Zoe

Lockdown has definitely taught me a few things. Mostly how lucky I am that I have my health and that nobody I am close to has been directly affected by Covid-19. It really puts your life into perspective; What’s important and what isn’t. That worrying about so many menial things can take up so much time, yet you can never predict something like a global pandemic. The great sense of community and lifting each-other through such a difficult and unpredictable time. I thought more about my friends and family and how they could be feeling, making sure to check in or have something thoughtful delivered to them to make them smile. Having previously lived with anxiety that ruled at least 80% of my thoughts on a day to day basis, I had a moment a few weeks ago where I realised that lockdown would have been a situation past-zoe would have welcomed. No travel? No large events or group gatherings? No restaurants? No socialising? No work events? No big scale face-to-face meetings? Being told to stay home no matter what. Although the circumstances are due to something incredibly scary and real, there was certainly a time in my life I would have relished in being told to avoid all of the above. However, sitting in my garden, thinking back on the past few months it made me realise how far I’d come as I miss all of those things so much. I can’t wait to step into an aeroplane, to dance in a crowd of people at a gig and to be more spontaneous with plans because we’re able to make them. More than anything, COVID-19 and lockdown has taught me never to take anything for granted; life, health, my home, freedom, the importance of human contact and the people in your life that truly matter to you!

Darcey

Lockdown has been a whirlwind of emotions, 3 months have felt like a life time but I’ve also found myself thinking “how the hell is it already July?!”. I feel like there is no concept of time anymore, in some ways it has been quite freeing, other days I’ve found it harder to deal with.

As lockdown began, I enjoyed the free time I had, especially after work when I would normally be getting a bus back home and getting in much later. I also really appreciated the flexibility of my work and how lucky I was to work in a sector that could easily continue from home. With a lot of my friends being furloughed and finding it difficult to fill all the free time they now had, I knew having a working routine would help with passing time and most importantly, with my mental health.

Lockdown was something I accepted but also struggled with too. As someone with anxiety I found it difficult to deal with at first due to everything feeling so out of my control. But as the time passed and it started to feel more “normal” I found that it became easier, that lockdown became a new routine. I feel like I ended up just slotting into it and finding more enjoyment in the little things, especially when it began to ease, seeing friends at the beach was a real treat!

It’s made me appreciate how much I thrive off being social and seeing friends and although I won’t say that I’ll NEVER turn a plan down again (I’m a big believer in personal space and taking breaks when needed to be with yourself) but, I’ll definitely become more spontaneous. I want to plan less and just live, especially when lockdown begins to ease more. I have felt anxious about life going back to normal again, pubs and restaurants still make me a bit nervous and I haven’t been to one yet… but I’m sure in a few weeks my confidence in going to public places will grow a bit, baby steps!

Charlotte

What a bloody year! It feels weird even reflecting on the start of lockdown and the experience as a whole because I literally feel like I’ve aged about 5 years in the space of 3 months. Thankfully, whilst I haven’t contracted Covid myself, I’ve been battling every day with some longer terms health problems brought up by the stress of the pandemic, so I would not say the new decade has been a particularly easy one by any stretch of the imagination. Most of the lessons I’ve learnt have been centred around being unwell, but navigating the chronic pain landscape during a pandemic has been trying to say the least, ha!

I spent some time at ‘home’ home when lockdown first began, and whilst it was so lovely to be around my family when those first few scary weeks hit, I’ve definitely learnt the importance of having my own space, mentally and physically. Lesson one was therefore that it’s never selfish to put yourself first when you need to. Most of us spend a lot of time worrying about others or helping family and friends where possible, but the pandemic taught me the importance of just focusing on me when everything else is out of my control. Relationships aren’t always 50:50, and those that really care about you will take the weight off to help you find your balance again.

Lockdown reaffirmed for me how important it is to make plans, big or small to help manage my mental health and prevent the overwhelming feeling of an indefinite expanse of time ahead from becoming too much. Whilst before lockdown those plans looked more like seeing my boyfriend or booking weekends away, even the simplicity of adding ‘go for walk at 7pm’ or ‘order takeaway’ into my calendar added some much needed structure and control to what has otherwise been a very out of control few months.

