Ahh the home office. The tiny stretch of kitchen table. The uncomfortable chair that does nada for your posture. The sofa post 3pm when the afternoon is dragging. If you were anything like us then you may have optimistically assumed the whole WFH malarkey was going to be a quick stint of luxurious lie ins and access all areas to the snack cupboard. But alas here we are, almost 12 months later admitting defeat and the necessity of a routine, proper desk situ and with the knowledge of what we need to get sh*t done on the daily.

Zoe

This might seem quite random, but I love fresh flowers around my workspace, just a small vase! So a subscription to a flower delivery is always a nice way of having a fresh new bunch to brighten your space, especially as spring approaches. I’ve also included a nice lamp, I love a bit of mood lighting! Notebook is obviously an essential, and this one from A Good Company [ad – ambassador] is made from stone so completely waterproof and so lovely to write on. Lastly, I will always light a candle and my ultimate fave for this time of year is Baies from Dyptique!

*Arena Flowers Subscription

A Good Company, A5 Notebook

*Oliver Bonas, Recycled Glass Desk Lamp

*Diptyque Baies Scented Candle

Charlotte

Good vibes is what I’m seeking and good vibes is what I’m getting from this delicious combo of items that make the 9-5 feel like a breeze. First things first (I’m the realest), water! Ahh the age old essential. I’ve become somewhat lazy in walking the whole 10 steps to the kitchen of late so having a jug of water to keep me hydrated without needing to move a muscle is what I call a good use of my time. This Surviving and Thriving desk pad from Sighh is the mantra I need in the times when I am not thriving (often), and is the perfect size for mid-meeting notes and reminders. Some other posi accessorises include my healing stones which keep the good vibes flowing, and this adorable mini H Style print which honestly makes my desk space 10/10 more desirable.

Sighh, Surviving and Thriving Desk Pad

*Anthropologie, Good Vibes Healing Stones

*Urban Outfitters, Floral Glass Carafe

A Rose Garden, Harry Styles Line Artwork

Danielle

I like my working area as clear as possible (though it rarely is!) So my desk choices are minimal and serve a purpose. Love a good sanitiser spray as it sinks in quickly and this one smells incredible. Obviously, a candle and it should obviously be pink but any will do great for giving you that warm, cosy glow. Hydration is vital and a water bottle serves as a reminder, especially if it’s also pink. Trinket tray for any snacks or if you want to take off your earings at 3pm like I often do. A bit of greenery to help you feel more at one with nature.

Neom, Hand Sanitiser Spray

*Overose, Nudesse Candle

A Good Company, Pink Water Bottle

*Trouva, Flower Trinket Dish

*Trouva, Assorted Succulents

Darcey

I feel like I have now perfected my WFH set up after a whole year of doing it! Which to me seems absolutely wild, the longest but shortest year ever?! I am houseplant obsessed, so of course, I have a big old plant plonked on the corner of my desk. Oliver Bonas sell lovely pots as well! I think a nice coaster for your desk is a must too for that morning coffee, I have one with my initials on it which I love. Having a tray to pop all your bits and bobs on too is always handy, like pens, lip balms, etc. Papier sell the most beautiful diary’s, which are of course great for staying organised and aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Lastly, everyone needs a boujie pen for writing notes with, papersmiths are the best and you can buy refills!

Patch Plants, Anna 

*Oliver Bonas, Yucca Plant Pot

*Oliver Bonas, Initial Coaster

*H&M, Silver Tray

*Papier, Soleia Daily Planner

*Papersmiths, Ballpoint pen

Holly

I was finding working from hove very uninspiring, so did a little makeover on my workspace. It does make working from home marginally less dull, although I would still like to be back in the Office. Plants bring me peace, as do sloths, so they are a must. The pin-board helps me stay organised and is not as ugly as traditional pinboards. Then the rest are accessories which look nice and help me keep the mess at bay.

*John Lewis, Notice Board 

Ryman, Acrylic Drawers

Patch Plants, Ray

Not on the Highstreet, Pen Pot

*Oliver Bonas, Gold and Glass Photo Frame

 

 

Lareese

We’ve been working from home for an entire year now – how WILD is that? I like to think we’ve all become experts at finding tiny wins and small victories by now and making sure my desk offers 10/10 sweeping views and manicured vistas of pretty stationery, candles, aesthetic AF coffee cups and fresh flowers makes ALL the difference to my writing mood. Even if they’re nearby or just in my peripheral vision, it’s enough to make me feel quietly content as I hunch over my laptop. I’m obsessed with all the Papier journals but the Liv & Dom collaboration is my all-time fave and I’m not afraid to admit, I buy a journal a month knowing full well my handwriting will never be worthy enough to fill them. They’re works of art.

Papier, Meadows Daily Planner

*Anthropologie, Hotel Magique Boxed Cards

Maison Flaneur, Coffee Cup and Saucer

Bloom and Wild, Flowers

*Anthropologie, Hotel Magique Trinket Dish

Neom, Happiness Scented Candle

Maddie

This week is my last week before I head off on my maternity leave so it feels appropriate to talk about how I made my WFH desk work for me as well as it has up until now. I always try and have a nice water bottle with me to encourage me to stay hydrated, the bigger the better. My Momager notebook, a gift from Zoe, which I love, stays firmly by my side for all my calls and meetings. I would be totally lost without my MiGoals “get shit done” to-do lists. I write a new one at the start of each week which really helps keeps me on track and focused. Finally, I like a tidy desk space so anything to keep me organised and clutter-free is a must-have.

Hydranista

Central 23, Notebook

MiGoals, Get Shit Done Manifesto

Cox & Cox, Black Splatter Concrete Pot

*MADE, Podium Marble Desk Organiser

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*This post contains ad-affiliate links

The pandemic has seriously changed the way we date. If it was tough to meet people before, it’s a particularly haunting experience now. The once additional online portal to potential lovers has since become the – only – way to connect with fellow singles, which significantly shrinks the pool of hair wash-worthy soul mates and presents a new wave of dating hang-ups.

It’s not all bad news, though. In the absence of IRL dates, bare-skinned shoulder brushes in bars and smouldering looks across a candlelit table set for two, we’ve got the luxury of a slower, more sensual pace. We are woke for the real deal and less willing to compromise where compatibility and emotional chemistry is concerned and that can only be a good thing.

If you’re all swiped out and feeling deprived of physical intimacy and affection, or if your once vivacious, memoir-worthy dating life is dying a slow death on Zoom, we know just the woman who can help.

In this blog post, we caught up with relationship expert and Vice President of Dating.com, Maria Sullivan, to talk pursuing romance in the middle of a pandemic, spicing up your Zoom chat and how to get the most out of virtual dating.

How do you actually go about asking someone out?

Ask in a way that doesn’t require an immediate response – for example, ‘I’ve been thinking about it and I’d love if we could hangout. We should do something soon.’ Leaving things opened ended to start is very effective, as it gives that person a moment to consider what things could be like, without catching them off guard. It’s also best to ask in person. Feel free to drop hints through text or on social but making that move in person establishes that you really have thought about this, which demands a certain level of respect.

Dating during lockdown is HARD work, how can you know if a virtual connection has the potential to turn into something good IRL?

A virtual connection has the potential to turn into something good IRL if you are noticing signs such as:

Butterflies: You get excited every time you get a notification from your virtual date or you get nervous to have a video chat with them

Commonalities: If you share similar interests and have a lot of things in common

You start to miss them even when you haven’t met in person. Missing someone you have never met isn’t common, but if you start to get those feelings for your virtual date, that could be a sign that the relationship will work out IRL.

How to shake up a virtual date so conversation flows? 

Always have a set of questions prepared for your virtual date. This way, if you are starting to run out of things to talk about or just need an ice breaker to get the conversation started, you will have plenty of options in your back pocket!

