First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?

I’m good! I’m definitely feeling more positive now that the world is opening up again and I think everyone feels the same. We all seem to be taking things slower, enjoying the small moments, spending time in the sun and seeing our friends and family again.

Can you tell us about Scientia and the products you produce?

Results-driven and radiance-boosting, Scientia [see-en-cha] is here for the beauty junkies and skincare lovers. Made to battle tired, dull, stressed-out skin and offer supercharged and feel-good skincare that’s proven to balance, brighten and plump whatever your age.  

Blending innovation with accessibility, high performing ingredients with aesthetic. I can honestly say that Scientia uses some of the most premium actives in the skincare world, bringing the best of science and nature. We combine that with playful and luxurious packaging that acts as an expression of style, proving that serious skincare doesn’t have to equal stuffy or unrelatable. Focusing on making that beautiful packaging sustainable too, Scientia offers an indulgence experience without the waste.

You’ve also founded plenty of other beauty businesses, what drives you to create something new?

With each product we create, I always want to push to make it do more and work harder. I won’t just make something for the sake of it – it’s all about being creative to bring something new and exciting to the market. Whether that’s finding a new ingredient and getting lost in what I can turn it into, travelling the world (pre and hopefully post covid!) to discover new innovations, or meeting with my lab team to work out how to solve a specific skincare problem, creativity is key!

We love that Scientia has such a big focus on cruelty-free, vegan skincare. What would you say is the ethos of the brand?  

Apart from being vegan and cruelty-free, ingredients are so important to Scientia. Forget about the natural vs synthetic debate, we blend the best of beauty innovation in both nature and science. Our globally sourced glow-giving ingredients are chosen to do good and work hard, whether that’s tranexamic acid whipped up in a lab, or a locally farmed avocado fresh from the tree.

I also think the idea that skincare being self-care is a big part of the brand, and why I personally love skincare too. That act of sitting down and applying a carefully chosen routine each morning, the feeling you get when you see the results from your skincare. Investing in yourself – that’s self-care. From the results you get, to the aromatherapeutic blends, Scientia is all about feel-good rituals, giving you your glow from the inside out.

Plus, we have a big focus on sustainability too. Thoughtfully designed, formulated, marketed, manufactured and distributed all in the UK, we’re Leaping Bunny Certified cruelty free, Vegan Society approved and offer sustainable glass and FSC certified packaging printed with soy ink.

Why do you think it’s so important to look after your skin?  

Apart from the long term benefits to how your skin looks and feels, like I said before, skincare should really be treated as self-care.  I think it’s really important to treat your skincare routine as a ritual, making it a moment to switch off and focus on you, whether that’s 5 minutes or 50.  When you put time and dedication into anything, seeing those results and reaping the rewards really does feel great, especially when you’re working on yourself.

What is the process like for creating a new product?

I’m lucky that I work for my family business and that as a family we have the capability to do every step of the process in house, bringing a product to market very quickly.

 I could think of an idea over breakfast and by lunchtime I’m in the lab with my team whipping something up. Plus, since we’re fully vertically integrated, we do everything else in-house too, from packaging design to the actual fulfilment, quality control to the marketing. This means we can be totally absorbed in every step to make all our products perfect!

What are your top 3 tips for starting a business?

Not everything will always go to plan and that success doesn’t happen overnight. You’ve got to take the knock backs, learn from them and then carry on pushing forward to get to where you want to be.

Find your niche, what are you passionate about? Look for your area of the market, look at what competitors are doing, how can you do it better, give the consumer a reason to buy from you.

What are you currently working on?

We have an amazing new product launching for Scientia in just a matter of weeks! Our new Sunshine & Sea Aqua Tanning Serum is here to bring a little sunshine to your complexion… A blend of naturally derived tanning actives, skin-plumping hyaluronic acid and youth-boosting Shiitake Extract rich in Vitamin D, it’ll give skin a healthy dose of glow no matter how much (or little) sun you get this Summer!

Then, for the middle of this year we’ve got an incredible trilogy of products launching with some of my favourite ingredients ever. With a big focus on clarity and breakout-prone skin, I honestly can’t wait to share this one with you all, it’s been a real personal journey for me.

Who are some of your favourite follows online?

I simply love Michelle Driscoll (@michellemdriscoll), she has such an elegant and effortless style. With a timeless feel to both her interiors and personal style, she’s one of my favourite people to follow.

For interiors, I’m more than a little in love with House that Colour Built (@thehousethatcolourbuilt) it just couldn’t be more me! There’s something so joyful about colour, it can literally rewire the way your brain works, making you feel more positive,  confident and full of creative energy.

I’ve also followed Astrid Wilson (@astridwilson) for years and it’s been amazing to see her grow, especially since she did a collab with Rixo my favourite dress brand. Plus, is there anything cooler than a beautiful Scandi artist?

What does your perfect weekend look like?

For many years now, the weekends, especially Sundays have always been about taking a step back from daily life which can often feel quite hectic and sometimes utterly relentless, so taking time to completely switch off in preparation for another week is so important to me. It’s one of the reasons I created another of my brands, Soak Sunday, a sustainable, sensorial and indulgent bath and body care brand. I wanted to capture that emotion connected to a long, lazy, slow Sunday and bring back bath time as ritual to revere, whatever day of the week you indulge in it.

With weekends being all about family, I do love curling up in bed with the kids for an early morning snuggle, sitting down to cook breakfast together, going on a long walk with my dog Reggie, sinking into a hot bath with a face mask for some self-care. With busy schedules during the week, over the weekend I really savour and soak up those small special moments of family life. 

What do you always carry with you?

An obvious one nowadays, hand sanitiser! Apart from that and lip balm, I always have a water bottle to hand, since keeping hydrated is so important for your skin and overall health too.   

What would your last ever meal be?

Ooo that’s a tricky one! I’d pop to the Le Petit Maison in Mayfair for a long alfresco lunch. I love all their nibbley tapas bit, especially the tomato burrata, and maybe a cold Rose.

What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?

Don’t be afraid to ask questions! Put yourself out there, even if it makes you feel a bit silly, because no-one knows absolutely everything and that’s the best way you learn. 

Hello and welcome. If you’ve landed here, there’s a good chance you’re either trying to conceive and currently having all the relentless ovulation window sex, very much pregnant (huge congrats!) and looking for all the tips you can get, or you’re on the home stretch and weeks away from welcoming your little one into the world and wondering what you need to pack in your hospital bag.

There’s a lot of widely available info out there, most of which you can get from a quick midnight Google panic-search, but we thought the most relatable advice would be best coming from those truth-telling internet pals who have been there, done it and got the kegel technique to prove it.

We took to Instagram to ask real parents what expectant mothers, or those trying for a baby (because we see you too), should know. Whether you want the scoop on how to get a good night’s sleep, a remedy for morning sickness that actually works or the ins and outs of perineal massage (you’re about to get to know your vagina very well), these are the tips that’ll get you through pregnancy from your first trimester right up to your due date.

Of all the suggestions that landed in our inbox, we have to say “a third arm” was a personal fave. Without further ado, let’s push on!

Take the guesswork out of fertility tracking

For anyone who is TTC (trying to conceive) and looking for a more advanced way to track fertility, the personalised Mira is an at-home lab-quality hormone tracking system that monitors LH levels throughout your cycle. It still requires peeing on a stick, there’s no getting away from that, but you then insert the wand into the analyzer and your fertility hormone concentration will sync with the Mira app, giving you accurate insight into your fertility window.

It’s particularly useful for anyone with irregular cycles or Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) as some people with PCOS have an elevated LH baseline, which means standard ovulation prediction kits can give false positives and can’t identify the actual ovulation.

Trying for a baby doesn’t happen overnight for everyone

It’s a biggie no one really talks about but for the majority of people trying to conceive, it takes work. We’re talking on average, six months to a year of regular unprotected sex. Yep, it turns out, there’s a fair bit of trying involved in this trying for a baby malarky, after all. It’s a whole lot of joint sex calendars, fertile windows and peeing on a stick.

If you need to stop reading after this point for your own mental health, we welcome that kind of self-care. Reading about pregnancy and birth might not be what you need at this moment in time but equally, it might serve as a sign that things do work out, babies are born, pregnancies do happen and there is hope. Check in with yourself. How do you feel? You have permission to slope off at this point if it gets a little much.

Get yourself a pregnancy pillow like, right now

The pregnancy pillow hype is real. If you’re suffering from back pain, allow this humble sausage to work its magic. Made of pressure-relieving material, it will provide unique support around your belly, lower back, pelvis, knees and ankles throughout your pregnancy. This one comes highly recommended!

Wear flight socks

Relieve swollen ankles by wearing flight socks or stockings under your clothes. Genius. Nobody’s gonna know (said in TikTok voice).

Get yourself a decent sling for crying out loud

You wear your baby more than you realise and your back is going to need all the support it can get. We asked Maddie, our very own motherhood expert, for her carrier recommendations and she loves Amawrap, Baby Bjorn and Ergobaby.

Pamper yourself, obviously

Take some time to unwind and let a prenatal massage help with the pains and strains of pregnancy.

