Self-pleasure is natural. It’s healthy, it’s stressbusting and it’s an ELITE form of self-care but hey, there’s a time and place. Agreed? If the impulse to touch yourself is starting to have a negative effect on your life, your relationships, or your work, then it might be worth discussing with a mental health professional. To borrow an iconic quote from Sex Education, if you’ve been wanking all night, had four packets of crumpets and you think your clit might fall off, then it might be time to get to the bottom of what these compulsive urges are really about.

From self-pleasure to self-doubt, we’ll also be discussing how using someone else as a benchmark for your own worth is the death of joy. The comparison trap tracks us all down at some point: when our friends are making strides in their careers, settling down before us or, as is the case in this month’s BYAM, passing their driving test first time whilst some of us have yet to find a driving instruction willing to share a car with us….

It can feel like the whole world is thriving besides you but PSA: thoughts aren’t facts and comparison is the fugliest nastiest skank bitch we’ve ever met. Do not trust her. Your personal values are the only standards you need to compete with.

Elsewhere, we’ll be dishing out some of our finest advice on first ever date nerves and dealing with trust issues after an emotionally abusive relationship, so get clicking through the gallery to read the team’s replies.

Next year, we’ll be shaking up our BYAM offering, so if there’s anything you’d love to see us change up for the series, we’d love to hear from you! Get in touch – betweenyouandme@zoella.co.uk

Danielle

Hello love, I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your Mum and the subsequent anxiety it has been causing you. It definitely sounds like quite a rare situation that I doubt many of your friends and family have experienced, which always makes it harder for people to understand exactly what you’re going through. When family members pass you would think the worst part is them actually passing but actually, sometimes it’s all the stress and grief they leave behind that affects people more, especially as you weren’t as close. It’s hard to talk to your family about the situation as they won’t want you to downplay your relationship with your mum and basically say you’re not as bothered about it as them, so I would maybe refrain from telling them the truth and just tell them how you’re feeling quite anxious and stressed and would appreciate them backing off a little to help you process everything in your own way. Grief affects us all differently and them coming to you for things/needing your time is negatively affecting your mental health. I would also make sure you process your grief properly and try not to worry as much about Uni work, it’s super important right now but in the long run, you don’t want to regret putting too much significance on schooling over your relationship with your siblings. Make sure you’re taking time for yourself whether that be meditating, exercising or a relaxing bath, take each day as it comes, and remember your University is there to help you work through this kind of thing too. Sending hugs xx

Lareese

Hello lovely,

Thanks for writing in for BYAM.

Driving anxiety is incredibly common (something we’re hoping to touch on in an article next year actually!), from the tests themselves to driving roads you’re not familiar with and driving at night (a big fear of mine), it’s that feeling of being out of control and all the potential things that could go wrong. Add in classic exam nerves and covid postponements on top of that and it’s really no wonder you’re feeling stuck in a rut with it.

First thing’s first – take a leaf out of Adele’s book and go easy on yourself. Comparisonitus is a real dick – we all do it, but how long it took your friends to pass their test is none of your business. You do you, boo! Stay in your lane. It takes as long as it takes and all I can say is no one (literally no one) will ever ask you how long / how many times it took you to pass. Once you’ve got that shiny pink license, you become someone who drives or someone who doesn’t and that’s where the conversation ends. It likely feels like a huge deal right now because you’re in it and it probably feels like the whole world has passed their test besides you – fomo sucks – but once you’ve got your own set of wheels and you’re hitting the open road as a qualified driver, all of the stress of getting there will be a distant memory. If anything, it’ll feel even more momentous when you get that sweet “P” plate.

I feel like driving is such a niche skill and it’s one of those things that either comes naturally to you or it doesn’t. I was certainly in the latter camp. I could not master the art of reverse round a corner for the life of me. One thing I would say to help calm your nerves is talk to yourself! I’ve got a friend learning to drive at the moment and she said during lessons, it has helped her enormously to talk herself through what she needs to do step-by-step. There’s no reason why you couldn’t do that in your test, too!

Create a little calming ritual to practise before your next test. Breathwork techniques could be something worth trying to channel that nervous energy along with positive affirmations to go through the evening before and on the morning of your test. Make sure you’re just the right amount of hydrated haha (you don’t want a full bladder if you’re nervous but equally water helps us focus), well-rested and as prepared as you can, mentally and physically. Get into the habit of thinking this is something that’s coming your way. Manifest the first playlist you’re going to put on when you’re legally allowed to drive a car all on your own. One day you will absolutely be able to toot your own horn – and who bloody cares how long it took you to toot it!

In the meantime, keep on trucking. There’s no such thing as taking too much time to pass, my friend. It’s frustrating and expensive, I hear you but you WILL get your chance to call all fellow drivers wankers and sing Taylor Swift at the top of your lungs whilst on a scenic route through the countryside, and you can’t put a price on that haha.

Charlotte

Hi lovely! I feel you SO MUCH on this issue. I also had the worst anxiety when learning to drive and I think it’s important to recognise that whilst our friends etc may find the experience a smooth one, there are so many valid reasons as to why driving causes problems for so many. Firstly, I think it’s important to try and banish the comparison aspect of what you’re feeling and reaffirm to yourself that everyone is so different in situations like this, so comparing yourself to your peers will only be adding extra pressure in an already intense scenario. There are no doubt so many things you are great at and situations you thrive in that your friends find more challenging, so it’s important to remind yourself that not everyone’s path is going to be the same, and that’s okay!

Next, how are you feeling about your current instructor? The person that you learn from and who guides you through this process is super important, and there are anxiety and nervous driver specific instructors out there that it might be worth looking into to help you on this journey. I think feeling not only comfortable but also empowered and capable of passing is going to be so important for you, and the right person teaching you will 100% be able to give you that confidence. Mindset is a big thing in a driving test, because most likely you’re actually a very capable and good driver, it’s just the nerves and anxiety that get the better of you! It may be worth looking into getting a confidence/lifestyle coach to help you work through some of these limiting beliefs and give you the confidence to know that this is a possibility for you! Some more simple tools you could look into yourself might be breathing techniques and affirmations to calm you down in the test scenario, as I am 100% sure you have it in you to pass, it’s just a case of believing in yourself and the process!

Best of luck and please do let us know when you pass- I bet it will be sooner than you think!

