Fruit Salad Fashion! 24 Colourful Pieces To Brighten Up Your Wardrobe
Take the trend all the way with some novelty embroidered knitwear or a ribbed vest top perfect for beer gardens and picnics, or nod more subtly to the fruity feel with a colour-blocked 'fit and accessories- the possibilities are endless!
Inspired by the ever-excellent Mr Styles, we’re feeling Watermelon Sugar (high) with this week’s edit, sharing the best tutti-fruity designs and colour palettes to nail that high summer look. Primary colours are your best friend when it comes to embodying the pick of the fruit bowl bunch, and if you’re feeling extra ‘extra’, try clashing those shades too- red, green, yellow and blue are interchangeable as you please!
Take the trend all the way with some novelty embroidered knitwear or a ribbed vest top perfect for beer gardens and picnics, or nod more subtly to the fruity feel with a colour-blocked ‘fit and accessories- the possibilities are endless! Which fruit salad shade will you be rocking into August and beyond?
Author of our August Book Club Pick 'Olive' Emma Gannon shares her inspiration for the novel, and what she's up to at the moment.
First of all how are you and how have you been coping in 2020?
Like everyone I’m sure, I’ve generally been feeling very up and down. The ‘coronacoaster’ is a real thing! One day I am having an existential crisis about the world ending, and the next I am feeling incredibly calm and grateful for this ‘great pause’ on our lives. I have definitely felt a deep anxiety, but I’ve also felt the closest I’ve ever felt to my friends and family. I’ve also adjusted my work schedule, reflecting on my new goals and decided to be less busy. It’s been quite the year already, hasn’t it?
We’re super excited to start reading Olive for our August book club, what was the process for writing a fiction novel like?
I’m so excited to be included in your book club, thank you! Writing fiction was a totally different experience to writing my non-fiction books. For starters I wrote the whole book before pitching it to publishers, whereas with non-fiction you can normally sell the book on a proposal, get paid and then write it. It was definitely a labour of love, and a bit of a creative risk to spend so much of my time on something that might never have seen the light of day, but it was all worth it in the end!
What inspired you to write Olive?
When I turned 30, I started realising that I had never really given motherhood much thought — my friends were suddenly taking to try for babies or talking about wanting children one day, and I just felt like it wasn’t something I was drawn to. In December 2018, I posted a tweet asking for child-free by choice women to get in touch as I was researching the topic. I thought maybe it would be a short article, but then I heard back from hundreds of women. The more I explored the topic, the more I knew this was going to be my first novel. There were so many meaty conversations I wanted to have, and so my four characters Bea, Cecily, Isla and OLIVE were born.
Do you think you’ll be writing more fiction in the future?
Yes definitely! Once all the OLIVE craziness has calmed down a bit I’m going to start writing another.
What’s your advice for someone who wants to write for a living?
Write, write, write! Write for fun, write for yourself, write for your blog, just keep doing it and try not to be too self-conscious. I think someone once said ‘writing is like playing the piano’ you have to keep doing it to get better over time and exercise your writing muscle. I wrote every week on my blog in my twenties, and although most of it has now been deleted, it all added up along the way.
What are you reading at the moment?
I just read Girl A by Abigail Dean, a tense psychological tale of a group of siblings all overcoming a traumatising childhood. It’s a bit darker than my usual read, but I couldn’t put it down — I literally stayed up until 2am finishing it. It’s out in January and I think it’s going to be the book of 2021.
We’re keen listeners of your podcast Ctrl Alt Delete, what is the process like for picking guests and deciding what to discuss?
It’s a bit like editing a magazine in a way —watching which conversations are happening, including newsy hooks, new films/books or noticing what important topics could use a platform. I feel incredibly lucky that I’ve now interviewed a lot of people on my ‘dream list’. I think it’s important to use a podcast to spread useful messages. Recently I’ve been discussing diversity in podcasting; different perspectives on motherhood, domestic abuse charities and classism in journalism and always on the lookout for new ideas.
What are you currently working on?
I have a new non-fiction book called SABOTAGE coming out in September! All about overcoming self-sabotage and getting out of your own way.
9. Who are some of your current favourite follows online?
My AirPods because I’m constantly listening to podcasts. One I’m really enjoying at the moment is Might Delete Later.
What does your perfect weekend look like?
A long walk (maybe somewhere like Hampstead Heath), followed by a delicious roast with friends in a pub with red wine, then a bath, clean sheets and a good book in bed.
If you could only eat one meal again what would it be?
Dinner at the Tandoor Chop House in Covent Garden.
If you could give one positive message to our followers what would it be?
Follow your gut instinct — deep down you have your own internal compass, you don’t have to follow the crowd if you don’t want to.
The 90s vibe of a one-shoulder silhouette conjures up the cool-girl nostalgia of the Spice Girls and double denim era and is a shape we'll be coming back to again and again this summer season.
Post isolation evenings have looked cooler than with these one shoulder gems in tow, adding a little oomph to a day-to-night ‘fit and extending your usual ‘jeans and a nice top’ options for dinner and drinks galore.
There’s something seductive about that extra bit of skin peeping out
There’s something seductive about that extra bit of skin peeping out, making them a great grab and go option for the times you want to look effortlessly put together.
The 90s vibe of a one-shoulder silhouette conjures up the cool-girl nostalgia of the Spice Girls and double denim era and is a shape we’ll be coming back to again and again this summer season.
Lareese
I love how versatile this silhouette can be, perfect for showing some skin in the summer and dialling up a daytime outfit, whilst still keeping things minimalist. I’ve gone for this simple white one-shoulder jersey with light denim jeans and chunky sandals for an understated everyday outfit that’s as good for the morning coffee run as it is for brunch with the girls. Paired with a trench coat because you know how those British summers like to go.
Now I’m going to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about one-shoulder tops. The last time I wore one I think I was about 10. It had diamantes and a flared sleeve and I think I paired it with flared trousers, a metal belt and a denim baker boy hat (that probably ALSO had diamantes haha). I’ve gone pretty paired back and “safe” with my choice! A black body with a two-strap-on-one-side-jobby. I’d probably wear it with these paper bag utility shorts and some sliders!
I’m still loving all things lilac so this look is centred around some comfy but statement trousers I picked up from ASOS recently. They’re so flowy which means the one shoulder fitted tops works super well in adding some shape and dimension to the look, plus I love that it feels very 90s! Dressed up with some cute accessories and I’m ready for drinks or dinner in no time!