And whilst this stretch of time has been unexplainably challenging, I seem to have reoccurring anxieties and worries about life going back to ‘normal’. I worry that I’ll struggle to adapt to socialising and conversations with new people again, that my anxiety will have grown into a more challenging and untameable version as though I’m starting from scratch, and that I’ll battle FOMO on a new scale as people make plans and book trips around me that I’ll have a strange sense of missing out from. Poor health and a pandemic have changed me in so many ways, but I hope this awful blip in an otherwise happier life will help me appreciate the desperately needed good times when they eventually roll around once more.

Lareese

Spending the past three months in lockdown and working from home has made me hugely appreciative to work in an industry that is so receptive to change. While working remotely is not without its challenges – musical neighbours were definitely only endearing at the beginning – particularly in the thick of a global pandemic, not everyone had the luxury of being able to do their job from the comfort and safety of their home. Like many others, I wouldn’t choose to spend this much time indoors ordinarily, but it really taught me how to get comfortable with a slower, simpler life; a moment of pause. The Banana bread, Tiger King chapter of lockdown seems like 84 years ago, doesn’t it?

I’ve found a new sense of gratitude for my home and the little rituals I’ve enjoyed since spending more time here. Lighting the candles in the lounge before opening my laptop or reading books on the stairs – tiny celebrations of idleness. Being satisfied with just being and surviving instead of doing. I’ve come to understand how the art of doing nothing is just that – an art. It’s something that we have to practise and choose to make room for, above plans and the glorification of productivity.

Going out on the doorstep every Thursday for the NHS clap has brought our neighbours together in socially-distanced solidarity. We have since shared birthdays, tears and bags of sugar; home-cooked meals and tomato plants with handwritten notes. It’s been a dangerous and worrying time but it’s also brought out the best in people. I’ve missed my normality in all its mesmerising forms: the squishy cheeks of my niece and nephew, the hugs. Oh the hugs! Forever the optimist though, I look for lessons in challenges like this one. We may all have had the proverbial rug pulled from under our feet but now we’re very nearly back on solid ground, are we more anchored than ever before? I like to think so.

To paraphrase Charles Dickens: it has been the best of times, and the worst of times; it’s been enriching and exhausting but most of all, eye-opening. This is going to be a story we will continue to share round the campfire for years to come. I hope we remember 2020: the year we relearned how to live.

Danielle

Admittedly I was one of those people that went into lockdown thinking we’ll be back to normal in a few weeks. Obviously that wasn’t the case! I think the novelty of the first few weeks got me to a certain point, building my new way of working from home which is never something I’d done long-term before. I guess the closest thing would be Uni, and I was pretty rubbish at motivating myself to do anything back then, thank god I’ve changed! Video calling my family was a godsend, I probably spoke to at least one friend or family member every day which was a welcome respite from only talking to my fiancée Harry or my dog.
I quickly learnt how much money I was previously spending on food and socialising, and hope that I can keep saving now that the lockdown is easing. It’s been hard to differentiate weekdays from weekends when I had no plans, but we always managed to have fun.
During the lockdown I had to cancel my hen do (replaced with an AMAZING virtual one) and my wedding, but if anything it’s only brought Harry and me closer, we’ve had so much fun together and knowing we can spend so much time together alone is quite a nice feeling. One of my favourite days was Harry’s birthday, I made him a pub in the kitchen and he was so grateful.
I’m so grateful I’ve been able to keep working, I have plenty of friends and family that have had to deal with the added pressure of not knowing what’s happening with their career, and with so little to do it’s hard to not dwell on the negatives.
I think it’s probably too early to say what I’ll take from lockdown moving forward, but I know I have a new respect for the fact that not every day is a given, I’ll be making sure when I’m spending time with friends and family that I’m present and soaking up all the positivity I can.

After barely leaving the house for months, sitting down on a picnic to share a punnet of sweaty strawberries with a freshly sanitized hand is bound to feel weird and unnatural at first, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Take time to adjust and figure out what’s comfortable for you at this stage.

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To help alleviate the anxiety around the future of dating and to, ahem, lubricate the social dating experience, Bumble will be introducing a range of features to facilitate dating from a distance.

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With the introduction of profile badges, users will be able to filter their potential love interests based on their dating preferences. Whether you’re in the virtual-only camp, up for a socially distanced meet up or you prefer socially distanced dating with masks, the badges alleviate any pressure of having those awkward conversations. So, if you’re not interested in

l-o-v-e without full P-P-E, the badge is one way to spell it out.

How have you found dating during lockdown?

