Welcome back to our monthly check-in otherwise known as Between You And Me – chatty confidential advice from your friendly neighbourhood twenty/thirty-somethings on this cosy corner of the internet.

In this month’s BYAM, we’re talking overprotective parents, coping with the prospect of another Hokey Cokey year in and out of lockdowns, flaky dads cancelling plans on the regs, letting go of a relationship for travel plans and reservations about going on the pill.

If you’re in a bit of a tizzy about something and you’d like to ask WWYD, email in to betweenyouandme@zoella.co.uk and we’ll do our best to come back with some solid life advice.

Danielle

Hey anon, thank you for writing in with your troubles, this is such a mature problem you’ve found yourself in you clearly have a great head on your shoulders for only being 21. First of all, I can completely sympathise with the fact impending doom is affecting your mental health, of course, it is, it’s an awful situation! Here are the positives; you are in a relationship with someone you love very much, he’s your best friend, and he’s passionate about his career which is hard to come by! You basically don’t know what the future holds so try not to sabotage what you have before it’s officially taken away from you. The past year is as good a sign as any that you really never know what’s around the corner so you should treasure what you have whilst you’ve got it. Don’t try and imagine what the future will be like when he goes too much maybe it’s best not to put a label on what you will or won’t be when he eventually goes. It seems a bit extreme to go from a loving relationship to absolutely nothing just because you’ll both be busy. If you guys are meant to be I’m sure you’ll find your way back to each other, and if you are not I’m sure you’ll find someone you love in the future (even if that’s not what you want to hear!) Maybe start thinking about your own career or what you want to achieve in life and put your energy into that to distract you when he eventually leaves. And finally, without being a patronising 30 year old, you are super young and have so much exciting life ahead of you! If I was still with the person I was with when I was 21 my life would look VERY different! What’s for you won’t pass you by…

Holly

Hello lovely human,

I completely understand your pain, I’m sorry you’re having to make such big decisions prematurely. For what it’s worth, I think it’s really great that you both are mature enough to realise that you can’t change your dreams/life plans for someone else.

It sounds like you have a really great relationship, who doesn’t want their partner to also be their best friend?! So take advantage of that and chat to him properly about how you’re feeling. He’s probably thinking exactly the same things but you both love each other too much to bring it up.
I think ending it prematurely would be a mistake. Even if you do only have a few months left together, why not make the most of that. That being said, maybe you could use the coming months to try and transition your relationship to something more casual. Making it a bit easier when he is gone so you won’t miss him as much.

If you’re really sure you don’t want to try long distance, it might be good to have a little break. You do a lot of growing in your 20’s and if you still love each other when he’s back, at least you’ve grown and explored being by yourself.

I’m a strong believer that everything works out how it’s meant to in the end. So while you’re completely valid to be upset and overwhelmed about the current situation, please know it will be OK whatever the outcome.
Sending you love and positivity for what is looking like a tough, but full of life lessons year!

Holly

Darcey

Hey anon!

Thank you for writing in, online dating in the middle of a pandemic is definitely a strange experience at times so I think it’s great you’ve both decided to take things slow, but also fantastic that you are planning future dates for when you can finally meet!

I totally understand keeping the online dating world from your mum, especially if she can be too overprotective of you at times. I think also you have to remember that you are 23 and allowed to have your own privacy, especially when it comes to dating, and that you don’t have to tell your parents everything. I’m the same age as you, and I absolutely never tell my parents about people I’m speaking to from dating apps, as to be honest until it gets more serious, they don’t really need to know! Of course, if I was going on a date though in person, I would let someone know, like a friend, just so someone knows that I am meeting someone online as you should always be precautious.

I think keep chatting to him and enjoying things how they are at the moment, don’t get too ahead with thinking about telling your mum etc. I think once you have met him in person and established that connection with him face-to-face too and had a few great dates, then that would be a good time to start thinking about telling your mum.

I think your mum is most likely a bit over-bearing as she wants to protect you, but I absolutely think having a chat with her about boundaries would be a good idea as you are an adult and need your own space too. We all make mistakes, but we learn from those so being able to choose your own path is absolutely what you need.

This guy from Hinge though sounds lovely, fingers crossed you get to meet in person soon and wishing you all the best in the future!

Danielle

Hey love! Thanks so much for writing in and congratulations in your online dating quest, it’s awesome you’ve managed to find someone who is enriching your life so much especially in a time like this! Stay cool calm and collected though as you never know what the vibe will be like when you meet, or whether you might just be better suited as friends, just bare that in mind, and take each day as it comes, it’ll be interesting when you eventually get to meet after speaking for so long but you clearly have a great connection so YAY! Now for the mum issue, I don’t have super overprotective parents but they definitely we’re always quite involved and even when I’m home now I don’t feel like they treat me like an adult all the time so I can sympathise with you there. Maybe you need to sit your mum down and have an honest conversation with her about boundaries and how she makes you feel sometimes, I would assume that her not giving you the privacy you deserve possibly comes from a place of love and she’s just worried that you’re going to get hurt. You mentioned having a disability which might make her more worried as it’s something she didn’t have to go through. But hey, your 23, you need to be able to make your own mistakes and find your own path as she’ll only end up pushing you away. I’d keep your news about your guy under your hat for now and see how the conversation about boundaries goes… good luck!

Lareese

Hello my love,

I totally agree that whilst we’re basically fluent in the lockdown lingo now, the in and out unpredictability is a bit much to digest and can leave you feeling a bit adrift. Is this just life now?! If we’re really pragmatic about it, we know this isn’t going to be forever but now the coronavirus restrictions have rolled over into another year, it feels like the set-backs just keep on coming. That said, the vaccine is here and that’s a bit of good news to hold onto.

I think trying to cultivate some of that positivity you had first time around and getting a little routine going will help you no end! Team Zoella has been working from home here in the UK since March last year and I’ve found that the tiniest of things can help make sure my day gets off to a good start – waking up at the same time every day, walking with a podcast at lunchtime, lighting a candle to mark the end of the working day and the start of my downtime at home or even just having a bath on your lunch break – because you can – and ordering yourself a bouquet of flowers to brighten up your home.

Take some time away from the news and social media if it’s getting too intense for you. Emotions are high and it’s very much a case of ‘same storm, different boat’ so the best thing to do is just separate yourself from the social media noise and focus on the things that are going to make you feel calm and content over this next lockdown period. It’s all about those small victories, happy distractions and simple pleasures pal. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be your best productive self but take some time to listen and lean into anything that will bring you joy in these tumultuous times. Sending you a big air hug! xx

Holly

Hello lovely reader,

Blimey, you’ve come to the right place! If there’s one thing I can reassure you on, it’s that you aren’t alone. If there was an awards ceremony for countries that most messed up the whole situation, honestly the UK would win!

