January Book Club 2021: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
Here, the team share their glowing reviews of what has been one of our top book club reads so far – I think we are all in unanimous agreement that this book has the power to heal hearts & save lives.
For our January book club, we had the absolute honour of reading and savouring every last word of Matt Haig’s glorious and beguiling bestseller, The Midnight Library. With lockdown 3.0 proving the hardest of all the restrictions yet, this poignant and perspective-shaking triumph of a novel couldn’t have landed in our laps at a better time.
Never have we read a novel that amalgamates the rock bottoms of reality with the soaring and infectious highs of the imaginary so effortlessly.
Here, the team share their glowing reviews of what has been one of our top book club reads so far – I think we are all in unanimous agreement that this book has the power to heal hearts & save lives.
I’m of the view that Matt Haig’s writing should be prescribed. The way he verbalises every shade of human emotion is revolutionary and what he’s done with The Midnight Library is no exception. He’s crafted a story that strikes a tender balance between the real and the imaginary, resulting in a genre-busting novel that manages to oscillate between reality and escapism, much like its protagonist. The central themes of regret, second-chances and ‘what ifs’ are beautifully materialised in Nora Seed and her catalogue of other lives. The Midnight Library’s message is a poignant and essential one; the willingness to live is always a story worth telling and where there is life, there is infinite possibility. Matt Haig is a storytelling wizard and for as long as we have books, he must continue to write them.
Would you recommend? I’m a Matt Haig evangelist, so it’s a resounding yes from me Rating: 5/5
Holly
This is probably the most stressed I’ve been writing a book review because I feel like I won’t be able to do it justice. Midnight Library is one of my favourite books I’ve ever read. At first, I wasn’t sure I was going to like it, the first few chapters were quite triggering and after having a bad start to January I very nearly didn’t prevail. But as soon as the Midnight Library took over, I was hooked. I read the whole thing in about 3 days.
I’m not really one to have regrets, I believe everything happens for a reason and the midnight library instilled that in me even more. That being said, it’s inevitable to have some regrets and this actually prompted me to reach out to someone and resolve an issue from a few years ago.
The whole thing is based around the character Nora and how she’s unhappy in life, and what she would change if she could. She has the option to see what her life would be like if she made different decisions, and how every decision has a knock-on effect on your life.
If I had to say one thing I wasn’t a fan of was the bit with Hugo and the science behind the midnight library. I understand why it was necessary but the whole book is so personal to Nora, I feel like it wasn’t as peaceful when it brought other characters into her story.
I would say the Midnight Library was genuinely life-changing, and I kind of hope this is really what happens when you die. I feel like this weird weight I didn’t even realise I was carrying has been lifted. Big praise for Matt Haig!
Would you recommend? Definitely Rating: 5/5
Charlotte
I love Matt Haig on social media and find he’s genuinely one of the few people who discuss mental health that really resonates with me and feels to make sense, possibly because we’ve shared a lot of the same experiences. I was so excited to give The Midnight Library a read because of this and it did not disappoint! I loved Nora from the off and really saw parts of myself in her as I definitely struggle with regrets and ‘what ifs’ on the daily. Her character felt entirely real to me from the start and the intricacies of her life were portrayed with such depth and detail that I was invested in her story and felt genuine empathy for her.
I normally go for quite ‘realistic’ books that I can picture myself in so I was a little apprehensive that The Midnight Library would feel far fetched and lose some of its poignance for me, but I was so wrong! The Midnight Library is everything I think the world needs and it gave me a lot of hope, even though it is a work of fiction. I think the messages between this book’s pages would offer comfort and love to anyone that reads it, and I’m so glad to have learnt so much from this story so early in 2021- it’s had a huge impact on my mindset!
Would you recommend? 1000000% Rating: 5/5
Danielle
The Midnight Library has been on my TBR pile for a while so I was extremely pleased to finally tuck into it this month. Boy did this one did not disappoint, it’s quite frankly everything people say it is and more. A beautiful story told so well it’ll have you contemplating every aspect of your own life and how you live it. I haven’t read something with any fantasy/sci-fi elements in for ages and it was such a delight to escape somewhere so magical every night of my dreary January. I don’t tend to hand on to regrets but I’m a bit of a daydreamer so this book really spoke to me (as I’m sure it does everyone) but it’s just so brilliantly relatable. I can see myself picking this up every few years to remember the lessons I learnt, please read it!
Would you recommend? To everyone! Rating: 5/5
Darcey
I absolutely love Matt Haig and have been a massive fan of his work and as him in general ever since reading ‘Notes On a Nervous Plant’ a few years ago. After seeing so many great reviews for ‘The Midnight Library’ I was worried that my expectations were so high that it wouldn’t quite reach them, well, it exceeded my expectations. I don’t think anything I write will be enough to explain just how great of a read it is, basically everyone should read this!
As someone who can spend to much time worrying if I’ve made the right decisions in life, analysing mistakes I’ve made in the past filled with regret (over the smallest things, as usual!), this book really spoke to me! It made me really reflect on my own life, while simultaneously being super invested in Nora’s other lives and the journey she was going on!
I recommend everyone to read this book, it has honestly changed my mindset and especially in these hard times, I think it will help a lot of people.
Would you recommend – Absolutely!
rating out of 5: 5/5
Here’s a reminder of the blurb.
Between life and death, there is a library, and within that library, the shelves go on forever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be if you had made other choices . . . Would you have done anything different, if you had the chance to undo your regrets?”
A dazzling novel about all the choices that go into a life well-lived, from the internationally bestselling author of Reasons to Stay Alive and How To Stop Time.
Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe, there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better?
In The Midnight Library, Matt Haig’s enchanting new novel, Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.
There’ll Be Happiness After You – 8 Lessons in Mending a Broken Heart
Should you get a little lost while you’re out there finding you way around and tripping over ugly landmarks, here’s a pocket map full of key coordinates, so you can always find your way home. We have every faith you’re gonna make it.
