If you’ve ever found yourself asking: 'Hey Siri how to wear a hat without feeling like a plonker?', here’s a blog post on how to do just that, as demonstrated by Emily In Paris and her perfectly chic la tête.
Ok Emily In Paris, you win at hats.
If you haven’t already inhaled the 10-part Netflix series starring Lily Collins as the titular Emily, you have more self-control than us.
The hit show follows the 20-something American it girl, Emily Cooper, as she lands her dream social media marketing job in the city of love. When she arrives in Paris for her new adventure, she navigates a new home, a promotion, a frosty boss and a love triangle with a hot chef who lives downstairs from her apartment. There’s drama, humour and plenty of Instagramable hangouts but the real pièce de résistance of the series is Emily’s lust-worthy wardrobe. Specifically, her hat wardrobe. Consider us #influenced.
Not only did she pull of le beret (when in Paris!) she also made us all want to emulate her Pink Kangol bucket hat too, proving that she does indeed have a superior head for hats.
So, if you’ve ever found yourself asking: ‘Hey Siri how to wear a hat without feeling like a plonker?’, here’s a blog post on how to do just that, as demonstrated by Emily In Paris and her perfectly chic la tête.
Confidence
The key to wearing any remotely out-there accessory is confidence. If you treat what’s on your head like an awkward parrot, it’s going to look like an awkward parrot. Make sense? Stand by your sartorial choices and own it. Haters gonna hate.
Know your angles
This one is quite beret-specific since it’s a hat that can be worn straight on, tilted, more towards the back or up front, everyone’s different, so play around with different angles and figure out what best suits your face shape and hairstyle.
Image credit: @WishWishWish
Save the inspo
Half the battle is knowing where to begin with styling a hat, which is why saving any inspo as you see it appear in your grid can be a massive help on those days when you’re having a creative outfit block.
From bucket hats in contemporary colourways to minimal toppers, here are a few of our favourite fashion faces serving us hat lewks for days.
Credit @thelittlemagpie
Credit @sarahshabacon
Credit @withameliataylor
Credit @karenbritchick
Credit @candicebrathwaite
Credit @amaka.hamelijnck
Credit @erica_davies
Credit @thelittlemagpie
Credit @alexisforeman
Credit @thelittlemagpie
Credit @bubblyaquarius
Credit @wolfcubwolfcub
Credit @Francescaperks
Credit @jessicaskye
Credit @withloveyossy
Take a style cue from the weather
On those halcyon blue-sky days, opt for a wide brim straw hat and a milkmaid dress. For Winter, a thick wool beanie paired with an oversized trench, jeans and chunky boots or trainers does the job for a coffee stop or a chilly morning dog walk. For all other weathers, the versatile beret is the quickest way to level-up your favourite denim & knitwear combo, plus it’s a sure-fire way to turn a bad hair day, chic.
Go off duty with a baseball cap
The baseball cap is cut from the same cloth as dad trainers and grandad vests – it’s not going to be everyone’s sartorial cuppa but for those off-duty denim days, there’s no greater accessory for elevating low key separates or dressing down your tailoring a la Hayley Bieber. She makes a strong case for the athleisure topper in her Princess Diana inspired blazered ensemble, for her Vogue editorial. The oversized blazer, sweater & boots combo = iconic.
Play with colour & texture
You don’t have to stick to the classic felt beret in neutral tones, hats have seriously diversified their game since Clueless’ Cher Horowitz era. Now they come in all kinds of contemporary textures and colourways, from vinyl-look leather, corduroy and tie dye iterations. Have fun with it!
The boxy and masculine fit of a shacket makes it perfect for both finishing off an already androgynous look, as well as toughening up a feminine dress or maxi skirt.
The potential of the shirt and jacket hybrid knows no bounds
Halloween, cosy nights in and fluffy pyjamas are just a few of our favourite simple pleasures during autumn, topped off by this year’s shacket trend which makes the transition from kinda cold, chilly, crisp to freezing a little easier. The potential of the shirt and jacket hybrid knows no bounds, adding a practical element to your look by providing a welcome, warm layer, as well as gaining you some Instagram approved style points.
The boxy and masculine fit of a shacket makes it perfect for both finishing off an already androgynous look, as well as toughening up a feminine dress or maxi skirt. Whilst shackets are available in endless colourways and prints, the classic check is a style that will stand the test of time for many autumn/winters to come! Now all you need to do is decide which one to add to basket.
With cinemas largely off-limits, streaming services are on top of their movie game this year, with plenty of slashers and psychological thrillers available to watch in just a few clicks.
Since most of us will be blessing Halloween from home this year, there’s even more reason to get those scary movies queued up, ready to go.
The logic is this: subject yourself to so much fictional terror that by the time you have to face the real world again, it won’t seem quite so horrifying
The pandemic has changed the way we partake in all the classic holiday festivities but what better way to take your mind off the current state of the world than to watch a bunch of fright night films? The logic is this: subject yourself to so much fictional terror that by the time you have to face the real world again, it won’t seem quite so horrifying in comparison. It’s a tenuous coping mechanism but there we have it.
With cinemas largely off-limits, streaming services are on top of their movie game this year, with plenty of slashers and psychological thrillers available to watch in just a few clicks. So, dim the lights, lock the doors and get in the Halloween spirit with these freaky films, available to stream on Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video and more.
Malevolent (2018)
Florence Pugh is a must-watch in this vicious slice of horror, based on the novel Hush by E. M. Blomqvist. The movie follows two fake ghost hunters who fake paranormal encounters for cash but they end up getting more than they bargained for. They messed with the devil and then they got the horns. Yikes.
Where to watch: Netflix
The Witches (1990)
A young boy, recently orphaned, is taken to England by his grandmother. At a hotel where they are staying, a group of witches have gathered to prepare a plot to rid England of all children. PS: When the Grand High Witch removes her wig, you better be ready. You’ve been warned. You can ‘rent’ the newest version featuring Anne Hathaway on prime video!
Where to watch: Netflix
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
A remake of Wes Craven’s 80s classic. Good luck getting to sleep after you’ve met the razor-fingered child-murderer that is Freddy Krueger. Shudder.
Available to watch: Netflix
House of The Witch (2017)
A group of daring high school kids venture inside an abandoned house on Halloween and they probably definitely immediately regretted it.
Where to watch: Netflix
The Conjuring (2013)
It wouldn’t be Halloween without a bit of paranormal phenomena, would it now? Prepare to leave the lights on in the hallway for a good week or two.
Where to watch: Netflix
Annabelle (2014)
Annabelle is no ordinary doll because this is a horror movie and only demonic playthings will do.
