search:
Fledgling campers often overlook the sleeping bags but one thing you can’t skimp on when it comes to camping is a good night’s sleep. Even in the balmy summer months, it gets very cold at night so be sure to check the season and temperature rating on your sleeping bag to see if it’s right for when you’re planning to go away. Better yet, put it to the test in the garden to see if it keeps you warm enough. Pick a decent bag – and a sleeping mat to boot to add another layer between you and the ground – and your camping experience will be transformed.
Have a tent rehearsal
Get familiar with your gear! Always practice pitching your tent in your garden ahead of your trip, that way you won’t be caught out when it comes to putting your tent up and taking it down at the campsite. Better to come across a repair job at home than when you’re in the middle of a field surrounded by seasoned campers – a bit of planning goes a long way. In fact, camping out in your garden for a night is a great way to see if the outdoorsy life is for you. Plus, home will always have the best facilities. Ease yourself in gently!
Setting up at the campsite
Arrive nice and early to bag yourself a great spot and pitch your tent while it’s still daytime. Trying to assemble a tent in the darkness is only good for comedy, nothing else.
When you’re ready to settle, look for relatively high-level ground, free from any debris that could damage the tent. Pitching up under the trees amongst the dappled light might sound like the pinnacle of cottagecore dreams but not only are you a target for lightning strikes, the tree sap will make it a nightmare to clean. Opt for a shady spot you can hang out in during the heat of the day and save yourself a sticky situation.
Cook on a camping stove
A lot of campsites don’t allow campfires, but a stove can be just as fun and practical. Set it up away from your tent, out the wind and make sure you stock up on plenty of gas. More than you could ever need. You can pick up a camping stove for quite a fair price these days, and we think you could make a slap-up meal with this double burner from Millets!
Some campsites have washing facilities to clean your dishes but check ahead so you can pack a washing up bowl and cloths if this isn’t the case.
Save any sachets of salt, pepper and sugar from takeaways and decant any oils and condiments into smaller jars and bottles to make them easier to transport.
If your campsite does allow fires, ensure you’re building yours in a designated area, at least five metres away from your vehicle, tent or the surrounding hedgerows.
Plan your meals
Check ahead before travelling to see if your campsite allows campfires and plan what you’re going to cook each night to save you the time and hassle of figuring it out when you’re there, particularly if you’re in a big group and have many mouths to feed. Do a big food shop a few days before to ensure all your grub stays nice and fresh and you’re not stuck snacking on noodles for three days straight.
If all else fails, scope out the local area ahead of travelling to see how far away the local shops and pubs are if things don’t go to plan.
Check how far away the water supply is
It’s a good idea to check the distance to the nearest water source since you’ll be needing to make several trips a day for drinking, cooking and cleaning. You probably won’t fancy lugging a five-gallon container half-way across the campsite after a full day of rounders.
When you’re doing your dishes, have a bowl with warm soapy water for washing and a bowl with clean water for rinsing and ensure you dispose of the dirty water responsibly in approved places.
Size up with your tent
Avoid a crowded tent by going up a size. A general rule of thumb is to opt for a tent that sleeps two more people than you need, so if two of you are camping go for a 4-person tent. This will allow room for backpacks, sleeping bags and all the other bits and bobs holidaying humans take away with them for no apparent reason. A head-height tent also makes camping life that little bit more comfortable for families.
If you’re not sure the camping life will be for you, it’s worth asking a very kind outdoorsy friend if you can borrow their tent rather than fork out for a spenny yurt. Alternatively, to ease yourself into camping, you can always choose to stay in a pre-pitched bell tent to save you the hassle of pitching.
Pack plenty of layers
Fleeces, blankets, rain suits, waterproofs, thick socks – bring it all and cover all bases with a layer for every eventuality. It’s UK camping, who knows what weather you’re going to end up with.
Foldable chairs / loungers are a must
Did you even go camping if you didn’t sit in a chair that was more flexible than you’ll ever be? Sitting on the grass is lovely ‘n’ whimsical for a short while but the most seasoned campers know that a foldable chair is your best chance of a comfortable campfire seat, just in time for s’mores o’clock. Some campsites will provide picnic tables but you can’t really pick that up and plonk it next to the fire.
Leave no trace
It seems like an obvious point to make but we can all lose track of what we did with our crisp packet when we’re invested in a game of Uno. Always put your rubbish away in a secure bin each evening or in your car away from curious critters. When you’re ready to head home, make sure you leave your pitch as tidy as it was when you arrived, or better than when you rocked up. That means clearing your rubbish and taking it home with you or putting it in the bins provided on site, dowsing your fire properly and packing up all your gear. After all, the great outdoors is only great if we look after it.
Make a checklist of essentials
Never underestimate the power of a checklist. They’re great for making sure you don’t leave anything at home from utensils to spare pegs, pillows and… toilet paper.
Here’s a few handy things to add to yours:
Spare tent pegs Mallet Sleeping mat/air bed + pump Pillows Water carrier Bin bags Torch Camping table for mealtimes Bottle opener Cutlery Tin opener Chopping board Matches SPF Toilet roll Hand sanitiser Insect repellent First aid kit Washing up bowls + cloths Biodegradable soap Tea towels
Cool bag / box Towels Toiletries Toothbrush Toothpaste Shampoo Thermos flask Pocket knife Tinfoil Cooking oil Tea/coffee Milk Beer/wine Glasses Paper towels Condiments Newspapers (for the campfire) Gaffer tape for repairs Earplugs Suitable footwear Spare underwear and socks
The Fashion Rentals & Made To Order Brands Your Wardrobe Will Want to Commission ASAP
Alongside shopping second hand, these alternatives to shopping cheap and oftentimes poorly made clothes mean you can consume fashion and switch up your wardrobe without the environmental or human rights impact that is inescapable in fast fashion.