It seems a particularly cruel twist of fate that the heart, even in the throes of a paralysing break-up, insists on soldiering on. If anything, it loves harder. With every bottomless unrequited beat, it looks for old lovers long after they’ve gone – in song lyrics and sunsets, in patches of perfumed bedsheets; even the silence between long drives and the sky. Everything seems to belong entirely to them. It’s a special kind of scorpion sting and even a super strength salve won’t touch the sides. It’s cathartic at best, gut-wrenching at worst and the collateral damage is far-reaching.
Somewhere between the hours of phone calls, texting until your giddy thumbs hurt, laying on chests and placing every soul-baring card on the proverbial table. It. All. Comes. Crashing. Down. And the crippling emotional comedown ensues.
How can someone go from being the earth, the sun, the moon and the stars to being a total stranger; anonymous matter floating out there somewhere in a parallel universe?
You know every little thing that makes them who they are. Every scar, every flaw, every imperfection (yes, Bridgerton quotes will get us through this) but in some twist of fucked up fairytale fate we were never briefed on, they’re cut from the plot never to be seen again and you’re left clutching the beloved proof copy, wondering where it all went wrong.
Welcome to Heart Break City.
We won’t lie to you, it’s a shithole. But listen, it’s a path well-trodden and you’re not about to lay down roots here, you’re merely passing through. Hold onto that thought.
Should you get a little lost while you’re out there finding your way around and tripping over ugly landmarks, here’s a pocket map full of key coordinates, so you can always find your way home. We have every faith you’re gonna make it.
1. Let yourself grieve the relationship
Grieving is an essential part of your healing and as much as it feels vulnerable, scary and unbearable to sit with the pain, letting your feelings do exactly what they need to do to serve you through this funky kind of loss is self-defence on a whole new level. This isn’t something you have to get over within a matter of months, control or push through in order to make it back to normality and no matter how relentless, intrusive and potent your negative thoughts feel, remember they aren’t facts.
It’s not a quick or painless process but part of getting better is allowing yourself to feel devastated first.
When we’re experiencing hardship, we want to skip to the part where we can make things better – we apologise for crying and put thick skin on a pedestal but allowing your emotions to flow freely is exactly how you make it back to peace. It’s not a quick or painless process but part of getting better is allowing yourself to feel devastated first.
2. Take ownership of your loss
It feels a lot like the absence and loss is acutely connected to the other person but it’s not, it’s entirely yours and there’s a powerful lesson there. You sit with the pain, you get to feel it intensely and fiercely, you own it and actually, it has very little to do with them. Take them out of the equation and what you’re usually left with is this feeling of total abandonment. Sure, you feel lonely but that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of finding love again. You’re right where you need to be and as treacherous as the path may seem right now, a lovely glade full of daffodils, ducks and plenty of dick will turn up. You’ve just gotta get through those rotten brambles first.
3. Focus on perspective
A mantra to live by: no relationship is a waste of time. Reaching a point of acceptance within your loss is a breakthrough moment when you feel like you’ve got a lifetime membership at The Broken Hearts Club.
When we’re blindsided by loss and utter hopelessness, we can’t always spot the gains but that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
You can’t rewrite what’s happened with idealistic ‘what ifs’ but you can choose to take this hardship and grow from it. Like friends old and new who dip in and out of your life at various milestones and hurdles, recognising that some people can only join you for the first leg of the journey because you’ve each got all you can out of that relationship is a beautiful realisation. When we’re blindsided by loss and utter hopelessness, we can’t always spot the gains but that doesn’t mean they’re not there. It might take six months, a year or three years even, but this break up will teach your heart exactly what it wants and needs.
4. Wean yourself away
There’s nothing like a last seen notification to send you over the edge. Why do we do it to ourselves? Mute and block their social media, delete their number, archive photos do whatever you have to do to stop your fingers going there. Weaning yourself off them isn’t easy but distraction is a welcome tonic. Tell your friends exactly what you need from them, fill the void, get a dog, cut your hair, watch that tv series they thought was stupid. Use this time to indulge in all the things YOU want to do.
5. Reconnect with yourself
Loving someone else so hard often means losing sight of your needs in the process. Being single means no more compromise, no more meeting someone else’s needs before your own or answering to anyone but yourself.
Your couple radar will be on high alert and while it may seem like the whole world is drunk in love, soon you’ll begin to notice the solo lovers of the universe; too busy romanticising the f**k out of their lives to give their relationship status a second thought.
6. Write it in a letter, babe
Let it all out by writing a letter as if you were going to send it. Just don’t actually ya know, send it. Sometimes the chaos of heartbreak can leave us feeling like we’re trying to come to terms with a hundred messy parts, knotted together like a shoddy £3 necklace we won at the arcade. We need closure, hun and writing a letter is one way to get it. Tell them how angry and hurt you are, relive the best bits, let your tears mix with the ink and then when you feel like asking for them back… take your pretty little matches to it.
7. Hit play on the tragic playlist
John Legend, Taylor Swift, Westlife – they’ve all joined us in the bath tub of doom before. Wallow with the tear-jerking greats for as long as you need to then when you’re done -usually when your face contorts and your forehead feels like a breeze-block but no actual tears come out, like a cruel variant of cystitis reserved only for the consciously uncoupling folk – stick on some Ariana Grande and rise from the ashes.
8. Put judgement in the bin
If a fling’s what you need, you go do that. Sometimes meeting a new penis or vagina is exactly what you need – just don’t use all those textbook rebound moves to numb the pain because you’ll be back on the bathroom floor with a bottle of cheap plonk that tastes a lot like vinaigrette before you can say Kama Sutra.
Have you been there, done that, got the tear-stained t-shirt? How did you remedy your broken heart?