Where to watch: Netflix
The Omen (2006)
Released 44 years ago, The Omen is still one of the greatest horror films of all time. They just don’t make ‘em like this anymore. Three words: The. Dog. Scene! Jesus take the wheel.
Where to watch: Hulu
Night Of The Living Dead (1990)
A remake of George A. Romero’s 1968 horror. Expect amplified gore and a legion of flesh-eating zombies.
Where to watch: Prime Video
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Ok, so it’s not the scariest of the bunch but anyone with sharp metal shears for hands deserves a place on this list. No regrets.
Where to watch: Disney+
Curse of Chucky (2013)
That heinous possessed doll is up to his old tricks again.
Where to watch: Netflix
The Cabin In The Woods (2012)
Five friends go to a secluded cabin in the woods. Bad things happen. It’s a familiar story and you think you know what happens, but this time you really don’t. Horror with a protective layer of tongue-in-cheek humour.
Where to watch: Hulu & Prime Video
Get Out (2017)
An absolute game-changer from the genius that is Jordan Peele. This genre-defying social thriller is proof that you don’t always need a ghost to be scary.
Where to watch: Prime Video
The Purge (2013)
From the producer of Paranormal Activity, comes a dystopian horror franchise with The Purge being the first (and arguably the best) instalment. For a 12-hour period every year, the U.S. government sanctions all criminal activity, including murder. How far will people go to protect themselves?
Where to watch: Prime Video
Midsommar (2019)
A carefree Summer holiday takes a sinister turn…
Where to watch: Prime Video
Would You Rather (2013)
Desperate to help her ill brother, a young woman agrees to take part in a deadly parlour-game of Would You Rather, hosted by a sadistic millionaire. Gulp. To lift a quote straight from the movie, this is “decision making in its rawest form.”
Where to watch: Netflix
Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Jodie Foster is a triumph in what remains to be one of the most critically acclaimed horror movies of all time. FBI agent, Clarice Starling (Foster), must seek help from imprisoned cannibal Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) in order to catch another serial killer known as Buffalo Bill. It’s classic fright-night viewing.
Where to watch: Prime Video & Hulu
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
An underrated masterpiece. Three students vanish in the Maryland forest while filming a documentary about the Blair Witch legend, leaving only their footage behind. You’ll need to give those once-charming forest walks a wide berth after this.
Where to watch: Prime Video
What’s on your fright night movie list this Halloween?
Amy McCulloch is an author, editor and part-time adventurer. Amy has co-written The Magpie Society with Zoe Sugg which launches this week! Find out how Amy has worked her way through her career and how is handling 2020 so far.
First of all, how are you and how are you coping in 2020?
Oh, 2020. First of all, thank you for asking! I am okay, and I am hanging in there. I live alone, so I’ve spent a lot of time in isolation, which – even for this self-proclaimed introvert – has been a challenge. On the other hand, I know I am lucky: I am healthy, and I have a job I love that enables me to work from home safely. Working on the first book in The Magpie Society series has given me something to focus on creatively, and Zoe and I have adapted well to working together-but-separately. I also welcomed Moose, my cavalier King Charles spaniel, into my life in June, and he has been an absolute lifesaver. Nothing like puppy snuggles to turn a bad year around.
Tell us about how you got into writing?
I actually can’t remember a time that I wasn’t writing! When I was eight, I wrote a short story about getting out on the wrong side of bed in the morning, and it’s like the stories haven’t stopped since then. My favourite genres to read have always been sci-fi and fantasy, starting with the worlds of Narnia and Middle Earth, so writing fantasy was always my first love. As someone who is mixed race (Chinese-White), I struggled to find stories that represented my diverse background and experience. So I realized that if I wanted to read about characters like me in the type of books I liked … I’d have to write them.
What did the start of your journey to publication look like?
I actually never believed that I would be published! It seemed like such a pipe dream. I submitted my first novel to literary agents while I was at university and was rejected by absolutely everyone. However, since reading and writing was my passion, I decided a career in publishing might be a good fit for me. I moved to London from Canada and got a job as an editorial assistant at a tiny indie publishing house.
I still held on to that dream of one day seeing my own book on the shelves… so I wrote and revised my novel every spare moment that I had. I submitted to agents again and this time, I was successful! I signed with the amazing Juliet Mushens of Mushens Entertainment (as her first-ever client!) and she sold my first book – the one that had been rejected by everyone – to Random House Children’s Publishing. It was a literal dream come true. It launched in 2013, and I’ve published a book a year since then.
Tell us about some of your work that our audience might not know about!
The Magpie Societyrepresents the first time I’ve written something other than sci-fi and fantasy! So hello Zoella audience-members, if you’re into speculative fiction about non-white characters with plenty of action and adventure, I have some books for you:
The Potion Diariestrilogy (now with a snazzy new cover) is a modern, magical YA series. We’re talking a whole load of adventure, chemistry, magical creatures, a dash of LGBTQ romance – perfect if you like Sarah J Maas, Meg Cabot or Rainbow Rowell.
Jinxedis a near-future YA sci-fi duology featuring a kick-ass teen female engineer, her master-coder best friend and a super snarky robot cat. This might suit you if you like Ernest Cline’s Ready Player One, Marissa Meyer’s Cinder or Marie Lu’s Warcross.
The Oathbreaker’s Shadowand its sequel were my first books! They’re YA epic fantasy set in a desert world; think shadowy magic, swords and broken promises, in the style of Dune or A Game of Thrones.
How long have you known Zoe and how did your friendship start?
Zoe and I have known each other since 2014! Six years now – wow, time flies. I was the editorial director for Penguin Children’s books when we met, and had been following Zoe’s vlogs for ages. When she wanted to write her first book, Girl Online, I became her editor. Over the many years of working on the Girl Online books together, we became really great friends too. She’s seen me through some of the most tumultuous times in my life; I’m so lucky to have her as a friend – and I’m glad fate (and books) brought us together!
When did you start thinking about writing together?
While we were working together on the second Girl Online book, we bonded over a shared love of true crime and Pretty Little Liars. We thought it would be so much fun to write a UK-based twisty thriller book series together. It took a while for all the pieces to come together, but eventually… The Magpie Society was born.
What was it like having someone to write with and how did you work together on The Magpie Society: One For Sorrow?
Writing is such a solitary activity normally that I love having a co-author! It’s great to have someone to bounce ideas off of, and we always push each other to see how dark we can take the story! Once we plot out the entire novel together, it’s then easy for us to divide the work as we write the novel from the point of view of two different characters. Zoe writes all the Ivy chapters, and I write all the Audrey chapters. We then share with each other and make sure it all makes sense together. COVID-19 has meant a lot of the work has been done over FaceTime and WhatsApp voice notes, but we make it work!