Some examples of good questions for a date include:

Question: What do you do for a living?

Why: This question is a good ice breaker. People spend most of their time at work, so it good to get an idea of how they spend their days.

Question: What has been your favorite vacation?

Why: Everyone loves going on vacation and talking about what they did that made it so great. Asking this question on a first date will open up a conversation about where your date has traveled and if you are both into the same types of vacation destinations. 

Question: Would you rather…?

Why: Playing would you rather is a great way to fill any awkward silence and it will also tell you more about your date than you were probably planning on finding out. It is important to keep the questions silly and fun. Don’t ask anything too crazy. 

Question: What’s the most interesting fact you know?

Why: People are full of interesting facts. This is a fun question to ask to find out what your date knows, and you might even learn something new.

How do you conquer first date nerves?

Hit the gym before your date – Instead of letting all of your nervous energy bottle up, hit the gym and let it all out. This tactic helps to get rid of those first date jitters not only because it will help you relax, but it will also get your endorphins flowing creating a sense of confidence and happiness. 

Have a glass of wine – Having one glass of wine will help your body relax a little before your date and put your mind at ease. However, it is not a good idea to show up to a date drunk, so just try to stick to one glass for now.

Listen to your favorite upbeat music – Keeping yourself distracted before a date is a good way to help first date jitters because you won’t be over thinking everything that can go wrong. The best way to keep yourself distracted is to blast your favorite music. You will be too busy singing and dancing to overthink the night.

Just Breathe – When in doubt, breathe it out. If you can’t seem to get rid of your jitters, find a comfortable place to sit and breathe. Taking multiple deep breaths will help to relax your body and ease your mind. Breathe in calm, happy thoughts, and breathe out any tension and worry. 

How to move on and get back into dating after a tough breakup?

Make sure you are feeling your best. Being absent from the dating scene for an extended period of time might have you feeling out of touch. Nothing is sexier than confidence, so make sure you take the time to refresh your wardrobe, practice yoga or workout, take new pictures for your online dating profiles and do whatever it takes to boost your self-esteem.

Get online. See what the internet has to offer. There are lots of different platforms that cater to different preferences, find what interests you and create a profile.

Maria Sullivan

Take things slow. Jumping straight back into dating after being in a relationship for a long time may be weird at first. Test the waters by starting conversations with multiple people. Once you feel you have gotten back into the swing of things, you can take the next step and meet for coffee or dinner.

How to keep the spark when you’re in a long term relationship / new parents and spending so much time at home during lockdown?

Plan a date night once a week! Whether it be in person or over video chat, date nights are important because it is good to spend quality time with just your partner, giving them your full attention. Daily schedules can get hectic and it might be difficult to have in-depth conversations with your S.O. regularly. By taking time once a week to devote a night just to spending time together and catching up, will help to keep and even strengthen your relationship.

What’s your number one tip for dating confidence?

As the famous saying goes, confidence is key. Participating in a virtual date can be a little scary because you might not know the other person that well, or it might be awkward talking through an electronic device. Being confident in yourself and believing the date will go well, will lead to a better outcome. Be yourself on the date, tell jokes, funny stories, etc. and show your date your true confident personality. Confidence is an attractive quality, especially during a potentially awkward setting such as a virtual date.

My top tip for dating confidence is to just be yourself. When getting to know someone on a date, don’t be afraid to let your true personality shine because you could be sitting in front of someone that you will spend the rest of your life with. If a person doesn’t like / connect with your personality, then they aren’t your match.

Meeting parents for the first time is always a big deal, any tips to calm the nerves and give the best of yourself?

Meeting parents for the first time is very nerve-wrecking, but just breathe and be yourself. Parents love when you ask questions and give them a sense of who you are. Even though it might be difficult, try to be as outgoing and as personable as you can. Really show them who you are. 

What do you think dating will look like in the future? Will more people decide to stick to virtual dates before IRL dates do you think?

What are the absolute dos and don’ts of dating, particularly virtual dates?

Do look presentable – Even though you are probably sitting in your home for the date, still get dressed up and look your best. You want to show the person you are interested in that you care about the date and that you took time to get ready to talk to them 

Don’t be in a loud crowded room – Find an empty quiet space where you can hear each other and won’t have outside distractions. You want to make sure your date has your full attention, just like if you were out at a restaurant.

First of all, how are you and how are you finding 2021 so far?

I am well, I can’t really complain because I’m grateful for my situation despite the pandemic. 2021 feels like 2020 part 2 though, especially because in the UK we are still in a national lockdown. I can’t wait for things to go back to normal because I love nightlife, the city, the loud music, the drinking and socialising. Hopefully, we will be able to do those things soon.

Can you talk us through your career online and how it’s evolved?

I started speaking about sex online in 2017 when me and two other girlfriends created a sexual wellness company for us to vent about bedroom inequality between straight women and men, and to document our sexual liberation journeys. From then on, my online presence started to grow and so I was being asked to speak at events, participate in panels and overall share my thoughts and opinions on sex.

Offline I also work in the charity sector, teaching sex education to young people. It was only last year that I realised how much of an interesting and unique take I had on sex ed, sexual wellness and even relationships based on how people responded to me. People would tell me how much insight they gained or how inspired they were. And so I stopped underestimating myself and began to believe in myself as a knowledgeable person in my field.

For those that don’t know what can people expect to learn from you online?

Everything when it comes to sex, I don’t hold back and never have. Some people might think it’s a bit too much but I am so desensitised to speaking so openly about sex, so I have no filter.

What inspired you to get into sex education?

The lack of sex education I had growing up inspired me. I had to learn the hard way about a lot of things such as STIs and consent, so I felt it was important to advocate for better sex education. Sex is a part of all of our lives, yet so little accurate information is given to us. I believe that everybody should be sex-positive, so I believe using my voice and platform will encourage this.

We’re completely with you on the journey to normalizing female pleasure, why do you think it’s so important that we keep talking about it?

I think it’s important that we keep talking about it because 1 in 5 women in the UK will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. There are many reasons as to why sexual assault happens, and many of the times women don’t even realise that they experienced rape or sexual assault until after they learned about consent, or how to define pleasure for themselves. Or the fact that sex isn’t something that should be done to them. That painful sex is not normal, and neither is not communicating your desires.

Can you tell us more about some of your workshops?

I’ve done a few workshops over the past two years on STI’s and beating the STIgmas, the pleasure gap, sexting and digital dating and intimacy! They have all been in collaboration with other brands/organisations but this year I plan to host a few on my own. My workshops are always informative, and I encourage people to bring a pen and notebook as the knowledge I provide is always insightful.

What would you say is your biggest achievement to date?

My biggest achievement to date is being nominated for an award twice for my work. In 2019 it was for the NAZ Noscars Media Award and in 2020 it was for SH:24 and Brook’s Sexual Health Awards. The category I was nominated for was Micro-Influencer, which I won. Being recognised for my efforts means so much and encourages me to keep going.

What are you currently working on?

I am working on a few collaborations and commissions which I cannot speak too much about. And I’m also planning workshops!

Who are some of your favourite fellow sex educators online?

My favourite sex educators are Shakira Scott @scottyunfamous, Portia @froeticsexology, Celine @sexwithbaddies, Oloni @oloni, Michelle @polyamorouswhileasian, Niyyah @heauxonthegeaux, Jamie LeClaire @jamiejleclaire, Emily L. Depasse @sexelducation, Genevieve @squirtingisntpee, Yeside Olayinka-Agbola @oloricoitus, Roman Cohen @adwhoreable, Gabrielle Alexa @gabalexa, Ruby Rare @rubyrare, Eva Bloom @whatsmybodydoing, amongst many many more!

What do you always carry with you?

