June Book Club: All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M Johnson
Not only is this manifesto a fierce and defiant reclaiming of space for young black queer people, it’s a clarion call to fight for your right to live a full and authentic life.
In their best-selling memoir-manifesto, All Boys Aren’t Blue, LGBTQIA+ activist, acclaimed author and journalist, George M. Johnson, explores the reality of growing up queer and black in America.
Through a series of powerful and unflinching essays, George unpacks a plethora of timely subjects such as gender identity, institutionalised homophobia, consent, toxic masculinity, family and brotherhood.
From the memories of getting their teeth kicked out by bullies at age five to their first sexual relationships and the precious bond with their grandmother ‘Nanny’, each page wrestles with trauma, triumph, Black joy and tragedy in a moving exploration of ever-evolving selfhood through a Black lens.
“Navigating in a space that questions your humanity isn’t really living at all. It’s existing. We all deserve more than just the ability to exist.”
Not only is this manifesto a fierce and defiant reclaiming of space for young black queer people, it’s a clarion call to fight for your right to live a full and authentic life.
Keep scrolling to read the team’s reviews of this emotionally frank and essential read.
Lareese
It’s been a while since I’ve read a memoir and this one by George M. Johnson reminded me why I love them so much. They’re like a palate cleanser between fiction – raw stories that bring you right back to what you both fiercely love and detest about humanity. George’s story is an unvarnished & courageous telling of their childhood and adolescent years growing up under the duality of being black and queer. In a series of personal essays and letters to his family, some heart-warming and hopeful, others devastating and painful, they reflect on the experiences that made them the person they are today. From encounters with bullies, to coming out and finding brotherhood in a college fraternity, they write a reassuring testimony that, even in trauma, there can be joy, love and healing happening. The football scene broke me and every moment with his grandmother made me cry happy tears. I can’t wait to read more about her in their next book. George was simply born to tell stories and I’ve no doubt after reading this powerful account, many others will feel brave and proud enough to tell theirs, too.
Rating: All the stars
Would you recommend it: It’s an essential read
Danielle
I love reading memoirs and short stories, it’s a great way to dip in and out of a book with ease whilst still getting really great plots and insight into someone’s life. George’s stories need to be told, they are such a powerful storyteller and there were moments where I was glued to the pages. The book is packed full of raw stories where George then goes on to explain what they symbolize which I found helpful. You could be the most open-minded LQBTQIA+ Ally, and you would still learn something about how much our society is entrenched with homophobia, gender stereotypes, and toxic masculinity. I was constantly laughing, then crying, then laughing again throughout the book and I’d honestly recommend it to anyone. Of course, there are hard-hitting segments but don’t let that put you off in place of another ‘easy beach read’.
Rating: 4/5
Would you recommend it: Definitely, to everyone!
Charlotte
This book is the definition of POWERFUL if I ever did see it and I feel so moved even a couple of weeks after finishing it. George is a born storyteller and it’s a privilege being able to hear the rawness, honesty and both joy and pain of their experiences and the intersections of being both black and queer. It’s always hard to review a memoir and someone’s personal life experiences but despite that it deserves a 10 out of 5 for how much I know it will help those who are put through similarly challenging circumstances, as well as to those of us who want to be better allies to people of colour and the LGBTQ+ community.
I don’t normally pick up books in the style or format of short essays and letters but it was such a fitting way to communicate the themes and conflicts George felt and felt really digestible despite the heavy subject matter. I think it would be a really wonderful one to listen to as an audiobook and image it would be even more moving in this form! Personal, moving, outspoken and will have you crying both sad and happy tears, I recommend everyone reads All The Boys Aren’t Blue.
Rating: 5/5
Would you recommend it: 1000%
Holly
Well, I am absolutely blown away. Usually, I’m a solid young adult fiction fan, but all boys aren’t blue has genuinely really changed my outlook.
I actually have a couple of chapters left, partly because I don’t want it to end, partly because it can be quite hard to read at points. It’s shocking, and upsetting but so full of love and courage and makes my heart feel warm, I feel like I’ve learnt so much.
One reason I resonate so deeply with All Boys Aren’t Blue is that I am part of the LGBTQ+ group, and although I have experienced discrimination, my experiences are nothing compared to George’s. The first ‘experience’ I found the hardest to read, George was so young when they faced their first discrimination and to this day, can’t pinpoint exactly why they were targeted.
George M. Johnson writes so openly and honestly, I think it’s incredibly brave to share their experiences. All Boys aren’t Blue will help so many people. People from minority groups, ally’s, and people that need to be educated go read this! The whole novel shares an important message about being your true, authentic self, whoever you are and I know that’s something everyone can relate to.
Making The Most of July, Even If Summer Is Flaky AF
Summer might have done us dirty so far - June has a lot to answer for - but our spirit is far from broken.
It’s lukewarm below-average summer, bitches. Our free trial of nice weather has ended but we move. Summer might have done us dirty so far – June has a lot to answer for – but our spirit is far from broken. We still believe it’s coming home and we still believe our bikinis will have their time to shine…
As long as we have a good run of BBQs, corn on the cob, Aperol, crisps and dip, floaty dresses, pedicured toes, Calippos, sunsets, feel-good playlists, Love Island memes, carefree beach days followed by a superior shower (that post-swim hair wash always hits different), paddling pools, long balmy evenings, fish and chips and the faint holiday waft of sun lotion in the air, then we will enjoy this glorious time of year, whatever the roadmap to nowhere is saying. Here are 20 ways to make the most of July!
1. Enjoy the thrill of live sports in the company of unhygienic screaming strangers again. It’s coming home (even if it probably most definitely isn’t)
2. Remember that one time in 2002 the teachers let you come in early to watch the England vs Brazil game instead of going to lessons. Pure nostalgia.
3. Find yourself hankering for a pumpkin spice latte and a Christmas dinner because we’re officially closer to Christmas than January and British summertime really be like that.