I can only imagine how hard it must be, being in a country where the restrictions vary from place to place. Especially if you can see people you know having a better time than you. I think the thing to remember is that, despite the government’s incompetence, they are doing what will ultimately benefit us in the future. It’s so easy to see absolutely no way out. Like this is life forever, but it’s not. At some point, we will be vaccinated, we’ll be able to go to bars, hug our loved ones, even lick pavements if that’s your thing.

It’s easier said than done, but if you can find a hobby or use your time in lockdown productively, it will really help too. I’ve got DIY tasks around my house done which I would NEVER have put time aside to do otherwise. I’ve saved money and reconnected with old friends because I have more time to video call etc.

I have just booked some things to look forward to, in hope of helping drag me out of my funk and it’s really helped. I booked some (refundable) flights for November, and planning how we’re going to celebrate friends weddings/birthdays from afar. Looking forward is the only thing getting me through in all honesty.

Sending you a big hug, we’ll get through this!
Holly

Charlotte

Hello! I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling with this relationship, as any kind of animosity or turbulence with a parent can be really challenging. It sounds to me that despite still being young you’re perhaps the more mature one in this dynamic, so well done you for being so level headed and considered in your efforts- it’s not always easy! 12 months is a long time to feel like you’re being repeatedly cancelled on and not having your efforts reciprocated so I think as we’re moving further into 2021 it’s really important to have a conversation with him about it. Sometimes honesty is the best policy, so even though I am 99% sure it’s not something he’s doing intentionally, I think it’s important to raise with him that you do feel like he’s avoiding you and that maybe it’s triggering some of those anxieties from the periods previously when he’s moved in and out of your life. Don’t feel the need to sugar coat things, nor to justify your feelings- your response is totally valid and hopefully, he will respectfully understand your point of view. Perhaps you could suggest putting in place some regular contact so you don’t constantly feel like you’re having to chase him? Perhaps getting in a weekly phone call on the same day every week would be quite easy to implement or a socially distanced walk on Sunday morning’s if you live close by? Some small but regular points of contact that become part of yours and his routine might make things feel less like an effort for both of you!

In terms of him nitpicking and criticising your decisions, I also think this is something that needs to be called out as understandably it’s impacting you. A good parent should try and support you even when they might not agree with your life decisions, and it might be worth giving him a gentle calling out on this and mentioning how it’s affecting you. It doesn’t need to be the case of him agreeing with every single thing you do, but it shouldn’t be too much to ask that he’s respectful and supportive, especially when it comes to your career which is totally down to you. Ultimately I think communication might be the fix to these concerns, which I know can be annoying especially as you’ve been trying so hard, but if you can pin him down for a chat I think it will feel like a weight off your shoulders if nothing else!

Good luck, know that you are doing all you can and remember his actions are purely a reflection of his own issues and nothing to do with you or your worth.

Lots of love,
Charlotte xxx

Darcey

Hey Anon!

Thank you so much for writing in, I find this question so interesting because I felt exactly the same at your age. All my friends would fancy someone, be speaking to someone or have partners, and I always used to wonder why I wasn’t experiencing any of this?! I spent a large part of school not fancying anyone, yeah, I found boys good looking (like you mentioned too) but I never FANCIED anyone or formed any kind of relationship with any guys at my school. Truth be told, looking back now I just wasn’t that interested, but felt I needed to be, so it would angst me. I wonder if this is similar for you too. You have your whole life to find someone and have your first relationship, and I think school just isn’t that place for a lot of people.

I think most importantly is to not stress about the situation, I know easier said than done when all your friends are getting into relationships, but you can’t compare your path to others as it will just create so much anxiety for you. We all get into relationships at different times. I have some friends (I’m 22 now) who are with long-term boyfriends, living together in flats thinking about marriage and I have friends who have never been in a long-term serious relationship (me included). But that’s just how it is really, we all do things at different times.

Personality is a massive part of fancying someone too, not just that instant attraction to someone, you might just be someone who needs to really know someone to fancy them. Sometimes it’s also just figuring out your sexuality too and who you are really attracted to, some people also are never instantly attracted to anyone and they are asexual, who find that they don’t really find anyone attractive, but they can have very normal romantic relationships still.

But I really do think at your age it’s best to just not overthink it all, you will work out these feelings as you get older, and probably when you leave school too and start mixing with new people. I didn’t really properly fancy anyone till I was about 17 and at college! You’ve got this don’t worry, just enjoy school and being with your mates, and just let all that other stuff come naturally. I promise you’ll figure it all out one day. All the best, Darcey Xx

Danielle

Heya! Thank you so much for writing in I can only imagine how out of place you must feel sometimes when your friends are speaking about something you’ve never experienced but trust me I’m sure there are tons of people who feel exactly the same as you do! At 16 you’re still so young, even though you don’t feel it and sometimes the easiest way to judge a situation is based on your friends but please try not to worry about it as you’ll only end up spiralling and feeling self-conscious. Some people only have a crush on someone they really like, some people may just get those feelings later on life, you might be attracted to people of the same sex and that’s ok too! Drawing from personal experience I used to have a crush on a guy and if I ended up ‘seeing’ them they’d make me feel sick after about two weeks and it was all a complete waste of everyone’s time ha! Basically don’t overthink it, just keep living life and enjoying yourself, all that other stuff will come later!

Charlotte

Hello anon!

I’m so sorry you went through such a turbulent time in 2020 both within yourself and your relationship, but the first thing I noticed from reading this was just how strong, kind and caring you really are. It’s definitely easy to feel blame or guilt when we have to make difficult decisions, but I just want to begin by saying you are truly so compassionate, introspective and empathetic and this really shows.

I’ve been in a similar situation however the other way around, as my mental health, unfortunately, lead to a recent break up so I feel I have some insight into the situation you find yourself in. I really struggled to accept the decision myself, but the circumstances were different, and in your case, I really respect the time, care and patience you have given to your ex who is so lucky to have someone like you in their life, period. Although it’s easy to focus on his mental health as the main factor in his efforts and current state of mind, I think it’s important to consider that maybe these factors would have led you to the same decision regardless of his commitment to making sure you’re fulfilled in the relationship. You highlighted that you have different priorities in the ways you spend your time, socialise and be around others, and I think this might have caused problems in the future even if he was feeling like his best self. Breakups are always difficult but they can feel even more challenging when there isn’t a major reason behind them, so although he didn’t explicitly do anything ‘wrong’, it’s not to say the relationship was right for you at this point in your life.

4 years is a super long time to spend with someone so please remember to show some kindness and patience for yourself too, as it’s all well and good being concerned about him but you have to look after number one too! Despite his mental health struggles, it does sound like he took the relationship for granted somewhat and over time that has of course caused you to doubt your security with him. No matter the circumstances you should always feel like you are wanted and valued in your relationship and it just seems like pandemic aside, those were not emotions you felt with him.