Danielle

Hello love, thank you so much for writing in about your experience with this kind of relationship, a lot of the problems that come into the inbox are people stuck in the middle of an issue but it seems like the situation you’ve described is over and you just need advice on how to process it – which is extremely healthy! Firstly, a massive well-done for removing yourself from that situation as it absolutely sounds toxic, and you being able to take yourself out of it instead of putting up with it is extremely brave and commendable. It sounds like this guy was pretty selfish and had no regard for your feelings whatsoever which does not make for a very fulfilling or healthy relationship. It’s really sh*t that one of your first romantic relationships was with someone that awful and I really hope it doesn’t affect you too much with future partners as men like him are definitely in the minority, but I also wouldn’t blame you if that was the case! Just remember to be open and honest with those partners so they understand where you’ve been. It might be worth writing down some positive things to manifest every morning like; you are worthy, you are important, you are a joy to be around, and you deserve someone who treats you with the same respect you treat them. Wishing you all the best of luck with future relationships, you know the red flags and you know how to be strong and get out of something if it’s not good for you. Now go out and get out of your comfort zone because that’s the best way to grow 🙂

Charlotte

Hi anon, firstly thanks so much for being brave enough to write in and share your experience with us as it sounds like you’ve really been through a lot in dealing with this! Reading your email was one big, almighty red flag for me and I think you’re only just starting to realise the gravity of how toxic this person was now that you’re out of the situation- something that is super common in abusive relationships. It’s completely understandable that you would feel a sense of unease and a lack of trust with potential future relationships, because when someone is manipulative and controlling, they undermine our sense of self, our experiences and generally how we feel day to day, which means in the aftermath we doubt ourselves, and the protective part of our brains wants us to avoid future relationships for fear of the same thing happening again. What I will say is that just because this experience has been so big for you, it is not the be all and end all of how your future relationships will go. It’s really unfortunate that at such a young age this has been your experience because I think it will have shaped how you feel about romantic partners, but please know that the immaturity and toxicity of this person is not something that is inevitable in relationships to come.

Forming a close bond with someone should be a two way street, and for whatever reason this person didn’t have the capacity or desire to give the same time, energy and commitment that you did. When you meet someone who IS willing to do that, I promise things will fall into place with such ease that you will wonder how you were willing to settle for less. The brilliant thing is you were in fact able to recognise in the end that this person wasn’t good for you, and I hope you’ve been able to wrap yourself up in a bundle of love and self compassion for this because it is no easy feat, but does show me that you are ready and open for better things to come.

It seems everything I do at the moment comes back to Taylor Swift, but if you haven’t already I’d really recommend watching the All Too Well short film or reading the lyrics to the extended cut of this song, because it really does sums up toxic, manipulative and gaslight heavy relationships to a tee. You might find some solace (I know I did!) in knowing that your experience is one that so many have gotten through and that it’s possible to go on and find healthy relationships in the future, despite how difficult and impactful this experience feels right now.

Sending endless love and light and remember this is just a tiny chapter that does not define you!

Darcey

This is such a good question, I agree you must feel ready and happy to date, but also on the flipside sometimes just meeting some new people and having fun with no pressure is also a good time. I wonder why you don’t feel ready to date and what is holding you back? I think if it’s anxiety to do with past trauma around dating / relationships, holding off and putting yourself first is wise as you don’t want to push yourself when you are feeling uncomfortable and scared. However, if it’s a self-confidence / worrying about rejection reason, then I think put yourself out there! Dating genuinely can be very scary and I am someone who fears rejection, but after going on a few dates I realised they are basically just like interviews to see if you even get along, and they might turn around and say they aren’t interested, but also the power is in your hands too! I think most people want to be liked and worry about dating because of this, fear of rejection is a reallll thing and I think more people struggle with this than you think. I could be way off and actually you just aren’t sure you can be bothered with dating, which is also totally okay! If you are feeling this way, maybe leave it until dating excites you again. However, it sounds like you’ve met someone you vibe with so maybe try another date and see how it goes? Going on another date doesn’t mean it has to go anywhere, so there’s still plenty of time to cut it off if you do decide it’s not for you. I think if you do decide dating isn’t for you right now, just be open and honest with this person, they’ll appreciate that, I’m sure.

All the best in the future! Darcey X

Lareese

Hello!

Thanks for submitting your BYAM problem. I say ‘problem’ in finger quotes as I don’t think self-pleasure, generally, is a problem. I guess it depends how often you’re talking! If you’re having to make excuses to disappear off to the loo several times a day whilst working, then it might be a little excessive but hey, we’re all different with wonderfully diverse libidos.

However, if it’s got to a point where you’re masturbating when you don’t really want to, you’re in pain, you’re hiding bank statements for those late-night porn hauls or it’s preventing you from doing your job, then I’d say that’s a pretty good indication something’s out of sync and it might be worth reaching out to get some professional treatment, either by speaking 1-1 with a specialist or attending sex addict anonymous groups. Once it’s started to negatively affect your daily-life or you can no longer control the compulsive urges to masturbate, I think that’s the point you might consider psychological help.

If it’s a case of experiencing feelings of guilt or shame around masturbating, then know that you’re not alone. Self-pleasure education still has a long way to go, particularly if you’re female (hello orgasm gap) but masturbation is a natural and joyful way to experience pleasure and has plenty of health benefits but the lack of open conversation certainly makes it feel like a real taboo. Reminder: You are entitled to explore your sexual fantasies!

Good luck with everything and well done for opening up about it.

Lareese x

Dear Taylor, in our eyes you can do no wrong, and theAll Too Well short film released on 12th November as part of the re-recording (iconic) of 2012’s earlier (also iconic) Red album is unequivocal evidence of this.

With each moment beautifully constructed as if by someone who can see inside the minds of every heartbroken soul to mourn a toxic relationship, and every shot designed to make us fall deeper into the despair that comes from this loss, watching the All Too Well film is the type of heartbreak time could never mend.

Indisputably a masterpiece (’til you tore it all up), the short film starring Sadie Sink and Dylan O’Brian is a visual triumph that cements Taylor as a true lyrical, visual and emotive genius. Here’s everything you probably also experienced in the 14 minute, 56 second rollercoaster that is the All Too Well short film… 

• “Love is so short, forgetting is so long” It’s 00.01 seconds in- does Taylor want us to drown in our own tears because that’s the way it’s heading. 
• Taylor Swift invented the colour red.
• “Are you for reaI? […] I don’t know I just feel like maybe I made you up” me @ a past version of myself thinking I could ever exist without Ms Swift.
• Autumn is the superior season for romance.
• The 1989 Mercedes-Benz S-Class. *Insert side eye emoji*
• Googles: ‘Easy way to dye hair red’.
• I want to be Sadie Sink when I grow up.
• IS the scarf a virginity metaphor? Will we ever know?
• I should have put waterproof mascara on.
• I know we don’t like him here, but Dylan O’Brien’s character is très cute …
• THAT 360° SMOOCH

• The black turtleneck and red lipstick duo was and always will be *chefs kiss*
• Sadie’s full wine glass at dinner because she doesn’t drink red wine and is underage. He never cared, and I’m already sobbing. 
• ‘FUCK THE PATRIARCHY’ KEY CHAIN ON THE GROUND.
• Sadie’s plaid shirt is giving me Evermore vibes and it’s too much for my tiny mind to handle.
• Good day to everyone except Jake Gyllenhaal. There I said it.
• The iPhone 4. The attention to detail never stops and I feel like I’m in a fever dream.
• The kitchen scene. Full stop. “I don’t even remember the moment you’re talking about” WELL YOU SHOULD.
• The Champagne Problems lyric crossover (“Because I dropped your hand while dancing / Left you out there standing / Crestfallen on the landing / Champagne problems.”) has me feeling personally attacked.
• “I think you’re making yourself feel that way”- the gaslighting is astounding.
• When I said I wanted to relate to a Taylor Swift song this wasn’t what I meant.
• Hand them an Oscar right now. I will die on this hill.