4. Wear so much gingham, people start sitting on you to eat their sandwiches and tuck into their punnet of strawberries.
5. Somehow survive a 12-hour bottomless brunch. What year is it?
6. Cancel all plans that require leaving the house after 9pm on a week-day for the next six weeks…
7. Let the Casa Amor chaos commence.
8. Bond over how collectively ridiculous everyone looks when trying to walk barefoot on a pebbly beach whilst simultaneously trying to pretend it doesn’t hurt. Much grace. Much composure.
9. Ask yourself if the risk of being sociable is really worth it because POLLEN.
10. Wonder if you’ll ever get through all the tote bags you continue to throw in that one mother tote bag
11. Transfer money from your savings account to your current account. Repeat every three to five working days.
12. Tiger bread and Lurpak. That’s it. That’s how you make the most of July.
13. Think about quitting your job if your manager hints about coming back to the office one more time.
14. Not to be dramatic but unless we get a work uniform allowance for office clothes, no thanks.
15. Attempt to shake up your week-day dinners because you’ve been eating fajitas twice a week for a decade now
16. Before crawling back to the iconic permanent fixture that is: jacky p, cheese and beans. It’s like herpes for carbs, it always comes back.
17. Rest without guilt. You’re welcome.
18. Wonder if you’ve ever been sufficiently hydrated. Ever.
19. In the words of Matt Haig, “get a routine baggy enough to live in”
20. Feel shocked and disgusted at how expensive the outside world costs. My Monzo pots are in the worst shape of their lives but C’EST LA VIE.
With inclusive sizing and a range of unisex designs that you can look cute AF matching with your S/O in, there's certainly no harm in having a cheeky scroll in the Love Island ad break, right?
If you’re anything like us then the ASOS app is visited similarly to our holy grail social media- regularly, obsessively and with bated breath at what newness awaits us. It’s no surprise therefore that coming of age brand COLLUSION which is exclusive to the site is one we simply can’t get enough of. With inclusive sizing and a range of unisex designs that you can look cute AF matching with your S/O in, there’s certainly no harm in having a cheeky scroll in the Love Island ad break, right?
Key mentions go to the green knitted swirl co-ord that is giving 10/10 House of Sunny vibes, the satin zebra print scarf top that would look banging with a golden tan, and the unisex branded shorts for slobbing out in front of the TV in. It’s affordable, unique, and with six collaborators- students, stylists, activists, image-makers and authors- designing for the label in the past year, you know you’re on the right track for a stylish outfit you can rely on.
Which items are going straight into your basket? No judgement on the quantity of pieces here…
What is Ethical Porn and How to Change Your Watching Habits
Alone time with your favourite toy or a joint sexy sesh can in fact be spiced up to the max with some consensual content that benefits you and those involved. Let us introduce: ethical porn.
One third of all internet traffic is porn. We’ll pause for a moment whilst that sinks in. Porn is everywhere online- it’s unavoidable and the ease with which anyone can access explicit content makes for a worrying reality in how normalised these unrealistic representations of sex are for many.
For the most part, pornography is designed to appeal to men, meaning the pleasure, consent and respect of the women featured in this content is secondary to the enjoyment of the men creating, partaking and viewing it. Pornography can be dehumanising to those involved when the name of the game is mass-producing content for free on sites such as PornHub, and regularly means those involved are not fairly paid or compensated for their work. Mainstream porn typically shows an inaccurate version of consensual, joyful sex, so it’s really no surprise if you’ve been dissatisfied with mainstream porn up until this point- it is rarely designed with women in mind.
But all is not lost ladies and gents, alone time with your favourite toy or a joint sexy sesh with your S/O can in fact be spiced up to the max with some consensual content that benefits you and those involved. Let us introduce: ethical porn.
What is ethical porn?
Ethical porn is adult content produced with the performer’s welfare as the top priority, ensuring they are paid, consenting and comfortable at each step of the filming and production process. Ethical porn seeks to provide a more realistic and accurate representation of sex, involving those of varying body types, sexualities, disabilities and most importantly prioritises pleasure for all of those involved.
Ethical porn is sometimes also known as ‘feminist porn’, which is another defining characteristic setting it apart from mainstream pornography which is oftentimes rooted in misogyny, violence and disrespecting women and their bodies. Mainstream porn is created with the male gaze at the fore and usually has one main aim, whereas feminist porn looks to create art that also satisfies women’s desires too – what’s not to like?!
Ethical porn can normally be distinguished from mainstream porn because it is typically not available for free – one of the ways it ensures that filmmakers and actors are paid fairly for their time and skills. It is typically hosted on independent websites that can be accessed by paying a subscription or one-off video fee and ensures a safe environment for performers in this industry. Creating high quality, responsibly made, cinematic pornography comes at a cost, and the never ending availability of free porn has wrongly made not paying for this content the norm.
As engaging with ethically made porn becomes more of a priority for viewers, “smaller indie studios have implemented stricter regulations around standardized, fair pay for actors, STI testing, and collaborations over scripts and scenes that take the actors’ boundaries into account” (Men’s Health), meaning you can sit back, relax and enjoy guilt free viewing, knowing everyone involved is having as much fun as you.
Where to watch ethical porn?
Piqued your interest? Heart rate increased? Look no further for a reliable watch list of destinations you can rely on for your feminist porn fix …
PinkLabelTV
Inspired by the pornography she watched at adult film festivals, Shine Louise Houston started PinkLabelTV in 2013 as a one-stop-shop for content that showcases, “the types of bodies and desires that aren’t often depicted on conventional adult websites.” Genres include classic and vintage adult films, sex education, documentary, and collections of award-winning films selected at adult film festivals around the globe. Sales directly support the filmmakers on the platform, encouraging a sustainable #payforyourporn model where artists can continue expanding their craft and you know those involved are safe and consensual. Users can rent films on an individual basis or subscribe as a member to enjoy unlimited access to all the films and special livestream events.