Pregnancy massages may seem like a luxury but let’s not forget, you’re growing a human here. Your body is going through a lot of physical and emotional change and now is not the time to feel guilty about your chosen method of self-care. Book in a few massages and bloody well enjoy it. Milk it for all its worth – you deserve it.

And talking of massages…

From 32 weeks, you’ll need to start getting very familiar with the area between your vagina and your bum three to four times a week, otherwise known as the perineum. Perineal massage, or birth canal widening, has been clinically proven to help prepare the perineum for childbirth, making it more flexible so it can stretch easier during labour. We don’t think there will be any danger of you falling asleep in this massage but it’s gotta be done if you want to reduce the risk of tearing.

You can either do it yourself or get your partner to help if you feel comfortable. Nothing like a bit of hands-on bonding.

NB: If a partner is helping you out, they should use their index fingers instead of their thumbs.

Freeze your maternity pads

For postpartum pain relief, nothing offers more support down there than a soothing padsicle (frozen maternity pad FYI) smothered in aloe vera gel. It reduces swelling and encourages the healing process after vaginal birth.

Bodysuits are your best friend

Winnie the Pooh is cute but sometimes you don’t really fancy your bump crowning out of every t-shirt you own. Enter the bodysuit. Comfy, excellent coverage and supportive. A friend indeed.

Cabbage leaves to the rescue

It’s true what they say about the healing powers of a cold cabbage leaf. Keep them in the fridge and whack them over your boobs to help with pain and breast inflammation that may occur during breastfeeding. You can use red or green, but green is best if you don’t want to deal with stains or discolouration on your nursing bra.

When prepping your cabbage leaves, rinse thoroughly, pat dry, remove the stem and cut a slit down the middle. You want it to remain in one piece with a gap in the middle to wrap around your breasts without covering the nipples. Kind of like a nipple wig. You can keep them on there for a good 20 minutes or until they start getting warm. Cabbage soup, anyone?

Take prenatal vitamins

Eating a balanced diet of lean meat and leafy vegetables will ensure you get most of the vitamins and minerals you need but it’s difficult to get the recommended amount of folate (natural form of folic acid) from food alone. The NHS recommends you should take a 400 micrograms folic acid tablet every day from when you’re trying to conceive until you’re 12 weeks pregnant.

Liver is fortified with Vitamin D but should not be eaten whilst pregnant due to the high levels of Vitamin A which can be harmful to an unborn baby.

Keep a pregnancy diary

Make a scrapbook or keep a pregnancy diary for your baby to have when they’re older, full of all the memories and moments you’ll never want to forget from scans to cravings and things that were happening when they were the size of a pomegranate. Show them how they turned your world upside down in the best possible way. Got-to-go, there’s something huge in my eye all of a sudden.

Do your pelvic floor exercises

Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles by squeezing as though you’re stopping your flow whilst you’re going for a wee. Squeeze for three seconds, relax for three seconds and repeat 10 times, ideally every day. The best part? You can do your pelvic floor exercises (aka kegels) anywhere and no one will know. Queuing for coffee? Have a little squeeze. Waiting for your midwife appointment? Perfect time for a little tactical keg.

Try the NHS Squeezy app (£2.99) designed by chartered physiotherapists & the specialised strength and fitness programme, MAMMAWELL Method designed for pregnancy and postpartum bodies.

You can never have enough big black pants

After birth, you’ll be living in big black comfy pants, so stock up early doors.

And nursing bras!

SO many nursing bras. M&S came up trumps when it came to bras that make breastfeeding that little bit easier.

Orange peel is a precious friend

Carry a tub of orange peel in your handbag to sniff when you get waves of sickness – sure, you might get weird looks when you’re in the office, but the smell of orange peel and citrus fruits can help alleviate nausea so give ‘em hell kid. A lot of people also swear by ice lollies, ginger and chewing gum / mints too, so they might be worth a go if you’re looking for something a little more discreet.

Bananas before bed

Sounds like a charming children’s bedtime story but really though, eat bananas before bed. When you get those dreaded calf cramps in your third trimester, a banana knows what to do.

Mamo Mio for skincare

Expertly formulated to nourish and soothe growing bumps, the Mama Mio Tummy Rub Butter is packed full of natural plant-based goodness to increase skin elasticity and protect delicate sensitive skin. We’ve yet to meet a mum who doesn’t love this stuff.

Try a belly band

Like a bra for your belly, these handy undergarments are cleverly designed to help the lower back and abdomen during pregnancy. This one from JoJo Mamaen Bebe is particularly good for supporting your bump and your back whilst working out but there are other styles to wear all day under your clothes.

Spritz your Bits

If we’re talking hospital bag essentials, you need Spritz your Bits in your life. This multi-award winning midwife developed spray can provide instant relief for sore bits both after birth and during pregnancy. It’s also particularly great for that first post-birth wee, so we hear! Store in the fridge for extra oomph. Your vagina, vulva and ya perineum (the whole gang basically) will thank you for it.

Hypnobirthing

To prepare for any kind of birth, look no further than the digital hypnobirthing pack by The Positive Birth Company. They’re on a mission to make hypnobirthing accessible and affordable for all, wherever you are and whenever you’re free. The antenatal program is priced at £39 and designed to empower women, birthing people and their partners to create positive birth experiences with lifelong benefits.

Try a TENS machine for pain relief in early labour

A TENS machine is a small, hand-held, battery-operated device, worn on the body to relieve back pain in early labour. It works by sending mild electrical pulses to the sticky pads on your lower back to distract you from the pain, though it’s not effective for everyone.

There’s no need to buy one, most chemists will hire them out and your hospital will usually have them, too.

TENS isn’t safe for everyone to use. Don’t use it without first seeking medical advice.

Use nipple covers for your belly button

Belly buttons get pretty extra in pregnancy but it’s nothing a nipple cover can’t sort. Stick a reusable silicone nipple cover over your belly button and voila – no more rubbing on irritating fabrics.

A water bottle with a straw and time markings

When you’ve got a million things to organise for the arrival of your tiny human, the simplest of things can be left off the list. Like a water bottle with a straw – great for pregnancy, labour and breastfeeding. The time markings on this one allows you to keep an eye on how much water you’re drinking, which comes in very handy once the baby is here. BF thirst is a whole other kind of thirst.

If you’re struggling to stay hydrated or you’re feeling nauseous, try a low-calorie squash instead.

Make a birthing playlist

Everyone’s got their power tracks to get them in the mood to push so girl, take it to the bridge and get that baby outta there. Whatever birth you’re having, a playlist of birthing bangers will be a welcome bit of ambient noise.

Take your birth plan with a pinch of salt

Whilst it’s good to have a plan, nature doesn’t always like to stick to it. Go with the flow as much as you can and be kind to yourself. Everyone has an idea of the dream birth scenario with no pain relief and plinky plonky music but every birth is different and however you end up bringing your baby into the world, that’ll be the right plan for you and your little one.

Sleep with something you’re going to give your new-born

Whether it’s a muslin or a cuddly toy, nothing will comfort them like the scent of their mama. No, you’re crying.

Don’t bother with maternity clothes

Stick to baggy one size jumpsuits and stretchy dresses that’ll serve you all the way through your pregnancy.

To get the most out of your jeans, use a hairband looped through the buttonhole for extra room. No top button, no problem!

Stretchy sports bras and bra extenders are a great alternative for those who don’t really want to splash out on pregnancy undies, too.

Mist your face

Pack a calming face mist or just fill up a spray bottle with water to spritz on your face whenever you want to cool down or freshen up during labour.

Pack a long cable for your phone

Hospital rooms were not designed with phone charging convenience in mind. Cheat the system by going long with your charging cable so you’ll always have enough juice to supply the family with baby spam. 

Make sure you have enough snacks

Forget the baby grows, do you have enough snacks to see you through? A mum’s gotta eat.

Batch cook freezer meals

Prep a few frozen dinners to see you through those first blurry weeks of motherhood. It’s one less thing to worry about and your future self will thank you for being organised.

Have you got any sage motherly advice or must-have products? Let us know in the comments below!

If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed at the prospect of getting out of the house in ‘normal’ clothes (RIP our well-loved loungewear, gone but never forgotten) then staying simple with your ‘fit but adding 10/10 accessories might be the place to start for cool but effortless-looking attire. Jeans and a nice top never did us wrong before the pandemic, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Simpler looks offer the potential to add fun bags, jewellery, shoes and hats and can take a timeless outfit into 2021 trends in an instant. Great for the planet and our bank balance!

Hair accessories are having a real moment of late, adding a 90s twist to your look and a playful, flirty addition that can be tied in with your make-up too for the ultimate in cool-girl chic. If you’re seeking a refresh on the classic accessory front then look no further than your sunnies collection- because you best believe a burst of heat will be hitting us in May (manifesting) and no one wants to be unprepared for beer garden season and golden hour photo opportunities. Add a funky pair of shoes- whether you’re a trainer, sandals or heels kinda gal- and get ready to sashay into town for Mojitos on tap and al fresco dining at every opportunity. Spring has got us feeling fabulous!

