So what if they can’t compete with the perennial Yuletide staples like Love Actually? Let us celebrate all the tip top happy and crappy Christmas movies out there anyway.
With their predictable and far-fetched storylines and corny characters, these are the best of the worst Christmas movies we can’t stop watching.
For your guilty pleasure viewing only
Lauren – The Holiday Calendar
The Holiday Calendar on Netflix is one I love to pick apart, yet still enjoy with every watch – in terms of holiday films it’s actually a pretty good plot and acting, but with all those great obvious storylines like the best friend always being in love with the main character, or the main character being totally oblivious to everything right up until the last 5 minutes! When Abby inherits a magical antique calendar from her wide old grandpa, she starts seeing signs pointing towards love and success at work, but obviously, she’s reading it all wrong, and good ol’grandpa knew that too, so she sets on a path to make her life happen and get her man! My main problem with the film? The fact that Abby is a penniless freelance photographer who miraculously can still rent a fabulous open plan apartment – either someone has great rent control or Santa put her top of the nice list! Either way, great cheese and an easy watch on a Sunday if you need some festive spirit!
Carrie – The Angel of Christmas
I think my favourite awful movie is The Angel of Christmas, a classically cringey Hallmark movie that has everything you need to get into the cheesy Christmas spirit, and bonus, it’s on Netflix. It follows a reporter writing about a family heirloom that of course happens to be mysteriously magical resulting in a totally realistic love story. It has all the plot holes and melodramatic acting needed for a true crappy Christmas movie, and one I love to have on while decorating and getting ready for the festive season.
Maddie – The Grinch
Controversial but i’m going to throw in The Grinch to this list. Don’t get me wrong, i still bloody love it and will 100% be watching it again this year at some point but if I were to rank the all time best Christmas movies this would probably fall to the bottom of the pile for me. I think if you don’t know the original then this movie is totally passable (mostly down to Jim Carrey’s hilarious over the top rendition and a dog called Max who totally steals the show) but when you compare it to the classic Dr Seuss story and cartoon version it just doesn’t quite cut the mustard. But WHO am i to judge… it’s still super festive, makes me laugh and has a lovely heart warming ending so all in all there’s no need to be a Grinch about it.
Danielle – The Princess Switch
Just like most other ‘made for TV movies’ The Princess Switch involves some extremely hard to believe hijinx resulting in your average small-town American girl becoming a proper full-blown royal princess. All these movies truly have me believe that this is the pipe dream for girls across the globe, sitting pretty in a castle, constantly smiling, your only friends are the people who work there: JOY!
The reason why the Princess Switch is my favourite bad Christmas movie is because it features Vanessa Hudgens who plays the aforementioned small-town girl as well as the princess she switches with. There are some solid Parent Trap moments where they have to teach each other how to walk, talk, and they even had a hair cut moment, obviously by the royal hairstylist though because duh PRINCESS!
Each of the Vanessas falls hopelessly in love, loads of people have terrible British accents even though they’re supposed to be in Moldova, and orphan children receive a ton of great gifts. I highly recommend starting with this one if you’re going to jump down the hole of Princess Christmas movies (which I have) because it is the cream of the crop.
Lareese – Jingle All The Way
I love to hate Jingle All The Way. It celebrates everything bad about Christmas: consumerism and cocky men in various suits.
You know Arnold Schwarzenegger’s never going to make it to the store in time, you know he’s going to fail his son immeasurably when he doesn’t get his hands on the elusive Turbo Man toy, you know he’s a sucky father and a sucky shag because he’s always at work, too busy selling mattresses to show up and be present for his little boy.
And don’t even get me started on the fact that his own wife and son don’t recognise him at the parade, in his inconspicuous Turbo Man disguise – a see-through visor. Ok, then.
Stop pretending it’s Turbo Man, Jamie. You’re like seven years old, how many 6ft men with a thick Austrian accent and a suspiciously chiselled jawline do you know round these ends?
Schwarzenegger has never been so wooden, Ted Maltin is possibly the most annoying slimy weasel character ever, the special effects are terrifying and yet, you bet I’ll be there Christmas Eve like a moth to a flame, watching it and rolling my eyes – and that right there is the sign of a very good, bad Christmas movie.
Zoe – The Greatest Store in the World
So I struggled here, because I am of the notion that there really is NO bad Christmas film (that i’d still be up for watching anyway, Nativity 3 was NOT the one, and don’t get me started on Home Alone 3 and 4). So which film is pretty pants but still a MUST WATCH?
One that really springs to mind, is a film called “The Greatest Store In The World”. Admittedly, it was more of a BBC one off which aired when I was around 9 which featured a family whose motor home blew up, so they decided to live in a department store at Christmas. It also had an S Club 7 cameo and a bad Santa who tried to steal the store jewels. It’s so badly brilliant that I tracked it down on dvd and watch it every year without fail (not going to lie, I could recite quite a lot of the script at this point). If you can track it down online, i’d highly recommend giving it a watch, but keep your expectation pretty low!
Another bad-good film is Surviving Christmas which I only discovered last year (maybe because absolutely nobody talks about it). Starring Ben Affleck as a pretty selfish, wealthy guy with a real lack of love and stability who ends up looking like he’ll be spending Christmas on his own. He decides to pay the family living in his old family home to pretend to be his family and do all the festive traditions he wants. The storyline is uber predictable, the comedy is a bit off & rotten tomatoes only gave it 7% but I JUST LOVE IT!