“We unwaveringly believe that if we can change the kind of sex that people are watching, we can change a whole lot more.” Bellesa’s tagline reads “empowering women to explore, embrace and celebrate their sexuality- unapologetically” and we are truly obsessed from the outset! All Bellesa films are fantasies by women, written by women, directed by women, produced by women and on set there is one golden rule: No. Fake. Orgasms. The goal of the scene is always to capture authentic, raw pleasure, and this is what really sets the platform apart from mainstream pornography typically designed for men. The site features some free content but Bellesa+, dubbed the ‘Netflix of porn’ is the most impressive part of the platform, with 4K streaming of the best premium content in porn available at a range of subscription levels to suit your budget. With interactive sex ed, private Facebook groups and chats to encourage members to explore their sexuality, the site is empowering at its very core.
The home of sexy audio stories, wellness sessions, and sleep scenes, Dipsea is a female-founded startup and story studio that produces relatable, feminist content that celebrates, “healthy boundary setting and enthusiastic consent”. Founded by friends Gina and Faye, they set out on a mission to create an accessible platform that allowed women, “to tap into their sexuality more easily, and on their terms.” Subscribers can access 400+ stories with regular new releases, hot and heavy content with diverse themes, soothing bedtime stories & wellness sessions and the option to cancel at any time. We’re obsessed!
Afterglow’s “pleasure universe” is a new women-led erotica site that produces cinematic adult films that highlight consent, celebrate genuine pleasure, validate personal boundaries and embrace diversity of body size, race, sexuality, age and ability. Their blog is also a hub of sex education content, covering everything from orgasm anxiety, succeeding in non-monogamous relationships and everything you need to know about threesomes. Subscribe and pay monthly or annually, or try a 7-day free trial to see what it’s all about…
And finally, the creme de la creme of ethical porn and beautifully created adult erotica, “Lust Cinema aims to challenge the porn industry standards by promoting the cinematic possibilities of the medium, high-quality storytelling and a realistic representation of human sexuality and sex.” Available for 1, 3 or 18 month subscription plans, you need look no further for binge-worthy adult series and feature films that prioritise pleasure. Created by award-winning adult film-maker Erika Lust who broke onto the adult cinema scene in 2004, Lust has since founded four online cinemas: XConfessions, Lust Cinema, Else Cinema and The Store by Erika Lust that celebrate the highest quality adult content. Her TEDX talk ‘It’s Time for Porn to Change’ in 2017 has been viewed over 1 million times, and in 2019 she was named as one of the BBC’s 100 Most Influential Women of the Year.
We caught up with Erika to learn more about creating ethical porn and working in this trailblazing new subsection of a typically male dominated industry…
When was Erika Lust Films founded and what was the driving force for doing so?
Right after moving to Barcelona from Sweden back in 2000, I started working in a well-known advertisement company making quick steps forward – from runner to producer – and soon I realised that I loved the atmosphere of a film set. At some point, I felt the need to do my own thing, and what I wanted to do was shoot an explicit film!
It was downloaded so many times that I realised there were other people out there who were also craving an alternative adult filmErika Lust
I wanted to create something totally different within the genre, a porn film according to my own taste, expressing my values and showing the importance of female pleasure. So I made this short film called ‘The Good Girl’, which was a humorous take on the classic pizza delivery boy porn trope and posted it online for free. I wasn’t really expecting anything but it was downloaded so many times that I realised there were other people out there who were also craving an alternative adult film. I was receiving mail from people all over the world telling me that they loved the film and asking when the next one would be out, and so Erika Lust was born!
What is the most challenging part about creating ethical porn? What is the best/most rewarding part about creating ethical porn?
When you present yourself as an adult production company that puts ethics in the film production process and everything they do, you’re taking a huge responsibility towards the public. This may lead to people holding your work to a standard of “perfection” that doesn’t tolerate even the smallest mistake you may make. On the other hand, the most rewarding part is seeing a growing community of people out there who appreciates our work and supports me and my team to keep on doing it as best as we can. We recently ran a survey through our users and I’m so happy to see that more than 50% of them chose to buy a subscription to XConfessions, Lust Cinema, or Else Cinema, or buy single movies or film compilations at The Store by Erika Lust exactly because of the ethics under which our films are made.
How do viewers know if the porn they are watching is ethical?
You should be checking who are the people behind the porn you watch.Erika Lust
When you go to a porn website, do you know who’s behind that website? Is there an ‘about page’ where you can check who makes the films, how, and what are their values? Are there credits for the team behind the camera? This should be the starting point when it comes to knowing if the porn you watch is made ethically. Just as much as you check the label of the products you consume or the credits of a Netflix series, you should be checking who are the people behind the porn you watch.
Last but not least, is the porn you watch available behind a paywall? It costs money to make a film and to ensure good working conditions for everyone who is involved in making it happen. It costs money to fairly pay performers, crew, post-production and the director; legal contracts that protect all of their rights as workers, lunch for the day, comfortable accommodations if required.
What do you think is the most pressing issue in the world of pornography production that viewers should be more aware of? e.g. payment, age of actors. consent, representation etc
I think that consumers should be more aware of the importance of paying for porn. By paying for your porn, you’re helping adult production companies to make films where sex work is done in a safe environment; meaning that performers and their needs and boundaries are taken care of, that the sex they have is consensual. When you pay for your porn, you’re paying a scriptwriter that creates an original, realistic plot where communication and diversity are put at the forefront. You’re paying a production team that ensures that performers are 18+, are enthusiastic about being part of an adult movie, and do not feel obliged to do anything they don’t want to do. You’re paying a Talent Manager or an Intimacy Coordinator that supports them throughout the shoot. Most of all, you’re paying the performers and the whole crew that works to create a film with good cinematography and art direction, lighting, styling, makeup, new locations, and the whole post-production process. All of this is essential to create good quality adult content, both aesthetically and in terms of content.
In recent years we have all become more conscious of what we consume, and ethical and sustainable businesses have really boomed. I hope that this trend also translates to peoples’ attitudes towards pornography and that people begin to think more about the consequences of not paying for pornography and relying on tube sites. At the moment films are often made on a very low budget by companies who need to churn out as many films as possible in order to compete and be profitable; this leads to a very poor representation of sex and sexuality on screen. It is only once people start paying for pornography this will begin to change as more money, more evenly distributed within the industry will provide space for innovative new directors and allow production companies to focus on quality rather than simply having an economy of scale.