A cute little hand mirror!

What does your perfect weekend look like?

My perfect weekend looks like not stepping outside once, catching up with my favourite TV shows, endless amounts of my favourite foods, lots of sleep and my favourite sex toys on deck!

If you could only eat one meal again what would it be?

It would be one of my favourite Nigerian dishes Amala and Ogbono soup. Or Eba and Egusi soup, yum.

If you could give one message to our followers what would it be?

Embrace your sexuality, define pleasure for yourself and think for yourself!

Follow Rukiat on Instagram here!

Oh hi there, sorry we didn’t see you past our boobs being hoisted to high heaven thanks to IRL Bridgerton cosplay- 2021 is looking up! Regencycore is still going strong and its decadence is one that has transcended the high street. The likes of ASOS, & Other Stories and Zara have been flooded with endless corset-style variations, both in steamy underwear form as well as ready to wear tops that simply need a pair of killer jeans, heels and the Covid-19 pandemic to disappear. We can dream.

Corsets are well and truly here to stay in 2021, with figures from Lyst showing searches for corsets to have spiked by 123 per cent since the show first aired in December. Whether you’re seeking full-on Georgian drama and a well and truly snatched waist (Kim K at the 2019 Met Gala we’re coming for you) or simply a nod to trend with a lil’ ruched satin detail, this week’s team edit has it all.

Zoe

This style certainly isn’t something in my comfort zone or anything I’ve ever dabbled in before so looking for something I’d be totally comfortable wearing within this trend was key! I found 3 items all varying in degrees of Bridgerton-esque style. First was this gorgeous spring summer white dress which I’d pair with a hat and sandals! I love how crisp and fresh it is.
Next, I liked this velvet style top, which I thought would be nice with some mom jeans or flares.
Lastly is a very stripped down corset-style sweater but still has structure in it. I thought this would be a nice nod whilst also not going too wild.

*Reformation, Luce Dress, £265 

*Free People, Rancher Felt Hat, £108 

*And Other Stories, Fitted Sweetheart Neck Rib Top, £65 

Darcey

This outfit is giving me major Summer vibes when fingers crossed we will be able to socialise with friends more again! I love the corset trend and I think it’s super wearable for day and evening wear. I’ve gone for this lovely icy blue corset from Collusion, paired with baggy jeans and some Nike Air Force, it’s a super cute but casual look!

*ASOS, COLLUSION structed corset in ice blue co-ord, £18

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN organic mid rise ’90’s’ straight leg jeans in lightwash, £35 

*ASOS, Nike Air Force 1 ’07 Trainers In White, £90 

*ASOS, Monki Hilma recycled shoulder bag in beige, £18 

Maddie

I am so here for all the Bridgeton inspired fashion that is popping up everywhere. Although, at nearly 9 months pregnant a corset is obviously not an option, come next summer I could definitely see myself embracing the trend. Reformation does some really gorgeous modern takes on regency styling, I love their simple dresses and corset tops that look super cool paired with some relaxed jeans and trainers.

*Reformation, Lissa Dress, £300 

*Reformation, Radish Top, £160 

*Reformation, Oakleigh Top, £140 

*Urban Outfitters, Levi’s High-Rise Ribcage Straight Ankle Grazer, £95 

Matches Fashion, VEJA Campo V-logo leather trainers, £115 

Danielle

Let’s get one thing straight, I am absolutely never wearing anything remotely like a corset in the comfort of my own home, this outfit is one for the first night out or first boozy brunch when we’re able to! I love this wine coloured corset with balloon sleeves and think it would look great with some slightly less formal jeans, with clack and gold accessories. I can’t wait to put an outfit together that more than one person will see!

*ASOS, True Violet Plus corset detail corset with balloon sleeve in plum, £55 

*H&M, Slim Mom High Ankle Jeans, £19.99 

*ASOS, Stradivarius quilted mules in black, £29.99 

*ASOS, Glamorous Exclusive black waist and hip jeans belt with gold square buckle, £10 

*H&M, Necklace, £5.99 

Holly

In my head when I hear corset I think boob plumping, waist tightening red and black sexy clothes only to be worn in the bedroom. So I’m shocked to find out that these are actually daywear.
I’m manifesting being allowed to go to a pub again so I’ve gone for the classic ‘jeans and a nice top’ look ready to be on the wines. Added in some accessories to be the new chic me that I’ll be when we’re out of lockdown.

Prettylittlething, PLUS CREAM RENAISSANCE PRINT CORSET CROP TOP, £18 

*ASOS, Calvin Klein Jeans mom jean in washed black, £80 

*Sunglass Hut, Ray Ban, £131 

*Office, Accent Randed Block Heel Boots Black Leather, £99 

Lareese

A sweetheart neckline is as close to corset styling I’m going to get because let’s face it, I rarely wear a bra and a corset screams BRA to me. As much as I’m here for Regencycore, I don’t need my boobs to be tethered to my lingerie, not now, not in lockdown. So, thank you but no thank you. As a subtle nod to the sultry under garm, I’ve gone for a ribbed jumper with a boudoir neckline, so I can team it with my tailored trousers, a blazer and sneakers and not give the DPD driver too much to talk about.

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN jumper with sweetheart neckline in black, £28 

*And Other Stories, Duo Pleat Tailored Trousers, £65 

*Arket, Oversized Wool Hopsack Blazer, £135 

*And Other Stories, Veja V-10 Sneakers, £115 

Na-kd, Basic Squared Sunglasses, £12.95 

Charlotte

I’m not going to lie the thought of wearing a full-on corset about 12 months into only elasticated clothing feels a bit of a stretch (literally, the fabric will be bursting at the seams) but I LOVE this trend so I’m open to giving it a try. This look is something I’d be wearing if I was hitting the town and frequenting a trendy wine bar on the regular- the thought is almost laughable but I can SEE IT! Black feels very chic and that is an emotion I haven’t felt for a long time so this look feels v exciting. Also, this corset is like a micro hint at the trend because it really does look quite comfortable and non-restrictive, so maybe it will be okay after all!

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN corset with cowl neckline in black, £20 

*ASOS, The Ragged Priest mom jeans in black wash denim, £50 

*ASOS, Z_Code_Z Exclusive Helen heeled ankle boots in black croc, £38 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN ruched 70s shoulder bag with hardware strap in sage green, £20 

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*This post contains ad-affiliate links

Have you ever heard the terms rabbit and bullet bandied around and thought, now there’s a duo I wouldn’t want to find anywhere near my vagina? Then hello and welcome, this is blog post that is entirely weighted in favour of your orgasms.

Without further ado, let’s get into our round up of sex toys for beginners – you’ll be buzzing like a cranky fridge in no time.

Endless Love

With 14 different uses and 100 vibration combos, the Endless Love toy is the gift that keeps on giving. The curved design and flexible arm provide endless lovemaking possibilities (clue’s in the name) and hours of exciting play whether using alone or together, on top, against, in, under or in-between. Your soul will leave your body in the best possible way. Be sure to download the Satisfyer Connect app to control your device, and use the extensive range of intimate experiments.

Purchase it here and use code FEBLOVE40UK for 40% off!

The Surfer

Let’s start with the sultry staples. If you own a clitoris, you’re gonna need a toy that greets your hooded heroine with nothing less than a royal reception of pulsations and vibrations. Small, sleek and practically soundless, The Surfer is bound to make waves in your boudoir. It’s a great compact entry point vibrator that eases you into your self-pleasure journey and looks right at home on your bedside table too. Glide it all over your erogenous zones, make it a body party why don’t you.

Purchase it here!