If you too favour the humble granny pant and recoil in horror at a lace number that's almost certainly going too far up your you know where, we've got you covered (literally, full briefs all round) this February.
As much as we love the idea of slipping into some slinky, sexy lingerie as Valentine’s Day approaches, let’s be real and say that the fact we’ve lived in the same loungewear sets on repeat for the past 10 months probably suggests we’re more about comfort than we are sex appeal. Sorry ’bout it.
Underwear options have come a long way since the times of M&S black briefs, with a boom in online stores in particular stocking sexy but soft and often seamless underwear that feels like a second skin.
If you too favour the humble granny pant and recoil in horror at a lace number that’s almost certainly going too far up your you know where, we’ve got you covered (literally, full briefs all round) this February. And spoiler alert, comfort doesn’t have to equal boring when it comes to looks! Underwear options have come a long way since the times of M&S black briefs, with a boom in online stores in particular stocking sexy but soft and often seamless underwear that feels like a second skin. The options are endless and we’re spoilt for choice!
Instagram savvy brands such as Dora Larsen and Womanhood are paving the way for comfort + colour + cuteness in the knicker department, offering a range of styles, coverage and contemporary designs that fit the priorities of modern women. Summed up so perfectly by Womanhood founder Tanya Robertson, “it’s no longer about choosing between comfort, style or designs that only cater to the male gaze”- we couldn’t agree more!
Here’s to making the most of Feb-roo-ary or ya know, just tolerating it, having 18 breakdowns a day and pinning all your hopes on that one nice candle you spent £45 on because that’s where we’re at right now.
So, January was trash then.
Dry Jan is in the bin and if you squint, you’ll just be able to make out Spring’s cheery head crowning
Now we’re into the month of enforced matchmaking fun – minus all the good bits like shagging and raucous galentine’s brunches – but on the plus side, we have pancakes, dry Jan is in the bin and if you squint, you’ll just be able to make out Spring’s cheery head crowning over the lockdown 3.0 hump.
Here’s to making the most of Feb-roo-ary or ya know, just tolerating it, having 18 breakdowns a day and pinning all your hopes on that one nice candle you spent £45 on because that’s where we’re at right now.
PS it’s fig scented isn’t it.
1 Praise yourself for making it through the bleakest January on record. Your lips, your bank balance, your wine supply, it all dried up
2 Thank your lucky stars you don’t have to sit in a restaurant surrounded by couples murdering the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene this year
3 Or share your tiny desk with all the humble brag office flowers
4 Decide that lent is in fact an energy vampire and you’ve given up enough over this last year so it ain’t happening, sorry big man
5 Act shook when your dad sends another V Day card from your secret admirer. He is nothing if not committed
6 Consider what kind of warped existence we’re living in now that we’re being told washing our dirty plates is good for our mental health. WELL, my mind is about to have a f**king whale of a time with this lot
7 Make an ex-boyfriend collage. And by collage, we mean dart board. Hours of fun.
8 Honour National Pizza Day the only way you know how, by deep-throating a 12 incher in the bath. Doughiness is next to godliness.
9 Start hugging trees on your government approved daily walk. The base of a grand oak is all the wood I’m getting rn
10 Burst into flames at the very mention of banana bread. We don’t do that here
11 Eat so many pancakes you perspire maple syrup
12 Realise that it’s nearly your one year in joggers and no bra anniversary. Congrats to my fave couple
13 Sign off a work email with, best wishes Lady Whistledown because nothing matters anymore
14 Cry because the whole of Instagram is either in Dubai or parading their piss poor beautiful fucking snowmen
15 Complete Bumble. That’s a wrap folks!
16 Cook yourself another tasteless dinner – could be Covid, could just be a symptom of @me
17 Place a bid on an ugly orthopaedic computer chair… three lockdowns later and you’re finally putting your posture before your Pinterest aesthetic
18 Watch another serial killer documentary to distract yourself from the doom and gloom
19 Raise a toast to wet Feb, Amazon abstinence, getting dressed, everything gets a toast these days
20 Find yourself alone, naked and eating an orange in the shower. The epitome of unbridled joy
A Month of Love: 28 Journal Prompts to Help You Feel Grateful Every Day
Here are 28 daily prompts to help inspire your gratitude practice. Don’t forget to tag us in your posts so we can flood social media with all the feel-good vibes & bright sides!
With life whizzing by at lightning speed, even in a National lockdown, it can be difficult to give the good bits their due thanks. The phone call from your sister, your cup of coffee in the morning, your orgasm at lights out or the heartbreak anthem that’s getting you through – all these small feats when realised in a few simple sentences of thanks can be enough to turn a funky day into a spunky day. Which bring us onto our month of love and daily gratitude exercise!
Gratitude is an inside job and much like any self-care ritual, it’s something that we can get a great deal out of if we tend to our own wellbeing patch little and often, rather than letting the weeds run amok.
One way to check in with yourself and make sure you’re soaking up those daily wins is by practising thankfulness. Sure, it may sound a bit woo-woo but the benefits can be transformative.
Whether you want to take 5 mins to reflect on your blessings before you hit the hay, or you want to start your day right with a good soul-deed, we want to encourage you to use those sweet daily victories to bolster your mind and cultivate a full and thankful February.
Here are 28 daily prompts to help inspire your gratitude practice. Don’t forget to tag us in your posts so we can flood social media with all the feel-good vibes & bright sides!