What are you currently working on?
Zoe and I are working on Two for Joy – the next book in The Magpie Society series. And I’ve also been tinkering away at my first adult novel, a thriller inspired by my mountaineering adventures (in addition to writing, I love going to the mountains: in 2019, I became the youngest Canadian woman to climb the world’s eighth highest mountain in Nepal!). It’s something completely different to anything I’ve written before, and I’m really enjoying it.
What are some of the best books you’ve read this year?
I found reading during lockdown really hard – I just couldn’t concentrate and I ended up watching a lot of TV instead! I’ve actually really missed it. However, there have been a few gems in 2020 that blew me away – and the Zoella Book Club helped a lot! Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid was a highlight, as was Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge. I also really enjoyed After the Silence by Louise O’Neill for a gripping psychological thriller, Harrow Lake by Kat Ellis for the creepiest YA horror I think I’ve ever read, and Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan for a sumptuous epic fantasy with added Sapphic romance.
What do you always carry with you?
Always: Phone, notebook, pen, keys
New for 2020: Facemask (I splurged on a set from Liberty and I love them so much) and dog treats
What does your perfect weekend look like?
A drive out of London to the hills – Snowdonia or the Lake District – to hole up in a cosy Airbnb with the puppy, breaking out the OS maps and heading out on a long hike somewhere beautiful, punctuated by lunch, afternoon tea and dinner in the cutest cosy pubs. Add in a warm fire and a great book, and you have the recipe for my perfect weekend.
If you could only eat one meal again what would it be?
A roast chicken dinner, with all the trimmings. If we could throw in a sticky toffee pudding for dessert, I’d be set.
If you could give one positive message to our followers what would it be?
COVID-19 has turned our world upside down and put intense amounts of stress on every aspect of our lives. Don’t feel guilty about escaping into that TV series, that video game, or that book for a few hours. Art will help us find a way through.
If you have any pie crust dough leftover, here’s the perfect use-it-all-up recipe that just so happens to make a next-level snack or thanksgiving treat.
We’re all in agreement that the pie crust is the best bit, yes? The flaky, buttery pastry is mwah (chef’s kiss), whilst the filling is just an extra in the play. A hanger-on, begging for a slice of the limelight.
Easy, autumnal, could be a pudding, could be a breakfast cereal – eat enough of these dreamy fall chips and 2020 will almost redeem itself.
If you have any pie crust dough leftover, here’s the perfect use-it-all-up recipe that just so happens to make a next-level snack or thanksgiving treat. Easy, autumnal, could be a pudding, could be a breakfast cereal – eat enough of these dreamy fall chips and 2020 will almost redeem itself. Serve fresh from the oven with a warm bowl of cinnamon dip and you’ll die happy, beleaf us.
SERVES
PREP:
15 MINS COOK:
10 MINS
EASY
INGREDIENTS
Ingredients
For the Pie Crust Chips
One sheet of shortcrust pastry
1 tablespoon of cinnamon
2 tablespoons of brown sugar
For a pumpkin spice dip
250g of cream cheese
1/2 teaspoon of pumpkin spice mix
Icing sugar
For a cinnamon dip
250g cream cheese
1/2 teaspoon of cinamon
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
Icing sugar
Roll out your pastry to a quarter of an inch thickness and cut out your festive shapes. We used autumn leaves but Christmas shapes would look lovely too!
Sprinkle over your cinnamon and sugar and then bake for 8-10 minutes at 220°C on a baking tray lined with greaseproof paper.
For the dips simply stir in all the ingredients for each and pop into a bowl for serving. Add as much icing sugar as you’d like if you prefer it sweeter. You can also pop the dips in the microwave for 40 seconds if you’d like them warm.
Whilst the need to transfer a look from desk to disco may have declined ever so slightly in 2020, we're still head over heels for the staple items that work interchangeably to pull together multiple looks with ease.
Whilst the need to transfer a look from desk to disco may have declined ever so slightly in 2020, we’re still head over heels for the staple items that work interchangeably to pull together multiple looks with ease. Whether it be day to night, serious to sultry, casual to … more casual (thanks 2020) bulking out your wardrobe multipurpose pieces is an easy way to avoid going OTT on a payday haul and channel a more sustainable and long term approach to shopping new.
And it doesn’t have to be boring! Finding pieces that work with multiple looks doesn’t mean you have to stick with neutral tones and classic shapes. When you find a hero piece you adore, there are tonnes of ways to wear it consistently and differently without feeling like you’re making too much of a statement, it just comes down to finding the right one for YOUR style.
Lareese Look 1
I’m dressing from the bottom up, starting with some classic knee boots. They’re a really hardworking piece of footwear to have in your wardrobe, especially during the winter months and can help make a plain outfit look that little bit more put-together. I love how knee boots look with an oversized coat and loads of texture, so I’ll be styling them with a beret, a shirt dress and as many woolly XXL layers as I can find.
I’ve chosen a sage knitted vest as my key piece, combining my love for grandad knitwear and a pistachio colour palette which are oh so popular right now. I’ve gone for a fun and playful day time look which I’m picturing wearing for a bottomless brunch, as well as a more chic and Parisian all-black ensemble which I think would be perfect for an evening dinner date or drinks. I have done a lot of retail therapy recently and I want to add EVERYTHING to basket rn.
I recently bought a pair of imitation leather trousers so I’ve picked them for my one product in the hopes that they won’t sit in my wardrobe un-worn! For dressed down I’ve gone for a cosy jumper, shacket and these cool lace-up trainer/boot hybrids. For a dressed-up look, I’ve gone with an olive theme and picked this pretty blouse and swing coat with a gorgeous collar as well as these cream boots.
For my item, I thought I’d pick this lovely cream Workwear Shirt from And Other Stories as I think they are always essential in anyone’s wardrobe. I’ve gone for two causal looks as I think it’s more wearable in current times. For my first look, I’ve styled it with a pair of flared tailored trousers, a cream roll neck jumper and some super cute black and cream chunky boots. For my second look, I’ve gone for a more effortless approach, styling the jacket with a pair of slightly cropped black jeans, some super high chunky boots and a beige high neck jumper.
A trend we saw a lot of last autumn/winter that will no doubt make a big come back this year is patterned tights. Thanks to Gucci and Fendi who paved the way for the high street that soon followed, these fun tights can jazz up any outfit and at the rate that they ladder, you might want to stock up on a few cheaper versions before taking the designer plunge. They’re super versatile, let them do all the talking with a simple one-piece and killer heels in the evening or incorporate them into a whole layered look for daytime.