Excite 10 Function Rabbit Love Ring

Although it’s designed for people with a penis, the humble cock ring is the ultimate couple’s toy, serving up pleasure for both parties. Worn on the shaft of the penis, it keeps your erection harder for longer by gently constricting the blood flow and offers clitoral stimulation during hetero intercourse. Featuring 3 speeds and 7 vibration patterns, you can customise your mutual pleasure with the simple touch of a button. Sharing is caring, people.

Purchase it here!

LELO Picobong Transformer

Is it a skipping rope? Is it a two-headed tadpole? You’ll be glad to hear it’s neither of those things. This intriguing bit of sex tech does it all. From clitoral stimulator to double ended dildo and prostrate massager – as intimate toys go, this one’s basically a contortionist ready to twist and bend to suit your needs. What a time to be alive.

Purchase it here and use code LOVE10 for 10% off!

The Penguin

Because why shouldn’t your pleasure products dress for the occasion? It’s been 12 long months since we dressed to the nines, so at least someone is making the effort round here and this tuxedo shall not be wasted on us. This Cute with a capital C Penguin stimulates the clitoris using Satisfyer’s revolutionary suction-like technology featuring 11 modes of intensity and a whisper-quiet mode for discreet downstairs action. Your housemates will be none the wiser.

Purchase it here and use code FEBLOVE40UK for 40% off!

8 Function Mini Magic Wand Vibrator

No one wants to be shelling out the big bucks for their first experimental wand, nope. At this point, you’re probably looking for the appetiser or a side plate, not the kind of main that leaves you stuffed and unable to walk. Ahem. This sleek and powerful gadget offers 8 speeds and patterns in a travel-friendly size so you can take it with you wherever you go (not that we’re going anywhere these days!)

Purchase it here!

The Fruity Delight

Who knew a radish could have us throbbing at the loin. There’s a first time for everything! All hail the glass dildo of dreams, the fairest of all the land – sleek, cute, aesthetically banging, it’s like Cinderella’s slipper on heat and we are now fully committed to getting our five a day, the fairytale way.

Purchase it here!

Booty Blue Butt Plug

If you like your buzz from behind but don’t know where to start, then a little petite anal plug is a great introduction to booty play for beginners.

Purchase it here!

The Ballerina

Ever feel like your whole vagina needs a hug from top to bottom? Enter ‘The Ballerina’. An expert in her field, she handles your intimate anatomy with all the grace and synchronised finesse of Tchaikovsky‘s Dance of the cygnets. The palm-sized toy cups the vulva in an intimate embrace and provides a unique velvety texture akin to a lover’s touch. Swan Lake has got nothing on this dancing queen.

Purchase it here!

Love Triangle

The Satisfyer Love Triangle combines proven Air-Pulse Technology with deep vibrations to bring you to your personal pleasure pinnacle with ease. The sleek triangle shape with a lid makes this one of our more subtle selections, but we can guarantee your experience will be anything but subtle!

Purchase it here and use code FEBLOVE40UK for 40% off!

This post is not part of a paid advertisement, however we have worked with Satisfyer in the past.

Welcome back to another instalment of our modern age agony aunt series Between You and Me. A chance for our audience to ask WWYD and we can give out our Millenial 2 cents free of charge!

This month we’re tackling feuds with boys, pill troubles, hair loss, love triangles, masturbation and more. So keep reading to see what we had to say, you might just identify with one of our lovely readers yourself, and feel free to comment on this post if you have some advice you think is worth sharing too.

If you’re in need of a bit of sisterly advice and you’d like to ask WWYD, email betweenyouandme@zoella.co.uk and we’ll do our best to come back with some solid life advice.

Lareese

Hello lovely! Well done for opening up about this. No doubt there will be plenty of people dealing with the pressure to explore their bodies by a certain point but honestly, there’s no expiration date on it. It can feel a lot like you’re falling behind in the race to grow up and experience all these things, especially when you hear friends talking about their adventurous sex lives and first-times. I think we all tend to build these things up to be a massive deal when it hasn’t happened to us yet and that’s probably where a lot of your apprehension is coming from. Masturbation feels best when you relax and get out of your head and into your body – easier said than done if the thought of exploring your body makes you feel tense. It sounds to me like inserting fingers just isn’t your thing! Did you know that 80% of women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex? The majority of women can’t come without clitoral stimulation – I for one don’t get anything out of jabbing myself with my fingers, so to answer your question – YES you’re totally normal and NO there’s nothing wrong with you. We’re all turned on in different ways and I think self-pleasure is definitely all about trial and error. You’ll find your groove with it and discover what makes you tick in your own good time. I recommend dabbling with intimate toys for beginners, something like a budget-friendly bullet vibrator to target clitoral stimulation might be just the thing you need. There’s so much more to self-pleasure than fingers and I have a hunch that you may need to explore those other beautiful ways to touch yourself and all your erogenous pleasure zones. Have fun exploring!

Danielle

Hello love! Thanks so much for writing in and being so brave about what you’re going through, it must feel really lonely and confusing, but please know there is NOTHING wrong with you. Sex and everything that surrounds it is just a preference, some people don’t like marmite or aren’t fussed about eating it, the same can be said for masturbating. There is a lot of societal pressure about what people should and shouldn’t be doing and when, but you need to go at your own pace, there’s no rush. I think Lareese has done an excellent job of telling you how you might get more enjoyment out of masturbating, and how to deal with trial and error with your own pleasure. On the other hand, I wonder if you’ve looked into asexuality and some of the terms surrounding it? We have an article coming on Monday (22nd Feb) where we’ve interviewed lots of people who identify as Asexual, Ace or Grey Ace and it’s far more complex than having no interest in sex at all. Some people still have romantic attraction and have or want to have a partner but are not interested in the intimate side of the relationship as it’s a large spectrum that you might find yourself on in some form or another. Regardless of whether any of that applies to you, I just want you to know there are lots of people out there who feel the same way as you and I think seeking them out online would definitely bring you some comfort. Good look on your journey!

Charlotte

Hi lovely! I’m so sorry you’re having a tricky time with this at the moment as I know how much appearance and the things outside of our control can impact self-esteem – it’s a horrible feeling to be battling so firstly I’m sending a big virtual hug.

I haven’t dealt with hair loss but I naturally have very fine hair so can absolutely relate to how disheartening it sometimes feels to look at others around you and compare. Issues like this can feel hard to talk about, but social media is a wonderful place for information, community and support and I’ve personally found a lot of solace in online accounts that help me deal with my own, hard to talk about struggles. I’ve seen a lot of conversation about thinning hair on TikTok actually, and a simple search of ‘thin hair’ on the app brings up thousands of videos and accounts with tips, support, wig advice and general positivity that might help you feel a little more seen and heard.

I can totally relate to the idea of working on yourself in one sense but then achieving that goal and then having to deal with your next appearance-related hangup. Without diminishing how you’re feeling in regards to your hair, maybe take a moment to consider if you’ll ever feel 100% happy with your appearance and that maybe if that issue was resolved your brain might move its thinking onto another part of your looks. Chasing the end goal of ‘confidence’ means the parameters can often be muddied and I would hate for you to be on an endless quest that none of us really ever fulfil.

In terms of some tangible things I think could help with your hair worries, I know lots of people that rave about the Multi-Peptide Serum for Hair Density from The Ordinary which is around £15 so might be an affordable option worth trying. I don’t think you need to necessarily shave your head to experiment with wigs either! Again my TikTok obsession has shown me how much people wear wigs and most of those women have tips and tricks for incorporating their natural hair or tucking it away that look really seamless and realistic. Halo hairpieces, in particular, look amazing and incredibly natural so that could be a great option for you!

I know when your confidence is knocked everything surrounding that issue can feel really overwhelming, so I’m sending lots of love and light your way. You’re absolutely not alone in this struggle and I hope you can maybe step into a journey of appreciating your wonderful self, thin or thick hair aside.
xxx

Darcey

Hey anon!