Do you think that the endless amounts of free pornography online make for an inherently problematic industry?
Whether you’re a performer or a production company, if the content you create is uploaded onto tube sites, it doesn’t matter how many times it is watched, you will not get a penny from those views. Erika Lust
The pirating business model which has taken over in recent years with the rise of Tube sites such as PornHub, YouPorn and RedTube (all of which are part of the big controversial company Mindgeek) has completely decimated the industry and put many production studios and performers out of business. Whether you’re a performer or a production company, if the content you create is uploaded onto tube sites, it doesn’t matter how many times it is watched, you will not get a penny from those views. This, coupled with the fact that many content creators, especially smaller independent producers, simply don’t have the time or resources to trawl through these sites to look for their pirated content, has meant that the business is far less profitable than it used to be.
Do you think we will ever live in a world in which ethical and consensual pornography is the norm when free content can be consumed so mindlessly?
As said above, the future of pornography depends on whether or not there is a shift away from simply using these tube sites and start backing more varied companies by paying for their content. Users need to be made aware of the ethical implications of watching pirated material. Watching free porn is like going to the supermarket and going out without paying for the groceries.
When you pay for your porn, you are giving it value. You are supporting the people who do it and you are sending the message that you want to watch porn that is made safely, with quality and diversity. As in many other fields, consumers are ultimately a part of the industry; the future of porn depends on the people who watch it.
People are not educated to pay for porn also because our society still sees sex workers as less than human. Sex workers are people like anyone else who do a job that should have the same legal rights as any other job. We need to change for the better our perception of sex workers and their lives. We need to normalise sex work as real work and put an end to stigma, criminalisation, and dehumanisation.
Do you think we’re seeing a cultural shift in attitudes towards porn becoming less taboo as sites such as Only Fans become more popular and mainstream?
Despite the sex-negative culture we still live in, I see that porn is gradually becoming less of a taboo in society. And yes, I think that sites like OnlyFans, Manyvids, etc. are helping to normalise the consumption of paid ethical porn. They do it by putting the power and the money directly in the hands of adult creators and performers, who can create their own content in the safety of their homes and with people they want to work with.
Pornography is historically rooted in exploitation and misogyny- can ethical porn seek to change that or do the origins of porn make it difficult to escape those issues even now?
Ethically made porn exists exactly to change that. Porn as a medium can be used in a positive or negative way as everything else. It is absolutely possible to create porn that is not rooted in exploitation and misogyny by simply changing the narratives and making a positive shift in the production process.
We can clearly show consent instead of encouraging simulations of coercion, paedophilia, or abuse. Erika Lust
We can stop showing harmful gender stereotypes and start depicting men and women as equally important sexual collaborators. We can clearly show consent instead of encouraging simulations of coercion, paedophilia, or abuse. We can create porn where people can see themselves in those films, to see the sex they have, to be inspired, become educated, and receptive to the huge range of different sexualities out there. Porn can open your mind about sexuality and help you to discover new desires and fantasies. For many viewers, alternative adult cinema helps them celebrate their sexuality and encourages them to be empowered by sex in a variety of ways.
What is one misconception about creating porn you would like to debunk?
Many people conflate sex work with sex trafficking and perpetuate the stereotype that sex workers are victims or are driven to a demeaning lifestyle by a damaged history. Sex trafficking is easily confused with all types of sex work. There is the assumption that porn and sex work are always particularly exploitative for women, which just isn’t true. So many female performers are empowered and elevated by what they do!
Alice Dunbar is an ex diet blogger on a body confidence journey, helping her followers to accept themselves and be more confident with their in their bodies.
First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?
Hello! I’m feeling pretty good today – the sun is shining after a dreary few days and I think I’m going for a sea swim at lunchtime, which always makes me very happy. 2021 is a right rollercoaster, isn’t it? I’m struggling a *bit* to keep up with all the social events post-lockdown, but I’m thankful to be feeling somewhat normal again!
Can you tell us about your journey online and how @ASpoonfulOfAlice came to be?
Of course! I started blogging back in 2015 – but, believe it or not, I actually blogged about weight loss and my ‘Slimming World journey’. Unfortunately I ended up becoming obsessed with dieting and developed some pretty disordered eating patterns – and no matter how much weight I lost, I didn’t feel any better about myself.
In 2017, I discovered the world of body confidence and the anti-diet movement – and my whole life completely changed. I realised that slim doesn’t necessarily equal healthy and that that beauty exists in all shapes and sizes, and my body acceptance journey began. These days, I use my platform to empower others to ditch diet culture, learn to trust their bodies again and feel wonderful just as they are.
What can people expect from your presence online?
I’m all about spreading my message in a fun and accessible way – so expect to see me dancing around in my underwear to early 00s bangers, writing thoughtful captions about my journey and sharing photos of my imperfectly perfect body for the world to see!
Alongside diet culture, body confidence and self love, I also speak openly about mental health, menstrual wellness (specifically my experiences living with PCOS and PMDD), sex education and a whole host of other topics. I share snapshots of Brighton life with my girlfriend and cats, and I’m always up for a chat on my stories!
We absolutely love your message, what is one thing you wish everyone knew about diet culture?
Thank you so much! Blimey, where do I even start? Most of all, I wish society understood that the link between weight and health is wayyyyyy less clear than we have been led to think. It is possible to be both fat and healthy – just as it is possible to be slim and unhealthy. In this country, we still use the BMI scale as a key measure of health – when the person who created it (who was a mathematician, not a doctor!) said himself that it isn’t fit for that purpose. The scale was created in the 1800s and was based on the bodies of cisgendered white men – so if that’s not you, it’s even less helpful!
What opinions would you love to see change in the mainstream media over the next few years?