All The Best Beauty Advent Calendars 2020 Has To Offer
Whether you’re browsing for yourself or shopping for the beauty enthusiast in your life, keep reading for the best beauty advent calendars 2020 has to offer.
Opening an advent calendar is one perennial festive tradition we’ll never outgrow. A palm-size gift of utter glee hiding behind a door, a window or nestled into a drawer – it’s genius and it puts us right in the festive feels.
And then there’s (drumroll) a beauty advent calendar.
Sure, chocolate’s great and everything but have you ever had a Huda Beauty Eyeshadow Palette for breakfast? December made.
Re-discover fan favourites, cult classics and buzzy newbies from the best names in beauty, every day in the countdown till Christmas.
Whether you’re browsing for yourself or shopping for the beauty enthusiast in your life, keep reading for the best beauty advent calendars 2020 has to offer. It’s a big decision to make and you have our full support if one turns into three.
Patiently waiting for December 1st to get stuck into this house of treats may prove difficult but it’ll be worth the wait. Jam packed with The Body Shop’s best-sellers and cult faves, including the Vitamin E Moisture Cream and Almond Milk & Honey Body Butter, it’s a no brainer for the beauty junkies in the family. Shop here.
No spoilers but a little birdie tells us Charlotte Tilbury, Tan Luxe, Huda Beauty and Nars might be hiding on the other side of those delightful doors. Oo-er. On Christmas Day, you’ll find not one but three beauty surprises – how about that for festive cheer, then? And, it’s worth over a whopping £275! Ding. Dong. Shop here.
Now here’s an advent calendar with serious sell-out appeal. Enjoy counting down the days to Christmas with 24 signature fragrances, bath & body luxuries and miniature candles. Shop here.
From long-standing favourites and best-sellers to exclusive festive newbies, all gift wrapped in a reusable Mary Poppins carpet bag inspired luggage trunk. It’s nothing short of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Shop here.
L’Occitane has come well prepared for the festivities this year with not one but three advent calendars, each inspired by nature. Now to start the impossible task of narrowing it down to one…
Treat yourself to the Classic Beauty Calendar featuring 24 much-loved L’Occitane body, hair and skincare products. Ready, set, pamper! Shop here for £53.
For a lavish gift with 24 fully stocked drawers containing the best of L’Occitane premium products, there’s the Luxury Beauty Advent Calendar. Shop here for £99.
The gift that keeps on giving – this year, L’Occitane have collaborated with UK illustrator Isla Simpson to create a reusable advent calendar, made from recycled cotton and designed to be adored for many Christmases to come. Shop here for £160.
What better way to celebrate the ritual of Christmas than with 24 moments of pure joy, all wrapped up and tied in a bow. The festive village advent calendar includes a unique selection of mini luxuries to make every day in the run up to the big day a truly special event. It’s the perfect present to give (if you can bear to part with it) or receive! Shop here.
Worth over £500 and full of all the best next-level brands including Pat McGrath, Anastasia Beverly Hills and Byredo, the Selfridge’s beauty advent launch is one of the most hotly anticipated events of the calendar year and when you see the show-stopping treats up for grabs this time around, it’s not hard to see why. The second it’s available to purchase, we’re there with bells on. Shop here.
It’s definitely at the spenny end of the spectrum but wow, what a way to celebrate the start of the holiday season. Steeped in the magical spirit of Dior, brought to life by artist and illustrator Safia Ouares, the calendar depicts a starry night and enchanting scenes from a ballet. Of course, it’s what’s on the inside that really counts and you’ll be pleased to know, the contents are just as spectacular as the aesthetic. Behind each of the 24 doors, a daily gift awaits, spanning the iconic brand’s skincare, fragrance and makeup lines. Shop here.
Full of fan-favourites including Benefit’s classic Hoola Bronzer and Roller Lash Mascara, this holiday haul of minis is the stuff of beauty junkie dreams. Snap. It. Up. Shop here.
The MAC advent calendar is always hot property and this year is no different. Expect plenty of classics like Prep + Prime Fix+ and Russian Red lipstick to get your pout party season ready. The exact release date has been kept tightly under wraps, but you can sign up to be the first to hear when it launches. Shop here.
It wouldn’t be a Christmas countdown without everyone’s favourite makeup artist darling, Charlotte Tilbury. Discover her supercharged glow-giving skincare secrets and award-winning beauty marvels, including her Pillow Talk lipstick and highly praised Magic Cream, all beautifully presented in a bougie bejewelled chest. Gimme. Shop here.
The v popular Space NK Beauty Anthology is back with a second edition. Christmas angels do exist! Tucked behind 24 doors, you’ll find a carefully curated edit of Space NK beauty must-haves. Pamper yourself silly with a full-size Kate Somerville Retinol Vitamin C Moisturiser and Byredo Hand Cream and take a moment to chill with a Layered Christmas Candle by Jo Loves. It’s the ultimate Christmas countdown. Shop here.
Discover a selection of both new and iconic beauty and wellbeing treats behind every drawer c/o John Lewis & Partners. The Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser, By Terry Baume de Rose and Neom Organics London Perfect Night’s Sleep Pillow Mist are just some of the 25 festive treats waiting to be opened. Christmas came early this year. Shop here.
The Net-A-Porter Beauty Advent Calendar is back and we’re all too glad we got the memo. Boasting 13 full size and 12 travel size products from universally loved brands and with a mega value of £1,115, the run up to holiday season just got even better. Shop here.
Candle lovers, hold onto your wicks because this is one lit advent calendar you’re going to want to get your paws on. Enjoy 25 exclusive Diptyque items, including a selection of 11 scented candles (35g), 2 limited edition 2020 creations and a selection of 7 Eaux de Toilette and Eaux de Parfum. So, this is what joyful impatience feels like. Shop here.
Nail fanatics, here’s one for you. Shine bright with a new shade for every day up till Christmas, with 25 mini nail polishes from Gingerbread Man Can to Red-y For The Holidays and Tinsel, Tinsel ‘Lil Star. Merry manicures all round. Shop here.
Containing 26 sought-after products from the Liberty Beauty Hall (18 of which are full-sized), this year’s edit is one of their most covetable yet. Featuring cult favourites from the likes of Le Labo, Votary and Hourglass, beauty buffs will have to get in there quick to avoid disappointment. Go, go, go! Shop here.