• Dancing round the kitchen in the refrigerator light IS beautiful, side note.
• Is there significance to this newspaper? Did people still do crosswords in 2010?
• ‘The Breaking Point’ title scene at 07.40, sir I reached my breaking point with you before the video even started.
• Salty tears are overflowing.
• Is anyone else’s chest tight watching this break up scene helplessly? 
• I REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELLLLLLLL.
• I’m the only crumpled up piece of paper around here BC OF THIS VIDEO.
• “Weeping in a party bathroom”: Future me after singing All Too Well at every karaoke party I’m ever invited to. 
• *Runs to Swiftok to find out which actress comforted Taylor in the bathroom*
• Has anyone ever had a birthday they don’t feel sad during, anyway?
• I hope every birthday you’ve had since 21 has been filled with joy and cats, Taylor. You f*cking deserve it.
• The Lover parallels here are enough to melt the coldest hearts. Thank GOD for Joe Alwyn.
• The fairy lights turning on over Sadie’s bed as she wallows is simply poetry.
• 19 and 30 really is a big age gap, huh.
• “I get older but your lovers stay my age” SING IT BLONDIE.
• Taylor. Has. Red. Hair.

• The feminine urge to cancel all my plans for the rest of the year and watch this video on repeat is growing by the second. 
• “And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?”. Yes. My soul is split in two.
• A BOOK?????
• I swear if this woman has a debut novel coming I will never sleep again. 
• When you realise the chapter titles throughout the film are Easter eggs for how she becomes an author at the end. Mind BLOWN.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la, la la la la!

As the 1st of Dec approaches and the socially acceptable date for being truly excited about Christmas arrives, so does the opportunity to add shiny, new decorations to your collection in the process of transforming your home from tip to toe in festive magic. And whilst the nostalgia of pulling the same, well-loved decorations from the (slightly damp) boxes that clutter your attic for 99% of the year is a tradition that never gets old, there’s also something very special about growing your Christmas decoration collection year on year with additions that remind you of that time in your life. After all, 2021 was memorable for far better reasons than the 365 days prior.

Whether your Christmas decoration stash is bursting at the glittery seams or your new home or university halls are looking sparse without an injection of festive decor, keep scrolling to browse the best of the best Christmas decorations Team Zoella will be adding to their homes this year. Featuring Oliver Bonas, M&S, The White Company, Ferm Living and Anthropologie, get ready to feel truly inspired.

Maddie

I am so excited to spend our first Christmas period in our house, I felt so robbed of it last year as our building works took longer than expected. My new Balsam Hill tree stayed sad in its box for a whole year and I am far too excited to finally put it up, the sooner the better. It’s also my daughters first Christmas which makes it doubly special and I can’t wait to hang her first stocking up, put wreaths on the door and make some new traditions together, might even consider a light-up reindeer…!

Balsam Hill, BH Nordmann Fir, £899 | Balsam Hill, Mountain Meadow® Foliage, £329 | *JoJo Maman bébé, RED ROBIN KNITTED CHRISTMAS STOCKING, £19 | *Etsy, PartyTouchesUK, 1.5m Mistletoe Christmas Garland, £15.80 | Lights4Fun, Large Studley Rattan Stag & Doe Light Up Reindeer, £459.99

Danielle

This will be the first time I’ve properly decorated for Christmas as it’s the first in our new home and I can’t bloody wait. My theme for decs is ‘novelty chic’ with lots of pink pops. Kicking things off with the pièce de résistance of any Christmas coffee table, The White Company Winter candle! This acts as both a lovely festive decoration and obviously a deliciously scented candle all at once, they are such a joy to burn. Then I’ve picked a couple of gorgeous tree decorations from Anthropologie in my ideal colours, a fun rainbow and snail! I’ve also picked this gorgeous frosted tree from Antrho as well as this lovely little pot from H&M, I’m going to use them on a windowsill (would look great on a mantle) to add another festive touch.

*The White Company, Winter Botanical Large Candle, £38 | *Anthropologie, Terra Rainbow Tree Decoration, £14 | *Anthropologie, Pink Snail Tree Decoration, £12 | *Anthropologie, Frosted Bottle Brush Tree, £22 |*H&M, Motif-detail porcelain storage pot, £12.99

Lareese

The countdown to 1st December is ON and I can’t wait to get the flat looking festive. As much as I love seeing how cool all the novelty decorations look in other people’s homes, I’m a stickler for traditional colour schemes. I’m going to decorate the mantlepiece with paper trees and bunting and then leave the tree quite sparse with twinkly lights and a few paper decs in white and deep Burgundy scattered in. Might even leave him naked.

*Marks & Spencer, Mandarin, Clove & Cinnamon Light Up Candle, £9.50 | Dunelm, Set of 3 Green and Natural Ringlet Trees, £7 | *H&M, Text-motif doormat, £12.99 | *H&M, Large paper snow star, £9.99 | *Etsy, BubbleandBerry, Wooden Car Christmas Bunting with Foliage, £8.95

Darcey

I love decorating for Christmas and this year I’ve changed my vibe a bit, I’ve just fallen quite in love with novelty / eclectic Christmas decor as it’s so fun and vibrant. Oliver Bonas have some lovely bits, like this fabric tassel garland and blue velvet Christmas sack which is just gorgeous. M&S are great for affordable novelty baubles too, they have little pink toadstool decorations which I think are so bloody cute and will look amazing on the tree.

*Oliver Bonas, Gold Star & Fabric Tassel Hanging Garland, £28.50 | *Oliver Bonas, Poodle Pink Beaded Fabric Christmas Tree Decoration, £7.50 | *Oliver Bonas, Blue Velvet Star Christmas Sack, £32.50 | *Marks & Spencer, 3 Pack Toadstool Tree Decorations, £10 | *Marks & Spencer, 3 Pack Feather Wing Hanging Decorations, £10 | *Marks & Spencer, 3 Pack Glitter Cloud Decorations, £10

Charlotte

This year is the first Christmas that I’m in my new flat and I’m so excited to see the festivities take shape! I love maximalist everything so a chic or Scandi theme wouldn’t be me whatsoever- the bolder and brighter the better! I’ve gone for a fun mix of novelty and colourful tree decorations (of course with a pig tree topper, duh) and I personally love the eclectic look of all of these together. I’ve never bought anything from Ferm Living but I hear so much about it and they have such a fab selection of Christmas bits that are a bit more grown up too, so I’ll probs mix and match!