It’s natural to feel an obligation and desire to keep supporting him and be an ear to listen when he feels he has no one else to turn to, but know that this isn’t your ‘job’ so to speak. He may find it difficult to speak to others, but it’s not healthy to place so much of his emotional baggage on to you and you alone. Perhaps you can hold his hand a little in lightening the load, maybe by looking into therapists that seem like the right fit for him or getting advice from a mental health charity on his behalf- it will help you to feel less like the weight of his MH is completely on your shoulders, and hopefully aid in supporting him too.

It’s a really difficult situation and you’re handling it so maturely and compassionately so like I said make sure to prioritise yourself and your emotional needs too. Lots of love, you got this!

Charlotte xxx

Lareese

Hiya lovely!

Thanks for getting in touch. I remember finding 15/16 a particularly crappy and turbulent period for self-love too, so you’re definitely not on your own. I had a complete body confidence crisis at your age and I can only imagine how much harder it is now in the era of .com and social media and this unattainable level of perfection that’s we’re constantly being bombarded with.

On the flip side, one good thing about social media is the amount of body confidence accounts out there advocating for self-love and acceptance. Not sure if you’re on Instagram but a couple of golden accounts to follow, @alexlight_ldn and @aspoonfulofalice and @megan_rose_lane to name a few! Curating your feed with wholesome body chat and accounts that make you feel good in the skin you’re in is a great place to start.

We are not born hating our bodies. When we’re babies, our soft squishy skin is embraced and adored, then we grow up and society chips away at that innate relationship & trust we have with our bodies. It has conditioned us into believing that thinness is the pinnacle of human existence – the ultimate life goal and a ticket to happiness & self-worth but that’s 100% bullcrap. Your body is a beautiful evolving fluctuating breathing multi-functional fluid friend. It can be so hard when you’re at an age when you might not recognise your body as you know it. It’s changing, growing and blooming in new ways, preparing you for this next phase of your life and whilst that can feel quite alien and scary at first, it’s a pretty freaking amazing metamorphosis.

I also went on the pill at your age because my periods were wild and my skin was angry. Did I put on weight? Yep, and I even had one particularly lovely stranger tell me so. I’m not gonna lie, it hurt because I felt so out of control of my own body at the time but now I wish I could go back and say, just let it be! Your body has got this and it’s nobody else’s business what it looks like or how it’s going to continue to change over the years. Hormones do crazy things but eventually, your body finds its baseline rhythm again and side-effects usually subside after the first few months. On the plus side, the pill has plenty of perks too – my skin was never better and my periods were like clockwork. Wishing you the best with it, lots of love! xxx

We’re just 15 days into the calendar year but we’ve seen quite enough, thanks. At this point, we’re ready to unmask the pranksters behind 2021, sing Auld Lang Syne, raise a glass of Berocca and call it a night because our chakras are all gamed out. If ever we needed to bury our heads in the sand – even if it’s just the half-eaten kind, dumped in our cereal bowl by a fly-tipping toddler – it’s now.

In these tumultuous times, books are a great source of comfort and escapism, so here’s a few literary gems whose pages will help to peel your shoulders away from your ears and quash those January scaries.

In our ongoing effort to distract you from the wild happenings here on Planet Earth, here are some of the best books to bury your nose in while you’re holed up at home. Again.

1 City of Girls – Elizabeth Gilbert

From the bestselling author of Eat Pray Love, comes another unputdownable read. This light, bright, booze-filled romp through the 1940s will go down splendidly with a cocktail or two. It’s happy hour somewhere. Buy a copy here!

2 Beach Read – Emily Henry

Two writers, one holiday. A Rom Com waiting to happen…

Beach Read is exactly the sizzling page-turner the title suggests. Fill the Love Island void and live vicariously through the two protagonists, January and Gus, as they both scramble to push through writer’s block and publish the next bestseller before the summer’s out. Buy a copy here!

3 The Flatshare – Beth O’Leary

Oh Beth O’Leary, mistress of toasty, feel-good fiction, what did we do to deserve you? The Flatshare is about two roommates who fall hard for one another. They share a flat and a bed but there’s one elephant in the boudoir… Tiffy & Leon have never met. Buy a copy here!

4 The Henna Artist – Alka Joshi

With its colourful descriptions and sumptuous storytelling, The Henna Artist will transport you back to 1950s India, where seventeen-year-old Lakshmi escapes from an arranged and abusive marriage to the vibrant city of Jaipur. Buy a copy here!

5 The Sun & Her Flowers – Rupi Kaur

Whenever your feel the brain fog creeping, check-in with Rupi. Her collection of poetry, aptly named The Sun & Her Flowers, will soothe your soul and help you find the magic in the world again. Nourish to flourish, pals! Buy a copy here!

6 The Guest List – Lucy Foley

A modern Agatha Christie page-turner for the Instagram age with more twists and turns than the cheap garden hose. Buy a copy here!

7 Ghosts – Dolly Alderton

No one writes with such whip-smart observation as Dolly Alderton and her debut novel proves it. Ghosts will resonate with every woman who’s ever had to wade through the BS of modern dating. Buy a copy here!

8 Everything Is Under Control – Phyllis Grant

Part foodie memoir, part recipe book, Grant’s light-hearted slice of reverie is just what everyone needs at a time when we’re done with banana bread and many, many things are in fact completely out of control. Buy a copy here!

9 Outlawed – Anna North

Giddy up, dear reader, Outlawed is an alternative wild yee-haw Western about a group of loveable female and non-binary outlaws looking for the freedom to exist in a world that largely doesn’t want them. North completely flips the script with this one and we stan. Buy a copy here!

10 His Only Wife – Peace Adzo Medie

Bursting with warmth, humour and humanity, his Only Wife is a much-needed modern Ghanaian love story about marriage ideals, family obligation and a plucky heroine determined to live life on her own terms. Buy a copy here!

What books are taking your mind off lockdown 3.0 right now?

When it comes to the creme de la creme of the high street, & Other Stories is high on our list of trend-driven, cool-girl chic that never fails to disappoint. Forging a balance between classic but current, the eclectic mix of designs offer something for everyone looking to create their own unique fashion story. The current onsite selection is quite simply chefs kiss, and this week we’re sharing the must-have items that were immediately added to basket, with the hopes of some sweet, sweet occasions we can rock them in during 2021- it’s good to have dreams!

This post contains ad-affiliate links

Hello lockdown 3.0. It’s set to be a rampant one.

Since we’ve recently renewed our membership to the stay at home club, albeit for a rolling, cancel at any time contract (we hope), we’re going to do a few things differently this time round, starting with self-care. And by self-care, we mean drastically increasing our chances of having an orgasm by touching ourselves regularly or having a beloved partner do it for us.

Whether you’re all about vibrating ears, budget-friendly bullets or pulsating tongue-mimicking machines, enjoy next level masturbation and peak partnered sex with our round-up of sex toys from entry point vibrators (oh look honey, she made a joke) to top tier playthings for loved-up couples looking to switch things up.

And look, if all else fails, we will always have Bridgerton and THAT is one failsafe journey to finding your pinnacle.