It’s estimated that every household will dispose of 3 ½ black bags (approximately 100 million bags) full of packaging this Christmas, so clean planet-friendly beauty counts.
bareMinerals have minimised plastic across their holiday collection, incorporated post-consumer recycled materials and made their gift boxes completely recyclable. A beauty advent calendar with a heart, we love to see it! Shop here.
Bringing together the best of beauty across skincare, makeup and fragrance, Harrods have yet again nailed holiday season. From mini offerings to full-sized surprises all selected from Harrods’ hallowed beauty stalls, it contains everything your post-party season skin could ever want or need. Shop here.
What beauty advent calendar(s) caught your eye? Plural, because it’s been a wild year and Santa appreciates that.
Sweater Vests So Good Your Grandad Will Be Jealous
When it comes to getting dressed in the morning (on that rare occasion we have somewhere to be) combining comfort, style and practicality is the holy trinity for nailing a 10/10 'fit. And with that in mind, we present to you: the humble sweater vest.
When it comes to getting dressed in the morning (on that rare occasion we have somewhere to be) combining comfort, style and practicality is the holy trinity for nailing a 10/10 ‘fit. And with that in mind, we present to you: the humble sweater vest. If you’re a fan of layering then this guy is about to become your new BFF, helping to transform a worse for wear t-shirt, adding some extra padding on a crisp morning, or an androgynous edge to otherwise feminine silhouettes.
From high-end to high-street, you’ll be hard-pressed to scroll ‘new in’ or wander the shops without coming across this trend, and you can also find them second-hand!
You can opt for classic neutral colours, full kitsch, or 80s patterns. There is endless styling potential with a sweater vest in tow. From high-end to high-street, you’ll be hard-pressed to scroll ‘new in’ or wander the shops without coming across this trend, and you can also find them second-hand! Charity shops, eBay bargains, and Depop sellers have authentic, retro, Chandler Bing worthy styles, and we all know those one of a kind finds are worth the extra effort to source.
If it’s good enough for Harry Styles (see iconic sheep knit number), it’s certainly good enough for us!
Get Your Ghoul On: How to Celebrate Halloween at Home this Year
Ready to raise a devilish glass to the tail-end of 2020? Show us one witch who isn’t! Here are a few ideas for how you can make the most of Halloween from home this year.
We’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve said [insert jovial activity here] won’t be the same this year, but Halloweening at home seems like a particularly sorry state of affairs.
No trick or treating or large gatherings (boo), no eerie encounters in your local haunt navigating p*ss poor decorations suspended from windows and doorways, dipping themselves in your pint a little bit. Like Emily In Paris, the Halloween pub crawl was so bad, it was good.
But all is not lost, and Halloween is far from cancelled. The holiday can still be celebrated from home and not suck. In fact, it could be great. Think about it. No paranormal punters – here for it. Happy hour turns into a Happy Night of cheap booze, and no queuing to get served – we love to see it. Your costume can be as pants or as extra as you are willing to make it because you’re just swanning about at home – ok, jomo officially wins.
Ready to raise a devilish glass to the tail-end of 2020? Show us one witch who isn’t! Here are a few ideas for how you can make the most of Halloween from home this year.
Carve pumpkins
Whilst scooping out the innards of a pumpkin may not scream high-key hoot, it’s a classic Halloween activity and this year of all the years, we need to maximise the spirit of the holiday.
Whether you pick up a pumpkin from your local patch or round up a few for the whole family from the supermarket, you’ve ultimately failed at October 31 if you’re not carving out teeth, fondling the pulpy anatomy of a ribbed Winter squash and arguing about whether it’s a fruit or a vegetable. Happy Halloween.
Have a dinner party
Dress your pad up all spooky and invite a few people over for a feast. Just make sure you’re abiding by the rule of six. Pumpkin cannelloni, anyone?
Make a duvet fort, huddle round, grab a torch and spin that hair-raising Bloody Mary yarn.
Have a Halloween movie marathon
For a bit of mellow magic, there’s Hocus Pocus, Coraline and The Nightmare Before Christmas. Yeah, the debate rages on about whether Tim Burton’s stop-motion masterpiece falls into the Halloween or Christmas movie category, but we say it’s a unique hybrid that deserves to be played as soon as the first crispy leaf falls from the tree, right the way through to December.
For high stakes terror, there’s Roald Dahl’s The Witches. It’s still petrifying all these years later and the remake starring Anne Hathaway is set to drop October 26, just in time for Halloween. It will be available to stream on Premium Video On Demand (PVOD), so be there or be scared.
There’s also creepy classics such as The Exorcist, The Sixth Sense and A Nightmare On Elm Street if losing sleep and needing someone to escort you to the toilet in the middle of the night is your thing.
Get your bake on
Move over banana bread, the crown belongs to pumpkin spice latte cake now. Cackles.
Snack like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Skeleton Fingers, Mr Kipling Toffee Terror Whirls, chocolate eyeballs. If it’s got a Halloween pun on the packaging, we’re like putty in those chocolate-makers’ hands.
Make a spooktastic playlist
You shall go to the monsters’ ball. A playlist full of eerie tracks and must-play jams will get you in the Halloween mood. Alexa, play Bette Midler, I Put A Spell On You.
Dress up, still!
Hey, even if you just get someone to throw a stockpiled toilet roll at your head and torso, a half-arsed effort is better than nothing.
Indulge in a bewitching bath
Welcome to the hangover-free club. Ditch the plans and celebrate the spookiest time of the year with a good thriller and a long soak in the tub until you’re wrinklier than the Grand High Witch herself. It’s the ultimate jomo ritual.
Go ghosting
Rule of 6 got you feeling all kinds of trick or treat FOMO? Make up a bag of Halloween-themed treats and leave it on your friend or neighbour’s doorstep.
How will you be celebrating Halloween this year? Got any tricks up your sleeve?
Let’s Talk about Trying to Get Pregnant: Four Women Share Their TTC Journey
We spoke to four women willing to share their TTC stories and offer some first-hand advice and reassurance for anyone trying to conceive.
We spend the best part of our youth doing all we can to avoid getting pregnant but when you’re ready to start a family, it’s not always as simple as coming off the pill & going for it at the right time of the month. It can be one unexpected emotional rollercoaster and a whole lot of effort.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how long it takes to conceive, and everyone’s fertility journey is different.
It is estimated that one in seven couples may have difficulty conceiving. Whether it’s PCOS, low sperm count, endometriosis or unexplained infertility, the struggles of trying to conceive are still rarely spoken about and whilst there can be a whole host of reasons why couples may choose to keep their experience private, knowing what to expect can help debunk preconceived ideas of TTC and help others feel less isolated in the process.