Again, I could literally spend hours talking about all the things I’d love to change – but I think I’d have to say the notion that there is one ‘beauty ideal’, and everyone else is somehow wrong. Sure, there might be a few plus-sized people in the odd magazine these days, but when you consider that the average UK woman is a size 16, it’s crackers that this is still very much a rarity. I want to see clothes modelled on bodies of all shapes and sizes and fat people being represented without an accompanying weight loss story. Believe it or not, plenty of people are happy being plus-sized, but that narrative is hardly ever portrayed – I’d love to see a change there!
Can you tell us 3 tips to feel more body confident?
Aim for body acceptance first – body confidence can feel very out-of-reach if you’re struggling with low self worth, so I always recommend striving to accept your body first. Learn to treat it with respect and remind yourself that what you look like is the least important thing about you.
Fake it ‘til you make it – always wanted to wear a crop top, but just don’t have the confidence? WEAR THE CROP TOP ANYWAY. Yes, it will be scary at first. Yes, you might second guess yourself a million times before stepping out the door. But before long, you’ll realise that nobody is giving you a second thought – apart from thinking how confident you look, and wishing they could wear a crop top too!
Diversify your feed – if you’re only seeing ‘perfect’ Instagram models with one (unattainable) body type, it’s bound to have an effect on the way you see yourself. Instead, fill your feed with bodies of all shapes and sizes – bodies of queer people, plus-sized people, disabled people, black people, asian people… as many people as possible, basically! The more diverse your feed, the more diverse your idea of beauty will become – and one day, you might just see that *you* are beautiful too.
As a fellow Brighton dweller, can you share your top places to go in the city?
I actually get asked this question so many times that I keep a note in my phone where I list my favourite places. It’s organised into categories and everything! Here are a few of my faves:
Pompoko – cheap, cheerful and delicious Japanese food
Baby Bao @ The Pond – THE most amazing Taiwanese bao buns
Bison Beach Bar – cocktails, fresh pizza and bbq dishes on the beach
The Open Market – stalls selling local produce and crafts, friendly cafes and relaxed restaurants
Tropical Sushi – the best sushi I’ve had in a VERY long time (and I’ve had a lot!)
Brighton Rocks – a tucked-away cocktail bar with lots of board games and a great happy hour
Trading Post Coffee Roasters – my spot-of-the-moment for brunch!
La Mucca Nera – authentic italian ice cream, wine and coffee
Marmalade Store – pick up a posh picnic before heading to the beach
Brighton Flea Market – my favourite place for a Sunday morning mooch
What are you currently working on?
In terms of my Instagram, I’m working on a new reels series called ‘Facing my fat girl fears’ where I film myself doing things I’ve always been scared to do due to my size.
Otherwise, I’m working on myself! I went to therapy this year which was very eye-opening – it turns out I’m codependent and a biiiig people pleaser, so I’m learning to set healthy boundaries instead!
Who are some of your current favourite follows?
I follow so many wonderful humans who have taught me so many things, but at the moment I’m loving:
@ScarredNotScared– because she is the queen of boundaries and I want to be more like her
@make_love_not_diets – because she is HILARIOUS and always finds fun ways to help me dismantle diet culture
@meganjaynecrabbe – because she is the reason I started this journey in the first place
@simplepolitics – because the media has been so confusing this year, and they provide a lot of clarity
@hunsnet – because everything they post just cracks me up
What does your perfect weekend look like?
I’d head out for brunch with my friends on Saturday morning, followed by a wander round the Lanes or a trip to the beach for a sea swim (the weather would be glorious, obviously!). In the evening, I’d cook a new recipe and it would work out PERFECTLY – then we’d watch Titanic, cry cathartically and go to bed by 9.30. I’d wake up on Sunday perfectly refreshed, and I’d spend the morning drinking coffee and reading in bed with my girlfriend (and the cats, if we’re being honest…). We’d make brunch together, then I’d spend the day filming AMAZING content for Instagram and doing little ‘self-care Sunday’ things like painting my nails and tidying up the mess I seem to inexplicably create throughout the week. We’d order takeaway in the evening and get so lost in conversation that we forget to watch telly! Bliss.
What do you always carry with you?
Tinted lip balm, headphones and an array of emergency snacks.
What would your last ever meal be?
I’d have to travel up to Newcastle (where I’m originally from) and head to Nudo Noodle House. They do this amaaaazing king prawn tom yum ramen, so I’d have that along with ALLLLL the sides (think gyoza, fresh sushi, salt and pepper squid etc). For dessert, I’d go to Olive Grove in Brighton – I once had the most incredible whipped greek yoghurt mousse with chopped nuts and honey there, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since!
What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?
That being selfish is actually a selfless act. Hear me out – if you’re constantly giving all your time and energy to other people, then you won’t have enough left for yourself. At some point, someone else is going to have to ‘save’ you, and that will be a drain on THEIR energy. If we were all just a little bit more selfish and put ourselves first before helping others, it would genuinely benefit everyone!
I learnt that from Michelle Elman (@ScarredNotScared) and it absolutely blew me away.
If you're planning to channel Woodstock vibes this summer then crochet should absolutely be on your shopping list...
Shaggy hairdos, roller skating in flared jeans, Fleetwood Mac and knitted hot pants- yep, you’ve landed in the ’70s, and the obsession with all things retro is here to stay this summer…
TikTok and Instagram are abuzz with all things 1970s and honestly, we’re not mad about it. Crochet is one such trend, and if you’re planning to channel Woodstock vibes then it should absolutely be on your shopping list this season. One of the best parts about rocking crochet is the versatility of the trend and how many items it spans, whether it be full-on holey dreaminess in the shape of a co-ord, maxi dress or skirt, to smaller nods to the trend as bucket hats or beach bags, there are big and small ways you can get in on the hype whilst still making it wearable for you.
House of Sunny’s iconic Hockney Dress sparked a love for all things knitted everything during 2020 and crochet is the next fun and fabulous extension of that, guaranteeing you a cute AF Insta pic and some “she looks great!” glances in the street.
Zoe
This is definitely my favourite fashion trend this summer! I need stopping at this point as I just want to fill my entire wardrobe with crochet knit items. Especially good for pregnancy as it’s pretty stretchy and very airy on those hot days! haha! Zara has some particularly lovely pieces.