Heather Evelyn, CHRISTMAS BAUBLE MULTI, £12 | Annie Dornan Smith, PEACE CHRISTMAS ART PRINT, £16 | *Cotton On, Resin Christmas Ornament, £3 | Rose & Grey, Ferm Living Advent Candle, £19 | Fenwick, Pink Ballerina Pig Decoration, £7.49

Holly

My Christmas decs don’t go up until 5th December (after my birthday) but I do already have everything prepared. We always get our tree from a lovely family run business on the outskirts of Brighton. Then I’ve just tried to go as overboard as possible, more is more as the well known saying goes. Give me all the foliage, all the colours and every tacky ornament you can find, including the handmade ones!

Brighton Christmas Trees, Premium Nordmann Fir – 6′, £55 | Dunelm, Artificial Eucalyptus Green Garland 150cm, £8.50 | *John Lewis, 60 Battery Operated Rainbow Star LED Lights, L3.5m, £10 | Hobby Craft, Unglazed Ceramic Star Bunting, £3 | Hobby Craft, Small Fillable Baubles 6cm 6 Pack, £3

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Whilst Kate Winslet’s character in The Holiday implies that being single at Christmas is worse than realising someone else has polished off your turkey/stuffing leftovers, in reality, December as a singleton can actually be quite magical. Hear us out…

Society as a whole is intent on pushing the narrative that everything is better in twos, and whilst there are of course so many beautiful moments to be had when you’re in lurve at xmas, it’s not the be all and end all of living your best life if you happen to be single right now. From spending more time on the things that are important to YOU, and having a little extra £££ to treat yourself to a present or two (don’t mind if we do), the list of benefits to prioritising yourself when single this December is truly endless.

Here are just 20 of the plentiful reasons to make the most of your time without a S/O over the Christmas period of 2021, and remember when you’re 80 you’ll likely look back on your hot girl years with envy. Do with that what you will

Enjoy an entire honey drenched Camembert to yourself. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

Revel in having more money for your own presents- duh! Jo Malone
candles and White Company PJs are being added to basket as we speak.

There’s no pressure to spend time with their in-laws and extended fam you really don’t vibe with. Sorry Janet your bubble and squeak isn’t as good as you think :/

You can snog Jamie from IT (who you’ve been daydreaming about across the photocopier for approx 200 days straight) at the Christmas party sans guilt. That LBD really works wonders!

Your legs can remain unshaved under your Bridget Jones knickers and shapeless pyjamas without a second thought.

You can post all the Christmas glam thirst traps your heart desires.

You can watch all the rom coms you want in PEACE. Love Actually will be on every single day of December and who’s going to tell you otherwise?! There will be no chick-flick shaming on our watch.

You can enjoy quality time with your family and friends without having to juggle another person’s schedule too. Your time is all your own, baby! We’re talking excessively long lie-ins, hour-long baths and days on the sofa galore.

You can relate to the heartbroken Christmas songs that remind you of your ex, and let it be known there’s something extremely cathartic about crying along to Last Christmas with a glass of mulled wine, just sayin’.

Is there any time better than a flirty Christmas romance with the hometown love interest that pops up once a year? Locking eyes across the pub in a wine-induced haze is the stuff of winter dreams. Alexa, play ‘Tis The Damn Season.

Splash out on your nearest and dearest and those you know will be there for you 4ever. There shall be no ‘Why did I ever spend £200 on THEM’ regret round here.

Relish in the love for the festive season and all it has to offer that doesn’t rely on someone else. You are 100% complete on your own and don’t let romance films make you question otherwise!

You can smash out both parts of Fairytale of New York at karaoke like a boss.

There’s no need to pretend you like the lacklustre present from a S/O with zero taste. It might sound harsh but are you ever going to wear that fluffy cardigan? No.

It’s time to bash out all the TV series you’ve been meaning to catch up on this year without waiting for your bf/gf to be available too. Next episode please.

A Christmas Eve smooch with a randomer. Need we say more.

Got a winged liner, smokey eye, false lash, extreme contour and red lip look planned? No biggie. Take as long as you need to get ready and enjoy the sweet, sweet silence of absolutely no one pestering you to hurry up.

Lap up the empowerment of doing everything you’re expected to do in a couple on your own or with friends. We’re talking Christmas markets, ice skating and trying every single coffee chain’s festive drink offerings. Rewrite the rules and know the obsession with romantic relationships is one we all feel, but needn’t.

Starfish in the bed of your family home in your new Christmas PJs AND take all of the duvet because why the f*ck not.

Lap up the time to reflect, journal and look back on your year whilst making big and beautiful plans for the next 365 days centred around your happiness.

First off, how has your 2021 been?

Whilst there have been the obvious challenges, it has been a really exciting year for me. In April I left my job in fashion buying and embarked on all things Heather Evelyn.

I also got married in the summer which was the best day ever! Our wedding was delayed from last year but we felt so fortunate that it could eventually happen, so in lots of ways I have had quite an eventful year!

Can you tell us about your background and journey to starting your own brand?

I’ve always been really creative – I studied Art at Central St. Martins before doing History of Art at Nottingham. Straight out of university I worked in retail seven days a week in an attempt to build up my experience (and pay my rent!), and it was definitely some of the hardest work I’ve done!

After a few months, I got work experience in the head office of the store I was working in and eventually landed a job as a buyer’s assistant. Here I helped launch the company’s first homeware range, before moving to online retailer ASOS in 2014. I loved the fast-paced nature of the work and the volume of product was a huge change. It certainly taught me some core skills that I still need for Heather Evelyn – organisation is key and so are supplier relationships!

Alongside my 9-5(ish) I joined a print studio in Peckham and made prints using a technique called screen printing, which was something I had first started at school. When the first lockdown hit my studio closed, but with ample spare time on my hands, I found a local paper supplier in Stockwell, took over my living room and started making cards!

The next step was to create a website to sell my product on, I chose the provider Squarespace and launched Heather Evelyn online in September 2020. It is incredible to think you can create a website so quickly, and immediately have a platform to sell your product via. Instagram has also been a really amazing marketing tool, and I would recommend anyone to start here first! Alongside my own stories and posts lovely customers also share my work in their own content which leads to more people finding out about what I do. Over Christmas I saw the power of Instagram and gained a small following which saw the start of my business growth – I am so grateful for every share and post!

For those that don’t know, tell us about Heather Evelyn?

It began as an online stationery brand selling my greetings cards and notelets. I then added the illustrated candles, which are now best sellers and I get lots of sweet messages from customers about these. I’m always working on new products, including growing my small homeware collection with new table linen and candle holders coming soon, which I am really excited about.

Recently I have started working with a print company called Calverts in Bethnal Green who do a lovely job at printing my designs. Whilst I love the handmade element, larger orders have made this task impossible…I need my sleep! Tradition and craftsmanship are what I love though so I am using a printing process called lithographic printing (which has been around since the 19^th century!).

With a focus on seasonal events, the idea of gifting really excites me and gives purpose to my products. I have just supplied my first Christmas order to Selfridges, which was such a proud moment seeing my product in-store! I also supply a few smaller retailers locally which is lovely – one of the first was Wild by Tart in London who have been so supportive, and it is nice to feel I have a wider team with the stockists that I work with.

What is the process like for creating a new product?