3 Speed Bullet Vibrator

Ann Summers | £5 | Shop it here

If this is your first foray into self-pleasure, then first of all welcome, congratulations and happy girthday. You’re about to reach a whole new level of introspection. The thumb-sized bullet is great for gentle and discreet solo play. Complete with three speed settings, a tapered tip for targeted clitoral stimulation and a beautiful, if a little cunning, exterior that could easily pass for a lipstick, it’s one smooth operator.

Rampant Rabbit G Spot Stroking Vibrator

Ann Summers | £42 | Shop it here

Whilst the Rampant Rabbit can look a bit like an angry hare poised for confrontation and ready to box your best bits, it’s a gentle giant really. The RR boasts an impressive 4.5″ stature, 7 vibration settings, a ribbed shaft and clitorally stimulating ears to make all your pleasure-seeking pursuits a solid 20/10 experience. Don’t know about you but we’re listening.

Dame Fin

*Free People | £78 | Shop it here

Not all sex toys are created equal and this is one woman of rank. The mistress of masturbation is like a majestic finger puppet, seamless for your pleasure. Whether you’re in it for a solo run through or up for bit of audience interaction (oh yes she is), it’s sure to give you the standing O-vation you so deserve.

Dream Wand Rechargeable Mini

*Love Honey | £29.99 | Shop it here

They say magic isn’t real, but we wager £5 it is and it exists and resides in this wish-granting baton. This wand is a small and mighty bedside companion with 4 levels of intensity – hooray for a tier system we are only too happy to climb. With 7 settings and a battery life that’ll have no problem working away at your congested backlog of uncatchable orgasms, it’s a great all-rounder.

Womanizer Duo Rabbit Vibrator

*Love Honey | £179.99 | Shop it here

Anything with sex toy of the year accolades has our full attention. This superior sex toy only activates once in contact with the skin meaning you’ll get all of the pleasure with none of the noise. We wouldn’t dare splash out on that ergonomic computer chair because Dear Spine that wants for nothing, we’re not made of money but an ergonomic vibrator? Sign us up and keep the change, ya filthy animal.

The Fireman

*Feel Unique Smile Makers | £39.95 | Shop it here

Cliteracy lesson number one: 4 in 5 clitoris-owners reach orgasm via clitoral stimulation, not penetrative sex, so let that be all the reassurance you need (and all the sex ed they need) that your clitoris should not in fact be treated like a Sleeping Beauty spindle or the perilous lips of a Venus fly trap but rather like a precious cashmere purse, born to be cupped perfectly in the hand and stroked. A lot. The Fireman, named after its flame-like form and ability to fire up your burning loins (probably), is one such sex toy that will make sure your clitoris gets its due attention. Featuring a rounded protruding nub of a nose for optimal clitoral stimulation, discreet shape, 4 speeds and 2 pulsation modes, your wild furnace is in good hands here.

F1s Developers Kit

Lelo | £135 | Shop it here

If stats and apps get them going, then consider this high-performance sex-tech a gift any penis-having partner will love. Combining powerfully intense dual motors, the patented Cruise Control setting and Lelo’s revolutionary SenSonic technology, it massages their member with deeply satisfying sonic waves. Oh, and it comes with a little window, so they can watch all the action as it happens. It’s basically this season’s incomparable diamond. And that’s not all. Using the free SDK, they can personalise their pleasure through the bougie customisable internal sensors. What could be a better present than pleasure at their fingertips and a little peephole to boot?

The Frenchman

*Smile Makers Collection | 39.95 | Shop it now

Powerful, quiet and remarkably good at oral, that’s The Frenchman in a nutshell. Perfect for solo sessions or couple fun, its ice cream scoop shape is designed to mimic the touch of a tongue, so add a few squirts of lube and indulge in the best French kiss of your life. Sacrebleu!

Eva II

*Cult Beauty – Dame Products | £135 | Shop it now

Best for: a hands-free wank. The revolutionary design of Eva II gets you there without the bastardly hand cramp. The wings tuck under the labia while the rest of the toy tends to your clitoris. We stan lazy orgasms.

Sona 2 Cruise

Lelo | £119 | Shop it now

Aka the clit sucker. It delivers full body shivers thanks to its toe-curling sonic wave technology, designed to mimic the feeling of oral sex. It’s a small but perfectly formed gem.

TENGA Egg Penis Masturbator

*Love Honey | £9.99 | Shop it now

Cheap and cheerful does the job. This textured masturbating egg designed with penis-owners in mind will ensure your sexual experience is always sunny side up. Pour in some lube and crack on.

Desire Knicker Vibrator

*Love Honey | £69.99 | Shop it now

Slip into the ribbon-tie briefs provided and hand over all control to your partner. The whisper-quiet machine is wirelessly controlled from up to 8 metres away. Zoom 3.0 just got interesting.

Womanizer Premium Smart Silence Clitoral Stimulator

*Love Honey | £169.99 | Shop it now

With its mind-blowing Pleasure Air Technology (aka unreal sucking action) and 12 intensity settings ranging from soft gentle purr to butt-clenching roar, the Premium Womanizer will make any notable orgasm you’ve ever experienced look like a pathetic outbreath in comparison, like the short-lived puff of air in an eye test. Tonight, we vibe like queens.

Classic Metallic Magic Wand

*Love Honey | £49.99 | Shop it now

You know it’s a serious piece of kit when it’s mains powered. Operated using a handy little scroll wheel of fortune, you can dial up your pleasure as much or as little as you want, from soft relaxing rumbles to intense all-encompassing vibrations. Orgasm roulette… what a time to be alive.

Obii

Biird | £82 | Shop it now

Meet Obii – clit-lead, aesthetically-pleasing pleasure at your service. Combining suction sensations with whisper-quiet powerful vibrations, Obii is ready to deliver your best-blended orgasm yet. Other honourable mentions include: could easily pass as a reading light, a stress ball or an essential oil diffuser when sat proudly on your bedside table. Let’s hear it for sex toys that blend in AND stand out.

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

First of all, Happy New Year! What are you looking to get out of 2021?

Happy New Year…I think! It sounds very cliché but honestly, I just want complete contentment. After 2020, I think the only thing we can wish for is complete happiness. If you have a roof over your head and food on your table you are very lucky indeed. Happiness shouldn’t be for the fortunate it should be free for everyone.

Talk us through your career online and how it’s evolved? 

Oh my! I started my Instagram account in February 2019 as a bit of a hobby. I was bored to completely honest and I knew I couldn’t do a normal 9-5 job. I wasn’t built for it babes. The hobby turned into an online diary where I now share my love of skincare, my mental health struggles but also aim to educate people on what it like living with HIV in 2021.

One of your biggest focuses online is skincare, why do you think it’s become more and more popular in recent years? 