I recently purchased this one-shoulder top from Weekday and I love it, it’s really flattering and goes with so many outfits. I’ve styled it with some longline denim shorts and some Birkenstocks for a fun casual daytime look. I also found this bag on ASOS which is giving me SERIOUS Bottega Veneta vibes, but for £22, bargain!
I’ve gone for this one-shoulder body as it’s got a bit of drama with the flounced sleeve and I hate it when tops ride up! I feel like wide trousers are going to keep making their comeback and these ones with the splits are perfect for summer. Have finished the look with lovely lavender trend-focused pieces.
8 TV Shows & Films To Watch If You’re Missing Office Life
For those of us now fluent in working from home, you’re probably a little bit OVER IT. At first, it was a novelty that came disguised as midday showers and pyjama-bottomed Zoom calls, but after four long months of it, we’re more than ready to play footsie with our colleagues again.
Remember that little table setting? The one full of all manner of miscellaneous objects including but not limited to nail varnish, parched highlighters, a stress ball shaped as an arse and a little dying love fern? It was called the office.
For those of us now fluent in working from home, you’re probably a little bit OVER IT. At first it was a novelty that came disguised as midday showers and pyjama-bottomed Zoom calls, but after four long months of it, we’re more than ready to play footsie with our colleagues again. We miss awkwardly stumbling upon their feet with our feet and loling about it because what else is there to do when your feet just slow-danced together?
We miss coming up with something deeply profound for whoever’s birthday it is that month: ‘HBD, have a good one’.
We miss plotting to get our favourite pen back from our co-worker after letting them borrow it 2 years ago.
We miss collectively standing up to gather at the window to stare at a pigeon or reprimanding the hands of time for passing too quickly. How is it 3pm already? waves of shock disperse from desk to desk. One colleague falls off her chair for dramatic effect
We even miss the smell of hot fish on the turn in the microwave. Take us back to the days when tepid tuna was as turbulent as life got!
If you’re missing office culture as much as us, we’ve pulled together a few tv shows and films to see you through until that sweet workplace reunion comes around in August.
Ugly Betty
Fresh out of college, a bespectacled poncho-wearing Betty Suarez – who really isn’t ugly at all – lands the role of assistant at Mode magazine. Thrust into the superficial world of models, bitchery and office backstabbing, she faces many highs and lows along the way but ultimately, this is a series about the triumph of the underdog.
Parks & Recreation
A character-driven mockumentary, starring the legendary Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope, the enthusiastic workaholic and deputy director of the Parks & Recreation Department in Pawnee, Indiana. The show follows a weird and wonderful bunch of bureaucrats as they attempt to change their small-town community for the better. Highlights include Ron Swanson and his pyramid of greatness and gay penguin weddings.
The Office
Whether you watch the American version or the original British version, this motley crew and their hilarious 9-5 misadventures will be sure to fill your computer chair void.
The IT Crowd
The IT Crowd would rather spend their days actively avoiding all work. Guitar hero, prank calls, jousting with mops – we like their idea of team building activities tbh. If you don’t miss the office after watching this, try turning it off and on again.
After Life
The series largely centres around grief and learning to navigate life after loss but there’s some gloriously relatable sketches of office life throughout, including miserable birthdays, unfathomable weirdness and brilliantly executed small talk. Ricky Gervais at his v best.
Silicon Valley
A revolutionary data compression algorithm… it hardly sounds like a hoot does it? But you’ve got to hand it to these socially awks IT-nerds, they’d make your Mondays better AND they’d know exactly what to do when the Wi-Fi has a breakdown.
The Intern
A seventy-year-old retired, bereaved and benevolent Ben Whittaker, played by Robert DeNiro, applies to a senior citizen intern program at a fast-growing fashion start-up. He tidies his boss’ desk, he cries into his fluffy white robe and he always carries a handkerchief in his pocket at all times in case YOU need it. It’s heart-warming stuff. Petition for every company to have an in-house masseuse, thank you please.
The Devil Wears Prada
Anne Hathaway’s the dowdy, wide-eyed assistant, Meryl Streep’s the ruthless Cruella de Vogue Editor – together they make an unlikely but powerful team, in the end. It’s a cult-classic.
What are you missing the most about being in the office, guys?
24 Dresses To Make You Feel Like You’re Living That French Meadow Dream
Florals for Spring/Summer never get old, and with these floaty, feminine numbers in your stash, you'll be channeling the ultimate South of France dream no matter your destination.
Florals for Spring/Summer never get old, and with these floaty, feminine numbers in your stash, you’ll be channeling the ultimate South of France dream no matter your destination. Textures are key when it comes to nailing that effortless ‘woke up like this’ aesthetic: chiffon, linen, ruffles and a puff sleeve to name but a few of the key tick boxes in dreamy whimsical dressing.
Pair with a basket bag, picnic blanket and barely-there sandals and you’ll look right at home amongst a bed of wildflowers and the gentle buzz of nature all around. Lap it up and wallow in that height of summer happiness brought about by sun on your skin and waves in your hair. French Riviera dreaming: completed it.
Whether you want to get to know your body better, deepen your understanding of the history and experiences of minority groups or educate yourself on issues affecting the LGBTQ+ community, these are the books to work through.
To quote philosopher Francis Bacon, “Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly.” These definitely fall into the to-be-chewed category.
Whether you want to get to know your body better, deepen your understanding of the history and experiences of minority groups or educate yourself on issues affecting the LGBTQ+ community, these are the books to work through.
Legendary political activist Angela Davis charts the history of racial and gender oppression in the United States in this powerful study of the women’s liberation movement.
A powerful, raw and poetic exploration of language, race, sexuality, trauma and masculinity. Framed as a letter from a young Vietnamese man to his illiterate mother, the subject matter is at once shattering and beautiful.
What does it mean to be transgender? This book covers a multitude of topics about the trans experience, from pronouns to Caitlin Jenner, as well as CN Lester’s own experience with identity.
American academic, Robin DiAngelo, shows how wounded and defensive white reactions can shut down vital conversations and uphold white supremacy. If you’re invested in societal change, add it to your TBR pile asap.
The Everyday Sexism project was founded by writer Laura Bates back in 2012. It began as a website to catalogue instances of sexism on a day-to-day basis but quickly evolved into a viral success, credited with helping to spark a new wave of feminism. From discrimination in the workplace to sexual harassment, Everyday Sexism is an important literary protest against inequality and a manifesto for change.