Always a sketch! I find I have so many ideas (often as I am trying to sleep or when I stir at night), so I try to keep a note but it is hard when it’s something visual.

What have some of the highs and lows been of starting your own business?

The highs are definitely in the creative process and then at the end when a product finally makes it on site. However, there are lots of steps in between, and these can be where the lows crop up. Recently I have been missing having a team to share ideas with, at ASOS you always worked in large teams and it was always really nice to share your successes.

Getting to grips with the tech and general admin essentials to start your business has been a challenge, but fortunately, there is so much help online and the website provider that I use (Squarespace) is geared up for first-time users which is perfect.

Things take time – as I mentioned there are lots of steps and you also don’t necessarily know if the path you are on is the right one, so the uncertainty can sometimes be daunting. However, having support from your customers and online community is brilliant.

I still remember when I first spotted my product in a weekend magazine, I was over the moon! As a small business, it is unbelievable to see your product sit beside established brands.

What are your tip gifts for anyone looking to treat someone to some Heather Evelyn this Christmas?

If you are going all out, pick a primary colour to base your own Christmas theme on and work from that – my favourites are the red diamond wrap and multi baubles, which work nicely together! I think the last 18 months have also required us to get creative in order to stay in touch, and nothing beats an old-fashioned Christmas card.     

How do you create your infamous handwritten candles?

All you need is a fun or loveable quote!

Can you tell us some of your favourite small businesses?

Sleepy Doe, a British brand that has the most incredible PJ sets, they offer matching prints for adults & children which I just love!

Wax Atilier, candle brand that has the yummiest palette

Thread The Word, Sarah offers bespoke gifts, embroidering homeware and clothing. Recently she had a wedding favour commission, personalised Christmas decs which is the best idea ever!

Binibamba, another British brand that has really gorgeous sheepskin accessories for children

What are you working on for next year?

I have just launched my first line of gift wrap which has been well received and I would love to expand this range – I have a real obsession with gift wrap and ribbon!

Also to come are some new candlesticks which a lot of people asked for last year and it’s taken some time but I’m so pleased to have worked with a ceramicist that is finishing my first batch at the moment – they will be launching next month.

Then believe it or not I am starting to think about next Christmas and of course every event in between.

What does your perfect weekend look like?

I love to do something fun on Friday night, if I can get out and into London, it’s great to feel the buzz of the city after spending the week working at home. Then Sunday always feels the most relaxing, a nice walk somewhere, Richmond Park is a real favourite for me and my dog Rudy. Followed by a tasty brunch then catch up with friends or family.

What do you always carry with you?

A notebook for ideas and sketches, plus magazines – I have so many subscriptions plus the free ES & Stylist are great.

What would your last ever meal be?

Probably this mushroom chicken dish that my Mum has cooked me for years, then followed by something sweet for pudding!

What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?

Don’t doubt yourself, take the enthusiasm you have for an idea, run with it and turn it into something great!

2021 may have been an improvement on the year we’d rather forget, but it has certainly still had endless highs and lows that mean a well needed rest, reset and recharge this Christmas are something worth counting down for. And although the most wonderful time of the year is the perfect time to celebrate your nearest and dearest and spill out the thoughts and feelings that have filled your gratitude journal over the past 365 days, we’re here to remind you that you also deserve to feel special and treat yourself in ways you normally wouldn’t, just because you can. 

In the same vein of deliciously ‘AHHH’ worthy presents you’d buy for your bestie, look no further than this edit for a selection of gift ideas that will make your year too! From luxury candles to keepsake jewellery, indulgent make-up (hello Gucci) to new artwork to spice up your home, find something that makes your heart sing and add it the basket before the self deprecating voice (that we all have btw) tells you you don’t deserve it. You can be your own best friend if you let yourself be treated like one, and if that’s not an attitude to take into 2022 we don’t know what is…

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Having a sober Christmas this year? Join the club.

There are bottomless benefits of celebrating the holidays without booze, the best one of all being fresh as a daisy for Boxing Day / Christmas Day take two and revelling in the smugness of your good, responsible choices.

Zero alcohol spirits and mocktails are having a real moment, so your cup will be full to the brim, literally and metaphorically. Whether you’re teetotal all year round, expecting a baby or just embracing the holiday season and going easy on the mulled stuff because you don’t need booze to have a good time, these alcohol-free cocktails will ensure you’re happy and hangover-free through all the merriment.

Now is as good a time as any to be sober curious and with this drinks menu at your fingertips, December 25th will be anything but dull. See you at the bar!

Apple Highball

Beer fear doesn’t live here. Using the Seedlip Garden 108 combined with apple juice, lemon and maple syrup you’ll be able to get through your day without a hint of humiliation.

Add 60ml of Garden 108, 30ml unfiltered apple juice, 15ml lemon juice and 15ml maple syrup to a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and strain into a highball glass, top with soda, fresh ice and an apple fan for garnish.

Source: Apple Highball | Non-Alcoholic Cocktails | Seedlip

Espresso MartiNO

An absolute coffee lover’s dream, perfect for perking you up when you feel yourself nodding off to the Eastenders special.

Simply add 60ml of Seedlip Spice 94, 50ml of a cold brew concentrate of your choice and 15ml sugar syrup to a shaker. Add ice and shake. Garnish with fresh coffee beans to make your no-liquor pièce de resistance look and taste like the real deal.

Source: Espresso MartiNO | Non-Alcoholic Cocktails | Seedlip

Sober Santa Christmas Punch

Serve up a big bowl of this holiday punch with a ladle so guests can help themselves. In a large punch bowl, mix 2 cups of cranberry juice, 1 cup of OJ and 1 cup of pineapple juice. Give it a good stir. When you’re ready to serve, add 2 cups of sparkling apple juice or apple cider and 1 cup of ginger ale for a festive kick. Finish with fresh orange slices, pomegranate seeds or cherries for garnish and plenty of ice.

Source: Non Alcoholic Christmas Punch For The Holidays – The Mindful Mocktail

The JOMO {Joy Of Mulling Out}

For an easy booze-free take on this traditional festive tipple loved by all, grab a bottle of non-alcoholic Merlot or pomegranate juice and cranberry juice if you prefer + orange slices, cloves, cinnamon sticks and star anise. If you’re going for the juice option, you’ll need 2 cups of water too.

For a true lazy gal recipe, bung it all in the slow cooker on low for 1.5 hours whilst you crack on with some Christmas wrapping. When it’s done and your house is smelling like a Homesense aisle, strain the mulling spices, pour into a heatproof glass or mug and garnish with a slice of orange and hit play on Mariah. Cheers to the joy of mulling out. You’re not missing a thing!

Spice Ingredients:

8 cloves
3 star anise
1 orange sliced
1 cinnamon stick

PS if you’d rather cook on the stove, bring your mulled mix to a gentle boil on a medium heat, then steam for 30 minutes and strain as above.

Source: Non Alcoholic Mulled Wine | Mulled Wine Alcohol Free

CosNO-politan

Christmas off the sauce never looked better. Put all the ingredients in a shaker, fine strain and pour in a coupette glass – she fancy! Garnish with orange zest and enjoy every last smug sip.