After all, we are the ones peeing on eye-wateringly expensive sticks and feeling completely belittled when our period shows up uninvited, we should at least be able to talk about it.
We spoke to four women willing to share their TTC stories and offer some first-hand advice and reassurance for anyone trying to conceive.
Our very own Maddie, Talent Director at Gleam Futures is currently expecting.
Did you have any preconceived ideas of what the TTC experience would be like based on other people’s stories / things you’d heard?
To be completely honest I was quite pessimistic about the whole thing which is quite unlike me as a personality trait, I just really didn’t think it would be easy for us. I had previously been told by a gynaecologist that I have Polycystic Ovaries (PCO) and it also took me about 2 years to get my period back after coming off the contraceptive pill about 5+ years ago. Those things combined with me being in my 30s (god forbid) I thought meant that it wouldn’t be that straightforward. I’ve also had quite a few people close to me that have really struggled so I was aware that the journey could be a long one.
There’s an assumption that falling pregnant happens pretty quickly, possibly because the majority of people trying to conceive are doing so privately and will only share the news if they become pregnant. How long did it take for you to fall pregnant / how long were you trying to conceive?
Rather miraculously we got pregnant very quickly. We were on our second month of trying when that second line popped up, I was completely shocked and was not expecting it to happen that fast whatsoever.
Did you have any useful tools / apps to help plan your pregnancy and connect with your body?
The app that was often recommended which I used and thought was brilliant is the Ovia Fertility app. It’s brilliant at tracking your cycle and tells you when statistically your most fertile days areMaddie Barsch
I watched A LOT of TTC YouTube videos and took on board a lot of the tips that kept reappearing. The app that was often recommended which I used and thought was brilliant is the Ovia Fertility app. It’s brilliant at tracking your cycle and tells you when statistically your most fertile days are, it’s also full to the brim with information which I found really useful in those early days. In terms of other “tools” I also used ovulation strips, the cheap ones from Amazon which let you know when you’re about to have your “LH” surge ie you’re about to ovulate. Finally, and a little TMI but it’s what we’re here for, I also paid much more attention to my cervical mucus (google it). It turns out that’s also a great indicator for ovulation and I actually found that to be the easiest way to track my most fertile days.
Did you make any lifestyle changes to help improve your chances of getting pregnant?
I took baby making quite seriously and didn’t go into it with a “let’s see what happens” attitude at all. If there was anything I could do to speed the process along I was going to try. Disclaimer, I have no idea if any of these things would have made ANY difference had I not done them but they obviously didn’t hurt. I cut out caffeine and alcohol, started taking folic acid supplements, included maca powder in my morning smoothies, drank raspberry leaf tea during the first half of my cycle and tried to stay as active as possible.
Trying to conceive can be a stressful time emotionally, do you have any pointers for trying to stay positive and relaxed when you’re feeling discouraged?
In all honesty I don’t feel like I have the right to give advice here, I know friends who really had such a difficult time trying to conceive and I saw how frustrating and hard that was for them. I asked one of my good friends who spent over a year trying what she would say and her top tip for when you feel at a low point is to plan a trip. A little getaway (even if that’s just to a hotel an hour from home!) somewhere to just enjoy being with your partner and take your mind off the routine that can become incredibly unromantic.
The commitment to love-making can be a lot and sex can become a bit of a ‘task’ when you’re trying to get pregnant, how did you deal with that / what advice do you have for anyone struggling to connect with their partner and keep things fun?
It definitely feels a bit more routine than normal when you know that there’s a human you’re trying to create out of all the sex and also because the timings of it are so important to get right which normally you would never even consider. On the subject of timings, there’s only really a week window where it’s vital that you’re getting the sperm where it needs to go so once you’ve worked out your ovulation patterns it turns out you don’t need to be having sex all day every day to make a baby. I think knowing this really took the pressure off a bit and it meant that when it was my fertile days we made extra effort to have date nights and enjoy spending time together so it didn’t feel too routine.
One thing you wish you knew at the start of your TTC that you know now…
If I had a crystal ball that could have shown me that we would get pregnant quite quickly I would love to go back and tell myself to worry less and be more chill about it. I was so convinced that it was going to be really hard for me, so I became incredibly clued up on everything to do with TTC. In reality I could probably have relaxed more and just let nature do its thing. I think that’s what’s quite daunting about the whole thing, you have no idea what your journey is going to be like until you start to try.
What NOT to say to someone TTC? (how can friends check in with you without asking the obvious?)
It’s such a personal journey and not everyone is comfortable sharing it so in this instance I would let your friend lead the conversation, not the other way around.Maddie Barsch
The chances are if someone has been trying to conceive for a while there is likely nothing you can tell them that they won’t have already read about, heard from a doctor or considered themselves. So, unless they have asked you for your advice or opinion I wouldn’t offer it. Similarly, I would be cautious of false hope success stories from a friend of a friend that took a magic potion that produced a baby. Instead, I would offer support and find out how they are feeling, it’s such a personal journey and not everyone is comfortable sharing it so in this instance I would let your friend lead the conversation, not the other way around.
How do you deal with a friend’s happy baby news if it hasn’t happened for you, yet?
This must be so difficult. I would of course be so thrilled for my friend and then privately I would probably pour a very large glass of wine, let myself cry and be sad, confide in my closest and surround myself with people and things that bring my life joy (like my dog). It breaks my heart that some people struggle so much and often are struggling in silence as infertility and fertility problems are still something that don’t get talked about enough. I really loved Desi Perkin’s YouTube series where she was so open and honest about her fertility journey. I think a lot of couples would really relate to their story.
Carys is a content creator, YouTuber, ray of sunshine, and she’s currently expecting.
Did you have any preconceived ideas of what the TTC experience would be like based on other people’s stories / things you’d heard?
So when I started TTC using ovulation kits and having sex on the days with the highest rate of conception, I was surprised that it didn’t happen for us more quickly!Carys Whittaker
I had an idea that TTC wasn’t easy based on certain things I’d seen in films or heard in podcasts. None of my friends or close family have young kids, so I’ve never had a conversation in person with anyone about their personal TTC experience! I always assumed it was seen as ‘not easy’ based off people ‘having sex regularly and seeing what happens’. So when I started TTC using ovulation kits and having sex on the days with the highest rate of conception, I was surprised that it didn’t happen for us more quickly!
There’s an assumption that falling pregnant happens pretty quickly, possibly because the majority of people trying to conceive are doing so privately and will only share the news if they become pregnant. How long did it take for you to fall pregnant / how long were you trying to conceive?