We love it even though we shouldn’t. It’s the equivalent of the final Jäger Bomb you know you should say no to, the quick walk in the sun without SPF you tell yourself will definitely be fine, the slightly soggy looking veg that’s got lost in the back of the fridge. That’s right, we’re talking about fast fashion, which can oftentimes feel like going against everything you know better than but still lures you in regardless. And in moderation, all of these things are fine, they serve a purpose and they are necessary (not so much the Jäger Bomb). But perhaps as our priorities change and the impact we leave on our planet becomes more pressing, the need for alternatives becomes necessary too- because stopping shopping altogether isn’t going to happen, but lessening our impact on the environment and embracing slow fashion absolutely can.
Ultimately, the appeal of fast fashion is the low price, making it achievable to keep up with ever-quickening trends without breaking the bank.
To put it into context, “textile production contributes more to climate change than international aviation and shipping combined”. Sadly, as much as we painstakingly separate our recycling and take the bus instead of hopping in the car, if we continue shopping from brands that turnover clothing lines at super speed and encourage a throwaway attitude to clothing consumption, we will never get to the root of climate crisis. Ultimately, the appeal of fast fashion is the low price, making it achievable to keep up with ever-quickening trends without breaking the bank and social media, especially our dear toxic friend Instagram, which absolutely plays a role in fuelling this disposable mentality. Research shows “one in three young women, the biggest segment of consumers, consider garments worn once or twice to be old”- a mindset often bolstered by the fear of outfit repeating on the grid.
Sounds bad, huh? We have a solution. Rental fashion and made-to-order garments are here to help, offering a way to look 10/10 stylish but without the same guilt, and they’re taking the fashion world by storm. Alongside shopping second hand, these alternatives to shopping cheap and oftentimes poorly made clothes mean you can consume fashion and switch up your wardrobe without the environmental or human rights impact that is inescapable in fast fashion.
So, let’s break them down…
What is rental fashion?
The world of rental fashion gained popularity stateside mainly thanks to the website Rent the Runway, which changed the way consumers thought about shopping forever, and the concept has slowly trickled across to the UK, becoming notably popular during lockdown 1 of 2020.
Different rental platforms operate in different ways, but their purpose remains the same: to allow shoppers to rent designer clothing items or accessories for a set time period and at a fraction of the price. Some websites operate on a peer-to-peer basis in which individual shoppers offer items from their wardrobes to independent renters, whereas other business models authenticate stock from brands and hold and manage the process of cleaning, sending and returning themselves.
How it works…
The cost of renting depends on the garment, seller and how long you hire the item for, however it always works out at a fraction of the RRP meaning you can get your hands on coveted brands without denting your bank balance. Peer-to-peer rental service Hurr says items are normally available for 20% of the RRP and include brands such as Rixo, Ganni, Shrimps, Stine Goya and Realisation Par- some of the coolest, chicest names in the biz! Peer-to-peer services are responsible for accepting, posting and generally handling the renting process from start to finish, however some businesses include a concierge service for an additional cost in which lenders can pass on these responsibilities.
Rental platforms such as OnLoan and My Wardrobe HQ operate on a subscription basis, allowing renters to pay a flat rate each month to rent a set number of items on a regular basis- one that might be especially appealing to the social butterflies or serial wedding attendees of the world. The surge in popularity of rental fashion means there will almost definitely be a service and format that works for you.
Founded in 2017 and dubbed “the Airbnb of fashion” (Forbes), Hurr is a peer-to-peer service including clothes and accessories allowing you to “get your kicks from the latest luxury trends and pieces, without burning a hole in their pocket or the planet.” Hurr offers £5 damage protection to give renters peace of mind (which covers repairs such as broken zips, missing beads and stain removal) up to a maximum repair cost of £50 per rental, which may be appealing for nervous first-time renters. Hurr includes plus-size rental, bridalwear, sunglasses, bags, shoes and hair accessories, making it a perfect one-stop-shop for all your wedding or holiday needs.
Founded by wonder woman Georgie Hyatt (a previous trend forecaster FYI) and her partner, Rotaro stocks ultra-cool mid-luxury sector brands with a retail value of around £100-£1200. If you’re renting for the planet then Rotaro is the one for you, as the platform offers biodegradable packaging, eco-friendly laundering and repair and they plant a tree with every order! Including brands such as Jacquemus, Cinta The Label, Sister Jane, Cult Gaia and House of Sunny, Rotaro offers dreamy pieces for as little as £15 for a four-day loan.
The first social rental app of its kind, By Rotation is peer-to-peer rental done right. Founder Eshita Kabra-Davies says, “it’s really up to our users to decide what’s trending on the app. This has created a much more democratic approach to luxury fashion.” something we adore! Eshita was inspired to start By Rotation after witnessing first-hand the effects of textile waste whilst on her honeymoon to her motherland Rajasthan, India. The platform doesn’t purchase any inventory themselves so are entirely sustainable, solely stocking items from independent lenders including brands such as Molby The Label, Realisation Par, Loewe, Coach and Paloma Wool.
OnLoan is “Your dip-in-dip-out rental wardrobe” on a membership basis. Renters can receive 2 items a month for £69 (items worth an average of £500) or 4 items for £99 (items worth an average of £1000). The site also offers Capsules- monthly wardrobe updates for either 3 or 6 months which can save you even more money if you’re a regular renter. The platform works directly with brands on a wholesale basis featuring current and past season stock, adding longevity to the life cycle of existing garments that would otherwise be wasted.
Fashion renting ticks endless boxes for style lovers looking to switch up their wardrobe or wear something new without the long term investment, but what if you are looking for something to treasure forever that doesn’t break the bank or kill the planet? Enter: made to order brands. Producing garments only when they are ordered is the premise, and the concept makes so much sense in a world striving for less waste. The concept feels entirely alien to ASOS Premier Delivery or the ability to browse a sale rack of 20 duplicate items in every size, and the novelty of really considering the purchase is all part of the appeal.
Buying from a made to order brand is undoubtedly far more of a financial investment than shopping fast fashion, but with your receipt comes the promise of fairer working conditions, a lower environmental impact, less waste and exploitation and a piece truly made with love. The risk of overproduction is eliminated, and many times such brands make the most of dead stock too to further help patch up the damage fast fashion can cause.