Ingredients:

45ml Lyre’s Pink London Gin
15ml Lyre’s Orange Sec
15ml lime juice
30ml cranberry juice
7.5ml strawberry syrup
Lemon twist (optional)

Source: Lyre’s Pink London Cosmopolitan

Everleaf Vanilla Sour

For something rich and decadent to see you through the cocktail party, let this vanilla sour elevate your dry December with aplomb. Add all ingredients to a shaker, strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with a lemon twist or edible flowers.

Ingredients:

50ml Everleaf FOREST
25ml fresh lemon juice
15ml vanilla syrup
15ml aquafaba or egg white

Source: Vanilla Sour

The Merry Mojito Doppelganger

For a bright and complex alternative to the classic minty mojito, add 50ml Everleaf MOUNTAIN, 25ml fresh lime juice, 15ml wildflower honey, 6-8 mint leaves and pomegranate seeds to a highball glass. Mix until the honey has dissolved. Top up the glass with crushed ice and churn with a cocktail spoon. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint and you’re good to knock it back. Aesthetically-pleasing, festive, thirst-quenching but most importantly, a friend to all (foreheads).

Source: MOUNTAIN Fizz

Let It Snow(Ball)

The designated driver shall not be an afterthought this year with this indulgent non-alcoholic take on the classic Snowball.

For the syrup, heat together sugar and water until the sugar dissolves. Leave to cool and pour into a jar. Add the mincemeat to infuse overnight. Strain the mixture and reserve the syrup. Measure out 10ml of the syrup, mix with the other ingredients until white and frothy. Pour into glasses, dust with cinnamon and garnish with redcurrants. For extra points, rim your glasses with cinnamon sugar. Cin-cin!

Ingredients:

Snowball:

300ml vanilla ice cream
100ml lemon juice
500ml diet lemonade
½ tsp ground cinnamon
60g redcurrants

Syrup:

10g mincemeat
25g sugar
25ml water

Source: Snowball Christmas Mocktail Recipe

Zero Proof Bellini

A prosecco-based cocktail made virgin – this zero proof bellini has enough fire in its fizz that you’ll be hard pressed to tell it apart from its boozy counterpart.

Using a chilled champagne flute, add 25ml peach puree. Top it up with London Essence White Peach and Jasmine Crafted Soda for posh champagne-style bubbles, leaving just enough room for a curl of lemon zest. All we want is Soft Seltzer for Christmas.

Source: Zero Proof Bellini | Non-Alcoholic Cocktail Recipe | The London Essence Co.

Jolly White Russian

Curl up with this cool ‘n’ creamy classic + your favourite Hallmark movie and sleep soundly knowing that you didn’t ruin the family portrait this year.

Divide the crushed ice between 4 glasses, leaving the rest in a cocktail shaker. Add the coffee syrup to the shaker then the milk. Attach the lid and give it a gentle shake. Pour into your glasses, garnish and get sinking the good stuff. Merry Christmas, ya filthy sober animal.

Ingredients:

Ice Cubes (10 crushed)
Cold coffee syrup
Arla B.O.B milk
Shaved Milk Chocolate
Cinnamon stick for garnish

Source: Virgin White Russian

Oh the weather outside will soon be frightful, and a new season coat is so delightful! Is there anything more deliciously indulgent than a new piece of outerwear to start the cool winter season? We think not…

From puffers to trench coats and shearling to quilted numbers too, the options for a slice of newness on your coat stand mean simply choosing one will likely be as much of a challenge as deciding on which Christmas coffee to try from Starbs first. And unlike the winter of 2020 (the darkest of times) in which the most love your coat was ever gonna get was a walk down to the local park or beach, this season your newest purchases can be shown off in all their glory at the ice rink, Christmas market and en route to your Friendmas dinner for maximum value for money paid in compliments and ‘oooh where did you get it?!’ remarks. Did someone say main character energy?

Keep scrolling to see Team Zoella’s top picks from the dream destinations that are & Other Stories, Jakke, Whistles, Skinnydip and more…

Danielle

It’s so hard trying not to buy a hundred coats as soon as the colder months come. I feel like a coat is such a big part of my outfit (especially when I’m wearing jeans 90% of the time) that I really need a lot of trend-led outerwear to update my looks. I’ve picked 4 coats I’m drooling over that I think will serve many different purposes, the first being this gorgeous white smart coat from River Island, which I’d save “for best” obviously! The second is a black quilted long coat from H&M, perfect for throwing on for work or the pub on a Saturday afternoon. The third had to be a trench, so good when you just need a light layer on top of your bulky Christmas jumper, great for heading into town and brunch. The 4th and final had to be something in this season’s most desired green, this little smart jacket would be great for evening events and office days!

*River Island, CREAM DOUBLE BREASTED COAT, £90 | *H&M, Quilted outdoor coat, £49.99 | *ASOS, double-layer trench coat in navy, £75 | *Weekday, Tower Wool Jackets, £90

Lareese

I look forward to the crisp mornings every year, when you can throw a coat over any outfit and look somewhat put-together, regardless of what’s underneath. Zara and H&M are my faithful favourites for an everyday coat that’s guaranteed to work with my whole wardrobe. For fun fashion-forward coats and jackets, I’ve recently discovered the brand Jakke. If you’re in the market for an investment piece and want to make a statement this season, Jakke needs to be on your radar! I’m obsessed with the cuffs on the green Bailey coat.

*Arket, Leather-Trimmed Pile Anorak, £125 | *H&M, Quilted coat, £49.99 | *H&M, Faux shearling jacket, £34.99 | Zara, OVERSIZE COAT – SPECIAL EDITION, £79.99 | Jakke, Bailey Coat Bright Green, £249

Charlotte

My coat collection is one that’s always growing and I am of the opinion that you can never have enough- they literally make up your whole outfit in the winter months so I can always justify more! Most of my current coats are short so I think this season I need to invest in a few that offer maximum warmth and cover my bum at least. ASOS is my go-to but I always sleep on H&M and they’ve got some good’uns this year!

Skinny Dip, Borg Trim Midi Faux Leather Coat, £80 | *ASOS, sharp collar trench coat in stone, £70 | *H&M, Long puffer jacket, £39.99

Darcey

Winter jackets are the first thing I get excited about when the colder days begin, they really do make an outfit, but you also want them to be practical as well (especially living in the UK with rainy cold days). Marks & Spencer have the perfect longline quilted coat, super affordable and very lightweight but warm, so it’s perfect for the commute/dog walking etc. I also found a really lovely shearling jacket, perfect for those sunny crisp mornings, also both of these jackets are pretty timeless so I know they’ll do me well for years to come. Lastly, this mono check jacket from Topshop is SO NICE, I am obsessed with it. I urge everyone to buy it.