It took us 5 months to conceive. I definitely agree that it feels like everyone just ‘falls pregnant’ straight away based on the fact there’s not a very open conversation around TTC. I think there is a lot of shame and embarrassment attached to TTC and how long it takes, which sucks. The more people that can share their stories and normalise the conversation around it, the less of a struggle it would be for a lot of people.
Did you have any useful tools / apps to help plan your pregnancy and connect with your body?
I used the clear blue digital ovulation monitor and sticks to track my ovulation days. I also used the Femometer app which is synced up to a BBT (basal body temperature) thermometer. This tracks your BBT and shows you when exactly you ovulated, and how your temperature then responds after ovulation which can be a sign of pregnancy. I think the ovulation sticks are great for understanding more about your body and your cycle but I found the thermometer to be a negative for me.
I become obsessed with the app and analysing my temperature chart when it ended up being no help and just made me feel more anxious about the whole process. The month I fell pregnant was actually the month we did a ‘month off’ any ovulation tracking or temperature tracking. I did still know a lot about my body and cycle from all the tracking I had done previously so I don’t regret doing it but I think a month off was needed for us.
Did you make any lifestyle changes to help improve your chances of getting pregnant?
Going from your normality to suddenly NO alcohol, a new diet, overthinking everything you eat, taking your temperature every morning and peeing on your ovulation sticks, it almost takes over your whole day!Carys Whitaker
For the first 2-3 months, I stopped drinking alcohol completely and looked into all sorts of foods/diets that could improve my chances of getting pregnant. From my experience, I actually found any extreme changes reminded me and my body daily that we were not only TTC but that I was REALLY trying hard. This was such a negative reminder daily for me. I had endless advice from my mum who is a GP and does a lot of family planning. She would always say how important it is to relax and not stress. At the time you might not feel over ‘stressed’ but I think it all adds up with you realising!
Going from your normality to suddenly NO alcohol, a new diet, overthinking everything you eat, taking your temperature every morning and peeing on your ovulation sticks, it almost takes over your whole day! I eventually decided to start living as ‘normally’ as possible and that helped me so much mentally. You have to keep living your life alongside TTC because otherwise, it can so easily consume every inch of you!!
Trying to conceive can be a stressful time emotionally, do you have any pointers for trying to stay positive and relaxed when you’re feeling discouraged?
I think I the first good thing to remember is that so many women are in the same boat as you and feeling exactly the same way. It’s Bloomin’ HARD!! For me, half the struggle was feeling alone and feeling guilty about struggling. Finding someone to talk to and open up to about how you’re feeling can help so much. I know it can be really hard to find the right people to talk too, if you’re struggling with that you could always look up TTC communities/forums online and see if that works for you. However you’re feeling, you’re not alone.
The commitment to love-making can be a lot and sex can become a bit of a ‘task’ when you’re trying to get pregnant, how did you deal with that / what advice do you have for anyone struggling to connect with their partner and keep things fun?
It’s so easy to feel bad when Sex becomes less enjoyable and more of a ‘task’ but it’s good to remind yourself, that’s totally normal! Most couples will go through that when TTC, we certainly did! Things I found helpful were:
Accepting that planning sex is okay when TTC. It doesn’t make you ‘unsexy’ or ‘less in love’ saying things like “we haven’t had sex yet today, maybe we should” is okay, it’s just being busy and being human!
Talking to each other and communicating about how you’re feeling and how you could spice things up for each other.
Take a month to step back and have sex less. This can be REALLY hard because you immediately think you’ll have less chance of conceiving but I think quality over quantity is important to try now and then!
One thing you wish you knew at the start of your TTC that you know now… That certain lubricant brands can kill sperm!!! So if you use lubricant get a TTC friendly one like ‘preseed’.
What NOT to say to someone TTC?
Ask them how they’re doing and how TTC is going for them. Let them open up to you as much as they feel comfortable with. Try to create an understanding environment where they feel they can say things they might be embarrassed about or nervous to talk about. Refrain from phrases like ‘oh it will happen’ ‘don’t worry about it’ ‘the more you worry the less likely it is to happen’ ‘it always happens when you don’t want it too’ ‘stop worrying’.
How do you deal with a friend’s happy baby news if it hasn’t happened for you, yet?
Firstly, it’s never going to be easy so it’s a good start to be kind to yourself and know that it may hurt. Just because it hurts, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you human.
I believe that the emotions you put out into the universe and give to others are the emotions that fill up your soul and mould you as a person. I try my hardest to see the good in situations and people and pour out as much kindness and love as I possibly can to myself and others… that being said, sometimes it’s just really hard and that’s okay too.
Ruth has two children and is the founder of The Night Feed app which connects and entertains new mums during the long, sleepless nights with a new baby! Download on the App Store or Google Play.
Did you have any preconceived ideas of what the TTC experience would be like based on other people’s stories/things you’d heard?
Do you know, it sounds terrible to say it, now, but it just never crossed my mind that I would have any problems. I assumed it would happen quickly and without incident; I think then when I started TTC, social media and sharing personal experiences hadn’t really kicked off online and so I had very few stories to refer to. I had obviously had friends who had struggled or had bad times, but it wasn’t really talked about that openly.
There’s an assumption that falling pregnant happens pretty quickly, possibly because the majority of people trying to conceive are doing so privately and will only share the news if they become pregnant. How long did it take for you to fall pregnant / how long were you trying to conceive?
It was when I miscarried that I really started being quite preoccupied with it – as every month passed, and every test came up negative, I just felt more and more despondent.Ruth Crilly
When we got married in 2008 we started trying in a very low-key way. After a couple of years, I realised that it just wasn’t happening, but just as we were about to go and see the GP about it properly, I got pregnant. It was when I miscarried that I really started being quite preoccupied with it – as every month passed, and every test came up negative, I just felt more and more despondent. I thought that it would never happen. It did happen, wonderfully, but I didn’t have my first baby until the summer of 2015, so almost seven years of trying!
Did you have any useful tools/apps to help plan your pregnancy and connect with your body?
I would absolutely track ovulation, but track it accurately. I remember my Mum saying to me for years, “I used to ovulate on day 9!” and me going “blah blah ok, yeah right” and I never used to start my ovulation sticks until about day 10 or 11 because I didn’t want to waste them! But I must have been completely missing my window every month for YEARS. I worked out that I conceived my daughter on day 9. Obviously, I haven’t told my Mum this because I hate being wrong. Haha. It’s actually not that funny really because it was YEARS of heartbreak. I wouldn’t blame the whole thing on ovulation miscalculation because we would try all through the month, not just “on the right days” but still. Get a tracker, get the monitor thing with the sticks, do it all!