Darcey

I am really enjoying accessorising with hair clips and scrunchies at the moment, they require zero effort for styling but look really cute! Bucket hat season is also upon us and I am loving this off-white one from Nike. Can never go wrong with a pair of chunky black sandals too on those warmer Spring days (currently snowing as I type this but we move). I like to accessorise with fun jewellery too and these rings from Frasier Sterling have caught my eye with their fun designs.

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN rectangle hair claw in milky tort, £8 

*ASOS, Nike bucket hat in off white with logo, £24.95 

*ASOS, RAID Wide Fit Amylia chunky grandad sandals in black quilt, £24.99 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN scrunchie in baby blue sweat fabric, £5

Frasier Sterling, Smiley Gal Ring, $30 

Danielle

I love a good summer accessory, there’s no feeling better than heading out with a beach bag (with a bottle of wine in) your fave sunnies and a spring in your step. I think white trainers go with pretty much everything and they’re a great gateway between winter boots and full-on sandals. I’m not picking up many 90s trends but I’m all for a crocodile clip coming back in fashion, they’re so much better than tying your hair up and don’t leave a kink if you wanna let it down later on!

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN hair clip claw in mono resin, £6 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN recycled frame square sunglasses with tort blocking, £12 

*H&M, Non-medical face mask, £9.99 

*H&M, Canvas beach bag, £17.99 

*Net-A-Porter, VEJA + NET SUSTAIN Esplar rubber-trimmed leather sneakers, £90 

Partner in Wine, The Partner in Wine Bottle, £35 

Charlotte

I LIVE for an Extra accessory and the spring/summer season is my absolute favourite time of year for them! Crocs are a very marmite choice but I got some in the summer of 2020 and have honestly loved them ever since. TikTok seems to have given them a bit of a revival too and I’m very here for it- the little jibbitz are so CUTE. I’m also a big hat fan and this oversized bucket hat looks perfect for days on the beach or reading in the park. Finally, I love a novelty piece of jewellery and this spicy lil necklace from Mango is perfect for the heatwave I am currently manifesting.

*Mango, Crystal bead necklace, £17.99 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN recycled frame narrow square fashion glasses in daisy print, £12 

Zara, BUCKET HAT, £17.99 

Crocs, Classic Crocs Sandal, £19.99 

 

Holly

I’ve only just realised the power of a hair accessory, to hide my shit hair and to make myself look more put together. I never normally accessorise so it’s rare that I’ll buy myself some new ones but these caught my eye. Brighton colours and flowers are the way forward for ultimate spring vibes.

*Urban Outfitters, Floral Snap Hair Clips, £10 

Carrie Elizabeth, Moonstone Supernova Ring In Gold Vermeil, £90

*Kurt Geiger, MINI FABRIC KENSINGTON, £139 

*Vans, VANS MADE WITH LIBERTY FABRIC OLD SKOOL TAPERED SHOES, £75 

Lareese

Despite the fact I just know I’ll look like a toe in a wig, I’m in the market for a spring hat and this straw number is one distinguished gentleman. Just in case the hat does me dirty though (incredibly likely), I’ve got the best kind of backup accessory in the form of this Ajouter Store hair clip. I can’t wait for picnic weather to be here so I can swan about in a field somewhere with my basket bag, a french baguette and a bottle of wine without a care in the world. 100% wishful thinking when we had snow a few weeks back but I’m ok with being your friendly neighbourhood optimist.

*Mango, Leather sandals with straps, £49.99 

Straw London, Fran, £85 

Ajouter, SIMONE LOOPED LILAC, SAGE GREEN, MILKY WHITE LARGE CLAW HAIR CLIP, £19.99 

*Harvey Nichols, LACK OF COLOR Scalloped Dolce wide-brim straw hat, £160 

 

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If you’re a big reader, you’re probably familiar with all the niche quandaries that come with such a relaxing hobby. 

First there’s the problem that keeps us up at night, the nightmare that consumes our lives – we are of course talking about the devastating realisation that we’ll never get through all the books we want to read in our lifetime and there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it. Alexa, play R.E.M. 

Then there’s the small matter of our ever-growing TBR (to be read) pile which, come to think of it, isn’t so much of a pile as it is an interrogating high-rise reminder of how problematic we are as humans. Give us a calming, largely horizontal hobby and we will find a way to turn it into a stressful Goodreads vertical challenge but that’s a can of worms to crack open on another day. 

Which brings us to the third reading-related conundrum – the moral dilemma of where to purchase our beloved books. Fortunately, out of the three, this one’s a hell of a lot easier to solve, thanks to innovative profit-sharing booksellers like Bookshop.org

We all fall into idle habits here and there, regularly sourcing our reading material from cheap, goliath online retailers who can have your order signed, sealed and delivered before you’ve even blinked but there’s a whole other world of online booksellers we’re missing out on and Bookshop.org is one such gem.

Set up by Andy Hunter, the writer and co-founder of Literary Hub, the online bookshop is on a mission to make buying books easy and convenient for everyone but not at the expense of small and local independent booksellers. At the time of writing, Bookshop.org has generated £1,229,094.48 for local bookshops since its UK launch in November, providing an ethical and more transparent alternative for those who love the ease of shopping with Amazon. 

Nicole Vanderbilt, UK managing director at Bookshop.org, told the Guardian, “Our mission is to support indie bookshops precisely so that as many people as possible can continue to shop directly from them.

“We are in this to ensure that indie bookshops continue to exist and thrive in a world where consumers are increasingly buying online. There is simply nothing like the experience of shopping at an independent bookshop.”

It makes it easy to buy your treasured tomes at the click of a button whilst financially supporting local indie bookshops at the same time. That’s a recipe for a feel-good read right there!

If you need any more convincing to change up your book shopping habits, keep reading. 

It makes buying books a breeze

Whilst binging on blurbs, chatting in whispered tones with fellow bookworms and catching the whiff of a new-born paperback in a physical bookshop might be an unparalleled shopping experience, one doesn’t always have the time to lend to that kind of haul, especially when the most charming bookshops are usually off the beaten track. 

Shopping directly is undoubtedly always the best way to support your favourite booksellers, but Bookshop.org has created a close second best, making it possible to buy books online whilst continuing to support your favourite local bookshops from the comfort of your own home. Throughout the pandemic, it has also provided an essential storefront for booksellers who were forced to shut and did not have the resources to run their own ecommerce website. 

If you want to order a book online from one of your favourite local bookshops, you can find them on the map and Bookshop.org will ensure they receive the full profit from your order, so despite not stepping foot in store, you’ll be showing your local bookstore some serious love. 

There’s no fomo like book fomo but with all your reads in one handy place and delivered within two to three days, your only worry is finding a place for them all to live. 

It’s dedicated to supporting indie bookshops

How does it work? Indie bookshops can create their own virtual shopfront using Bookshop.org. All the partners who sell books using their platform will earn 30% of the cover price from each sale. When a sale is made but not attributed to a specific bookseller, 10% of the cover price goes into an earnings pool that will be evenly distributed among participating independent bookshops. 

You can discover rare reads & new voices

Bookshop.org champions authors from all over the globe, allowing you to discover stories you’ve never heard of before. Booksellers at indie bookshops help to get new authors and emerging voices out there into the hands of book lovers they wouldn’t have been able to reach otherwise. From armchair travel to International Booker Prize titles as well as curated reading lists from some household names such as Marian Keyes, you can broaden your horizons and give your TBR pile the shake up it needs. 

Bookstagrammers can turn their favourite hobby into a business

It supports anyone who advocates for books through their affiliate programme, which pays a 10% commission on every sale, and gives a matching 10% to indie bookshops. 

If you are an author, a website or magazine, have a book club (s/o to us – we’ll come back to that in a minute), an organisation that wants to recommend books, or even just a book-lover with an Instagram feed, you can sign up to be an affiliate, start your own shop, and be rewarded for your book addiction. You’re welcome. 

We’re a Bookshop.org partner!

The Zoella Book Club has joined Bookshop.org as one of their partners. So any book mentioned within our articles you’ll be able to shop in one convenient place. Not only will this make it easier for our lovely Book Club community to read along with us (or jump ahead if you’re keen) but it means that, alongside advocating for books & new authors, we can champion local independent bookshops, too. 

Show anyone with a vagina a pair of period pants and watch them reclaim their cycle.

The period, pee and perspiration proof Modibodi undies keep whatever’s happening in our pants firmly under wraps, so we can go about our day with confidence and dignity, all whilst sparing the planet of needless plastic disposables.

From bladder leaks, discharge and little sly wees that sneak out mid-meme – it happens to the best of us – to blood, sweat and tears (probably, if our vaginas could cry), Modibodi has your back.

Modbodi garments fit like regular underwear and are made with their Australian patented breathable Modifer Technology ™ – a slim (3mm), absorbent, stain-resistant, odour fighting liner.

What’s more, a small percentage of every purchase made by a customer goes towards providing products for menstruators in need, through their Give a Pair initiative. So that’s you, the planet and a person in need, all benefiting from the impact of this humble reusable underwear. That’s the kind of feel-good flow we want in our lives.