Written by journalist and LGBTQ activist, George M. Johnson, this fearless memoir-manifesto explores the trials and triumphs of the black queer lived experience.
A blistering expose of how entrenched white privilege is in modern society, Saad’s Me and White Supremacy is mandatory reading for anyone committed to doing better.
A classic everybody should read at least once, The Colour Purple is a cultural touchstone of modern American literature. Told through a series of letters spanning 20 years, Alice Walker’s epic broke the silence around domestic and sexual abuse, narrating the lives of women through their pain and struggle, companionship and growth, resilience and bravery.
Told in two distinct and irresistible voices, Junauda Petrus’s bold and lyrical debut is the story of two black girls from very different backgrounds finding love and happiness in a world that seems determined to deny them both.
Boy Erased tells the gut-wrenching true story of author Garrard Conley’s failed conversion therapy. Through an institutionalised 12-step program heavy on bible study, he was supposed to emerge heterosexual and cleansed of impure urges. Instead, he found the strength and understanding to accept his true self.
One of our favourite follows of 2020, we caught up with fashion blogger Karina about pursuing her dream career.
First of all how are you and how are you coping in lockdown?
At first, not very well! After being made redundant from my job and leaving in February, I decided to take a leap of faith and go full time self-employed in March – what timing!
I lost a lot of my jobs and worried a lot about how I was going to support myself and what I was going to do… but I realised I needed this time to figure it out. I gave myself time to think about all the things that bring me joy and for me, that was writing, creating content and working on me, my confidence and personal development. Even though it’s been hard, I know I’ll look back and feel so grateful for the time I allowed myself to work on me and what I want.
Tell us about how you got into fashion blogging?
I started my blog whilst in a dead-end job in 2014. I really didn’t enjoy my job and wasn’t feeling challenged so I decided to create The Style Idealist! It was a space just for me where I had complete creative control and no one could interfere. I would work full time in the week then concentrate on writing blog posts and creating content at weekends….
It has and always will be an amazing form of escapism. I’m so proud that I managed to turn a real sad and negative time with my work and create something for myself.
What inspires you?
So many things! Pinterest, books, movies, TV shows and my family. I try not to get too much inspiration from Instagram as I don’t want to fall into the trap of succumbing to trends. It’s important to be yourself, that’s what makes you unique!
We’re obsessed with your style, how would you describe it?
Thank you so much! I’d say it’s feminine, effortless, colourful and joyful. Forget trends and wear what makes you feel good is my motto!
What do you think is the best thing about social media?
Finding your people and building a community most definitely. When I shared my story about leaving toxic workplaces, the anxiety I felt over turning 30 and not feeling like I had done enough or be where I thought I’d be, I realised that I’m not alone in thinking that. And it’s nice to not feel alone in your thoughts sometimes.
Tell us about some of your favourite clothing brands?
Oh this is a hard one! I would say Daily Sleeper and they’re incredible handmade, 100% linen dresses are incredible and make me feel amazing. I’d also say Kitri Studio and Palone’s have some incredible statement pieces which have a real high quality fit – as a mid size gal it’s not always easy to find quality fitting clothes, so these are definitely my go-to.
How do you shop at the moment and what is your process for discovering trends?
Since lockdown I definitely shop a lot differently now. I don’t feel the need to have constantly new in and focusing on ways to style items. For example 5 outfits with one pair of jeans or a blazer three ways! This way I got lot more wear out of my clothes and less likely to wake up wondering what the hell to wear today!
What are you currently working on?
I’m currently working on a few campaigns with some of my favourite brands – which is such a dream to say (well, write lol). I’m also working on more style content including ‘how to build a midsize capsule wardrobe’, ‘ways to wear’ and writing around personal development in your thirties on my blog – think everything from confidence, acceptable and relationship chat!
Who are some of your current favourite follows online?
@AfricaBrooke
@turning30coach
@ghenetactually
@inmysundaybest
@nicoleocran
@iamkristabel
@fashionenth
What do you always carry with you?
My mask and hand sanitizer – its 2020 after all. Plus usually my book ‘My sister the serial killer’ (it’s SO good) plus a bright lipstick because it always lifts my mood!
What does your perfect weekend look like?
I’m really hoping for a staycation in the next few weeks so right now my perfect weekend would be in the Cotswolds with my husband and cockapoo Cooper. Long walks, good food and great views!
If you could only eat one meal again what would it be?
I’m so torn between pizza and lasagne. I think it has to be Pizza.
If you could give one positive message to our followers what would it be?
Embrace everything that makes you, YOU. It’s also never too late to find and do what makes you happy 💖
Whilst travel might be off the cards, there's no need to sacrifice becoming your best, bronzed and beautiful self with these holy grail picks.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and the serious lack of summer holidays this year means we can’t be the only ones in need of a tan top up?! This week’s edit embodies the creme de la creme of all things bronze- the top tier products you need to perfect your go-to summer goddess look. Whether you’re a matte bronze girl through and through or perhaps partial to the glisten of a shimmer highlighter, there’s nothing better than feeling your best and bronzed self in the golden hour sun.
So whilst travel might be off the cards, there’s no need to sacrifice becoming your best, bronzed and beautiful self with these holy grail picks.
Charlotte
As someone with quite pale skin I was never drawn to Bronzer because I always worried it would look orange- that was until I found one with the right undertones and pigment. I’m obsessed with The Body Shop Honey Bronzer which I use not only on my cheekbones but also as a lovely everyday eyeshadow to add a little something to the look. I also love the Benefit Hoola Bronzer for the days I want a little extra colour or during the summer when I have more of a tan.
Most products I use are powder-based, but this liquid highlighter from Lumene is a must for me in tying a glowy look together!
Bronzed glowy looks are very much in my wheelhouse and it’s my go-to face no matter the season! a couple of these items I use and love like the Nars Radiant Longwear foundation which is so great for a full coverage but still dewy looking finish and Hoola Caramel, a fab bronzer. Liquid highlighters are perfect for that true dewy glow and I’ve heard lots of good things about the Becca Ignite Liquified Light. I’ve also been eyeing up the Natasha Denona Mini Eyeshadow Palettes and love the greens in this one. I’d finish the whole thing off with a gorgeous gloss.