If that wasn’t reason enough to be head over heels for made to order shopping, many of these small businesses are run by independent female entrepreneurs meaning buying their garments contributes to their success and supports them financially as opposed to the big corporations. We love to see it!
We love everything By Megan Crosby stands for and her deliciously bright, bold and fun prints have gained her a cult following across Instagram – snapping up an order is seriously sought after. Including dresses, bodysuits, co-ords, face masks, blouses and flares, creating a playful wardrobe that does good and looks good has never been easier. If you love statement, maximalist dressing, BMC is for you. “Together we can dress bright, make better shopping decisions and buy fashion with a clear conscience.”
Whimsical and feminine with a funky twist, Molby the Label know their strengths and run with it. Their signature midi dresses are all over the ‘gram, and for good reason too. Molby also stocks matching oversized hair bows, confirming their status as a go-to for a put together, cool girl ‘fit.
As seen in Grazia, Peggy’s Room is the ultimate nod to nostalgia. “Effortlessly feminine with a badass rock-chic edge, Peggy’s Room is for the free-spirited muse who seeks adventure and lives life on her own terms.” We couldn’t have put it better ourselves. Designed and handmade in founder Suzanne’s home studio in Kent, all fabrics are sourced locally and are washed at least twice to give them that ultra-soft, vintage feel.
With Love Evie celebrates the joy that can be found in outfit repeating – a mission we can truly get behind. If your favourite colour is red, then this is the shop for you, as the gorgeous hues of red gingham look like a British summertime dream. Perfect for picnics, pub gardens and staycations, With Love Evie ensures being comfortable and confident comes hand in hand.
Did someone say oversized collars in fun prints? We’re sold. This slow and conscious made-to-order brand merges masculine, boxy shapes with ultra feminine prints, creating the perfect balance between the two and items you can truly wear until the end of time. If that wasn’t enough to grab your attention, Mia sells matching scrunchies too.
Taking inspiration from the vibrant colours and the flowing shapes of nature (in particular the beautiful Dorset where founder Jana lives), her garments are fun and flirty with collars and bows so big Harry Styles would have a field day flicking through a JanaM THE LABEL rail. This is another one for gingham lovers out there, as Jana really celebrates the beauty of this simple yet classic print.
The home of shirred goodness & dreamy puffed sleeves, it doesn’t get better than Olivia Rose the Label. Loved by some of Instagram’s chicest ladies and Holly Willoughby herself (yes you read that correctly), this slow fashion brand offers unique and elegant designs you won’t find in the shops – it’s cottagecore on a hanger.
Ultra fun and with one-of-a-kind designs, this handmade to order, premium knitwear brand “aims to support slow fashion, fair manufacturing, sustainable materials, and women’s economic independence”. We love the cherry designs endlessly.
Made to order crochet clothing and accessories, Hooked Apparel uses 100% cotton in their bold, bespoke fashion. Perfect for festivals, Pride or simply those who love sporting a colourful wardrobe, Hooked are out here shaking up the world of crochet, one stitch at a time. The brand is only just over 12 months old, however with over 30,000 Instagram followers, it’s clear they have amassed a strong fanbase.
As seen in British Vogue, Elle & The independent, Before July is well known in the made to order world for nailing timeless statement pieces that can be worn season after season. Designing 1-2 collections per year & hand-making every piece to order in their UK studio, Before July is your one-stop-shop for block colour dreaminess in classic, flirty shapes.
Cawley Studio celebrates quality craftsmanship, hand smocking, natural fabrics and uses 100% natural materials in their classic designs ethically made in East London. Adopting a more neutral colour palette than many other made to order brands prominent on Instagram, Cawley Studio is one for lovers of classic simplicity.
Chalsie Joan offers “eclectic, vintage-inspired pieces that follow a subtle modern air of contemporary design” handmade in the West Midlands. Her designs have an air of Parisian chic to them, and you just know they would fit right in during an afternoon at the Louvre or coffee against the Eiffel Tower backdrop.
Born out of a love for “beautiful dresses, timeless vintage patterns and magical prints”, Mary Benson has made its way onto red carpets and between the pages of Glamour and The Independent, cementing them as the best of the best for dreamy, extra designs you will automatically feel 10/10 glamorous in.
These limited edition gender-neutral garments responsibly made to order in London are everything it means to look effortlessly put together. Created in a range of fresh, fun and funky prints, they’re statement whilst being neutral enough to wear on repeat and still rack up the compliments from admiring outsiders. We’re obsessed.
Colourful Knits and Crochet Pieces To Brighten Up Your Summer Wardrobe
The warm weather is now upon us and with that comes fun and fresh trends that may feel a little 'out there', but crochet is here to stay for summer '21 and we're here to tell you it's worth your time...
Okay hear us out. When you think of crochet, the image that springs to mind might be of a holey, ill fitting piece that your grandma proudly created but has been sat at the back of your wardrobe for 3 plus years, but it doesn’t have to be this way! The warm weather is now upon us and with that comes fun and fresh trends that may feel a little ‘out there’, but crochet is here to stay for summer ’21 and we’re here to tell you it’s worth your time…
Festivals and travel might be off the cards or still feel totally foreign this year, but nothing screams Coachella more than a crochet co-ord, and regardless of our attendance to said coveted festival you best believe our summer outfits will be on par with the Extraness of the stateside event.
Crochet is far from dowdy, and the likes of Kylie Jenner are proving so, recently seen rocking a Natalia Fedner knit dress on a tropical getaway that screamed effortless sex appeal and va va voom. The boho style is perfect teamed with messy, undone hair, oversized earrings and paired back accessories, letting your outfit do all the talking at whichever social occasions you’re flitting between during this season of fun, fun, fun.
Sweater vests took Instagram by storm over the winter and crochet feels like the warm weather extension of this, allowing you to layer thin knits and playful designs for some extra warmth and style points whilst looking trés cool doing so.