Let’s not sugarcoat it, periods can be lame and painful, we hear you, but one thing they’re not is gross, and something tells us that bleeding freely into our pants is as unapologetic, sustainable and convenient as menstruation can get. Hey, bodies leak but your pants don’t have to!

Naturally, as a team of proud menstruators and chronic oversharers, we couldn’t wait to put the Modibodi underwear to the test and write about it on the internet for our We Tried series.

Read on to find out how we got on.

Shop Modibodi Here!

Lareese says…

I am here for period pants. Tell the world. Initially, I thought there’s absolutely no way anything is going to come close to my beloved menstrual cup but having tried them both and put each of them through their paces, I think they can’t really be pitted against each other like that. They both serve a purpose in my period arsenal.

I’ve got a bit of a rota going on with my reusable period wear. On day one, when I’m not quite f-l-o-w-i-n-g enough to fill my cup to the brim, the Light-Moderate Class Full Brief pants are first on the scene. They’re like an impeccably behaved toddler – so suspiciously quiet and sensible, I barely know they’re there. Then on days 5-7 (I’m a week-long period kinda gal, don’t hate me ’cause you ain’t me) when I’m lighter again but don’t want to risk taking my eye off the ball only for my period to get a second wind, they’re ideal for waving off my cycle.

Overnight, I don’t tend to be all that heavy but the Heavy-Overnight Classic Boy Short gave me all the comfort and reassurance that, come morning, once I had ya know stood up, I was safe to carry on with my day without having to cup my vagina in a race to save my pyjamas. Always a precarious journey to the loo that.

As a die hard tampon fan (before I jumped ship to reusables) one thing I did have to get used to was ‘the feeling’. With the cup you don’t feel anything, you just go about your day and empty it when it’s been 8-10 hours or so, usually in the shower. With the pants, you feel it coming babe, and that takes some getting used to. It’s revolutionary though because here you are, bleeding into your pants and just remaining absolutely chill about it. It goes against everything we’ve been conditioned to fear and dread as women, and that’s incredibly liberating. For so long, bleeding straight into our pants was the code red situation we were always trying to avoid but here we are rewriting that rulebook and I’ve gotta say, I stan primal periods.

I also want to add that I had a day of working from my bed in the Maxi 24 Hour Sleep Shorts, candle on, Classic Fm blaring, eating sushi in my period pants and I felt like a real badass woman haha, so I would recommend doing THAT for the real Modibodi magic.

I wish these products were available when I started my period. Other than the obvious sustainability benefits, it also just feels pretty cool to be more connected to the inner workings of my body. There’s something so cloak and dagger about disposables, from shoving tampons up your sleeve to spare the red-cheeked patriarchy to ripping sanitary towels out your pants every 4 hours just to replace it with a clean white but ironically toxic plastic duvet, it’s all a load of BS.

Something about doing your body laundry really appeals to me. Rinsing my period pants under the shower or emptying & boiling my menstrual cup, is not the chore I thought it would be. It’s quite therapeutic in a witchy way. It’s made me more in tune with my body and its natural quirks.

I’d be keen to test the period pants when we’re not in a lockdown because despite wearing them all day at home and even running round the park and hiking in them, I’d like to see if I’m plucky enough to wear them dusk till dawn on day 2/3, preferably in a pub garden when I let my guard down. That’ll be the real test.

I would say the sizing is a bit on the snug side but I wonder if that’s to offer the best protection against leakage in which case, I’ll take slightly snug all day long over menstrual panic. The initial up-front cost can feel like an investment when compared to your average box of tampons but when you weigh up how much you’ll save over the course of your menstruating years, it’s a great swap to make, both financially and environmentally.

I’m going to carry on using period pants on my lighter days alongside my cup for the heavier days and one things for sure, I’ll never be getting back with disposables. Bleed on, bitches, bleed on.

Holly says…

I didn’t have high expectations for these period pants but I was so wrong! Honestly, I am BAFFLED. WHERE does the blood go? I’ve used a mooncup for a few years now and thought it was well suited to me, didn’t really see the point of switching it up but thank goodness I did.

I have the typical textbook period. Once a month for 7 days. I usually start off quite heavy and it gets lighter after about the fourth day. I wore them on the lead up to my period to prevent leakage because you never know exactly when it’s going to come. And they were super comfy and I actually didn’t even realise when I had come on. Very different to sanitary pads where I was always so self-conscious and worried I would leak.

On the second day of my period, because I absolutely breezed through the first day, I thought I’d try again, when I’m usually the heaviest. This time I tried the sleep short style in skin colour. Again, I was sceptical because if I leaked you’d definitely see it on a skin coloured pair. But nope, nothing again! Absolutely flabbergasted.

They’re also quite pretty. The thought of period pants makes me think of the gross old pair at the back of your knicker draw, that you only grab when you’re really heavy, but these were actually really nice! I always feel like shit on my period but these were such a nice fit with a nice bit of lace detail, I felt substantially less gross than normal.

I do wonder how long they’ll last, as even after one wash they aren’t as comfy. They are also a higher price point than I would usually go for, so would hope they last a while. I can imagine you’d want new ones after about a year and in the interest of being eco friendly, you can keep the moon cup for literally years, so that’s worth considering.

I think going forward I’ll definitely be using a combination of the cup and the pants. Especially towards the end when you’re not super heavy, they’re just a lot more comfortable. I would recommend everyone trying them out for themselves!

Darcey says…

Well, well, well, when you think you can’t be swayed by another period product, here comes Modibodi! I honestly didn’t think I would get on with the period pants after using the cup for a while and overall enjoying the experience of using one. Before I start my review, I must add that I had started to face a couple of minor issues with the cup. I realised I actually have quite a low cervix, so this meant my cup would suction to it quite easily, which was fine as I could grab it, but not that comfortable to remove. I also started to find that on lighter days using a cup wasn’t ideal, so I was using sanitary towels again for those lighter last days of my period, which kind of went against being more sustainable by using a cup. But saying this, I still overall enjoy very much the experience of using a cup.

So let’s get into the Modibodi review! My period is bog-standard, I’m usually on for about 5 days, the first day is pretty light/medium, followed by a couple of days of heavy flow, then gradually it lessens as the next 2-3 days go by. I wore the period pants for a couple of days leading up to my period as I’m never 100% certain when I’ll come on, it’s not quite like clockwork yet after coming off the pill. When I did start my period, I was pretty surprised about how much these pants could hold! I had the shorts which are designed for a heavy flow and nightly use, they said they can be worn for 24 hours, so I put them to the test. On my heaviest day, I whacked those bad boys on in the morning and I left them on till the next morning when I showered and changed my underwear for a different pair. There was no leakage, no sense of sitting in your own period blood either, the blood just disappears?!

The shorts and the classic briefs are super comfy, I got a size 16 but actually think I could have gone up a size as they do seem to shrink ever so slightly in the wash, nothing major but something to keep in mind if ordering a pair. I have ordered some more of the lacy pairs to try out, but I expect they’ll be just as comfy! The amount of blood these pants can hold is extraordinary too, I would feel no fear wearing them all day out the house. My periods are medium/heavy, so wearing the heavy pants for the day worked perfectly for me. They are easy to wash and dry pretty quick as well considering how much liquid they can absorb. I really wish I had something like this as a teen as I think these are so great for someone who is just starting their periods too.

For me now, I’m in a pretty good routine of wearing my Modibodi pants for the most part of my period, especially while I’m still WFH. I use the cup for days I want to wear an outfit that requires smaller and seamless underwear and the cup will be great for Summer and getting in the sea etc. But actually, I’ve found myself a bit converted to the period pants, they are just really fabulous and super comfy, all-round great product for a more sustainable period!

Danielle says…

Up until last year, my period products were pretty limited, it’s something I didn’t think could get any better so I just kind of stuck with what I knew (tampons) occasionally leaking, running out, and generally hating my time of the month.

All of that changed when I started using a period cup, I couldn’t believe how much more it would hold and how it was so much less… messy for lack of a better word. I started to come round to the idea that all these products created for menstruation might ACTUALLY have been created to help me.

I know after the cup revelations that I wanted to try period underwear and that was for a few reasons. I haven’t ‘bled freely’ since I was a teenager so I was interested to see what that was like (spoiler alert, empowering but gross), I wanted to stop using something on the days at the start and the end of my period, and I wanted to have an extra layer of safety on heavy days when using the cup.

I was sent a classic brief shape and the night shorts and for my first trial period, I washed them both once after a day of wear to get the most use out of them and try them on every day of my period. The first day was fantastic as this is usually the day I’m fairly light but I’d still have to use something so it was so nice to just chuck them on and not worry about changing a product or ruining a pair of my knickers, I also kept them on through my first night knowing day 2 would be a lot heavier.

For day 2 I switched to the shorts and BOY do they soak up pretty much everything and anything. Where does it all go? They are basically magic. This is usually my heaviest day and it was so interesting to not have anything ‘inside me’ as it were. It was quite empowering, just feeling it all and understanding how often I was bleeding but it got to a point in the afternoon where I was over the feeling and wanted my precious cup back in.