I have tried almost every fake tan out there and I would now consider myself a fake tan master. I have pale skin that NEVER tans, like literally ever, so I’ve always turned to the fake stuff. Bondi Sands OG dark fake tan is the best, I only leave it on for about 3 hours too! I also use the Bondi Sands gradual tanning oil every day after tanning to prolong it, I find doing this makes my tan last about a week and a half before going patchy. For my face I use the Isle of Paradise dark tanning drops, just mixing it in with my daily moisturiser. I find the tan goes quickly from my face due to my skincare routine, so this keeps my face looking bronzed. I also love the Chanel Healthy Glow Bronzing Cream, it’s a mousse bronzer and applies lovely. I also really like the Becca Skin Love Glow Glaze Stick, it gives you shimmery glowing cheekbones!
Both Zoe & Poppy got me hooked on the Chanel Les Beiges Healthy Glow Bronzing Cream and now it’s cemented itself as part of my everyday makeup routine. I’m naturally quite pale so I have to tread carefully with bronzer but this cream-to-powder formula has such a natural finish and buildable coverage. Another faithful favourite is the ByTerry Cellularose in Sunny Flash, it’s like skincare and makeup combined, leaving your skin looking and feeling healthy, radiant and sun-kissed. For highlighting and bronzing all in one, I always go back to Charlotte Tilbury’s Filmstar Bronze & Glow palette for subtle and buildable bronze.
I am reaching for the bronzer on most of my makeup days at the moment. Either mixing the Becca drops with my moisturiser as a base, using the Chanel cream bronzer with a bit of concealer or dusting the bare minerals faux tan all over (including neck and décolletage). I find this bronzer to be the best colour for me, giving a quite natural flushed bronze as it feels like a much warmer and red in tone colour which I think makes it look like you’ve been away on holiday without the harmful rays! On days where I don’t want a full face of makeup, the drunk elephant sunshine drops do a superb job at giving you that fresh summer glow!
Between You And Me: Answering Your Problems Part 6
In this month’s Between You And Me series, we’re answering dilemmas on how to have those important conversations about racism, finding happiness in life, dealing with hair loss, the pressures of adulting and anxiety around going back to the office.
In this month’s Between You And Me series, we’re answering dilemmas on how to have those important conversations about racism, finding happiness in life, dealing with hair loss, the pressures of adulting and anxiety around going back to the office. Who doesn’t love a good heart to heart, eh? Let’s get into our BYAM part 6…
Zoe
Hi Anon!
I’m sorry to hear this is affecting you and your mental health. Divorce is such a tricky thing to handle as a young adult. I was 21 when my parents divorced and it’s an age at which you fully understand what’s going on and your parents feel more able to share more detail with you, often making you feel like you’re stuck in the middle. I think sometimes we forget our parents have lives outside of just being “mum and dad” and it’s often hard to think of them as individuals with their own life paths, goals and opinions. It sounds like your Mum has been on a journey with her sexuality which must have been so incredibly hard at times and the fact that she is now able to live her life being the person she felt she had to hide must be very exhilarating. Much like new relationships for us, our parents probably still get those all-consuming moments of only being able to think about their new partners too. Wanting to spend every waking moment with them and feeling really happy! This will be a huge life adjustment for both of your parents, and something they’ve also got to juggle being a parent around too which is all-new for them. However, I’m sure that if they knew you felt this way, they would both feel sad about it. I think that you should get together (maybe with your sister too) and have a proper chat about it. Make it clear exactly how you’re feeling and be sure to express what you need from this situation. Would you like more time with each parent? Is there a schedule that would work better for you? Be sure to state what would help you and what you would like to change from the current scenario as well as expressing your feelings and thoughts. These things might just take a bit longer to iron themselves out as there has been such a big shift. Nothing will feel normal for a while, and that’s okay. Uncomfortable sometimes, but it will eventually settle into the new normal! In the meantime, look after yourself and make sure you are talking with friends about how you’re feeling and spend time with others who also make you feel happy!
Darcey
Hi Anon!
Just wanted to say first thank you for reaching out to us and asking for some advice, it sounds like you are in a really tricky situation right now and it must be incredibly hard.
I hope I can help in some way as a person who has lived with divorced parents for almost her whole life. My parents split up when I was around two years old, so I’ve never really known any different, but that definitely doesn’t mean navigating their new relationships was any easier.
Dealing with a parents divorce is really difficult, I think being in your early 20’s is probably one of the hardest times to deal with this because you are at an age where you still heavily depend on your parent’s support. So, when your parents find new relationships and have others they need to support, it can be hard to handle at first. I understand too that this must be really difficult finding out about your mums’ sexuality and how she hid it from you all for such a long time. I think you really need to put yourself in her shoes and imagine how hard it must have been for her to keep this a secret for so long and how much harder it would have been to tell you all. However, I don’t blame you for struggling to be in contact with her new partner due to knowing they started a relationship while she was still with your Dad. That must be really hard to deal with. I think in this situation you just need to take your time, let your mum know that you need time to process her new relationship. But, one way to look at it is, is that your mum is finally able to express who she truly is, although hard for you and your sister, she probably is much happier now and hopefully this can be seen as a silver lining from the whole situation.
When it comes to your Dad’s new relationship, feeling like he’s putting his new partner first is totally normal. As much as we hate to admit it as humans, we all can be jealous at times. I have been jealous of both of my parents’ partners at times while growing up and it was never in a selfish way, but sometimes having to share someone you love with someone else can be hard at first. I’m sorry you don’t feel welcome at either of your parent’s houses at the moment, I’m sure if you told them how you felt they would feel incredibly bad they are making you feel this way. I think you should sit them both down together with your sister and express how you feel. I think something else to remember as well is our parents are also only human, and like us, new relationships are exciting and that means they can sometimes get consumed by them.
I think in a few months’ things will start to feel a bit more normal for you all again, but communication in these times is key!
Wishing you all the best for the future,
Darcey
Zoe
Hello Anon! Your message really resonated with me because I have had those exact thoughts on many an occasion. I am a very nostalgic person, so I often think back to the “good old days” and compare the ease of childhood life with today’s adulting and it really gets me right in the feels. Let me first start by saying, absolutely nobody knows what they’re doing. Some people will have an idea of where they want to be in 5 or 10 years, but until those years start ticking by, you don’t really know what path you’ll take for sure, or even how you’ll get there. At the end of the day, you can only ever do your best. We will all grow and learn as we get older and some things will become easier but some will become harder. We’ll make many mistakes, get things wrong and meet many people that will teach us lessons we take forward for the rest of our lives. One piece of advice I would give you would be; never be afraid to ask for help! If there is something you’re struggling with, someone can help you. My accountant is constantly explaining things to me that I STILL don’t understand, but it’s better to ask! When it comes to milestones, don’t put the pressure on yourself. There will always be people around you doing things at their own pace, but you should never feel rushed or forced into ticking things off just because you feel like you should. Your life is YOURS to make; it’s your own story and you are the one with the pen!