One thing you look forward to in the morning…
A book you’re grateful for reading…
Write down a happy memory…
Three positives to come out of lockdown…
One thing about winter that makes you happy…
Talk about someone who made you feel understood recently…
What is a personality trait you’re proud of…
One thing you love about your job or student life…
Where is a place you travelled to that felt like home…
Three things you love about where you live…
A tv series you’re grateful for…
A song you always turn up on the radio…
Something that made you laugh today…
What gave you comfort today…
Give your body a compliment…
Fave part of your evening routine…
Think of something someone said that resonated with you…
Something you’re looking forward to this weekend…
How is life today, better than one year ago…
Something you accomplished today…
Something you’re proud of yourself for…
What is something or someone that helped you out today…
One thing that made you smile today…
What activity makes you feel calm…
What is challenging you, how is this helping you to grow…
Weekly Wants: Things Keeping Us Sane in Lockdown 3.0
This week's edit of team picks focus on the little things in our mini toolkits of self lurve that help us switch off when your laptop closes at 6pm or before the groundhog day stresses kick in.
Almost 12 months of restrictions and lockdowns later, we can feel sure in saying that if your current vices are looking something like Bridgerton, Deliveroo and scrolling TikTok at any given opportunity then you’re certainly not alone. Did someone say round 5 of that spoon scene?
Here’s to putting well-being at the top of your daily to-do list. Anyone for a slice of banana bread?
Despite what has truly felt like a never-ending slog at times, focusing inward and prioritising self-soothing, comfort and peace is always a good idea for keeping your mental health in check at a time of real vulnerability. This week’s edit of team picks focus on the little things in our mini toolkits of self lurve that help us switch off when your laptop closes at 6pm or before the groundhog day stresses kick in.
From books to beauty, crafts to coffee, running to reading and all the binge-worthy tv we can’t get enough of, it’s safe to say we know the things that always have our back in moments of panic or boredom during lockdown 3.0. Here’s to putting well-being at the top of your daily to-do list. Anyone for a slice of banana bread?
Charlotte
I keep having my ups and downs during lockdown 3.0 (as we all do) but equally I’ve kind of found a rhythm and routine that has kept me sane and busy. One such thing that keeps my weekday evenings exciting is watching season 6 of Married at First Sight Australia. Not only is it super super juicy, but the fact it’s on every night genuinely gives me some structure and something to look forward to, so the TV in my room has been a great investment!
Now would probably be a good time to try and reduce my screen time, but alas that has not been the case. Instead, I’ve been spending a lot of time on TikTok and Instagram, meaning a tripod is quite the essential for me right now. It’s definitely keeping me entertained! Aside from technology, I have been trying to take life a bit slower, read more (one of my new year’s resolutions) and make time for some gentle stretching and yoga so I’ve definitely got my money’s worth from the mat I bought before lockdown 2.0!
This lockdown definitely feels harder and I haven’t wanted to put pressure on myself to be productive or learn a new skill etc. I have found journaling has really helped me this lockdown, putting all my thoughts and feelings on to paper really allows me to work through any negative emotions I am feeling. I’ve also found painting my nails to be so therapeutic and it’s nice to take that time for yourself. Reading and Netflix are also massively getting me through, can’t beat a good book or series! Skipping has also been great for me recently, I only do about 10 mins at a time, but it’s a good source to release some energy. You can do it anywhere too, in a garden, park, even inside, you don’t need any real skill but learning little tricks like crisscrossing is fun!
I think I used up all my productivity in the first 500 lockdowns so I’m giving myself a break and probably just doing some chilling and easy things that I enjoy. Binge Geordie Shore and random football matches. Is it weird that watching a football match that in no way affects my team is my happy place? I’m also going to use this time to get organised for the coming year and set goals so get me all the stationary!
If you mean apart from my Heinz Tomato Soup luncheons, Diet Coke and rewatching Bridgerton for the 5th time, then it has to be books, seafront jogs and daytime baths (quite the lockdown 3.0 revolution). Reading and running are both my go-to stress relievers, whatever is going on. I’ve just added a pair of new running trainers to my birthday wish list actually because both my big toes are currently poking through the pair I have right now. That’s how desperate my toes are to get out the house. One whiff of the great outdoors and they’re breaking free. Along with the rest of the population, I’m also thinking about getting into journaling in the morning ya know, just to help collect my thoughts and ease myself into the day.
Having just moved house I think decorating and researching home bits is definitely getting me through lockdown, I’m glad I’m not spending as much money on board games and colouring pens as I did during lockdown 1.0! There’s so much you need to make a house a home but lighting and texture are key so I’m all about the lovely lamps, cosy throws and fun prints. I’m obsessed with this artwork by a Brighton based artist called Kit Agar it’s in my basket for payday and going over my bed!
One of the main things that’s keeping me sane this lockdown is my DIY at home coffees. I’m trying to stay home as much as physically possible which means I’ve traded in my coffee shop runs for at-home alternatives. I bought a new milk frother which is the absolute bee’s knees and does SO much more than just give you creamy fluffy milk. In terms of coffee, Grind have launched a subscription for their compostable, plastic-free capsules – a much better alternative than the non-recyclable originals. I love making a fancy coffee in my see-through Ikea mugs so you can see all the different layers, it’s just so satisfying!
Spotlight on Chronic Illness – Learning about PCOS & Endometriosis
In this blog post, we shine a light on these under-discussed conditions, their symptoms and the treatment options available.
It is estimated that 1 in 10 people in the UK are currently living with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and Endometriosis. Despite how common both these chronic health conditions are, there’s still a lot of misinformation and stigma surrounding their symptoms and causes.
Many people are misdiagnosed for years, feeling isolated, depressed, ashamed and disconnected from their bodies.
Wrongfully, they’re also often disregarded as not being a serious health issue due to lack of awareness among GPs, leaving many people misdiagnosed for years and feeling isolated, depressed, ashamed and disconnected from their bodies.
In this blog post, we shine a light on these under-discussed conditions, their symptoms and the treatment options available.
What is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome?
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common condition caused by an imbalance of hormones including insulin and excess androgen (referred to as the ‘male’ hormones but these are present in all identities and vital for everyone’s normal reproductive function).