I wore the shorts that night and had absolutely zero worries about leakage, I’ve seriously never worried less, blood getting out of that situation would be like escaping from Alkatraz, the combo is full-fucking-proof.

I decided to carry on the next day with my cup and briefs and it was heaven for pretty much the same reasons. It just feels so great to not have to worry I honestly would have been happy blasting out the house in white jeans. 13 year old me was rejoicing at the lack of fear my period held over me.

The final day I went back to just shorts and this may be one of the BEST times to wear period underwear. The final day where you have to wear something but you’re so over shoving something inside you and simply don’t want to carry on doing it. You can’t feel anything coming out of you and you don’t have to worry about making a mess. I’m so pleased I’ve got a routine with my period that I’m truly happy with and I urge you to break out of your comfort zone and invest in finding something other than the standard tampons because I guarantee you there are products out there you’ll love and will make your time of the month so much more enjoyable.

If your thinking about trying out period underwear go for it, grab one pair and experiment with wearing them on different days of your cycle to find out what you like and what you don’t. Consider this inspiration to head out the nest on your menstruation journey, fly my beauties!

Shop Modibodi Here!

*This article is not part of a paid promotion however we have worked with Modibodi previously and the products reviewed were AD – Gifted

If Miranda Priestly didn’t deem florals groundbreaking for Spring, then we pose the second most wonderful print: gingham. Straight outta a British, cottagecore dream, gingham comes in many shapes, sizes and colour ways making it the ultimate evergreen trend during the Spring season. Triple points if you coordinate with your picnic blanket for all the outdoor socialising fun. 

Primark has been the subject of Instagram Stories aplenty since shops reopened on the 12th April, and their selection of gingham delights is another reason to stick out those queues. Zara McDermott looked especially chic in this turquoise co-ord* from the icons at Primark HQ along with a ravishing selection of other £8 gingham goodies. Meet ya at the checkout!

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?

Thank you for asking! We are good thanks…2021 has been a whirlwind so far. The last few months have been about finding our balance, as we’ve both spent the last 6-8 months trying to run Daily on top of our full-time jobs. Kit actually left her job in April to focus more time on the business, which has been a real gear change for us. It makes such a difference having dedicated time on Daily and it has allowed us to level up and get strategic, rather than constantly being reactive. We’ve got so many amazing products in the pipeline for 2021, and we can’t wait to share them with you.

Can you tell us about Daily Flame and the products you produce?

Daily is an earth-conscious homeware brand; we create and design products that are good for the home, mind and planet.

What inspired you to start your business?

We were both searching for the same high quality, conscious products and shopping experience that we couldn’t find elsewhere. Our mission is to create a community of like-minded people who are passionate about their home and planet too. The real progress happened when we started dedicating two hours a week to meet and discuss next steps… dividing tasks and coming back with our findings. That would be our biggest piece of advice to those wanting to start their own business… you need to religiously schedule time in, otherwise, it’s hard to make things happen!

A lot of businesses started during the pandemic, why do you think it was such a good time for a small business to boom?

For us, the extra time was everything! With socialising and commuting out the window, we had our evenings and weekends free to dedicate time to growing Daily alongside our full-time jobs, which we were fortunate enough to still have during the pandemic. With so many people sadly being made redundant or placed on furlough, they were also able to turn their hobbies into their own fully-fledged businesses, which we love because it has increased the breadth and uniqueness of products available to buy online. There was also a huge push to support small businesses in 2021. As a customer, it’s empowering to know that we have the power to vote with our money, and make a tangible impact on someone’s life by choosing to shop small where we can.

A lot of your products focus on the female form, why do you think this has become such a big trend?

For us, it’s about reclaiming our bodies, as well as encouraging women to break away from societal pressures and unrealistic, unachievable ‘ideals’ that are fed to us predominantly through the media. Our products are designed to help our customers embrace and accept themselves and all of their wonderful, beautiful quirks.

What is the process like for imagining a product and seeing it come to life?

We are constantly searching for inspiration, whether that’s from articles, magazines, pinterest, but also things we think and feel. For example, our (soon to launch) glassware collection was inspired by our desire to reconnect with loved ones this summer, after such a long time apart. Daily products are designed for and by our customers… so our next step is customer feedback. This often includes short polls and questionnaires on our IG stories – to get an idea of what our customers need and want before progressing any further.Once we have an idea that we are excited about and our customer needs, we research how we can create it in the most sustainable way. Then we test and re-test on small customer groups until we have a product we can be proud of.

What are your top 3 tips for starting a business?

Just start! Don’t worry about the finer details, don’t obsess over the little things… just get the ball rolling

Know your brand values and never falter from them

Stay focused on your brand, your ideas and your customers. It is so easy to feel inferior or compare yourself with other brands, but we firmly believe that there is space for everyone!

What are you currently working on?

In May we will be launching our upcycled glassware collection, with a major focus on reconnecting with your besties and loved ones after what has inevitably been a difficult year. Sneak peek coming so soon on @dailyflame__! 

Who are some of your favourite fellow small businesses?

There are SO many we love, but if we had to pick here are our top 3x…

Mood Good Jewellery

Als Place

Nii Hai

What does your perfect weekend look like?

Kit:  I love a movie night with our girl friends, long walks in the sun, going out for a nice meal or to the theatre and then I’m a sucker for a self care Sunday – bath, face mask and Gu Pud vibes all round. 

Vez: A yummmyy meal out on Friday (with a few glasses of red ofc)… a long walk on Sunday, with our pals heading over that evening for a roast!

What do you always carry with you?

Kit: Sweets! I have the most ridiculous sweet tooth, you could honestly find sweets in every single one of my bags. I just never know when I might need a sugar fix, you know?!

Vez: Water… that’s probably really boring and practical, but I always have a reusable water bottle on me.

What would your last ever meal be?

Kit: Oh this is hard! I’m not much of a foodie, but definitely a pudding gal.. I’d probably say a biiiig pizza with all the cheese, and then a chocolate fondant pud with mint choc chip ice cream.

Vez: Pad Thai and a mars ice cream… deeeeeelish!

What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?

GO FOR IT – if this is the sign you need, whatever it is you’ve been putting off, waiting to do, too worried to begin, you can do it we totally believe in you!

Follow Daily Flame on Instagram here!

We don’t need to tell the vagina-owners in the room that the clitoris is our sexual pleasure capital. Literally, its sole purpose is to exist to feel good and we respect that kind of thirst.

Despite what porn and the movies would have you believe, the majority of women and people with vulvas cannot reach orgasm through vaginal penetration alone. Say it louder for the people at the back.

Sixty percent of vulva owners in the UK say that clitoral stimulation is key to climax with a partner, whilst 64% say it is key to climax during masturbation.

To sum up, then: our clitoris is a big, huge throbbing deal – touch it enough times and sure enough, a genie will appear and grant all your wildest wishes, so why is our most powerful pleasure spot so misunderstood?

Let’s circle back to sex education for a hot minute. Traditional sex ed does an excellent job of neglecting the importance of pleasure in sex, particularly where women and vulva-having people are concerned.

It’s no coincidence that we grow up confusing our vulva and vagina because the female anatomy is only ever defined against the a heteronormative, penetration-centric societal norm but we are so much more than a semen bag-drop or child-bearing receptacle, my friends.

In a study commissioned by Smile Makers at the end of 2020, surveying 1,000 of women over the age of 20, only 12% said they had received a sex education that had equipped them well to understand their pleasure and 78% did not have access to either pleasure-positive sex education or other sources of information on the topic of pleasure.

We’re calling out traditional sex ed – time to get with the programme (that’s pleasure-based sex ed btw) and give our clitorises the airtime they deserves.

Clitoracy – The Mission to Make the Clitoris Known:

To fully understand clitoral orgasms and their pleasure-giving superpowers, we need to get up close and personal with our anatomy. Contrary to popular belief, the clitoris is much bigger than the little nub we think it is, like an iceberg, there’s a lot more going on under the surface. It is a sprawling underground empire, equipped with 8,000 nerve endings. That’s nearly twice the amount found in the head of the penis but please, do carry on teaching us about wet dreams and boners.

As the clitoris swells in size upon arousal, it can press against the anterior wall of the vagina around an area known as the G-spot. As the current state of science explains it, it is an erogenous zone through which both the vagina and the clitoris come in contact. This is why internal stimulation can partly be clitoral stimulation as well.

Setting the record straight on clitoral orgasms vs vaginal orgasms:

Turns out, they’re all one and the same after all (a school bell sounds, your work here is done, you can all go home). Vaginal orgasms are often credited as the best type of orgasm – we can all blame Sigmund Freud for that one – but as the vast majority of us who can’t reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation would suggest, those elusive vaginal Os are pretty hard to come by. Literally. In fact, according to a study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, a whopping 75% of us need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.

Recent studies have pooh-poohed the idea that two types of orgasm even exist and that however they happen, it’s always down to the clitoris. Just how much land can one clitoris own?

That’s not to say vaginal orgasms are a complete fabrication, they’re just a fairly rare phenomenon and the credit almost certainly belongs to – you guessed it – ya golden girl, The Clit.