Whether you’re trying to conceive or curious to reconnect with your natural cycle again to find out what you’re like without synthetic hormones, keep reading to see what to expect when you come off the pill.
Many people start taking birth control in their teens and continue consistently without a break for a decade or more, but what happens to your body when you stop taking it, particularly after a long stretch of time?
When it comes to quitting birth control, there is a barrage of information available out there detailing the bad and the ugly, from break outs to severe mood swings, tender breasts and irregular or non-existent menstrual cycles. Despite the slew of possible side effects, many people transition off the pill without any problem whatsoever. Everyone’s body is different and there are certainly just as many positive experiences as there are challenging ones.
If you’re thinking about giving birth control the boot but you’re not sure what living pill-free life will be like, these personal and varied experiences will help you make the decision that’s right for you, your mind and your body.
Whether you’re trying to conceive or curious to reconnect with your natural cycle again to find out what you’re like without synthetic hormones, keep reading to see what to expect when you come off the pill.
Darcey
How long had you previously been on the pill?
So I started my period fairly late at the age of 15, just before I turned 16 and was put on the pill pretty quickly due to having heavy periods. I stayed on the pill from the age of 16 to 21, so around 5-6 years.
What was your experience of being on the pill?
I loved being on the pill when I first started it, I think mainly because for some weird reason it was considered cool to be on it at my school? I think it made us feel like an adult being on a form of contraception and having control over our periods. I was started on the bog-standard ‘Microgynon’ but ended up stopping this due to headaches.
It was only when I reached 21 and started exploring my anxiety more in depth did I see the link between my anxiety and the contraceptive pill.Darcey
I think I have been on around 4 different pills in those 5-6 years, I can’t even remember the name of them all. I never remember having any side effects when I first started the pill (apart from the headaches), however as I grew older I started to see a real distinct link between the contraceptive pill and my anxiety. At the age of 16 I had a really bad period of anxiety, so bad I couldn’t go to college without bursting into tears for the majority of my second term in first year. It was only when I reached 21 and started exploring my anxiety more in depth did I see the link between my anxiety and the contraceptive pill.
Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?
Absolutely not, not a single doctor sat down with me and explained any side effects or how it could effect my mental health. Looking back now I’m quite shocked the doctor put me on the pill in the first place. I had maybe had a max of 4 natural periods before complaining about the heaviness of them to a doctor to be whacked on the pill. They were super heavy, but I feel my body didn’t even have the time to regulate itself. I wasn’t sexually active either at that time, so they just put me on the pill in order to stop the heavy periods. But I was 16 and naive to the idea, if a doctor tells you to do something at that age, you’ll do it. I wish someone had maybe taken the time to explain different forms of contraception at least to me, or told me to wait a few months before making any decisions.
What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?
I felt really out of tune with my own body and like I was just pumping it with synthetic hormones without knowing exactly what they were disrupting.Darcey
I decided to stop taking the pill due to anxiety-like previously mentioned. I felt like I had discovered a real link between the pill and my anxiety, and so I went to a doctor before stopping to ask the safest way to do this and to discuss if there was any link. This doctor agreed with me that they think the contraceptive pill could have been the trigger or at least made my anxiety worse those last 5-6 years. I also decided to stop taking the pill because I wasn’t sexually active at that moment in time, I also had never properly experienced a natural cycle for me. I felt really out of tune with my own body and like I was just pumping it with synthetic hormones without knowing exactly what they were disrupting.
Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?
I wasn’t nervous at all actually, maybe naively like when I started the pill. I just thought I’d stop the pill and a month later I’d get my period and my body would be back to it’s pre-pill state. Boy I was wrong! I also think only being on it for 5-6 years made me think it wouldn’t be so bad coming off of it, as I know some people spend like 10-15 years on it before stopping.
What mental and physical side effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?
When I first came off of it I felt fine for the first couple of weeks. However then I started to get extremely achy and tender boobs, I was exhausted for weeks too like my body was really struggling to adjust to making hormones again. I also had the worst night-sweats for weeks, like I was pre-menopausal, apparently this happens when you have a sudden drop in estrogen in the body.
Apparently, post-pill acne is very common, it has only just started to calm down for me now.Darcey
I also had pretty bad mood swings for a while, I felt quite out of control of my own body, but after a couple of months it did completely settle. My worst side effect was probably acne. Although I don’t think acne in any way shape or form is bad, we all get spots and who bloody cares really, I had always had very clear skin so too suddenly be dealing with acne did knock my confidence for a while. Apparently, post-pill acne is very common, it has only just started to calm down for me now, I only really get pimples now when I am due on. But it has caused a bit of scarring and pigmentation to my face, which is totally fine but still something that took me some time to get my head around.
Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?
Mine did return straight away, however it wasn’t my ‘normal cycle’, if I’m honest I don’t think it settled until recently, after being off the pill for a year and a half. My first period pre-pill was really light and they stayed that way for quite a few months. It was only after about 6 months did they become increasingly heavier and that I noticed more signs of PMS etc. Although they have been very consistent, cycle length being 28-30 days and period length 4-5 days throughout.
Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?
Absolutely, I can recognise PMS and symptoms of ovulation. Although I can’t say this is all down to me, I use the Flo app which has really helped me discover a lot about my period and how it affects me monthly. My anxiety has really quite improved, I also have been working on it too so I can’t say fundamentally it has been the only factor to improved mental health, but my mind feels clearer. I also don’t have raging mood swings anymore, I realised the pill made me super paranoid about social situations etc. My paranoia completely disappeared once stopping the pill, it’s quite scary to think this small little pill can affect someone so much!
Knowing my body is doing what it’s meant to be doing I find quite comforting.Darcey
Coming off of the pill made me realise that I can feel when I’m ovulating which I found fascinating! I don’t get cramps while on my period, but every month when I’m ovulating I get a very minor pain in my abdomen which lasts a few hours then disappears. I also enjoy having my monthly period too, not so much when the actual period comes around ha! But knowing my body is doing what it’s meant to be doing I find quite comforting, it is amazing what the body can do!
Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?
Yes I have learnt so much! Using the Flo app like I said previously has really helped me learn about my cycle etc. Ovulating is the top one and being able to feel when this process has begun, also learning that our discharge changes when we ovulate, who would have known! I also now know a week before my period I am extremely irritated… basically anything and everything annoys me, but I have found CBD oil to help with this funk I’m in and calm me a bit.
I also get terrible tension headaches before and after my period, but not during. Cravings too, my body needs so much food when it’s menstruating, so I give it what it needs (usually chocolate)! I’m exhausted too for the first two days of my period, it does take it out of me but not to the point where I can’t get on with daily tasks. But all of these things were masked by the pill, but I am happy now that I know how my cycle effects me mentally and psychically and can prepare myself for it.
What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?
Mental clarity for sure and feeling way more in-tune with my own body. It feels really good to know so much about my own cycle now and to be able to see all the ways it affects me monthly.
Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?
I think speaking with your GP first is important and just letting them know you are wanting to stop. Also to just be openminded and see how you feel after a good few months of being off the pill, you might find you dislike not being on any form of contraception and so you can then look at other forms like IUD’s etc. Also prepare yourself for side effects, especially ones like tender breasts and acne which I have seen from my own research are pretty common. But also don’t let the side effects put you off as they are for the most part short lived and manageable from my own experience!
Have you found another form of birth control that works for you at all?
I actually haven’t attempted going on any other form of birth control since stopping the pill! Due to the pandemic, I haven’t been sexually active so haven’t seen any point of seeking out any forms of contraception. I know for a fact I will never be taking any form of contraception that has synthetic hormones again though.
If I decided I didn’t want to go on any form of contraception, any future sexual partners should absolutely respect that decision and wear a condom.Darcey
The two forms which I have been looking into to potentially start this year are natural cycles where you take your temperature every morning and it basically tells you how fertile you are, or to have the copper IUD fitted (although this does scare me a bit!). But also very much in the mind that if I decided I didn’t want to go on any form of contraception, any future sexual partners should absolutely respect that decision and wear a condom. It’s not all up to women or any person with a womb to take contraception that messes with their body just so someone doesn’t have to wrap up, it’s 2021, we are over that!
One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…
To be honest prepare yourself for some unpleasant side effects, but also prepare yourself for actually a pretty life-changing experience too! I feel so much better after stopping hormonal birth control, I read so many horror stories before coming off the pill but I think if I had read more positive ones I would have been more comforted by this while experiencing the ups and downs of coming off the pill.
Lareese
How long had you previously been on the pill?
I was on the pill consistently from the age of 15 with no break at all. I initially went on it to help regulate my periods and never came off it. Next thing I knew, I’d be taking it for nearly 15 years!
What was your experience of being on the pill?
I was on the oldest (and cheapest) pill ‘Microgynon’. It’s like the textbook pill they put you on if you have no major health concerns or history of blood clots in your family. I know a lot of people that didn’t get on with it at all, but I never had an issue with it. Aside from a few migraines here and there which I put down to period symptoms because I always had them just before I was due on. I first went on the pill during my teenage years but I don’t remember having any real side effects aside from slight weight gain.
Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?
I don’t recall ever having an in-depth conversation about the long-term health effects of taking the pill with my GP. When you’re on the pill, you have a yearly review to check your blood pressure, weight etc (always horrifying having to be weighed) and I remember posing a question about being on it for so long without a break and concerns around fertility but this was always met with, ‘you should be fine’. Should never fills you with confidence, does it?!
I do think at the age of 15, I wasn’t really fully aware of what I was putting into my body.Lareese
Despite going to the GP with my mum, I do think at the age of 15, I wasn’t really fully aware of what I was putting into my body and the potential side effects, so looking back, I can’t say it was a fully informed choice. There is a huge disparity in sex education full stop when it comes to female pleasure and birth control is no different. It’s seen as just another thing we have to do, alas going on it at 15 was a non-event. Everyone was doing it. I’m not anti-pill by any means, it did the job and it worked for me for a long time however, I do think more can be done to ensure young girls are armed with all the knowledge before they start taking it, instead of half the story.
What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?
I think talking about birth control and periods has been normalised so much more now than when I first went on contraception and that had a huge influence on my decision to ditch the pill. I just thought, hang on, I’m popping this thing mindlessly every day, shoving my body full of synthetic hormones and I don’t feel like I’m connected to my body at all. I couldn’t remember what my natural period was like or how I felt throughout my cycle so for me, it was a conscious decision to reconnect with my body. The pill was very convenient, my period was like clockwork and it became all too easy to rely on it but I finally came off in January 2020 and I haven’t looked back. It was the best decision.
Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?
Having been on the pill for such a long period of time, I was quite nervous about coming off it and what side effects I would experience. I fully prepared myself to have a terrible time. I was concerned my period would pretty much ghost me for a year or that my skin would just reject pill-free living or something but actually, it was nothing like the horror stories you go searching for on Google. I was pleasantly surprised.
What mental and physical side effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?
I was really fortunate actually, apart from having achy tender boobs for about two weeks I didn’t have any issues at all.
Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?
I think I may be a bit of an anomaly but mine came straight back the first month and they have been regular (and slightly lighter & shorter) ever since.
Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?
I have loved learning to get to know my natural cycle; there’s a real power in listening to your body and reading the signs.Lareese
YES. Hell Yes. Coming off the pill has not only given me mental clarity, it’s also allowed me to connect with the inner workings of my body, not just when I bleed but throughout my entire cycle. I’m way more in tune with my body now, I can even tell when I’m ovulating because I can feel a popping sensation and a very light cramping in my lower abdomen. It’s crazy how much the pill kind of deprives you of that intuition. I have loved learning to get to know my natural cycle; there’s a real power in listening to your body and reading the signs.
Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?