It’s the ultimate escape from reality for a moment in time. There is nothing better (for me anyway) than lighting a candle, running a bath, applying a face mask and forgetting about the world for a short while. A skincare routine is much more than a skincare routine it’s my daily ritual and the 10 minutes of self-care morning and evening that I look forward to.

What are some of your top skincare brands to check out for people looking to start a routine? 

There is so much choice out there at the moment and it’s so confusing for everyone but the foundations of a good skincare routine need to be: cleanse, moisturise, SPF in the AM and double cleanse (cleansing twice) retinol product and moisturiser in the PM. You don’t need a serum laced with gold, just pile on the hydration. A brand I love are Medik8, Skinceuticals, Deviant, Sunday Riley – these are not the most affordable brands but for me, if you buy cheap you buy twice. Thank you maam. You should also check out Skin&me who are an online dermatologist subscription service who will tailor-make a formula based on your skin’s needs.

We love how honest and open you are with your journey with HIV, why is breaking the stigma and education so important to you? 

HIV is no longer a death sentence. We are not in the 80’s babes. Change that mindset now. There was so much media coverage back then about how contagious and deadly the virus was and in 2021 that is no longer the case. A person with HIV can live a normal life when on effective medication. It’s so important to break the stigma and spread the correct information to ensure no one suffers in silence but also to protect the mental health of anyone living with HIV. Your words and 

misinformation could be the reason someone doesn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

What are some common misconceptions you wish more people knew about? 

You cannot pass HIV on when on effective medication. If you take effective medication daily (one tablet for me) then your viral load will be classed as undetectable which means you are untransmittable. U = U. its impossible to pass on HIV when a person with HIV is on effective medication. You cannot catch HIV through hugging, kissing, sharing cutlery and saliva!

What would you say is your biggest achievement to date? 

Being alive in 2021! Haha. Seriously. I have suffered with my mental health for nearly 15 years and to be able to feel like I’m over the worst of it is the best feeling ever. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, always. Pain is only temporary. You will get through this like you always have. I also feel super proud of raising over £4k for the National AIDS Trust in December 2020

What are you currently working on? 

I am working on projects that are due to go live at the end of this week and through 2021 at the moment but the most exciting thing I’m working on is my book! I know who knew! I’m working on a book that’s all about going through tough times and how you can survive it. It also talks about getting drunk with Bradley from S Club 7 when I worked at Butlins and so much more!

Who are some of your favourite follows online? 

I adore @lisapotterdixon – Lisa is a ray of sunshine, she is the most gorgeous, friendly and uplifting human. 

@skin_t__ is a beautiful Scottish human being who delves deeper into ingredients of skincare – if you need skincare advice he’s your go-to.

@carolinehirons is the queen of the beauty industry. She speaks her mind and knows her shit. 

@glow_with_ola is a mood. He serves looks and home truth’s that make me gag for days. 

There are so many more but I regularly share my favourites on my stories!

What do you always carry with you? 

Lip balm! I never used a lip balm regularly until I got Invisalign this year and they have saved my lips over and over again! No one warned me that Invisalign would make my mouth like a desert. Chanel & La Roche Posay are my faves.

What does your perfect weekend look like? 

At the moment…nothing! Saturday my fiancée @nickkimberleystyle and I cuddle the dogs and watch Netflix with the filthiest takeaway! What else is there to do?!

If you could only eat one meal again what would it be? 

I’m a chocaholic. Addicted like you wouldn’t believe. Chocolate over anything. Men, sex the lot. Give me chocolate. I don’t even have a favourite either, ill eat it all.

If you could give one positive message to our followers what would it be? 

Pain is only temporary. Honestly, this is what gets me through on those tough days. Sometimes it seems dark but the darkness will separate and you will see the light at the end I promise you. Keep going, sometimes it’s tough but just before you are about to give up you could’ve just been playing the biggest role of your life. Love ya bye xx

Follow Andrew on Instagram here!

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (wouldn’t blame you), you’re probably hyper aware of a certain chiselled Duke’s arrival on Netflix – aka Simon Basset (Regé-Jean Page), the Byronic Bridgerton royal you didn’t know your life was missing.

Based on Julia Quinn’s eponymous book series, the first season of the binge-worthy Bridgerton has ruffled more than a few feathers, or should we say Featheringtons, with its sex, scandal and high society papers. The plot follows the powerful Bridgerton family, as they ballroom dance and bonk their way through Regency London seeking various hedonistic highs and marriage-minded pursuits.

It could be likened to Downton Abbey with hints of Gossip Girl, only with unabashed sass & spunk by the horse-drawn carriage load, so probs avoid watching it with the parents unless you want to make 110 cups of tea to avoid sitting through eight episodes of ribald Regency romps, pretending to look at anything but the Duke’s incomparable arse cheeks. We’ve never investigated the ageing patina of our ceiling so much.

Dearest reader, here are all the thoughts, feelings and anonymous musings we had whilst watching the brilliant Bridgerton.

Disclaimer: contains spoilers, so look away if you haven’t made it to the grand crescendo yet.

Straight in with a tree shag, foreplay wasn’t invented yet then

I must follow all the actors and actresses on Instagram immediately

No way, Daphne is Sally from Coronation Street’s daughter?!

Reckon Queen Charlotte’s orgy of pearls is a sign of things to come? Ahem.

Sounds like classical music but it’s not, what IS that pop bop?

Screams ‘Thank You Next!’ in the middle of the night, startling all the dogs and neighbours within a 5-mile radius

Lots of longing looks, stolen glances, dancing and breathy sighs so far. It’s like TOWIE circa 1813

The Duke of Hastings hath arrived and I too am positively parched, Daphne

His smile, the symmetry, the way he holds himself in a riding boot and crushed velvet suit jacket… (Fans self with a leftover fajita wrap)

Didn’t have him down as a gooseberry pie kinda man, mind you

Isn’t that Christopher Robin? And Tracy Beaker’s mum!

Can’t wait for the next time I get to call a f*ckboy an uncatchable rake

Nah, not Nigel Berbrooke. Anyone but Nig.

Pretend to form an attachment? Already done that Si, don’t you worry about that. We’re 10 steps ahead

Lady Danbury is a MOOD

Lady Bridgerton’s always right, ‘there is only the Duke’

Can’t. Handle. His. Tragic. Backstory. Though.

This slow-mo dance scene is everything, look at them. It’s like watching a perfectly choreographed mating ritual

I wonder how many local men I’d have to promenade with from a respectable 2m distance to inherit a large ancestral home

Not all spoons are created equal…

I didn’t know I could be aroused by a spoon but here we are. They’re posh and I’m poor but we’re ALL desperately horny and trapped in this twisted cutlery threesome together

Daphne snort laughing in front of the Prince of Prussia – it me

He’s mansplaining masturbation but whatever, we can move past that

“and that should help you…come” huwe#afhoaiwm!? The sound we believe our burning loins would make if they could speak

The scriptwriting is chef’s kiss

Yep, this scene is going to need all eyes on a swift exit if watching with ya dad

I’d love a night out with this iconic duo tbh

Lord Rutledge asking to see Miss Thompson’s teeth will haunt us forevermore

There’s something very Rose Dawson about Daphne in the panting garden scene, namely because it feels like it’s been 84 years since we last saw the Duke naked

Wait, a duel? NO. I will not hear of it.