Charlotte
Phewww! What a roller coaster of a read this was! I’m 22 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years so I found parts of your story v relatable, but feel so sad for you that the experience has been tainted in what sounds like an otherwise near perfect relationship.
It sounds like both yourself and your boyfriend have tried so hard with her, and I don’t think she appreciates one bit the strain this has put on you guys, nor how mature you are being. Is there anyone else on your boyfriend’s side of the family that you could confide in and ask to help her understand your struggles, without her getting angry or upset? Perhaps if she has siblings or a partner that could help? Whilst this issue is one so personal to the relationship, perhaps she would be more willing to listen if it was coming from someone she couldn’t lash out at or become upset by.
I do think as you continue to get older this issue will ultimately have to change, whether she likes it or not, as eventually you will likely move in together and she will have less control over events like birthdays and your weekends and evenings. As much as it’s difficult for your boyfriend to step in, I really think it’s his place to try and resolve the issue and allow you to move forward- it’s not fair that you feel stifled and that the relationship is suffering, and for things to get better, a conversation needs to be had. If you’d feel comfortable, I wonder if it would be possible for you to all sit down together and discuss it? I know you mentioned she will get upset with your boyfriend, but would the atmosphere and dynamic be different if you were present? If that feels like too big of a step for now, perhaps a letter or text explaining how you feel would allow you to get your worries and upset across without the explosives that could spark from being face to face.
Ultimately she is being incredibly selfish, and no parent should ever cause such upset in their children’s lives, whether they feel a sense of sadness at them growing up or not. This is not an issue that you or your boyfriend have created, and I would hate for her actions to make you question your plans and future together. Stay strong and don’t back down- you will feel so regretful and cheated if this tension causes a divide with you and your boyfriend, and I guarantee the struggles you’re facing now will be far outweighed by the future happiness you’re destined for together.
Stand your ground and don’t hold back in sharing how you’re feeling. Communication is everything and I have hope that one day she will realise the error of her ways.
Best of luck!
Charlotte x
Danielle
Oh wow, this such a frustrating issue, I’m so annoyed for you just by reading this! People having tensions with in-laws is super common and part of joining a new family means having to compromise on certain things but it seems like if you keep letting her get away with being so spoilt it will only get worse. If someone came to me with this issue with a new partner I’d tell them to nip it in the bud quickly and make sure she knows that’s not how it’s going to roll with you. But as you’ve been in the relationship so long and since it started when you were much younger it’s going to be hard to get her to change her ways. Generally speaking, I’d do as best as you can to work around the little annoyances here and there and focus on those bigger days like birthdays and Christmas. Maybe book a trip away for his birthday, or let her know that you’ll be doing X on the day and she’s more than welcome to see him after. I’d also put your foot down if she’s making you change our plans constantly, maybe just giving your partner the confidence to stand up to his mum and work on her together instead of it just being on him. It may take a bit of time but if you keep putting up the fight where you can I’m sure she’ll start to realise her little boy is a full-grown man!
Charlotte
Hi love!
First of all, I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a bit of a tough time at the moment- it can be hard enough battling mental illness without throwing physical symptoms into the mix too so I really feel for you. As someone who also suffers with anxiety, I know how hard it can be when your body acts in a way that’s outside your control- it feels like a real betrayal, especially when you’re doing your best to overcome the struggles anxiety throws at you.
I think there are a couple of ways to tackle this situation and hopefully have you feeling more like yourself again. Firstly, the mental side of things. I wonder if you’re still in therapy or have anyone in your life that you can openly speak to both about anxiety and the general day to day worries we all battle? Therapy works differently for everyone, but I think you’d be doing yourself a disservice if you didn’t put your mental health first and try to get the root of the issue. Therapy isn’t a quick fix by any means, but being able to talk things out with someone impartial might be a step in the right direction to managing your anxiety! The first session always seems scary, but in my experience the further you get into the experience, the more you wish you’d started sooner!
In the interim, there are a few things you could do to hopefully have you feeling a bit more confident and ‘you’, which I have no doubt will make the biggest of differences! Perhaps buy some cute hairbands, master a couple of hairstyles you know look 10/10 or maybe even consider cutting/styling your hair differently to help you feel more comfortable with slightly thinner hair. As someone who also has really thin hair, as well as having lost some due to a bleaching disaster (don’t ask haha!), I completely understand how much hair contributes to confidence and how down it can make you feel. Whilst it’s easier said than done, try and embrace this period and know things can only get better from here, and remind yourself that this is not permanent. You will not be in this position forever and one day you will look back and be so proud of how you handled things.
I hope you’re able to find a way to live the best life possible with anxiety and know that you can still thrive and be happy no matter your hair worries or not.
Lots of love!
Charlotte
Darcey
Hi there!
I’m sorry you are going through such a difficult time; anxiety can be so consuming and especially when you have physical symptoms that make you feel even more out of control of your own body.
One thing I do want to say first though, is that the fact you are addressing your anxiety and having therapy is an amazing step in the right direction. So, I think that you are stronger than you think you are. I started therapy when I was 17 too due to terrible stress anxiety while doing my A-Levels, I am now 22 and although I can’t say that anxiety goes away, it can get better and you learn coping mechanisms to deal with it.
Now onto the physical symptoms. I too lose hair from anxiety, specifically my eyebrows. I’ve never noticed any from my hair so by no means am I comparing my eyebrows to you losing hair from your head, but I do understand how unsettling it feels. In my final year at university, I lost mostly all my eyebrows, it happened so suddenly too it was a massive shock. I would remove my eyebrow makeup and there would be 10-20 eyebrow hairs on the cotton pad, and I would feel sick to my stomach. I went through a stage of permanently having eyebrow makeup on and not removing it, so I didn’t have to see the hair fall out. I researched EVERYTHING, tried castor oil and all sorts. But what I learnt in the end, is it’s just something you can’t control. If your hair is going to fall out, it will and as unsettling that is to hear, it’s something you have to come to terms with because the mindset is everything.