As mentioned above, knowing when I’m ovulating was pretty mind blowing because you don’t ovulate on the pill so it was wild that I could physically sense the changes around two weeks into my cycle. I also tend to get a nice bit of period bloat a good 5-6 days before I come on which never happened before, so I’d say I’m just generally more mindful of what my body is doing all through my cycle really and how that affects my mood, productivity levels and my capacity to be sociable. I don’t think I realised quite how much our cycle affects every aspect of our physical and mental health before. It’s like the master key to everything.
What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?
I no longer get those dreaded period migraines each monthLareese
For me, it was understanding my body better. I knew nothing about my cycle before because I didn’t have to. I didn’t need to listen to my body because I knew within a few days of gobbling up another shiny green packet, I could expect my period to arrive (always a Friday) and that was that. I didn’t give it a second thought. Now I use cycle tracking and try to note down how I’m feeling each day so I can make sense of my hormones. I don’t know if it’s linked necessarily, but I no longer get those dreaded period migraines each month, either.
Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?
Have an open mind. Just go with the f-l-o-w and if it’s not for you, you can look at other options that do work for you. Everybody is different and what was a horrendous experience for one person, may not be the case for you. Choice is a wonderful thing and I think whatever you choose to do with your body, own it and find power in that. It’s good to be aware of the side effects and to be extra kind to yourself during the first few months of coming off it but you don’t necessarily have to prepare yourself for the worst either.
Have you found another form of birth control that works for you at all?
I’m done with the mentality that assumes the women have got it covered. Time for them to do their bit I say.Lareese
Since I came off the pill to rediscover my natural cycle, I haven’t even thought about going back on any form of birth control, yet. It’s just condoms all the way for now bebe. The very least my LT boyfriend can do after I’ve pumped my body full of hormones for years is wrap up, ya know? I’m done with the mentality that assumes the women have got it covered. Time for them to do their bit I say.
One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…
A positive experience! They do happen – the internet just doesn’t always shout about them.
Louise
How long had you previously been on the pill?
I was on the pill for just shy of a year, but most certainly a year too long.
What was your experience of being on the pill?
In one word: horrific. It made me feel so low all of the time and extremely hormonal. I felt like a whole different person the whole time I was on it, it was absolute hell.
Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?
(TW- suicide) Not at all! I knew there were side effects of course, but no one told me the full extent of it. I knew it could make you hormonal, the weight changes, the messing up your periods or whatever, but no one told me that it could make you suicidal. I remember in GCSE biology we had to learn about different forms of contraception, but even then, it was from a scientific point of view.
I spent so long thinking I had literally gone completely crazy.Louise
I spent so long thinking I had literally gone completely crazy, all because of this tiny pill I had to take once a day. I wish someone had explained to me that what I was feeling wasn’t me being ‘crazy,’ I wasn’t losing my mind, I was simply being medicated…
What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?
I needed my life back. At the time, I was year 12 in college. I was supposed to be having some of the best time of my life, but my mental health was at an all time low because of the pill. My attendance was at 43%, I had no work completed, I was struggling to even get out of bed in the morning. Everything was such a struggle and I lost who I was because of it. I feel like that is a time I will never, ever get back, all because of a medication that no one really educated me about.
Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?
I couldn’t really afford to buy latex-free condoms regularly.Louise
I was in a relationship at the time, and I really didn’t want to get pregnant. Being allergic to latex, condoms are harder to buy & more expensive for me, while the pill was free. I couldn’t really afford to buy latex-free condoms regularly, and my ex sure as hell was not helping. I was absolutely terrified of the chance of getting pregnant, but the pros of coming off the pill dramatically outweighed the cons.
What mental and physical side effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?
Honestly, everything improved. I felt like for the first time in a very long time, I was me again. I am still absolutely terrified almost 2 years on of going on any form of hormonal contraception ever again, but I know that I will have to as I’m not planning on having children for a very long time. My energy was back, my happiness was back, my life was back. It was honestly amazing.
Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?
I’ve always been quite irregular, but with a mix of coming off of the pill & a whole lot of stress, I would go months without a period, then get it. It’s certainly settling itself down now, despite the fact I’ve had my period for almost 10 years now. The pill most certainly put a speed bump in the road but it’s finally settling.
Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?
I look at photos where I had lost so much weight from always being so depressed and anxiousLouise
Yes yes yes! I don’t recognise the girl I was before. I look at photos where I had lost so much weight from always being so depressed and anxious; not leaving my bed unless I had to be sick (from the anxiety). I had lost the sparkle behind my eyes and all of the things I had loved before I no longer cared about one bit. I didn’t realise how damaging it was to me & my life until I came off of it and finally felt like a human again.
Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?
I am not as sad as I thought I was. I suffered from medication-induced psychosis for the majority of the time I was on the pill, where I would hear voices & see things out of the corner of my eye. The room would spin and wiggle around- it was genuinely such a terrifying experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. No one deserves to feel like that. I also struggled quite a lot with my sex drive due to the pill and found it really put a dampener on it. It’s quite hard to feel sexual when you feel so so sad.
What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?
Everything was so dark for so long & I’m so grateful that it’s getting lighter again now.Louise
Getting my life back! I’m now about to finish college, my attendance is almost 100% (excluding the time I skipped a class to go get boba- sorry!) and I have an amazing group of friends who make me feel loved and appreciated and grateful to be alive. Everything was so dark for so long & I’m so grateful that it’s getting lighter again now.
Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?
If it works for you, stick with it! I have a few friends who are on the same pill as I was and have absolutely no issues whatsoever. If you’re constantly feeling down and depressed while on it, it could be a good idea to speak with your GP about alternative methods of contraception. Don’t force yourself to be on a medication that isn’t for you, and remember everyone’s bodies are so different.
Have you found another form of birth control that works for you at all?
I mean, due to the pandemic, abstinence has worked quite well, sadly! However, I just stick to condoms now. They might be more expensive and a bit annoying really, but it’s a lot better than being depressed and/or pregnant!