Cannot or will not have children? Lady Whistledown will surely spilleth the TEA

Benedict is having all kinds of second son fun. Good for him.

“To meet a beautiful woman is one thing but to meet your best friend and the most beautiful of women is something entirely apart” BAWLING

If she’s getting cold feet, stand ASIDE

First a spoon, now a glove, show me an inanimate object he can’t arouse us with

In a twist of 2021 fate, my perineum – it appears to be… pulsating

I haven’t been this invested in silverware since Connell’s chain

Every time he raises his brow, a little part of my virtue opens its legs

Even the wisteria is well hung in Regency London

This is it. The big flooding the fields in Autumn moment.

He burns for her but in doing so, he burns me

Yes, that’s more like it Simon, sack off the pig’s head and asparagus platter, have carnal pleasure for dinner instead

That achingly beautiful string quartet is serenading my clitoris right about now

Ngl, it feels a lot like it’s dancing

How does one apply to be an intimacy coordinator, exactly? Asking for a friend

All that rain and the writhing bodies on a stone folly. It’s like The Notebook on viagra

What an ingenious use for a ladder…

Safe to say, your Grace is not tongue-tied any more

Mentally, I am one half of the most talked about couples in the Ton at this point

My Instagram will be a Duke of Hastings stan account hereafter

Oh Daph, a wretched means to an end indeed

Observation: when the Duke does his angry whispering thing to Anthony, he sounds a bit like Mufasa

Death bed, marriage bed – where does my bed come into all of this? Answer me that

Filing the passive aggressive note I’ve just received from the neighbour under sh*t I won’t stand for in 2021. I’m not the one having all the sex – raise it with THE DUKE!

The portrait is not the only thing that’s drenched

“Just because something is not perfect, does not make it any less worthy of love” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK

Ok Netflix, I am one sex scene away from being served my eviction notice

Meanwhile the spoon scene lives on in my mind rent free

I KNEW it was Pen, short for Penelope but also ya know, a WRITING utensil. Pen Name. The Easter eggs were there all along.

The Duke holding the baby that could have been ours… be still my beating heart

What has that meddling bee got to do with it all?

May as well watch it again. Treat myself to a subtitled version.

Look at this ‘what’s your Bridgerton name’ doing the rounds, this could be fun. First letter of first name… D: Duchess, first letter of last name: H: Hastings. That’s it. I’m the Duchess of Hastings

MAKE HASTE SEASON 2!

Have you completed Bridgerton, yet? Let us know if you were as hooked as us!

Whilst this season might be without some of our normal winter activities, we won’t be stopped from making the most of cold weather dressing and the pure joy that can be found from wrapping up in multiple cosy layers and a walk around the block- it’s the little things after all!

Go neutral to easily switch and sashay between your catalogue of outfit extras, or opt for bold, pattered and statement pieces to add some real pizzazz to your look. Whichever way you swing, the variety of picks in this week’s team Weekly Wants means there’s truly something for everyone!

Zoe

I love accessorising in the colder months. A trusty clear umbrella is a must – I love being able to see through it rather than hope you’re not bumping into anyone as you walk! These gloves from Mango are so soft and probably my favourite I’ve ever owned. These Rototo slipper socks are an absolute MUST for the colder months & had to throw in a stylish face mask too of course!

Our Daily Edit, RoToTo Pile Slipper Socks Grey, £22 

*Mango, Transparent umbrella, £15.99 

*Mango, Facemask chain, £17.99 

*Mango, Knit gloves, £15.99 

*H&M, Alpaca-blend hat, £12.99 

Maddie

I am a sucker for winter accessories, mostly because I am always freezing so layering up and having the right clothes with me at all times is essential. I am a big fan of the beanie with an obligatory fluffy pom pom, my favourites are from Amelia Jane London. You can’t beat a nice pair of sheepskin lined mittens or woollen gloves and let’s not forget staying warm inside, cashmere socks are a must-have in my book and also make the loveliest gift.

Amelia Jane London, Black Hat with Black Faux Fur Pom Pom, £28 

Amelia Jane London, Oatmeal Hat with Brown Faux Fur Pom Pom, £28

*Etsy, LeatherFurStore, Women’s Premium Shearling Sheepskin Fur Mittens Tan, £51 + 

Not On The High Street, Hayley & Co, Cable Knit Gloves, £18 

*Net-A-Porter, JOHNSTONS OF ELGIN, Ribbed cashmere socks, £35  

Darcey

I absolutely love winter fashion and so I welcome layering and snuggly accessories with open arms! I’m not very adventurous with my colours and find myself almost always going for black, but I just think black goes with everything (pretty much) so it’s always really wearable. I recently discovered touch-screen gloves and erm, why didn’t I find these sooner?! You also can’t go wrong with a chunky pair of boots and I love these Chelsea style ones from ASOS, they are super comfy and look great on too.

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN touch screen gloves in recycled polyester in black, £4 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN fisherman rib beanie hat in recycled polyester in black, £5 

*ASOS, COLLUSION Unisex logo scarf in black and white, £10 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN Aqum premium leather chunky chelsea boots in black, £80 

Lareese

I’m definitely in the minority but I just love Winter! I said what I said. There’s something about dressing in multiple layers and having the excuse to stay at home in the comfort of your slippers that just makes me inexplicably content. These faux fur sliders from Flattered are just the dream. It’s probably not the season to be looking out for sunnies but you need ’em in Winter too if you’v got watery eyes like mine and these are the best Celine dupes I’ve seen so I couldn’t resist. Finally, investing in a trusty pair of boots to see you through till Spring time is always money well spent in my eyes.

Holzweiler, Dipper Solid Hanger Lodengreen, €150 

*Dune, Tillsie – Black Knee High Zip Up Riding Boots, £250 

*Flattered, Lou Teddy Crème, £109 

*Arket, Wool Socks, £12 

*And Other Stories, Angular Cat Eye Sunglasses, £23 

 

Charlotte

I always love wearing colour but in winter especially I need whatever pockets of sunshine and positivity I can find! Since ditching my fringe earlier in lockdown after about 4 years I can FINALLY wear hats without completely squashing my curtain bangs and ruining them. I never actually got around to watching Emily in Paris but I feel like berets are having a revival because of it, and I love this mint green one from ASOS. My hands are always the part of my body that gets the coldest but with headphones, bags for life, masks and phones I so often get tangled up with them, so these gloves in which I can actually use my fingers properly when needed is a saving grace when you’re juggling a million things.