I just want to start off by saying I am really sorry you are going through this, losing your hair can be really traumatic and makes you feel super out of control of your own body. Especially frustrating too when people say, “it’s only hair!” eye roll.

I think personally the best thing to do (if you haven’t already) is to go to your GP for a check-up, as it’s best knowing why this is happening, so you can find some sort of solution to the problem. I also saw that you said you recently lost 10kg, sometimes weight loss, especially if it is in a short amount of time, can cause hair loss. You potentially might not be nourishing your body enough, this can send your body into a bit of a shock mode, which can make your follicles inactive which causes the hair to fall out. Of course, I am not a doctor and you may have already explored this avenue, but if you haven’t, I think speaking to a doctor about this is really important.

I want to add too that stress can also cause hair thinning and loss and we are currently living in a very stressful time with the pandemic. I lost virtually all my eyebrows in my final year of university due to stress, and although I can’t fully compare it to your situation, I remember feeling extremely stressed by it, which probably made the hair fall out more! What I had to keep reminding myself, was that hair grows back in most cases, so once I knew it was due to stress, I was more confident of it returning. That’s why speaking to a GP is so important, so you know exactly what you are dealing with.

One thing that worked wonders for me was castor oil, I applied it to my eyebrows every day consistently for a year (want to note that eyebrow regrowth is MUCH longer than from your scalp, hair regrowth for you should be quicker) and my eyebrows are now back too normal!

But lastly, I want to say that although this hair loss feels extremely stressful at the moment, it will get better. There are so many ways you can cover the hair loss, with hats, wigs, etc. But moving forward try and regain your self-confidence, you are beautiful with the hair loss, or without it. We are so much more than the exterior. Things will get better.

Danielle

I’m diving STRAIGHT into this one and telling you to call him up and ask him who the actual F he thinks he is! He sounds like a real selfish asshole who was quite happy to be your friend, then friends with benefits, and now what? Because that’s not how friends treat each other regardless of gender or past sexual encounters. Living in your room is a HUGE breach of your trust and boundaries, then on top of that, you add the reason he’s there which is because he’s been a terrible friend to his supposed best friend, THEN you find out he’s bringing back other girls there. I’m fuming for you! I’m semi glazing over the fact that you kind of have feelings for him and you’re hurt that he seems to have moved on, but let’s be honest with each other and say you may have dodged a bullet here as he seems like the worst kind of guy. I would make some basic demands when you speak to him which are: Vacate my room and never step foot in there again unless invited, apologise to you profusely and realise how shitty his actions are, go away and think about what kind of person he’s turning into by betraying not one, but two of his close friends, for heaven’s sake is sleeping with girls that much more important to him? During a bloody pandemmie none the less!! You’re probably better off without this guy in your life or at the most keep him at arms distance and move on romantically as quick as you can!

Darcey

Hey anon!

Let’s start off with the facts, he has zero respect for you or anyone it seems! I would quite simply call him, tell him to get out of your room ASAP and block that boy. No one needs to be dealing with that, like bringing back girls to your room in the middle of a global pandemic? When he knows you like him? The AUDACITY. The fact he could sleep with his best friends’ girlfriend, just shows you the type of person he is. Quite frankly, you have dodged a massive bullet. Because whether you stayed friends or were in a relationship, he was going to disrespect you again at some point.

It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. He also needs to grow up and confront the shitstorm he has created (I’m assuming back in his own flat) and face up to his ‘best friend’ about sleeping with his girlfriend. Instead, he is dragging you into it by staying in your room, not the drama you need right now, he’s absolutely no friend. He owes you a massive apology, although by the sounds of how he behaves, you probably won’t get one. He sounds like a narcissist to me, he’s probably blissfully unaware of all his wrongdoings.

I know when you like someone it’s quite hard to see their bad and not compare it to the good, but advice from a gal who also liked a guy with narcissistic tendencies, it just cannot work. Because they will never see things from your point of view, they will make you feel small, it’s just not worth it! I say get him out that room and out your life, thank u, NEXT!

Danielle

This is such a great problem to write in with because I’m sure I’ve been in your shoes and people rarely like to admit that they’re the ‘other woman’ even if you haven’t actually done anything more than be friends with said guy. I feel like you’ve got quite a good grip on the situation already by saying – you know it’s not good for you, and also asking the right questions – Am I only feeling this way because I can’t have him? Possibly! You might start something up and realise it’s not what you thought it would be. Is he only flirting because he’s bored of his long term relationship? Possibly! Maybe he likes the attention from you but has no intentions of splitting up with his gf. It’s really hard to answer hypotheticals especially when you think you really like someone. I know you keep comparing other people to him but I think when you find the right person, and you haven’t spoken to the guy with a gf for a while you’ll be able to move on and be happy. You’ve got a couple of options of things you can do – fizzle out the chats with him and try and move on as best you can, or, shoot your shot, tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same way, and then you’ll have your answer, but it might not be the one you want, and if it is it might not end well. Personally, I’d go with the first option, and as you correctly put it – if it’s meant to be it’ll be.

Maddie

Hey Anon, thanks so much for writing in with your dilemma. It’s messages like this we get where I wish I could know more so I could give a more in-depth response. Has there been any physical contact? When you say flirty is it in the vein of compliments and playful touch or is it more friendly and jokey? From the sounds of your message, it sounds quite innocent and friendly so far and it could just be his personality to be that way. That being said if I put myself in his long term girlfriends shoes (shoes I have found myself in past relationships) then I could definitely see how it’s starting to feel like a triangle is forming which would be incredibly hurtful and damaging to her and indeed their relationship. If I’m being brutally honest, if you’re finding it too hard to just be friends with him, I do think you should cut ties. If you’re developing feelings and you feel like they are being reciprocated then he is effectively emotionally cheating on his girlfriend which I think gives a really big insight into where his morals and ethics stand. Again if I’m being frank, if he wanted to be with you, he would be. I know there are often complications and hurdles when it comes to relationships but sometimes it really is that black and white and you deserve to be with someone that only wants to be with you. I do agree with your last sentiment, timing is everything and if his current relationship doesn’t work out then there’s no reason you couldn’t explore something more in the future but I don’t think it’s fair on you to wait around for someone who is already in a seemingly committed long term relationship. All the best and thanks again for writing in. x

Holly

Hello love,

I have so many mixed emotions about this, I can only imagine how confused you must be feeling. It’s such a hard time to go through a break up anyway, let alone a messy one. There’s no distractions!

Let me start by saying that absolutely anything you do to help yourself heal after a break up is not ‘mean’ or selfish. You absolutely have to put yourself first and listen to that advice you have no doubt been giving your friends for the past 10 years. This sounds like a cut him out of your life situation to me. I know that’s easier said than done but if it helps, it doesn’t have to be permanent.

I have ex’s that I’m now really good friends with and ex’s that I never spoke to again. But every single one I have taken a substantial break from after we broke up. Gives you time to learn about yourself and evaluate what the added to your life.

The sooner you let go, the sooner you’ll heal. It’ll be shitty for a long time but in the long run you’ll be so much better off. You deserve someone who wants to make you feel incredible and gives you the world. Know your worth.

It is also completely normal to be jealous of the new girl, especially if he’s still talking to you. You’re probably still hoping there is a chance you’ll get back together. But I think you should let him be her problem now.