I’m not sure I love the very extra Coachella vibe crochet (probably just because I’m salty I’m not at a festival this year) but I’m all over a subtle nod to the trend! This dress from Zara is so chic and sexy and would look so gorgeous on holiday with a tan *cries. I’ve paired it with some Shrek worthy accessories to add a little somethin’ somethin’ and I honestly love it!
I’ve always loved a bit of crochet in the summer for those boho beach vibes but it’s definitely having a bit more of a moment this year! I always think if you’re just wanting to dip a toe into a trend it’s best to start with accessories, so I’ve picked this pastel blue floral bucket hat and tote. You could probably pop these on with most summer outfits but I’ve gone for fresh white dress and pastel strap sandals.
I am living for the crochet comeback – what a cheery summer staple. Zara & Mango have some gorgeous pieces in at the moment and since my summer wardrobe is still in the loft, it would be rude not to add this lot straight to my basket. I’m just being practical if anything. The cornflower blue set would be great for throwing on as a cover-up after a dip in the sea!
Not sure how I feel about the crochet trend, I like some of it but the majority of it looks like something my nan would wear. Not that there is anything wrong with what my nan wears but not my style… I think the key is to get exciting colours/patterns. So I’ve picked a few items here which I would wear. Likely to some kind of festival or day event.
I am loving crochet this Summer I just think it looks so cool and it’s also very versatile, perfect for beach days but also would look banging at a bottomless brunch, we love to see it! Crochet always trickles back every Summer too, although it’s really blown up this year, but it’s absolutely something that can be worn for many Summers ahead too.
Sashay Into the Season of Love with These Failsafe Wedding Guest Looks
Besides wearing white and anything likely to upstage the bride (big no-no), dressing for a wedding is one of the best excuses out there to bag yourself a new outfit and go all out in contrasting your well loved loungewear- RIP joggers, you won't be missed.
Love isn’t cancelled! After a year of uncertainty and heartbreakingly postponed big days, weddings are slowly but surely filling our calendars again and we couldn’t be happier to celebrate with our nearest and dearest this year. Besides wearing white and anything likely to upstage the bride (big no-no), dressing for a wedding is one of the best excuses out there to bag yourself a new outfit and go all out in contrasting your well loved loungewear- RIP joggers, you won’t be missed.
Whilst it may feel that there are endless choices in the wedding attire department, dress codes and sticking to the well worn tracks of pastels, florals, silk and tailoring mean you can’t stray far wrong in dressing appropriately for the big day in question. If you have multiple celebrations to attend this summer, consider renting a ‘fit that you otherwise might not be able to justify purchasing outright (FYI you can check out our previous post for the details) or opt for a two piece suit that you can mix and match in the future. Attending a wedding might leave you feeling pressured to buy something shiny and new for the occasion, but if the Klarna emails are piling up then consider opting for a cotton dress that can be worn more easily day to day layered with a t-shirt, or a classic slip dress design that will be in style for decades to come.
If you love positive affirmations and inspiring sayings to help your mental health on Instagram, then you probably follow Stacie Swift! Find out how she got started...
First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?
I am good, thank you! I think busy is the best word to describe my state of mind and year so far!
I have three young children so there has been lots of juggling through the changing restrictions this year. Work-wise I’m lucky to have been working on some really fab projects and loads of really fun promotion and products for my soon-to-be-published second book, The Positively Awesome Journal.
Can you tell us about the work you do as an illustrator?
I create bright, positive, colourful designs often with a self-care or mental well-being theme. My illustrations serve as a reminder that we are never alone in our struggles – drawing is a really cathartic process for me and illustrating my thoughts and feelings allows me space to work through my ups and downs.
What steps did you take in your education and career to get you where you are today?
Initially I wanted to be a lingerie designer so after my A Levels I went on to study for an Art Foundation at London College of Fashion… and then I didn’t get a place on the degree course I’d hoped to join and so I took some time out. While I was working in non-creative jobs (but always finding time for drawing!) I fell in love with the idea of illustration. I enrolled on an Illustration short course at Central St Martins and used the projects to build up my portfolio and then successfully applied to study BA Illustration at Middlesex Uni. It wasn’t the most straightforward route but the journey was invaluable!
What inspired you to start your Instagram account and was it always illustrations?
When I first started using Instagram I was running a much more product-based business, selling greeting cards and prints online and wholesaling to retailers. I used my account to promote my products but also shared a lot of photos of my cats! I already knew a lot of other creative small business owners so it was a brilliant way to stay connected and inspired with the creative community – I’m glad that aspect of IG hasn’t changed for me.
A lot of your infamous IG quotes revolve around mental health, why do you think social media is such a great outlet for this content?
I think the accessibility of social media makes it a great resource for conversations around mental health and wellness. I also think feel-good and thought provoking content can be a great antidote to some of the less inspiring and comparison-inducing posts we see in our feeds.
There’s also something really reassuring about people you are familiar with online discussing topics that can be hard to navigate in real life – so it’s a great way to normalise and de-stigmatise mental health. It makes me so happy that the posts I share are able to offer people validation and comfort.
What has been your biggest ‘pinch me’ moment during your career?
I think the first time I held my books – and then seeing them in actual bookshops – was so surreal. Such dream come true moments!
Can you tell us about your book “You are Positively Awesome” and the journal that sits alongside it?
Of course!
My first book You Are Positively Awesome published in July 2020, at the height of the pandemic – that was a steep learning curve! The book is very much an extension of my Instagram posts; I wanted it to be as bright and colourful as my feed but with prompts and reminders that make it a really useful self-care resource that you can keep going back to through all of life’s ups and downs. It has chapters covering everything from self-love to saying ‘no’, imposter syndrome and the importance of kindness.
My next book, The Positively Awesome Journal, is publishing in a few weeks (July 8th 2021). It is just as bold and rainbow-filled but is super interactive and full of activities, inspiration and self-care prompts. It’s a book that will help you work through your own experiences and support your well-being – it has lots of space for writing, drawing and reflection so you can really make it your own.