Accessorize, Super-fluffy colour-block scarf, £22 

*And Other Stories, Wool Beret, £23 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN fluffy bucket hat in lilac, £14 

*SuperDry, ORIGINAL & VINTAGE Gracie Cable Gloves, £16.99 

Danielle

Yesss everything I’ve picked is black, sue me! I’ve tried pretty pastel beanies and gloves in the past but they just get filthy and black is just so chic and timeless. I’ve gone for a cool utility crossbody to fit over every coat I own, a big scarf that can double up as a blankie, super long gloves so you don’t get that cringe naked wrist situation, and a beanie made of more of jersey fabric so you don’t get the even more cringe sweaty fluffy knit hair look.

*Weekday, Stand Crossbody Bag, £25 

*Weekday, Hero Beanie, £10 

*Weekday, Rei Scarf, £35 

*Weekday, Long Gloves, £18 

Holly

I LOVE nothing more than being warm and feeling cosy when it’s cold outside. I have such an array of winter accessories most of which clash but I’m not mad about it. I’m all for adding a bit of colour to accessorise in winter to curb some of the blues. Yellow is my favourite colour and I brought a very similar bobble hat last year. I’ve already been wearing it everywhere.

*Marks and Spencer, Knitted Faux Fur Bobble Beanie Hat, £12.50 

*Marks and Spencer, Super Soft Knitted Scarf, £12.50 

*Marks and Spencer, Super Soft Knitted Gloves, £7.50 

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

The events of the last year have rocked our mental health in ways we’ve never experienced before. There wasn’t enough pink Himalayan salt lamps nor sage bundles on the planet to ward off the relentless bad news – the tears (and tiers) just kept on coming and the proverbial rug was pulled from under our feet, never to be seen again.

Hit the mute button on anyone or anything that isn’t serving you and show up for your mind in ways you never thought you could. Here’s to finding the people who magnify your magic, not deplete it.

Matt Haig

Author Matt Haig has opened up the conversation for male mental health. In his first best-selling memoir published in 2015, he chronicled his experience with anxiety and depression which led him to consider taking his own life. Since then he’s gone on to write about his ongoing recovery and become, in his words, an accidental MH guru, consoling others online with his positive affirmations, frank humour, mood-boosting quotes and life-affirming perspective. Follow Matt here.

Lalah Delia

‘Helping you vibrate higher daily’ we couldn’t have summed up Lalah’s account better if we tried. Lalah Delia is a spiritual writer, wellness educator, certified spiritual practitioner and best-selling author. Her works and writings are focused on guiding readers on a journey back home to their empowered, higher potential, whole selves. From tapping into the present moment and tending to your power, one visit to her page will leave you feeling infinitely calm and on better terms with your higher self. Follow Lalah here.

Poorna Bell

Award-winning author, journalist and powerlifter, Poorna Bell works tirelessly to tackle the stigma surrounding addiction, male depression and suicide. Five years on from her husband Rob’s death, she’s giving others hope with her healing words and her unparalleled compassion for the lived human experience and all its facets. Follow Poorna here.

Notes From Your Therapist

Daily hand-written reminders that your feelings are valid. Celebrate your imperfections, lean into your truth, wear your vulnerability with pride and give yourself permission to feel the full range of human emotion. Follow Note From Your Therapist here.

All On The Board

Look what happens when a community comes together. Two employees at Transport for London made it their mission to make commuters smile by writing uplifting messages, inspiring quotes and poems on the customer information boards, originally meant for announcing delays and cancellations. Their heartfelt messages not only brighten up the daily grind with positivity and good humour but remind us that whatever our circumstances, whatever journey we’re on, everyone on earth has difficult days and we’re all in it together. Follow All On The Board here.

Nedra Tawwab

Whether it’s learning how to honour your boundaries, practising self-acceptance or protecting your energy, therapist Nedra Tawwab helps people create healthy relationships with themselves and others. Follow Nedra Tawwab here.

Real Depression Project

Founded by an ex-depression sufferer and a counsellor disenchanted with the mental health industry, The Depression Project is helping to dismantle the stigma and misconceptions surrounding depression and raise awareness of the symptoms, so non-sufferers can be better allies. Follow the Real Depression Project here.

Trevor Project

Simple self-care actions, beautiful illustrations and daily affirmations to remind you that your authentic self is always enough. Follow Trevor Project here.

Meg Boggs

Meg posts about self-love, motherhood, fitness, mental health and everything in-between, inspiring others to meet their worth and shine in the body they call home, one Instagram post at a time. Follow Meg here.

Breathe With James

Inhale for six, exhale for six. Sometimes, we all need a reminder to just breathe. Breathe slowly, deeply and intentionally – let go. Through his guided breathwork incorporating techniques such as visualisation and affirmation, James teaches us all to use breath as a vehicle to undo the emotional conditioning of the body and unlearn the emotional conditioning of the mind. To breathe is to connect with our emotional bodies in a state of unconditional presence and trust; to breathe is fundamental to our healing. Follow James here.

Black Girl In Om

Turning up for yourself takes daily commitment and Lauren Ash, Founder of Black Girl In Om, is showing black women everywhere how to do just that. BGIO is a community dedicated to giving women of colour a space to thrive – a space to breathe easy, to be liberated, empowered and seen. Whether it’s through meditation, sound journey, yoga or an IGTV heart-to-heart, this incredible community will guide you on your way to claiming your wholeness as a black embodied person. Sink into your greatness. Follow Black Girl In Om here.

Rupi Kaur

Rupi’s work touches on love, loss, trauma, healing, femininity and migration and if ever you find yourself needing a reminder of how wonderful it is to be a living, breathing, complex sentient being, her poetry will jog your memory. Follow Rupi here.

The Insecure Girls Club

Be it heartbreak, imposter syndrome, workplace wobbles, body image or chronic pain, whatever is causing you emotional harm right now, consider TIGC a safe space to bond, share, grow and bloom through all of it. Follow The Insecure Girls Club here.

Drop your favourite MH accounts below! Let’s share the love (and the load).

Whilst we might not have got to wear much of our wardrobes in 2020, (except for loungewear, plenty of loungewear), we can’t help but look ahead to the next few months and the slither of optimism we feel, and wonder … what are we going to WEAR? How exciting it feels to have that question pop up in our minds! For so long now many of us have lost our sense of self and the joy in dressing, whether that be in your glad-rags and fave lipstick or just your classic jeans (who?) and a nice top, it always feels good to look good in your outfit!

Say hello to puff-sleeved everything (thanks for the inspo Bridgerton), baseball caps, pastels galore and hip detail trousers that are enough to make our bank balance feel a little on the apprehensive side…

Puff Sleeves

Baseball Caps

Hip Detail Trousers

Pastels Galore

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

First of all, Happy New Year! What are you looking to get out of 2021?

Happy new year to you too guys! Gosh, 2020 has been a really tough year for everyone and I know we will all be happy to start afresh in 2021. I am really hoping to just be healthy and happy, that will be my priority. I watched one of my first YouTube videos of 2020 back last week and in the video, I was discussing things I wanted to achieve in 2020. I think this year has taught me that so many things are out of our control and that we just need to take it easy sometimes and not put too much pressure on ourselves to smash goals or life achievements. 