Technique:

When it comes to stimulation, everyone has their own modus operandi. Some people like the whole palm of the hand to be involved, for others, it’s a combination of less pressure and soft touches or intense vibrations directly on the clitoris. Each vulva-having person has their preferences and there’s no rule of thumb (or finger, or vibrator) where your pleasure is concerned, which is why communication and experimentation is basically what’s going to get you all the way to tingle town.

Don’t be afraid to explore what makes you feel good whether you’re going solo or enjoying coupled sex. Pleasure can be found in all kinds of mysterious places, from using the flow of water from the shower head to making your pillow work hard but play harder. Get curious! There’s no right or wrong way to get your clit-kicks.

Best positions for clit stim

Stroking, massaging, vibrating and licking can all vary in intensity depending on your position. Some people find having their legs totally relaxed and stretched out gets them there, while others prefer being on all fours or on their stomachs against a pillow they can rub against. There’s no magic formula for clit stim.

During penetrative sex, clitorises can often get ignored and we do not accept that kind of neglect around here. There are plenty of positions you and your partner can have a go at to make sure your clitoris is always front and centre.

The Snake – lie on your front and stimulate your clitoris with a toy or your hands whilst a partner or a dildo enters from behind, let them slither in. Sorry, we’ll see ourselves out.

Spooning – whether it’s you or your partner reaching round, there’s plenty of access to the clitoris in this intimate position, just make sure you go full open sesame style with that top leg so your clitoris isn’t smuggled away. It’s basically a glorified cuddle and we’re here for it.

Downward doggy – now there’s a yoga move we’re heavily invested in. Lower your chest to the bed, keeping your hips raised whilst your partner or dildo enters you from behind. Your partner can reach around and stimulate your clitoris or you can pleasure yourself with your hands or a vibrator of your choice.

The Bridge – admittedly, the one’s not for the faint-hearted because it’s basically a Les Mills body conditioning class but getting into the bridge position with your back resting on the bed and your feet flat leaves your clitoris wide open for action.

Reverse Cowgirl – using your hands to balance, lean back so your partner can reach round with their fingers and caress your breasts and clitoris. Yee-haw.

Clit-block the shame game

We are so sick of women and vulva-owners carrying shame – shame for masturbating, shame for menstruating, shame for not being able to reach orgasm, it’s a tale as old as time isn’t it?

And whilst we’re on the subject of orgasms, how IS the Duke of Hastings lately? We’re a nation in mourning after the tragic Bridgerton Season 2 news and we’re going to need him to drop some fresh material as a matter of urgency.

If you’re anything like us then you’re probably feeling somewhat unfamiliar with the daily make-up wearing drill after a year of tinted moisturiser only, outgrown brows and lacklustre skin in need of some serious Vit D. But the fun of playing with both old and new favourites is back in business baby as we head out into the world with our best bronzed face forward …

Zoe

I’ve been having a good old spring clean with all my makeup and checking on use-by dates and throwing anything out that has definitely been in my stash for far too long. (side note, check the dates on your products) So I replaced a lot of my old lipsticks and some of my favourite formulas are the too faced melted matte ones and the Stila ones. I ordered a new bottle of my It Cosmetics CC+ as it’s so lovely for Spring and Summer. I ordered a new tube of Hourglass Unlocked mascara which is my current go-to, I love it! I also treated myself to a new lip balm because the Chai Spice was calling to me.

*Cult Beauty, HOURGLASS Unlocked Instant Extensions Mascara, £29 

*Cult Beauty, TOO FACED Melted Matte, £20 

*Cult Beauty, IT COSMETICS Travel Size Your Skin But Better CC+, £14 

*Feel Unique, Hurraw Chai Spice Lip Balm, £4.99 

Holly

I’m not really one to try out new makeup so I pretty much just buy my staples when I’m running low, so that’s what this consists of. I ran out of my foundation recently so needed a top-up, my absolute foundation of dreams is the bare minerals original loose powder foundation. I thought it was time to treat myself to an upgraded eyeshadow palette in time for festival season, I absolutely love the range of colours in the revolution palette. I go through lipstick and lipliner like nobody’s business so brought the colour Beet from MAC recently. I also spritz the Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush flawless setting spray like it’s going out of fashion so needed a new one of these too.

*Mac, LIP PENCIL, £15.50 

*Bare Minerals, ORIGINAL LOOSE POWDER FOUNDATION SPF 15, £29 

*Charlotte Tilbury, AIRBRUSH FLAWLESS SETTING SPRAY, £15 

Superdrug, Revolution Maxi Reloaded Matte Rainbow Eyeshadow Palette, £14.99 

Darcey

Now that life seems to be returning to (somewhat) normality I’ve wanted to refresh my makeup a bit after not really making many purchases in that department for the past year! NYX are my go-to for brow and eyelash mascara, it’s super affordable and works really well, especially the mascara which doesn’t smudge (I’m an oily gal too and even that can’t budge it). Of course, I am always invested in a hype product, Fenty Beauty’s new Eaze Drop Blurring Skin Tint sounded right up my street. I don’t like wearing foundation, especially in the Summer because I’m oily and also sweaty haha! So something lightweight sounds perfect for me. I also couldn’t resist picking up a concealer as I’ve heard great things and of course an iconic Gloss Bomb Lip Luminizer.

*Beauty Bay, NYX PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP TINTED BROW MASCARA, £6.50 

*Beauty Bay, NYX PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP WORTH THE HYPE VOLUMIZING & LENGTHENING MASCARA, £9 

*Harvey Nichols, Fenty Beauty, Eaze Drop Blurring Skin Tint, £25 

*Harvey Nichols, Fenty Beauty, Pro Filt’r Instant Retouch Concealer 140, £19 

*Harvey Nichols, Fenty Beauty, Gloss Bomb Universal Lip Luminizer – Sweet Mouth, £17 

 

Danielle

I’d guess about 99% of my makeup purchases are influenced from beauty gurus online. It’s the only way I find out about new things and they’re always so complimentary I get sucked in, however, I will say most of the time I love them. I haven’t been a blush wearer for years but obviously, everyone else is all over it so I went for this hybrid (more like a highlighter) from Fenty Beauty in the shade – Girl Next Door / Chic Phreak. It’s so pretty and the perfect gateway to make me buy some more pigmented blush. Next up is the Charlotte Tilbury Flawless Filter which I apply under foundation for that gloooow, it’s lovely, also great as a highlighter or to mix with foundation. Little mascara top up with one of the greats, it needs no introduction! Constantly on the search for a powder that just sets my face without it looking matte and cakey so giving the Laura Mercier Translucent powder a whirl. Also picked up a gloss from, would you believe it, Glossier in their sneaky 50% off window (was it on purpose? will we ever know?!) as I’m over matte lips and I just pop it on top of any lipstick to give it more shine, I feel much more Gen Z and therefore COOL.

*Harvey Nichols, Fenty Beauty, Killawatt Freestyle Highlighter Duo, £28 

*Cult Beauty, CHARLOTTE TILBURY Hollywood Flawless Filter, £34 

*Cult Beauty, TOO FACED Better Than Sex Mascara, £12 

*Cult Beauty, LAURA MERCIER Translucent Loose Setting Powder Travel Size, £20 

*Glossier, Lip Gloss cushiony glassy shine, £11 

Lareese

I went so long without buying any makeup that I’m now at the point where everything needs replacing all at once. I’m all about my base products and can happily forgo eye makeup which definitely shows in my weekly wants! I’ve gone all out on brows (couldn’t resist the Remy brow kit, will report back) and glow-giving formulas – some newbies and some holy grail huns. Also, confession: I haven’t replaced my eyelash curler in about 10 years so thought it was about time I put that right.

*Glossier, Boy Brow grooming pomade, £14 

*Charlotte Tilbury, FILMSTAR BRONZE & GLOW LIGHT TO MEDIUM, £49 

Refy, BROW COLLECTION – MEDIUM, £40 

*Look Fantastic, Kevyn Aucoin The Eyelash Curler, £17 

*Cult Beauty, NARS Air Matte Blush, £26 

*Cult Beauty, BY TERRY Cellularose Brightening CC Serum, £61 

Charlotte

I haven’t worn makeup consistently in so long and let me tell you TikTok has me EXCITED for fun graphic liner and all over blush looks. I hadn’t heard of Glisten Cosmetics before but saw them on TikTok and I’m obsessed with how creamy and easy their liners look to apply. Water-activated liner is new to me but it looks fab and I’ll definitely be ordering multiple colours. Some classic products I’m in need of stocking up on are my ultimate Nars Sheer Glow Foundation and the Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray which honestly makes the perfect base. I can’t be going back to the office and to the pub without them- they’re my ride or dies. Cream products are really intriguing me right now as I’ve never really used them before but for glowy, summer skin and eye looks I’m very into it and adding them all to cart rn.

*Look Fantastic, NARS Air Matte Blush, £25 

*Cult Beauty, NARS Sheer Glow Foundation, £35 

Glisten Cosmetics, Strawberry Wet Liner, £6.50 

*Cult Beauty, URBAN DECAY All Nighter Setting Spray, £12 

*Look Fantastic, 3INA Makeup The Cream Eyeshadow, £12.95 

 

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*This post contains ad-affiliate links

TW: we will be discussing calorie counting and disordered eating in this month’s BYAM.