Did you make any lifestyle changes to help improve your chances of getting pregnant?
I went to see an amazing Chinese Medicine Practitioner and he sat and quizzed me for ages about obvious and obscure parts of my personality and lifestyle. It opened my eyes to many bits of behaviour that were probably not helping in the whole TTC journey. I started taking Vitamin D, getting outside more, eating a better diet and I virtually stopped drinking and I also went for regular acupuncture sessions with him. I was pregnant within about six months of making the changes. I was actually due to go for my first IVF consultation when I found out I was pregnant!
Trying to conceive can be a stressful time emotionally, do you have any pointers for trying to stay positive and relaxed when you’re feeling discouraged?
Yes, I think that seeking help as soon as you can is really important for positivity, once you get past the time-frame that the experts usually set as being “normal” for getting pregnant. It’s just a massive weight off when you can share your worries and once the tests are booked it feels as though you’re actively doing something to help things along. I think that this is enormously beneficial. I’d also say that although I did change my lifestyle, you don’t want to stress yourself out and live like a saint for the whole time you’re trying – you can become obsessed with “getting things just right” but in the end, I think we conceived when we were blind drunk at a wine-tasting evening on holiday in Greece.
The commitment to love-making can be a lot and sex can become a bit of a ‘task’ when you’re trying to get pregnant, how did you deal with that / what advice do you have for anyone struggling to connect with their partner and keep things fun?
Oh, it just really wasn’t fun six years down the line. Nothing could have made it fun. We just sort of nodded at one another in a silent assent. “You may begin.”
One thing you wish you knew at the start of your TTC that you know now…
Try wearing a pad instead of using tampons/mooncup so that you have a good idea of your flow and the length of your periods because you will be asked this ALL THE TIME if you seek help!Ruth Crilly
You can ovulate on a really weird day and those sticks can be impossible to read – they always look SLIGHTLY positive, so start testing on day five or something for a few months so that you really get a feel for your cycle. Also, sorry if this is TMI, but try wearing a pad instead of using tampons/mooncup so that you have a good idea of your flow and the length of your periods because you will be asked this ALL THE TIME if you seek help!
What NOT to say to someone TTC?
I think pretty much any question about it gets your back up and makes you feel inadequate and embarrassed, so it would be better for them to just ask how someone is generally and let them take the lead, I think. Saying that I used to LOVE talking about it with other people who were trying to TTC and not having a great time, because it used to make me feel less alone, so if you have anecdotal material that someone will relate to then that can be a good ice breaker. It’s a really tricky one.
How do you deal with a friend’s happy baby news if it hasn’t happened for you, yet?
I don’t think that you ever do deal with it very well if I’m honest. Sorry, some of these answers aren’t ideal but I remember how raw it was when I heard people’s news – I was never jealous, per se, and I was always absolutely thrilled for them, but it would always throw up a “why me!” sense of self-pity and so I just used to embrace it and wallow for a while. I don’t think we need to be positive all the time – sometimes it’s OK to just feel incredibly hard done by.
Chaneen is a content creator, founder of @wearetheempowered – Law of attraction manifestation coaching and @chicanddiscreet – affordable breastfeeding clothing.
Did you have any preconceived ideas of what the TTC experience would be like based on other people’s stories/things you’d heard?
I did have some preconceived ideas of what the trying to conceive experience would be like. I thought it would be very difficult and I thought potentially I wouldn’t be able to have children. That was a really hard reality or something for me to accept quite early on in my life. I didn’t plan then to have children because I thought I didn’t want the disappointment of trying and potentially facing disappointment over and over.
I was told at about 16 that because I had used the IUD I have likely ruined my chances of ever getting pregnant because ‘that’s the contraception they only give to women who have already had children and do not want anymore.’ This was told to me by a family friend who was a trained nurse and so I took her at her word and live with that belief for almost 10 years.
There’s an assumption that falling pregnant happens pretty quickly, possibly because the majority of people trying to conceive are doing so privately and will only share the news if they become pregnant. How long did it take for you to fall pregnant / how long were you trying to conceive?
I was able to conceive, but there was still a lot of fears surrounding what would happen throughout the pregnancy and to my life thereafter. Chaneen Saliee
So as I mentioned I never did try to conceive because I was afraid of the disappointment of not being able to conceive. And so when I did fall pregnant it was a surprise and it was a welcome surprise because I was able to conceive, but there was still a lot of fears surrounding what would happen throughout the pregnancy and to my life thereafter.
I do think that the idea of trying to conceive is skewed and the experience is had often in private because of this heartbreak and this fear of it never happening and so we think that it is quite easy for women to fall pregnant and evidence of this is in the way that people often ask the question, “so when are you having a baby?” For women who are trying to conceive or who think they may have no chances of doing so, it is painful to hear this and then act as if it’s just a casual conversation, when really it dredges up so much pain, doubt and a heavy feeling of loss or of failure.
Did you make any lifestyle changes to help improve your chances of getting pregnant?
I will say that while I never made any lifestyle changes to improve my chances of getting pregnant because I never tried to get pregnant I did make lifestyle changes once I knew that I was pregnant because I wanted to ensure that I could remain pregnant. It was always at the back of my mind the fear I had of never being able to get pregnant and then being pregnant and not knowing if I’m going to be able to maintain that pregnancy.
Some of the things that I did to change my lifestyle really was to just rest more I set massive boundaries and I did not let anybody cross them and I didn’t push them aside for any reason. So my most important one I would say was resting and removing all stress if I needed to rest I would rest. At the time I was training to be a teacher which was a very heavy responsibility but I made the decision to put my career potentially on hold, on the back burner or maybe even give it up entirely so that I could ensure that I would be able to maintain my pregnancy. That was huge because I’d worked so hard to get to that point and all I felt I had to hold onto was my career and my love of travel but maintaining my pregnancy was far more important.
Trying to conceive can be a stressful time emotionally, do you have any pointers for trying to stay positive and relaxed when you’re feeling discouraged?
Research unconventional alternatives and keep an open mind. There are some incredible stories of women who have tried alternative or holistic methods that helped them conceive.Chaneen Saliee
Watch lots of funny movies, research unconventional alternatives and keep an open mind. There are some incredible stories of women who have tried alternative or holistic methods that helped them conceive. Most importantly though I would say find a community of supportive women who are living through this experience too.
How do you deal with a friend’s happy baby news if it hasn’t happened for you, yet?
Try to have the outlook or perspective that their happy baby news is a sign that it is possible for you too – our journeys are all very different.