Trust me, I struggled at first and didn’t want to accept hair loss was now one of the many physical symptoms I experienced from anxiety (I get the shakes, pins and needles, heart palpitations, you name it, I’ve got it!). Now I know losing it from your head must feel really scary, but I think discussing this with your therapist would be really great. One thing that I really had to face was that worrying about my hair falling out, was making my hair fall out more from the sheer anxiety it gave me. So, I had to really get myself into the mindset of “it’s only hair, it will grow back, my eyebrows don’t define me”, but of course that didn’t happen overnight.
Castor oil is really great for helping hair growth, I use it on my eyebrows, and it has really encouraged some extra hair growth. You can buy massive bottles of it from most health shops like Holland & Barrett etc. This would be worth a shot! Trying out different hairstyles too that makes you feel more confident is a good way to approach the situation as well. But I think most importantly, it’s finding a way to accept what is happening, but not letting it consume you. Things will get better and this symptom won’t last forever.
Sending you a lot of love, Darcey X
Lareese
Hello lovely! This is such an important and relevant conversation to be having, so thank you for writing to us. I’m sure lots of people are going through the same thing right now as more and more of us are engaging in these conversations with friends, colleagues and family members for the first time. Turns out, it doesn’t take a lot to upset a white person when talking about racism and at times, it seems like an impossible conversation to have but your willingness to work through it and to interrogate white privilege and dismantle white fragility is the kind of progress we need. Given the subject matter, it’s bound to be a bumpy old road but I think being prepared to try and talk and get it wrong is a great place to start. I think tone, respect and trust can make or break this situation. If the other person feels that this is largely a one-way conversation about telling them they’re wrong or a bad person, immediately they’ll have their back up and the opportunity for having that honest convo quickly veers into defensiveness and denial. Telling someone they’re uneducated or wrong is a sure-fire way to shut down the conversation, so try reframing your arguments, asking open-ended questions or hitting them with a fact you read recently instead, to move the discussion forward. People find it very hard to argue with facts and figures, so definitely keep reading and informing yourself further, so you can be as confident as possible when approaching the topic. Consider what are the person is most likely to respond to and tailor your conversation accordingly and if the conversation really isn’t productive and you’re fighting a losing battle, it’s more than ok for you to say, let’s revisit this another time when they’ve done the necessary work to educate themselves. A lot of racism comes from a lack of understanding and unfortunately, not everyone is open to having their opinions scrutinised, in that case, set some boundaries and make it clear to them that it’s not ok for them to speak that way in your presence. Quite often situations like this can be illuminating, and you might find that some people on your Facebook or Instagram really let you down. There’s no real remedy for that blow but I guess, just knowing that their morals no longer align with yours is a pretty good reason to let go of old friendships that will no longer serve you or mirror your compassion. For a lot of families and close circles, this is an entirely new conversation and it’s going to take some time for everyone to work through and navigate. The more we make conversations about racism a regular practice in our households and workplaces, the more comfortable we all get with talking about it, pulling up and calling it out for what it is. Keep having the conversation. Lots of love, Lareese xx
Danielle
Hey Anon, thank you so much for writing in with this, firstly I think you should know you are not alone! Thoughts about not doing enough or not being enough are so common and unfortunately haunt you at any age. It could be a combination of the tv and movies you consume, as well as social media constantly showing us everyone’s ‘best bits’! But rest assured they are fleeting as when you discover what makes you truly happy that is what you need to hold on to. I know you are probably sick of people telling you that you’re so young but you really have so much excitement in front of you and you clearly have the ambition to make something of your self and your life. I’d start by leaning into things that bring you joy, try and find something your passionate about as this is such a good way to make new friends. Maybe think about getting a part-time job, this is another great way to meet new people and start getting those real-life experiences you are craving. Don’t put too much stock in what you think other people are doing, chances are they feel a lot more like you!
Charlotte
Hello!
I have literally never read anything SO relatable in my life. I first started having worries like this when I was about to turn 18, and have struggled with them for the past few years, so I completely understand where you’re coming from. I always felt a sense of anxiety at ‘missing out’ on life’s fun and freedom in my youth, especially whilst seeing friends travelling the world, at festivals or house parties – situations I so wanted to be a part of but was always too anxious to go through with. So first things first, I hope it’s a comfort for you to know that so many others have and will feel this same despair and frustration, but you can and will be able to challenge those feelings, I promise.
I finally was able to push myself to do the things I had been envious of for so long when I realised the repercussions of not making plans and living life to the full was far worse and harder to comprehend than the momentary anxiety in the run-up to the event in question. FOMO can feel so all-consuming, especially when you have that sense of being on the outside looking in, but I promise all is not lost and the small portion of the time you feel has been ‘wasted’ will be far outweighed by the memories you are destined to make in the future. I struggle with the idea of turning 23 this year and feeling like I’ve wasted too much time, but the truth is, we’re both so young! You are realising and accepting these worries and anxieties at such an early stage, and you have the rest of your life ahead of you to make up for lost time and live your ‘best life’, whatever that means to you.
There is no time limit on having fun. We put so much pressure on doing everything under the sun in our twenties, but the truth is you have endless time and opportunities for good news and plans to come your way. YOU have the power to build a happier future, even if right now it feels impossible. Confide in friends and family and allow them to coax you out of habits that might mean you’re missing out on opportunities you desperately want, and challenge your decisions and if they’re putting you on the right path to achieving all that you want. Make a bucket list and vision board and be open and willing to go out and chase those things- the discomfort of momentary anxiety is so menial compared to the happiness that can come from challenging these behaviours.
And most of all, don’t put pressure on yourself. You are young. SO young. You have a whole life ahead of you and endless potential. I can’t wait to see how you take on 2021 and the opportunities to live your version of your best life.