One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…
Getting your life back, for the better. Get ready to feel grateful for every day, for the sunrise and for dusk, for birds chirping and for the starts. Get ready to fall back in love with living again!
April
How long had you previously been on the pill?
7 years- I started the pill when I was 14 and stopped when I was 21
What was your experience of being on the pill?
My experience of being on the pill was actually really positive, I went on it to help control my acne and to make my periods more regular and lighter as that was something that caused me a lot of anxiety at school. I liked that I had control over my body and that I could even just take it back to back and have no periods at all!
Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?
As I got older I started to get more interested in contraception and did a lot of my own research.April
I went on the pill quite young and I don’t think I was fully aware at the time of all the potential side effects, as I got older I started to get more interested in contraception and did a lot of my own research. I don’t think I would have changed my mind then knowing what I know now, the benefits of the pill strongly outweighed the negative aspects of periods that I was experiencing. I think it was the advice coming off the pill that could have been more beneficial to me.
What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?
It was a decision I was forced to make rather than one I wanted to make. I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy and Cataplexy and started on a medication which interacted with the hormones in the contraceptive pill- and most other forms of hormonal birth control.
I was having thoughts at the time about starting on a different and more reliable form of contraception as I had entered a relationship and was actually starting to use the pill for contraception rather than just control of periods and acne. If I forgot to take the pill on time it would have much bigger consequences than forgetting to do so previously. I had a copper coil fitted to replace the pill.
Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?
I was nervous about it, I had taken it for 7 years and didn’t know the me post-puberty off of the pill. I have a history of anxiety and did have some concerns about how the change in hormones would affect this. For me the pill actually helped my anxiety, rather than cause it as it does for many people so it was hard to know how coming off it may affect me.
The coil was pretty much the only one that appealed to me but I had major anxiety about the fitting and dreaded it for weeks.April
I also didn’t know what my periods were like, I had gone on the pill after 2-3 cycles, I didn’t know what my cycle length would be or how heavy they would be now that I was older. I was also nervous about what other method of contraception I could use- the coil was pretty much the only one that appealed to me but I had major anxiety about the fitting and dreaded it for weeks.
What mental and physical side-effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?
My mental health definitely got worse in the few months after stopping, I had CBT which helped me to manage my anxiety and thankfully this has now completely improved. Physically though I had a lot of different side effects some of which continue to cause issues, the main issues being pelvic pain (similar to cramps but usually located on just one side) and very long periods (at one point my cycle was 100 days long!). I went to my doctor after a couple of long cycles but was dismissed by them and told this was normal. I was actually made to feel really anxious by my doctor who blamed my issues on my history of anxiety. I felt like a time-waster.
I moved flat and changed doctors surgery and after a couple of months with the issues persisting I decided to go to my new doctors. I ended up being referred to gynaecology and endocrinology for investigations into PCOS and Endometriosis. I finally felt listened to and that it wasn’t my anxiety causing me to overthink, there was actually an issue.
Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?
My cycle was all over the place, starting back pretty normal at 30 days but each cycle got longer and longer – ending up at 100 days! This was as a result of low levels of oestrogen and not normal as my first GP has assured me.
Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?
I do, I now have the hormonal IUD to control the pain I was getting which is suspected endometriosis. But the hormonal IUD keeps hormones local to the womb. This means I still have all the other signs of the menstrual cycle- PMS is real!
Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?
Mood definitely, PMS has become a lot more obvious- there are times of the month where I am a lot more on edge and have a much shorter patience than I usually would. This has been quite hard to get under control and not let affect me, my emotions are much more of a rollercoaster than they used to be when I was on the pill.
What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?
I actually really miss the pill, if it didn’t affect my medication I would be back on it tomorrow! Moving on to the IUD has been really great though and I couldn’t recommend it to people enough. I am very forgetful so I do think the pill for contraception was a bit of a risky game for me, thankfully I don’t need to think about my IUD for another 4 and a half years which is great!
Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?
I would definitely say to be aware of the issues you could get as a result of coming off the pill, do ask your doctor if you have any concerns and if you don’t think something is right speak to a doctor.
It’s just about finding what works best for you and what is going to suit your lifestyle and requirements.April
If you are thinking of switching to a different form of birth control make sure you look at all the options available to you and speak to a doctor if you have any concerns. Unfortunately, all contraception has pros and cons, none of them are perfect, it’s just about finding what works best for you and what is going to suit your lifestyle and requirements.
Have you found another form of birth control that works for you at all?
Yes, I was on the Copper Coil and then switched to the Hormonal IUD. I love the Coil/IUD, ok the fitting of it isn’t great I am not going to lie- it was the weirdest pain I have ever felt- but once it’s in you don’t need to think about it, you can just get on with your life.
One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…
To listen to your body, you will probably notice some change (hopefully not as dramatic as mine) so just listen to your body and look out for changes to your mental and physical health. If you need support reach out for it!
Bethany
How long had you previously been on the pill?
I had been on the pill for 6 years and had 0 side effects or complications. I came off the pill in 2018, due to no longer being sexually active. However, in November 2020 I went back on the pill.
What was your experience of being on the pill?
The first time I was on the pill I had 0 side effects or complications! It was great and did the job! However, the 2nd experience was awful. I gained weight, became moody and was on my period for 2 months (with about a day in between). I contacted my GP and they reassured me that this was normal and it would take a while for my periods to become regular whilst being on the pill.
Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?
I don’t feel like that there was enough awareness to help me make an informed decision. Back when I was 16, I chose to go on the pill because that was the most common form of contraception that I had heard about. I was made aware of the potential side effects, just not to the degree that I had them! I think I would use another form of contraception going forward.
What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?
I decided to stop taking the pill because of the side effects. I wanted my periods to go back to normal and I wanted to give my poor body a break! Before taking the pill, my periods were regular.
Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?
I wasn’t nervous about ditching the pill as I now use other forms of contraception when having sex. However, I am looking into other forms such as the implant.
What mental and physical side-effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?
When I came off the pill, I became slightly anxious about my periods being irregular and I gained weight.
Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?