Being human is a complex job title innit? Who knew existing would be this much w-o-r-k. The small print for life really did us dirty.

In the absence of speaking to the HR department for @life who were conveniently unavailable for comment for the rest of forever (honestly, the audacity), you’ve got us, your Between You And Me work wives.

On this month’s agenda we’re gathering by the water cooler to talk whirlwind relationships that have taken a nosedive, coming out when you’re in a hetero relationship, boyfriend doubts and ‘the ick’, final year uni struggles, body confidence and getting that all important break-up closure. Oofff, it’s a biggie.

Stick your out-of-office on hun and grab a glass of fizz, it’s circle time.

Holly

Hello love,

My goodness, I really do feel for you. My whole life I’ve struggled with body image. It’s only recently that I’ve started to love the skin I’m in.

Everyone’s relationship with food and body image is individual and I’m no expert so the last thing I want to do is pretend to give advice. But if it is something that’s playing on your mind a lot, it might be worth chatting to a doctor. They might be able to point you in the direction of someone more specialised.

The way I helped myself, I surround myself with people I know love me regardless of my physical appearance. As you said, all bodies are beautiful but there are, unfortunately, still some very shallow people out there. If I’m around other people who care about their physical appearance too much, it starts to really affect me. I’ve actively asked friends who are on diets not to speak about them around me and don’t entertain any conversations about losing weight or exercising.

I also followed some amazing people on Instagram who are all shapes and sizes and they are so unapologetically them, they ooze confidence and I feel like it’s literally infectious. My favourites are:

@calliethorpe
@aspoonfulofalice
@bodyposipanda

Sending you so much love, and I’m willing to bet good money that you are absolutely beautiful.

Holly

Lareese

Hello lovely,

I’m sorry you’re going through it with your body, it can feel completely all-consuming and exhausting for these thoughts to dominate your life like this, so I’m SO glad you’ve written into us and opened up. I’m not an expert but from what you’ve said, it sounds like in your heart, you know thinness doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. As you said, when you were thin, it wasn’t enough which to me suggests there could be something else you’re dealing with here and that maybe it’s just manifested itself in your disordered eating.

I listened to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast and there was an episode with Sam Smith on there and they were saying that much like our identities and opinions, our bodies never stay the same. They change and fluctuate over time, depending on so many factors whether it’s stress, grief, starting a new job, losing a job, a pandemic the list goes on! I found it really helpful to have it framed that way for me – I don’t know why we put our bodies on such a pedestal when it comes to perfection and weight. We are so much more than that!

In terms of solutions and overcoming thoughts about weight loss – firstly, remember they’re just thoughts. That’s all they are. It may seem like they’ve got a lot of power over you but that doesn’t make them facts. I think it also really helps to try and recalibrate your perspective, too. Check in with yourself! No one is saying being mindful about what you eat and working out is a problem, it only becomes problematic and unhealthy when you use those things against your body. So why don’t you flip the script? Why not make exercising about moving your body to feel good, not to lose weight or achieve a certain unattainable body type. Reposition your goals to be about feeling happy and content. I stopped working out to look a certain way a long time ago and I can’t tell you how liberating it is. I’m 30 now but most of my late teens and early 20s were consumed with the same kind of thoughts you’re having and its no way to live.

As Holly said, surround yourself with the kinds of people who champion self-love and body acceptance and who have healthy relationships with their bodies, both in real life and virtually (@Alexlight_ldn and @megan_rose_lane are bloody brilliant). Fill your Instagram feed with the kind of content that makes you feel good about your body and who you are as a person, rather than the posts that make you feel inadequate and if that means muting some people or unfollowing, so be it. Your mental health is important!

Also, don’t be ashamed to go out there and get professional advice if you’re feeling totally overwhelmed by it all – talk to someone who can help arm you with the skills and coping mechanisms to manage those self-destructive thoughts and behaviours. You don’t have to accept this as your life, you deserve to love your body and thrive in it. Loving yourself is an inside job and it takes constant work but you’ll definitely get there. Sending you lots of love X

Charlotte

Gahhh this is so hard. Just from reading this, it’s taken me back to a lot of similar feelings I had in a previous relationship so I really feel for you because it’s not a nice place to be in at all and can really get under your skin. It sounds like it’s been a bit of a whirlwind from the start and as circumstances meant things did move quite quickly then perhaps that has accelerated these issues and meant your partner has ended up feeling a bit suffocated, which it sounds like you have felt to some extent too. Despite this however, there is no excuse for him not openly communicating this with you and instead leaving you having to question these things and have it taken out on you. If he was feeling like he wanted to slow things down intensity wise, it sounds like you too would have been really open to this conversation, which makes it all the more frustrating that he is being rude and passive-aggressive towards you. I think regardless of if he’s feeling trapped or not, this isn’t the way you behave towards someone you care about and it’s not something I would personally feel bodes well for the future.

I totally understand where you’re coming from in regards to your mental health too as this can definitely be tricky for some to ‘get’ or know how to handle, but again him just leaving you to deal with these big feelings on your own because ‘he would feel better’ just isn’t cutting it for me. Yes these conversations can be difficult and if he’s not had to deal with this before then maybe he felt anxious himself, but I think it’s immature and doesn’t show effort or care from his side to simply leave you without support. However small that decision was for him to see his friend instead, it’s now set an expectation for you that if you want to be open and ask for support then he’s likely to go in the opposite direction, and that’s not okay. You should be able to rely on a partner, you should be able to lean on them when things are hard, and regardless of if you’re both feeling like you’ve seen a bit too much of each other lately, that is no excuse for evading his responsibility to show basic care and concern for you in a time of need. I hope this doesn’t sound harsh, but I don’t want this to become a pattern of behaviour for him which leads you to feel like it’s better to keep these feelings to yourself and to come to expect a boyfriend won’t be there for you, because that simply isn’t the case.

I don’t think it’s grounds to end the relationship entirely, but I think as he hasn’t taken any initiative to have a proactive conversation with you then you need to take this into your own hands and sit down and discuss it further. You’re perfectly within your rights to outline what you need and expect from him, and realistically he should want to know how to do better in supporting you. Try and gauge his reaction and see if he shows any sort of remorse for how he’s been behaving, and if not I hope you’re able to put yourself first and know that you are never, ever, a burden and do not deserve to be made to feel this way. Your feelings and needs are SO valid, and I don’t want you to feel like you ever need to suppress them. Lots of love and luck and remember you’re no.1. Hugs

Danielle

Hello love! Thank you so much for writing in and sorry to hear you’re having a complicated time with your boyfriend. I think firstly it’s worth acknowledging that your relationship probably moved pretty quickly (they so often to at Uni) due to COVID and spending so much time together one on one. It’s a hyper-focused situation a bit like a holiday romance where you have not had to deal with much outside pressure and now you’ve come across something you perhaps disagree on and you’ve realised this person might not be completely as you thought they were. It’s super easy to get along with someone and stay happy when you don’t have to face anything together, the hard part comes when you have to tackle something together that isn’t easy, in this case, this would be your mental health and anxiety at Uni. Which I should say is completely valid and I know from personal experience how out of hand it can get. If you want a partner that you can go to and talk to about this kind of thing (as appose to family or friends) you’ll need someone who is emotionally intelligent and is sensitive enough to listen to your worries if you need to vent and help you problem-solve if you want to change something. Making a massive assumption that you guys are standard Uni age, it’s not super common that men this age are equipped to deal with what you need them to, so it may mean that your partner needs a little coaching through, making sure he knows how important it is for him to be there for you and how you like to be heard when you’re going through something. Communication is always key! If I’m going to play any kind of devil’s advocate I would say it’s also important to ask permission before you unload on someone else, men are significantly more likely than women to suffer in silence and we are after all, still in the midst of a global pandemic. Perhaps his mental health has not been so great recently and going out for some fresh air with a friend is something he really needed at that moment? Something to think about, I obviously have very little information so take that with a grain of salt! Keep communicating and telling your partner what you need, if you still get the feeling he’s not going to be there for you and your mental health it might be time to call it a day or make a more casual arrangement with him. There’s a saying that goes – when people show you who they are believe them so if your gut continues to tell you something is off make sure you end things so you don’t waste more of your time and energy. And for what it’s worth you will get through this stressful time of life, I found post-uni life working full time much easier than education, clearer skies are coming <3

Holly

Hello lovely person,

I really feel for you. Working out your sexuality is hard in any situation, let alone when you’re in a a relationship.

I think the main thing is to not put too much pressure on yourself. Theres so much emphasis on labels, but it sounds like you’re not sure how you feel at the moment. Don’t feel like you have to label yourself at this point, or ever. You can just like who you like.