I have been on a few virtual dates during lockdown. I sit there before with my laptop thinking how weird it will be, and what excuse can I come up with to cancel. Even though I am always pleasantly surprised, I have found dating during lockdown challenging. With meeting IRL out of the question, I thought it would be a great time to build on those online connections using Bumble and create some solid foundations. However, with nothing new happening, it’s inevitable you will run out of things to discuss. With small talk about your day a lot harder with the decrease in activities, I struggled to stay interested myself! 

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Some people might struggle to feel connected to someone on a video date, have you got any tips for breaking the ice / getting the conversation flowing?

Video calling can feel awkward at the start. Just relax into it, have a few questions in the back of your mind that you’d like to ask, make sure you are in comfortable surroundings and are feeling your best. Remember, you don’t have to spend hours on the call, just a gentle hello and introduction can be a friendly opening. 

Lareese

I didn’t just want to read this book, I needed to and truthfully, I should have read it years ago but would I have been ready for it… honestly? Probably not. I would have been the blinkered white girl, oblivious to the privilege right under my nose and blinded by white denial. What on earth was I so willing to defend? Reni Eddo-Lodge’s Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race should be compulsory reading, and if the title alone makes you feel uncomfortable, then even more reason to pick it up and pore over its lessons. I don’t think I’ve ever gone through a book and underlined so many passages. This is not a book you can cruise through; it’s painful and powerful and it deserves your undivided attention. Reni hits you hard with sour stats (2004 the first black judge, I mean really, 2004!) and in her examination of black British history, she invites you to draw your own conclusions on whether racism is an ‘American’ issue. I’d never heard about the Groce family or Floyd Jarrett before reading this book but it’s like Reni says, you have to actively go looking for black histories to know them. I found the passages about white privilege and the system particularly eye-opening – if you really want to understand race relations in this country, work your way through Reni’s words. I will be circulating this book amongst my peers and relatives strictly on a loan-only basis, so I can revisit its powerful pages and continue to check my white privilege. I want to remember this book forever.

Charlotte

I first read this book in 2018 but shamefully didn’t get to the end as my university work took over and reading for pleasure took a back seat. And whilst racism doesn’t exactly feel like a pleasurable topic, I’ve learnt in recent weeks the importance of facing discomfort head on to become more educated and with a better understanding of how to amplify the voices of people of colour. From the very first page, the facts and experiences shared by Eddo-Lodge around the prejudice and whitewashing of history taught in the UK is shocking- as a white person, it never occurred to me that our curriculum and education system could be so discriminatory. It was the parts of life that as a white person I’d never questioned that showed me just how ingrained racism is within our world’s structures and institutions. White privilege was one area I’d learnt about through social media in recent years and a part of this book I was only too happy to revisit. The following quote is one that really stayed with me: “When I was four, I asked my mum when I would turn white, because all the good people on TV were white, and all the villains were black and brown. I considered myself to be a good person, so I thought I’d turn white eventually. My mum still remembers the crestfallen look on my face when she told me the bad news” I hope the current momentum of the Black Lives Matter movement continues to give exposure to the lessons and truths tucked beneath the pages of this book- uncomfortable facts we as white people should have to face at the earliest opportunity.

Zoe

This book had been on my TBR pile unread for longer than I care to admit. I’d seen a lot of people I follow on social media talking about it and how it changed the way they thought about racism and anti racist work. More recently with the growing momentum of the black lives matter movement and the death of George Floyd, I felt it was important that I bumped this to the top of my reading list and we added it as an extra book for the Zoella June book club too. This is a truly important book and Reni taught me so much I shamefully had no idea about. I found the first chapter about the history of racism in Britain particularly shocking. Shocking in nature but also because I didn’t know about 75% of it. Reni herself said that it isn’t easy to find information or research the history of racism and slavery through Britain and that you have to really go looking for it. This is something that needs to change. You often hear of people saying “we don’t have racism here in the UK like they do in America”, and Reni’s book proves that is far from the truth. I also found her chapter on “The System” so eye opening, highlighting systemic racism that is so deep routed and the ways in which this seeps into society. I listened on audible during morning dog walks and read from my hard copy too. This is a book that you will want to go back to and that you’ll find yourself highlighting certain sentences and paragraphs in. I also want to pass this book on to a friend or family member and I encourage anyone reading this review to listen or read this book. It’s not something that should be sat on someone’s to be read pile, it’s something that should be compulsory. It’s important that reading this as a white person, you sit with the uncomfortable feelings when faced with facts and truths surrounding your white privilege and think about the ways in which you can continue to grow, learn and support others.