This hormonal imbalance affects how a person’s ovaries function, disrupting ovulation and the menstrual cycle. Each month, the ovaries make and release an egg as part of a healthy menstrual cycle. With PCOS, the high levels of insulin cause the ovaries to produce too much testosterone which interferes with the development of the follicles (the sacs in the ovaries where the eggs develop) and prevents ovulation from taking place as it should.
Symptoms
According to the NHS, more than half of the people affected by PCOS do not experience any symptoms but if they do, these become apparent during late teens / early 20s and can include:
Irregular or infrequent periods
Skin conditions such as oily skin or acne
Unexplained weight gain
Difficulty conceiving due to irregular ovulation
Excessive facial and body hair due to excess androgen (hirsutism)
Thinning hair loss on the scalp
Darkening of the skin particularly around the neck, groin and underneath the breasts
What causes PCOS?
The cause of PCOS is unknown however it is thought to be passed down genetically in families.
Treatment & Diagnosis
PCOS can go undetected for a long time because symptoms can vary from person to person and in some cases, there are no symptoms at all.
A diagnosis is usually made based on symptoms (often irregular or infrequent periods), blood tests and scans. Once diagnosed, you may be treated by your GP or referred to a specialist gynaecologist or endocrinologist to discuss how to best manage your symptoms, the recommended lifestyle changes and any necessary medication that might be right for you.
Although there’s no cure for PCOS, it can be kept in check with symptom-based treatment.
Although there’s no cure for PCOS, it can be kept in check with symptom-based treatment. It can often be treated with birth control pills because they contain hormones that address some of the common symptoms, but everyone’s course of treatment will vary, depending on their individual health risks.
Many people with PCOS manage their symptoms without medical intervention by exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
What is Endometriosis
Endometriosis is the name given to the chronic and often debilitating condition where cells similar to those found in the lining of the womb grow outside of the uterus, such as the ovaries and the fallopian tubes.
These cells react to the menstrual cycle in the same way as those in the womb, shedding and breaking down each month, however, there is no way for this blood to leave the body which can cause inflammation, pain and the formation of scar tissue.
Symptoms
As with PCOS, the symptoms of Endo can vary from person to person. Some people experience mild symptoms, but others have moderate or severe symptoms.
According to the NHS, the main symptoms include:
Pain during or after sex
Pelvic or lower back pain
Severe period pain
Pain when passing urine
Discomfort with bowel movements
Constipation, diarrhoea, nausea or blood in your urine
Difficulty getting pregnant
Heavy periods
Bloating – known as ‘Endo’ belly
What causes Endo?
As with PCOS, the exact cause is unknown but theories do exist. The main one being ‘retrograde menstruation’ whereby the blood flows up the fallopian tubes and embeds itself in the pelvis rather than leaving the body as a period.
Treatment & Diagnosis
Getting a diagnosis can be a lengthy process (7.5 years on average) because the symptoms are similar to other common conditions. It’s classified into one of four stages of severity (I being minimal, IV being severe).
Tests to check for physical signs of Endo include a pelvic exam, ultrasound or MRI.
Tests to check for physical signs of Endo include a pelvic exam, ultrasound or MRI. In some cases, your doctor may refer you for a laparoscopy – an operation in which a camera is inserted into the pelvis via a small incision near the navel. If they see signs of endometriosis they can diagnose the condition and take a biopsy of the tissue for further testing. This is the most definitive way of diagnosing Endo. The surgeon can also perform excision surgery to treat Endo as part of the same diagnosis procedure which can relieve pelvic pain.
Currently, there’s no cure for endometriosis. However, symptom-based treatment can be given to help ease the severity of the pain, slow the growth of the endometriosis tissue and improve the quality of life for the person living with the condition.
When discussing treatment options with your GP, there are several things to consider. Your age, severity of your symptoms, whether you’re planning to start a family and how you feel about surgery.
Treatment usually includes pain relief (for mild cases), hormone medicines and contraceptives or surgery. Your doctor may recommend hormone therapy in combination with pain relief if you’re not trying to conceive.
Hormone-based treatment can include the combined contraceptive pill, patches and vaginal rings to help control the hormones responsible for the growth of endometrial tissue each month.
Hormone-based treatment can include the combined contraceptive pill, patches and vaginal rings to help control the hormones responsible for the growth of endometrial tissue each month. The contraceptive implant, contraceptive injection and Intrauterine Device (IUD) can also inhibit ovulation and the growth of the tissue, which may relieve some of the symptoms.
For those trying to conceive, your doctor may prescribe a gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) to stop the body from making the hormones responsible for ovulation, lower oestrogen and prevent menstruation. This artificial menopause causes the endometrial tissue to shrink. When you stop taking the medicine, your menstrual cycle returns but you have a better chance of conceiving. Both PCOS and Endo desperately need more awareness and funding so that those affected can get the appropriate help, support and treatment.
It’s not in your head, painful, debilitating periods are not normal, your health condition is real and chronic pain deserves validation.
We caught up with Michelle Dinnes who suffers from Endometriosis to understand more about her journey to diagnoses and what her life looks like now…
What first made you aware that you might have endometriosis?
The pain was extreme, I remember phoning my mum on way to the hospital in tears saying I would rather throw myself in front of a car than deal with this pain. Michelle Dinnes
It was the first day of my period in April 2015, I always got lower back pain in the first day or so and just took a few paracetamol to settle it down, I didn’t have any on me while at work and the pain started to become stronger and stronger to a point where I had to leave work and go to the walk-in centre at the hospital. The pain was extreme, I remember phoning my mum on way to the hospital in tears saying I would rather throw myself in front of a car than deal with this pain. I would class that pain as an 8-9 out of 10, for 90 minutes I sat in the hospital wanting to scream because the lower back and stomach pain was so intense it felt like someone had hold of my insides and my spine and was twisting.