Lots of love, Charlotte xxx
Lareese
I feel like so many people will be sharing the same anxiety about returning to a ‘normal’ office environment after working from home for so long. It sounds like you’re putting a hell of a lot of pressure on yourself to be sociable or to push yourself in ways that you’re not necessarily comfortable with nor ready for. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking things at your own pace, a day at a time. Once you’re back in the office, you’ll get used to the dynamic again and I’m sure your confidence will get there but until then, there’s no need to rush it and beat yourself up for having a head-down kinda day. Once you’re back sharing your office space again, you’ll soon find your feet. Channel your nervousness into excitement to get to know these people again and use that nervous energy to help fuel conversation. It might be too daunting to lead a conversation at first, so why not really listen to the chats happening around you (even if it’s just meaningless small talk) and use that as a way to engage and build your confidence, either by chipping in with your experiences and stories, or by asking questions. The good thing about heading back to the office is that you immediately have common ground, you’ve all been working from home, dealing with lockdown and trying to navigate a global pandemic so you’ll have a lot of similar experiences to share and bond over. Also, you know, you’re allowed to be a quiet person if that’s who you are – you don’t have to try and command the room with hilarious anecdotes and ground-breaking conversations if that’s not who you are. Now that we’re allowed to hang out in pubs, you can always suggest team drinks too to get to know your colleagues outside of work and in turn, they can get to learn about you. Treat it like a date scenario and have some questions and answers lined up so if you get too nervous you have something to fall back on if there’s any gaps in conversation. Good luck and don’t overthink it, just be your awesome self! There’s no need to put pressure on yourself to be the office chatterbox if that’s not what comes naturally to you but at the same time, I wouldn’t want your social anxiety to overwhelm you to the point that it denies you of conversations you want to have. Let us know how you get on and be kind to yourself – take it slow and build your confidence overtime. You can do this! Lots of love, Lareese xx
Zoe
Hello! Thanks for your message. I’ve seen a lot of people feeling a very similar way to how you’re feeling and wondering how life will return to “normal” once they’re back in the office. I’m sure your colleagues will also be a little unsure about life back within a physical working environment too and it will take a while for everyone to ease back in. If your back-to-the-office date is looming, I should imagine there will still be certain precautions laid out in terms of staggered start/lunchtimes or a new seating plan that allows you and your colleagues to sit further apart (depending on your line of work of course) which might also mean the “going back to how it was before” won’t really be a reality for a while. This ease in of the workspace might also give you the confidence to ease yourself back in too. It sounds as though you are naturally a more reserved person and that is absolutely fine, you shouldn’t have to change the way you are to feel that you fit in with others. If you want to come of your shell more however, it’s good to take small steps to grow your confidence over time. Maybe just start with small talk, or gain common ground by speaking to each other about the last 4 months and the change in office life! As I said previously, I wouldn’t be surprised if other members of the team are a bit apprehensive too. Take it one day at a time, one small step at a time and also feel okay in yourself that you don’t HAVE to be super chatty at all times! You’re all there to work anyway 😉
Danielle
Ooo I love this question, the prospect of a blossoming romance is always exciting to me. I’m not quite sure how old you are so it’s a little trickier to give advice but I can tell you that one of my friends started seeing her best friends brother when she was 15 and they got married last year! I also met my fiancee through my sister as he was friends with her first. Basically, siblings shouldn’t get in the way of two people who want to start seeing each other, and even if it makes them a little uncomfortable at first, they usually get over it pretty quickly! As for actually securing the date I’d go slow and easy and work your way into it, maybe interact with him more on social media, engage with him when you see him in person, flirt a little. You’ll soon know if you’re getting the good vibes back and then one of you will just have to be brave and ask the other out. Don’t worry too much about your brother, if it feels right he’ll come around, in the end, a la Ross with Chandler and Monica!
Keep sending your problems to Betweenyouandme@zoella.co.uk as we’ll be answering more next month!
Move Over Virtual Quiz! The Team’s Favourite Games
Whether you’re a total novice or a seasoned Pictionary artist, consider this your list of the best games to combat boredom. Poker face on. Games night ON.
We learned many, many things when our lives were locked down and reduced to four walls, and exercise was rationed to once a day. Never did running a 5K for absolutely no reason other than to get some fresh air, seem more appealing.
Some of us took to baking to pass the time – ok, all of us took to baking in the first few weeks – while others were well prepared with their dedicated cupboard of rainy-day, table top board games. Yep, Monopoly Deal had the busiest month of its life.
Once the virtual quiz hype fizzled out, we went back to basics with our entertainment, shuffling cards and getting shouty in a heated game of Linkee. And it was a simpler time.
Whether you’re a total novice or a seasoned Pictionary artist, consider this your list of the best games to combat boredom. Poker face on. Games night ON.
Zoe
As the biggest game enthusiast, I have quite the selection of favourite games up my sleeve and spilling out of most drawers in our house! I could quite literally give you a list of different occasions where different games were my favourite to pull out and play which will make narrowing this down extremely difficult. The reason I love a good afternoon of wholesome and sometimes slightly shouty game play is because I find it one of the rare occasions I am not plugged into any form of technology. Sometimes we find it impossible being able to switch off and be in the moment, but playing games with family or friends is guaranteed to make you shift your focus. The conversation is usually flowing, everyone is away from their phones and some of my favourite days have included playing a game of some sort! It’s bloomin’ well good for the soul and I encourage you to try a few of these next time you’re stuck for what to do on a Sunday afternoon!
Blokus – A new favourite you can play with 2 (Blokus duo) or 4 if you play the original game. You want to try and lay as many of your different shaped pieces on the board as possible and get the lowest score based on a bit of tactical playing and luck!
Quirkle – My friend Katie bought me this for my birthday and it’s such a good game! Super easy to learn and play and requires you to lay all your tiles by colour or shape, scoring as you go! The winner is the one with the highest score when there are no more tiles left!
Cobra Paw – A bit more fast-paced! This one is super fun and slightly stressful. You roll two dice that reveal a combination of a pattern and a colour and it’s the first person to place their finger in that tile in the middle of the table that gets it! First to five wins!
Pack of playing cards – without going into detail on certain card games and their rules, a pack of cards is the easiest to carry around and whip out and has hundreds of different games that can be played! A couple of my favourites are shit head and golf!
Cluedo – The inner detective in me just loves this game so much! Definitely one I usually have to persuade the rest of the family to play though as it takes a little longer.
Monopoly – The classic! A perfect Sunday afternoon boardgame.
Game of Life – Another board game for a Sunday afternoon but so much fun to play! I also find that this one is less stressful and a little quicker than monopoly!
Danielle
I’m big on a game. Drinking games, car games, board games, card games, I’m basically all about em’. I feel like they bring everyone together and you can really build traditions with some which are lovely. I think people associate games with colder months but I play my favourites year-round and some are perfect for taking to the pub garden or on holiday.