Darcey

I thought to myself whilst holding the book, open on the first page, why didn’t I choose to read this sooner? What is the reason for me only now taking the time to educate myself further. I knew this book would give me an answer. This book was brought to a lot of peoples attentions through the momentum of the the Black Lives Matter movement, but I questioned myself on why I didn’t seek out reading educational books on racism sooner. Well, it’s white privilege.

This is a book I found myself re-reading pages, making sure I was understanding not only what Eddo-Lodge was saying, but making sure I was understanding what that meant I needed to do. I was astounded at the UK’s history curriculum, which is painfully whitewashed, with little or no teaching in colonialism and slavery. But this is part of our history, this is something that needs to be taught to children.

One part of the book really stood out to me, it was when Eddo-Lodge discussed feminism and black women’s involvement within feminism. As someone who openly calls herself a feminist, I found it upsetting too read how feminism had almost rejected people of colour from the conversation, especially black women. I was ashamed in myself, that my view of feminism being inclusive and for everyone, was actually my own little bubble of how I saw feminism. I realised again how my white privilege had led me to believe that’s how everyone saw it, when in reality, a lot of people had felt left out of the conversation for some time.

I highly recommend that everyone reads this book, I think it should be compulsory to read in schools. I think if you feel uncomfortable at even the title of the book, more the reason to read it. Reading this book by no means my learning is done, I still have a lot to learn and too digest in order to be a better ally. I want to be part of keeping the Black Lives Matter momentum up, this cannot just be a moment. Radical change is needed and can only happen if everyone does their part.

Danielle

If you’re looking to start your journey of learning about race than ‘Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race; should absolutely be your first read. With the most recent BLM movement gaining more deserved attention than ever it’s easy to get wrapped in the race relations happening in the U.S, I know far more about what’s going on over there than I do here and with the lack of education given to us in school about black UK history I was ashamed about how little I knew about racism in the UK. This book is tough one to pick up as every time you start it your faced with your own ignorance and white privilege but that’s exactly why you should read it. There’s such a long way to go in the fight for equality for Black People so reading this book, and subsequently lending it to everyone you know and making sure they read it to will absolutely help to educate and change people who are stuck in there ways and burying their heads in the sand. You can post a black square on your timeline and sign a few petitions but if you really, truly want to start work on anti-racism pick up a copy of this book ASAP.

Amy

Wow. What a read. I’m so glad that this was chosen to be on the Zoella Book Club this month, as this is a book that everyone should get their hands on.

It’s not easy read by any means – in fact, it’s discomforting and forthright – and as Eddo-Lodge lays out the structural racism faced by Black people in the UK, through the lenses of education, feminism, class and employment, it’s impossible to deny that we have so much work to do to dismantle those racist systems.

As a mixed race (but white-passing, and I benefit from white privilege) woman of colour, maybe the most important thing I took from this book was the need to separate Black issues from the BAME acronym. Seeing race is important, and so is identifying the racist systems embedded in all aspects of our society.

Eddo-Lodge writes with real clarity and honesty, and I hope her work reaches as many people as possible.

Black Lives Matter. 

Maddie

I’m ashamed to admit that at the age of 32, outside of education, this is the first time i’ve picked up a book that is entirely about race and black history. I studied Sociology at university, a subject I found fascinating, and so i’ve always been interested about our society and specifically inequalities and differences within society whether that was to do with gender, religion, race, femininity, masculinity and education to name a few. That being said, It’s only really now since the Black Lives Matter movement hit all of our hearts with the devastating treatment and subsequent death of George Floyd that I realised how much more I need to learn and listen. I think it also made a lot of us realise how much the text books leave out and as Reni talks about, you have to really really look and seek out this information on black history, specifically in the UK which really shouldn’t be the case. I’m pleased we chose this book for an extra bookclub pick this month and i urge you reading this to pick up a copy. Up until a few weeks ago I thought it was enough to just not be racist, to not judge people by the colour of their skin and treat everyone the same. It’s by educating myself with books like this that I have learnt that we need to do more than this, we need to be more conscious, we need to know about the history. I know that myself, as a white woman, I will never truly understand but I want to do what I can to help instil change that is so desperately needed.