Endometriosis has got one of the worst diagnosis records – how long did it take to get a diagnosis?
I have had an awful and not uncommon experience to get diagnosed, after my hospital appointment for my first symptoms I thought okay maybe it was a bad period but when it happened again the month after so I called my GP for an appointment. My appointment went well and I was referred to gynaecology, I went on to have an internal and external scan which showed clear (very normal for endometriosis), I had blood tests done that came back clear. I can’t remember when this was but I have a feeling it was April 2016 I was offered a procedure called a laparoscopy, this is a minor procedure that is done under anaesthetic to have a camera inserted to detect if there is any endometriosis, as I never had an operation I was apprehensive so asked if I could think about it, this was okay and had 6 weeks to decide.
A year later a friend told me about her endometriosis, so many of her symptoms were similar to mine so I decided to start the whole process againMichelle Dinnes
2 weeks later I made the call to agree to the procedure only to be told I was not on the hospital system, I was so upset and just gave up. A year later a friend told me about her endometriosis, so many of her symptoms were similar to mine so I decided to start the whole process again, this time with a very unhelpful gynaecologist. I had the scans etc only to be told there was nothing wrong and the gynaecologist didn’t believe my symptoms and didn’t want to help any further, I argued my way into having further tests however they all came back clear.
In October 2018 I had a scan of my bladder due to what I believed were constant UTI’s (turns out now that it was just due to my endo) there they found a small 5cm cyst on my right ovary. December 2018 I had another gynaecology appointment, this is where my gynaecologist told me there is nothing wrong with me and period pains are normal, painful sex is normal and cramps between period are normal (I am just going to add NONE of this is NORMAL) after telling her over and over that I suspect I have endometriosis she was refusing to put me forward for the procedure, this argument turned into a full-on screaming match which I then won, I was put in for the procedure and on 11th June 2019, I was officially diagnosed with endometriosis and adenomyosis.
Tell us a bit about the post-diagnosis process – did you have a positive experience with your GP / gynaecologist?
Since being diagnosed though things haven’t been much better, I have had every symptom possible now occur, I had to eventually seek and pay for private help as 14 months after my diagnosis I had not been seen and I was becoming worse. I found a lovely male gynaecologist who told me exactly what I was entitled to and my options. October 2020 comes and I see my NHS gynaecologist who told me she would not put me forward to have the endometriosis removed (this is only temporary as endo grows back) and she would only help further after a year of trying for children, wrote me a prescription for folic acid, discharged me and sent me on my way.
I am now booked in for an MRI scan to see where the endo has spread and when possible I will have the operation to have the current endo removed to try to conceiveMichelle Dinnes
Now endometriosis is well known for causing infertility and me and my partner are not yet ready for children so that was a big slap in the face, from then I contacted my GP and told them I wanted an appointment with the gynaecologist I saw privately as he does NHS appointments, took 3 wrong attempts but eventually I got an appointment with that gynaecologist, after seeing him I am now booked in for an MRI scan to see where the endo has spread and when possible I will have the operation to have the current endo removed to try to conceive once my partner and I are married.
Endo belly is just one painful reality of living with endometriosis, how do you manage your symptoms? (Treatment, lifestyle) managing symptoms can be a difficult one especially since some days I can take a few painkillers and rest and then there are days where I am in bed with 2 hot water bottles taking the strongest painkillers I have as often as is allowed to try and keep the pain at bay. The best thing is just listening to my body, I need to rest, I need my hot water bottles and my painkillers.
What is a typical day in the life of someone living with this condition?
I could go deep into this but based on my own experiences every day is different, I am very fortunate that some days I can go about my day and get on with things as if nothing is wrong, more often than not though that isn’t the case. Most days I am going about my day with my stomach cramping up, I am tired from the fatigue and the brain fog is awful. Most my days are spent being uncomfortable, in some sort of pain and being tired however somewhere along the way its become my normal and I just get on with it, keeping in mind these are the better days. The bad days are where I am in bed or on the sofa in so much pain I don’t know what to do with myself and using hot water bottles and pain killers.
What’s the biggest misconception about Endo?
There are a few but the most common one would be that a hysterectomy is a cure, there is no cure for endometriosis. Some people are lucky and have experienced less or no symptoms after having one then there are the ones who aren’t so lucky and still have all the symptoms. Endometriosis can occur anywhere in the body and no just the uterus therefore removing the uterus does not cure it.
Another misconception is that having a baby will cure itMichelle Dinnes
Another misconception is that having a baby will cure it, some people have found that their symptoms have become easier after having a baby and then there’s some who have not been as fortunate, I have actually had 2 people at work tell me their friends cured there’s by having a baby, I’ve even had a gynaecologist tell me this which honestly shocked me that they are giving such hugely false information.
How has Endo affected your mental health as well as your physical health?
I have had depression and anxiety since a young age but feel the endometriosis has contributed to this, sometimes I will sink into my depression when things with my endometriosis are bad, I find it affects my anxiety more so though as when I try explaining things to people I start wondering if they think I’m lying or exaggerating or especially when I’ve had to call in sick for work that they don’t believe I am as bad as I say.
What’s the hardest thing about having an invisible, often misunderstood condition?
The hardest thing is the doubt it puts in your mind, you have to talk to people about it, you have to explain it to your managers at work and I could look fine but be in extreme pain and there’s me saying I need to go home from work. There’s trying to explain to medical professionals what you’re going through and not knowing exactly what words to use or what exactly to say to get through to them how it is. The worst thing is people having the misconceptions so just shrug it off like oh well it’ll be fine once you’ve had children, or the yeah I get really painful periods too. No one can really understand conditions until they have it or they can see it.
What do you think needs to be done to drive awareness, education and change?
Conditions such as mine should be taught in sex education at school because I did not know anything about any conditions until I started realising what I had, we should not go through life thinking that painful periods, heavy periods etc are normal.