What are you currently working on?
I’ve been working on some fun freelance projects, including a collaboration with Great Ormond Street Hospital Arts that I’m super excited about. And then the plan is to finalise some ideas for my next book(s)!
Who are some of your current favourite follows?
@simplepolitics have been my go-to for making sense of the news this year
@nina_tame is fun, stylish and shares so many informative posts
@munyachawawa – his reels are genius (and hilarious)
@mollyjforbes her body-positive anti-diet culture messages are always spot on
What does your perfect weekend look like?
In a dream world, it’d involve lie-ins, brunch and a market or exhibition.
In reality, I have three children (my eldest is only 6) so a weekend that includes pancakes, a trip to the park, an afternoon film and plenty of hot coffee would be fab!
What do you always carry with you?
My phone and a Diet Pepsi – I’m probably a little bit more addicted to both than I’d care to admit.
What would your last ever meal be?
I am so indecisive when it comes to choosing what to eat! It’d probably have to be Macaroni Cheese or my mum’s roast dinner, followed by lots of mini desserts – I’ve got a really sweet tooth.
What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?
Make time to prioritise your mental health. Nothing is more important that your well-being.
What To Read This Summer – The Ultimate Books To Throw In Your Beach Bag
From new publications to perennial feel-good fiction, these beach-side companions will punctuate your ocean dips and sunbathing sessions rather nicely.
Picture this. Your out of office is on (aggressively on. You may as well have written please hesitate to reach out to me), you’ve got a few days off and the forecast is a full house of fat yellow suns, so you decide to take yourself off down the beach to read your book. Instant mental health boner, right?
The gentle lapping of the waves, the sand in between your toes, the vitamin D, the uninterrupted sunshine and plot twists, the obligatory Calippo vs Magnum vs overpriced Mr Whippy conundrum. Gah, there is no escapism so pure, so ingeniously simple as unfurling a new buzzy book whilst lounging by the seaside like a sun-kissed siren on the rocks.
There is no escapism so pure, so ingeniously simple as unfurling a new buzzy book whilst lounging by the seaside
As for the reading material, anything goes when it comes to easy breezy beach reads but there are certain balmy novels we gravitate towards at this time of year. Light-hearted (for the most part), unputdownable, fast-paced thrillers, true-to-life memoirs and juicy contemporary romances – those are the kind of stories we are all too glad to share with our SPF 50.
From new publications to perennial feel-good fiction, these beach-side companions will punctuate your ocean dips and sunbathing sessions rather nicely.
The Summer Job – Lizzy Dent
Want to escape real life for a while? Run away with Birdy Finch, a messy heroine who blagged her best friend’s identity to land her dream job. A hot new voice in contemporary fiction, Lizzy Dent’s heartwarming debut will have you honking with laughter. Fans of Fleabag, Bridget Jones and Bridesmaids will gobble up this highland (mis)adventure in no time at all. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Ruthless Women – Melanie Blake
Glitz, glamour, drama, humour and suspense, Melanie Blake’s Ruthless Women has it all in spades. Hailed the hottest book of 2021, it’s sure to be the addictive page-turner you need in your life after a long and horny lockdown. If you like your beach reads on the raunchy side, dive headfirst into this bonkbuster. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
You Have A Match – Emma Lord
A modern take on the Parent Trap trope, You Have A Match follows the story of Abby Day, who discovers she has a secret Instagram influencer sister. The pair hatch a plan to meet up at a summer camp to get to know each other and unravel this big juicy family secret. If you’re hankering for some feel-good fiction, this coming-of-age story will make for the perfect deckchair sidekick. Purchase here.
The Road Trip – Beth O’Leary
From the queen of beach bag reads herself, Beth O’Leary’s latest novel is the bookish summer staple you can’t miss. With echoes of Normal People, you’ll have no problem inhaling it in one sunny sitting. Just make sure you’ve secured a spot close to the sea to cool off after the sexy south of France scenes dabs forehead. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Open Water – Caleb Azumah Nelson
A tender and ambitious debut novel about the relationship between two young black artists. At once an intimate love song to black artistry and a powerful exploration of race, masculinity, loss and trauma, Open Water is dripping with an elegant rhythm all of its own. If you loved Normal People, you’ll adore this delicately crafted masterpiece about love and all its nuances. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Seven Days in June – Tia Williams
If you like your romances on the raw and gritty side, send your heartfelt thanks to Tia Williams. In Seven Days in June, we’re introduced to two writers who reunite at a literary event 15 years after they shared a whirlwind romance, only they’re pretending they don’t know each other. Cue the undeniable sexual tension. Not only is SDIJ sexy as hell, Williams’ writing manages to shift effortlessly between light-hearted interactions and sensitive subject matter with effortless tact. A sappy and predictable romance this is not. Its deliciously witty dialogue, fully realised characters and deft handling of love, race and second-chances will stay with you long after summer. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Miss Benson’s Beetle – Rachel Joyce
Margery Benson, a socially awkward forty-something teacher, and Enid Pretty, a yellow-haired bombshell in a hot pink suit, form an unlikely duo in this intoxicating tale of female friendship, rebellion and self-discovery. The two women leave 1950s Britain on an expedition to New Caledonia to find the elusive golden beetle Margery’s father taught her about in her childhood. Enid Pretty is everything Margery hates and the last person she’d want assisting her on this once-in-a-lifetime adventure but as the two share the setbacks and successes of this hilarious jaunt, it turns out they make quite the team. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
The House on Fripp Island – Rebecca Kauffman
Slap on a fresh layer of SPF and have your cocktail of choice within reach because once you start reading this, you’re not moving until you finish it. For 336 glorious pages, Kauffman treats us to a family saga of epic proportions. This is the ultimate tell-a-friend book you’ll be waxing lyrical about all summer long. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Malibu Rising – Taylor Jenkins Reid
From the best-selling author of Daisy Jones & The Six and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo comes Malibu Rising – a juicy riptide of a book about four famous siblings and their epic annual end of summer house party. What could possibly go wrong? By midnight the party will descend into drug-fuelled chaos, by morning, the family mansion will be engulfed in flames. A fast-paced, unputdownable family drama, destined to be read with a beachy backdrop. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Beach Read – Emily Henry
One look at the cover and you’d have every reason to believe this is a fun and flirty summer read with absolutely zero chance of making you weep into your Mr Whippy. Is there another name for that? Yes: wildly led astray in the best possible way and texting your friends at 1am with a message that simply reads: “I will never read again. F*cking sobbing”, just about covers it. It’s not A Little Life howling bad but it’s raw and it’s honest and the lump in your throat will have to come out somehow.