*Marks & Spencer, The Quilted Coat, £79 | *Marks & Spencer, Faux Shearling Aviator Jacket, £69 | *ASOS, Topshop mono check longline borg coat, £96

Holly

I went to Liverpool in September and all my coats got stolen, genuinely 4 coats/jackets so I have some very recent experience shopping for winter coats. I was very sensible and brought coats for every eventuality. I got a practical black puffer one for the wintery walks and national trust trips I’m planning. A fun faux fur one to subdue the heartbreak of my strawberry coat being stolen and a leather jacket for when we’re queuing for the club. As well as a fancier one for work and day to day life where pink fluffy clouds might not be acceptable.

*Boohoo, Plus Leather Look Quilted Biker Jacket, £55 | Skinny Dip, Pink Cloudy Faux Fur Coat, £65 | Zara, WATER-REPELLENT PUFFER COAT, £89.99 | *Dorothy Perkins, Popper Hem Wrap Coat, £80

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If deciding which is the superior Christmas chocolate hasn’t already been dubbed the hardest choice of the festive period, committing to one decorative theme is surely a close second. Spoiler: Surely Maltesers is the unrivalled winner, no? And in the year in which we can finally welcome our nearest and dearest back into our homes for celebrations galore, you best believe the stakes are higher than ever for nailing a style that leaves your house feeling like a home for your loved ones to enjoy. After all, and in the words of Paul McCartney, “The moon is right, the spirits up. We’re here tonight, and that’s enough”…

From mantelpiece garlands to tree decorations, table centrepieces and entranceways that wow, there’s endless decorative options to explore when Christmas-ifying your home this festive season. Etsy search reports this year are cementing the humble tablescape as the decor trend to watch, with searches for place settings up 72%, tablescape decor up 27%, and napkin rings up 19%. Get your festive tablecloths at the ready! 

If you’re having trouble deciding which (snowy) route to follow for Christmas 2021, look no further for the ultimate inspiration guide of our three favourite decorative styles and themes: Retro, Scandi and Natural Florals. 

Novelty Retro Fun

Sometimes the classics are best: Mariah’s version of ‘All I Want for Christmas’, Love Actually over recent Xmas movies and mince pies without the newfangled toppings, and for some, that’s the mantra for Christmas decks too. Red, green, white and gold are traditional Christmas through and through, and you can’t go far wrong by incorporating those colours into your home year in and year out. For this theme, it’s all about mixing the traditional, passed down through the decades decks, with some kitsch and retro additions to curate a fun, colourful yet traditionally Christmasified space. We recommend heading over to W.A Green for a huge selection of fun colourful novelty ornaments! Mix up your textures with a combination of paper, glass and plastic decorations, as the combination of all three works seamlessly to add volume and pizzaz to your spruce, even if it is a sorry looking faux version that’s definitely seen better days…

Shop: The White Company Pre-Lit Grand Spruce Christmas Tree, £645

Shop: W.A. Green, range of novelty colourful Chrismas baubles and celebrity ornaments

When it comes to dressing your table: more is more, period. For a simple way to inject a little more va va voom into your dining room, opt for colourful plates (and mismatched designs too if you’re feeling brave) against a darker cloth to really make them pop, and finally, in the name of pre-dinner tradition, finish with a chic set of crackers (we went for personalised cocktail crackers from The Buffalo). If your roast dinner spread doesn’t take up your entire table (who could blame you) then centrepieces are a great way to carry through decor choices throughout your home, and they needn’t be expensive either! Stack paper garlands and lanterns and surround them with candles (at a safe distance) and consider your table of dreams complete! 

For some real novelty fun that’s guaranteed to evoke a reaction from your guests, hang mismatched baubles from a chandelier or hanging light feature with some leftover ribbon and watch as your living space is transformed to a colourful haven Santa and his elves would feel right at home in.

Shop: Habitat 100 Pack of Bright Baubles, £12

Shop: The Buffalo, Personalised Christmas Cocktail Crackers, £18

Minimal, Modern, Scandi

‘Tis the season for bringing the outside in and this Christmas aesthetic just so happens to cement itself as a true celebration of all things foliage, foliage and foliage – if you’re a fan of holly, red berries and mistletoe, then look no further. Sarah O’Sullivan, Home Designer and Partner at John Lewis sums this up, noting that “carefully considered design details are at the heart of Natural Scandinavian style. Layering natural materials will add interest and draw on the appeal of nature within the home”

Shop: H&M, Snowflake Garland, £17.99

Shop: The White Company Pre-Lit Grand Spruce Christmas Tree, £645
Shop: H&M, Dark Green Glittery Garland, £12.99

The soft colour palette instantly adds an element of zen to your home, with no bright colours or dazzling decorations that steal the show, simply beautifully understated decor that feels sophisticated and warm. Of all the Christmas decor styles to opt for, Scandi is best suited to minimal design lovers who favour earthy tones and pared-back additions to their treasured humble abode.

Scandinavian winters are long and harsh, meaning inviting indoor spaces are important for those living in these super cold conditions more than most. The Danish word ‘hygge’, roughly translating to “a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment” became an international buzzword and design trend in recent years, but is especially desirable during the festive period. Ultimate cosiness after a cold walk home from the bus stop? Yes please!

Shop: H&M, 2-pack tapered candles, £1.99

Stick with one clear, neutral colour palette, encompassing greens, whites, gold and other earthy tones with everything from tree decorations to wrapping paper and crackers to emulate the clean and cosy ambience of Scandi living. Add the characteristic warmth of a typical Scandinavian design with fairy lights, candles and soft mood lighting and prepare to never want to leave your house again! 

For those with little storage in their homes or who want to minimise the amount of Christmas decorations they’re purchasing, the Scandi aesthetic might just be the one for you- a Scandinavian touch really does go a long way. 

Fruity & Floral

Maximalist, colour lovers rejoice- this festive aesthetic is for you! If there was ever an ultimate oxymoron at Christmas it might just be florals in winter, but we’re not mad about how much sense this theme makes once it all comes together. Trust the process, people! 

Shop: John Lewis & Partners, Festive Field Dogwood Spray, £8.00

For those whose fancy isn’t tickled by a traditional bauble design then consider the humble carnation (or flower of your choice) your friend in this instance, and watch as your tree is transformed into a colourful oasis of joy that you can’t help but smile at. Simply attach flowerheads with some floristry wire et voila! Dressing your tree has never been easier or more striking. This trend is one to watch for those who love the natural vibes of Scandi but want to take it to another level with the traditional vibrancy of a Christmas colour palette. If you want to make your spruce look ‘merry and bright’ this is the outfit it deserves. 

Shop: Selfridges & Co, Glitter-embellished foam toadstool Christmas decoration set of two, £28.00

Combine real and faux foliage in this design for the perfect marriage of botanical decor that’s sure to last. With additions such as a Toyon (the perennial shrub classically seen at Christmastime, FYI) your mantelpiece feature is sure to really steal the show. Finish with some woodland themed accessories- think mushrooms, mini toadstools, tiny birds and acorns- and your nature lovin’ mantel is complete. The beauty of this theme is how seamlessly it fits into most interior styles, from minimalist, traditional or farmhouse, this unique and standout festive theme adds a certain je ne sais quoi to any space. 