What does having Endo mean to you?
It means spending a lot of my time getting the right medical care, most of my journey has been me telling doctors and gynaecologists what I need and then has been a fight to get it. Endometriosis is spending most of your life in pain and just having to learn to live with it. I hope I’ve answered that questions correctly, that was kind of a hard one.
What’s your go-to self-care ritual?
Personally, I have found regular exercise has helped me as well as eating healthier and cutting out meat and dairy. Having a chronic illness isn’t just about having days where you relax and do nothing is about listening to your body and trying new things until you find something that helps you.
Something you’d like all Endo warriors to know…
Endo warriors/sisters you are not alone, we are all in this together and we are all here for each other. Some days we feel like we want to give up or can’t keep going but we have got through it this far and that shows how extremely strong we are, we can keep going we have got this!
In the spirit of Kate Nash and the importance of strong foundations, the skeleton of your wardrobe is where it’s at for guaranteeing you never have another ‘I have nothing to wear’ moment again.
In the spirit of Kate Nash and the importance of strong foundations, the skeleton of your wardrobe is where it’s at for guaranteeing you never have another ‘I have nothing to wear’ moment again. And whilst it might seem boring to invest in the neutral, plainer items that don’t thrill you as much as a funky leopard print number, nailing the basics gives you the option to switch in trend-led items quicker than you can press ‘add to cart’- now that’s savvy shopping if we ever did see it!
Depending on your individual style preferences, the exact essentials you opt for may differ, but regardless, your basic items will serve to compliment your personal style as it grows both through trends and general lifestyle changes.
Depending on your individual style preferences, the exact essentials you opt for may differ, but regardless, your basic items will serve to compliment your personal style as it grows both through trends and general lifestyle changes. Not only will nailing your wardrobe essentials help you to get dressed more efficiently on a busy morning (oh for the days when we used to leave the house), but it will also help you cut down on the £40 here and £60 there high-street orders that happen every once in a while but never seem to add much va-va-voom to your rail …
It really is as simple as that! Jeans that hug you perfectly, classic tops that can be layered or worn alone all year round, timeless outerwear in the form of a trench or leather jacket, white shirts that can be dressed up or down, ankle boots, trainers and heels you know you won’t need to buy Compeed for, and you’re well on your way to capsule wardrobe perfection!
Come On In, The Water’s Lovely! The Benefits Of Winter Swimming
With more and more people stoically dipping their toes into the hobby, we thought we’d look into the key benefits of bracing an outdoor dip.
Whilst submerging yourself in 10-degree water might not be everyone’s idea of winter fun, cold water swimming has surged in popularity during the pandemic so much so, it’s become something of a lockdown cliché with everyone wanting a bit of this natural high.
Water, particularly the sea, has a way of reminding us that we’re all part of something much bigger than us
For many people, cold water swimming has provided a sense of solace and escapism during a time when everything on land went a tad tits up. Water, particularly the sea, has a way of reminding us that we’re all part of something much bigger than us and that whatever personal challenges are ahead of us or behind us, it’s comforting to know the existential problems we face are quite literally a drop in the ocean.
With more and more people stoically dipping their toes into the hobby, we thought we’d look into the key benefits of bracing an outdoor dip.
It’s group therapy
Whether you’re wild swimming in lakes, sea swimming or putting in the lengths at your local lido, there’s a great sense of community and camaraderie amongst cold water swimmers.
The aim here is to tend to your wellbeing and enjoy the profound effect that swimming outdoors has on your mental health.
You’re all there for your own reasons but you’re all rooting for one another and that shared experience can be transformative for your mind, body and soul. No one’s interested in competitive swimming or smashing PBs, the aim here is to tend to your wellbeing and enjoy the profound effect that swimming outdoors has on your mental health. That’s it. Bottom line.
From letting go of your inhibitions and dicking about with your pals for a few minutes to sinking a cup of tea on the beach in that blissful post-swim euphoria, a lot of the benefits of winter swimming happen outside the water as much as in it.
The mental calm & clarity
Being in the water, particularly when it’s cold, fosters here-and-now-thinking because your brain has limited bandwidth to think about anything other than the sensation of the cold water and its natural stress response. It anchors you in the moment and offers mental clarity as well as physical weightlessness, which is why it’s arguably one of the best ways to switch off, de-stress and enjoy a 10/10 digital detox. So, to summarise, blue views should be available on prescription.
Image Credit: @LareeseCraig
It’s great for your circulation
Swimming in cold water causes our heart to pump more blood to our organs, increasing blood flow throughout the body, flushing out toxins and improving circulation.
It boosts your immune system
The initial shock of entering the water kick starts the body’s stress reaction, triggering an increase in white blood cells and boosting your immune system. On regularly immersing yourself in cold water, your body becomes even better at activating that shock defence.
The blue buzz is electric
There’s one consistent and indescribable benefit you’ll hear every cold water swimming evangelist waxing lyrical about and that’s the great buzz.
For many, the feeling of being in contact with the water can evoke memories of free-spirited days spent on the beach as a child, for others it can offer relief from emotional or physical trauma and pain, either way you don’t need to be the next Wim Hof ice man to believe that the blue mind hype is real.
Betty Lewis-Griffiths, a trainee breath facilitator and Brighton mermaid, started sea swimming regularly last year and never stopped. It’s since become her go-to energy shaker, offering her year-round equilibrium, joy and peace.
Coldwater swimming helps me feel grounded because what better way than connecting with the elements than being in them! In the same way that a walk in the woods is soothing and gives you a fresh lease of life, cold water swimming injects me with life and I feel like I can do anything afterwards (once I’ve warmed up!). It makes me feel all the emotions. There isn’t anything that compares. I feel alive, at peace, grateful, full of love and deeply connected to nature. When you’re swimming in the sea into the horizon with the sun setting, there is no other feeling like it and everything else just melts away for those moments.
