13 Questions with Rukiat

Inspired by the lack of sex education she had growing up Rukiat made it her mission to educate the masses about sex education. She also focuses on beating the STIgmas, the pleasure gap, sexting and digital dating and intimacy...

First of all, how are you and how are you finding 2021 so far?

I am well, I can’t really complain because I’m grateful for my situation despite the pandemic. 2021 feels like 2020 part 2 though, especially because in the UK we are still in a national lockdown. I can’t wait for things to go back to normal because I love nightlife, the city, the loud music, the drinking and socialising. Hopefully, we will be able to do those things soon.

Can you talk us through your career online and how it’s evolved?

I started speaking about sex online in 2017 when me and two other girlfriends created a sexual wellness company for us to vent about bedroom inequality between straight women and men, and to document our sexual liberation journeys. From then on, my online presence started to grow and so I was being asked to speak at events, participate in panels and overall share my thoughts and opinions on sex.

Offline I also work in the charity sector, teaching sex education to young people. It was only last year that I realised how much of an interesting and unique take I had on sex ed, sexual wellness and even relationships based on how people responded to me. People would tell me how much insight they gained or how inspired they were. And so I stopped underestimating myself and began to believe in myself as a knowledgeable person in my field.

For those that don’t know what can people expect to learn from you online?

Everything when it comes to sex, I don’t hold back and never have. Some people might think it’s a bit too much but I am so desensitised to speaking so openly about sex, so I have no filter.

What inspired you to get into sex education?

The lack of sex education I had growing up inspired me. I had to learn the hard way about a lot of things such as STIs and consent, so I felt it was important to advocate for better sex education. Sex is a part of all of our lives, yet so little accurate information is given to us. I believe that everybody should be sex-positive, so I believe using my voice and platform will encourage this.

We’re completely with you on the journey to normalizing female pleasure, why do you think it’s so important that we keep talking about it?

I think it’s important that we keep talking about it because 1 in 5 women in the UK will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. There are many reasons as to why sexual assault happens, and many of the times women don’t even realise that they experienced rape or sexual assault until after they learned about consent, or how to define pleasure for themselves. Or the fact that sex isn’t something that should be done to them. That painful sex is not normal, and neither is not communicating your desires.

A lot of women don’t even know what gets them going, what turns them on, and end up depriving themselves of orgasms and of sex that is fulfilling and centres their pleasure.

Female pleasure has been demonised and suppressed for centuries and sex is incredibly heteronormative. A lot of women don’t even know what gets them going, what turns them on, and end up depriving themselves of orgasms and of sex that is fulfilling and centres their pleasure. Women cannot stand up for themselves in the bedroom unless they understand female pleasure first.

Can you tell us more about some of your workshops?

I’ve done a few workshops over the past two years on STI’s and beating the STIgmas, the pleasure gap, sexting and digital dating and intimacy! They have all been in collaboration with other brands/organisations but this year I plan to host a few on my own. My workshops are always informative, and I encourage people to bring a pen and notebook as the knowledge I provide is always insightful.

What would you say is your biggest achievement to date?

My biggest achievement to date is being nominated for an award twice for my work. In 2019 it was for the NAZ Noscars Media Award and in 2020 it was for SH:24 and Brook’s Sexual Health Awards. The category I was nominated for was Micro-Influencer, which I won. Being recognised for my efforts means so much and encourages me to keep going.

What are you currently working on?

I am working on a few collaborations and commissions which I cannot speak too much about. And I’m also planning workshops!

Who are some of your favourite fellow sex educators online?

My favourite sex educators are Shakira Scott @scottyunfamous, Portia @froeticsexology, Celine @sexwithbaddies, Oloni @oloni, Michelle @polyamorouswhileasian, Niyyah @heauxonthegeaux, Jamie LeClaire @jamiejleclaire, Emily L. Depasse @sexelducation, Genevieve @squirtingisntpee, Yeside Olayinka-Agbola @oloricoitus, Roman Cohen @adwhoreable, Gabrielle Alexa @gabalexa, Ruby Rare @rubyrare, Eva Bloom @whatsmybodydoing, amongst many many more!

What do you always carry with you?

A cute little hand mirror!

What does your perfect weekend look like?

My perfect weekend looks like not stepping outside once, catching up with my favourite TV shows, endless amounts of my favourite foods, lots of sleep and my favourite sex toys on deck!

If you could only eat one meal again what would it be?

It would be one of my favourite Nigerian dishes Amala and Ogbono soup. Or Eba and Egusi soup, yum.

If you could give one message to our followers what would it be?

Embrace your sexuality, define pleasure for yourself and think for yourself!

Follow Rukiat on Instagram here!