Know your worth!
Sending you so much love,
Holly xx

Maddie

Hey! Thanks for writing to us and sorry to hear you’re going through this, being cheated on is absolutely awful. Let me start by saying that I’m going to speak to you like I would speak to my past 24yr old self and give you advice that I wish I had listened to at the time. To put it into context I was repeatedly messed around by the same boy for the most part of my early 20s (cheated on, lied to, gaslighted you name it) so I can completely relate to how you’re feeling. To be blunt, this boy does not deserve your friendship, trust or anything else from you. He is having his cake and eating it too, it’s not right what he’s doing and all you can try and do in this situation is be strong and walk away. I know it’s incredibly hard when there are feelings involved but I assure you it’s for the best in the long run and you will look back at the situation and realise you’ve had a lucky escape. I’m not saying you could never be friends but honestly, it doesn’t sound like he has much respect for women so think about why you would want to be friends with someone like that. I hope this helps and has made you realise that you deserve SO much better than how you’ve been treated. Not all men are like this so block the boy and don’t look back. All the best lovely x

Holly

Hello love,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling a bit at the moment. I feel your pain, socially distant walking dates are not the one. There’s nothing to do but…talk! I find it really awkward and actually quite enjoyable. I think I’m going to take some time out to focus on myself at the moment. I’m a strong believer that things happen when they’re meant too. If you try and force a relationship you’ll end up settling and it will never work out in the future. Maybe try out some new things (when we’re allowed to) and meet new people, with the intention of just making some new friends but if anything more happens, great!

As hard as it is, I think it’s a good thing that this guy you went on a date with was honest. Did he say why he wasn’t feeling it? If you have the opportunity to, I would ask so you know if it’s something you could work on. Or, it might be something you wholeheartedly disagree with and wouldn’t compromise to be in a relationship. Either way, you learn something about yourself and about the kind of person you want to be with.

As far as not liking how you look, I’m so sorry you’re feeling like that. I know what it feels like to be self-conscious but the person you end up with will love you for exactly who you are. I’m willing to bet you’re pretty perfect in a lot of peoples eyes, even if you don’t see it yourself. Make sure you’re following positive, likeminded people on Instagram. I recently did a whole sweep and unfollowed everyone that didn’t bring me joy when I see their posts and it’s helped me to no end.

Bottom line is that relationships aren’t the be-all and end-all. Focus on the other areas of your life that bring you happiness, friends, family, good music, fresh air etc. Your time will come and you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince or princess!

Darcey

Hey anon!

Modern dating is a bloody minefield, especially when you add a pandemic into the mix! Being rejected can really hurt, when I first started using dating apps, I found it quite hard when someone ghosted me or I chatted to someone for a while, for them to turn around and say they aren’t interested. Shifting my mindset towards dating really helped me feel less blue when a potential romantic relationship didn’t work out.

Firstly, it’s not “will they like me”, its “will I like them”. See every first date like an interview, like you are Simon Cowell, and they are auditioning for the X-Factor. Secondly, if you do like them, but they don’t like you and decide to cut things off, be grateful you didn’t waste a second longer on the wrong person. Thirdly, attraction is SO much more than your appearance. So please don’t think that because someone has decided to cut things off, means it must be to do with your appearance. Attraction is all about how someone makes you feel, your similarities, how well conversation flows. There are so many factors to consider, so if someone rejects you, it can be for any reason. But the right person, will love every part of you, and that’s what we are looking for! The right person!

I don’t blame you for feeling fed up with dating at the moment, it’s not the usual fun (mostly ha) dating experience of going for a nice meal and drinks due to Covid. Maybe if you are feeling a bit down about it, take a step back from dating for a few months. In a few months restaurants etc might be open too, so the experience is overall more enjoyable and you can start dating again with a fresh mindset.

Lareese

Hey lovely! Going on and coming off the pill is always a bit of a wild and bumpy ride, isn’t it? I don’t think there’s one size fits all and it certainly takes a bit of trial and error to figure out what suits you. I was on the oldest and cheapest pill of the lot (Microgynon) for a good 14 year stretch without a break and I came off it just over a year ago after feeling like I wanted to get to know my body again. I’d forgotten what a natural period felt like and I just wanted to be hormone-free after being on contraception for so long. Apart from throbbing boob ache for a couple of weeks, my transition was relatively painless which was a relief because I was fully prepared for it to be hellish having been on it for so long.

With everything going on at the moment, it’s difficult to know whether your panic attacks and anxiety were directly linked to taking the pill or perhaps your mental health has just taken a hit because of the last 12 months of uncertainty – it could certainly be a combination of the two. Is there anything else going on in your life that could be making you feel anxious, perhaps? I know you mentioned you’re not normally an anxious person but I think we can absorb a lot of negative energy subconsciously (even more so over the last year) which could be impacting your mental health.

I wouldn’t completely rule out taking the pill if it worked for you in the first instance but I think having a chat with your sexual health nurse / GP is a good idea so you can discuss your concerns and consider other options. It’s worth keeping a little log of all your side effects and mentioning your anxiety and changes to your skin so you can be ready to pinpoint exactly what happened and when. The more you can tell them, the better your chances of finding a pill or another form of contraception that suits you. As you have experienced before, taking a new pill can be a tad unpredictable and things can take a few months to settle down but if this isn’t the case, don’t hesitate to go straight back to your GP. The pill can be great for regulating your periods, easing cramps and reducing acne but it’s not for everyone and it’s certainly not worth taking something that could be compromising your physical and mental wellbeing.

Although my experience coming off the pill was pretty drama-free, I have friends who have felt like they were losing their minds, so you’re definitely not an anomaly. Good luck with exploring other options my love – always push for what you need from your GP xx

Charlotte

Hello! Ahh the many trials and tribulations of finding contraception that works for you- it can be exhausting and I think almost everyone goes through this uncertainty period so it’s absolutely normal to be feeling conflicted.

I’ve been taking the pill for 6 years now, and for the first 12 months I was prescribed Dianette, a type of the combined pill with a 7 day break each month, primarily for contraception but also to help with acne and oiliness. I eventually had to stop taking the combined pill as I was having problems with migraines and vision impairment (both of which I had experienced on and off during my teenage years so was never 100% sure it was down to the pill) but this is a big red flag for doctors regarding the specific hormone that’s in the combined pill. Following that and for the past 5 years I have been taking Cerelle which is a form of mini pill which I take continuously with no break, and thankfully I have been lucky and had a very smooth experience! It has also stopped my periods completely during this time which has been great as I always had very painful periods, and in recent years developed a pelvic pain condition so not having to bleed every month if I don’t need to is such a benefit I’ve found in the mini pill.

I was really reluctant to change from the combined pill originally as I felt it had a lot of benefits, but actually if I hadn’t had that slightly rocky experience I would still be having periods every month and wouldn’t have tried out the mini pill at all. I think trial and error and being open to things not going smoothly to begin with is really important in deciding upon a contraception route. Your daily intimate health is so, so personal and crucial to your happiness and quality of life so don’t feel despondent if you’ve hit a couple of walls so far. If hormonal contraception isn’t ticking your boxes then there are other options that you could consider, and this article from Clue is really great at breaking them down! https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/nonhormonal-birth-control-options

There seems to be lots of conversations happening at the moment surrounding the pill and I hear all the time of friends ditching it for good because of side effects and wanting to experience adult life as a woman without added hormones and just to let their bodies be for a while. I know Lottie of The Tummy Diaries has spoken a bit about this recently so it might be worth giving her a follow! https://www.instagram.com/p/CLaF6nTnRNa/

Best of luck and please know you will find your groove with this eventually!

Our humble homes, whether we love them or hate them at this point, have seen us through a lot in the past 12 months. But as much as we’ve learnt to utilise our spaces for work, rest, play and the many, many lockdown emotions in between, staring at the same four walls on repeat (and then some) might mean an interiors update is well and truly justifiable- hellooo incoming haul. 

Enter: 2021’s most noteworthy interiors trends. Sage everything, whimsical cottagecore, effortless Japandi style and faithful home offices are where it’s at for both small and mighty renovations that can transform your space quicker than you can say ready, steady, ‘add to cart’.