If anything, for 2021 I just want to prioritise my health and wellbeing. I think it is super important to check in with yourself regularly, take time out when you need it and really do the things that make your heart happy. My only other hope is that myself and my good friend Zara are going to put the steps in place to hopefully buy a house together which we are beyond excited for if everything goes to plan. Fingers crossed!

Talk us through your career online and how it’s evolved?

Whenever I think of my life online it makes me feel beyond lucky and grateful to call this my job. Like so many others, I grew up watching YouTubers. I was just a little guy in his small room in Durham watching these really cool people make videos from their bedrooms. I would rush home after school and turn on our computer and check to see if anyone had uploaded a new video. 

I started my blog back in 2012 called ‘Luke Does Life’ documenting my outfits and things I had cooked or baked (I haven’t archived the blog as I love to look back at it for the laughs but also just remind myself of how far I have come). 

I got my first job in my local pub at 13, washing dishes on Sundays after people would come for their roast dinners. I stayed there for quite some time until I got a job at Bill’s restaurant in 2013 as a Waiter. I started to take photos of the food that the restaurant served mainly because I loved the menu and was so proud of how far I had come since my pot washing early teen days. The woman who ran the social media accounts for Bill’s spotted my photos and invited me to London to help shoot some food content for Christmas. To this day, we still chat and I am so grateful for everything she taught me. 

I moved to London in September 2016 to start university. I studied Magazine Journalism and Publishing in the hope that I could one day I could be a food writer. I thought whilst being at university I wanted to document my time there. I started my YouTube channel in April 2017. My first video was a trip to Brighton, it was my dream to go one day after watching so many people I loved online visit. I just threw myself into vlogging in pubic. I went on my own and just explored the town, it was by far the most nervous I had ever felt. I worked part-time in coffee shops and retail alongside my degree and filming videos for YouTube on the side. Since then I have graduated from university and have been SO lucky to make YouTube and content creating my full-time job since June 2019. 

What are your favourite things to film for YouTube? 

I absolutely love getting in the kitchen. My whole family are foodies so I have grown up with the kitchen being the heart of the home. I love filming my 5-midweek meal ideas and any baking videos just bring me so much joy! 

I also really love vlogs, they are the reason I started YouTube. I am a big one for memories and love to document everything I do. I keep receipts, tickets, essentially anything I can that remind me of a time in my life. So daily/weekly vlogs are so lovely to film and watch back. 

We love your second IG account @lukecatleugheats have you always been into cooking and food?

Ahh thank you so much! I really need to get back into posting on there more often. I found myself gearing more towards YouTube for my food content as I found it easier to share visually and talk through the process. 

 For me, food is everything. It is the first thing I think of when I wake up and arguably the last thing I think of when I go to bed. Food is memories and it transports me back to a happy place. My Nana’s cakes were legendary and my Mam’s roast is second to none, these memories of food are my happy place. I remember one day I came home from school and used a spare notepad I had to start writing down everything my Mam cooked in the hope that one day, I could cook like her. I still have it to this day, although my handwriting is pretty illegible ha! 

What are some of your top goals you’d like to achieve in your career?

I would honestly say that doing what I get to do for a job makes me feel like the luckiest person alive. 

It would be a dream to one day release a cookbook. I know it sounds cliche and it’s a big goal but I would absolutely love to. I know they are SO much work, you literally have to try and test every recipe and there are so many wonderful ones already published, but I would love to do it almost as a memoir of every dish I love. 

We know you like to travel, where is top of your list when we’re able to again?

Oh my goodness I miss travelling. I know it is such a luxury to travel and this year has really reminded me how much I enjoy it. 

I solo travelled before I went to university for two months across America. It was the scariest thing I have ever done but by far the best. I really want to return to New York, it’s my favourite city in the world. 

 I would also absolutely love to go somewhere new and I feel like my skin needs some serious vitamin D. Any remote island would be a dream. I love Greece, the Mamma Mia island Skopelos or Naxos would be amazing just to get stuck into a good book and fully relax. 

What would you say is your biggest achievement to date?

I would say moving to London and really pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I got so stuck in my life and knew from a very early age that I wanted to see more of the world and meet more people. It was by far the best thing I did and gave me the confidence to put myself online. I really struggled with my self worth and saying yes to anything. However, since moving to London it really showed me that I can do anything if I am willing to say yes. 

What are you currently working on?

I don’t have any big projects at the moment, I just really want to focus on refining my content on YouTube and keeping a balance between food and lifestyle videos. I absolutely love creating recipe videos and a lot of viewers are asking for an online guide/virtual recipe book where they can see everything I have made. I have that on my list of things I would like to make for 2021!

Who are some of your favourite follows online?

I follow people online who bring me happiness and comfort from all walks of life and who share a variation of content. Some of my favourites are: 

@lisadawson – she shares gorgeous interior content on Instagram and her stories are so real and honest about life online and also being a mum! 

@iamtabithabrown – is possibly one of the most infectiously positive people I have ever followed. Her outlook on life, her recipes and her smile genuinely brightens my day. 

@Lonefoxhome – Drew Scott – one of the OG interior YouTubers, his DIY’s are amazing and the spaces her creates are incredible. 

@theptchef – Oli Brandon I am fairly new to TikTok (I am yet to post anything but I love what others create) – his recipes are so easy to follow and genuinely make me want to get in the kitchen and try something new! 

What do you always carry with you?

My camera I use to vlog, I rarely leave the house without it. It’s the classic G7X ii, by far the best point and shoot camera I have owned. It takes great photos, video and also is the perfect pocket size and of course hand sanitiser and a face covering (the bolder the better!)

What does your perfect weekend look like?

About a year ago, I would have said getting lost in the streets of a city I had never been to. But the year just gone has given me a whole new sense of appreciation and gratitude for my home and how lucky we are to have such a lovely space. 

So my perfect weekend would probably be spent watching movies, reading, going for long walks with my families little Labrador who I miss dearly and lots of baking. Sandwich in a cheeky nap and that right there is my idea of perfection. 

If you could only eat one meal again what would it be?

Pasta of ANY kind. I have repeatedly asked my Mam if we have some Mediterranean or Italian heritage in our family because I could genuinely eat pasta for the rest of my life. I had the most incredible garlic, lemon and chilli linguine in Florence a couple of years back and to this day, it remains my favourite meal I have ever eaten. So simple but mouthwateringly tasty. 

If you could give one positive message to our followers what would it be? 

One of my favourite quotes is “Happiness can be found in the darkest of places, if only one remembers to turn on the light”. 

I have really found that given the year we have just had, always remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. It may be dim or hard to see at times, but persevere and you will see it. Life can be really tough, so cherish every moment, ride the highs and the lows and remember that nothing ever good comes easy.