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Monopoly Deal I cannot even put into words how much I love monopoly deal. It’s kind of hard to learn at the start but as soon as you’ve got it, it’s brilliant. I literally never get bored of playing, games can be super quick or a little more drawn out. It doesn’t have a ton of similarities with Monopoly the board game if I’m honest, so if you don’t like that I’d still give this a try. I bought this one at the start of lockdown and I was so excited to see they had a Disney version (all the properties are characters) unfortunately I didn’t realise it was German HA but we worked out what cards meant and now we can’t get enough.
UNO – I mean Uno is just great, it’s the ultimate chilling at the pool with a beer in hand holiday game. Everyone has probably played UNO at some point in their lives and it’s super easy to pick up. The thing I love most about UNO is how competitive it can get, the moment when everyone conspires against the person with the least cards is always hilarious to me. Jumping on people who forget to say UNO, especially after a few bevvies also cracks me up.
Incoherent – So this one is one of my most recent purchases and I have to admit I was swayed massively by Tik Tok! It’s the one where things are spelt differently and people have to guess what they are and some of them are filth. This is so funny after a few drinks and has had me doubled up on the floor laughing which is hard for a game to do. This would probably make a great gift too.
Blockbuster – Bit of a rogue one but my brother got me this for Christmas as I’m a bit of a movie buff and I LOVE it. I would imagine this would be really great if you and your friends are good with movies as it definitely needs a solid level of knowing a wide range of movies to play it well. It’s got a fun buzzer round which sometimes we end up playing for ages after we’ve finished playing where it will say ‘Movies beginning with S’ and you take it in turns to say one and hit the buzzer and the person who can’t think of one before the buzzer goes off loses. Really good game if you like movies though, worth looking into!
Lareese
I’m not a massive games enthusiast, unless it’s a drinking game of course, then I really do play to win. It’s not that I don’t like them, I think it’s just one of those things where you’re either a family who plays games together or you’re not, and being a small family, I think we heavily rely on the classics: a frustrating game of Who Am I with post-its stuck to our foreheads or Monopoly.
Games in our house are usually limited to Christmas Day when we’re all together or someone’s birthday. We play Dirty Santa or invent our own equipment-free games like last Christmas, where we went around the table naming tube stations beginning with every letter of the alphabet. It sounds like one sucky Christmas Day doesn’t it? But actually, we were all very invested by the time we made it to Goodge Street.
Since lockdown left us all looking for things to do to fill our days indoors, I have since discovered a couple of firm favourites, Monopoly Friends Edition and the How Millennial Are You? Game.
Monopoly Friends Edition – This is just like the original version, only better. This time, you play as a member of the iconic sitcom gang and pivot round the board, naturally, and instead of fighting over who gets to be the dog, you get to fight over who gets to be Rachel’s handbag.
How Millennial Are You? – This game is basically charades with avocado and Ed Sheeran. You’ve got four categories to choose from, including Food & Beverages, Music, Popular Culture and Famous People. You then pick a card, choose your millennial reference, then roll the die to determine whether you have to draw, describe, mime or sing it. Who knew sketching an avo was so hard!
Charlotte
There are few occasions in which a game seems the most appropriate course of action, but if you even utter the words Christmas, Lockdown or Pre Drinks then you best believe I’m whipping the games out ASAP.
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Pictionary Now I’m by no means an artist by any stretch of the imagination, but something about this game makes me 10/10 competitive. This is normally one that collects dust until December rolls around, but with some more lockdown evenings ahead of us it might be one worth persuading my family to join me in a game of. There are also some fun online versions like Drawize and Skribbl to help extend the game beyond your four walls.
Three Tier Articulate – I’m sure there are plenty of official ways to play this with proper cards and timers, but this minimal effort game always ends in fits of laughter whenever me and my pals have spontaneously played, and only really requires a pen and paper! First things first you all need to write 5-10 peoples names (depending on how long you want the game to last you can add more or less) on individual pieces of paper, fold them in half and shuffle the selection in a bowl or hat. We normally do a mix of celebrities, politicians, friends from school, TV characters and personalities we’re all familiar with. Divide your group in half and let the games begin! You have 1 minute on the clock per member of each team with the aim of your team mates guessing who you are describing, the paper of which you keep and tot up the total as you go. Then the three tier element comes into play. During the first round you can describe the person in as many words as you like (without saying their name directly), the second round means you can use one word only to describe the same selection of people, and the final round requires you to act them out, speaking no words at all. It’s more fun if you’ve inputted a whole variety and long list of names as you’re likely to forget them between rounds making the process all the more funny/frustrating for those in the hot seat. The winning team is the side with the highest number of points at the end of the game.
Picolo – And now for everyone’s favourite drinking game! This is a fun one for festivals, pre drinks or house parties (crying at the distant memory of those things). All you need is a phone to bring this game to life, adding in each participants name and following the challenges and instructions the app gives out. I believe you can tailor the direction of the game to avoid awkward spin the bottle moments (unless that’s your thang), and it’s almost guaranteed to be a good laugh no matter your group!
Darcey
For some reason I’ve never been a big game player, except at Christmas when I can’t get enough of them! I’m not sure why the festive period is so big on games, but I do love how it brings everyone together and gets everyone off their phone. So maybe I should start playing games more often!
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What Do You Meme? I love a meme, so how can I not like a card game centred around them. This game is so funny, I have the fresh memes expansion pack and it’s deffinitley adult themed, so this one is not for children! What Do You Meme is really similar to Cards Against Humanity, where you pair two cards together and then one player picks a pair they think is the funniest to win that round. However, with this game you pair It up with an iconic meme image. This game can get so out of hand and it’s absolutley hilarious!
Cards Against Humanity – I don’t think this game needs any explanation, we all know how bloody brutal it is! This is a game you go into innocent and come out the other end with a newfound savage sense of humour. I think this game needs a certain type of humour for everyone to find it funny, it’s very dry and outrageous humour. Normally you come out of a round of this seeing all the players in a whole new light, must admit I did after playing a few round of this with my family at Christmas haha! Who knew my Grandma could be so crude!
Monopoly – I play this VERY occasionally, mainly at Christmas, but I love how intense this game can get. Boy, it can last for hours and hours! It’s something you’ve really got to set aside time for, even days ha! I get very invested in this game (if you couldn’t tell already), so I think for my mental wellbeing it’s good I don’t play it often because I become stressed! But it’s so fun to play, I don’t think I need to explain the rules of this game we all know this absolute classic.