The need to know …

Next up: Cottagecore. TikTok accelerated this whimsical trend in 2020 and it’s here to stay this year too, as the Internet’s latest spin on rustic reverie. In many ways Cottagecore is a lifestyle as much as it is a trend, embodying simple, idyllic living that embraces nature and femininity, but there are a few simple ways of bringing this trend into the home that can give you your own slice of hazy homeware. Think farmhouse living, the English Cotswolds, faded florals, the combination of old and new and bringing the outside in. It’s Taylor Swift’s ethereal Folklore brought to life and we cannot get enough.

We love a blend of trends that tick multiple boxes in one, and Japandi living does just that. Combining the cosiness of Scandi hygge and the minimal serenity of Japanese interiors, this trend is one that thrives in 2021 as we continue to seek comfort from our homes. Both the Eastern and Western influences here focus on minimalist warmth and practicality, making this zen take on home living one we can all benefit from. Think clean lines, natural light woods, quality driven materials, elegance and cleansing house plants. It’s the ultimate trend fusion to embody calmness in the home, and goodness do we need it!

And finally, we’re still out here talking about the humble home office. The makeshift meeting rooms and clutter shoved just out of view of your webcam might have seen you through the start of the pandemic, but to keep your mental health and productivity in check, nailing this setup is essential. Everyone has their workspace preferences, but a combination of calm, comfort and inspiration make for a foolproof space that can keep you motivated along with a morning coffee and killer Spotify playlist.

2020 made us hyperaware of the importance of having a home that truly feels like one, and as we continue to spend more time in our protective spaces, there’s never been a better time to refresh and revitalise your sanctuary. 

There really isn’t much some fresh bedding and a cuppa in a calming space can’t fix.

Sage Accessories and Décor

Cottagecore 

Japandi

Statement Headboards 

All Hail the Home Office

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

Living life alongside depression, whether it be a daily battle or appearing in bouts, can be a complex and draining experience, oftentimes leading to a lack of motivation and desire to do anything other than basic survival. Lockdown (all three of ‘em) has tested the mental health of everyone, but there is something to be said for partaking in a hobby that might just be the golden ticket to healthy distraction from the complexity of mental illness.

Sounding too good to be true? Keep reading for the ultimate accessible activities list, and learn how to make your hobbies habitual…

Cooking up a storm

Did somebody call the Duke of Hastings because wow your cooking skills are leaving us speechless after one lick of that spoon. Planning meals and cooking for yourself regularly can be really challenging when basic self-care feels unachievable, but there’s a lot to be said for a little extra time in the kitchen both to nourish your body and heart.

Cooking is an incredibly grounding activity, focusing the mind on small, achievable steps at a time and temporarily allowing you to give focus to something tangible.

Hobbies that not only help to soothe your mind but also enhance your day are endlessly beneficial, and cooking a simple but delicious meal provides a huge boost of accomplishment, whilst also ticking off survival self-care in one fell swoop.

For those with difficult relationships with food, learning to perfect some basic but tasty meals or bakes can be even more rewarding in the long run. We believe in you!

Please don’t stop the music

The pubs and clubs might be closed but come hell or high water, we’ll still be bopping around the kitchen with a drink in hand. There are mood-boosting chemicals aplenty to be found after a shimmy to Shake It Off (other pop songs are available), with studies finding the increased levels of happiness after dancing can manifest in the body for up to a week afterwards – work smarter, not harder people.

And it doesn’t stop there – the human connection that can be harnessed from dancing with others helps to increase feelings of interconnectedness and community, giving us another glimmer of positivity on our long list of things to look forward to post-pandemic.

Move, stretch, breathe, repeat

In states of dissociation and extreme low mood, it’s easy to feel like the world is moving on around you whilst you’re standing still. Using grounding techniques can help redirect your brain from distressing thoughts and allow you to come into your body and calm the mind.

Yoga and Pilates are wonderful, mindful hobbies to take up and require no equipment, (if you don’t have a yoga mat you can use a beach towel or blanket) whilst making a big difference to your day and general mood. If you struggle with insomnia due to mental illness, then small breathing and stretching practices can do the world of good in relaxing the mind and body and signifying to your brain that it’s time to rest. We love Yoga with Adriene, @mindfuldeandre and @theunderbellyyoga.

The art of average art

Art therapy is a real thing, and you don’t need to be in formal counselling to feel the benefits. Using different artistic mediums to express your feelings is a great way of venting and channelling emotions that might feel hard to vocalise verbally.

“Our ‘hobbies,’ have become too serious and lost here is the gentle pursuit of a modest competence, the doing of something just because you enjoy it, not because you are good at it,” – Tim Wu, Author and Columbia University law professor.

Finding your inner author

Whether it be journaling about your IRL worries or taking yourself to another destination altogether, getting thoughts down on a page is something that can help quiet the brain and grant a moment of clarity. We’re loud and proud fans of Matt Haig and his brilliant collection of books are a testament to how beneficial it can be to channel difficult emotions into creative writing.

Oftentimes the lows of depression can trigger thoughts it might be difficult to share with loved ones, but writing provides an outlet for these spiralling anxieties that might be challenging for even you to decipher.

Writing is like an exploration of the mind, unlocking doors that might currently feel slammed shut and helping you to feel more in touch with yourself and others. And, if it’s a community you’re seeking out, there are endless online groups that can connect you with others and encourage you to share your words, if you wish to.

In a pandemic winter it can feel preferable to hide under the covers with Netflix and a mountain of carbs, and whilst on many occasions this is totally valid, even the smallest dip of a toe into a new hobby can be transformative in extended periods of low mood. Rope in a friend and hold each other accountable or switch up your routine with someone in your household and let’s get working on our mental health pals.

First of all, how are you and how are you finding 2021 so far?

Being totally honest, I am STRUGGLING with 2021. I have zero motivation and have a complete lack of confidence in myself, so even getting out of bed before 9:30 am is an achievement! I’m trying to focus on the things we have to look forward to – spring, the days getting longer and each day being closer to spending time with family!

Can you talk us through your career online and how it’s evolved?

I started a beauty blog in 2010 whilst I was doing my photography degree – I just loved talking about makeup with this awesome online community whilst taking nice pictures to match! After university, I started working in social media and ran the Twitter/FB/Insta accounts for beauty brands and every evening and weekend I would write blog posts and film YouTube videos for my own platforms!  I then took the plunge to quit my day job and focus on content creating full time which I feel so lucky to be able to do!

What can people expect from you online in terms of the topics you tackle?

I want to inspire, empower and make people feel confident and beautiful within themselves, whilst chatting openly about topics all women experience growing up!  From acne, to birth control, from how to get over a breakup to going on Tinder dates, to body confidence and sex toys, I like to talk to my followers as I would a best friend… no topic is too taboo.

What are your top tips for staying motivated during the pandemic?

Firstly don’t put too much pressure on yourself, we all need days to wallow and mope around and feel a bit hopeless because of this bizarre situation we’re all in.  Don’t write a huge to-do list and feel awful about yourself if you don’t get it done – everything you accomplish is an achievement, from taking some time to self care to putting a knicker wash on, to writing an email and showing up virtually to your friends, be kind to yourself and you’ll feel more motivated!

What advice would you give to someone wanting to create content online?

Start now! Don’t put it off for another day.  Also please try not to compare yourself to what everyone else is doing and instead just focus on creating content that you enjoy and would want to see yourself. My other biggest tip is consistency – create a little schedule and try to stick to it, whether that be to post 3 Instagrams and week and one YouTube video every Monday; it’s nice for your followers to look forward to your content.

What would you say is your biggest achievement to date?