After about 3 weeks of stopping the pill, my menstrual cycle returned to normal.
Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?
I feel much better now I’m off the pill and my body is thanking me! I like that my periods are regular again and I know when it’s coming!
Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?
I think I learnt that my mood is awful just before my period (not great for the people around me!) and I have a small amount of discharge. Other than that, nothing really!
What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?
The best thing about coming off the pill is that I am in control more of my body! My periods are now regular and I feel much much happier. The side effects were really getting me down and I was so anxious.
Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?
My biggest piece of advice would be to research all methods of contraception. Not everyone reacts the same. My friends are on the pill and they are okay! My body didn’t react well to the pill and that’s also okay! Also, speak to your GP for reassurance – they’re amazing and will help you out all the way!
One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…
When coming off the pill, prepare for your body to take time to get back to normal. Your periods won’t go back to normal straight away and it may take time!
We caught up with one of our favourite follows on Instagram, the always informing and inspiring Ruby Rare! Ruby is a sex educator who uses her platform to spread education and insight on tons of subjects including pleasure, monogamy, pronouns, the LQBTQIA+ community, consent, body acceptance, ethical porn and so much more.
First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?
I’m doing pretty good! I moved to the seaside at the start of this year and it’s done wonders for my mental health. It’s given me the headspace to focus on creative projects as well as sex education. Still feeling quite introverted after over a year of staying at home, but I’m focussing on going at my own pace when it comes to social interactions and dating IRL again.
Can you tell us about the work you do online?
I’m a sex educator, and I mostly talk about pleasure, queerness, and non-monogamy. It’s all about challenging preconceptions of what we’ve been taught sex ‘should’ look like, and helping people gain the confidence to have sex in the ways they truly want to. I also talk about body positivity – through showing the (mostly) joyful relationship I have with my wibbly wobbly body on instagram, as well as running Body Love Sketch Club with my pal Rosy Pendlebaby.
BLSC is a body-positive life drawing class where everyone is invited to pose (nude or clothed) as well as draw, as a way of exploring our relationships with our bodies and celebrating nudity in a non-sexual setting. We’ve been running classes virtually since the start of the pandemic, and it’s been a great way to feel connected to myself and everyone who attends while we’ve not been able to see each other in person. It’s a really beautiful space if I say so myself!
How did you get started in sex positive/sex education work?
I started working for Brook, the UK’s leading sexual health charity for young people, 6 years ago. Before then I’d had an interest in sex positivity, but it wasn’t until I started going into classrooms and teaching young people relationship and sex education (RSE) that I realised just how important it is! A few years later, when I was still with Brook, I ran my first workshop for an adult audience (it was about how to consume porn in a mindful and positive way). I found that adult audiences had just as many questions as the teenagers she worked with – wherever we’re at in life, there’s always more we can learn about sex.
Just like us you’re a huge advocate for self-pleasure, why do you think it’s so important for us to talk openly about it online?
By denying the existence of pleasure, or stigmatising it, we create layers of shame which is so hard to unpack, and this has a massive impact on our self-esteem in so many parts of life, not just when we’re having sex. Pleasure is something we are all able to generate for ourselves, how, when, and if we feel like it, and I’m proud to be one of the voices advocating for a celebration of self-pleasure.
What opinions would you love to see change in the mainstream media over the next few years?
I could spend hours answering this… but in short, I want mainstream media to cultivate a more sex-positive attitude, whether that’s part of a conversation explicitly about pleasure, or about broader cultural topics. Oh and if they could celebrate trans lives instead of questioning and scrutinising trans folks, that would be great too!
We’re super excited to see your announcement for a podcast! What can people expect to tune into?
Thank you! I’m so excited for people to listen. Each episode I’m exploring a topic that’s close to my heart – nudity, kink, non-monogamy, surviving sexual assault – and I talk to several different guests about it to present a multi-faceted experience for the listener. I’m all about showing how nuanced these massive topics can be, and celebrating how varied our perspectives can be.
Can you tell us about your book ‘Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults’ and how it came to be?
I don’t think sex is talked about half as much as it should be. And the conversations we do have about sex aren’t focused enough on pleasure! I wanted to create a guide where readers felt welcomed into a sex-positive world, full of tips and practical information, as well as a space where they’d feel reassured that their sexual is valid and glorious just as it is. And I’m so grateful to Sofie Birkin for creating such gorgeous illustrations throughout the book. This isn’t a book about quick fixes to ‘spice up your sex life’. It provides a way of looking at your sexual pleasure with more agency, acceptance, and joy, which I hope will make a long term difference to people’s lives.
What are you currently working on?
Right now I’m in podcast-mode most of the time, you’ll be able to hear what I’m cooking up later in the year. And I’ve got lots of exciting content planned for pride month, which will be out soon.
I spend so much time on screens during the week, I do my best to take a pause from Instagram and emails over the weekend to reset. Now I’m a full-time seaside babe, my perfect weekend is leaving my phone at home, and heading to the beach for a day of swimming and frolicking with my loved ones. I’d want to be in a nude-friendly space, with an ice lolly in one hand and a vegan jelly in the other (I bloody love jelly). And once the sun sets, I’d throw on my silliest sparkly outfit and head to a queer club. Although I’m a granny at heart, so in this dream scenario I either have the stamina to dance all night, or I’d be back home and tucked up in bed by 1!
What do you always carry with you?
I always have my massive pair of orange-tinted sunglasses on me. Even if it’s a cloudy day, the lenses brighten up my surroundings and make me smile! And I have an emergency sachet of cystitis medication in my bag at all times, cos my urethra can go from tranquil to a burning hellscape in a matter of minutes… always be prepared!
What would your last ever meal be?
A ginormous, over-the-top jelly! Vegan of course, and hopefully large enough that I could dive into it.
What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?
Your relationship to sex has the potential to impact your whole life, and it’s worth putting the time in to learn and explore. Be brave, stay curious and communicate with yourself and those around you. Never forget that you are worthy of respect, love, pleasure and FUN!