Shop: John Lewis & Partners, Blush Coast Poinsettia Clip On Decoration, Set of 4, Pink, £6.00

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First off, how has your 2021 been?

2021 has been fast and busy! I can’t believe we’re already in November and the end of the year is approaching. It’s been a strange year for certain, going from the lockdown at the start of the year to the gradual reintroduction of “normal life” back into our daily lives. I feel really fortunate that I’ve been able to pursue so many of my creative goals and ambitions this year, from signing with a new agency for representation for my writing, doing more acting work alongside my writing and establishing my own theatre company, Fury Theatre, focused on “female stories told with fire”. I’ve also had the pleasure of working with brilliant people, and having the support of friends and family along the way, which I’m so grateful for.

Can you tell us about your background and journey to scriptwriting?

I grew up writing stories and poems – and even plays when I got a bit older – but I never really knew that I wanted to be a writer. It didn’t feel like something “someone like me” could do. I was from a small village in Lincolnshire in the Midlands and didn’t know anyone who’d made a successful career doing something like writing. Theatre was my route into creativity from a young age, first as an actor and then realising that I loved writing scripts (and getting to tell other people what to do on stage!) I studied English Literature at the University of York and after graduating, decided to give writing a go and see how it went.

It’s been a long process since then, filled with lots of twists and turns, but I wouldn’t change a thing as I learned so much from each of those ups and downs. When I discovered screenwriting and started collaborating with filmmakers, I really felt like I’d found a new way of telling stories that excited me hugely. I started writing short films initially, before plunging headfirst into feature films with only limited experience – but a strong sense of the kind of stories that I wanted to tell, about women, places and emotional experiences that I felt I hadn’t seen depicted on screens with the complexity they deserve.

Your film Lapwing releases this month, can you tell us what an audience can expect?

Lapwing is a psychological historical thriller that has some challenging themes at its heart, from emotional abuse and coercive control to bigotry, toxic masculinity and misogyny. Set in 1555, on the rural coast of Lincolnshire, Lapwing is the story of a young non-verbal woman, Patience, who lives a suffocating life under the tyrannical thumb of her brother in law. When she meets an illegal traveller, a young man called Rumi, she starts to imagine a different life for herself. But this brings her immediately into conflict with her family and her community – particularly her toxic brother in law who will stop at nothing to keep Patience close.

What gave you the inspiration for writing Lapwing?

Lapwing actually started life as a short film. I have always been inspired by the past in my creative work, and also by isolated rural locations, and these things came together with a very vivid image of a young woman in Tudor dress covered in blood. That probably gives a sense of the tone and some of the themes of Lapwing – violence was always at its heart. From there, I developed the other elements of the character, world and story on my own initially, and then with Philip Stevens, the director of the feature. Lapwing was always going to be a story about a young woman finding her voice in some way and rebelling against the constraints placed upon her, which, like for so many young women, felt like a very resonant story that I could connect with and empathise with.

The movie is set in 1555, how much research goes into writing something set so far back in history?

A lot, in all respects of the process. Not just for me as a writer, but also for the director, the actors and particularly the design team from costume to set and props. It was important to us that Lapwing was as historically accurate as we could make it, and we were really fortunate to be working with incredible creatives who brought the world to life on a minuscule budget. From my perspective, the historical research was really about asking questions about the kind of life Patience would have had, and what her worldview was like compared to the others around her. Patience is in some ways a very modern figure, but she is also a woman of her time.

What is the process like for writing a script and eventually having it become a movie?

Exciting and terrifying in equal measure! It’s a really exciting time when you’re working on a new creative project, but inevitably it’s also scary when you’re handing that script over to other people, who you know will have opinions, ideas and feedback on it. You make yourself vulnerable when you write from the heart and when you write about themes and issues that are really important to you, as I did with Lapwing. But I do believe that the feedback you receive from trusted sources is all about helping you to tell the story you want to tell and ensure it’s communicating itself to the absolute best of your ability. So then the making of the script is a really thrilling process, seeing actors and a whole team of creatives bringing this thing you wrote to life. It can feel quite overwhelming sometimes, and now I’m in the midst of all of the confusing excitement of introducing the film to a wider audience. My mum and dad haven’t even seen it yet, and now it’s getting reviews and will be going out in front of people who I’ll never meet. That’s strange – but totally wonderful.

What are some common misconceptions about scriptwriting and the film industry?

I suppose my biggest misunderstanding about the process of filmmaking was the time these things can take. I was prepared for Lapwing to be a long journey, but it’s been a learning curve for me to really see and feel that play out. Also, it’s been a fascinating process to see how much a film is created and refined in the edit after filming. It makes complete sense retrospectively because the decisions an editor and director make in the edit shape the film, the tone and the way the story is told, but as a writer who’d never experienced a film edit before, that was a really new and interesting experience for me and not one I’d imagined previously.

Do you have to make many compromises on what you had originally imagined when a script gets made into a movie?

Inevitably things have to change on the journey from page to screen, whether that’s because of budget, time constraints on set – or sometimes things just don’t work the way you want them to when you start doing them with real people in a location. I think because of my background in theatre, where there’s always a lot of collaboration between writer, director and actors in the room, I feel quite relaxed about changes that might need to take place. I think it’s about trust – as long as you are working with a team of creatives who understand your story and truly want to put your vision forward along with their own, you’re in safe hands. That was exactly what it was like with Phil Stevens (the director of Lapwing), as I knew that everything he suggested or spoke to me about was to make the story as clear and strong as it could be. Also, Phil always talks to me about changes he might need to make – for whatever reason – which helps enormously, to always feel part of the conversation.

What are you working on now?

At the moment I’m in rehearsals for a new Christmas show for the Durham Gala Theatre. It’s an adaptation of the Nutcracker story called The Nutcracker Re-Miced and told from the perspective of a Rat Pack of three punk-rock loving mice living in the Durham clock tower. It’s been lots of fun to work on something full of life, music and fun – quite a contrast to the darker themes in a lot of my work! I’m also busy working on several new features and TV ideas, as well as developing a new show with my theatre company Fury Theatre.

What does your perfect weekend look like?

Brunch would definitely be involved, along with catching up with friends and family (usually drinking prosecco!) and my partner and I will probably go to the cinema or theatre, head out for a walk around our home city of Lincoln, which is beautiful, and paint together. We both work in the creative industries, so at least some of the weekend will involve some writing for me, and probably rehearsing the current project for the stage as well!

What do you always carry with you?

A tube of Smarties. They’re my essential fuel for writing, and the nostalgia of them always cheers me up!

What would your last ever meal be?

Definitely my mum’s Sunday roast, with my boyfriend’s chocolate mousse for pudding. That’s totally a hint to them, if they feel like cooking for me any time soon!

What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?

Take the time to figure out what it is you want to do, and when you know that – go for it with everything you are. Never hold back and never let fear stop you from doing something. Believe in yourself and push yourself out of your comfort zone. It’s worth it.