In 2017 after documenting my acne journey on my YouTube channel, I presented my own BBC Newsbeat documentary all about acne to really understand just how much it can impact confidence and self love.  I am SO proud that sharing my imperfections helped so many people and lead me to such a great opportunity like that!

What are you currently working on?

I’ve just started a new Instagram advice series which I’m really excited about as I think it’ll help lots of people. My first was about gaslighting and emotional manipulation in relationships and I’ve also got topics coming up like the best chat up lines to use on dating apps to my top tips for acne prone skin!  My dream is to also publish a book one day, I’ve written my first novel and I’m about to start plotting my second, so fingers crossed that dream becomes a reality one day!

Who are some of your favourite follows online?

Thought I’d take this opportunity to share some of my all time favourite black content creators – these girls are amazing.

@mossonyi

@basicstouch

@femmeblk

@asiyami_gold

@romeosfashionfix

If you weren’t an online content creator what do you think you’d be doing for a living?

It’s always been a dream of mine to be a forensic criminologist/forensic photographer. If I had time I would love to study this! More realistically however, I think I’d make a great blogger/street style photographer and after having photographed some weddings in the past, I’d love to do that full time too!

What do you always carry with you?

Lipstick, my kindle and Bluetooth headphones for podcasts! My favourite podcasts are My Favourite Murder for true crime and the Off Menu podcast because I love food!

What does your perfect weekend look like?

A lazy day with my fiancé which would definitely start with brunch – hash browns, scrambled eggs and loads of sriracha, followed by lots of tea and reading books on the sofa. I’m currently obsessed with Stardew Valley on the Nintendo switch so probably some of that and then a nice meal out with my besties!  Lockdown has definitely made me appreciate the small moments in life.

If you could only eat one meal again what would it be?

Hardest question ever. World food buffet? So I could get my world cuisine takeaway fix all at once – spring rolls, sag paneer, Thai curry all at the same time (lol)!  Isn’t it sad to think buffets might not exist after COVID! Too unhygienic.

If you could give one positive message to our followers what would it be?

If you’re struggling with confidence or low self-image, remember that your ‘imperfections’, quirks and flaws are what make you, you.  Embrace them, stand proud and be unapologetic about them!

She’s been disrupting the art industry ever since her glitter boobs went viral at Coachella back in 2017. Since then, Sophie Tea has gone on to carve a distinctive gallery-less career, selling her artwork exclusively on social media and accruing a legion of devoted fans and collectors from around the world in the process.

Second only to commissioning her to draw us like one of her French girls, painting abstract love prints with her was a peak lockdown / Galentine’s activity. A peak life activity actually, if we’re going to be pernickety about it.

Clad in her epic neon green overalls, Sophie Tea, the woman, the myth, the legend, walked us through her technique and then we were left to express ourselves. Gulp. Easier said than done when you’re in the presence of the OG glitter-boob tycoon and one of the most in-demand artists of our time. No pressure.

An hour later and there we were, covered in paint splashback and exhibiting our hearty creations on Zoom for peer-to-peer validation like we were holding up baby Simba for the whole kingdom to see. It was the most momentous occasion of lockdown 3.0 so far and we’d quite like to share it with you.

You’re now cordially invited to the team Zoella X Sophie Tea exhibition.

Lareese

Evidently, I’m no Van Gogh but that did not stop me from going ham with the paintbrush. I have vivid memories of me, aged 10, sat in my bedroom having just spent my £5 pocket money on a set of watercolours from Sussex Stationers, using an old kitchen sponge to paint a tree. I was in my absolute element and I think my mum hung that painting in the kitchen by the calendar for about two years. That was probably the last time I painted – that sounds like a tragic opening of a memoir but it’s true.

Armed with my Sophie Tea kit, water for the paintbrushes and a glass of flat prosecco for me (for creative fuel, obviously), we started our Wednesday night art class.

Lareese

You’d think it would be somewhat – difficult – to fluff up a heart shape alas, mine looked more like a butternut squash than a beautiful beating ticker on canvas. I’ve got previous when it comes to disfiguring shapes though, so at least I had managed my expectations. If you think my heart’s bad, you should see the state of my stars. It’s like looking at a pissed sorting hat. Nevertheless, she persisted and with a few top tips from Sophie, I added a sh*t load of white paint to resuscitate it. Kinda.

In true Sophie Tea style, there’s a hidden message in my masterpiece. What can I say, there’s a reason it looks like a sea of pizza. Bids welcome.

Huge thank you to Sophie for being nothing but the 11/10 art teacher, boss and all-round babe you’d expect her to be, even if I did singlehandedly ruin the movement, ha! There’s no-one else I’d rather send my nudes to.

Danielle

I absolutely loved sitting down and doing a bit of crafting with the team! I’m quite rubbish and spending time on anything that doesn’t include a screen at the moment so it was such a nice moment to actually do something tangible I could concentrate on.

Sophie is such a great teacher, and makes what she does look incredibly easy but let me tell you it’s no mean feat! I Loved hearing all about how Sophie became the artist she is today, the work she does with nudes is incredible and she shared some lovely stories from women who sent her images of their bodies for her work.

Creating the heart was definitely one of those projects that came together at the end! I felt like it was terrible but kept going and part of what makes Sophie’s work so engaging is the layers and layers of colour that goes into it. I love that she can leave something for the evening, let it dry, then alter it the next day by adding more, I was always under the impression if you messed up with something like that you’d have to start again but instead it all just becomes part of the process.

Painting really invigorated my love for a bit of crafting so I’ve since purchased some clay and made some candlestick holders I’m going to paint with my Sophie Tea colours.

Danielle

Darcey

I’m no painter that’s for sure and also very bad at doing things in a ‘messy’ style or abstract! I absolutely love Sophie Tea’s style of art and have been a fan for a while so I was super excited to get an art lesson from her via zoom! She was so, so lovely and funny too, I loved hearing about how she got to where she is today and her pathway finding love for art.

I spent the majority of the zoom thinking that I’m absolutely doing it wrong and that my technique was less than to be desired, but actually, I’m quite fond of the final outcome and think I might frame it!

I loved getting a bit messy and taking a step back from my screen to do something arty, it’s actually inspired me to buy a few more canvases and get painting more often!

Darcey

I left the Zoom with a newfound love for painting and my desk covered in paint splats, whoops ha!

Maddie

I have been a big fan of Sophie Tea since meeting her at an art show over 2 years ago in London. She was incredibly warm and lovely and her studio was top to toe splattered in multi-coloured paint. At the time she was creating a lot of abstract pieces but now she paints anything from bees and butterflies to hearts and most recently the female form, her pieces are simply gorgeous and definitely a lot of fun.

Charlotte

This was such a wholesome midweek activity and I’m so thrilled I have paint left to continue this arty pastime as lockdown drags on. I haven’t painted with acrylics probably since year 11 art GCSE so it felt really nostalgic and weirdly comforting to be doing so again.

I was just as much of a novice as I remembered but the act of mixing colours, adding different brush strokes and making some attempt to map out a design was really therapeutic. If I was to work on my piece again I think I’d focus on fewer colours and emphasise the brush strokes as I think this is one of the most beautiful things about Sophie’s work- the depth but also simplicity.

The paint splatting was definitely a highlight and somehow I managed to avoid making too much irreversible damage to my carpet haha!

Charlotte

Holly

The Sophie Tea workshop definitely reminded me of my love for painting/all things crafty! I mean I’m not going to be an artist anytime soon but it was still great fun. I even brought some canvases after the call so I could try out some more this weekend.

I found it very therapeutic, I got my wine and just had fun. I’ve never explored the idea that art can be imperfect but I think that’s why it was so therapeutic, I wasn’t worried about it going wrong because there is no wrong.

Purchase your very own heart print from Sophie Tea herself in her latest release here. But be quick as her the limited edition runs sell out quick!