Two authors, who also happen to be frenemies and beach house neighbours, are struggling with writer’s block. January is a happy-ever-after romance author, Gus is a serious literary fiction author. So, they decide to take on the challenge of writing their respective genres to see who gets published first which requires hanging out (a lot) and learning to be vulnerable with one another. With whip-smart dialogue, unforgettable main characters and all the tongue-in-cheek hilarity, it has everything the title promises and more. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Girl A – Abigail Dean
TW: child abuse, childhood trauma
A gripping psychological thriller and a searing portrait of survival, Girl A is a haunting pitch black novel, punctuated with moments of life-affirming humanity. It tells the story of an eight-year-old girl named Lex, one of eight Gracie siblings, who escaped from her parents’ House of Horrors after years of abuse. When her mother dies in prison, naming Lex as the executor of the will, she must contact her surviving siblings and work out what to do with the house they in which they all suffered. Lex’s resilience in the face of such harrowing devastation will stay with you for a lifetime. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Animal – Lisa Taddeo
The debut novel from the author of the bestselling phenomenon Three Women is written with the same signature intensity and truth. The stories that Taddeo couldn’t tell in Three Women find a place here in this cleverly constructed thriller, albeit through a fictive filter. Sure, lend to a friend to discuss in-between mouthfuls of chips and glugs of house white but ask for it back. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
That Summer – Jennifer Weiner
A novel about the transformative power of female friendship? We’re in there like swimwear. From the boss of beach reads, Jessica Weiner, That Summer is a story about surviving our pasts, confronting our futures and the sustaining bonds of friendship. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
Threadneedle – Cari Thomas
Anna’s Aunt has always warned her of the dangers of magic. Its twists. Its knots. Its deadly consequences. Now Anna counts down the days to the ceremony that will bind her magic forever. Until she meets Effie and Attis. They open her eyes to a London she never knew existed. A shop that sells memories. A secret library where the librarian feeds off words. A club where revellers lose themselves in a haze of spells. But as she is swept deeper into this world, Anna begins to wonder if her Aunt was right all along. Is her magic a gift … or a curse? Thread Needle is the perfect YA fantasy for anyone hankering for a summer of magic. Purchase through Bookshop.org here.
The Other Black Girl – Zakiya Dalila Harris
Twenty-six-year-old editorial assistant Nella is tired – tired of being the only black employee at Wagner Books, tired of the micro-aggressions and tired of the marginalisation. So, when newcomer Hazel joins the company, Nella is thrilled to have another black woman on the team until she becomes the rising star and undermines her role. Then the menacing notes start appearing on Nella’s desk advising her to leave her job unless she wants bad things to happen…
From jumpsuits to dresses and shorts to crop tops, Terry toweling is a surprisingly versatile material that thanks to brands like Jaded and Skims have taken over our Insta feeds and bridged the gap between comfort and cool.
New summer trend alert! If you were still feeling a little sceptical about leaving loungewear and the comfort of elasticated waistbands behind, never fear, Terry towelling is here to save the day. Praise be! This comfy yet chic trend is everything you need on a day when you really cba but still want to look somewhat put together, and can be both dressed up and dressed down to suit your every post lockdown need.
From jumpsuits to dresses and shorts to crop tops, Terry toweling is a surprisingly versatile material that thanks to brands like Jaded and Skims have taken over our Insta feeds and bridged the gap between comfort and cool. Whether it’s to throw on after a dip in the sea or with a high pony for bottomless brunch, all things Terry towelling heaven won’t be one you regret adding to basket.
Zoe
Okay, I flipping love this trend! I actually already own a Terry towelling co-ord that I ordered a few years ago so managed to find a great dupe on ASOS! It’s comfortable to wear, not as thick or warm as you might think. Would wear this with chunky trainers, some sunnies and then also found this tote which could be overkill with the outfit, but a nice little nod with something else.
I love the plush terry cloth fabric, especially for carefree summer days down the beach or by the pool. In fact, I just snapped up this blue terry cloth playsuit from Mango and have worn it to death ever since. It’s so easy to throw on with trainers or sandals, a tote bag and sunnies and head out for the day.
I love the look of these rompers for summer, unsure on whether I’ll look like a giant baby but I’m sure id still rock it in my garden. I’d love to pop this on for a beach day or down to my local lido with a swimming cosi, sandals, classic beach tote and of course a chunky gold necklace.
I love this trend, especially for unpredictable British Weather. This Co-ord would be perfect for a long day at the beach. Chuck the shorts on when you’ve just been for a dip and want to cover up a bit more. Then as it gets into the evening, perhaps having a cheeky BBQ, chuck on the jumper. Paired with some sexy, comfortable, practical crocs and you’re all set for a day at the seaside.
I honestly couldn’t possibly love this trend more! I have a pair of Terry towelling shorts from a Warehouse X Shrimps collab a couple of years ago and they’ve truly been one of my most ever worn summer items so I’m absolutely on board with adding more of this texture to my wardrobe. I’ve gone for a warm colour palette that makes me think of holidays and some little sandals I think are perfect for a day out shopping or brunch with the girls. No look is complete without a tote bag IMO and I love this one from ASOS so much!
I love this trend so much! Towelling is so versatile, it’s great for the beach too and looks super cute. I’ve styled two outfits with the same accessories because I loved both so much. This lilac playsuit is so cool and paired with white trainers is such a laid back look. Also obsessed with these yellow towelling shorts from Collusion paired with this floral bralet from Monki!