Betty Lewis-Griffiths
Well, that’s us sold!
Image Credit: @LareeseCraig
The mental challenge is exhilarating
It’s cold water. Of course it will be chilly but that’s as bad as it gets, right? Once you break through that mental wall, you can quite matter of fact about the idea of willingly getting your body in the water for a few minutes, which then unlocks this huge sense of achievement and fulfilment once you’ve proved to yourself that you’re resilient and capable of pushing through discomfort.
How to stay safe when cold water swimming
Chilly water swimming can be restorative, healing, invigorating, joyful and everything in between but it is not without its risks, especially if you’re trying it for the first time.
Knowing your limits, staying safe, understanding the hazards and preparing with layers, a hot water bottle, a woolly hat, neoprene booties and a steaming flask of tea is key.
Acclimatise to the temperature gradually by easing your body in slowly and in a controlled manner
Avoid jumping or diving into the water as this can cause cold water shock and gasping of breath. Acclimatise to the temperature gradually by easing your body in slowly and in a controlled manner, always allow your breathing to settle before swimming and stay in the shallows where you can touch the floor or get out if you need to.
Everyone’s cold tolerance and swimming ability is different, depending on how much sleep you’ve had, what you’ve eaten that day, stress and recent acclimatisation, so don’t compete with what other people can endure. Stay in your lane!
Always check tide times and conditions ahead of swimming – the sea will dictate if you can swim or not. Sometimes wave bathing on the shoreline (or pilcharding as it’s known locally) is just as exhilarating as a full swim.
If you get into difficulty in the water, remember the ‘float to live’ survival advice – fight your instincts to flap in the water, get onto your back, extend your arms and legs into a star fish position until you can control your breath before calling for help or swimming to safety, if possible.
Image Credit: @LareeseCraig
How to warm up after your swim
Afterdrop refers to the physiological response to being in cold water. When you swim, your body shuts down circulation to your skin and pools warm blood in your core to help you stay in the water for longer. As you emerge from the water and start to warm up, blood starts to recirculate and your core temperature drops which can lead to shivering, hyperthermia and dizziness.
Throw on lots of layers promptly including a hat and gloves and heat your core with a hot drink and a sugary snack.
Your body temperature will continue to drop for up to 10 minutes once you’re out the water so, dry off by patting your skin rather than rubbing, throw on lots of layers promptly including a hat and gloves and heat your core with a hot drink and a sugary snack. Lots of experienced cold water swimmers also swear by Haramaki, a traditional Japanese core-warmer.
To minimise the risk of afterdrop, remove wet layers asap, get dressed immediately and, as tempting as it is, resist the urge to jump straight under a hot shower when you’re home as this can draw the warm blood away from your core at speed, leading to rapid-cooling as your body temperature and blood pressure drops.
If you have a heart condition or asthma, it’s best to sit this one out and get back in when summer rolls around.
Will you be getting your cold water fix this winter?
A total sweetheart who makes content that guarantees to draw a smile, few online content creators are as charismatic and engaging as Mark Ferris. We caught up about how he's managed to stay so motivated over three lockdowns and find out what he's currently working on...
First of all, Happy New Year! What are you looking to get out of 2021?
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’m just hoping that this year we can get back to normality and that I get to see my friends more. And that everyone stays safe💘
Can you talk us through your career online and how it’s evolved?
Well, I started off filming fun challenges on my channel 5 years ago and to this day I still love doing exactly that. I don’t think my channel has really evolved. However, me as a person has! I’m definitely more open & honest & carefree!
Can you tell us a bit more about what content you create and upload on which platform?
I think when I first started I was very ‘challenge’ heavy content-wise on YouTube, then I went down the more chilled sit-down type of videos advice/story times/q&as, then I moved on to vlogs, and now I focus more on the challenges again because they keep me the most active and I love them. I’ve also started to daily vlog (sort of) on Instagram more! I just find the immediate connection I can have with viewers just amazing!
What are your top tips for staying motivated during the pandemic?
DONT PUT PRESSURE ON YOURSELF! Remember that we’re all going through it together and reach out for help if you need it. I always recommend getting up earlier than your alarm goes off! Make a little to-do list the night before. Get as much fresh air as you can. Focus on the hobbies and things that make you happy and inspired. And if you feel up to it; try something new🥲
A lot of our audience will know that you are Zoe’s best friend, how have you two managed your friendship this year without being able to see each other in the same way?
We text endlessly haha! We’re always sending each other something that’s funny or something that reminds us of each other. Obviously, we’ll do check-ins with each other to see how we’re getting on. We like to recommend each other shows & movies and we often send clips from our videos together to lol at haha! Also a LOT of voice notes!
What would you say is your biggest achievement to date?
I think the fact that I accomplished what I set out to be after Uni! Never did I think I’d meet the friends I have and get the most perfect audience! It’s insane & cringe but I’m definitely living my dream!
What are you currently working on?
My mental health haha! Making sure I’m putting me first in situations & looking after myself! Also, fingers crossed a couple of things come true for this summer which I can’t mention yet- SORRY
Who are some of your favourite follows online?
I love being nosey with my friends obvs and seeing what they’re up too! OBSESSED with interior design & life hack pages!
If you weren’t an online content creator what do you think you’d be doing for a living?
I’d love to be a party planner organiser! For sure! Just sitting down with people and organising parties and events! There’s still time 😉
What do you always carry with you?
My inhaler, anti-bac, lip balm and some sort of fragrance😂
What does your perfect weekend look like?
It used to be pre-drinks with mates and hit the clubs haha, now it’s a cosy bath, Netflix and takeaway and a new set of jams
If you could only eat one meal again what would it be?
Fully loaded Nachos! Key to my heart!
If you could give one positive message to our followers what would it be?