I like how open minded you are, in admitting that you’re just curious to see what it might be like. It sounds like you need to have an open and honest chat with your current partner. Discuss how you’re feeling and come to a decision together. It might be that you can go on a break while you figure out how you feel. It might be that you go back to him, or find that

Break ups/breaks will always be hard. Theres no way round it. And theres literally no easy way to break the news to him, but if you’ve been feeling like this for a while, I’d be surprised if he didn’t know something was up. You aren’t responsible for his happiness, only for your own. And you’ll feel so much better what you have the conversation. Just make it very clear how you’re feeling, that you’re not sure if you want to be with him. Not that you don’t.

Go at your own pace, and please let us know how it goes!
Sending you lots of love,

Holly

Darcey

Hello anon, I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of this, my heart breaks for you as how you have been treated is so unfair. I must admit, it all sounds pretty shady, doesn’t it. Hiding his messages, not telling you who he’s speaking to and coming up with all these random elaborate stories (how many family emergencies can one person have?!). I do agree with you though, all the aspects do add up to him potentially cheating. I find him being in a new relationship 6 weeks later, with someone who lives on the street he was at the night before he broke up with you veryyyyy suspicious. So, no I do not think you are being unreasonable at all for thinking this. I think anyone in the same situation as you would feel the same.

I spoke to a guy for a while a few years back, we were never official, but it seemed as if it could go that way, till one day he stopped replying to my messages (full-on ghost mode). It was only when I checked his Facebook, we weren’t friends on there, I saw his picture was him with his ex, who was now no longer the ex! That feeling of being blindsided and not knowing why they did this is so, so hard and I wish I could give you a big hug. The problem in these situations, is you don’t usually get an explanation, mainly because anyone who would treat another person like that is so incredibly childish and selfish, they don’t think they owe anyone an explanation.

As difficult as it is, this might be a situation you don’t find closure from your ex. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have closure. Take back control in your own life, find a way to forgive them and let go. Even if you do find out what happened a week before you split up, I can assure you it won’t make you feel any better, it might even make you feel worse. Having this information won’t change what has happened, that’s why it’s sometimes better to just let go. This won’t happen overnight, but I promise as the days pass, you’ll care less and less. You deserve so much better than that and you deserve true happiness with the right person. One quote that always helps me in difficult situations is – “you can’t control the things that happen to you, but you can control the way you react to them”. Wishing you all the best in the future, Darcey X

Lareese

Hello lovely!

Trying to complete your final year at uni in the middle of a pandemic must be seriously tough. There’s been a lot of disruption with seminars moving online and you’ve been robbed of all that face-to-face support you’d usually benefit from with tutors and friends, so I’d be worried if you weren’t feeling stressed and anxious to be honest. You’re only human, and this year has been A LOT so don’t write yourself off as the ‘not cut out for uni’ type – no one was cut out for what we’ve all just gone through. Add studying and trying to pass exams into the mix and you’ve got the recipe for emotional burnout.

Be kind to yourself – nothing about your final year has been normal so of course, you’re going to be struggling. Your friends are in the same boat and you should absolutely lean on them for support if they’re mentally available for that. If you’re worried they don’t have the capacity for it (you’re a good friend), you can always approach it sensitively and just ask if they mind having a chat. Explain that you’re struggling and see where they’re at, too. It might actually be a relief for all of you to hear that you’re feeling the same way. Likewise, if they aren’t in the right mindset to listen due to their own mental health, you don’t have to suffer in silence. Is there a tutor you can speak to or a university therapist, perhaps? Don’t be ashamed to reach out for support. We all react and cope differently to change and stress, and it sounds like you’ve still done your absolute best to keep going. That’s huge!

This is the final push and there is no feeling quite like that final day at uni with a free summer ahead of you. Make looking after yourself a priority, whether that be having a bath, going on a long walk or seeing your pals and get planning a few things that get you excited for your future. You didn’t come this far for nothing and you certainly didn’t get here without some kickass determination. I believe in you, even if you don’t.

Lareese Xx

Darcey

Hi lovely! Firstly, feeling stressed and struggling to juggle everything in final year is absolutely not an overreaction, final year can be so stressful, and it is super full on. Especially with Covid added to the scenario, you are a real trooper and I am so proud of every university student who’s had to do their degree in a pandemic. Also, look how far you have come! You are at the final push and trust me once you get that degree, all the tears, late nights and stress will be worth it.

You are absolutely cut out for university; I think you are experiencing a bit of imposter syndrome but think about why you did that degree and where you want that to take you. Keep the next stage of life in mind, whether that be getting a graduate role, masters, a year off, keep all the fun that is to come in mind!

I’m sorry you are experiencing some difficulty in your family life, but your friends will absolutely not see you as a burden and speaking to them might be beneficial for you all to let off some steam. Sometimes just knowing you aren’t alone in a situation makes you feel so much better.

I’m assuming your university term will end in a few months and then you will be free and able to enjoy a fairly normal summer! Try and organise some fun stuff for once university is over with all your pals as something to look forward to, having plans always helps.

You have 100% got this and I have so much faith in you! All the best, Darcey X

Charlotte

Okay, the short answer here would be no, you’re definitely not with the right one. I don’t think it’s the case that you should never doubt a relationship because I think it’s only natural when committing to someone to think about the ‘what ifs’ and your life trajectory, but the feelings you’ve described and the doubts you have are not the foundations of a strong relationship. It’s great that he’s been so supportive and reliable in your mental and physical health ups and downs because that really is so important, but don’t let that cloud your judgement or skew your other feelings or concerns, because really him caring and supporting you is the bare minimum you can expect from a long term partner.

Secondly, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the term ‘the ick‘ but from what you’ve described it sounds a little* bit like what you’re experiencing in terms of the physical touch and intimacy side of things. It depends how important sex is for you, because if you’re happy just not partaking in this so often then maybe it’s just an adjustment in your sex drive, but if you actively feel uncomfortable (being the key word you used here) then I really, really don’t think that’s something to be pushed aside. You should feel 100% relaxed and comfortable with a partner, and the fact this feeling comes up even with him touching you in both sexual and non sexual ways is not a great sign in my book. Maybe your heart are confused about your feelings towards him as it sounds like he has a lot of great points, but it sounds like your head is giving you very clear signals that you do not want to be around him or close to him any more than necessary. You mentioned at the start of the dilemma that you trust him completely, but then said you don’t fully trust him because of his unfaithfulness before, and I think again this just shows that maybe you want and have a desire to feel a certain way, but it just doesn’t translate with his actions or the reality of the relationship.

Comparison wise I really wouldn’t worry about not comparing to the greats of films or social media as so much of that is either works of fiction or you’re not getting the full story, but I think in some way you should feel a little sense of magic around him, which is maybe what you’re referring to in terms of movies. Social media is really not what it seems most of the time- I’ve definitely posted photos from weekends away with my ex after big arguments or cried before having a photo taken- it’s just not always reality so don’t forget that. I think it will take you a while to come to a conclusion or decision with this as he’s been such a big part of your life for many years, but all I can say is don’t disregard your feelings or concerns because they mean something, I promise. xxx

*”‘The ick’ is a dating term that means you get a sudden cringe feeling when you have romantic contact with someone: and become almost immediately put off by them,” says dating expert Hayley Quinn. You might feel suddenly repulsed, put off or cringed out by the person you’re dating – that’s “the ick” talking”.

Danielle

Heya! Thanks so much for writing in, I think the bones of what you are asking are so common in relationships around the 5-year mark and a lot of our audience may have asked themselves the same thing. I’m sure you know this but you really can’t compare your relationship to others on social media and movies, it’s just not healthy and those relationships are not real, they’re simply a combination of the best bits with the rest filled in by your imagination. But I’m guessing you do this because you think something is missing in your own, it’s tough when you know you’ve got a great boyfriend but you can’t fully let yourself be happy, it’s like you know deep down you’ve settled for a good relationship whilst thinking you could be in a great one. Your partner sounds amazing bar the obvious things you’ve mentioned, not much sex in the last year – maybe you guys don’t have a high sex drive, maybe you’ve been turning down his advances because you’re no longer romantically attracted to him? You also kind of threw in the previous cheating at the end, are you definitely over that? Could going off him be some kind of self-preservation so you don’t get hurt again? It’s important to analyse your feelings as best you can, maybe talk to a therapist, therapy can be something short term to focus on a specific area of your life, you don’t have to be divulging your childhood and going every week for eternity ha! I think something else you’re considering is how much he helps with your CFS and mental health, it’s so easy to become reliant on your partner and it’s hard to think about leaving them and all the good they provide you behind. The grass isn’t always greener when it comes to leaving relationships behind, but sometimes it is… and the fact you still have so much respect and admiration for your partner means it’ll always be harder for you to let them go for this big romantic love that might be out there. I’ll also say you’ve lived together for what could possibly be seen as the hardest and most boring year of life in the last few decades. You haven’t been able to go anywhere and enrich your life with food, travel, fun, the list goes on. It’s easy to start over analysing your life and wanting more, wanting some kind of progress and wanting to feel intense happiness you see on social media and movies. Try not to think about finding “the one” (there isn’t one, there are hundreds of people out there for you!) but making sure you’re happy with someone in the moment. If your happiness to continues to wain move on, don’t focus on finding this one true love, it’s an unrealistic thing to find and we’ll always leave you disappointed.